#by the time he works himself up to grovel about it though wei wuxian probably won't even remember

[aiyexayen]

I haven’t known true peace since I realised that Wei Wuxian actually believes this. He’s not just saying dumb shit here, or oversimplifying things to be dramatic--he truly thought of it this way, even back then. Even though nobody else did.

This line has always confused me and maybe I just haven’t given it enough thought. Maybe it’s obvious. But everyone has such a different perspective at that section of the story, including the audience. And that’s part of the tragedy of it all, really, is how much the situation was twisted up--both on purpose, by the Jins, and by simple circumstance--to the point that nobody was on the same page. But the extent of Wei Wuxian’s didn’t really hit me until recently, when puzzling back over this particular scene.

(In my defense, it was easy for me to miss until now, because it’s mixed in with Wei Ying admiring Lan Zhan admiring the moon and followed by Lan Zhan calling Wei Ying out on his “I’m fine” bullshit before carrying him down the stairs.)

At first pass, all I could think was, “Wei Wuxian, are we even watching the same show?” He and Jiang Cheng were rivals as much as they were best friends as much as they were brothers, and frequently at odds.

They never really had a “them two against the world” vibe outside of their Twin Heroes of Yunmeng promise. Wei Wuxian loved the world, and making friends, and did so freely and gladly. He and Jiang Cheng really only ever stood together against really blatant enemies like the Wen before and during the Sunshot campaign, and by the time the Jins and the rest of the prominent sect/clan leaders were at their throats, things were definitely falling apart.

They not only had a fraught childhood together in that household to begin with, but they also haven’t been truly on the same side since the fall of Lotus Pier when it all came to a head; the slow dissolution of their close bond is a huge underlying theme of the story as we suffer through the emotional torture of watching their desperate love create a wider and wider chasm between them, littered with broken promises and unspoken words as they slowly forget how to know each other.

And they really never stood together against Lan Wangji?? Ever?

While Jiang Cheng was regarding him (and every other human being and activity) as a rival for his shige’s attention and proof of his own social ineptitude (a potential cause for worry in his earnest role as sect heir and representative of his clan), Wei Wuxian was utterly enamoured. By the time Wei Wuxian had his rounds of falling-out with Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng regarded him as an ally who stood by his side for months and kept his hope alive while helping him scour the land for all traces of his missing brother and was really confused why Wei Wuxian was being a jackass.

In-between all this, they travel and fight together--all three of them--on more than one occasion, and even go to war together.

We’re frequently shown glimpses, scenes, framing, setups, that show us Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji standing together without or apart from Jiang Cheng as well. Because reasons.

From Lan Wangji’s point of view, he was never not on Wei Wuxian’s side when it counted. He just had trouble communicating this effectively at times, especially while Wei Wuxian was in a constant push-pull with himself and everyone else about what he should be allowed to want and have.

From Jiang Cheng’s point of view, Wei Wuxian was failing to be on his side again and again, and it was never really about his own loyalty, because he was the only one still keeping their promise.

And certainly by Jin Ling’s one-month celebration, they both seemed to be on the same page that they were coming together as Wei Wuxian’s important people, if not actively friends by then, and that they were of one mind in getting Wei Wuxian back around his family and back into society. One of the most shattering things anyone has ever had the nerve to tell me straight into the void that once was my heart is that they (along with Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan) were probably so excited to see Wei Wuxian and proudly show him how well they were all getting along.

So I, humble viewer of episodes, watch all of this happening, and then narrow my eyes at Wei Wuxian in disbelief. Who does he think he is? Jiang Cheng, always at his side? With Lan Wangji, always opposite?

Why does this moment of self-reflection even exist? When he could have taken this opportunity to have some kind of flashback about Lan Wangji and the moon, as the rest of us are? Is it just to torment me, in particular?

But then I thought of three things. One, his point of view at the time. Two, his point of view in this episode. And three, the phrasing of what he’s saying here.

