#cait may I love your art so much it’s so amazing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

outroshooky · 5 years ago

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waiting for the sky to fall | jjk

⇢ genre: series; part one (i-saw-you-on-the-subway-every morning-this-week-and-i’m-possibly-in-love-with-you!au) (fluff)

⇢ pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

⇢ word count: 6.3k

⇢ warnings: brief instance of anxiety; probably too much rambling about how pretty jeongguk is when he exists like that

⇢ a/n: a dearest birthday present for the love of my life and platonic soulmate @guksheart. cait, i cannot believe we have been a part of each other’s lives for over a year now. i adore you so so much and i am so proud of the bold, compassionate, wonderfully gay, fierce yet gentle, considerate, accepting, lovely woman that you are. i would not trade our sisterhood for the world, and i still cannot believe that you are coming to new york in a mere matter of months. i can only hope that we’ll have adventures like this one when you do.

this is heavily inspired by the commute i took to visit my friend in the city over the summer!! kudos to columbia university for loaning me some much-needed inspiration, although i never fell in love with anybody on the way there.

part one of the verses and vibes series. part two will be uploaded on december 20, 2019.

“bright star, would i were stedfast as thou art— �� not in lone splendour hung aloft the night and watching, with eternal lids apart, like nature’s patient, sleepless eremite,”

⤷ “bright star, would i were stedfast as thou art”; john keats

10:57pm.

Call it 11, it’s close enough.

Eleven o’clock in the evening.

A sacred time, those great appreciators of the universe would say. It is amazing how, as the wind caresses your hair with breezy fingers, there are some who walk the city streets below without pause. Some who cannot understand the sanctity of such a time, the security that comes with the blanket of nightfall— if you could call it nightfall in the heart of such a metropolis.

Below you beats a rhythm akin to the one in your soul, beneath the skin of your merely human chest. A home you’d heard so much about, fallen in love with before you’d even met, and god it couldn’t have felt more right. Over the edge of the balcony is utter chaos: taxi cabs honk an irregular staccato, the open! sign of the ramen shop one block over flickers its own neon melody. People shout, brakes screech, doors bang, dogs bark; to anybody else, it would be utter madness but to you- to you, it is simply home.

The ambient light mutes the glow of so many stars that pinprick the sky millions of miles above, arcing across the heavens in so many celestial designs. If you squint, you can pick out Casseopia, maybe even Ursa Major through the dim haze. The stars are far and few between, but it’s a quick glance to your left and right and you’re surrounded by majestic masterpieces, this time of a manmade design.

When you were younger, you used to muse that skyscrapers not only scraped the bright blue sky so far above, but supported the very cosmos itself with the slight curve in their arching backs. They bore the weight of the world, shouldering the immense task of keeping the stratosphere aloft. For a skyscraper to crumble was for the sky to fall, and yet you’d never seen one even waver in the wind.

Later, of course, you would learn that this was not the case. Earth herself kept the stratosphere in good health, and those wonderfully tall buildings existed as testaments to man’s great ability. However, there was a quiet part of you that still entertained the fantasy (as all of us do, in one way or another). And why not? It's moments like this, where you are surrounded by the dizzying breadth of the world out there and you can taste the sweetness of the universe’s ambrosia, that have you thinking twice about it all. Who says that we can't hold up the sky? Who says we don't spend our lives wondering, even if just a little bit, when the pillars will collapse and the sky itself will cave in one shuddering breath? Who decides when the Sun will burn, the Moon will freeze, when life as we know it tumbles to ash and dust?

“Baby?” His fingers interlock over yours, warm against the cool of the balcony railing. “Everything okay?”

His chest is warm against your back, grounding in its familiarity. You could name the planes and angles of his body like you could name the asterisms that freckle the night sky. He smells like cucumber soap when you turn and nuzzle into his neck, the damp locks of his hair tickling your forehead. You usually tease him when he’s post-shower like this, the bangs that tumble past his cheekbones giving the impression of a shaggy mop, but you spare him tonight. He squeezes over your hand, palm flush against your knuckles as your cheeks heat against his neck.

“I’m fine,” you murmur. “Just taking a moment.”

Jeongguk tilts his head skyward, but he’s already got the universe in his eyes, wide and fawn. His chest rumbles when he speaks, soft velvet, a little gritty. “It's so beautiful out here.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” you raise your head to reply, brushing your nose to the column of his throat.

He’s got good composure but he's blushing now, between the lateness of the hour and the softness of your skin. He may smell of Dove and there’s a pimple dotting his cheek, but you’re stunning in the light and there’s a faint air of something sweet; if it’s your skin or your soul, he can’t decide. Perhaps both but he can’t help himself; his lips find your forehead and your eyes flutter shut. Contentment so simple, so lovely.

His arm slides around your shoulders and the way you fit into his side is divine insistence. The other half you never knew you had, and yet at one time, it wasn’t this way. Hard to believe, but that’s the reality of it, and you never even knew he filled a gap in your heart until the deed was done, and there was nothing you could do to unplug the hole.

He kisses your temple and you kiss his shoulder, exposed by the dip of his t-shirt. “Come to bed, baby.”

“But it’s so nice out here,” you whine.

“It’s late and you have class in the morning,” he coaxes quietly, his accented English gentle in your ears. “Come on.” His fingers slip from your own and you sigh, giving in.

“But you have to carry me inside.”

His eyes roll but he’s already stooping, and when he scoops you into his arms to press a kiss to your nose- he just can’t help himself- you poke his cheek and he grins a smile as warm as the lazy afternoon sun. “I love you.”

“I love you twice that amount.”

Jeongguk takes the balcony in stride, nudges the sliding door open with his foot. “Yeah, well I love you fifty times that amount. Squared.”

He kicks it closed behind him as you raise an eyebrow. “Cheater.”

“I’ll throw you on the bed, swear to god.”

“You’re mean,” You retort.

“No I’m not.” He turns the light off on his way in, bumps the bedroom door shut with his impossibly slender hip. “I’ll be the big spoon if you take that back.”

Bedsheets under your fingertips. “Fine.”

It is hard to believe that, merely a year ago, you would be coming inside to an empty bed. Merely a year ago, your world would be silent, save the busy hum outside your apartment windows. Merely a year ago, you hadn’t a clue that your world was about to turn upside down, flipped on its axis and spun into chaos in ways you’d never even considered possible. Merely a year, but a lifetime spent sitting, waiting, wishing- twiddling your thumbs, chewing on your fingernails, anxiously hoping for something, anything.

And that’s when, exactly three-hundred and sixty-four days ago, the columns gave out in a rush of dust, the cosmos itself unraveling at the seams of early morning.

Momentary silence, a stifled yawn. “Come cuddle.”

A sleepy, breathy, near-whisper. “Will you be the big spoon?”

Jeongguk chuckles, breath soft. “Always, baby girl. Always.”

one year before

There’s no better alarm clock than a caramel macchiato, sipped through tired lips and bleary eyes on the chaos of a Monday morning in the subway. You are far from a morning person, as evidenced by the death grip on your Starbucks cup, but you feel just a little more human with the help of four espresso shots and a pump of hazelnut. Having an off-campus apartment means it’s a roughly twenty minute subway ride between home and school, but you can’t find it in yourself to care, not when there’s not much of a difference between the two.

To be frank, the city is home- a comfort you never expected, the subject of a thousand love letters never to be written but in the deepest cavities of your soul. The grime of the sidewalks, the gritty rumbling of the subways, artful graffiti and corner bubble tea and a little bit of pride, thrumming in the deepest recesses of necessity. The city in which you grew up is merely a square foot to the square acres that are your romping ground now.

The wires of your headphones snake around your scarf, bundled up around your shoulders. It is that wonderful time before fall bleeds over completely into winter, a lingering cool breath, and arguably the best season of all. Thus, you are perfectly comfortable underneath a warm jacket, backpack slung across your shoulder as you swipe your card, pass through the turnstiles and on to the waiting train just across the platform.

The subway car rattles beneath you with a groan, darkness rushing past in so many variants of orange from the neon lights that dotted the tunnels. Around you, bodies press tight on the morning commuter train; in any other circumstance, it would make you anxious, but there’s an odd feeling of security it grants. The train slows, pulling into the next station, and you focus your attention on the page of Madeline Miller’s latest bestseller.

At the next station, the car decompresses as travelers shift, and you are left a moment to breathe before the train will inevitably fill again, two stops from now. Next to you, a purple jacket brushes your shoulder. Just above the top of your book, a pair of black Timberlands pauses before turning towards you and settling.

There really is no reason at all why these Timberlands would be special. There's no reason at all why your eyes find it necessary to track upwards, no reason why you should have glanced up from your delightful novel for the sake of one commuter’s settling. No reason at all why, as your eyes followed skinny jean-clad thighs to a leather jacket, and further, further.

His caramel-streaked hair brushes his cheekbones, styled in a way you’d typically call bedhead, but on him looks like art. His brow is soft yet defined, much like his jawline, cutting narrow. His lips are perfectly pink, a gentle pout, and his graceful nose a button. His shoulders are broad, the taper of his waist impossibly slender but hidden under the folds of his ridiculously oversized t-shirt.

And his eyes- his eyes.

You have poured over literature for hours upon hours, soaking in poetry and epics and novels alike, yet you have never understood what the poets meant until this very moment.

His eyes are the café au lait you sip on sunny afternoons, the sweetness of a chocolate bar, the warmth of a woolen blanket in wintertime. They glint with the light of a thousand stars but shine with the depth of a thousand galaxies, each and every one a testament to the great work of the universe. It is as if he holds the very cosmos in his pupils, and your breath is stolen from your lungs without a second thought.

He is stunningly beautiful but goes completely unnoticed by everyone else in the car, it seems, as the train picks up speed. There is no greater punishment than tearing your gaze away from him when you realize you've been staring too long to be socially acceptable. You force yourself to return back to your novel but end up reading the same line five times over, too distracted by the shift of his heels, the way he toys with the straps of his rucksack.

Part of you aches every time the train car fills, obscuring your view of the handsome stranger. Each time, you’re left wondering if he's moved, but each time, the crowds part to find him still seated on the garish plastic bench, glued to his iPhone. Your stop is the next and you can't help but feel anxious about getting up, about turning face and walking out of the train car. Your heart rattles an irregular tempo as you snap your book shut (still on the same page as twenty minutes ago), gather your things, and carefully stand amid the gently rocking car. He doesn't even look up at your sudden movement, and there's a part of you that is somehow irrationally crushed.

The train grinds to a halt and the doors slide open, and you spare one last longing look before striding across the grimy tile, minding the gap between the train and the platform. Foolish of you to want to stop your day for the sake of an attractive stranger. Foolish of you to think his day would stop, either.

With a muffled curse behind you, footsteps thud and voices grumble as a mop-haired boy with a rucksack on his shoulder bursts his way out of the train car, having nearly forgotten that this is his stop, too. When something brushes your arm as you jog up the stairs, you nearly drop your Starbucks with the realization that he is unintentionally keeping pace with you across the stairwell, lost behind the curtain of his fawn locks.

Anxiety melts to curiosity as you weave through the station, matching pace all the while as you’re spit out onto the street from underground and walk the mere half block to your university gates. He hesitates under them, a touch of nerves, but shakes his head and continues on under the tree-covered path of the quad. You lose him somewhere by the Economics building, heading towards the library as you turn towards Hamilton Hall, but the excited thrill in your veins outweighs any and all disappointment.

You're practically glowing during 8am lecture, dancing on air through your lunch break when you think you spot him across the dining hall, but in fact it's just that guy from your math gen-ed. You’d never admit to a stranger consuming your thoughts, but here’s a nagging feeling at the back of your skull as you zip up your bag at the end of your day and head towards the corner station.

A typical Monday indeed?

Anything but.

It was certainly unconventional, the way you launched yourself out of bed the next morning in favor of tripping into a pair of jeans and dashing to fix your hair in the bathroom mirror. You haven't put so much effort into getting ready in months, and factoring in time for a dab of makeup left you skipping breakfast in favor of slinging your bag over your shoulder to rush out the door on time.

An iced Americano restores breath to your lungs, but does nothing to soothe the jitter in your bouncing knee as the train doors shut and a voice crackles over the intercom, unintelligible. A chocolate croissant is light on your tongue, memories of the flaky pastry crossing your mind only to be drowned out by thoughts of the next station and the promises it holds.

With no novel in hand, it is easy for your eyes to flick to the crowd as the train slows coming into the station. Effortlessly, you pick him out even with the white mask across the lower half of his face obscuring his nose and mouth. His visage is scrawled, it seems, on the inside of your eyelids; it danced throughout your Human Behaviors class, teased you through the late night of cramming for midterms. You hoped the concealer would cover the dark spots under your eyes, but you couldn't be certain.

As the doors slide open and the crowd surges forward, you lose him for a moment in the streams and flows of people coming and going. He appears just down the car, button-down rolled at the elbows, and even from a distance you feel your cheeks heat as he finds an empty seat just across the aisle.

Yesterday, his jacket hid him to the knuckles under the security of worn leather. But today, pushed sleeves reveal the ink snuggled tight around his wrist, curling its way up his forearm to snake hidden under the folds of the unbuttoned dress shirt he so casually threw over another plain black t-shirt. Sunflowers and daisies and blossoms you can't even name bloom in color across his skin, geometric designs etching sculpture into living marble. He is a magnum opus through and through, bearing so many works of art on the canvas of his flesh.

The white wires of his headphones leave him oblivious to the world, the galaxies in his pupils twinkling under the stark white light. He is wholly unbothered by a group of high school girls tittering to his left, the judging eyes of the older gentleman to his right. He simply exists in all of his beauty, whether the world wishes to love him or not.

And then his eyes find you.

It is only for a moment, but his gaze renders you breathless, mind spinning, pulse racing. He blinks owlishly, staring only for a second, two, but it's long enough to feel your heart ricochet around your chest, caged butterflies in your chest soar against the crest of your ribcage. They dart in tandem, beating their fragile wings with a fluttering pulse; you swear you’re reduced to a mere teenager at the sight of him, and that’s just ridiculous. The train car around you is suspended; it is hard to believe you are breathing the same air merely a few paces away, but you are and it is him and the depth of his soul is staring you blind in the face.

You don’t know him but you know him, all at once. He says a thousand sweet nothings with the shine of the lights in his eyes, promises commandments to keep when his lashes flutter against the apples of his cheeks. He is a complete stranger but somehow, someway, a known companion. His fingers twitch against the fabric of his jeans and you wonder what they would feel like wrapped around yours, memorizing every divot with a careful reverence. How they would brush your hip when he pulls you against his side, how they would pull at you craving more, more, more—

A spice of cologne curls under your nose, a little floral, a little sweet. Perhaps it’s his, the scent that clings to his pillow in the morning and his jacket in the evening. The tap of the woman’s foot to your left is the beat of his footsteps on the creaky apartment floor as he announces he’s home, he’s brought dinner; life is simple and content—

He nods his head to the beat that flows quick through his headphones, eyes shut, in his own world. You can’t help but wonder what it would be like to share on your morning commute, fingers entwined with coffee in one hand but music in your heart—

Bodies around you ebb and flow, but the flurry is nothing compared to the images that swirl in front of you. Tracing his tattoos with the lightest touch, laughing till his nose scrunches at a shitty pun, early kisses and late-night touches. The warmth in his eyes when you do something stupid, the comfort in your arms around his shoulders when he’s doubting himself—

It’s a misplaced elbow to your ribs that jolts you out of reverie as the older gentleman seated next to you creaks to his feet. You wince and open your mouth to complain, but not before taking in the empty seat across the train car, devoid of leather and ink and beauty.

Where did he g—

That’s when the car doors slide shut and you, all too soon, come to a stunning realization:

The handsome stranger whom you have just spent twenty minutes daydreaming about is gone, nowhere to be seen, lost in the crowd of chaos that is the city.

And you have completely missed your stop.

Well, it’s a damn good thing taxi cabs exist.

Your alarm does not go off on Wednesday morning. Perhaps a fatal mistake, because by the time your dreary eyes crack open at the suspicious amount of rest you’re getting for the middle of the week, you are supposed to leave your apartment in eight minutes— shower, breakfast, makeup, and all.

