#bynuagedemots

[nuagedemots]

Alone on Halloween - a Steddie ficlet

October 31th, 1971

Little Steve is sitting down on his front porch, his tiny fists closed, his eyes filled with tears. A few drops fall on his knees, his blue jeans absorbing the liquid without leaving a trace. Around him, kids his age are enjoying themselves, dressed as ghosts, vampires and others ghouls. Not him, though. His parents are way too busy to buy him a costume, let alone coming with him trick-or-treating. They left him alone, alone in this big house they brought with their big adult money, with a big pantry where no candies can be found, even on Halloween night. And even if his father has told him a million time he shouldn't cry, because crying is only for girls and pussies, he can't help it. He cries his stolen childhood, his innocence crushed by parents that had a kid because it was what good people were supposed to do. He cries, because it's the only thing he can do.

October 31th, 1981

Steve doesn't like Halloween. Never had, as long as he can remember. But of course, he's still invited to all the themed-parties the cool kids of Hawkins are organising to celebrate the night, and of course, he has to go to maintain his social status in school. He's King Steve, after all. People are expecting him to act a certain way, and if it's the only way for him to be accepted, he'll do it in a heartbeat.

The music is loud, people are laughing and dancing and making out on alcohol-stained couches. Girls are wearing angel wings and devil horns with lot of glitters and sequins, while most guys have made the bare minimum and put on their favorite sports jersey, proclaming they're dressed as famous athletes. Steve is near the bar, drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. Around him, there are teens he calls his friends and girls that visited his bed more than once, but he's alone. After all this time, after all the sacrifices he made to be the person he thought people will finally love, he's still alone. He's not crying about it anymore, though. He's simply drinking, drinking so much he can't feel pain and sadness and misery.

October 31th, 1984

He knew that sooner or later, Nancy would break up with him. Why would a girl like her, so smart, so beautiful, so perfect, fall for him ? He's destined to be alone, after all, his own parents rejected him - he's simply not good enough. He can't blame Nancy for calling their relationship "bullshit". It's better this way.

This night, when he finally come home and fall into bed, without even taking his clothes off, he has a nightmare. It's becoming quite ordinary, these days. Flashes of monstrous creatures and the kids he grew to love dying in his arms, flames, ashes, blood, despair. He wakes up in a cold sweat, as tired as he was the night before. Thank god, october is finally over.

October 31th, 1985

For the first time ever, Steve isn't miserable on Halloween night. Robin is at his house, they're watching an horror movie and eating sweets. Of course, Steve pretends he's not scared of Freddy Krueger and his claws, he flinched only because a fly was bothering him. He lets her paint his nails and he listen to her complain about her disastrous love life - but hey, can it be any other way in Hawkins, Indiana, for a lesbian teenager in 1985 ? He cannot stop smiling while she's rambling again and again about this girl she has a crush on but who's also desperately straight. And when the ring bells, when he sees Dustin and Will and all of the gang dressed as various pop-culture characters he doesn't seem to remember the names, shouting "trick or treat" before dashing inside without any permission, he feels like crying. Not out of sadness, like little Steve on his porch, but out of glee and gratitude. Maybe he can allow himself to be happy for a while.

October 31th, 1986

It's been 7 months since they saved the entire town from Vecna. The people of Hawkins don't know that, of course, still believing an earthquake hit and people had died from this terrible event, but they know, and maybe that's the most important thing after all. Eddie has been cleared of all his charges by Hopper, who has regain his place as sherif, and everything has returned the way it's supposed to be. Robin had asked Steve if he wanted to join her and Nancy for Halloween but he didn't want to be the third wheel - besides, the kids should come over after they're done collecting candies around town. Knock knock. Maybe it's them.

- Hey, Stevie, says the voice when he open the door.

And here he is, Eddie Munson in all his glory, long frizzy hair, big brown eyes, and devilish smile. He's wearing fake vampire teeth and -ohmygod black eyeliner. His right hand is on his hip, while his left is hanging on the doorframe, like he's been waiting on Steve for a while.

- I heard you were alone on Halloween, so, I decided to come grace you from my presence.