The phrasing feels important. Wei Wuxian simply says he thought Jiang Cheng would be at his side/on his side/by his side, and he thought Lan Wangji would be opposite. Opposite doesn’t necessarily mean a direct rival or enemy. It can mean standing for the opposing viewpoint, or having an opposing position.

Given that he’s directly comparing it to how he feels right now, it makes sense. As of this episode, he’s just had his real first encounter with Jiang Cheng, and it was pretty horrible. He had to deal with Jin Ling and his curse, between now and then, but that isn’t really going to be what’s on his mind.

I might be like, “Ah, yes, running away from Jiang Cheng to go fuck off with Lan Wangji, typical Wei Wuxian scenario, even if I support it especially in this particular instance.” Jiang Cheng might feel that way, too, right down to “Thank fuck he ran away like he always does and didn’t call my bluff about killing him a thousand times over because that would have been embarrassing.”

But to Wei Wuxian, the circumstances are completely different. He’s not running off on an adventure after which he absolutely intends to return home. He’s leaving with what he sees as confirmation (which he was trying to avoid) that Jiang Cheng truly hates him, and the knowledge/reminder that he may never see him again because he will absolutely try his hardest not to. And he’s returning to Lan Wangji, who is his adventure, but also, increasingly, his home.

He can’t really think of it in those terms, yet, though. So he thinks about it as sides.

Even though they and Jiang Cheng are never truly pitted against each other in the present any more than Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were ever pitted against Lan Wangji in the past (that is to say, one or two tense scenes and mostly a lot of wibbly gray areas indicating that there’s a lot more going on in everyone’s heads), Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji on the “Wei Wuxian Should Not Be Dead” team and Jiang Cheng sulking on the opposite shore.

Or, at the very least, the teams are “Leave Wei Wuxian Alone” and “Wei Wuxian Needs To Fucking Stop.”

Which reminds him how different it all used to be.

And even if we’re like, “Was it, though?” that’s not his perspective on it. He didn’t see all the pieces that the rest of us saw. He never knew the lengths Lan Wangji was going to in order to try and help him, the rules he broke. He never saw the punishment Lan Wangji endured for simply visiting him. Even Jiang Cheng saw Lan Wangji stand up for him publicly after the heart-wrenching scene in the rain. Wei Wuxian never did.

He only saw Lan Wangji trying his damnedest to get him to give up demonic cultivation. He only heard Lan Wangji’s attempts to convince him to get better that he never really understood. He only ever perceived resistance and disapproval.

Wei Wuxian was expecting Lan Wangji to come and personally try to stop him at Nightless City. Wei Wuxian woke up alive and took one look at Lan Wangji (and softly gayly smiled and took a second look for good measure) and took off. Wei Wuxian woke up again with all his memories and the knowledge he was loved and missed after sixteen years and asked if Lan Wangji had ever really believed him. Wei Wuxian has been slowly coming to terms with the fact that Lan Wangji wholeheartedly and unreservedly does, now. So, to him, it’s the idea that Lan Wangji has “switched sides” as it were.

And Jiang Cheng?

Wei Wuxian thinks he and Jiang Cheng were unquestionably on the same side right up until Jiang Yanli died.

Jiang Cheng was angry, was upset, was in pain. They fought. Promises were broken. But that didn’t mean they were on opposing sides, not really, surely.

They were on the same side about questionable cultivation methods not being questioned as long as it made Yunmeng Jiang strong where it was currently weak. They were on the same side about it not being anyone else’s business. Their fight was faked, even if the separation had to be real.

Wei Wuxian was still standing by Jiang Cheng’s side in prioritising Yunmeng Jiang’s political standing. Jiang Cheng was still standing by his side in caring about their home and their sister. He brought shijie, who brought soup. And something about their public break and Jiang Cheng’s account kept the other sects from piling on Wei Wuxian right at the start.

At Nightless City, while he expected Lan Wangji to be there countering him, he did not expect any of Yunmeng Jiang to be there to actually fight him. Of course Jiang Cheng was there--how could Jiang Cheng not show up? One of the great clans? And they’re not really supposed to have anything to do with one another anymore, right? Wei Wuxian was a traitor to Yunmeng Jiang, right? Of course Jiang Cheng had to show up.

