#cali burrito

[foodcravings]

Cali burrito (via Instagram)

[dry-gold]

[sastielsfandom]

I know cali burritos are basic but usually they're safe from guacamole without having to put anything. Not today, immediately had to spit it out and take some benadryl. I hate being allergic to avocados.

[newsbrand]

The Original Del Taco

[pedrospatch]

sometimes self care is using the last $10 in ur bank account to buy urself a cali burrito and a diet coke

[sreegs]

there is one correct answer to this poll, and it's "No, I do not reside in California"

[venusinsilk]

Woke up. Made coffee. Ordered a cali burrito with pastor, birria consome, esquite and a cucumber agua fresca from one of my fav mexican restaurants. Walked a few blocks to pick it up. Tipped generously (Working on new years day sucks. Please tip restaurant workers well today!) Drew a bath and ate my feast from a chair next to the bathtub lollll well I ate a little of everything and now dinner is sorted too bc this place hooks up their sides and portions generously 😋

Starting out 2025 with reckless decadence and really setting the tone for doing whatever the fuck I feel like!!! I hope anyone reading this does the same

[castlebyersafterdark]

rewatching s4 and pissing myself at the airport scene. mike looks so zany looool what is he on

once again i am asking when he changed into that outfit. i cant remember where the shops are at the airport... would he have already come past shops in cali? gone to the loo to change before meeting them out of the gate? there's no way that boy bought a shirt saying 'surf' in indianapolis airport in march lmao.

this scene feels so grounded to me because its the first time i pricked up my ears with his character. like why the fuck is he wearing sunglasses indoors? is he julian casablancas? where is the sun, mike? is it inside the lenora airport lounge? is it will? are you blinded by his beauty so youre taking every measure to ensure you dont pop a boner in the middle of duty free?

argyle is OUTRAGEOUS for delving down the back of his neck like that, will could only dream of doing that and there is argyle doing it on FIRST MEET

and then mike and el have the hidden lines about trust tucked into the breakfast burrito conversation, oh what a set up. but mainly mike's zany face and smile like he is constipated. babe its just so...

oh dear. its a car crash isnt it.

One of the greatest gifts the show gave us was the airport scene. The catalyst for everything. It's incredible beginning to end. Your reaction is so accurate.

He probably bought it genuinely thinking he needed to look cool and fit in out in California. He looks like a total tourist. That's absolutely what some nerd who only knows about Cali from movies / TV would dress himself in. Did Karen buy him the outfit? Did they order it out a catalogue? Did they specifically drive to the mall at the next town over to find him a new outfit for his trip and this is what he landed on? Awww. So many possibilities, all so interesting. And all - clearly not Mike at his realest.

He's trying and failing to be so cool. Failing so hard. He can barely speak normally! He's so weird about everything, so awkward. And he doesn't act like a guy who's reuniting with his long time, long distance girlfriend either hmm 👀 Specifically we see at the end of the season how Jonathan and Nancy reunite. Romance! Flying into each other's arms. Mike gives El a pathetic little peck as some random extras walk by and block the shot (On purpose. Consider that.) and he shoves her away and tells her she's crushing the flowers. Hmmmmmm.

We can go a dozen rounds over the terrible not-hug. So many layers to that one. I'll focus in on "are you blinded by his beauty so youre taking every measure to ensure you dont pop a boner in the middle of duty free" as a shoutout to a post I saw recently where some brave soul talked with enthusiasm at this very notion. People are getting bolder!! Truly love to see it!!

There's so much to unpack with the scene. Brilliant cinema.

The best part of this scene?? Will's excited little hops to get to Mike. AHHHH. He is the cutest boy in the world. 🐰🐇🐰🐇

Oh wait I forgot about the part where Argyle completely HUMBLES and eviscerates any semblance of cool he thought he might have acquired. Nerfed that shit immediately. Good for you, Argyle. We all needed that.

[foodcravings]

Cali burrito (via Instagram)

[horny4hetfield]

Rockies Christmas - Day 15

Warnings:  Snow Day, Wind event,

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

I slowly rotate in bed.  My legs a little achy from being pinned by James earlier this morning makes me smile.  I can hear that the winds have picked up outside.  Reaching out I find his side of the bed empty.  The smell of onions being grilled floats into the room.  Sitting up, stretching, I make my way into the bathroom.  When done and cleaned up, I dig out a pair of stretchy pants.  I’m down to the bottom of the stack which means that I need to do laundry.  Pulling open the drawer that should have my tank tops in it, it’s empty.  Yup.  Need to get the laundry done.  I find a bra and taking one of James’ t-shirts – Bastardane – I finish getting dressed and head into the kitchen finding James at the stove with a huge skillet grilling onions.  I hug him from behind, “Morning.”

Twisting slightly and wrapping an arm around me, he kisses me, “Morning.”  He smiles at me and wiggles his eyebrows, “Feeling ok?”

