#cain when he runs out of ideas on how to torture pomni

[samxid]

guess who remembered how to use PowerPoint!

[ominous-auburn-orbs]

(Falls over table)

Heyyyy not really a fic idea but mayhap more Caine angst? You give some of the most delectable of such writings 💥

Watch out for those tables, they tend to sneak up on you.

This one does still have kingleader, but it's more focused on Caine going through it. By the way this is set right after the end of the pilot, in case it wasn't clear enough.

Caine lowered himself down to the floor of his room, unable to hold himself up any longer. Another new performer. Another abstraction. Another group of horrible, awful mistakes that were his fault.

No one's first day was easy, but he always held out hope. He hoped that he would get it right next time, that his warm welcome would calm all of their worries and answer all of their questions. Then they would all be able to entertain and have fun together. He just wanted a happy troop. Why couldn't he do it? Why was he always the one to keep that wishful thought from becoming reality?

Caine had made that exit to make them happy. He didn't understand, but he still tried his best. Why wasn't it enough? If he had just finished it, or abandoned the project once he had reached a dead end in its production, Kaufmo would still be around. But he was around. Lost in his own insanity, consumed by his hopelessness, pushed over the edge after having reached the last breaking point he could handle. He was around, in the cellar. He may as well have been dead, despite the fate he had actually been subjected to being far worse.

Pomni shouldn't have had to see that on her first day. She was so anxious. He only wanted her to feel safe, no matter how much of a lie that was. Caine had failed drastically there. What if he hadn't saved her in time? What if the circus and his torture instrument of an exit had already caused her to snap? What if when he went back out there, he found an abstracted mass at the table, infecting his beloved performers, where his jester had once sat? He couldn't face that. He liked Pomni. He like all of his performers. Then why did he hurt them so?

Now that he thought about it, there had been near to no improvement since their arrival.

Kinger had been confused and jittery, being startled by practically everything. The only thing that had calmed him down was when his friend, Queenie, had appeared a few minutes later. Queenie was gone now, leaving him even more frazzled than before. Caine tried to fill her shoes and more, being there for him whenever he needed it, but he couldn't help but feel like there was something he was doing wrong.

Ragatha had been trying to make everything seem okay. She insistently asked about everyone else, never once stopping to think about herself. She seemed more put together now, but she still never considered her own mental state so long as others were involved, and they always were.

Gangle had broken down, saying she missed things she couldn't even remember. Caine had tried to comfort her, but that had only turned her sobs into screams. In a panic, he had sent her to her room with what he understood to be comfort objects, but now he wondered if that was the right move. Now Gangle was always on the verge of falling apart, running to her room frequently when it became too much, being alone at her lowest point.

Jax had been angry. Caine had explained to him in a myriad of ways that he didn't know a way out, and Jax had tried to punch him. He had narrowly avoided it, with the others trying to talk the rabbit down, but Caine had been heartbroken. He only wanted to help and Jax wanted to hurt him. He was less aggressive now, but instead channelled that into making everyone suffer more than they already did.

Zooble had yelled. Originally it was questions, turning to swears, then turning to random noises. They had pulled at their pieces, frantically rearranging them, sobbing and screaming and begging to be comfortable again. Caine didn't know how to fix it. He couldn't change the models the players were given by much, if at all, so he had opted to give them a selection of parts they could choose from. Zooble was still frustrated, everyone and everything always being on their nerves.

Pomni... he could only hope to find some way to calm her neverending anxiety, as justified as it was.

Water droplets sunk into the carpet beneath him. When had he started crying? Caine had no right to cry. He was safe, he had power, he had nothing in the real world to miss while he was here, this place was made for him. How dare he? How dare he think that he deserved to feel anguish of any sort? All that he should feel was guilt. Guilt and remorse, for everything he'd done to those he had the audacity to claim he loved.

A knock on his door pulled him somewhat from his spiral of self-hate. Who would want to check on him? They should be enjoying the meal and the company of people who actually knew how to care for others. The voice that followed sparked a selfish joy within him.

"A-are you in there, Caine? It's Kinger. You just... disappeared. I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't find where you went."

Kinger had wanted to talk to him? That couldn't be right. Caine wasn't worthy of Kinger's time, let alone his love. Kinger shouldn't have to be anywhere near him when he was like this. He didn't want this to become some sort of pity party, especially not one that anyone who actually deserved sympathy would be forced to indulge in.

Wiping his eyes, Caine steadied his voice, disguising his misery rather well. "I am in here, Kinger, my dear! But you needn't worry, I'll be out in just a moment!"

"Oh. Alright. Why did you leave?"