Perhaps there is a god looking out for you after all, because you manage to make it out of the house only two minutes later (although just about all of the above had to wait). Your stomach grumbles as your feet trod down the littered stairs of the station, an insistent reminder that the last meal you had was ten hours ago, and you really need to eat sooner rather than later. No time meant no coffee meant cold hands, an unfortunate consequence, and you’re shivering your way through the turnstiles onto the train as the wind bites cool at the back of your neck.

You’re still drowsy from sleep, a ten page paper having kept you awake, so it is no surprise that you nod off on the train. You’re not sure when your mind clears of soporific fog, but when your eyes flutter open, the one person you’ve been waiting for is seated in front of you with his elbow slung across a backpack next to him, propping up his head as he too drifts off. A raven cloth mask covers his nose and his mouth, his eyelashes brushing the curve of his cheeks, a bit crimson from the chill. A binder slips crooked under his arm, threatening to topple to the floor. Squinting at the train board means you’ve got two stops left and you force yourself upright, rubbing your eyes only to wince at their dryness.

Though your eyes ache and sleep tugs at your bones, he is worth staying awake for as his body sways with the rhythm of the car. Around you, everyone is immersed in their own little slices of the world, completely oblivious to another tired traveler. There’s a scar on his cheek and a tiredness about him, and your heart, two sizes too big, aches for something you don’t quite understand. One station passes without interruption and he is still asleep, draped over his backpack with his notebook slipping further, further.

The train rounds the final bend, brakes screeching as it pulls into the station. The sudden deceleration is enough to send the stranger’s binder, packed with papers, spinning to the floor of the train just as you stand to gather your things. A few index cards here, some loose green and white papers there, and he is somehow still asleep through all of this, surrounded by oblivious minds and occupied hearts.

You have approximately five seconds to make a decision before the train fills with a swell of new passengers.

You don’t have to think when you’ve already made your choice.

Forgoing the cleanliness of your jeans, you stoop to the floor, scrabbling the spilled contents of paper and a pencil and a spare Chapstick into the mouth of the binder. People are already beginning to spill through the door, but you’re pushing your way through without a second glance, feet pounding the steps underneath you. You follow the beam of light that pours underground, cutting corners and rushing staircases until you are facing a narrow city block and the buildings that reach on tiptoe to kiss the heavens. The sun’s caress is warm on your cheeks as you stride through the gates, ever stony in their stoicism, and find a shady bench to sit and organize the mess in your hands.

It is a simple black binder filled to the brim with notebook paper, neat handwritten ideas that dissolve into simplistic sketches and jotted thoughts. You don’t mean to read it, you really don’t, but as you tuck the pencil into the neon green case looped through the rings, a single form catches your eye: an advertisement for the show in the greater library this weekend, set up by the architecture majors showcasing their designs in conjunction with the fine arts students.

He does fine arts? That must be the sketches in these pages. But perhaps it’s a casual hobby for him? Maybe he’s only interested in it and not actually pursuing it as a major. There’s Korean on this too; is he an international student? How long has he been going here? Why isn’t he dorming on campus with the others—

A cough in front of you, and when you glance upward, you nearly choke in surprise.

Hazel shines russet when his eyes catch the light that filters through the trees, twinkling with something unknown when they meet your own. His hair is tucked under a beanie, vivid red against the muddy brown of his oversized sweater. His mask is pulled down to his chin as he fidgets in front of you, twisting his fingers with almost a childlike nervousness. His lips part, plush, a little chapped. “Can I have that?”

His English is sweet, accented on the ears, a softer tone than you’re expecting, but you don’t mind it. Curse your nerves and your sweaty palms! “Oh! Yeah, sure!” You nearly shove the binder at him and he blinks owlishly, taking a moment to examine its contents, making sure nothing is out of place while you ramble on and on. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get it back to you on the train, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to bother you, especially since here that’s typically just not what people do, you know how they are- Oh, your pencils and things are inside the pencil case, I figured they would be too much to try to carry around before I found you, you know? And I didn’t want anything to get lost; I hate when things of mine go missing and I tend to be so scatterbrained.” You chortle nervously as he hugs the binder to his chest.

A small smile blossoms on the stranger’s face and you get the feeling there’s more he wants to say, but doesn’t know how. Instead, he bows graciously, a little pink in the cheeks, and states simply, “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem, really! Don’t worry about it. It’s what I’d want someone to do for me and since I’ve seen you only recently on the morning train, I didn’t quite know if you’re new to campus or you’ve been here a while and just moved or something like that-” He’s still staring, eyes wide, and you realize you’ve been talking for far too long. “But ah, I’m sorry! Continue on, yeah? Have a good day!” You ramble, internally kicking yourself. Damn your loose tongue and damn this man for being so infernally, unfairly attractive.

He blushes even deeper, face flushing crimson, and shoulders his backpack. “You too…?” When he trails off, you realize he’s waiting for your name and nearly trip over your own tongue getting the syllables out. He repeats it once and nods, extending a hand. “My name is Jeongguk.”

The way his fingers brush yours is ingrained in the softness of your skin for the rest of your day, in the touch of cologne that lingers in the autumn air long after he’s gone to class. He is the sweetness of your afternoon Starbucks and the freckles of the night sky, dotted through the ambient fog that settles over the city with all the comfort of a blanket. Somehow, someway, there’s a name to the face.

A very handsome face, to boot.

You wake early that Thursday, early enough that you have time to wrap yourself in the fuzziest blanket you own and pad to the window to gaze out upon the city as it wakes slowly, block by block.

The city is sleepy too, rosy glow hanging lazily over the skyline, reluctant to slip into the brightness of daytime. It slumps against the skyscrapers, vibrant fingers brushing the glass with the softest caresses, whispering sweet nothings to the minds that rest just behind the other side. Perhaps dawn enjoys pampering her city like this, with the kindest affirmations and the prettiest, warmest eyes.

From your apartment window, it is as if first light is melting away, slipping lower and lower as the cracked-egg yolk of the sun leaks over the harbor, spilling over the urban jungle. As you stand, blanket around your shoulders and bathed in the beauty of early morning, a thought strikes you, a minute snippet of profound reality.

It is still on your mind as your feet cross the platform an hour later, effortlessly stepping over the gap into the narrow confines of the train car. It’s busier this morning and thus your usual seat is taken, leaving you to stand and cling for dear life to the pole. A stranger brushes your arm and someone pushes against your backpack, your throat tightening in response. Oh, how you hated busy days. Anxiety blurs your surroundings, swirling in color and breath and heat around you, an unfocused Polaroid. It is blurry and nothing is right, and the doors are opening and closing, opening and closing, and then there’s a new face pressing to your left, and your entire world melts at the very seams.

It is him. Him! He is here and real and in front of you, and has opted to completely ignore his usual (empty) seat in favor of standing with you, a kindly smile gracing the corners of his lips and he ducks his head into your field of view. His eyes flick to yours and the bokeh clears, your heart thrumming happily at the warmth they contain. His fingers grip above your own as he shifts to make sure others can flow around him; you take in that little scar on his cheek, the moles that dot his neck just under the folds of his jacket, the subtle lick of ink that dips into his collarbone. You can just make out the hum that trickles from his headphones over the rattling of the train, a melodic undertone, and his head dips to check his phone.

You’re the one to nudge Jeongguk when it’s your mutual stop, him flinching with surprise when he realizes how fast the ride has gone, and as you follow up through the station, you find that you are no longer trailing him, but instead by his side. He opts to walk next to you; when you tilt your head, asking the silent question, he merely smiles and pushes the pace just a bit. When you’re chasing sunlight on stone, borne out of the street into the mouth of the day, you find yourselves under the university gates, side by side. He takes out his earbuds, fidgeting with the wires as one foot taps the sidewalk. He’s nervous. “I just wanted to say thank you for getting my book yesterday,” he begins. “Properly thank you.”

“It’s nothing, Jeongguk!” You grin, perhaps a little flushed. “Anytime, really.”

Now it’s his turn to redden, shuffling in place. “Ah, is there anything I can do to return the favor?”

“Jeongguk, don’t be silly! Well…” you trail off. “Answer me one question. What’re you majoring in?”

He beams a little at this, glancing at the sidewalk. “I’m studying architecture here for a year; I’m from Seoul. I’m also learning English.” He winces. “Or trying to.”

“Well, I think you’re doing a great job. It’s amazing that you’re learning architecture in an urban environment like this!” You gesture above as a flock of pigeons flutters past. Like a damn Disney film.

His eyes follow the birds as they swoop above the street, ducking under lamps and through scaffolding. “It’s different from Seoul, but also like Seoul. I like it,” he confesses. “I really like the city. Any city is my city, not just Seoul. You know?”

God, he is so cute, it hurts. Hearing him talk is flowers blooming snug in your chest, winding around your nerves, soothing their live-wire ends. You can’t help but smile at him. “I know.”

“I don’t want to keep you too long…” Jeongguk hesitates as the bell in the clocktower resonates down the commons. “Class starts soon.”

You frown. “Too soon. Want to grab lunch over at Fourteenth?”

His brows furrow. “Fourteenth?”

“Fourteenth and Tenth, yeah. There’s a cute little cafe on the corner, great for people watching and Americanos. And bubble tea. There’s ramen a few shops down, too.”

“Ramen!” Jeongguk practically vibrates in excitement. You swear your face will crack from how hard you’re grinning, from shyness or joy or both. His nose scrunches; your stomach flutters. “Can I have your number? Wait, is that too direct? May I have your phone?” He shakes his head but you’re already handing him your device, a new contact at the ready.

“Text me when you get out of class. I’ll show you how real ramen is supposed to taste.”

Jeongguk raises a hand in farewell, slipping his own phone back into his pocket. You’ll never know that he saved your contact under 귀여운 여행자, nor that he suddenly has a reason to stay awake through his 8am.

And when he spots you sitting there under the Alma Mater a few hours later, his heart skips a beat in its chest. His phone vibrates in his hand.

Ready to eat?

He was born ready.

There’s a poetry book you like to read on Friday morning subway rides, one that filters breath into your lungs and stirs the lyrics in your heart. You soak up the comforts of literature with a mocha in the other hand, lo-fi in your ears, and obnoxiously colored plastic supporting your back. How wonderful life could be in all of its simple joys.

There’s warmth at your side in the form of a boy, a boy with the stars in his eyes and the galaxy in his heart who asked if he could sit next to you and with a pounding in your chest, you gladly accepted, moving your bag to your lap and returning to your Keats, singing cants of yearning all these years later.

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night

And watching, with eternal lids apart,

Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,

The moving waters at their priestlike task

Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,

Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask

Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--

No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,

Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,

Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,

Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,

And so live ever--or else swoon to dea—

A note is tucked into your open page, a folded piece of cream-white paper, smooth at the edges, unwrinkled. You glance up at him to find his gaze steadily fixed on a grayed gum stain, knee jumping up and down, up and down as he fingers the rip in his frayed jeans. You unfold the paper slowly, carefully.

Are you busy on Sunday afternoon? Because I’d really like to take you to an art exhibition on campus, and I think you’d look right at home among the masterpieces.

Jeongguk’s focus is on the floor and the floor alone as his stomach twists. Butterflies beat their wings against his ribcage, darting here and there, and he swears that if the train sways one more time, he may throw up his bagel right there and then.

He feels something at his right jacket pocket and flinches, only to notice it is your hand that retreats from it a second later.

He produces a familiar looking scrap of paper from his pocket with trembling fingers, unfolding it anew as he reads a new line of scribbled letters, squinting a little at the cramped figures.

An art exhibition? Sounds like a perfect first date to me.

And that’s how this beautiful thing begins.

an epilogue (of sorts): one year and one day later

There is a thought you had many moons ago, in the heart of a child but nestled in a timeless soul. A thought that was purely fantasy: of mankind supporting the weight of the heavens with the structures that scratch the sky around your tiny little apartment, shared not by one soul, but two. Never before had someone so fallen into your heart like he had, cradling it in his palms with sweet, sweet adoration. Jeongguk was yours and you were his, and that was simply how things were.

You had moved in shortly after you began dating, a decision some criticized but had felt purely natural to the both of you. It was easy to fall into a rhythm with him, easy to let him into the world you had built for yourself now expanding to fit one more.

He introduced you to Korean barbecue and held you when things wouldn’t go your way; you dragged him into the vortex of John Mulaney’s comedy and cried together while binging all seven Harry Potter movies in two days. He taught you some Korean while you polished his English, supplementing it with words he perhaps didn’t need to know, but you couldn’t help laughing when he mashed profanities in brand-new combinations. He loved tea and quiet nights on the couch; you craved the intimate moments high above it all, watching your city rush beneath you in all of its gritty, grimy, wonderful glory. Jeongguk’s pen scratches the page of his sketchbook as you gaze out at the lights that flicker in the apartment buildings seated securely in midtown, downtown, beyond.

We will never know when the sky decides to fall, to come crashing down to earth in all of her heavenly splendor. It is something known only in the fabric of the universe, stitched together in cosmic threads we cannot even hope to unravel. Not yet, anyways. It will come to us eventually, when it is time, comfortably so. In the meantime, you’ll look out over the balcony railing of your little studio apartment uptown, the night air breathing clear, with a blanket wrapped around your legs and Jeon Jeongguk by your side, unceasingly himself.

And that is everything you can ask for in this life and the next.

#bts #bts fluff #kpop fluff #jungkook fluff #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenario #bts au #verses and vibes #outroshooky #guksheart

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selenityshiroi · 5 years ago

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FFVII REMAKE SPOILERS

Okay, I’ve given it a few days since the official launch. I have to give my thoughts on this game. Don’t read if you are still playing through, as I WILL be talking about the ending and some things that diverged from the original game.

First off, this game was so good in so many ways.

I was worried about the gameplay, because I’m not really an Action RPG gamer. But the gameplay was smooth, fun and well planned. I played the game on easy, so I could focus on getting through the story, but I WANT to play the next difficulty because I feel like I will enjoy the challange.

Then there was the graphics. Oh. My. God. This game is SO BEAUTIFUL. The scenery (even though it’s not always supposed to be beautiful, it’s so intricate and detailed and has such a scale and world building to it), the characters, the battle animations, the attacks...even the grotesque monsters look so well done. We KNOW the FF series is always known for it’s stunning visuals, but they really outdid themselves. And, yeah, there are a few texture bugs that’ll probably be patched at some point, but even things like the lighting and the facial expressions and body language...it’s all SO GOOD. If this was a movie they would be fighting for art direction awards.

But the part they totally blew my expectations away on, everyone’s expectations, is the character and story development.

When they said they expanded Midgar they really, really did. But not by senselessly bloating it out. Everything they did led to making you more and more invested in the events. Spending more time with Team Avalanche meant that you cared about Biggs, Wedge and Jessie. Spending time talking to the NPCs in Sector 7 meant that you really, really wanted to stop that plate from coming down. And every time you spent time with one of the main characters, you felt like you knew and understood them better than you ever did.

By the time we got to the plate collapse I actually felt GUILTY for doing side quests and looking for treasure etc. Because it felt like I’d failed the people in the slums (even though, obviously, taking your time doesn’t change the story). And they’d done SUCH A GREAT JOB in making the slums feel real.

Now...before I go into characters and relationships, let me be clear and upfront. I always have and always will ship Cloti. But I don’t hate Aerith. I never actually played her much in the original game (I was spoiled for her death and was very pragmatic in not wanting to waste my EXP). This game is my first real taste of Aerith as a character and not a lost friend, so I’ve loved getting to know her.

Let me get the Cloti talk out of the way, first.

HOLY SHIT.

I’m sure there are fans of other pairings who won’t agree, but most people are in agreement. Cloud and Tifa got a LOT of ship fuel in this game.

From the start, Tifa is the one person Cloud isn’t standoffish around. He tries but within a few minutes of them teamed up in Sector 7 they are gently teasing each other in banter, and he is SOFT AS HELL towards her. Since this comes directly after the opening mission (where he and Barret are openly antagonistic to each other and he barely tolerates the rest of the team) it’s very obvious. As the chapter goes on he also listens to her and offers support and encouragement, which is completely different to the rest of his interactions thus far.