But as long as Wei Wuxian was in control of the resentful energy and puppets, not a single Yunmeng Jiang disciple, let alone Jiang Cheng himself, was so much as looked at sideways.

Jin Zixuan had been killed. Jiang Yanli would never forgive him. His found family full of innocents had been slaughtered by power-hungry hypocrites. The entire cultivation world was after his soul. He was a dead man walking. He’d been hallucinating for hours. His mind was mostly gone.

And he thought, “Lan Wangji is here to put an end to me at last. It is time to fight.”

And he thought, “Jiang Cheng is not truly part of this. I must not touch Yunmeng Jiang.”

Both of these things wound me deeply. The first, because it’s demonstrably untrue. The second, because it might not have been nearly as true as everyone (including Jiang Cheng) wishes, though at least we’ll never really have to know, will we.

And then Jiang Yanli died.

We can see the story happening in stages, the various breakdowns and buildups and breakdowns again. And we always knew this ending was coming. But to him, that’s the moment everything truly, truly broke.

Though, I feel the need to point out, hysterically, he still wasn’t opposite Jiang Cheng even then. Because Jiang Cheng, he believes, wanted him dead (even if he couldn’t do it by his own hand) just as much as Wei Wuxian wanted himself dead. And Lan Wangji did not want him dead. So he stood in solidarity with Jiang Cheng one last time, did right by Jiang Cheng and Yunmeng Jiang and their family one last time, as he yanked his hand away from Lan Wangji.

Only now, in the present, are Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng truly in opposition. And only now are Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji on the same page. Supposedly.

One of Wei Wuxian’s particular character journeys post-timeskip is finally having the concept of interpersonal nuance smashed into his head in a way that still allows him to be himself and follow his own moral codes and build relationships in his own way. His assorted encounters with Jiang Cheng leading up to their reconciliation (as well as the juniors and the sect leaders and other characters) all demonstrate that nicely.

But in this scene, it really is that straightforward to him. Hell, it’s even presented such to us for a hot minute.

If for no other reason than the direct parallel of Lan Wangji finding out about Wei Wuxian’s fear of dogs and protecting him both physically and emotionally without question, and Jiang Cheng already knowing about it but using Fairy against Wei Wuxian until it triggered him into a panic-induced ptsd flashback seriously what a fucking dick move though.

So, perhaps it’s understandable, between Wei Wuxian’s misconceptions of the past and his current experiences in the present and the fact that these are the only two people left to him in all the world.

He believes the bitter irony of fate has dictated that he can never have them both. He was only ever going to have one of them and he never considered it would truly be this one.

And for just one moment, before he can be glad of his gain, he has to mourn the inevitable loss that comes with it. For that one moment, even seeing Lan Wangji so beautiful in the moonlight, so openly and invitingly waiting for him, that’s all he can think about.

It haunts me.

[gusu-emilu]

Cantatio: Chapter Twelve

Ship: Lan Zhan / Wei Ying (POV Lan Zhan)

Summary: Lan Zhan and Wei Ying face off with a guardian lion statue and rocky relationship issues.

Cloud Recesses AU, Rated T, No Warnings Apply - read on AO3

< Ch. 11 | chapter list

Lan Wangji tumbled onto a cold stone surface. He groaned. His robes were sticky with mud, and his entire back ached from sliding into rocks that lined the pitch-black tunnel. However, now there was some light surrounding him. He opened his eyes.

Glowing blue stalagmites illuminated an enormous cavern with twinkling sapphire light. Amber brown rock formations crept upward in jagged shapes, some even reaching the lofty ceiling and mingling with the blue stalactites that coated the ceiling like icicles. An underground lagoon stretched across the cavern floor. Not a single ripple tainted its clear cerulean water.

Lan Wangji had barely taken two breaths before the hollering of Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng echoed behind him. He scrambled out of the way just in time to dodge the two bodies that hurtled side by side out of the tunnel.

“Ow, shit!” Jiang Cheng said.