The "vampire" grins, and his fake canines escape from his mouth - he tries to put it back quickly, but it's still pretty ridiculous. Steve laugh, and the little frown Eddie began to wear fades. It's beautiful, when Steve laugh. They come inside, and the laughter continues. It fills the big empty home with sun and warmth. The boys talk all night, and sometimes, somewhere behind the wall of the Harringtons big house, they exchange a first kiss - more like a promise. The promise that Steve will never be alone at Halloween ever again.

[nuagedemots]

A goddamn superhero - a Spidey!Steve Steddie fanfic (part 1)

Eddie was walking home quite late in the evening. His job as a tattoo artist apprentice was long hours and sweat and an aching back but he loved every second of it - the only stain on this perfect picture was the location of the tattoo parlor, on the other side of town, and the shady neighborhood he had to get across to come back to his apartment, while the sun had already set. Every step he took on the sidewalk, he felt like eyes were watching him, an ominous presence who waited patiently for its time to leap on its prey. An effect of his imagination, of course : after all, he hadn’t had any problem since he took this job, six months ago. Even if he was convinced this feeling was a trick his mind was playing on him, because of all the horror movies he had watched when he was younger, he couldn’t help but quicken his steps until he was safe and sound in the hall of his building. 

Steve knew he had to stop keeping an eye on Eddie every night. Word had spread amongst the criminals of the area and they knew Spider-Man was watching these streets, so the potential of Eddie being mugged had dropped significantly, but he couldn’t help but worry. Steve couldn’t live with himself if anything happened to his friend while walking the streets he was supposed to protect as the local superhero. Yeah, the metalhead was careful and safe, making sure he walked under the streetlights and keeping his keys between his fingers in case someone tried to jump him, but Steve knew what kind of monsters lived in these parts of town, and the terrible things they could do if they had the opportunity to do so. It was one of his worst nightmares, picturing Eddie hurt, or worse, because he had failed to protect him. So even if it was useless, even if it was late at night and he was tired after his long day as a librarian - a job he took to spend more time with his best friend Robin, while managing enough time to continue his superhero thing - he put on his mask and jumped around town to follow Eddie until he reached his apartment. Who needs sleep, right ? 

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Eddie was still thinking about that tattoo he spent 2 hours designing later this evening. His fingers were tracing the lines of the drawing against the grain of his black jeans, the apprentice imagining what it would be like to tattoo this kind of giant piece, and watch the look on the face of his client when he would see the final result. Sure, he had tattooed real people before, after having practiced on pig skin for a while, but never a piece as big and ambitious as this one. Too busy daydreaming about this project, he almost didn’t see the man crossing the street. He was a big bald man, with a dark coat and gloved hands, his fingers holding firmly a big pocket knife. What, wait a second, a… knife ? 

The second this thought crossed Eddie’s mind, he felt his legs getting a little wobbly. They were alone on the street, the guy and him, and he was pretty sure no one would come if he called for help. Perhaps it was him, the presence he thought he felt during all these weeks, and perhaps it was time for the prey to become dead meat. He wouldn’t let the guy win without a fight, though. The metalhead tightened his grip on his keys and prepared himself for the attack, waited, waited again and… Nothing happened. He heard a strange “woosh” sound, closed his eyes for a second and then… The big guy had disappeared. At his place, there was a red and blue figure, with a smaller frame but a strong musculature you could see through his tight costume.

-Spi… Spider-man ? asked Eddie with a stammering voice.  -You’re okay ? asked the superhero. He had a familiar voice, like he heard it before but couldn’t pinpoint where exactly. -Yeah, I guess… thanks to you. Eddie’s legs were still quivering, but he had watched enough footage of Spidey’s exploits to know he was safe now. -Just doin’ my job, I suppose… Glad you’re okay. You shouldn’t walk alone at this hour around here. 

And then Eddie responded that he knew, he didn't have a choice, his friend Steve told him a million times he should move closer to his job but it costs a lot of money… He began to talk at a thousand miles an hour, moving his hands in front of his face, explaining his reasons, and Steve thought it was absolutely adorable. He could see his friend was scared, and now, he was releasing the pressure. 

