#c) codependency is care and support in the same way that crunch is productivity and love for videogames as an art form | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-moogle-of-your-nightmares · 2 years ago

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i gotta say that i'm grateful for food metaphors because a) they make What Codependency Actually Is way, way easier to explain, and b) they give enough of a buffer to explain said things without delving too much into gory details of one's personal experiences

#moogletalks #i am in the process of writing up a very long post about this. some highlights are:#a) codependency is not loving commitment. it is the opposite of loving commitment #codependency is not about being more than the sum of your parts together; it is not about keeping each other fed #it is about cutting off parts of yourselves and each other; it is about depriving yourselves and each other of food.#it is inherently about making you and your relationship /less/#b) codependency is a huge spectrum of traits; features; power imbalances; intentionality; toxicity vs abuse; and direction of the abuse #but what all of it has in common comes down to that.#c) codependency is care and support in the same way that crunch is productivity and love for videogames as an art form #d) why the fuck would you /want/ to do that to someone you love. why would you want to be a part of that process #e) on the flipside: why the fuck would you /want/ to taint someone's love for you by making it into a runaway train #and forcing them to watch helplessly as you park your car on the tracks in front of them and call it love #which. i /do/ know why. it fucking sucks so much and it's so hard when it feels like that's what love is. i've been there.#it's not. i promise you it is not. you deserve better and your loved ones deserve better; and better exists #f) people are unbelievably fucking cruel to codependency survivors and their allies who try to speak up and educate about the harm of this #because they want to sound cool and edgy and counterculture; and coo about their ships #and get clout off of dumbass '''profound''' aesthetic posts about devouring each other and living in a bog because it's Romance or whatever #instead of actually taking any responsibility for knowing what words mean and thinking about the things they say #because they didn't like the tone of some survivors who called them on it and therefore everyone who does is ~cringe~#g) the irony of this is that you stupid motherfuckers sound like people saying 'teehee i stepped on a leaf the intrusive thoughts won!!!'#there is zero difference here. none. you are being that guy.#and it is not any less harmful /or/ embarrassing when you are doing it to codependents instead of people with OCD #you're just embarrassing yourself on tumblr instead of tiktok #i am begging you. learn to take correction. just take the L #and admit that getting all your life advice from bogposts on tumblr is as dumbshit as doing the same with buzzfeed mental health listicles #abuse cw #ableism cw #codependency cw

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