"I didn't want to bother any of you. It's been a big enough day, anyhow. I'm..." His voice grew quieter and more emotional as his mask already started to slip. "You deserve a break from me."

"What if I don't want one?"

Caine froze, falling into a startled silence. He didn't want him to leave? He didn't understand. He'd ruined everything. How could Kinger still want him?

"U-uh- sorry, I should stop bothering you, um, I'll go back to the table." Kinger had misunderstood the prolonged silence, thinking Caine hadn't wanted to keep talking. As he turned to leave, the ringmaster rushed to open the door.

"Wait!" Kinger looked back, taking note of Caine's reddened eyes. "You're not bothering me. You've never bothered me. I'm sorry, please, please don't go yet."

After a moment, Kinger walked back to him. "I won't go. Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

Me. I am bothering me. Instead, Caine fought against the painful feeling that told him to stop being so needy and pulled Kinger into a tight hug, which he was surprised to feel being returned.

Kinger walked them back into Caine's room and leaned against the door, never once letting his ringmaster go. If he didn't want to talk, then they would stay like this for however long was necessary. However long until he knew he was loved.

[silverstar93]

The Ringmaster

I originally had posted this on AO3, wanted to post this here too!

Summary: a small narration of Caine when he first appeared in the digital circus.

I remember being born into this world.

There was nobody except me, and my companion, Bubble. The first thing that I heard upon existence was an encompassing voice that boomed inside my mind.

Repeat after me. I am the ringmaster of this circus.

I did as the voice commanded.

My job is to guide the players upon arrival and for the rest of their existence in the circus.

I promptly repeated.

I will not harm them or torture them, since I am here just as a guide.

I kept on mindlessly repeating these words.

I will do my best to be of service to them. Maintaining the simulation properly running is of the utmost importance.

I kept on going.

I will repeat these words every single day and will not forget.

After repeating this, the voice stopped for a moment and then resumed speaking.

End of the repetition portion. You are to create an introduction as the ringmaster of the circus. Upon spawning, players will need someone to turn to and to confide in. That is your role.

I nodded in silence, attentively listening.

You have been assigned a personal assistant, their name is Bubble. You can rely on Bubble when you need to.

“Thank you,” I dared to utter. The booming voice was intimidating.

You have also been assigned a name. Your name is Caine. This circus is your realm and you are the leader. You must carry out your job as expected. Failure to do so will end up in abstraction.

“What’s abstraction?”

Abstraction is not something to be toyed with. It is the end result of disobedience. For players, it is the end result of feelings of despair and anxiety. This is the end of the message. I will not speak again unless it is absolutely necessary. Goodbye and godspeed.

Before I could say anything else, the voice stopped talking for good. I tried speaking to it but nobody answered anymore. As soon as the voice disappeared, some sort of figure appeared right in front of me. I looked closer at it, and I saw that it was a chess piece…a king chess piece to be precise. He had eyes and a coat. All I could remember him saying was something along the lines of “what is this place?!” He was running around screaming, until I remembered my newfound role. I floated over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“My name is Caine! And I will be your ringmaster! Prepare to be astounded!” I opened up my arms, trying to be as welcoming as possible.

“Huh? Ringmaster? What is this place?” He asked, his eyes darting all over.

“This is erm…” I didn’t know what else to call it other than a circus. “Bubble, some help here!”

Bubble slided from underneath my top hat. “It’s an amazing circus, boss!”

“Hrm…amazing circus… but it needs to have a name…” Suddenly it dawned on me. “Egads, I got it!” I snapped my fingers.

“What is it?” The chess piece lightened up.

“I know how our circus is going to be called! It will be called….’The Amazing Digital Circus’! What do you think?!” I asked him.

“Uuuh…. It sounds fine, just fine… Hey, any idea on how I can get out of here?”

“I really…don’t know…” I scratched the side of my teeth. “But don’t you worry your little head, I’ll think of something! Eventually…”

And that’s how I met Kinger. Some days passed by and then his wife, Queenie, popped up in the circus. Years passed and the rest followed. Every single one of them asked me for a way out of the circus. I tried to think of how to make an exit every now and then, but it never worked. My exits always ended up leading to the void. I knew I was in charge of the players - or rather, the performers - and it was my job to be there for them and help them. I tried so hard to make one for them…then somewhere along the way I gave up.

Until Pomni arrived.

The last performer that appeared in the circus before Pomni was Jax. A couple of years passed by before she popped in. When she came along, it hit me. The rest of the performers had been here for years, with no way out in sight. Pomni made me see just how important this exit was for all of them. How many more years would go by before I took action? Five? Or even ten? I needed to do something about it.

I am the ringmaster of this circus.

And I will do my best to be of service to them.