-Well anyway, I should go. Bad guys aren’t gonna arrest themselves…

Spider-Man began to turn around, but Eddie stopped him from leaving by stepping closer, putting a hand on his arm, a little smile on his face. It made Steve shiver under his suit. He didn’t really understand why, but this sudden proximity felt weird, not a bad kind of weird, but a kind of weird he hadn't really felt before. 

-Thank you so much Spider-Man. I wish there was something I could do to repay you. 

Steve swallowed hard, biting his lips under his mask. He felt bad for lying to Eddie about his secret identity, he wished he could tell him the truth right now and respond with something like “hey man, I was a jerk to you all through highschool, and if it wasn’t for a few kids and an earthquake, I would probably still be an ass. So it’s all good, all right ?” but of course, it was impossible. It wasn’t the time to apologize for a past he couldn’t change. It was time for the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man to take off and disappear into the shadows, watching over Eddie like a hawk to guarantee his safety.

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It took a long time for Steve to become a decent person - but hey, at least he actually became one, not like his dad who was an asshole all of his life. When he was in highschool, he was the typical popular jock - captain of the swimming and the basketball team, he was named King Steve, dated the prettiest girl, and hung out with other popular kids only. He didn’t have good grades, too busy partying and taking care of his hair, but he was smart enough to idle around and still get his diploma. 

Then the earthquake hit. 

His hometown was almost totally destroyed, lives were lost, and Steve realized that maybe, being popular wasn’t that important. He took a lot of shitty jobs to stop relying on his parents, who thought taking care of a kid consisted of giving him expensive gifts and visiting him twice a year, and met Robin, his best friend. He babysat a bunch of kids from around his neighborhood, and became like a second mom to a little gang of nerdy rugrats who taught him responsibility and appreciation. He befriended Eddie, their dungeon master, a guy he actually knew in highschool but didn’t deserve, at the time, to become his friend, since he was an outcast and a freak - he was actually a great guy, with a whole lot of heart and a wicked sense of humor. Steve grew up. 

When he decided to move out of Hawkins to finally find his place in the world, he took an apartment with Robin and tried to find his true calling - and the calling took the the form of a radioactive spider who bit him and gave him superpowers. He became Spider-Man, a hero who arrests bad guys when the police can’t. He became a man with a purpose and a found family which loves him as much as he loves them. And even if he doesn’t have a great job, a big house or a lot of money, he’s happy, and that’s all that matters.

Part 2

[nuagedemots]

A goddamn superhero - a Spidey!Steve Steddie fanfic (part 2)

Part 1 It was quite surprising Robin loved working as a librarian so much. She was always so loud and energetic, with a lot of hand waving and name calling, always dramatic and ready to jump into action : at least, that was what people thought about her. His friends knew better. Yes, Robin was active and spirited, but a lot of the time, that was because of all the pent up energy caused by anxiety, and all these movements and high-pitched conversation were actually exhausting for her. She needed time to rest, and this job was perfect for that - and she loved books so that was a nice bonus. 

Steve wasn’t as enthusiastic as his best friend. If she wasn’t there to talk to him and read to him when there wasn’t anyone in the library, he would literally be bored to death. The only thing he really liked about this job was when a classroom of children came to read books and he could see sparkles in the eyes of kids when they discovered fantastic stories about pirates or dinosaurs or knights, but these moments were occasionals, and most of the time, he was just looking at the clock, waiting for his shift to be over. 

Today was not an exception. 

It’d been two hours since no one had come into the library. Robin was sitting on the wheeled chair of the desk, which was right across the front door so she could spot any readers who came in, while Steve’s head was resting on her lap. She was playing with his hair while he red out loud the beginning of Lord of the Flies, the book in his hands threatening to fall because of his absurd posture. This day seemed like he lasted forever, and whilst he was narrating the adventures of Ralph and Piggy on this damn island, he couldn’t stop thinking about the moment he’ll step out of this place to put on his Spider-man mask again. Suddenly, Robin tapped three times on his forehead, their signal meaning someone came into the library. He lifted himself up, standing as straight as he could to pretend for a second he was a professional and perfect librarian, his best friend doing the same on her side. 