“What are you whining about? You were clutching my wrist so hard I thought you’d dislocate my shoulder!”

“Wha—I—"

Lan Wangji shushed them and nodded his head toward the water.

In a corner of the cave several hundred meters along the bank of the lake, there was a large, peculiar rock that looked like it had been carved to display clawed feet and a mane of fur around a snarling head.

It was the guardian lion of the mingshi. It seemed to be lying on the ground with its chin resting on its paws, as motionless as the water it stared at. Although its features were not clear from this far away, Lan Wangji thought there might’ve been a splotch of blood on its front paws.

Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan were nowhere in sight.

A puff of air in Lan Wangji’s ear. He flinched.

“The stone kitty is sad,” said a pouting voice.

Wei Wuxian had appeared at his side. Lan Wangji shot him a sharp, scolding glare, but within, warm relief swelled though him. Wei Ying was safe.

But he was not excused.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “Are you insane? Why the hell would you chase after this thing?!”

“Shhh!”

“Excuse me, Lady Wen,” Jiang Cheng said, “but I think your shrieking already made the lion well-aware that we’re here.”

Wen Qing narrowed her eyes, piercing Jiang Cheng with a frigid glare. He shrank away apologetically.

Wei Wuxian laughed. “Jiang Cheng, that shrieking was you. I’d recognize your girly scream anywhere.”

“You wanna die?!”

Jiang Cheng nearly squashed Lan Wangji in his attempt to swing over and punch his brother. Lan Wangji caught both of their wrists and trapped them in his grip, just like he had done at the gate of the Cloud Recesses when the disciples first arrived. How much had happened since then!

“Wei Wuxian,” Wen Qing said. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

Lan Wangji turned to him. “How did you animate the pixiu?”

“Wait wait wait. Hold on.” Wei Wuxian pinched the bridge of his nose for a few seconds, then sliced his hand through the air, holding his palm open toward Lan Wangji. “You think I animated the guardian lion?”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. “We think what?—"

Wen Qing’s expression remained calm and impassive as she spoke. “Lan Wangji and A-Ning both saw you animate the pixiu by yourself without losing any spiritual energy, which was supposed to be impossible for cultivators our age. And moreover, after what happened regarding Young Master Jin and your shijie last night, how much of a coincidence is it that the only disciple the lion went after was Jin Zixuan?”

Wei Wuxian’s lips parted slightly, their smile wilting. His eyes enveloped Lan Wangji, questioning and searching with an uncomfortable blankness.

“You…you thought I would do that to Jin Zixuan?”

Something awful panged in Lan Wangji’s chest. Gnawed at him. He turned away, unable to look at Wei Wuxian.

Rule #351: Do not make assumptions about others.

He hadn’t really thought that Wei Ying meant any harm toward Jin Zixuan.

…Had he?

This time, Lan Wangji had violated more than just a rule.

Jiang Cheng snorted. “I don’t want to say you guys are dumb. But you guys are dumb. This blockhead is too stupid to pull off something like that.”

Lan Wangji let go of the two brothers’ wrists. Cold mud from his slide down the tunnel seeped into his skin at the back of his robes, giving him goosebumps. The guardian lion statue at the bank of the lagoon did not stir.

Wei Wuxian grinned, but it was empty and distant. He might as well have been sitting as far away as the lion.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I can’t believe you think I’m capable of such a feat! What a devious idea, I should learn from you!” He chuckled, a quiet, caustic sound. “But as much as I want to keep the secret to my success, it looks like I have to clear my name. I wasn’t the one who animated the pixiu in class. I didn’t do a thing, actually. My golden core is definitely the strongest in our generation, but it’s not that good. Never mind animating a real full-sized guardian statue.”

“Psh. Strongest my ass,” Jiang Cheng grumbled.

“Then how did it happen?” Wen Qing asked.

Lan Wangji still couldn’t look at him.

“It was…um…it was actually really scary. I thought I was going to die, to be honest. The pixiu’s spirit wanted to take my golden core. So I made a bargain with it.”

Jiang Cheng furrowed his brow. “Bargain?”