As the game goes on this difference continues, even when he starts to open up to others. Despite the fact that he has encouraging and impressed battle dialogue with Tifa and seems to respect her ability to take care of herself, the game has him constantly protective of her. They also touch each other A LOT (both initiated by Tifa and Cloud) and far more so than anyone else. There are some super charged moments between them, too (the train jump scene alone has enough sexual tension to start a baby boom) and there are several gratuituous scenes of them grabbing at each other in danger and showing extreme concern both physically and emotionally (and more of Cloud being SOFT AS HELL when it comes to Tifa). Plus their optional scene is super romantically suggestive (with the hug and his concern for her emotions and the hints at their shared history).

I could spend so much time going over all of their interactions and little moments because WOW. But I wanna go over the other relationships.

Cloud and Barret have such amazing development through the game. They start out as super antagonistic to each other. Barret doesn’t trust him and Cloud doesn’t care. But Barret is a softy at heart and he can’t help but soften up a little. By the time of the second reactor mission they start to tolerate and appreciate each other a little. But by the time they are fighting to save the plate? At that point Cloud is invested in the Team and Barret knows he’s a good fighter and maybe a good guy. The optional scene (I haven’t triggered it but was linked to a video) they have is such a good one where is shows how far they’ve come (Barret unloading his thoughts and emotions onto Cloud and feeling comforted by having spoken with him and Cloud willing to listen patiently and willing to be part of the Team).

Barret and Tifa have a rather familial relationship (Barret is super protective of his team and you can see this really early on) and their mutual respect and care for each other is wonderful. They know each other so well and are so emotionally open to each other.

Cloud and Aerith start out with him being pretty standoffish and barely tolerating her. But when she encourages him to save Tifa from Don Corneo they start to bond and their friendship starts to develop.

The slow build to Cloud finally sharing a high five (a few ‘how do you human’ moments with Avalanche, Tifa and Aerith and then misqueing one with Aerith before finally getting one right) was so damned adorable and is one of my fav moments!

I mean, I don’t ship them (and with the SHEER VOLUME of Cloti moments plus the increased hints towards Aerith’s relationship with Zack I don’t feel like I’m supposed to) but I am 100% behind their friendship. Also...Aerith knows how to flirt with Cloud and then back off when he’s uncomfortable...unlike Jessie who was well out of order several times. She is cool.

But talking about friendships I am 100% behind and very much grateful to Squeenix for giving us?

Hello Aerti!

DAMN these girls got a lot of moments together and plenty of chance to interact and develop a bond and I LOVED IT. Cloud was totally a third wheel to them, most of the time, and so he should be. Thank you for giving us girls being friends and not letting a man get between them. Tifa and Aerith protecting and defending each other felt so good after seeing so much toxicity spread around by the less stable parts of both ship fandoms.

Between letting Tifa and Aerith spend time together and having Barret help Aerith out of Shinra Tower it felt like Squeenix are trying to spend more time on developing Aerith’s relationships with the whole team. And I LOVE that because it’s needed before we get to THAT moment in future games. Nanaki doesn’t get much time with the others but it’s nice to see the starts of the bonds forming.

As much as I love shipping I love one thing just as much. FOUND FAMILY TROPES. And I want the next game to definitely go down this route for the entire Squad.

As for the characters individually...thank god we finally have the (not quite) real Cloud back. The emo fanon contruction is gone and we have our awkward, dorky, snarky boy back. I love him. He tries his best to be cool and all, but he’s a good boy at heart and it leaks out all over the place.

Same with Barret. Soft Team Dad hidden under a gruff guy who tries to come off as all tough and deadly. His moments regarding Marlene were super sweet and, like before, are such a contrast to his ‘big bad activist’ self that it’s great to see him in both stages and the inbetween.

Tifa was ~chef’s kiss~. A little playful but also a little shy. Full of compassion but not a pushover. Tough as nails, when needed, but also emotionally open.

Aerith was super playful and fun. But there is an undercurrent of sadness and insecurity around her and there is a lot of speculation that she may Know Things. Possibly even her future death.

We don’t get much of Nanaki or Reeve but I can’t wait for more from them (in Reeve’s case, through Cait Sith who got a small cameo during the plate collapse) in the next game. It looks like we might get Nanaki being a proper teenage wolf kitty which is gonna be great!

Team Avalanche were all pretty great, except for Jessie’s outrageous flirting going totally over the line...Cloud was very clear with his refusals but she still didn’t back off and was a step over the borderline of harrassment. That being said, other than the flirting, the team had some great moments. Jessie’s concern over how much of Reactor 1 was her fault and her GUILT was amazing. Biggs and Wedge, too, felt real and dimensional. Cloud building a small bond with the three of them (THEY GOT HIS FIRST TRUE AND BRIGHT SMILE) was so good and made the plate fall EVEN WORSE (despite the possibility of survival for them).

But now...the ending.

Oh boy.

There is a lot of talk and speculation about the ending and I’m sure it’ll be a hot topic until the next game comes out.

There are a few things it could mean on a scale of ‘barely anything will change but this means that Squeenix have given themselves some wiggle room with future events’ all the way up to ‘everything is gonna be totally different to the original game from here on out’.

Everyone is mad at the thought of the next game going in the latter direction and it’s the biggest drawback of the game to most. The one thing holding them back from thinking this game a perfect adaptation of the original game.

Personally, I think that the game is not going to change that much. I DON’T think Zack is still alive (the game was very clear to show us that Cloud still had the buster sword...so much so as to equip it on him during the cut scene after Zack’s appearance, even if it wasn’t his equiped weapon...Cloud probably wouldn’t have the sword if Zack was alive). I do think the Sephiroth we saw could be from the future. I do think the game will mostly keep to the same beats and events but that certain things will change in execution in order to keep some element of surprise and suspense. The biggest of things being that I think Aerith will still die, but not in the same set of events.

Overall, this game was utterly fantastic in almost every way. As a fan of the original I was so, so happy with what they did. The production team should be so very proud of the effort and detail they put into this game. The love they have for the original was obvious in the presentation.

10/10 would and will play again!

#final fantasy vii remake spoilers #ffviir spoilers #spoilers

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disenchantedfaerie · 5 years ago

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We’re still playing games, won’t you join?

I didn’t really listen to the entire thing. I was mostly just interested in the part about the rant. What I love most about this is still the fact that no one mentions why he was called out in the first place. He doesn’t mention it. CB doesn’t mention it. No one does. It’s just poor SH couldn’t take it anymore. He is poor abused Sam and it was the right time to share his feelings. He doesn’t mention it was all in response to the “small group of very vocal people” who used their voices to point out his covidiocy. And what did they get in return? Hate from this worshippers loyal followers and his blocking them from his SM. Read that again. HATE from his followers, the very thing he was reprimanding the fandom for is what they were doing to the “small group of people” that called him out for the lies and the blatant disrespect of what was happening.

Again, I don’t discount his feelings and if he truly does have mental health issues, I really hope and pray he finds a way to seek the help he needs. Mental health is no joke. I know. I deal with it daily. Bullying and stalking is not acceptable on any level ever. As someone in the public eye, I’m sorry that they have to deal with that. We’ve all heard the horror stories. The thought of stalking a celeb to find their whereabouts would never occur to me. If I run into someone on the street randomly, LUCKY ME! But to seek them out? No thank you. I don’t have that kind of time. I lived in LA for 17 years. I met a few celebs when I was following bands in Hollywood. Met them. Maybe had a drink or two, some nice conversation or a hug. That’s it. I didn’t follow them home or try to find them in hopes we could have a relationship, friendship or anything else. End of story.

Which leads me back to the main issue. Why did he really feel the need to drop that rant on that fateful day? It wasn’t really about the bullying and stalking. It was to change the focus of the fact that he fucked up by going to Hawaii in the midst of a global pandemic with someone, as far as we all know, he barely knew, and then bragged about it and let us know how hard he works and how much he deserved it when other harder working people had to cancel their plans. Let’s not forget it was just a few days before the Gaga special as well. Damage control. Simple. He then further punished his worshippers loyal followers and the rest of the fandom by tweeting and IGing sporadically, not interacting and staying quiet. Maybe he should have done that to begin with but attention is attention whether it’s good or bad.

And for what? A vacation? Really? New Orleans was all work? New York? Vegas? Oregon? Mexico? Mammoth? Big Sur? LA? He was working 24/7 (like all our front line doctors/nurses/delivery/all ESSENTIAL workers) the entire time he was brought to America? That’s truly amazing. What stamina he must have coming off of 10 long months of filming where again there was absolutely no down time ever. All work and no play makes Sammy a dull boy I guess.

The response however from STARZ and his coworkers has been very telling in my opinion. There really hasn’t been much interaction and for being one of the leads in the show it’s simply amazing how his live IGs have been cancelled time and again and OL STARZ hasn’t supported him doing one like they did for all the lesser cast. Interesting, yes?

I know I keep saying it over and over and I likely will keep saying it in the hopes that the guy I thought I followed when I started watching this show will apologize for discounting this pandemic and not following the advice of his government and being an entitled jerk about it when he was called out. If he thought he was really right, why lash out? Because deep down, he knew he was wrong but as a spoiled, selfish, entitled git, he had to show everyone just exactly who he is. Thank you. I’m glad he did. He’s saved me heartache and money.

I feel like I’m blathering but it’s my blog so I can. My final point is about this interview. When asked what the first thing is he wants to after this is over? He briefly said oh friends and family, but see my good old coworker Cait, hug my good old coworker Cait because that means they’re back at work. Feed a shipper much? That statement on the heals of the IG story he posted and where he asked for captions? Not a photo of J/C. No. That would have made too much sense. It was a photo of S/C with a cutesy little heart. Feed the shippers much? I just cannot with these people. They can’t have it both ways. Who are the biggest trolls in the fandom? STARZ and the leads. They started it. They keep feeding it. It will never end. What is he really going to do when OL is no more? Slip back into obscurity and hopefully (fingers crossed) live his actual truth if he even remembers what that is? Or will he continue with the lies because this taste of fame is too much to resist? Who will he fall back on when he can’t hide behind the show or his good old coworker, his number one woman to be associated with? What then? Be on another series, if he can, and be shipped with his costar again? And start the entire process all over? Be careful what you wish for. You may just actually get it. I feel bad for his mum. I can’t wait to see mine again, to hug her, have a meal with her, just sit with her and look at her. My coworkers will come and go. I only get one mum.

Next time I’m going to lay my thoughts on you about Dwayne Johnson The Rock. I read an interview with him recently and it restored my faith in humanity and elite A-List celebs. That’s for next time. Stay tuned.

I’ll be watching. I’ll be posting. 🖤💙🤍

#samheughan #sam heughan #my opinion #my rants #my thoughts #king of men #if you cant be nice scroll on by #over it #outlander starz #interview

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bwprowl · 5 years ago

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Rage and Replacements in Final Fantasy VII Remake

Final Fantasy VII isn’t my favorite video game ever. Hell, it’s not even my favorite Final Fantasy game (That’d be FF4). But it is a game that I really, really like, and for that I’m immensely grateful that Final Fantasy VII Remake exists. Not just for letting me dive into an exhaustingly immersive version of this game’s world that, thanks to design, music, and general vibes, ‘feels’ pitch-perfect as a recreation of that, but also because it lets me experience a resurgence in Final Fantasy VII fan enthusiasm and discussions in our modern era. Just being able to scroll through my Twitter feed and see tons of great art and memes based on this old game I love is a testament to how worthwhile this project has turned out to be.

That said, as anyone who’s played through all of FF7R can now tell you, much of that rich retro-recreation is in service of the later twists in this installment. The whole thing turns out to be designed to pull the rug out from under the player and the characters by the end, an exercise in escaping the original plot of Final Fantasy VII as much as the walled-in city of Midgar itself. And there’s thus some trepidation from people who may have preferred that this revisiting of the story stay on the rails they remembered, sticking only to the plot of the original just with all those glossy current-console-generation bells and whistles helping it along. And while I can’t really condemn that mindset, I also can’t really adopt any element of my own.

As someone who’s played through Final Fantasy VII several times, and has played the beginning of Final Fantasy VII particularly quite a few times, the attention to detail in recreating the Midgar portion was worthy of applause. But as much as I was happy to get sucked back into the world, right from the start, pretty much, I was being even more drawn in by the presence of new elements. Right after that first reactor bombing run, where the demo left off (both in the original and for the Remake), we get a new illusory scene of Sephiroth and the appearance of the spooky plot-arbiters called Whispers as Cloud, Aerith, and Sephiroth himself all make cryptic statements hinting towards the idea that we might have Done This All Before. And as an absolute slut for metatext in fiction, that really drove me as I played through the thing. It creates an interesting context, treating the plot of Final Fantasy VII as a setting unto itself that we’re then drip-fed this new plot on top of. And of course that doesn’t become clear until right at the end, but it’s still an element, that question of what’s ‘really’ going on here even as we’re also enjoying being taken through an FF7 theme-park with fancy new takes on stuff like Wall Market and the Train Graveyard.

I guess my hang-up comes in comprehending the real issues of FF7 faithful upset that we didn’t get a straight recreation. A lot of times my attitude towards new versions of things is “The original still exists, so if you don’t like the changes made to the new one, you can still go back to the old one.” And indeed, if all these folks are as big of fans of the original FF7 as they profess to be, they can understand that Remake isn’t going to cause their PS1 discs to blink out of existence. Part of me can understand a fear that with Final Fantasy VII Remake 2 (whenever that manages to come out) pointedly going in an ‘unknown’ direction plot-wise, we may miss out on seeing reenvisioned versions of our favorite later FF7 stuff, but this is Tetsuya Nomura we’re talking about. I think it’s clear that whatever else you think of the man, Nomura is a HUGE fan of FF7. Cait Sith has already popped up, and Cid, Vincent, Yuffie? Safe to say all those characters will still be in there. The Gold Saucer will almost certainly still be in there. Chocobo breeding and fights with the Weapons, probably all still going to be in there. They’ll probably still make us do the Wutai sidequest again. The contexts may end up changing and there may be all sorts of wild new shit in-between, but to think a massive FF7 fanboy like Nomura is going to completely excise a lot of the most enjoyably iconic parts of it is to ignore the sheer unbridled love for the game that came through just in this first part.

And god, how can you not be excited to actually have no idea how or if Aerith is going to die in this version? They’re setting me up for another shock based on one of the most overspoiled spoilers in video-game history, and that’s friggin’ brilliant, if you ask me.

Because the fact is, all those elements in the original FF7 are what make it still hold up today, and if you want to experience them in their original iteration, you can absolutely still go back and play it. Heck, I’m amazed at how much playing through Remake has me hankering to return to the original, never mind revisiting all that Compilation material. This game has me curious about checking out Dirge of Cerberus, a game that everyone knows is bad! But on the subject of the original, there is the point of those who seemingly were counting on Remake to ‘replace’ that old game, or newcomers who jumped on thinking this would be an ideal way to experience that story for the first time. And with that ending up a wash, I don’t think it’s as big a deal as some are making it out to be, again for the simple fact that the original FF7 still exists, and can be bought and downloaded and played on more platforms than I can list at this point. You can play FF7 on your phone! If you’re reading this and getting mad about Remake’s plot changes on mobile, you can just download the original FF7 on that device and play it instead.

Because it’s important to admit that graphical fidelity and robust modern gameplay flourishes do not a masterpiece make. I like a lot of the touches in the original FF7, its prerendered backgrounds used for a sense of style and perspective that would’ve been unthinkable in the sprite era of RPGs, but it is true that a lot of its other graphics, especially its overworld models, look a bit shit. They’re chunky, awkward first attempts at translating the old Final Fantasy style to a polygonal place, and they definitely don’t hold up. But for something great, looking like shit shouldn’t matter too much. I said my favorite Final Fantasy was IV, and that game looks like shit too, running into simply awkward translation to the 16-bit era the same way VII did with 3D on the PlayStation. But IV is still a wonderful game to play that tells a killer story with characters I love. And FF7 does the same, with its own systems and interfaces to gameplay that make it great to go through even as those characters are represented by shuffling tinkertoys. If you love FF7 so much that you were all-in on its Remake and compelled by the nostalgia it summoned, then you should still be able to derive joy from that original and recommend it to newcomers for the same reasons. To feel betrayed that this new version didn’t sufficiently replace it is to admit that you thought your timeless favorite needed replacing.