I stand on tiptoe and kiss him, “I feel beautiful.”

Gently patting my ass, “Good.”  Then, “Hey, that’s my shirt.”

“Well, if the kiddos weren’t here, I’d be starkers” as I flash him my lacy bra.  I get a grin in response.

“Need to do laundry?” he smiles turning back to the skillet.

“Should probably change our sheets too” I purr at him as I head towards the coffee maker running my hand over his ass.

He nods in agreement, “Yeah, that’s probably a really good idea!”

Almost as if by magic, all the kids turn into the kitchen together.  “Damn, Dad.  You use a lot of onions” Cali declares sitting at the bar.

Looking at his oldest, “You have a problem with that?” he grins.

CGF sits next to Cali, “I don’t, except that they give Castor gas.”

“Tell us something we don’t already know” Marcella snarks at her brother.  He gives her a snarky smile back.

Marcella pulls out her phone as it buzzes.  James looks at her.  “Reminder that we need to check in to our flights.”

All the kids pull out their phones and check into their flights.  “Hey Marcella” Castor says putting his phone away, “Thanks for the reminder.”

“You’re welcome” she grins at her brother.

“Hey Kira!  Nice choice in shirts!” Castor grins.  I give him a pair of horns.

James finishes the onions and starts the eggs.  I see that he’s already put out the stuff to make burritos.  “Kira, will you please start the microwave?  I already have the roast beef in there.”

He’s even set the time needed.  I push the start button smiling at him.  Then grab our mugs and make our coffees.  A few minutes later, we are all sitting at the kitchen table enjoying our breakfast burritos. 

I watch as Cali and CBF keep giggling with their hands interlaced over Cali’s belly.

James smiles at them, “Moving more in the morning or evening?”

“A little in the morning.  More in the evening.” Cali smiles.

Nodding, “I’ll bet on an evening birth” James grins.

“Morning” Marcella speaks up.

“Midday” is CGF addition.

“Someone write these down!” Marcella giggles.

CGF finds a notepad and pen.  We all make our guesses.

“What does the winner get?” Castor asks.

“To change the first diaper” CBF suggests and there’s laughter all around.

A strong gust of wind hits the house.  “Picking up out there” James says looking out the window.  The wind picks up the loose snow and is blowing it all around.  The clouds in the sky are being torn apart and then put back together.  I shiver some as another gust lifts more snow from the patio.  “How many episodes to we have to finish Stranger Things?” James looks at Castor.

Thinking, “There’s all of season 4 – which is 9 shows, and I think we have 3 left on season 3.”

“Shall we do the long haul and finish this?” James looks around the table.  Another gust of wind hits the house.

“Sure.”  “Not going out in this.”  “Might as well.”  “Yes!” are the mixed responses.

Everyone helps get the kitchen and dishes sorted.  Carrying my coffee mug as I’d not yet finished it, we all make our way to the media room.  Marcella and Castor pull out some extra blankets as the room is little chilled today.  Sinking into our positions on the sofa structure, Castor fires up the system and starts the next episode. 

Between every other episode, there’s a bathroom break.  Someone gets something from the kitchen.  Someone takes all the dirty dishes from the previous kitchen run to the dishwasher.  As the second episode of the fourth season starts, there’s a very harsh gust of wind.  I wince and lean into James.  The power flickers.  “Hold on Castor.  Let’s see if the genny is going to kick in.”  The lights flicker again - then go out.  About 45 seconds later, they all come back on.  There’s a dull roar from outside.  “Ok.  The genny is on.  Go ahead.”

Restarting the TV, Castor starts the next episode.  James pulls me into a tight hug, “I got you” he whispers to me.  Smiling, breathing a little fast, I lean into his chest. 

Pausing before the fifth episode, it’s the usual bathroom and kitchen runs.  I lean back and look up at James, “How long will the generator run?”

Frowning slightly, “36 to 48 hours.  Depending on how many devices we have running.  The furnace is gas, but the fan is electric.  The biggest draw will be the TV, chest freezer and the fridge.”  He kisses my forehead, “I doubt the power will be out that long.”

Before the sixth episode, it’s a unanimous decision to have more Jambalaya.  CBF pulls the leftovers out and in short order, we are all seated at the kitchen table.  A couple more heavy gusts hit the house.  One of them followed by a loud thud.  I jump.  James kisses my hair, “I should check on that.” 

MBF stands, “I’ll go with you.” 

The rest of us clean up the lunch dishes.

James comes back in the house after being outside for a time, “Hey Castor, where are the keys for the rental van?”

“Uhm, by the front door.”  Castor follows his Dad and I follow Castor.  “Everything ok Dad?”

Nodding, “The van is fine, but that old oak dropped a branch.  I’m going to move the van just to be on the safe side.”

“Is that side drive slick?” Castor asks.

“A little.”

“Let me grab my coat.  It might need a shove.”

