#c; shiloh

[tulirps]

"You again? i've seen enough of you already."

The aftermath of Beckett's attack amounted to nothing short of catastrophe. The attack itself was brutal and chaotic, undeniably shifting everything about the way their faction functioned. Prior to Cain's arrival, Shiloh had worried about just how safe the Arts really were. She'd put on a brave face and assured them that nothing could get past their defenses when worried voices begged for reassurance. She enforced every protocol she could think of, checking, and then checking again to prevent something like this from happening. After Cain came, she'd been sure they were safe. With his help, bad things weren't just unlikely to happen; They were impossible. Unfortunately, conviction wasn't enough to keep people safe, and Beckett executed his plan almost flawlessly. They were still clearing bodies from the halls and creating plans to execute the loose Zs that still roamed their building. If the physical damage hadn't been bad enough, the mental damage would surely break them. Before Shiloh could manifest determination and bravery, sufficient to fool everyone around her, and some days even herself. Now, she was unnerved and afraid. Shiloh knew that Beckett wasn't lurking around, and neither were his goons. However, she still found herself checking over her shoulder each time that feeling of unease settled in her stomach.

Cain had helped with that fear and discomfort. She tried not to think about what would've happened if he'd listened to her-- if he hadn't abandoned his post and come to rescue her. When she'd started screaming for him, it hadn't even been intentional. His name came tumbling out of her mouth without a second thought, and he'd come running just as instinctually. Having him around had always made her feel safer, but after the attack, it was like Cain was the only thing keeping her from crumbling. After a while, though, that comfort had evolved into smothering. Shiloh thought she might suffocate with how anguished he was to be near her. She could remind him that things had been fine before he arrived, that she had a gun and knew how to use it, but it was pointless. Nothing could convince him that she'd be safe, with or without him, so he'd resolved to never leave her side.

The realization of how bad it'd gotten only hit her when he refused to let her stay behind on a supply run. They needed medicine, and he'd refused to go without her. It didn't matter that the trip was dangerous, that she'd be at greater risk by his side than at home. He wouldn't go if she didn't come along. Though it pained her to leave their faction alone, defenseless and afraid, she'd gone. Without those supplies, people would die, and that would just be more buried on her behalf, so she'd gone.

Seeing how crowded the medical faction was made her lip tremble and her knees weak. If anyone had thought the Arts were bad, it was nothing compared to this. Bloody people missing limbs and groaning were laid out on the floor. It was so crowded you had to be careful where you walked, or you'd step on someone. The smell of blood and rot filled her nostrils, and it took all the strength she had not to cover her face to dull the scent. Shiloh followed Cain through the hall mindlessly, eyes roaming the various faces distorted in pain. She'd only snapped out of her stupor when Cain had started raising his voice.

Tommy was unwilling to give them supplies, already struggling to keep up with the sudden intake of patients. They didn't have anything to offer, and without a bargaining chip, Tommy had no reason to help. "I'll donate blood," She chimed in, "I'm a universal donor." It had always been Tommy's go-to trade; she knew her blood was even more valuable now. He'd agreed, reluctantly, and she'd been strapping herself into that chair ever since. She always gave more than she should've, and they needed it so badly they were willing to pretend she wasn't. It'd been fine at first, but now it was starting to get to her. Her arms were so bruised she couldn't stand to look at them, wearing long sleeves despite the heat. It didn't matter, of course. She was always cold and shivering, even when the people around her were sweltering. If the physical problems weren't bad enough, the mental ones plagued her. She struggled to keep her concentration, dizzy and exhausted most days. Cain often had to repeat himself, and she was beginning to worry if he was questioning her competence. He'd been feeding her vitamins and iron supplements like it was candy, but even then, it could only do so much.

He questioned her lightly at first, worried she was giving too much, but it'd developed into a legitimate worry of his. Shiloh denied there was anything to it, ensuring him that she was just eager to help. At first, her offer had genuinely been to get the supplies they needed, but it'd evolved into something more. Shiloh blamed herself for the many people who died in the attack. Her defenses had been broken, her protocols hadn't saved them, and her incompetence had killed them all. Donating blood was an easy way to assuage that guilt, even if it was only temporary. It also offered Shiloh a chance to feel normal again. Though a different nurse was there every now and then, it was usually JC who took her blood. The nature of their relationship had been quite different before the outbreak. Silly schoolgirl crushes and fluttering hearts. Now, he was the only one she felt she could talk to without needing to pad her words or pretend she was handling this better than she actually was. The time away from Cain helped, too. Even now, he was posted outside the door, waiting for her to be finished. The first couple of times, JC had offered to let him in the room, insisting she had someone to talk to while they took her blood. She always countered that he was company enough.

Shiloh was waiting for him now, leg bouncing in anticipation. When the door opened, she half expected it to be Cain, but was put at ease when she saw the familiar face of her favorite male nurse. "You again?I've seen enough of you already," he teased with a smile. Her laugh was quiet, more a breath through her nose than anything else. JC's eyes glanced over her, spotting all the small details about her that indicated she was falling apart. "You look..." he trailed off. "Like shit?" she offered with a laugh, "Yeah. I feel like it too." Her sigh was heavy, head resting against the chair she'd gotten so used to sitting in. His pouty mouth flattened out in response, brows furrowing in worry. "Are you getting enough iron, Shiloh? It's really important that you do if you're going to keep donating like this" JC questioned with sincerity. She rolled her eyes, not so much at him, but the humor of it all. It wasn't like they had an abundance of options in the apocalypse. "What do you think? I get what I get and just have to hope it's enough." She shrugged.

He offered her quiet while he went about preparing his tools. Shiloh decided to close her eyes and rest for a moment while he got everything taken care of. Nowadays, she needed to take every moment of rest she could get. He'd startled her, only slightly when he was back and ready. Her eyes snapped open, worried she'd done more than rest her eyes, but if she had, he kept it quiet. JC used a washcloth to clean the area where he'd pierced the skin, causing her to wince as pressure was applied to the bruises. They'd run out of antiseptic for small procedures like this a while ago, so old-fashioned soap and water would have to do it. He offered her an apologetic smile when she winced a second time as he tied the tourniquet around her upper arm. She didn't bother looking as the needle pierced her skin, not because she was afraid to see it, but rather because it had become such a routine now that it was nothing new.

JC finished up, stripping the latex gloves from his hands and throwing them in the trash can. He sat down beside her, something that brought her comfort even if he didn't say anything at first. He was quiet for a while, but Shiloh didn't mind. The silence wasn't uncomfortable but rather peaceful, something she rarely felt these days. When he finally broke the silence, she could hear the worry in his voice. "How are you? Really, Shiloh?" He asked. She could feel his eyes on her, but she refused to look. She couldn't be met with another sad face, couldn't be forced to pretend she was okay for their sake. "I'm tired, man. I'm really tired," she mumbled, the corner of her mouth tugging to the side. Her eyes burned, tears threatening to well over. She couldn't remember the last time she'd cried, and GOD, she needed too. Instead, she forced that feeling back. Time for crying could come later. When her gaze met his, she'd plastered a fake smile onto her face, appearing more like a grimace than anything "But who isn't tired? Right?"

[mamahoggs]

it's a game i play and i hate to say— you're the worst thing and the best thing that's happened to me.

[silkjade]

🧵, please~

Thank you so much for doing this, Jade! 🌼💚 I don't really have a preference, except I like feminine stuff and bright colors 💕

for beloved shiloh, the tallest sunflower in the field, who has absorbed so much sunlight tht it’s reflected onto your blog ! and so …. this is me taking field notes of your warm disposition ♡

send a 🧵 to my inbox for a couture look based on your blog (mutuals only)

[sorbetkisses]

"i don't do this whole dating thing , i rather not waste my time . you probably suck ."

[esmemaxwcll]

Closed starter @shilohsharma Location: driftwood coffee

"I know I've been a terrible friend, I just been stuck between studying on animal anatomy and watching trash tv," Esme said with a slight pout towards Shiloh. She managed to finally get a break from studying to hang out with Shiloh which she realized she desperately needed a break from. "Anything new happened with you?"

[thankyoufortoday-if]

A is such a beefy person!!!

Who are the big spoons and who are the little spoons out of the ROs?

they are! 😍🥰

little spoon August/ine, Stacy

big spoon Enver, Riley

doesn't care as long as they get to be a spoon Opal, Max, Shiloh

[hekcart]

Thinking about him again

[xwildheart]

@intonightcity cont. from here

'Oh don't do that.' Shiloh huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and turning away from the dark haired woman. 'Don't act all sad. You made it perfectly clear what I meant to you, so yes I think you did want to hurt me. To shove me out of the way so you didn't have to share any of this new life your living.' whether or not it was a dream come true, Shiloh had always thought she would be part of that dream with her. 'I don't have anything more to say to you. You wanted to act like we didn't exist. Don't be upset that I'm giving you what you wanted.'

[aliceism]

closed starter: @ohsercndipity​ / shiloh when: frat party because lol where: pi kappa alpha

Frat parties weren't a feature that factored heavily in Alice’s daydreams about her future in college—late nights in the art studio were, as was going to class in her pajamas and soft-spoken boys wearing corduroy blazers. But boisterous, intimidating crowds? Not so much. And she didn’t think that getting into a frat party would be such an ordeal, either. There seemed to be an unspoken dress code, and the boy currently standing guard at Pi Kappa Alpha’s front door had eyes that lingered heavily at every girl’s chest. Alice wore a high-necked tank top that covered the entirety of what he was looking for, and Shiloh’s outfit didn’t exactly scream girls gone wild! either. But thanks to a loud, distracting disturbance inside and a mad rush to the door that was extremely reminiscent of a salmon run, they managed to eke their way inside.