And finally, I have to laugh at anybody arguing that Final Fantasy VII Remake was ‘falsely advertised’ as it was, since you know what other game famously misrepresented itself in its advertising?

Final Fantasy VII.

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#final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii remake #ff7 #ff7r #final fantasy

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noirwomaninred · 5 years ago

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Grunts, gasps and moans of Final Fantasy 7 Remake review

My absolutely spoiler free review / thoughts about the game followed with under the cut spoiler “review” where I give my thoughts on the story which I absolutely forbid you from reading before you are done with the game.

Do realize that the under the cut spoiler section will have full spoilers not just for the remake but for the original Final Fantasy 7.

However the initial spoiler free review will go in depth to the game systems, so if you want to learn those on your own you would better skip the whole post.

Meat of the game (Combat system)

The game has an active battle system similar to Final Fantasy XV or Kingdom Hearts games but feels much more refined. You can play the game as hack and slash on easier difficulties, but the normal difficulty (with hard being unlocked ones you finish the game) tests your knowledge of the system at times.

By landing hits on enemies or just by waiting you fill your ATB (Active time battle) gauge and once you have enough of it you can do special attacks and use spells or items. This makes some moments quite tense when you are on low health and need to fill ATB by rushing in and lands bunch of hits in quick succession to be able to heal your character before they get killed.

You can also skip the active time battle by setting the difficulty to “classic” when the AI takes over your characters who automatically attack, dodge and guard against attacks while you can focus on just giving commands on what abilities, spells or items they should use when ATB meter is up. If you think your the AI isn’t doing good enough job you can take control at anytime and the overall difficulty of “classic” mode is same as easy.

You can equip skills, spells and active buffs by equipping materia, which are items that grant these skills. The characters aren’t able to use those skills if materia is unequipped, so you have to choose what works best for you.

On top of the materia system you have different weapons that give your characters different abilities. Using the said abilities they can learn them and can then use them even when the weapon is changed.

You take control of multiple characters and you are able to switch between them on the fly whenever you wish in combat. Each character feels different to play and have their own strengths and weaknesses.

Only negative I would have is that targeting system can be at times a bit fickle and camera occasionally can be fighting against you when trying to hit enemies who are above ground level. This is more of a nitpick than a real problem.

The combat system is great and has enough depth to carry a full game.

Grunts, gasps and moans (Audio)

This game suffers the same problem as most of the console games. There isn’t really a sweet spot for audio to be perfect. Music can swallow the dialogue or the other way around, the side dialogue can swallow the main dialogue etc.

If you haven’t guessed the title of my review comes from the audio problems the game has. The grunts, gasps and moans can at times be way too loud and just distracting. For example when character is clearly far in the background you can hear them grunt as if they were doing it right agaisnt your ear.

From let’s plays (and my own experience) the side dialogue heard by random characters on the streets are a bit too loud and distracting. None of these things isn’t anything that ruins the experience but it is a bit annoying.

What did you expect (Music)

Music is done by Nobuo Uematsu, along with Masashi Hamauzu and Mitsuto Suzuki. It is amazing and among one of my favorite video game soundtracks.

Everyone is so pretty and hot (Graphics / visuals)

Graphics of this game are unreal, every character is so pretty, lighting is on point and the art direction is great. They made trash look interesting in HD and that is saying much.. Though there are few times when you see low textures or even the infamous doors that are impossible to miss and look like they didn’t load correctly or just miss proper textures. This again is more of a nitpick and not a real problem.

Everyone is so nice and wholesome (Characters)

All the characters are likable and charming on their own way. The banter between the cast members is done really well and no one feels under utilized. Some side characters may be way over the top and anime if you don’t like that kind of thing but that again is down to your own taste. At first I had a bit of a trouble accepting some but I grew to like all them in the end.

Good guys are good and villains are villains. I like them all.

Final thoughts

The game is quite amazing on all fronts but at times it can feel a bit bloated and drag on during some sections though this is mostly down to your own opinion. Personally I didn’t feel the sections drag on in more than two points of the game when I felt the pacing was a bit too slow for what was going on (The other case being just feeling that area was stretched out and other a pacing issue for what was going on with the story).

I overall recommend the game if you are s fan of JRPGs, but as a remake of FF7 it is quite different and can be good or bad depending on how you like it. Though I will say that if you expected the marketed remake of the original story with expanded bits.. It simply isn’t it.

With that out of the way under the cut is the spoiler review and my thoughts on the story of the game. Do not read it unless you have played the game or just don’t give a f*** about full spoilers.

Here I will put up my thoughts on the full story and go deeper into certain scenes that has been added or altered from the original. Please know that these are my personal opinions and if you disliked something that I liked or that I disliked something you liked is fine, no hate coming from me so don’t toss it my way! Feel free to hit me up in instant messages if you want to discuss stuff.

The Avalanche gang

The side characters from the Avalanche have been greatly expanded upon and all of it is good, while Jessie got the most of it and I honestly don’t mind that.

We get a whole new side adventure with the gang which makes sense as part of the bigger plot and gives the characters time to shine. This also makes the emotional punch later on feel much more effective.

Train graveyard and spooky ghosts

This part that is added with Aerith’s backstory being expanded by just a small glimpse and having the characters run around with spooky ghosts is good.. But it is placed in the worst place when considering the full narrative.

At this time the characters are running towards Sector 7 to prevent the plate from falling on +50 000 people and to have a prolonged part with ghosts makes takes away from the build up and the agency of the moment. If this spooky ghost part would have been done in any other point of the story it would have been fine but now it drags on the part of the game that should feel intense.

Use of Sephiroth

PTSD / ghost appearances

I was all aboard for Sephiroth being a haunting ghost for Cloud with the worst case of PTSD. The only scene I would have cut from him would have been the first meeting with Aerith where he feels really out of place for me and the “you can’t save anyone” taunt talk would have been better used right before the plate fall instead of being used as a “hey, you remember Aerith is gonna die” moment that is just eh.

I especially loved the moment right after the plate fall when Cloud freaks out as Sephiroth taunts how he just let all those people die and all the others see is him freaking out because of nothing.

Final moments

To have him as a final boss of the game is just... Please, can’t you save anything at all for the end of the story? We already had our final boss of the whole remake story I guess. Overall in the end when they stopped using Sephiroth as a haunting ghost and turned him into a random big bad of the story, where he literally has no place in even with the changed narrative, is just quite lame for me personally and it felt like he was overused.

Shinra board of directors

All the villains are great. None of them is toned down and they clearly love what they do just as they did in the original game. Scarlett was a bit over the top but to be fair I always got the insane dominatrix vibes from her so it works. Hojo is absolutely delight on how creepy and off putting he is.

The changed story with them using the reactor bombings and the plate fall not to just turn the people against Avalanche but to sell a war to their civilians against Wutai is really well done and I’m excited to see where it goes.

The TURKS

The TURKS are all portrayed as they have always been. Great stuff.

Roche

Roche is a bit too over the top but he is way too fabulous not to like as a frenemy. It took a bit for me to warm up to him but I think he is a great addition. Though I think it is a missed opportunity not to have him have a second appearance at the very end during the motorcycle escape.

The Honey Bee inn

The Honey Bee inn might very well be one of my favorite gaming moments of my life. It is whimsical, way over the top and fabulous not to like. What I like the most of it is the fact they didn’t turn it into a harmful scene or a joke that might hurt the people who crossdress or fight with their gender identity.

I love the fact that they go as far as have the character in game state that one should always be who they are without fear and the beauty is something that the gender does not apply to.

However the cat calling on the streets for Aerith and Cloud was a bit too much and uncomfortable and the follow up sleeping gass scene, that was added instead of having the charcters just lead to the basement, was too real.

The plate fall and the aftermath

The plate fall event was quite spectacular and great overall. However I do think that Square has lost their touch on what the tone of certain scenes should be with the random appearance of Cait Sith (that will be just wtf moment for new comers who have no context for a cat with a crown) when everything goes down. It is really short glimpse but it was more than enough to take me out of the emotional impact and just make me groan.

It also took me a great attempt on suspension of disbelief to have Wedge survive the ordeal, but I managed it and accepted it. However as much as I wished for Biggs to survive I can’t suspend my disbelief so much. They had him die in front of the gang and if he somehow just passed out and they were silly enough to leave him behind (which I doubt they would have done) they had him be on the pillar that was destroyed beyond any recognition.. So yeah.. It truly does a disservice for the whole emotional impact of the plate fall and overall experience when the plot armor is so damn thick.

I mean right now I’m at the point of thinking that Jessie is alive because she “died” just like Biggs and if he survived so should she, right?

I really wish they would have had the guts to pull the trigger on the characters like they did in the original or at least write sensible ways to have some of the characters survive.

Jenova

I think they downplayed the horror aspect of Jenova and revealed too much too soon. There is no more a nightmare fuel scene in the game where you get to go through the eerie quiet Shinra building with bodies here and there with a blood trail and claw marks on the walls. Now it is simply reduced to following a spooky juice that might be purple glowing blood.

As fun as the boss battle against the Jenova was it felt out of place and confusing. I generally feel that the creators thought that they just had to cram Jenova fight in there and couldn’t wait for it to happen later or have Jenova get their proper introduction later on.

Rufus

Rufus, while he looks absolutely stunning, is downplayed. Now he is simply reduced to a random boss battle that is sudden and he has no real character introduction like he did in the original. Even his lines were given to Heidegger who had at this point been well established so this choice just feels bizarre. I realize he wouldn’t have much of a role here anyway but now Rufus didn’t even get a proper introduction for going forward.

Last bosses and Zack

The whole section that starts from the moment the gang stops on the highway and have Aerith give random speech how Sephiroth is bad and they should stop him and all, even without establishing why he is bad or who he is in the remake or how Aerith knows about him at all. Going forward it becomes a confused mess and the boss feels so out of place by being something that should have been in Kingdom Hearts instead of FF7 which is (or was) grounded on reality rather well up until the ending parts of the game.

They also give rather confusing scenes of Zack at the end with no context to anything that is happening until the very last scene of the whole game which I don’t mind.. But have Zack appear out of nowhere and not explaining it at all feels like a chep try for nostalgia and not much else.

However have him appear and walk past Cloud and Aerith as they head out of Midgar was great and could have worked if there wasn’t any additional scenes of him. To have this mystery character with Cloud to head towards Midgar at the end of the game would have been a great hook for the new comers but now it is just... It is what it is, I guess.

Constant spoilers

The game is littered with scenes of Cloud seeing to the “future” (who know how that will go now). Some of these are more subtle than others but some scenes are flat out spoilers that aren’t difficult to figure out by new comers.

I just don’t agree with this spoiler culture and it took me out of the experience at times, though I think that new comers have less of a problem with that if they won’t figure out what certain things mean..?

What absolutely felt too much was flat out showing Aerith dead in a flash forward, the meteor and destruction of Midgar of all things. Just stop.

The whispers

I absolutely hate this addition and before anyone loses their mind let me explain. The floating cloak people make some scenes cringe worthy (like them kidnapping Cloud and Aerith to have them fly away from Reno in comical manner) and they add absolutely nothing to the flow of the story.

For example the whispers prevent the characters from stopping Rude and Reno from making the plate fall... There was no need for them. They could have just had them fail without some “propfetic ghosts who make sure people die because that is how the story must go”. All the moments they “forced the story” to go certain way could have literally happened without them and without them it would have flowed much better.

They have Barret die for a moment just to bring him back by the whispers because his part in the story isn’t done yet. This is a cheap attempt for a tear jerker and takes away all the worry if he will be okay or not going forward for the new comers to FF7 since they wouldn’t raise him from the dead just to kill him off later.

They save the gang during the motorcycle scene multiple times just to make sure to dissolve whatever tension there is left by reassuring us that “hey our gang is safe because that is how the story goes”. They could have had them survive on their own.

Overall every time the whispers were on the screen they took me out of the experience first by just having me react by going “wtf are you doing here” and just made intense moments feel less so.. And now that I know what they were supposed to do I just think “all that would have gone down anyway” and “You literally gave plot armor a living form”? Not to mention that how they were included, would I agree or not (which I don’t) on their inclusion, they are written in the most cringy and poor fanfiction-y kind of way.

They apparently are the arbiters of fate which protect the original story of FF7 and by defeating them we can propably now have Aerith live and change everything. They are just used to give Square a permission to not just remake the game with modern gameplay, graphics and expand the original story but to flat out remake the whole story to something else. I can’t get over the fact they added time travel of all things to FF7.

I can't stand the fact that the whispers don't add anything to the narrative since without their involment everything would have happened naturally anyway. On top of that because of their "involment" to the story the narrative of FF7 Remake doesn't stand on its own by for example showing Zack with absolutely no context to anything, that even ruins his most iconic scenes that are used in the remake and Sephiroth ends up being "this bad guy who killed Cloud's mom and wants to destroy the planet for reasons that aren't explained at all and he apparently knows everything about the timeline" so even him being the big bad of the remake is just nonsensical when he isn't given proper context for anything that is going on. We simply have Aerith go "Sephiroth is bad and should be stopped" and we don't even get reasons why Aerith knows about him at all. The newcomers to the series have a remake of a game that doesn't stand as its own story without them knowing everything about the original game. They are just an excuse to have a justification for Square Enix to change the story going forward to whatever they want and after seeing how cringe worthy the whispers were I'm legit afraid the follow ups will be bad case of fanfiction.

I really, really hate that after playing through a long and arguably an amazing remake I’m left with bad taste in my mouth which stains all the great moments I had with it as all I will remember is how bad the ending turned out to be.

...I really hate to say this but the whispers act like a marketing scam. The game that was sold to us was a remake of a classic with expanded story but now what we have is retcon / reboot to turn it to who knows what going forward. Maybe what we will have in the future is amazing but I’m a bit sore after this.

Final Fantasy 7 Remake is a game that I loved 90% through but unfortunately I loathe the last 10% which is enough to take me out of the experience. Not to mention that 10% is more imporant to the mess of a story we now have than what happened in the rest of the game and it has such great implications on what will happen to the future parts of the remake.. So yeah.

...I just don’t agree and I legit have a fear this will turn into bad fanfiction going forward. I hope this will turn out not to be that way but the fear of it is real.

#out with the red : ooc #gonna do something different #spoilers under the cut!!!#so beware!!#dont look what is under the read me line if you haven't played the game yet!

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frayedcobweb · 6 years ago

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Character Creation Tag

Woot, so I was tagged by the incredibly creative and lovely @honiewrites. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally sat down and done it :) I’m using this Character Creation post to tell you all about Edana and Cait, two kick-ass women in my wip Stillcity.

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.?)

Edana - Her appearance was probably first, intertwined with her relationships as Dorrell’s sister and Ciaran’s aunt. As a redhead myself I may have made her a kind of self-insert at first, but she’s actually much cooler than I’ll ever be.

Cait - Cait was interesting as she started out as a mention in another character’s backstory, but then the main story demanded that she get a larger role and she may yet take over Book Two. Cait’s own backstory was the first thing I knew of her.

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Edana is Dorrell’s sister and they are very similar, both in personality and appearance. I also came up with parts of Edana that I thought would work well with her nephew Ciaran’s personality.

Cait started as a childhood friend of Torin’s, so she had to be someone he would get along with. She is also quite similar to Ciaran for reasons that I still need to properly flesh out.

3) How did you choose their name?

Edana’s name follows my decision to use Celtic/Gaelic inspired names and means ‘fire’. It fits with her red hair and her fiery temper/character.