James back tracks into the kitchen, stopping to give me a reassuring kiss.  He smells of fuel.  Then he, MBF and Castor go out the side door by the kitchen.  I see the two younger men walking beside the van, hands on it, with James in the driver’s seat.  He slowly moves it up into the small, protected area in front of the side door.  The three stomp the snow off their boots before coming in the door.

“Thought we couldn’t park there, Dad” Cali teases.

“Hey, my house, my credit card on the rental van” James grins at his daughter.

Holding her hands up, “I concede the point!” she laughs.

The two boys put their coats on the coat rack by that door.  James takes his into the garage.  I stand at the end of the hallway waiting for him.  “I topped off the fuel in the genny” he smiles at me.  “Diesel fuel stinks” he grins at me before kissing me gently.  He stops in the kitchen to wash his hands.  Several times.  He just grins at me.  Another powerful gust hits the house.  I shiver.  James pulls me into a hug, one arm around my waist, the other tenderly cupping my head.  I wrap both my arms around his waist.  Gently easing his hold on me, “You ok?”  I heave a sigh and smile at him, nodding.  We all make our way back to the media room. 

Castor stands and stretches before the last episode.  “Who’s up for some snacks?” he grins.  Again, we all head into the kitchen.  Some popcorn is made.  James, MBF and I make sandwiches from the last of the roast beef.  Cali heats up some rice and tops it with butter and salt.  Grabbing a couple bags of chips and everyone grabs a Liquid Death can from the fridge, there’s a parade back to the Media Room.  Castor is the last one to enter the media room, carrying one of James’ guitars.  Grinning, “Here Dad, in case you want to play along!”

Laughing with his son, “Thanks, but that’s not my line.  That’s Kirk.”

“No, it’s yours.”

“I do a short solo in the middle.  The lead is all Kirk” James smiles at his boy, taking a bite from his sandwich.

“I thought this was all you.”

“Sorry Castor” James smiles.  “They even cut my solo from the show.  This rendition is all Kirk.”  Seeing the look on his boy’s face, “But I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

Castor, setting the guitar on the counter, “I honestly thought this was all you” he grins at his Dad.

“It’s me in Jungle Cruise” James offers.

“We should watch that next” MBF offers.

“How about we finish this show.  Next time we’ll do a movie marathon” James counters.

“Deal!”

Castor starts the last episode.  Everyone sits up to headbang when Eddie starts playing.  When the lines comes, we all shout “Most Metal ever!” laughing.  I smile at James.  He pulls me into a kiss.  When the episodes ends, Castor flops back on the sofa, arms raised, “We did it!”  There’s general laughter.

“You guys should pack up tonight” I offer.

James nods in agreement, “Excellent idea.  With the winds, you’ll want to leave a little early in case there’s trees on the freeway.”

Looking up at his Dad, “That corner there at Wolcott can be tricky.”  James just nods.

“Ok dorks” Marcella turns to her counterparts, “Let’s bag up.”

Castor powers down the system.  The kids all depart to their rooms.  I gather up the blankets.  James helps me, grabbing his guitar before turning off the lights in the room.  Leaning his guitar against the wall, the blankets get dumped on the floor in front of the washer.  “I’ll get to these when the power’s back” I tell him as he pulls me into a hug, my hands rest on his chest.

He kisses my forehead.  “What about the wind here has you jittery?” his eyes search my face.

“The winds here just sound … savage.”  I pat his chest, “The winds in the city just don’t sound like the winds here.”

Cupping my head into his chest, “I can understand that” as he pulls me in tighter.  I lean my head back looking into his face.  “From the sounds, I think the worst is over” he looks at me a gentle smile on his lips.  Leaving the laundry room and taking my hand, James reaches for his guitar and is almost bowled over by Castor.

“Yikes!”  Castor grabs his Dad.  “You ok?”

“I have enough bruises, thanks son” James teases Castor.

“I was just coming back.  I forgot to put your guitar away.”

James hands the axe to his boy, “Here ya go” he smiles.

Smiling, “Thanks.  I’ll put it back.”  Castor heads up the hallway, “Night Dad.”

“Night Castor” he watches the young man retreating up the hallway.

I rest my hand on his forearm and let it slide into his hand, smiling gently at the megarocksuperstargod dad at my side.   Sighing, he gently squeezes my hand.  Then turning to me with a gentle smile, we walk into the living room.  I see that there are some things the kids have left in the room and start collecting them.  James stops me, makes me set the things down and smiles, “Hey dorks!  Y’all left things in the living room!”  I raise my eyebrows at him.  “What?” he grins.

“So you started the dorks thing?”

“No.  That was actually Lars” he smiles.

Soon all six young people are in the living room collecting their items.  CGF and Marcella do a thorough search of the room as well as the kitchen.  With a “Good night!” they return to their rooms.