Bargain? Lan Wangji echoed the words himself.

Hadn’t Song Lan said that guardian spirits could not be easily communicated with? Lan Wangji hadn’t heard any type of language when he laid hands on the pixiu in class.

Wei Wuxian nodded. “I told it to take something else instead.” He looked down at the cave floor with a small guilty smile. “Under the ground, buried really far down, there were, um, well. You know how the world works. There were dead people and animals in the ground. Ancient remains. I gave it permission to drain their resentful energy instead of my qi. I think it turned that pixiu a bit crooked in the head…it kept running around in circles and then disappeared into the woods…” He shrugged and added, “But hey, at least I kept my golden core.”

Finally, Lan Wangji’s voice worked. It was cold and firm, as hard as cave floor beneath him.

“Wei Ying. This is the crooked path.”

Wei Wuxian’s only answer was a closed-lipped smile that said, I know. Disapprove of me any more yet?

Lan Wangji swallowed.

The crooked path. How had Wei Ying learned to do this? Why had that thought ever crossed his mind? Couldn’t he have just been more careful and not let his overconfidence get him in a life-or-death situation, forcing him to disrupt the graves of buried souls, forever stripping them from the cycle of reincarnation? This was evil work, even if he hadn’t wanted to do it.

He had been forced to step down the crooked path.

But what could Wei Ying have done? His wrongdoings were never out of malice. It would be an insult to think that he’d follow the crooked path with ill intentions. That he would use it to animate a guardian statue and harm Jin Zixuan.

The four disciples stared at each other: three coated in mud, one perfectly clean, in an odd subversion of what one would expect.

Jiang Cheng clenched and unclenched his fists. He seemed to have many words clawing up his throat, but none came out. Lan Wangji felt the same way.

Eventually, it was Wen Qing who spoke. “How did you communicate with the guardian spirit?”

Wei Wuxian rubbed the back of his neck. “Aha, about that. I…don’t actually know.”

When they looked at him in confusion, he raised his hands and hastily explained. “Before I touched it, I wasn’t too focused. I was actually just thinking about what puns I could make the next day in Lan Qiren’s poetry class.” He smirked at some private joke. “Once I touched the pixiu, it happened in a blur—before I knew it, it was already done, and I was doubled over on the ground. Since I was already down, I decided to play dead and scare Huaisang, but I ended up making Lan Zhan worried instead. It was a mess, it really was.” His eyes darkened. “Looks like Lan Zhan thought too highly of me after that. Or, maybe lowly.”

His last words were bitter. Spiteful.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji placed his hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder.

Wei Wuxian brushed it off.

They stared at each other.

It…

That…

It hurt.

Wei Wuxian had shaken him off, when before he had been the one always initiating, always smiling, always touching.

A gaping hole was forming inside Lan Wangji. From guilt? Sorrow? Offense? He wasn’t sure. He only knew that it hurt.

This time, he was the one who had been insensitive. Who had pushed the other away with careless thoughts. Who was wrong.

Wei Wuxian donned another vacant smile, even less convincing this time. “Well, enough talk about me. Let’s find Jin Zixuan. I need him alive so I can watch him grovel at Shijie’s feet.”

Jiang Chen scoffed. “Psh. He’s probably dead already.” He nodded toward the statue. “That lion looks pretty satisfied.”

The guardian lion did not, in fact, look satisfied. It looked forlorn. Lan Wangji didn’t know how a block of stone several hundred meters away could display such emotion in its carved surface, but it was unmistakably miserable.

Wen Qing must’ve noticed too. “I don’t think it’s as vicious as we thought. Maybe we can talk to it?”

The four disciples rose and stood in front of the cave tunnel.

“It’s possible,” Wei Wuxian said, nodding thoughtfully. “But don’t look at me! I’m no guardian spirit whisperer. I really don’t know how I did that yesterday.”

“Should we really talk with the lion? I don’t buy it,” Jiang Cheng said. “If that thing isn’t vicious, then where’s the peacock?”

“WAAAAAAAAAAH!”