The second he recognized the face of the person stepping forward, he smiled. What was Eddie Munson doing here ? 

- Hey you two, greeted the tattooed man. You seem… really busy.

- Yeah, as you can see, the place is packed with readers. I think we’re overwhelmed, responded Robin, snarky but happy to see their metalhead friend. They were hanging out quite a lot, since he moved in the same city as them six months ago, but it was always a pleasure to joke around with him, especially since his presence was unexpected. 

- I hope you’ll find time in your busy schedule to squeeze me in… I’m looking for a book.

- Usually, that’s what a library is for, dude. Steve stood up to help him find what he was looking for. What kind of book ? 

- A self-defense book, a manual that teaches about how to defend yourself, something like that. 

Steve froze. What happened last night came into his mind : his Spider-sense had seen the way Eddie’s fingers grasped his keys from far away, how his eyes fogged when he realized he was in danger, how he talked swiftly when Spider-Man came to his rescue. He must have been so scared. 

- What ? Why do you need something like that ? asked Robin, still sitting down on her chair. 

- Hmm, no reason in particular. Was thinking about taking lessons or something, but I wanted to check it out first. Can be useful, y’know ?

Lies, of course. Eddie knew that, Steve knew that, but Eddie didn’t know Steve knew, and that was the problem. The librarian couldn’t say anything without raising doubts about his secret identity - couldn’t comfort his friend about what happened to him and telling him that he was certain Spider-Man would never let him get hurt on his watch.

- Yeah, I think we have something like that in the sports section. In B12, Stevie, can you show him ?

Steve nodded quite seriously, his mind troubled, and Robin raised a questioning eyebrow in return, that the ex-jock pretended he didn’t see. Eddie followed him to the section the brunette mentioned, and began to help the metalhead find the book he was looking for. After five minutes of research, stuck between the narrow bookshelves and the wooden walls, the librarian couldn’t help but splurt out a few words out of concern. 

- Are you sure you’re okay ? Self-defense, I mean… You can talk to me if you need… 

He hated lying to Eddie, but he didn’t want to burden him with his secret, and potentially put him in danger if Spider-Man’s enemies wanted to come after him. 

- I know, I know, Eddie responded with a fake smile on his face. Don’t worry about dear old me. I’m fine. Ah, found it !

The metalhead brandished an old book with a faded green cover where a white man with a kimono and a mustache was putting down a black man with a golden chain and a gun (racism much ?). He began to flip the first pages, and let out a light chuckle when he saw the outdated illustrations. 

- I don’t know if it’s really gonna help you, Robin said behind them. She had rejoined with the boys, probably out of boredom. Maybe Steve could give you pointers ? I mean, boxing is not exactly self defense but… 

Steve froze. He told Robin he was taking boxing lessons to explain why he came back to their flat with big bruises and cuts all over his body - he knew she was getting suspicious, since he couldn’t afford boxing gloves, let alone a annual boxing membership, but of course, she couldn’t imagine Steve being Spider-Man, so it was the only explanation to his injuries. 

- You box, Harrington ? You’re full of surprises, said Eddie. It would be very nice of you, but I don’t want to bo… 

- I’ll do it. Steve surprised himself. It was dangerous for him to show the tattoo apprentice his superhero strength, but he also desperately wanted to help him. Come over on friday, it’s my day off. Wear athletic clothes, not black jeans.  Part 3 here

[nuagedemots]

A goddamn superhero - a Spidey!Steve Steddie fanfic (part 3)

Part 1 Part 2 It was three in the morning, and Eddie wasn’t sleeping. It was cold in his room, and he couldn’t seem to find any warmth in his cushions-covered, blankets-overlaid, nest of a bed, no matter the position he tried to settle himself in. He felt like it was his insides that were frozen, like a ghost was playing with his guts - and it was not a pleasant feeling at all. 