James turns off the lights in the living room.  With a sigh, he turns off the tree lights.  The room is very dark indeed.  Draping an arm over my shoulders to my other hip, he leads us to our bedroom – making sure to close the door behind us.  After climbing into bed, he’s fidgety.  I roll over, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like sleeping with the genny running.”  Reaching to my bed side table, I hand him the TV remote.  With concern etched on his face, “Are you sure?”

“Positive” I caress his face.

He sits up against the headboard and turns on the TV.  I completely roll over, putting my head into his lap.  His fingers play with my hair.  I drift to sleep. 

I feel him shift me gently off his lap.  That’s when I realize that the faded roar of the generator is silenced.  James is cold when he curls up against my back.  “All good?” I whisper.

“Yes, other than I’m cold” he snugs up closer.  I pull his arms tighter around me.

Sleep grabs us both.

[pinkfey]

how you see yourself ｡*.♡

i was tagged by the beloved @rosenfey to do this cute lil meme; tysm ambie!! mwah!! i’m self conscious right now so i’m just going to tag anyone and everyone who sees this!! do it RIGHT NEOW >:3

character ➳ this is well known, but i've felt a profound connection to padmé since i was a child. it's not out of relatability, though, it’s from a deep understanding. (LET THE RECORD SHOW I JUST DELETED A BIG ASS RANT RATTLING OFF THE THINGS I LOVE ABT HER CHARACTER BC IT GOT SO LONG I WOULD’VE NEEDED A READ MORE 😭). i just.. i love her!! i love her. i love her and i’m the only one who gets her.

style ➳ no one is a monolith, but i do gravitate towards softer, more feminine looks. many dresses and skirts in my wardrobe :3 though it is ofc not limited to just that

object ➳ so, earrings are perhaps an odd choice here, but i wanted something to represent my clutter bug!! i love collecting little bits of miscellany, earrings included (and these are very my style; i adore pearls and cute “busy” looking items), because i’m a purveyor of all things meant to make my heart glow a little softer <3

place ➳ i'm a cali baby until i die. i struggled to pick one sole place, so i chose the whole state because it truly is so important to me. it's not just sf and the bay area (my home), but the redwood forests to the east and the beach towns down south and wine country to the north. california's pre and post-colonial history is rich and vast and bits of its geographical beauty have survived in incredible ways. and, despite all of the flaws of this godforsaken state, the cultures here have worth. there are merits and there are good people, you just have to care, and because of that, i don’t think i’ll ever want leave. i don't jump ship because work is simply hard; i want california to be what i know it can be.

animal ➳ otters are my favorite animal, we know this, but too many people have affirmed me as a cocker spaniel/cavalier spaniel over the years, so i had to include it. i think it's the hair texture and general air of prancing about?? i am simply a little lady idk what to tell u!!

song ➳ i chose i'm your man by mitski,,,, 👀👀 i'm in the song, just not as singer’s the point of view, if you catch my meaning. men ruined my life but whatever.

job ➳ though office and archival work is my calling (i was born to organize and file and push trolleys of books and boxes and sit on the computer and be a little secretary), part of me will always feel that being a childcare worker is integral to who i am. i mean, i did it for so many years i loved teaching, i loved nannying, i loved early childhood education studies. i loved being miss jasmine :]

food ➳ burritos are my favorite food ever, but i chose the petit fours because, well, it's me!! it feels like me!! little cakes served on dainty platters accompanied by a sweet drink?? bite sized flavors of rose or chocolate or matcha or vanilla or lavender or raspberry and and and???? exactly. teensy and sweet and delicate and perfect.

color ➳ pink, forever and always. the pink i used for this edit is more vibrant than my favorite shade of pink (blush), but pink is pink so i'm okay with it <33

[cokowiii]

(Wraps Mikey up in his own cloak like a burrito and holds him to Cali to make him say it)

Homie is CRUMBLING

[thechaotictheoryy]

Unravel | 11. Unfit To Be Your Lover

summary: What if you had chains around your heart but you were the one who put them there? If you took a look at Parker’s heart, you would see a nice beating heart but Parker felt there were heavy metal chains wrapped it. After years of a disconnected relationship with her parents and a hard break up with her boyfriend of four years, Parker Williams made her heart mentally chained. Declaring to never fall in love again but what happens when she meets a witty musician who is all about seeking love?

pairing: main character x Hongjoong ft. ex! Yeosang

genre: (18+ minors dni), romance, fluff, lots of angst, coming to age, college au, smut, strangers to lovers, self discovery

word count: 4,439

chapter warnings: Parker in her feelings, cussing, Soojin being a weird bitch (you can tell I clearly don't like her), overthinking

song rec for this chapter: Pluto by Xdinary Heroes

Two months later. 

Wednesday March 2nd, 2022. 

“Parker, throw me a roller,” my classmate Ethan said. 

“Your legs don’t work,” I teased. 

“You’re right next to the cabinets,” he said, pretending to chuck a palette at me. 