A flash of gold shot down the tunnel and crashed into them. Pain jolted through Lan Wangji’s legs as all five people toppled like dominoes into a tangle of bodies.

“Ow!”

“The fuck—”

“What are you doing here?”

“What are YOU doing here?!?!”

Jin Zixuan had slid into the cavern. He lay in the middle of the knot of limbs on the cave floor, hand rubbing the back of his head, chafing in disgust at the grime that soaked his priceless robes and stained them a snotty shade of tawny. One of his arms was bloody.

“Why aren’t you dead?” Jiang Cheng snapped as he jumped to his feet.

“I thought you were captured by the lion!” Wei Wuxian said.

“Well, I was,” Jin Zixuan said irritably, “and then I fought it off until it dropped me in some random part of the woods.”

Jiang Cheng scoffed. “You? Fight off a guardian lion? Bullshit.”

Jin Zixuan’s eyes darted from person to person. He rose to his feet and gingerly brushed himself off, which only spread the mud onto his hands. He scowled, his smarmy face looking rather like a lion itself.

“Fine. I did try to fight it,” he said, “but it didn’t work. It injured my arm. And all of a sudden it stopped and just…stared at me. Then it let go of me and ran away.”

“And why didn’t you return to the Cloud Recesses?” Wen Qing said. “The clan leaders are worried sick looking for you! Your father is going to have a stroke—and if not he’s going to give one to someone else with all his scolding.”

“Because, I lost my sword in the woods.”

Wen Qing raised her eyebrows. “Okay, so then why are you here?”

“I needed my sword to fight the lion.”

“You came after the lion to try to fight?”

Jiang Cheng curled his lip, shaking his head. “This peacock is as dumb as Wei Wuxian.”

Jin Zixuan unsheathed his sword from its golden scabbard. “I won’t let it defeat me. I must preserve my honor and tell my clan I defeated the monster.”

“Who are you to talk about honor?” Wei Wuxian yelled, his voice shaking with anger. “Do you even realize what you did last night? What you did to Jiang Yanli?”

Jin Zixuan lowered Suihua an inch. The sapphire glow of the cavern gleamed questioningly off its blade. “What do you mean?”

“I take it back,” Jiang Cheng said. “The peacock is a thousand times dumber.”

Wei Wuxian drew his sword and pointed it at Jin Zixuan. “That gift was from my shijie. Not only did you refuse to accept it—as if that wasn’t humiliating enough for her already—you gave the credit to a Lan Clan servant. She literally wrote you a note! Are you blind?” He gave a scornful laugh that could’ve cut the air itself. “But then again, you’ve always been blind to her. Always. Never gave one glance at your own future wife. She deserves so much better than the heap of fool’s gold trash you are.”

Jin Zixuan pinched the folds of his brow together, as if he were holding these words in the center of his forehead, weighing them, measuring them, right above the red dot of the Jin Clan between his eyes.

“Jiang…Lady Jiang made that gift?”

Wei Wuxian scoffed. “Yes, and you’re never getting another one.” He gripped his sword tighter and waved it. “Come on. Forget about the lion.” He stepped forward. “Let’s spar. You and me. We’ll settle this right now.”

Lan Wangji rushed in front of Wei Wuxian’s sword. Its tip nearly grazed his throat.

“Wei Ying.”

“Get lost.”

“Wei Ying!”

Wei Wuxian looked like he was about to cry. He turned his face away and absent-mindedly twisted his fist in small circles, rotating the blade of the sword in front of Lan Wangji’s neck.

“Wei Wuxian,” Wen Qing said sternly. “We have more important things to focus on right now.”

He lowered his sword. Avoiding Lan Wangji’s eyes, he sulked away toward Jiang Cheng, who had been braced in a martial stance with Sandu unsheathed.

Jin Zixuan nodded curtly. “Excuse me.” He stomped down the bank of the lagoon toward the guardian lion, then broke into a sprint.

He collapsed.

Wen Qing stood perfectly still, her expression inscrutable. However, Lan Wangji thought he had seen a flash of crimson sleeves from her direction.