One hour later and Alice wasn’t any closer to surrendering to her surroundings, but no one had kicked them out yet. In front of a keg, empty cup in on hand, Alice eyed the tube that stuck out from the top with a look of quiet hesitance. In the summer before sophomore year, she and Shiloh snuck a couple hard seltzers out from a cooler during a crowded outing at Walden pond. They’d gotten giggly. It felt pretty nice. Between then and now, there was also a few cups of a different flavored Smirnoff mixed with three different fruit juices at cast parties for their high school’s drama department (usually in Beau Eastbrooke’s fully finished basement). That had made her feel dizzy and sick. Beer was something she’d only had once or twice before, but in those instances it made her feel like an adult. Or maybe not an adult, but definitely older. Like someone who wasn’t her, or maybe a cooler version of her. But it’d never come in this form. “Okay, so. Theoretically, I definitely know this should be simple but I still feel like it’s third grade again and Mrs. Schlotszky just surprised us with a times table pop quiz,” she started. It was a memory still held with a deep sense of residual anxiety. Alice beckoned toward Shiloh. “Pass me your cup, I’ll fill both. But if this backfires and I end up covered in beer, you’ll just have to blink once and you’ll lose sight of me.”

[carlos-pereria]

Carlos raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he leaned back in his chair. “Perfection’s a heavy crown to wear, Shiloh,” he said, his tone casual but thoughtful. “And hey, needing a drink to loosen up? You’re not alone there. Everyone’s got their thing.”

He nodded toward the stage with a chuckle. “But bombing for street cred? That’s some next-level reverse psychology. You might be onto something, though. Fail spectacularly, and people know you’re the real deal.” He paused, glancing at the menu in her hands. “So, what’s it gonna be? A cocktail for courage or are you already plotting your next move?” @shilohsharma

"Oh I always expect perfection, but that's mostly out of myself. Might be why I have to drink to have fun -- not exactly a healthy coping mechanism," Shiloh self-diagnosis self with the tilt of her head, but it's not enough to stop her from plucking the cocktail menu from the table to look it over.

"Please -- the best street cred you could earn is going up there and absolutely bombing. Then people know you're here for the love of the game."

@carlos-pereria

[viciousins]

his phone remained lock in his grasp the entirety of shiloh's session , but his gaze failed to maintain the same permanency . adonis couldn't help but take the opportunity to study his competition , noting the crease that forms between brows when she's stuck or the way her face lights up when she smooths out the problem . he wasn't admiring , certainly not . he was studying . observing . there was a difference . he waits by the door , holding it open — the session had come to an end & adonis had lost track of what time it was . ' not a bad effort tonight , ' he states , words almost sounding like a compliment . ' i get why you're catching everyone's attention . ' @fallenstcr

[honeyedblossom]

closed starter for @prcttyvxnom ( utp )

"I swear if you're back to tell me how to do my job, you'll find out just how skilled I am with my tools," she barked as she heard the chime above the door, turning toward the source, fully expecting the client she'd just dismissed. "Fuck," Shiloh cursed under her breath when she saw it wasn't the same misogynic man. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

[phoebekeller]

"Okay, that's fair. I wouldn't have expected you to dance around your living room for the sole purpose of testing the hot glue's efficacity," Phoebe concedes, taking this entire ordeal far too seriously. "Another fair point. In that case, I'll help you look for it." As if the thought of not helping Shiloh had even crossed her mind. "When's the last time you saw it?" @shilohsharma

"Well as to your first question -- I assume I didn't use enough hot glue to properly secure it. I don't think I danced vigorously enough to truly test it before tonight," Shiloh wagers thoughtfully before moving on to part two of the question.

"Must it have a purpose beyond tonight? I thought it might make cute holiday decor for the future. But really I just worked very hard on it."

@phoebekeller

[sorbetkisses]

"you have to wear this out tonight ! i know it's not typically your taste .. but your tits will look great ."

[kohaive]

[ archive: 07/22 ]

[thankyoufortoday-if]

What about the ROs sexual experience?

August/ine has probably the least amount of sexual experience of the ROs. the experience they have come mainly from one long-term relationship, with their only other partner a one-night-stand.

Enver has had a lot of experience and a lot of sexual partners, some of them repeat partners and quite a few one-night-stands.

Max have not had a lot of sexual partners in zir life, but zir relationships have never lacked for sexual intimacy. among the ROs, Max has the most experience thanks to zir age, but in general, ze's on the higher end of average amount of experience for someone zir age.

Opal is among the more experienced of the ROs, she enjoys sex and had both long-term partners and one-night-stands.

Stacy has an average-ish amount of experience, with most of xir wild experiences being from xir late teen/early 20s when xe was at uni and having fun.

Shiloh has some experience, but not a lot. they enjoy sex with the right partner, but it's also not the most important thing to them in a relationship.

Riley prefers only being sexually intimate with romantic partners, so their experience is fairly limited, on the lower end of average maybe.