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Independence Day special: Some of the most ridiculous laws in India

So many countries with so many strange laws, most of which we’ve all heard of. India isn’t far behind, though, when it comes to having some downright outdated or silly laws on the planet. 

Most of which won’t impact everyone in the country, but you still have to think about it and go, “Hmm.” Maybe followed by a facepalm. 

This 71st Independence Day, here’s a list of a few of those weird Indian laws that you should know, lest you find yourself laughing your way to lockup at some point.

Kite Runners beware. The Aircraft Act, 1934 declares negligent kite flying as an offense punishable with two years of prison or a fine of Rs 10 lakh. According to the Act, kites are considered as an aircraft and the same laws that apply for planes are applied for flying kites as well. So in a nation that holds events for kite flying, remember, it’s all under “expert supervision”. Never thought kite flying would have a disclaimer attached, didya? 

Public celebrations. Prevention of Seditious Meetings Act, 1911 states it is illegal for more than 10 couples to dance together on a dance floor. According to a law formulated in1911, no public meeting or discussion of any subject likely to cause disturbance or public excitement or for the exhibition or distribution of any writing or printed matter relating to any such subject is punishable. In case, to hold such a meeting, a written notice of the intention, time and place of such meeting has to be acknowledged to the District Magistrate or the Commissioner of Police at least three days prior to the event.

More than two kids. This applies only to Kerala. Like China, there is a law here prohibiting families from having more than two children. A little more lenient on the form of punishment than China, thankfully, parents are slapped with only a fine in case they do go ahead and have a third child.

Women are not adulterers. This funky law of Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code was drafted during the 1860s under British rule when men used to have more than one wife and women had little rights. Although, if you look at it, it almost seems like women have more rights in this regard. According to the law, a man can be jailed for cheating on his spouse but women can basically be with any number of non-husbands as they want without any legal action being taken against them.

The Indian Post Office is the be all and end all of delivery. According to the Indian Post Office Act, 1898, it is illegal to send letters through any other service apart from the Indian Post Office. Realizing that we don’t really send handwritten letters anymore for whatever reason, imagine one day all our online deliveries, express posts and official documents just relying on snail mail. Federal Express my ass!

Drums are to be beaten to drive away locusts. The East Punjab Agricultural Pests, Diseases, and Noxious Weeds Act, 1949 requires citizens of Delhi to get out on the street and go crazy showing off their percussion skills in order to ward off locusts. So next time someone tells you to keep it down in the middle of the night, claim to have seen a locust flying about. It’s your duty to create a racket in the interest of public safety. Good on you!

Andhra Pradesh’s Motor Vehicle Department. The Indian Motor Vehicles Act, 1914 pretty much states that the most important qualification one needs in order to be an inspector in Andhra Pradesh is to have good teeth. Go figure. When was the last time you saw one of these guys smile? I mean, really smile. Remember, though, they all must have some killer incisors hiding behind that frown.

Male Adoption. The Indian Majority Act, 1875 allows men to be able to adopt a child at the age of 18. Remember what you were doing at 18? I’m guessing nothing responsible, and probably a bunch of stuff that’s actually illegal – drinking, skipping voting day, promising everyone who smiled at you that you’d marry them – Well, all you’re legally allowed to do at 18, however, is adopt a child. Wow. Apparently it’s too much responsibility to be able to get married and share a toast at your wedding at that age, but if you feel like looking after delicate human life you can go right ahead. However…

Gender specific adoption. The Hindu Adoptions And Maintenance Act, 1956 makes it illegal to adopt a child of the same sex as one you already have. So in case you want to start off early in life and go all Genghis Khan, grow your own army and take over the world, be warned, the system is trying its best to make it really hard for you to do that.

Varying legal drinking ages. Indian Alcohol Laws are pretty cool! Every state has its own take on when a human being is mature enough to handle his/her booze. Again, most states think you’re old enough to vote for a government, but not old enough to handle a drink. But fret not, just drive down to a neighboring state and you’ll probably be seasoned enough to sit with the big boys. Let’s be honest, though, do they really even bother at clubs and pubs anymore?

Suicide…Attempts. Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code states you’re your useless self will be locked up for a year if you fail to kill yourself as you planned to. Overlooking the fact that they don’t give enough importance to physiological counselling and eliminating the root causes for mental diseases, the Indian government believes that putting you through a walk of shame in handcuffs, a trial and then a year in prison is a good way to punish you if you don’t value your life and sadly want to end it all. That is, if you don’t succeed at it. Geez!

(All images from Getty Images or Social Media)