She strode over to Jin Zixuan and pulled a needle out of his neck, jolting him awake. “Don’t fight it!” she snapped. “Can’t you see? It’s sad. It doesn’t want to fight you. It’s dishonorable to battle an opponent who is unwilling.”

“I—”

“You were very willing to fight the guardian lion when it captured you, as you’ve just told us.”

Jin Zixuan closed his mouth, biting back whatever he had to say until his expression dissolved into nothing but awkwardness. Then he stood up and brushed himself off again, as if it would be any more effective at removing the mud than the last time. He turned to face the statue. “Guardian lion! You will come with me back to the Cloud Recesses!”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes so hard that Lan Wangji could almost hear it.

Then a scraping sound echoed through the cavern. The turquoise water beside the stone lion began to ripple as the giant creature rose to its paws and snarled at the disciples.

It looked ready to pounce.

Jin Zixuan leapt forward and struck the lion’s paw with Suihua, only for the sword to bounce of the stone with a shing. The lion swatted at Jin Zixuan, trying to push him away as he dodged its claws.

“Do you have a death wish?!” Jiang Cheng shouted.

“Stop fighting!” Wei Wuxian said. “We need you alive!”

He and Jiang Cheng jumped forward to help Jin Zixuan fight the lion. Instead of a roar, a doleful moaning came from the lion’s mouth.

“This isn’t right,” Wen Qing murmured, slightly shaking her head, worry spread across her face.

The lion’s moaning sounded…familiar. It was almost like speech.

Where had Lan Wangji heard this before?

He spun through the last few days in his mind, images and voices whirring through his imagination as the three disciples in front of him slashed their swords at the lion and dodged its paws. Then he found the memory.

A textbook of barely legible poetry. Nie Huaisang’s face buried in his fan, Jiang Cheng bursting into high-pitched laughter, and Wei Ying making jokes about threesomes and facial hair. Lan Qiren yelling at all of them.

Uncle’s Ancient Texts class.

The lion was speaking Trans-Himalayan.

And it was very, very sad.

* * *

Thanks for reading! These chapters (and more to come) can also be found on AO3!

Ch. 13 > | chapter list

[ibijau]

Worst engagement AU // on AO3

Nie Huaisang finds it's nice to have people who enjoy his company

(Part of this chapter had already been posted a while back for an ask about how the Jiang boys views nhs’s engagement. I’ve added to it and touched it up to fit the rest)

warning for canon typical underage drinking

It was so nerve wracking to stand up to Lan Xichen that as soon as he is out of view of his fiancé’s house, Nie Huaisang breaks into tears. He can’t decide if he regrets speaking so bluntly or not. He half wants to run back and go tell Lan Xichen he’s sorry, that he shouldn’t have said this, that he’ll be good again, that he’ll do his best.

He doesn’t.

He  can’t . As he’s said, he’s tried that already and it was miserable. Everything good he’s gotten in life, he got by being bold and not caring for consequences. Everything from his dear nightingale, to Lan Wangji’s good opinion, and now the company of Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian he got by doing what he wasn’t supposed to do.

He can’t grovel in front of Lan Xichen. Not now, and not ever again. Even if he’s crying now, even if he cries after every time they meet, as long as he stands strong in front of Lan Xichen then everything is fine. Besides, even if he’s sure that his behaviour will be reported to Lan Qiren and he will get a scolding for it, it was all worth it for the shock on Lan Xichen’s face. Just thinking back on it is enough to make Nie Huaisang chuckle through his tears.

Once he manages to calm down, Nie Huaisang dries the traces of his crying with his sleeves, puts on a smile, and returns to his cabin.

It’s a bit of a shock to find that Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian really stayed there and waited for him. Nie Huaisang assumed they would just return to their own cabin. Instead Wei Wuxian grins at him as if he’s truly happy to see him and waves his hand at him.

“We were starting to wonder if we should go rescue you!”

Nie Huaisang snorts as he closes the door behind him, but feels his heart beat a little faster. This is… nice. It might be selfish, but he likes the idea of his company being wanted.