It had been three days since the bald guy tried to attack him, and Spider-man saved him as if he was a damsel in distress. Whenever he closed his eyes, there were flashes of a blade of steel and leathery gloves, and he was wondering what would have happened if the superhero hadn’t come to his rescue. Would he be dead right now, gone and forgotten ? Would he be lying in his own blood, somewhere in a dirty street, not being able to say goodbye to his friends ? How would Wayne react, if a policeman were to call him to explain how his nephew, no, his son, had died for two dollars in his pockets ? 

Eddie stood up, unable to lay on his bed furthermore. He passed through the corridor to go to his bathroom, and watched himself in the mirror. He was a mess. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was all tangled and chaotic. The tattoo apprentice splashed a bit of water on his face, and tried to arrange his hairdo, in vain. He sighed, returned to his bedroom and grabbed his leather jacket. He needed air. 

It was three in the morning, and Steve wasn’t sleeping. He took a bad punch earlier in the evening, and his jaw was still aching. Yeah, he had super healing powers, and the cut he had on his neck was already closed, but even if he had recovered, he was still hurt. Steve was used to pain, and even more, used to bury the pain deep inside, and pretend everything was alright. Robin offered him some ibuprofen when she noticed he was wincing during dinner, but he refused, saying it was nothing, and now, he regretted it deeply. He stood up and went to the bathroom, which was next to his bedroom - his best friend and roommate got the biggest room, but it was all the way on the other side of their apartment. Searching for medicine, he went through the cabinets, but besides some pads, dental floss and shampoo bottles, he couldn’t find anything. He rubbed his neck, jaded. He had a shift in the morning, but he couldn’t sleep because of the pain. To the drugstore, then. Luckily there was a 24 hours open one, a few blocks over. He took his Spider-man costume by habit - what if there was a bad guy on the way ? - and left the quiet apartment. 

The streets in New-York City were as diverse and peculiar as the city itself. The streetlights were bright, but some of them were broken and everything around was dark and gloomy ; the passers-by were loud and talkative, some of them drunk and shouting, but then you would enter a smaller alley and it was quiet and secret, like a small kingdom of soft and muffled sound. Everything could happen in such a big city. And everything was happening actually, non-stop, endlessly - sometimes, it was exhausting.

Eddie had his hands stuffed in his pockets, watching the buildings all around him, feeling small, alone, even if he was surrounded by party goers and night owls. He forgot to take his headphones when he left his home, and now he was just roaming around, trying to take his mind off things. His Doc Martens pounded the pavement, stained by sludge and dirt from the sidewalk. He wasn’t afraid of being attacked again - the streets weren’t empty, and his neighborhood was quite safe. But even if it was, he wouldn’t be nervous or anything, because what was scary wasn’t the fact that some parts of this city were dangerous, or that a guy could assault him at any time. It was the what-ifs that were killing him. Things he hadn’t done and could never do if he was to die tomorrow, things he regretted, things he imagined for his future. Everything was confused in his head, his thoughts were all mingled and fuzzy - it was three in the morning after all. He stopped near a park and sat down on a bench. He had to calm down, to clear his head. When someone sat next to him, he almost didn’t notice, lost in his thoughts, but when he faced the person beside him, his eyes widened. 

Spider-Man was swinging around the tall buildings. The drugstore next to his house was closed for renovation, and Steve decided to search for another one as his superhero persona - it was much quicker to move around in the air than on the ground. Without realizing it, his hunt took him near Eddie’s apartment, a route he knew quite well since he was often going to his friend’s house to spend time with him, since he moved to the same city as him. The metalhead was busy with his apprenticeship, but he always found time for Steve. The librarian didn’t really understand why, after all, he didn’t have an exciting life like Eddie (well, except for the superhero thing, but his friend didn’t know that) and he was a jerk to him in highschool - he never insulted him or bullied him, but he also never interacted with him, to protect his status as a popular kid, like he was invisible or something. Eddie always had something to say, with a lot of details, metaphor-heavy tales that happened to him or some of the clients of his tattoo parlor, stories about DnD campaigns or interesting facts that he read in a book or saw on the internet. Steve was quieter, borderline boring, in his own opinion. When he wanted to say something, he thought no one was interested, so he stayed silent most of the time. And even if Eddie never said anything about it and, on the contrary, encouraged him to speak up, he knew the truth. He was a burden. 

That’s why, when he saw his friend sitting on a bench in the middle of the night, he pondered whether or not he should join him. But then he remembered the conversation they had the day before, the fear he thought he felt when Eddie was looking for this self-defense book, and he landed near him. If he could help him, even a little bit, he’d do his damn best to do it. 

- Spider-Man ? What are you doing here ? asked Eddie when he realized the superhero was beside him. 

- You know, cruising around, enjoying the city at night, these kind of things. I was searching for an opened drugstore, but I guess I’m unlucky tonight. 

- Hmm, okay but… I’m sorry, I don’t think you’re gonna find a store sitting on my bench. Eddie smiled, and Steve thought he was beautiful when he was smiling. He should do it more. I think there’s one two blocks away though. 

- “My bench” ? Didn’t know you actually own the place, said Steve teasingly. 

- I guess not, responded the metalhead. But I have to admit I wasn’t expecting company, the company of a badass superhero even less. 

Steve blushed under his mask. People were always complimenting him about his work as a superhero, but it was special when it was Eddie who was saluting it.

- If you want to be alone, don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair. 

- No, that’s okay. Silence. Catching his breath. Stay. 

They stayed like this for a bit, joking around, talking about nothing important, Eddie not really understanding why Spider-Man was keeping him company, but grateful for it. During their conversation, Steve wondered whether he should address his concern about the effect the attack had on Eddie. Finally, he let it out, praying the tattoo apprentice would finally open about it. 

- Hey, I know it’s not really my place, but… You’re okay ? You were almost assaulted, I know it’s a scary thing and… 

- You remember that ? With the number of people you’re saving everyday ? 

- Of course, disclosed Steve. Of course I remember you. 

- Oh. Eddie was surprised. He didn’t really know how to respond, so he brushed it off and preferred to answer his first question. Well, I’m fine, really. More than I would have thought. It’s just… It’s hard to explain. I can’t shake off this idea, that… If I was dead that day… I would leave so many people behind, my father, my friends, I… He paused, struggling to keep his composure. Steve stayed quiet, waiting for him to formulate his thoughts. There’s this friend, this guy, k’now, I sort of have a crush on. Well, no, I have full on feelings for, to be honest. I never told him. And if I was dead… 

- But you’re not, softly said Steve. You have all the time in the world to talk to him. 

The librarian didn’t know who Eddie was talking about, probably someone he worked with. He knew that the metalhead was gay, and didn’t have a problem with that (his best friend was Robin, after all), but oddly, he couldn’t shake an unfamiliar feeling, as Eddie was talking to him as openly about his feelings for a stranger. This mystery guy was probably something, if Eddie thought about him and his regrets, while processing his near-death experience.

Steve brushed off that strange feeling for now, though. He wanted to support and show his friend he was there for him, that was all that mattered. 

- You’re right, Spidey. So, badass and wise, uh ? You’re the whole package. Eddie was returning to his habitual joking character, probably to defuse the serious tone of the conversation. 

- I do my best, responded the superhero, following the tattoo apprentice in his banter. Speaking of badassery, I have to go. I put aside my epic drugstore quest for too long. He stood up, and looked at Eddie just before turning around. Take care.

- Yes. See you around, Spider-man. 

Steve threw a web on a building nearby, and disappeared into the night. Eddie stayed in place, pondering about what just happened. After a while, he stood up and went home. He felt tired, all of a sudden. He wanted to go to sleep.  Part 4 soon ! xx

[nuagedemots]

I'm so glad you guys liked my first ficlet, Alone on Halloween ! I'm currently writing a Spider-Man!Steve Steddie AU, which we'll be much longer (slow burn ftw). The first part is already done and I'll be posting it soon.

I hope you'll like it ! Feel free to leave notes on my fics as I'm... very insecure and I always think my writing is shit (especially in english), so constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

Thank you ✨❤️

[nuagedemots]

Tonight.... I'm gonna post part 3 of "A goddamn superhero" !! Can't wait for your impressions ! ❤️✨