Cait’s name was originally inspired by an amazing woman I knew called Ceit (pronounced Kate). I didn’t know until a while after naming her that it means ‘pure’.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Edana - She has lived all her life in the Middle Tier of Stillcity, so she is very work and home focused. Due to issues beyond her control she has had to put her own wants aside for most of her life and so, even though she would love to, she has only been out into the Undulating Lands a couple of times. Something key that has shaped Edana’s backstory is the role of women in Ryxian society. Although she would probably make a kick-ass soldier thanks to her brother teaching her how to use a sword and bow, the Royal Guard is for men only.

Cait grew up in the Slums, the lowest tier of Stillcity, and had to fight to survive from a very young age. There are dangers in the Slums that don’t exist elsewhere in Stillcity and surviving these dangers shaped Cait into someone very tough and able to take care of herself and others. Also, when she was young Cait was fascinated by stories of the Mother of Many Faces (another name for the Undulating Lands), which she learned by heart during the minimal schooling that was available in the Slums. This led to her wish to become a Lorekeeper and learn all about the mysterious world beyond the walls of Stillcity.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Edana - Yes. As I said, I too am a redhead, and she has the same color hair as her brother.

Cait - I’m not really sure. Cait has black hair, just because.

6) Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

Edana has blue-grey eyes, again similar to Dorrell. And me lol.

Cait has brown eyes, but again I’m not sure why. I think I need to think about Cait a bit more.

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

Edana is tall because I wanted to give her some presence and because I wish I was taller. Damn this self-insert.

Cait is pretty short because I wanted her to be a tiny, feisty firecracker. And she is.

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

I relate to Edana’s wish to change her life and do something that she enjoys and is good at. Rather than just something she is good at. I also relate to her struggles to be seen as equal to men in arenas commonly (and/or formerly) reserved for men only.

I relate to Cait’s obsession with knowing more about the world and understanding why things are the way they are. She also got teased as a child about her height and tries to make up for it by being energetic and larger than life in other ways.

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

Hehe I think they both are in slightly different ways. But I think most of my characters have different parts of me in them.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Yes. Both Edana and Cait are straight.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

Argh, I hate that I can’t draw my OCs. I do paint and draw, but not people. I’m tempted to learn to draw people just so I can create rudimentary images of the characters that seem so real to me.

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

I haven’t finished planning out canon, so I can’t really answer that. I do have lots of backstory for them both though, so technically their stories go back beyond the current canon...? Lol does that even make sense, or does that just make it canon?

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

Edana could very easily be a Mary-Sue. I think I’m avoiding it (might need a beta/editor to tell me though). Additionally, in my rewrite I need to flesh Edana out a little more in regards to the society she lives in and the attitudes of the people she has to deal with.

Cait probably needs a revisit to make sure she isn’t Mary-Sueing everywhere. She is pretty awesome. Also I need to remember her struggles in the past and how they might affect her in the now.

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

Edana is pretty damn sarcastic. She always notices when people are getting a bit full of themselves and likes to bring them back to reality.

Cait is just a cheeky smartass and gets some great lines because of it.

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

Edana’s issues as a woman in a mostly man’s world gets me a bit emotional. It’s affected her life in a big way, not positively.

Cait is so empathetic, something I can identify with. When other characters are getting beaten up (by me) she hurts with them.

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Nah, but I will be doing more fleshing out so I obviously regret not adding stuff.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

Edana was one of the first characters I created, so I’ve known most things about her for a long time now. Ummm, it was probably that I need to add in some events to connect her with the societal norms/prejudices and how they impact on her in the future.

I recently discovered that Cait has peripheral connections to the Stillcity underworld. Being from the Slums she was exposed to it early, and I realized recently that this is something she’s held onto because she is of the mind that you use every resource at your disposal.

18) What is your favourite fact about your OC?

I love that Edana is a brilliant archer. (Just a note, I came up with her before the movie Brave came out. She seems pretty similar to Merida, but that is coincidental.)

Cait is eternally intrigued by the world around her and is a fount of interesting information. She also became a Lorekeeper through sheer determination and force of will, something that not many women, let alone women from the Slums, manage.

Tagging... Ummmm... @luna-evans-writes @sapphireclawe @vhum @knightsofeclipse and as usual, anyone else who wants to do it that I’ve forgotten. If people get sick of being randomly tagged then please message me and let me know. Or tell me the best way to set up a tag list.

#tag games #writeblr #character creation #character development #my post #Stillcity

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zirawrites · 7 years ago

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Hi! How do companions +Gage with crush on fem sole react when they find out she thinks she isn’t lovable because of her choices both past and present?

This is my first time writing Gage! Let me know what you think. It was harder than I thought it would be since I didn’t travel with the yellow trashcan-wearing bby that much.

Cait: Cait couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She rubbed Sole’s back as her companion blabbered on about every aspect of her life. The two women had been drinking all night, and Sole had always been an emotional drunk. Somehow they got on the topic of their pasts, and Sole immediately burst in to tears. “Nate was always disappointed in me,” she cried. “He was a soldier who worshiped the law. He disapproved of how I was a lawyer. And I know he’d hate the choices I’ve made.”

Cait scratched her head. “I have no idea what you’re talkn’ about, love,” she said. And Cait was being honest. “You’re tryn’ to take down the Institute: a bunch of shadow-assholes who terrorize families and replace people with copies of themselves. Hell, you’re like a superhero in one of those comic books. Cross my heart.”

Her words didn’t soothe Sole much. “I’ve killed, Cait. Even if they deserved it, I know Nate wouldn’t be able to stomach me.” Sole drunkenly hiccuped as she poured another glass. “I don’t deserve another chance at love. I just don’t.”

Exasperated, Cait had heard enough. She stood up to look down at weeping Sole; her arms crossed tightly and mouth in a tight frown. “Now wait just a damn minute!” she yelled. “You’re a hero in the Commonwealth. I know I ain’t one to talk. And hell, I’m not sure how uptight those pre-war assholes were about heroism. But I’ll be damned if I let you talk bad about yourself.” Cait crouched down in front of Sole and moved a strand of tear-soaked hair from her face. “If anythn’, you’re absolutely perfect.”

Codsworth (synth): The two friends were making breakfast in Sole’s Sanctuary home just like the pre-war days. The sun was shining, Diamond City radio was playing, and Codsworth told his usual stiff English jokes. For a moment, Sole forgot all about the nuclear fallout. Life was just as it used to be, but instead of Codsworth being a Mr. Handy, he was a well-dressed man who cared about cleanliness and the art of perfecting toast.

“Oh, mum,” Codsworth said as he handed her a plate, “it’s just like the old days. I do miss having more arms to tidy the ol’ homestead, but I’m definitely not complaining.” He liked having the new responsibilities of keeping himself fashionable. Compared to Sole who sat opposite of him at the table, he was adorned in almost pre-war garb. It was adorable.

“I wish we could recreate those days,” Sole admitted. She absentmindedly stirred the eggs on her plate, and Codsworth immediately noticed her anxiety. “I’m not the woman I used to be. How would I be able to get a date after all I’ve done in this world? There aren’t a lot of eligible bachelors aching for a murderer.”

Codsworth knew she was picturing the Institute in flames. Gunners shot down from where she sniped. Raiders running for their lives. All the injured settlers she couldn’t save. Instead of sitting down with Sole, Codsworth walked around the table to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Oh, mum,” Codsworth soothed. He wanted to cry, but wouldn’t let Sole see him like that. “The Commonwealth is blessed to have you. You aren’t a murderer. You’ve saved countless lives when you placed your own principles over a faction bent on genocide.” When Sole softened her expression, Codsworth’s tightened his grip. “The men in this new world aren’t gentlemen. They’re fixated on caps and mercenary work. It’s absolutely deplorable. You deserve so much more than that. Someone who appreciates your loyalty to justice. Your gentleness and empathy. Your -”

“And you deserve someone who appreciates your amazing eggs and charm.” Sole had cut Codsworth off, and a bright blush spread across his cheeks. He forgot what other compliment he was going to add.

Curie: “I cannot believe what I am hearing,” Curie gasped. The two women had been discussing their perfect utopia. Curie’s was one where science was held to the highest esteem and education was a right for every child. Sole dreamed of a world that aimed for total peace. There would be no racism. No one would be prejudice against ghouls or synths. And people like her wouldn’t exist. Curie was having none of it, and Sole had never seen her so upset. “You are a martyr to peace in the Commonwealth! I have looked up to you ever since you found me a human body and taught me about the real world.” It was true: Curie idolized Sole in every way possible. “If your utopia doesn’t include someone as smart and beautiful as you, then I do not want to live in it.”

Sole pulled back her head in shock. “What do you mean beautiful?”

Curie blushed and tried to stammer her way out of the mess she made. “I just meant that…. I mean… you are so kind and generous to people just eking out a living that I…” She never really did form a complete thought after that.

Danse: Sole had never seen Danse out of his power armor, and he was quite the sight to behold. The Brotherhood had recently taken down a raider operation which freed a large portion of settlements. It was such an impressive feat that Maxon allowed Danse and his men a night off to be civilians. The unanimous vote was to go out drinking. As the soldiers harassed the bartenders and drunkenly danced all over one another, Danse watched from the shadows. He had been nursing the same bottle of beer all night.

When Danse saw Sole walking towards him, he fumbled over his feet to meet her across the bar. He had never seen her in… was that a dress? It was rather conservative for a night out - down to her ankles and fastened with plastic buttons - but she looked beautiful. “Why aren’t you dancing with the others?” he asked her. “You deserve a night off more than anyone else here. If I recall correctly, it was you who found the raiders’ base. You interrogated their leader. I thought you’d be waist deep in free booze by now, soldier.”

“Oh, I’m not a big drinker,” Sole said. Was she blushing? Danse hoped he wasn’t. “And besides, I was just about to head back to the Prydwen. I really just wanted to dance. But everyone at the bar knows why we’re here. I’m sure a lady notorious for slitting raiders’ throats isn’t exactly charming. I’m not fooling anyone with this dress.”

Without even meaning to, Danse extended his hand towards Sole. They both seemed equally surprised. “That’s nonsense, Sole,” he said; a smile spreading across his face. The jukebox flipped on a new song, and everyone at the bar headed to the small dance floor. “I hope this isn’t too forward but… May I have this dance?”

Deacon: It had been a month since Deacon told Sole about his late wife. He wasn’t entirely sure she believed him, but that was understandable. Sole had been nothing but loyal to Deacon, while he soiled their friendship at every turn with lies and tricks. Baring his all to his partner took some of the burden off his shoulders, but it wasn’t enough. It probably would never be enough. He didn’t deserve a friend like Sole.

“Hey partner.” Deacon was leaning against the desk in HQ when Sole returned from a mission. She knew whatever he had to say must have been serious because he was using the same soft infliction he had when he talked about Barbara. “I’ve been thinking… I sprung a lot on your plate a few weeks ago. Are we okay? Like, I didn’t scare ya off or anything? Because I’m not used to being so honest. You don’t need to be okay with what I’ve done.”

Sole stepped as close as she could to Deacon without physically touching him. The small space between them made him dizzy. Good dizzy? Was that even a thing? “Deac, you don’t ever need to worry about that. I appreciate you being so open about your past. If anything, I think it’s brought us closer together. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t deserve to be loved. After choosing the Railroad over my son and the amount of blood on my hands… hell, I don’t even deserve having you in my life.”

Sole gasped as Deacon pulled her in to his chest. For not being the hugging type, Deacon held her so tight her tip-toes barely scraped the floor. She mumbled something in to his shirt, but he couldn’t hear. “Shut up,” he whispered. If he came to his senses, he might let go of Sole and run away forever. And he definitely didn’t want that.

Hancock: Hancock placed his hand on the small of Sole’s back as they waved at Billy from the streets. They had just returned the young ghoul to his family, and Hancock couldn’t be more proud of Sole’s selflessness. She was able to calm the child down well enough to find his family, and resist the temptation of selling him in to slavery. He couldn’t hold her to a higher affinity if he tried.

When Billy shut the door, Hancock turned to Sole. He could barely make out her features from the darkness outside; she was dimly lit from the green glow of her Pip-Boy. And, to his surprise, Sole was frowning. “What’s wrong, beautiful?” he asked. Sole could see Hancock was frowning as well. She hadn’t meant to kill his vibe.

“Nothing,” she said. Her voice was soft and unsure. “It’s just… I guess seeing Billy’s family made me realize what I missed out on. That could have been Nate and I. Now who would want to settle down with me? I’m damaged goods.”

“Who the FUCK is sayn’ that?!” Hancock seethed. He seriously wanted to know. “Damaged goods my irradiated ass. Sole, you are everything right with this messed up world. I couldn’t be more proud of you, baby. Anyone who can’t see how perfect you are is either blind or just plain stupid.”

Sole was used to Hancock’s pet names, but never felt him hold on to her that tight. She cleared her throat and chuckled as Hancock sheepishly let go of her waist. He was blushing so hot anyone within fifteen feet of him would need to take some RadAway.

MacCready: Sole had a way with bartering that MacCready deeply admired. She managed to get an entire shipment of ammunition for Sanctuary for a third of what Diamond City charged. As the two of them set out to find a caravan to carry the supplies, he wanted to blow some smoke up Sole’s ass. She deserved it.

“You should have seen yourself back there!” MacCready said. “You’re like a cap-saving goddess. Can you get me a discount on hats? Mine is kinda falling apart.” Sole giggled at his compliments, which made MacCready’s heart skip a beat. He had never heard her laugh like that. It was something he wanted her to do again. “Seriously, Sole. How are you single? You could walk up to any guy at a bar and by the end of the night swindle yourself right in to a wedding ring.”

Sole didn’t laugh at that one. She slowed her pace enough to make a lump in MacCready’s throat. “I’m still single because nobody wants me like that,” Sole admitted. “I’m a good barterer and leader, but partner? Not so much.”

“That bullsh- bullcrap!” MacCready yelled. His voice was loud enough to attract the attention of a few drifters. “Who wouldn’t wanna marry you? Sole, don’t talk about yourself that way. I admire the heck outta you. And not just because you saved me a ton on ammo.” He wanted to keep gushing about Sole, but he had word-vomited enough for one day. Sole didn’t giggle, but she blushed. That was close enough for him.

Preston: Well, this was a first for both of them. While checking on a settlement, one of the women went in to labor. Other settlers explained that her husband had died from illness a month ago, and none of them knew how to deliver a baby. Sole immediately jumped in to help. Preston was in charge of calming her down while Sole did the dirty work. Luckily for everyone, the woman wasn’t in labor for even eight hours. The baby girl was delivered healthy, and her middle name was now Sole’s first one. It was touching.

Sole was cleaning herself up when Preston entered the shack to check on her. “You were really brave today, General,” he said. “I couldn’t have done that without you. You probably saved that mother’s life.” Sole smiled, but she didn’t respond. “Aren’t you proud of yourself?” Preston thought Sole would be gleaming, especially since she was also a mother.

“It makes me sad,” Sole admitted. She looked at her feet as she spoke. “I’ll never have another baby. I love Shaun with all my heart, but I always wanted a big family.” Preston asked Sole why she was so certain she’d never be pregnant again. It wasn’t like Sole was that old… well, physically. “No one would want to raise a family with me, Preston. Not after the choices I’ve made. I’m a different person than I used to be. A worse person, really.”

“That’s a lie!” Preston’s voice was louder than he expected. He drew in a deep breath to calm down, and then took a step closer. “Sole, you’re a fantastic mom. You’ve sacrificed everything to find your son. And I know you would make the best wife. No one is as selfless and brave as you. That’s how you gained the trust of the Minutemen. That’s how you earned my admiration.” With that, Preston placed a kiss on Sole’s cheek. It was unexpected, but not unappreciated.

Piper: Piper had interviewed Sole when she was searching for Shaun, so it only seemed appropriate to do one after the Institute fell. The two women sat in her office and sipped brandy that Nick had generously donated just for the occasion. Piper wanted to know she wasn’t just doing this for publicity. Sole was her best friend, and deserved closure after her horrific discovery.

“Whenever you’re ready, I want to start off by asking you what you want the Commonwealth to know about Shaun. Not as leader of the Institute, but as the son you raised.” Piper readied her pen, but Sole didn’t speak. Instead, she took a long drink, and played with the hem of her shirt. “Is everything okay, Sole?” Piper asked. “We don’t have to do this right now. Or we can skip that question. I have a lot of other ones that have more to do with you than Shaun.”

“I didn’t try hard enough,” Sole mumbled. There were tears threatening to roll down her flushed cheeks. “Shaun deserved a better mother. Nate deserved a better wife. The Commonwealth is too good for me, Piper. I couldn’t save my family, so how am I supposed to save others? I don’t deserve your friendship. I don’t deserve anyone’s love.”

Piper couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her usual reaction was to get dramatic. Sole half-expected her to jump out of her seat in hysterics for the pep-talk of a lifetime. Instead, Piper’s expression softened, and she reached out to hold Sole’s hand. It was softer than she thought it would be. “I have a new question for you. Strictly off the record.” She ran her thumb over Sole’s knuckles and hoped Sole couldn’t hear her heart beating violently in her chest. “Do you know how much I personally admire you? Because I don’t have enough paper to make an article on all that.”

Nick: Living in Diamond City wasn’t always easy, especially being a synth. Even though he found missing loved ones almost every week, the citizens side-eyed him when they thought he couldn’t see. Children pulled on his jacket when they knew they could out-run him. Women laughed behind his back after he paid them a compliment. Sometimes it felt like Sole was the only one who saw him as his own man.

As luck would have it, Sole volunteered to help Nick sort out cases when Ellie caught a cold. She knew he was more than capable of organizing his own work, but the two friends would make any excuse to spend time together. Nick handed Sole a folder about a missing woman. Her husband had come in a week ago asking Nick for help, but the case had eventually gone cold. “He was hysterical when he came in the office,” Nick recollected. “His eyes were red and swollen from crying. I’ve never seen a man more down on his luck. It took hours to calm Ellie down, poor girl. Seein’ a guy that worried made all our stomachs churn.”

“I wish someone cared about me that much,” Sole said. She continued to thumb through the file, not realizing what she said was unusual.

“What does that mean?” Nick asked. He took the folder from Sole’s hands, and she pretended to pout. “I’m serious, Sole. Why do you think no one would go lookn’ for you?”

“I’m not really worth it, I guess,” she said. “You have a purpose here in Diamond City. You do a lot of good for a lot of people, Nick. But me? All I’ve done is tear people down. Hell, I couldn’t even help my own son. You wouldn’t honestly risk your neck for me.”

Nick was partially insulted, but mostly surprised. He thought Sole knew how wild he was about her. He wanted to spend all his time with her either solving cases or drinking at the Third Rail talking about a better future for the Commonwealth. “Don’t fill your head with silly ideas,” he said. His face was stern, but his words were sweet. “I’d go to the ends of the Earth if I knew I’d keep you safe.” That was unexpected, but Nick didn’t want to take it back. It earned him a soft hand-squeeze from Sole, and an appreciative smile.

X6-88: Sole needed a break outside of the Institute after realizing Shaun was its leader. X6 was sworn to protect her, and didn’t hesitate to follow her back to Sanctuary. He had learned a lot about Sole from the excess time they spent traveling together. She cared about random settlers, even when they had nothing to give her in return. Whenever someone tried to hold her up for caps, she listened to their tragic backstories and was able to convince them to change their ways. Everything spoiled in the Commonwealth seemed to sweeten when she was around.

“FUCK THIS!” Sole’s shaky voice pulled X6 out of his thoughts. He readied his firearm, assuming they were under attack. Instead, he saw Sole kick over a trashcan. She was fuming. “He was the last person I thought I had left and he doesn’t even know me!” Sole was obviously talking about Shaun. Instead of trying to correct her, X6 let her vent. “It’s like he isn’t even my son anymore. He’s not the kind of man Nate and I wanted to raise. He commits genocide. He terrorizes the Commonwealth. And if he… if he doesn’t love me…” Sole used the back of her hand to childishly wipe her tears. “No one does.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” X6′s voice was cool as always, but his words didn’t match his usual demeanor. “You are a beacon of hope in this world. I have never seen you put yourself before anyone else. I am sure that as you and Father grow closer, you will come to realize there are many people who care about you.” A pause. “Including me.”

Bonus!Gage: Bloodied and bruised. It was how Sole always seemed to come back to Fitzztop Grille. Whether she was out scouting for the raiders or just got in a regular ol’ fight, Gage could expect Sole to be beaten to a pulp by the end of the day. As she stumbled in at the end of the night, Gage was already waiting at the top of the elevator. Except this time, Sole was hurt. Bad.

“Well shit, boss!” He was actually pissed off. It was hard enough watching Sole walk off by herself and straight towards danger every day. Gage didn’t know why, but he had this insatiable desire to protect her. Maybe he just admired her skills, right? But instead of greeting his friend with some patronizing words, he watched her hold her eye that was swollen shut. Sole’s clothes were ripped, and he could see bruises across her ribs. As soon as she stepped in to the room she stumbled forward. Gage hoisted her in his arms and carried her to the bed. “Did you let every raider south of Kiddie Kingdom take a crack at you?” He was trying to sound mildly annoyed, but the worry in his eyes was telling. Good thing Sole couldn’t see him with her blurry vision.

“I got jumped coming home,” she wheezed. Her voice sounded fragile. If Gage got too angry, he could shatter her. “Don’t w-waste… your breath on me, Gage. Just go home. I can take care… take… care of m-m-myself.” He noticed she was shivering. And since it was hot as balls outside, it had to be from the pain. “Nobody deserves to pick up my pieces.”

“Aw, shut the hell up,” he growled. “You’re so fuckn’ dramatic, you know that?” Gage pulled out the first-aid kit from behind the bar and rolled out some gauze for Sole’s wounds. “You already know I’m in your corner. So quit your crocodile tears and strip. It’s gonna take this whole roll to bandage your sorry ass up.” That was actually the kindest thing Gage had ever said to her. And even when Sole took off her clothes, he avoided looking her over. It didn’t seem fair since she couldn’t catch him. Where was the fun in not getting smacked by his favorite girl?

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leonawriter · 7 years ago

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hello!! do you have any ffvii fic recs? the sheer amount of fics there are is daunting to say the least haha...

Sure! And I agree, the fandom’s been around for a long, long time, so it can be hard to find things.

My personal preferences will show up here - I prefer non-pairing fics, but a few will show up, either because I do ship it, it’s canon (Zack/Aerith, for both of those), or I think it’s well written enough, and I can see where they’re coming from. Also, copious amounts of Cloud, Genesis, and Sephiroth... specifically, usually the kind where things work out okay.

The Fifth Act - Cloud has an accident with a Time materia, and finds himself in the middle of the Wastes at the start of the Wutai War. There are people to save... and for that, there are three people who need to die.

This was one of the first FF7 fics I read. It’s a time travel fic, and a really good one. It’s also where I had my first look at who Genesis might be if he hadn’t been in such a bad situation.

Mysterious - "General Sephiroth was last seen in the basement, reading. Beyond this, not much is known." - The Midgar Times.

This one’s a really nice short thing, canon divergence with a sort of open-ended hopeful tone.

Haunted - 'I will never be a memory' Sephiroth had been right. There would always be a piece of him lurking inside Cloud's mind, but it was amazing how even the most horrific existential terror could become mundane, and given long enough, even irritating. Small snippets of Cloud's everyday life, dealing with what was left of Sephiroth.

Okay this one is just plain silly, but it made me laugh.

Great Minds - Genesis does not want a student and Kunsel does not want a mentor. If they occasionally stand next to each other when voicing general pieces of advice that is entirely coincidental. A short story of an unlikely friendship that takes off despite everyone's best efforts.

Same author as the above, and somewhat more serious, but also has some damn good funny bits in it too.

Jukebox - Cloud had certain buttons that would always be easily pushed, and Barret would always jab them. Scene from sometime after Advent Children.

One of those rare Cloud and Barret friendship stories, and wow I loved how the author got them both down so well here. And the way that Tifa is characterised even in her absence.

Time Out of Mind - AU. Events at Nibelheim take a trip into the surreal, and old myths become more than legend.

I’ve seen a few fics that give Nibelheim some kind of importance or mythology, and this one really worked, with a sense of the additions mixing well and it feeling like this could have been a thing.

After the Storm - After all the crises, Tifa is slowly healing even if she has to do it alone. The red headed man in her bar is trying to doing the same. Together they may find more then just shared pain to escape but shared happiness to strive for. TifaXGenesis, set after Dirge of Cerberus.

There’s some nice buildup here, and we get a really nice sense of who they are and how much they’ve been through. I felt like there could have been more to add onto the ending, but aside from that, nice fic.

Gonna Need More Than Nine Lives - A year ago Reeve would have been thrilled—he'd created life! He'd torn down the supposed laws of artificial intelligence!—but now he was only deeply afraid.

Reeve's state-of-the-art surveillance robot has apparently developed a consciousness. In not-completely-unrelated news, the thing has decided it's fond of the terrorists Reeve's supposed to be fighting.

I love Reeve-and-Cait fic, and this is a great one.

The Wooing of the Moon - Starring Genesis as someone terrible at romance, Sephiroth as someone almost as bad and far more clueless, and Angeal as the stoically sassy ace friend. Featuring Zack as agent of chaos.

Okay this one is one I really enjoyed mostly because of the way that both Genesis and Sephiroth are clueless about how these things go in their own ways, and it’s essentially two chapters’ worth of them learning How To Communicate Feelings. Which is always fun!

Rust - Same author as above. Nanaki and Cloud friendship shortly after Advent Children, and has a great bit at the end regarding the Buster Sword.

On Broken Wings - Five years after Meteorfall, Sephiroth returns - the true Sephiroth, the man behind the monster. Traumatized and ill-prepared for life outside of the control of either Shinra or Jenova, Sephiroth nevertheless seeks redemption for the suffering and death he caused: starting with the man who was forced to kill him.

This is a great fic for a Sephiroth redemption storyline, is still a work in progress, although I’m reccing it mainly because it was the one that prompted me to watch Crisis Core for the first time. My main warnings are: Sephiroth is often given the ‘it wasn’t your fault’ talk/implications, and feels more than a little like his PTSD is more like Vincent’s than how I’d actually now write his, and... Zack takes the place of Genesis and Angeal. It’s still worth a read, though.

To Be Human - The world seems black and white at a glance, but the truth is never so easy. Where one draws the line between human and monster is a lot less clear when motive and deed don’t match, and a change in form is only proof of something that has been there all along. (Angel's Wings rewrite, Crisis Core fix-it.)

This is a massive fic, and although there were a few small things I wasn’t sure of, is overall still very strong. Canon divergence and AU where communication is the most important theme!

Counter Crisis - At first it was about preventing tragedy. For Cloud it soon becomes a fight to protect new bonds, tread untrod paths and find happy endings. Second chances aren't always easy in a time where ghosts live and heroes are human.

Time travel fic that’s still a work in progress and apparently it’s going to span three books, with later instalments introducing Sephiroth/Cloud, though the first one’s still mainly gen other than the Zack/Aerith, and the relationships are being built up really slowly, and really well, too - and not just between eventual romantic partners, either.

Building Bridges - Denzel has never fogiven Reno for destroying Sector Seven, but he’s never known the full story either. You could call this a plate drop fic with a twist, but that would be overdramatizing it.

I recced this fic the other day, and it is so damn good. Reno is characterised so well, and the ‘twist’ makes so much sense I’m tempted to take it on as my personal canon now. Denzel is also really well handled here.

I think that’s most of the main ones that I really loved that I could easily remember and/or nab the links for! If I find more, I’ll try and add them either in a new post, or onto this one. :)

#final fantasy vii #ff7 #ff7 stuff #answered #fic recs #Anonymous

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mxdmax · 7 years ago

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It’s been a year knowing you all and I can’t believe I’ve been able to stick by your sides this whole time. We are trash, a pile of garbage collectively. So now it’s time to let each of you know how much I love you and how grateful I am for Stranger Things to have changed my life.

@the-weirdo-on-maple-street: Em, my wife and life. Oh how I can’t believe how long I’ve been able to know you and appreciate you for. I am not lying when I say this but every time I see your username I get comforting nostalgia. I’m so grateful you were my first every friend on here and I can’t believe how supportive and beautiful you were (and still are) inside and out. Such a kind, caring and amazing girl. You always pop in to say hi and it feels like you were never gone because that’s how much you mean to me :) Thank you for all you’ve said and done for me. I love you! @eddiekaspbraks: Aimee, another one of my many wives. I don’t actually know where to start but i’ll spin a mental wheel and land on.... HOW AMAZING YOU ARE!! Legit I am so amazed by your talents, ability to speak up about what matters to you and stand strong. You inspire me in many ways :) I’m am always in so much awe of you and how you treat everyone of us. You are such an important person and no matter what happens I will always love you <3 I can’t stop smiling when I read what you talk about or say especially when you talk with allo. You two just joke around so much and it’s nice just reading it all even if I’m not a part of it. I and the group would be a mess, an incomplete puzzle without your beautiful self there.

@stevenrogers: omg Marvin, literal source of the title gain train (what a legend). Thank you for making every laugh, smile and relate to your memes and reactions in the chat. I don’t actually know how you do it so well. Thank you for putting up with me not understanding when you’re joking. Thank you for giving me insight into what it truly meant to ‘gain’. I know we don’t talk much with each other but when we do it’s all good things or me just being mortified. But legit man, you have such an amazing heart and I feel bad that I didn’t realise how truly truly caring you were until you talked to me that little bit about my aspergers and just let me know you understood on a unique level. You were the first person who i’ve told who looked back and was like ‘oh that makes sense now’. You gave me a very special moment in my life and that was one of understanding and pure friendship. So thank you for helping me grow as a person and thank you for being who you are, my best friend :)

@flea-and-the-acrobat: Sam! The man of the singing talent, fire jumping skills and already hopeless romantic even when you give up it’s still in there someone!! Honestly thank you for being my best friend, talking trash with me, lifting me up and just being so kind and caring. I know sometimes my advice sounds like an annoying mum or whatever but you make me feel appreciated when I say things like that. It’s been so wild getting to know you and um well know a bit too much about you .. *cough* but uh yeah. I know you will go far places my pal, keep pursuing what you want and I know that you will reach all that is meant to be reached for you. Thank you for always wanting to have conversations with me in it and asking questions and just caring about me. Not even just me, everyone. I see how logically you think about things and situations and you motivate me to try and be clear headed.

@reallylikeseggos: Alli!!!!!! my native weeb speaking, kpop loving little french fry of a wife. (I love french fries). Thank you for being you. Like I’ve never met anyone as beautiful as you. Like I could go on and on about how I think you came out of some butt kicking fairytale. I love how you do you with your interests and hobbies. You always bring so much life to the conversation and I can’t keep up or relate sometimes but it makes my heart so happy to see you happy. Sometime I feel like wrapping you up in a blanket, building you a fort and giving you all your lame as kpop stuff and protecting you from this cruel world. But I also feel like you wouldn’t need it because you are such a strong person. Yeah you have ‘flaws’ and all and may not see what I mean by you having such a strength but genuinely you stand up for what you believe is right. You stand up for your friends, speak to us all in such a kind and caring way when we are all down. I can’t believe that you exist and that you are my actual best friend. I love you so much Alli <3 @protectmike: CAITLIN (also known as caitsin when the party gets wild™) Girl I legit can’t handle you. But in a good way! You are so full of so much goodness that no one could be able to contain. You just burst out and hit us all with how amazing you are. You are drop dead gorgeous my girl. Your makeup skills art on a whole other level and I know you will succeed because what you do and who you are is unique and the world needs more of that in the industry you’ve created a hobby in. I’m so proud of you for every achievement big or small. I admire how you are so well spoke for like especially in discord, I swear I could listen to you talk about anything for ages. I love how the part never dies when you’re there because you just bring so much to the table. I really hope I can meet you one day. I know I’ll be beyond shy but I know you’re someone who’ll make me feel comfortable :) I love you more than anything cait!! Please never change ever. You’re too precious for this cruel world to make a mark on.

@richies-tozier: KYY!! Oh wow Kyy I just could write a book about you my love. Honestly thank you for being one of my best friends in this world. You are ethereal to me, a fairy in the form of a human, a princess without her tower. You are just so magical and mystical to me and I am in awe of you. I can’t believe I get to be your friend and love you so much!! There’s so much in this world that I wish I could hit away from you so you can live in peace. I hate seeing you hurt or upset because I can’t be there to give you a hug, buy you presents and make you happy. I also bet you make some amazing cupcakes despite the work part being a butt. I genuinely would go and do your work for you and still have you be the one who gets paid. Thank you for supporting me, caring for me and making me feel like I can always grow and learn and be a better person. You inspire me in so many ways and I wish you actually knew your worth. You are priceless. I admire you and love you so much <3 thank you for being you and thank you for being my best friend, my wife. @shesavedus: SYD! Hello my lovely angel and wife and best friend and over all just non existent, too aesthetic and cool 4 me. Seriously you are soo inspiring to me. I love how far you’ve come in this year. Seeing your photos, outfits, posts on tumblr, the words you speak etc is just leaving me always in a state of ‘wow’. Your voice is asmr legit :’) I could listen to you for ageeees!! I genuinely can’t wait to meet you one day and hang out with you. You are so important to me and I love you so so so much. I genuinely don’t think I can handle seeing you down or upset because you don’t ever ever ever deserve to feel that way. The world won’t always treat you right but we will always be here to talk serious stuff and dumb stuff with you <3 Thank you for all your amazing selfies, tutorials, hacks and overall A+ personality. You my friend are such a beautiful soul and I love you so much and it’s ridiculous.

@themikewheelers: TORI! I have such a special place in my heart for you. I know sometimes I just stare at my screen and just question everything you’ve said and if you’re okay haha but seriously you’re so amazing to me. I genuinely forget you’re not my age. I can’t believe I’ve been able to be your friend for a year now! And you better have it drilled into your heart C <3 T :D I am so so so proud of you for how far you’ve come in life despite all the struggles you face. I just want you to remember all you go through is temporary, you won’t always be stuck in this certain place in life and I can assure you it’s always worth fighting for. I don’t know where I would be without you. I adore all that you are. You are such a beautiful person. Seeing you on my dash makes me so happy. I am of course jelly about the amount of asks you get but I sit here and I think ‘wow she deserves all of this, yes you go talk about theories and make people imagine and get excited about such an amazing show’. I wish I lived close to you because I would constantly want to go places with you and take silly photos. One day I hope. I LOVE YOU!! @bill-denbroughs: SHELLY!! Oh wow you are one good looking woman and I just adore how beautiful your smile is. You can light up the room with a simple hello and everyone is just so excited and happy to know you are there and ready to bless us with your words. You’re so kind and caring to everyone. I am honoured to be able to call you my friend and I hope that never changes. I dream to adventure disney land with you one day. I know if I ever go I would want to be with you the first time :) You better know that I love you so so so so much and I adore everything about you!! You’re so supportive of everyone and you make everyone feel wanted and loved no matter what. I hope you never stop sending selfies and updating us on what it is you’re currently up to. To me you are such a down to earth and level headed person and I am so proud of you for just being who you are in this world. So don’t you ever stopo being you okay <3 I love you!!!

#gain train #tori #shelly #sydney #aimee #emma #kyy #marvin #sam #alli #caitlin

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calix-daesyn · 8 years ago

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Thank You All So Much

Calix Daesyn: 400 Followers

Lotus-of-Noxus: 460 Followers

I remember when I first came to the tumblr rp community a little over two years ago. I had no idea how to get started. However, I had been reading a lot of stuff by @prodigal-ezreal and their RP partners and I missed roleplaying so badly that I knew I wanted to jump in. I couldn’t decide who to play though: I had never played canon characters in any rp - and while I thought about trying my hand at Ezreal I just wasn’t sure. So, I made Calix. And he has evolved a HELL of a lot since then.

It has been a bit rough getting into rp, I’ll admit. When I first made Calix I decided to try and take the advice of a lot of people and just start sending things out. About 80% of those were never answered or I received a ‘sorry I don’t rp with OC’s’ or jus t ‘no’. But some people answered and we soon started having a great time.

A lot of people I started RPing with just aren’t really around any more. Like @cutthroat-diplomacy who was my first SERIOUS ship (with poly allowances of course) for Calix and a great RP partner. @axesrevolution has always been wonderful and a great friend for Calix @timeforatruedisplayofskill helped me get into RP so much, welcoming me readily. @soulreaverdraven did the same and answered my asks and helped boost my confidence early. @spirit-of-an-exile I’ve seen more recently, but not as much - but still her riven mama was the guidance Calix needed and often ignored and got in trouble anyway but she would still sigh and call him bambi and pat his head. Someone who I’ve seen around more recently, but still not much: @the-malevolent-rose I loooove all your interactions with poor Calix. He may have danger kink and monster boyfriends but even he stays ten feet away from Rose when he can. Like I said, they aren’t really around any more, but I’m still so grateful. And there are a ton more I haven’t mentioned. I don’t want this to become a huge wall, just everyone know how much I appreciate everything.

Now on to some people I interact with today all the time:

@uncle-touchy-lich You are such an amazing writer, artist, rp partner, and friend. I can’t express how happy I am that we clicked. I started following you and was so amazed by your Karthus and wanted so badly to RP with you that I reached out cautiously expecting kind refusal and instead I found someone who was excited to rp with me. I couldn’t believe someone with such a great muse and such great ideas thought my writing and my character were compelling. I’m so happy we started RPing and even happier we started to talk as friends. I adore you and your lich and all your work and characters and I hope we can continue being buddehs for a long time.

@thelanternwretch You are so fkn awesome bruh. Starting with your character and your RP - I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Every dark twisted thing, every vodka thresh moment, every truly horrible villainous thing Thresh says, all of your history and your writing - I just love it. And you the mun are an amazing, sweet, beautifully twisted humor-having person. I really do consider you a friend and I am amazed that you like writing with and talking with me and I thank you so much for the interactions and for just talking to me.

@thecrimsonexecutioner Bab I know you feel insecure about some stuff some times but let me be the tell you that you are AMAZING. Your art is SO GOOD. Your characters are SO GOOD. I love writing with you and talking with you. You are awesome and your muses are fantastic. <3

@cervantestheferryman Dude bro bruh friendo you are a cool ass muthamuffin and I’m glad to see you back and active again. You’re great to rp with, great to build characters and AU’s with, and great for a fun time. Thanks for taking an interest in my bb’s and giving them good bruises.

@thefallenstarchild We don’t really RP, but I just want to note how much I love your Soraka and your art and just how sweet you are. Every time you answer something from Calix it makes me smile so much. <3

@definitely-not-altair You are one cool dude!!! I love watching your streams and reading what you do with Talon. Thank you for ever answering anything I send you from my Kat you are an angel. I really adore your writing and your art and we don’t talk or RP much, but I really appreciate that you put up with me at all lol.

@ace-of-spades-ezreal OOOAH YOUR BOY IS SO GOOD KAT WANTS DAT - ahem. Anyhow. I love your art, your writing, your character and I love every interaction between Ace and Kat - just so so so very good. And I love reading your interactions, your character building, just so much. You are one shiny muffin, acey.

@hook-and-chains Bab you are lovely!! <3 We don’t talk as much but I love your Threshie and adore seeing you on my dash!! <3

@morose-deserter You are such a sweetie and so is your Seryn bab and I loooove talking with you - in RP, in messenger, just everywhere. You are so great <3

@cup-cait Thank you so much for all the entertainment and for trying to keep Kat in line keep trying I believe in you bab. <3

Anyhow I should probably stop there before I take up everyone’s dashes completely. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to everyone I want to thank, but please know that I appreciate you all so much and I just love that anyone follows me at all. When I started Calix I couldn’t believe I had twenty followers - and now I have twenty times that.

Thank you - so very much.

#long post #thank you

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fesahaawit · 7 years ago

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10 New Fintech Companies To Watch Out For! (Plus Highlights From FinCon 2017)

What up, y’all! Just got back and sobered up from our financial blogging conference, and thought I’d share some of the highlights from it.

Namely, the handful of new financial companies that were part of our yearly fintech competition I helped judge! It’s always so interesting to see how people use technology to solve our problems out there, and just like last year’s competition this one did not disappoint.

But first, gotta give it up to PT Money for organizing this amazing event each and every year (it was my 7th one attending!), as well as to all the other bloggers who volunteered their time to make it happen. If you’re a $$$ blogger or podcaster or just plain obsessed with personal finance, you NEED to come out to it one year and experience what it’s all about! I promise you will leave incredibly motivated or I will shut down this blog forever ;) (Or at least buy you a beer to cry into – hah)

So what happened at FinCon 2017?

Here are a few of the more exciting highlights… Because good luck telling social media people that what happens at FinCon stays at FinCon! ;)

Rapper Dee-1 crowd surfed while rapping his hit song, Sally Mae Back (Crowd surfed! At a financial blogging conference!)

Best selling author David Bach (of Automatic Millionaire fame) popped in to share his wild story on getting on Oprah for the first time, and how the Latte Factor is “not about the damn lattes!” Haha… Rebuking the hate he so often gets when people say they will never give up their coffees no matter how sexy compound interest is ;) He may or may not have also dropped a few F bombs on stage showing that he is definitely not one of the more stuffier financial “experts” out there. Super cool to run into him around 1 am on the last night too to talk shop! (Interesting fact: he’s fairly short)

Darren Rowse shared his story of how he became one of the world’s first professional bloggers when one of his camera reviews went viral over night. He’d later go on to start two majorly successful blogs, including the one most bloggers are familiar with and learn from: ProBlogger.com

Chris Guillebeau of The $100 Startup and The Art of Non-Comformity talked about how it’s perfectly okay to let a side hustle be just that – a side hustle! There’s no rule that you need to turn it into a full-time job if you’re perfectly happy with your current one. Just let it be your creative outlet while you bring home some extra side money! (I agree with this 100%!! Not all of us are born to run companies!!)

Cait Flanders held a presentation on writing Rockstar content that was packed solid which we think/hope went over pretty well! Interweaving the back story of Rockstar Finance and how it’s evolved over the years as well. (Cait curates it with me, and is one of my favorite bloggers on the scene)

A bunch of people from our community created a parody of The Office called The Floor which was shown at our annual blogger award ceremony and was downright HILARIOUS. Then ended with a surprise live musical performance by American Idol contestant Dalton Rapattoni! (It was all about the music this year, haha… Thx for putting it together, Scott Alan Turner!)

And lastly – we had one pretty damn fun Halloween party to wrap up the conference! Erik from The Mastermind Within said it best: “it was hilarious to see people with $1 million+ net worth’s singing Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back”.” Haha… That’s how we roll! If you can’t live it up, what’s the point of all that money??

As for the best costume of the night? I gave it to this guy. Can you tell why? ;)

(full back story here – he totally shaved his head for this!!)

Other interesting gems pertaining to yours truly: I randomly got interviewed in the bathroom, and I was presented with the International Blogger of The Year award from UK’s SHOMO awards. Where I then made an acceptance speech that included “Long live the queen!” which I thought was pretty clever? ;)

Now to the Fintech Competition, and the 10 new financial companies to watch out for!

As I mentioned, I was one of the two judges for it again this year, where our ratings made up for 50% of the votes with the audiences’ making up the other 50%. We awarded two prizes for the night – $1,000 for first and $500 for 2nd – and below are my honest opinions of each, along with what they do. I’m not getting compensated by anyone listed here, and there are no affiliate links included at all.

Follow along and see if you can guess who won! :) In no particular order:

Agreeable (AgreeableApp.com) — Agreeable was one of my favorite apps who presented, and was built to help solve the problem of no shows whenever you go to meet someone off Craigslist or Facebook. Whereas currently you’re just $hit out of both luck and time when the buyer/seller doesn’t show up, with this app you’d actually get *paid* an agreed upon amount if anyone bails, ensuring that it’s in both parties’ interests to make the scheduled time. There were some privacy concerns I first had with this as it tracks both of your locations to confirm that the two sides made it to the meet-up okay, but after talking w/ one of the founders at a party afterwards I was impressed with their patent-pending solution to this. We’ll see if this puppy takes off, but I’m personally rooting for it to! (Also can be used for soooo many other areas in life too – imagine if Comcast or other services were forced to pay you if they never show up when they’re supposed to?? We’d all be rich! ;))

Birch Finance (BirchFinance.com) — This app was another killer idea, which I SWORE already existed but I guess not (a good sign that they’re onto something!). Basically, you tell Birch what credit cards you have and use, and then it’ll analyze them as you’re out shopping and tell you which ones to use to reap the *best* rewards, as well as *how much* you’ll get back by them, rather than you having to guess all the time. It’ll then show you other cards out in the market, and compare what would have happened had you used *those* cards instead of the ones you currently have. And since it’s all based on your specific transactions and spending patterns, you can see first hand exactly what your cards – or future cards – are worth to you. A pretty epic tool for any card hackers/lovers. (I’ll never use it since I’m a minimalist with just my one USAA card, but I’d be allll on it if I were in the rewards game!)

Budgit (BudgitApp.com) — Budgit is an automated budgeting and savings service that organizes your bills and spending so you can save for your goals. I tried real hard to figure out how these guys were different from all the other budgeting apps out there – and even posed the question during Q&A time – but even after doing so I was honestly still just as confused. They actually have this question posed word for word at the bottom of their website (“How is Budgit different?”) but the 3 answers given were “No ads ever”, “Hassle-free”, and “Secure and private.” Which I’m pretty sure most apps are?? All that said, as a budget guy I don’t think you can have *too many* apps out there spreading the good word, so I very much wish them all the luck and success as they can get. (PS: This app is not the same one as BudgIT)

College Backer (CollegeBacker.com) — These guys were pretty cool as they help get people to gift their child 529 contributions instead of more toys and “stuff.” Something I very much try to do every year too and rarely succeed! ;) And while like Budgit I couldn’t pin point how exactly this service is different than the others out there on the scene (there’s quite a few who let families and friends jump in to make this happen), I did like the general purpose of it and hope they take me up on my recommendation to pair these gifts with some sort of physical item too so the kids don’t totally hate opening up the gift of 529 funding, haha…

Honeyfi (Honeyfi.com) — Honeyfi is a new app *for couples* that makes sharing your budget and managing your money much easier together. Which I absolutely love! Honeyfi allows you to collaborate, link accounts, and even message each other at any time through the app so everyone in the relationship can be on the exact same page. There’s not many apps I can think of that focuses mainly on couples (actually, I can’t think of one?), so I’m really hoping this one takes off as I think they’re onto something good here… Budgets are even sexier when TWO people are involved!! ;)

KINFO (GoKINFO.com) — KINFO is an app for DIY investors that brings together information from hedge funds, insiders, analysts, bloggers and other private investors so you can see what everyone else is doing along side you. Particularly bloggers which the founder seems most excited about as it helps put all of our personal recommendations into one spot for people. Though as many of you know mine would look pretty boring as it would only show one fund: VTSAX :) I’m not sure if looking at what others are doing adds more or less noise into the decision making process (probably more?), but then again I was influenced to go All In with Vanguard from my peers so it could prove to be a pretty helpful resource.

Squeeze (Squeeze.com) — Squeeze is an app that helps you save by finding the best deals, promo codes, and coupons directly related to your current spending. It sounded a lot like the others in the field so I had a hard time putting them into their own special bucket, but needless to say you can’t have too many coupons in this hyper consumer world of ours… And as for branding, they absolutely NAILED it. Some of the other fintech names were pretty random!

Take Command Health (TakeCommandHealth.com) — These guys won my personal award for the best presentation, if only for the inclusion of photoshopped Trump and Obama pics littered throughout :) But their app was def. no joke. In a nutshell, Take Command helps you easily find the best option for health coverage by using big data to help source the best, and cheapest, health care options for you both on and off the exchange. They also shared the release of their small business feature which helps companies offer better and cheaper plans to their employees as well – something that many places are struggling hard with right now. So while the topic of health insurance typically doesn’t turn heads (at least for good reasons!), these guys had our immediate attention and I wouldn’t be surprised a bit if they hit a home run with this.

Qoins (Qoins.io) — Do these guys look familiar?? They should! I featured them here last year the second I came across them because they’re the FIRST to finally apply “rounding up” technology to debt!!! Which is something severely lacking in our industry… And while I had to recuse myself from voting on this one since I was definitely biased (they donated $$$ to our Community Fund over at Rockstar Finance), I was beyond pleased to see them here and thought they gave a great presentation. You can find my review of them here (I was the first ever blogger to share them!) but in a nutshell they round up all your transactions to the nearest dollar, and then uses the spare change to help pay off your debt every month. It won’t clear all of it, but every $30 or $40/mo helps!

WizeFi (Wizefi.com) — WizeFi is a paid app ($8/mo) that helps organize your finances, analyzing everything from your assets and liabilities to your insurance and spending habits. Once hooked up it’ll then estimate your future net worth if you continue spending the way you’re currently spending, and then compare it to your future net worth if you follow your custom WizeFi wealth-building plan. It comes with a super slick interface and the focus on net worth of course turned me on, but at the end of the day not too sure that alone is worth the $8. Especially since it doesn’t physically *move* the money for you like Digit or Acorns does and still requires you to take action (which most people won’t). I was also turned off by the mentions of an affiliate program for customers to make more money, both in the presentation as well as on their website (it’s prominently listed as the #3 reason to sign up?!), even though I’m sure the founder meant well. Overall would have been better if you had the chance to test out a free version, with an option to upgrade later to “pro” or something similar if interested…

Alright… Ready to guess who won?? Any really stand out to you??

Here were the 1st and 2nd place winners after all the votes were tallied up:

Birch Finance

Take Command Health

Honestly though, ALL of these guys came out winning as they not only got to pitch in front of tons of $$$ influencers and enthusiasts, but also landed on this illustrious blog here!!! Haha… Surely that’s worth at *least* $10.00 right? ;)

So congrats to everyone who participated. I wish I were smart enough to come up with my own money app! If you want to take a look at last year’s competition and results, you can find that here: Fintech Competition 2016

Next Year’s FinCon Event…

If you can believe it, plans are already in the works for next year’s conference! If you’ve always wanted to visit Orlando, Florida – now’s your chance! We’ll be partying it up with Mickey next year :) Learn more and pick up tickets here: FinconExpo.com/2018

So there we are – another great conference on the books :) THANK YOU thank you THANK YOU to everyone who came out and put up with me over the weekend! It was a blast hanging out with my 2nd family in the flesh, and I wish you all a most successful next year.

Special shout out to the following who really made me smile throughout: Chelsea Norton, Cait Flanders, Steve Adcock, Jim $, Shin, Bobby Lee, Pete McPherson, Latoya Scott, Fritz, Hélène, Hannah Rounds, the Tiller Team, Miss Mazuma, Optimal Finance Daily, John and Sharon Duffy, Shannon Austin, The Dumpster Dog, Miss Thrifty, Maria Nedeva, FIREcracker, and Romeo Jeremiah.

See y’all in another 11 months!

10 New Fintech Companies To Watch Out For! (Plus Highlights From FinCon 2017) posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

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heliosfinance · 7 years ago

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10 New Fintech Companies To Watch Out For! (Plus Highlights From FinCon 2017)

What up, y’all! Just got back and sobered up from our financial blogging conference, and thought I’d share some of the highlights from it.

So what happened at FinCon 2017?

Here are a few of the more exciting highlights… Because good luck telling social media people that what happens at FinCon stays at FinCon! ;)

Rapper Dee-1 crowd surfed while rapping his hit song, Sally Mae Back (Crowd surfed! At a financial blogging conference!)

A bunch of people from our community created a parody of “The Office” which was shown at our annual blogger award ceremony and was downright HILARIOUS. Then ended with a surprise performance from American Idol contestant Dalton Rapattoni! (It was all about the music this year, haha… Thx for putting it together, Scott Alan Turner!)

As for the best costume of the night? I gave it to this guy. Can you tell why? ;)

(full back story here – he totally shaved his head for this!!)

Now to the Fintech Competition, and the 10 new financial companies to watch out for!

Follow along and see if you can guess who won! :) In no particular order:

KINFO (GoKINFO.com) — KINFO is an app for DIY investors that brings together information from hedge funds, insiders, analysts, bloggers and other private investors so you can see what everyone else is doing along side you. Particularly bloggers which the founder seems most excited about as it helps put all of our personal recommendations into one spot for people. Though as many of you know mine would look pretty boring as it would only show one fund: VTSAX :) I’m not sure if looking at what others is doing adds more or less noise into the decision making process (probably more?), but then again I was influenced to go All In with Vanguard from my peers so it could prove to be a pretty helpful resource.

Alright… Ready to guess who won?? Any really stand out to you??

Here were the 1st and 2nd place winners after all the votes were tallied up:

Birch Finance

Take Command Health

Next Year’s FinCon Event…

See y’all in another 11 months!

10 New Fintech Companies To Watch Out For! (Plus Highlights From FinCon 2017) published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

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mxdmax · 8 years ago

Text

Follow Forever (2k Followers)

So recently I reached over 2,000 followers pretty quick. So I’m going to list my favourite people here on TumbleWeed with a special message. Please don’t be upset if you’re not on this. I love my mutuals but I want this to be for those who’ve personally become much more than a mutual. So here we go (alphabetical):

@ajgemmell21o1 : Thank you for being here with me since pretty much the beginning. For letting me share my story with you as you did with me :) we aren’t super duper friends but you are more than just a mutual to me. Thank you for brightening up my life a little bit more with your existence on my dash!!

@ashy-le-mashy : Ash, Ashy Bear. What can I say? You girl are one beautiful and talented human being that I have been blessed to meet. All the struggles last year brought I am so glad I could be there just to lend a hand out to you. Thank you for wanting to get to know me, talking to me and just being the beautiful you that you are. I will always be here for you no matter what!! Keep doing what you are doing lovely. Because what you’re doing is spreading so much happiness into this world that we need more of. Life isn’t easy but you’re a fighter.

@asyasyakura : To this beautiful sister right here, Asalamu Alaykum! Thank you for always spreading smiles and positivity into my life. You are one of the cutest sister I’ve met and your smile just lights up my heart. May Allah continue to grant you ease and reward you for the good you are putting out into this awful world. May we meet one day in Jannah.

@bichaelwheeler : Thank you for our conversations and the cuteness that is your whole existence!! For calling me the moon that one time and making me smile when I didn’t feel like it on certain days. We don’t talk much anymore but you’ve made a stamp on my heart and I will always consider you such an amazing friend!!

@byeers : Liz, my lil donut. You are such a wonderful friend!! Thank you for allowing me into your life and just letting me be there for you whenever you were in a time of need or comfort. Not a lot of people would be so easy to let some stranger help them out. You are so talented, strong, beautiful and kind. Your writing ability astounds me. Your creativity that you’ve put out onto the internet that I’ve been able to read or view is a blessing. Your strength to push on through your struggles at home and school inspire me so much. Thank you for being my friend and for letting me into your life. I truly admire and love you.

@cherrysconesandtea : Jay. omgosh, Jay. You are one magical and adorable human being. Human? Hmm you seem more than that to me. I don’t know much about you personally but I do know you as a friend who’ve I’ve gotten to know about (interests ect). I can tell that you’ve been through a lot but you’ve allowed it to shape you into someone who is so full of kindness and caring towards others. This I admire so much. You create your own path, you push on through, you conquer the struggles this life offers. You are someone I admire greatly for just how you treat others. I love you so very much!!

@eggogorgon : Blake. Blakepedia and also Blaketopia (coming soon 2020). Thank you for sharing all of the memes, being a source for all the memes and just living your meme life. You have been the reason for so many laughs and smiles I have produced on this silly face of mine. I am in awe of your natural talents with this new found gif making. Your edits have me in awe. Never stop doing them!! Keep being the amazing you Blake :)

@elevnns : To the beautiful blue. Keep being the amazing you. Thank you for the multiple deep convos where we have been able to connect and share. Oh boy oh boy you are one tough cookie with a soft exterior and interior. With the right amount of tough in between to send the bad bouncing away. You’ve a lot to conquer still but I can see you pushing through. You are a grace that walk this earth. You don’t understand your overall beauty and softness that all of us else see but one day maybe you will, I hope so. Keep pushing on, keep being the strong and soft you :) I am always here for you, Oh and I expect to see you get over to hobbiton and send all of the pictures :’)

@flea-and-the-acrobat: Sam, HEY!!! Oh wow what can I say about you? Um ... just that you are flipping amazing!! I have been so blessed to have stumbled upon your existence in this world that is Tumblr. Wow. I love talking to you. There’s never a dull moment and you are such an interesting, uplifting and intriguing person. I love how excited and happy you get over things that are your passion. I’m always so eager and happy to talk to you when we are awake and online at the same time :D Never change the unique you!!

@fortheloveofeggos: Lauren omgosh. Honestly you are a blessing to see on my dash! I love you personality so much!! You are a walking and living aesthetic :) We aren’t very close in terms of talking and getting to know one another but you are a part of my life, you are my friend and someone I would miss if you ever just randomly disappeared. Thank you for always showing me kindness. Especially when I’m being silly and gushing over how amazing of a human being you are. I love you so so much :) keep being yourself. I love and admire how you keep trying different things with your hair and I love your style :D

@hothmess : Thank you for being the beautiful you :) I’ve loved being able to just talk with you whether it be about ST, Reylo, personal things ect. You’re worth so much more than how anyone has ever treated you. I honestly wish I could just see you in person and give you the biggest hug. I love how despite the past you’ve been able to push through the bad side of tumblr that’s been pushed onto you. I love how we could connect over such simple things. I admire your strength and how beautifully unique you are compared to others I have met on here. I wouldn’t want you any other way :)

@icywinchester: Keeley!!! Thank you for sticking around with me since the beginning :) yeah you’re blog has changed but I still love knowing and seeing you on my dash :D I do worry sometimes that you’re not feeling the happiest. I notice your posts and wonder. But you’ve shown me in different way just how you’re managing to just push on through life. I think you’re just one of the few people who just gets it. That despite life being sucky sometimes that there’s more out there to be admired and explored and living for. Maybe I am totally wrong and read wrong but I just get those vibes from you. Keep being the amazing and beautiful you lovely <3

@promiseleven: Oh hey there the beautiful Kyy!! Oh wow. I could go on and on about you :) but all in a good way of course. Honestly I want to just take you away from this cruel world, wrap you in a blanket, pop on a movie and protect you forever. You are such an adorable lil angel. There is none out there worthy enough of you and your golden heart. I love being able to talk to you and it’s been amazing having you as one of my friends :) I wish I could give you the world but that would never be enough for what you deserve.

@protectmike: Cait :) Ahhh the makeup queen who can do such beautiful art work on simply just her face!! Gosh you are naturally such a beautiful being but I love seeing even more of your personality and happiness come to life when you put on your makeup. I love the passion and joy it brings you. You are such a funny, caring and bright girl. I also want to whisk you away from everyone and protect you. You are deserving of much more than what you’ve been handed in life but I can’t ignore that the bad leads us to the good. Despite wanting to always protect you and never have you cry again. Thank you for giving me so many smiles and laughs. I love your stories and your cute accent!! Ahh you are such an amazing friend and I wish this year treats you better <3

@raesberri: RAE BEAR!! LOVE OF MY LIFE!! PRINCESS!!! AHHH!!! Thank you for being a blessing ot my whole entire flipping existence! I love you so so much :) You are such a cute little aesthetic muffin and I adore you with my whole heart. I love being able to message you and Reeda everyday. You’ve been a bright light in my life ever since I met you. One day I wish we can meet and I can give you all the hugs you deserve. There’s not enough words that exist to be able to type the gratitude and love I have for you. You are my best friend. You are so genuine and real and yet so unreal!! I love you so so much!!!

@reallylikeseggos: ALLI!!!!! The first time I saw you on my feed was because of your dang beautiful selfie! I can’t believe we’ve actually been able to talk and become friends. I thought you were just too cool for me :’) I love seeing yo uon my Tumblr and Insta. You are so funny!! I wouldn’t ever want you to change, you’re too precious :) I love you so much and I will always be here for you!!

@reedstrangerthings: REEDA! Wow I honestly don’t even know what to say. Out of literally everyone I’ve met no one has come close to how much you have touched my heart and helped me grow as a person. You have literally become my family and a part of my life on such a more meaningful level than just someone I spoke to on tumblr. I’m trying so hard not to cry while I write this. You’ve been there for me more than any of my friends ever in my life have. You’ve shared so much wisdom and love I can’t deal. I’ve learnt so much from you in such a short time. Because of you I have learnt, loved, grown and been able to make a life changing friend. You’ve opened up your arms and heart to me in such a selfless manner. The conversations I’ve had with you I can’t have with any other friend. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I can’t believe I’ve been able to find a genuine best friend and family member because of a TV show. You are my world <3 I will always cherish and love you. You will always be in my Dua’s. If we can’t meet in this Dunya, I hope we can meet in Jannah. I could write a whole book about you but I need to stop here before I ball my eyes out Wallah.

@shesavedus: syd!! Thank you for becoming my friend :) I love hearing about your passion for photography and bands. How they’ve shaped you into the beautiful being you are. I’ve never met a real life tumblr girl, living and walking aesthetic goals that literally everyone envies and says are ‘goals’. You pull of such a unique style but at the same time it’s just your own. I admire your care free personality and your creativity that just flows wherever you walk.

@spideymans: MARVIN :D omgosh!! Thank you for being an amazing friend!! Honestly never in a million years would I have thought we would actually talk and be friends. You’re iconic :) Thank you for teaching me about those gaining and shedding seasons if I remember correctly :’) !! I’ve learnt more about the Gym life from you than anyone else whose been a ‘gym enthusiast’. I can’t help but always admire one of your edits when I see them on my dash. They are beyond quality and talent. Overall you’re just an amazing and talented person. You’re such fun to talk to :) You deserve the followers you have and so much more!! Thank you fro being one of my closest friends :D

@strangehorcrux: SHELLY!! Ahh you’re such abeautiful and nurturing soul. I love you so much and thank you for all the beautiful pet pictures in the group chat :D I have to stop myself from jumping up and down every time you post a picture!! Thank you for being such an amazing person and a quality friend!! You’ve been quite the blessing to my dash and my life :)

@telekineticeggos: Tele!!! I cannot comprehend how someone is so adorable such as you are!! Not only that but the talent you have with your drawings :O I cannot fathom I know someone as beautiful and creative as you are whose able to make something as awesome as what you do!! That probably was confusing but in summary, WOW! Thank you for being in my life, for being my friend and being someone I’ve been able to get to know <3 I will always be there for you no matter what :)

@the-fifth-movement: Oh hey there <3 Thank you for getting to know me and letting me get to know you :D I know we’ve only recently started properly talking but I’ve had the blessing of you being on my dash for a while now and I have no regrets about that :D I love how you compliment me on a whole other level every time I post a photo :’) your kindness is something I admire and adore more than anything!! You are so unique and I love all your styles that fit what you are feeling no matter what day :D you honestly slay. You’re such a beautiful being!! I love you so very much! :D

@the-weirdo-on-maple-street: Em!! Thank you for being the first friend I have ever made here on Tumblr. I was shook™ at how kind you were to me from the get go. You are such a beautiful soul and it’s been a pleasure to get to know you and call you my friend :) you’re always there for everyone and I admire you for how open and loving you are just naturally!! Thank you for all you’ve done and helped and motivated with me. I will always be here to do the same for you!!

@themikewheelers: Oh Tori, my daughter. Yes you’ve said some very ... very weird things but I love you so very much. Your voice just makes me smile and I love hearing you rambling and talk about things. It can get quite interesting, sometimes disturbing but it’s quite the experience :’) Thank you for being an amazing girl. I also would like to steal you away from all the problems you face in this world. I can’t believe the disgusting things you go through due to other people in your life. You never ever ever ever deserve that! I don’t want anyone touching you unless it’s to give you a consensual hug. I love you bunches <3 I will always be here for you!!

#personal #I love you guys so very much!!

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