“Wei gongzi, it was just a talk with my fiancé,” Nie Huaisang protests with a smile. “I was quite fine. We’ve decided that we should meet every so often, now that things are getting more concrete. He’ll be of age in just two years after all, and we might marry soon after.”

“Were you really fine?” Jiang Cheng asks, scowling at him. It seems that just his normal expression most of the time, so Nie Huaisang tries not to take it personally. At the same time, his eyes are probably a little red still from crying, so maybe Jiang Cheng is worried.

Nie Huaisang decides to laugh it off.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It really was just a small chat. But let’s talk about something more fun now, right?”

They don’t insist, but as they start discussing again an expedition to nearby Gusu to buy forbidden contraband to make their stay in the Cloud Recesses more fun, Nie Huaisang feels that everyone looks at him a little too much. He tells himself it’s just because he’s the only one who has really visited Gusu before while the others just passed through it on their way here (though Wei Wuxian did still manage to spot several interesting shops) but it might also be that he failed to hide how upset that chat with lan Xichen made him. He’ll have to hide it better in the future. 

There’s no way of being sure that they’ll all leave him behind if they realise he’s not naturally as daring and bold as them, but it’s not a risk he wants to take.

  After dinner that evening (boring, disgusting, bitter… Nie Huaisang is going to starve when he comes to live here permanently) and as they start heading back toward their cabins, Wei Wuxian grabs Nie Huaisang by the elbow and pulls him away from the other guest disciples. He’s grinning in a way that, in only a few days, Nie Huaisang has learned means he has a very awful idea to share.

“Nie gongzi, let’s trade tonight,” Wei Wuxian offers in a whisper. “We send our disciples to your cabin, and you come to ours for a bit of fun with me and Jiang Cheng.”

That breaks a number of rules, of course, and Nie Huaisang is already waiting for the fallout of his chat with lan Xichen.

“I’m not sure…”

“I am. Come on, it’ll be fun! Just bring some of those prints you’ve mentioned, alright?”

Nie Huaisang grins and gives in. Apparently, Sect Leader Jiang’s wife is a very strict woman, so it is nearly impossible for Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to get their hands on that sort of pictures, and they get badly punished if any are found in their things. Finding release outside of dual cultivation is supposedly bad for the flow of spiritual energy, and madam Yu takes these things very seriously, especially with her son.

It makes Nie Huaisang very glad that he has so little spiritual energy himself. He can waste it if he likes, it won’t make much difference. 

With this plan agreed on, they go to their separate cabins to prepare for the night. Nie Huaisang companions don’t seem too upset that the Jiang disciples are being dumped on them. If anything, they seem as excited by the perspective of an evening without their young master as Nie Huaisang is. It’s likely that both cabins will end up doing the same sort of things, drinking and looking at forbidden pictures, but at least this way young masters and disciples can all pretend that nothing inappropriate happened. As soon as he has everything he needs, Nie Huaisang leaves the cabin and heads for the Jiangs’ one.

It is impossibly thrilling to sit down with Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, past curfew (forbidden), ready to spend the night in their cabin (forbidden), with some wine and those artful prints (both  extremely forbidden). They’re all three sitting on blankets that they threw on the floor. Well, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng are sitting, still clinging to some vague illusion of propriety, while Wei Wuxian is lounging without a care in the world, refilling everyone’s cup with wine as often as necessary.

Giving up on being good is the best idea that Nie Huaisang has ever had in his life, and he’s so glad he’s found people ready to encourage him on the path to fun. Getting to meet these two makes it almost worth the annoyance of another year in the proximity of Lan Xichen. If not for the weekly meetings ordered by Lan Qiren, then Nie Huaisang would be quite happy with this situation.

When Wei Wuxian reveals that along with the wine, he managed to smuggle in some candies, Nie Huaisang decides that this is worth putting up with Lan Xichen. This is going to be the very best year of his life.

That sentiment lasts until the second cup of wine.

“So, you and Lan Xichen really don’t get along, uh?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Instantly, