#c:/starblobs/rb

[emojistargloww]

guys look go check out my friend and her emojis!! :D

Hrt emojis. Lots of Hrt emojis. There are so many trans flags. Another batch is coming soon.

[goldstargloww]

so im part of the mcyt community, so i thought i should probably say something

trigger and squick warnings for death (more specifically, death of a content creator), swearing, and sentences ending with periods as i know that can be uncomfy

also, warning that this might end up being a rant post

so, technoblade died,, and honestly my thoughts on this are very confusing.

before i say anything, i'm sorry if i come off as insensitive. my empathy fluctuates, and death is something i find very hard to be empathetic for. it's okay to cry. it's okay to be upset. it's okay to grieve. i want everyone to know that. /gen /srs /symp

first of all, i'm an immortal alterhuman. my perception of life is that all life is eternal - something or someone can't just be alive at one point and not alive at another. death doesn't make intuitive sense to me, and is really hard for me to comprehend and conceptualize. i also don't know the 'default' difficulty for this.

so,, when i found out techno died, all i got was a sinking feeling in my chest. and no, that wasn't grief. it was apprehension, because i knew i wouldn't like the internet talking about it. and that feels so fucking selfish hdjgs

the reason i dont want the internet talking about it is because i'm an empath. although i can't feel emotionally sad for someone dying, i'll involuntarily feel the emotions of others. and, with my coping mechanism being logic, it sends me down the path of "why am i feeling like this?" because of empathy. ..and i can't do anything about that.

it spirals into "these emotions aren't mine, i can't comprehend death, how the hell do i fix this? please take these emotions from me, they aren't mine, i can't comprehend this, what the fuck do i do?!"

and then when i calm down, i feel guilty. because i don't care about techno's death, right? no, of course i do - techno's amazing and it's sad that he's died, but,, i'm not upset, at least not emotionally, and while i logically care and am upset about it, i don't have an emotional response that's mine. the only reason i might cry over it is because i'm empathizing with others the only way i know how.

tldr?:

i guess what i'm trying to say here is that everyone experiences grief differently, and having a "welp, there he go" response like i have is perfectly valid (or,, at least i hope so hsfdjgk)

you're not a terrible person (or whatever you are) for not having an emotional response to this or any similar situation. you're also not an asshole for not being able to even understand or comprehend something, and therefore being in some sort of weird state of simultaneous acceptance and denial like i am, if that applies to you.

,,,if i could get some validation on this, or just a general validity check, i'd like to know it's not just me experiencing this because i feel guilty and selfish as hell and knowing i can't control it isn't enough ^^" /lh /nf

[goldstargloww]

honestly may as well do this so uh take things

wil rb on all my other blogs as well :>

@goldstargloww - main account, mainly just me saying things

@emojistargloww - i make emojis here sometimes

@liomstargloww - liom stuff, i sometimes coin things

@gold-collecting-things - my identity hoard :>

@artstargloww - my art :o

tags:

#c:/starblobs - anything we post

#c:/starblobs/gold - anything i post

#c:/starblobs/gold/gold saying stuff - me saying stuff

#c:/starblobs/gold/coining stuff - me coining something

#c:/starblobs/gold/coining label - me coining a label specifically

#c:/starblobs/gold/coining flag - me coining a flag specifically

#c:/starblobs/gold/emoji - an emoji i make

#c:/starblobs/gold/wordmoji - a wordmoji i make

[goldstargloww]

kinda gives me passive watcher vibes if that makes sense

huuuuge fan of the.. headcanon? …theme? in mcyt/mcyt fanon that belief is power

when gods are only gods because of peoples belief in them. how that belief changes them.

i love interpretations of e2!joel that are like this, im loving interpretations of bdubs becoming the “god of the sun” on empires and then that Changing him. Like, fundamentally

i dont personally headcanon jimmy as a toy or anything but i do like the headcanons where. Once people put up big wallpapers and statues and say it all the time. Once people, mostly joel i guess, believe it. Jimmy starts Changing. Becoming what people believe of him. Because of the power of belief.

how belief in the power of something changes you. changes that thing. how things have so much more meaning and power when you Care about them. bdubs and the tree of whimsy lore and ren and the crown as two recent hermitcraft examples, with how power possesses you. empires is always full of this, a million examples im sure.

in a meta sense i think its such a pervasive theme bcos of the nature of minecraft Roleplay right like.. of course belief is power, the audience have to Believe in the story itself. Everyone has to Believe in how much say, some music discs, really matter. To the characters And to the audience yknow. Its minecraft, the only things that matter are what you Make Matter. When builds and items have meaning and story attached to them they become so much More

[goldstargloww]

im alr :D

Hii, I just wanted to notify you that a blog you interact with called @gaydrianlol or @word-emoji-ooo-lol has been exposed for supporting endos. I don’t know your stand on syscourse but I just wanted to inform you anyways. If you want proof(I have actual screenshots) feel free to contact me!

mate we're literally traumaendo ourselves <3

[goldstargloww]

ah yeah im good i just dont really use tumblr as a main platform lol

and yeah i had a pretty good day :D hope you did too ^^

Hii, I just wanted to notify you that a blog you interact with called @gaydrianlol or @word-emoji-ooo-lol has been exposed for supporting endos. I don’t know your stand on syscourse but I just wanted to inform you anyways. If you want proof(I have actual screenshots) feel free to contact me!

mate we're literally traumaendo ourselves <3

[goldstargloww]

we're a lot more active on discord :> you can dm if you wanna friend each other on there ^^

Hii, I just wanted to notify you that a blog you interact with called @gaydrianlol or @word-emoji-ooo-lol has been exposed for supporting endos. I don’t know your stand on syscourse but I just wanted to inform you anyways. If you want proof(I have actual screenshots) feel free to contact me!

mate we're literally traumaendo ourselves <3