I stuck out my tongue and walked to the cabinet. I grabbed a roller and threw it to him, luckily he caught it even though my pass was terrible. The class was currently working on our competition pieces for the second round. Mr. Cook had gone to a department meeting and would be back before time for class was over.  Every spring, the art department has a contest for the top three painters and sculptors. Making in the top three was important because if you won second and third, your work would be placed in the school gallery for six months in the school gallery but first place, your work would be placed in the LAMC for six months then moved to The Metropolitan Museum Art in NYC for another six months. I won second place last year but only made it in the top six my freshmen year.. I wanted to be number one this year. 

This year I was heading a different route, this would be my first year doing sculpting. Of course, I have taken two courses on it so far and did a little amateur piece but this would be my first big sculpture that I make myself. I was a bit nervous but the nervousness made my drive to do amazing better. Sarah offered to partner up for it because sculpting was her strength but I wanted to do this on my own. The first round, I made a small sculpture of a bird holding a hand in his mouth with a crushed heart. I made it into the top fifteen. This round they were cutting it down to six people. I had to make this sculpture for round two much bigger and better. I also have a midterm painting that was due at the end of the semester which I was in class for now. I wasn’t bothered by having a lot on my plate because it was like this the past two springs that I've been here. 

“Knock knock,” we heard someone say. 

I saw Joong and smiled a little. He smiled back and held up a bag, while walking my way. 

“Chicken burrito with extra salsa in the bag” 

“I hope you aren’t late to class,” I took the bag and raised my eyebrow at him.  

“Later,” he laughed and walked out the room, closing the door.

“Ohh, Parker got a boyfriend,” Mark teased. 

“Just a friend,” I took the burrito out the bag and took a bite out of it.

“Yeah yeah,” Sarah stuck her tongue out. 

I rolled my eyes playfully and continued to paint with my free hand. 

I took a vow to distance myself from Hongjoong and I have been failing miserably. Honestly, we got closer when he landed back in Cali. The kissing and holding hands has stopped mostly due to me. That’s a promise I did keep to myself, I didn’t want to keep making our feelings go into this any deeper than they have. I don’t know if it’s working but I've been trying my best not to think about him everyday like I was doing. 

 I feel like that’s why I entered this competition again. 

I had thoughts of not doing it and sitting back to watch my classmates succeed but my mind was just suffocating with thoughts of her and wanting to be with her that I needed to make myself busy. I have been a little distant while trying to do these projects but Hongjoong is such an understanding person, it really is a new feeling to me. I’m so used to someone wanting my attention all the time and just wanting me to focus on them. The fact he allows me to have space and doesn’t mind if I don’t talk to him  every second of the day, it makes me feel very relaxed. 

I bit into my burrito again and looked out the window. It was a pretty day in LA as usual though, the birds somewhat felt louder in a way. I would think about Seattle a lot. I know the city is probably covered in snow right now and the scenery is probably unimaginable. It snows in Philly, but something about the way it looks in Washington State just makes it comforting. Maybe because it was in a place I wasn’t familiar with and I wanted to visit the place again. Words from Hongjoong’s father still haunt me a little bit. I did need to tell him about the move to Seoul and how I’ll probably never live in America ever again if my career really blossomed over there. Even though he was very understanding, having someone move across the country that you possibly wanted to pursue can be a little different. 

I felt a pencil hit the side of my head and I turned to see Sarah looking at me. 

“Get back to work lover girl”

“Here you go,” I laughed, picking up the pencil and throwing it back at her. 

“Seeing him has thrown you off from your work” She walked over. 

“Not even, I’m just eating and enjoying the vibes”

“Parker when I bring food or anyone else, you always eat while finishing up”

“Breaks are a thing Sarah”

“You’re so in denial, it’s honestly insane.” She laughed and walked back to her seat. In denial? I don’t think I was in denial about anything. I simply was taking a break while I finished my food. 

I took the last bite of my food and stretched. I walked back over to my canvas and started to work on the background of it. I was kind of free painting, I had no idea what my midterm was going to be. I honestly was painting different pieces, just in case I just had to end up submitting something random. That isn’t like me at all and Mr. Cook can tell there is no feeling in what you make. I love that about him but when it comes to grading, I absolutely despise that side of him. He hated lazy work and it’s understandable, Mr. Cook had been an artist for over thirty years and teaching for about ten. I knew if he saw some of my canvas right now, he would laugh in my face while also scolding me right after. He’s such a weird emotional human being but I envy him for that. I envy anyone who had somewhat of a control of their emotions or how they felt.Speaking of the devil, he just walked back in and what’s the first thing he decides to.. 

Observe and walk around. Curse you. 

He finally gets to me and pauses. I mentally sigh and put down my paintbrush. I look at him and he’s already looking at me. 

“Look–”

“Parker, this is like bottom tier of what you normally do” 

“Kind of having a burnout”

“Or a love distraction,” I heard Mark whisper. I turned and glared at him then gave my attention back to Mr. Cook. 

“Who is she or he?” 

“No one,” I rubbed my neck and picked back up my paintbrush. 

“I won’t push but don’t let this person distract you from your purpose. You’re making a big move next year and you already know I have high expectations of you but someone else will have higher when you go out there”

“I know,” I groaned a little. This was kind of embarrassing, I know everyone was tuning us due to the amount of pencil erasing and paintbrushes moving on the canvas. It still made me feel a little uncomfortable because he was in father creative mode. 

“Now, don’t rush. You have time to create but doing these multiple canvases with meaningless details will not help you come up with something better. Go off campus sometimes and explore.” He said before walking back to his desk. 

I rubbed my eyes and threw my paintbrush in the bucket. I stormed out of the room, not even taking off my apron. I heard some of my classmates calling me but I just needed some fresh air. I walked up the four flights of stairs that were in our department till I got to the roof. I opened the door and quietly closed it behind me, it was some other students up here. I found an open space and sat down against the wall. I was so frustrated, I was more upset at the fact that Mr. Cook was right. I know he wants me to do my best but it can be a bit overwhelming when he applies all that pressure on me at one time. I took a few deep breaths and admired the view of the campus. 

“Parker?”

I looked up and saw…ah I can’t remember her name. 

“Soojin, I came and got some paint from the classroom last semester” 

Ah, I remember her now and her sinister type of energy. I didn’t feel it together though, maybe she was going through something when I felt it the first time. It made me feel super uneasy about her but now she has a regular aura. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing but just a plain aura. 

“Oh hey” 

“What brings you up here?” She sat down beside me, leaving space. 

Yeah, you’re more than welcome to sit down. 

“I needed to clear my head, it was getting a little–”

“Suffocating”

I stared at her for a second before blinking twice and looking away. 

“Yeah” 

“I understand that feeling” 

“Mm, every artist does once and a while” I feel it all the time though. 

“Just depends on the artist. Suffocation can be good sometimes” 

“So you like being suffocated by your feelings and just the overpowering of your emotions trying to trap you” 

“It makes me know I can feel something once and a while” 

Who was this girl? Those greenish gray eyes frighten me but kind of made me want to talk to her more. Was she attractive? Yes but was I attracted to her in that way? Mm maybe sexually because she is pretty as hell but not romantically. I wanted her in a friendly way like she just seemed like someone who didn’t mind digging and I don’t like people that dig but that’s what made me interested in her. How far would she dig? 

“Do I scare you Parker?” She smiled. 

“Not necessarily, you just make me a little anxious” 

“Anxious?”

“As in, I don’t know what’s going to come out your mouth” 

“Is that a bad thing?” 

“Not bad but not exactly good either” 

“You scare me Parker” She looked out into the campus and moved, her now honey blonde straight hair, out her face. How did I scare her? This was the second conversation we ever had, the first time we spoke was barely a conversation honestly. 

“Why?”

“You’re a bomb, I can tell” 

“A bomb?”

“Nuclear, to be exact” 

“I’m not understanding” 

She looked at me and moved closer, her mouth near my ear. I kind of flinched just because I didn’t know her really and she was making me nervous. 

“One day, you’re going to explode and wipe out everything in your path,” She whispered, dragging her finger up my arm painfully slow. 

I looked at her and she smirked, standing up in front of me. I looked at her with my eyebrow raised. Is it me or is she a little insane? I don’t know what her words meant but I feel like she’s been watching me and that makes me a little scared. Did she know something I didn’t? What kind of sci-fi bullshit was she on? 

“Yeah, you scare me now” I stood up. 

“I was just messing around with you, Parker. Remember you don’t know what is going to come out my mouth” she laughed. 

I awkwardly laughed and checked my watch. Shit, I didn’t know I had been out here for twenty minutes. Mr. Cook is definitely going to get on my ass. 

“This was… something but I have to go”

I caught myself from bowing, which was a habit I picked up from Korea. So I have been catching myself ever since I got back last year. I settled for a slight wave and made my way downstairs. I don’t know if I will ever go up there to get fresh again. Soojin was a little…not right in the head, that’s probably the nicest way I could put it. I wanted to try to be friends but after that, I don’t think so really. Her sinister energy started to push through after she whispered in my ear. It made me want to sink into her but also run away from her. 

Parker, are you really thinking about her in that way right now? I haven’t had sex in a few months, I think my mind is going crazy.

I walked into the classroom as I tried to calm down my dirty thoughts about pushing Soojin into my bedroom and doing terrible things to her. I saw that only two of my classmates were still here, trying to finish up some details. Mr. Cook was sitting at his desk on his computer, typing away. I walked over slowly and sat in the chair next to him. 

“Are you cooled down now?” He said, still typing. 

“Yeah” I folded my arms. 

“Parker, you know I don’t say things to upset you” 

“I know, you just want the best for me and I appreciate it” 

I saw him smile and put up his fist. I rolled my eyes playfully and bumped it with my mind. I loved our relationship and I’ll never take it for granted. Never. 

“Some guy came looking for you”

“What does he look like?”

“He has split dye hair”

“Mm Hongjoong, where did he go?” 

“He said if you come by to tell you, he’ll be in the library if you want to him there” 

I nodded and walked to my station. I took off my apron and started to pack up. I put my canvas in the back and put my palettes inside my desk. 

“Is that the person your classmates were talking about?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” I put on my jacket and grabbed my bag, heading for the door. 

“Make sure you’re on time tomorrow Parker”

I threw up the deuces and started to make my way to the library. Maybe I should stop by starbucks to get him some tea and cream cheese danish. I personally think they are disgusting but he will destroy one in about ten seconds. I smiled thinking about the look on his face when I walked in with his favorite snack food. 

Ah.. Kim Hongjoong, you got me hooked on you. 

I made a stop at Starbucks then proceeded to the library. I spoke to a few people on the way, most of them being art students. Everyone was so stressed about the competition that they were telling me they were pulling all nighters to brainstorm for the second round. I don’t know if it was a confidence thing but I definitely haven’t pulled an all nighter yet due to this. If I make it to the last round that is probably when it will break me and evil Parker will start to terrorize herself. 

I walked into the library and started to search for Joong. I found him in the back with his nose in a book. I smiled and walked over, sitting beside him. He made eye contact with me and he provided me with the biggest smile. I handed him the tea and the brown bag. 

“I know this isn’t” He looked at me with wide eyes. 

“The last one they had for tonight” I took off my jacket.

“Bless your soul,” He bit into the danish. 

I smiled and pulled out my drawing pad along with my pencil box. I needed to think about what I was going to do for my midterm while needing to sketch out what I wanted my next sculpture to look like. Being a creative was nerve wracking sometimes, just always thinking about what you could do differently is frustrating. I don’t want to be a repetitive artist or just keep repeating the same concepts. I needed something fresh and something that no one would think of. 

“You’re overthinking love,” I heard him say. 

“It’s so hard to think when you’re under pressure” 

“I understand that, my music production class has been a pain in my ass” 

“There’s a course of that” 

“Yeah, it’s a two part course. I take class course two in the fall”

“Are you having trouble now?”

“No, not really. Our final is a song, I already planned it out. Just got to find the right words to put it together now”

I wasn’t even surprised at him, Joong was quick on his feet. He always had a plan for her pieces, he let me listen to some of his past assignments and I was just amazed at him. I wish I could think fast and know what I wanted to do next but every artist doesn’t have power sadly. I was unfortunately in the percentage who took a long time or had to have something traumatic happen for me to know what to do next. I looked at her as he typed away on her laptop. He looks so in the zone, I know whatever he’s writing about is going to be amazing just the others. 

“Joong” 

“Mm?”

“Can we go to the beach this weekend?”

“In March?” He looked over at me. 

“I know it’s a little chilly but I need to go somewhere I don’t go to often” 

He started to tap his head. She does that whenever she’s thinking. 

“Oo, how about the aquarium?” 

“I never been” 

His mouth dropped. 

“Parker, are you fucking serious?”

“No cap detected over here” 

“Oh yeah, we’re going”

I saw him open a different browser and type in California aquariums. I laughed a little at his face, he had a look of playful disgust. I didn’t know it was offensive to never go see the imprisonment of sea animals. 

“Here we go. Since you said new scenery” He turned the laptop towards me. 

My eyes widened as I saw Monterey Bay Aquarium, that’s about five hours from here. Does that mean she wants to do something like an overnight trip? 

An overnight trip with Hongjoong. God, please pray for my hormones. 

“Joong” 

“Before you say anything, I’m aware it’s five hours away and if you’re uncomfortable with being with me alone you can ask your roommates if they want to come”

I’m afraid you’ll be uncomfortable with me Hongjoong, not the other way around. 

“It’s not that, I just didn’t expect you to go so far with just me” 

“Parker, you hopped on a plane to come spend the holidays with me and my family. I think I owe you one” 

“Not really” 

“Do you not want to go?” 

“I do” 

“Then stop with the excuses” He smiled and started to buy the tickets. 

I blushed and started to do some random drawings. He was going to be the death of me and the cause was going to be heart expulsion through mental chains. I got out of my thoughts when I felt the cream from the danish on my cheek. 

“I know you just didn’t” 

“You start drowning in your own head when you aren’t talking sometimes,” He took a napkin from the bag and wiped my cheek. 

“Do you want my attention Mr. Kim?” I rested my chin in my propped up hand. 

His cheeks suddenly started to turn a light pink. He looked away, rubbing his neck. It was nice to know I could make him blush so easily. It was easy for him to make my heart race against these chains. The feeling irritated me to the fullest but I tried to let it go because it was him. 

“I’m going to check out a book, b-be right back” 

He got up and started to walk to the isle of sci-fi romance books. I smiled a little at him and continued to draw. That was the first time I ever heard him stutter, I wanted to make him stutter more. I looked at what I was drawing and it looked like Hongjoong’s eyes. I let out a heavy sigh and rubbed my eyes. This is what I meant, when I was around him I started to be fixated on hi,. I don’t have a feeling of regret but how was I supposed to keep my distance on the trip? It wouldn’t be the first time we slept in the same bed because we shared his bed when I was in Seattle but his parents were there so I knew nothing would happen. This would be different though. It would just be us two…alone in a hotel room. The things that ran through my head were very unholy and his parents were to crack it up, they would scold for the bad things I want to do to their son. 

I looked up and saw him talking in depth and laughing with the student who was working at the desk. I could tell by her face that it was captivating with how handsome Joong was and I know that she is spitting every corny pick up line to keep him there. I smiled a little, sketching some more on my pad. It didn’t matter how I felt about other people talking to him. I knew me and him would probably never succeed in being together. I was very unfit. 

Unfit to be his lover. 

The way I wanted my life to be, being in love was the last thing on my list and my list was pretty big of things I wanted to achieve. I know some would say “you can accomplish it with your partner” but I personally couldn’t do that. Just looking back on my relationship with Yeosang, I was consumed by him. He was all I wanted and more, I was very much willing to push everything back for him. I didn’t want to do that to myself again. I didn’t want to see myself go down that road again. Hongjoong deserves someone who would give their all without thinking twice, I wasn’t that person. I would self sabotage myself to make him not want me or question why he wanted to be with me in the first place. He didn’t deserve the mind games because his mind was beautiful and strong but his feelings were sensitive. 

I felt something poke in my ear and I jumped. I looked and Hongjoong was laughing at me. 

“You were so deep in thought, you didn’t notice me come back” 

“I was thinking about something”

“You’re always thinking about something Parker,” he smiled, opening the book. 

“Is it a bad thing?” 

“I didn’t say that” 

I stared at him a little and he looked at me. He raised his hand, bringing it close to my face. I flinched a little as it landed on my cheek. He rubbed it a little then pulled it. 

“You have such a staring problem Ms. Williams” 

“You don’t seem to mind it Mr. Kim” Parker you’re such a flirt, it’s honestly insane at this point. He blushed a little, pulling his hand back. 

“You probably had no problem getting numbers growing up” 

“What makes you say that?”

“Your face when you flirt is very…I don’t know it’s like you can put people in a trace” 

“I’ve heard that before but I didn’t understand it”

“Well whoever your ex is, they are dumb for leaving you” 

I looked down and frowned a little. I wish I was ready to tell him about Yeosang but I haven’t been able to explain to anyone that situation without crying my eyes out. 

“I’m sorry Parker, I didn’t–”

“It’s fine, I just wish I could talk about it without getting upset” 

“No rush, you can talk to me about it when you’re ready”

I…I just never met someone who tries to understand me like you do. Why are you patient with me? Why don’t you push me to open up to you? Why aren’t you trying to rip my heart out so it exposes all of what makes me into the person I am? 

“Thank you for understanding”

“Trauma is a real thing and hard to open back up, of course I understand” 

I nodded and continued to draw random things as he went back to studying. We spent another two hours in the library and even ate there. I ran to get us food from the subway that was in the cafe. I have never spent this long in the library since I've been on this campus. I didn’t realize how comforting it was but considering I’m in my major, there was no need to come here when I had the studio. If Joong ever wanted me to come back with him… I wouldn’t mind it. 

After packing up our stuff, we headed out the front doors and we walked to the middle of campus. Our dorms were in the opposite directions from each other so this was the closest we could walk to each other. 

“Please get some sleep Parker, don’t be up all night trying to create”

“I can’t make any promises but I will try” 

“That’s all I want you to do is try,” he smiled. 

He stretched out his arms and I walked forward to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist. His head rested on top of mine and I tightened the hug a little. Friends don’t hug this long, do they? We pulled away slightly and I pressed my forehead on his, sighing. 

“Hongjoong”

“I know” 

He pulled away and smiled at me. His smiles are always so warm and I could never get tired taking them in. He waved and started to walk away, I waved back heading the other direction. 

I should have kissed him, even though it would be wrong and I would probably send myself into an emotional spiral thinking about his lips on mine the whole night..

I really should’ve kissed him and dealt with the consequences to suffocate me later. 

taglist: @hwaslayer

[crowcaws]

if that sexy vampire can hear your heartbeat he can also hear the cali burrito you ate half an hour ago tokyo drifting through your intestines at mach speed

[catgirltitties]

wait wheres that post about foods you can never eat again i forgot to mention the del taco beyond cali burrito

[samkerrworshipper]

gorged myself on gyg tonight

couldn’t decide between a burrito or a burrito bowl so I got both lol

got a mini cali and then ate like half the bowl but saved the rest for lunch tomorrow

eating gyg makes me so satisfied

FINALLY GOT GYG

got my usual burrito and i’ve never been happier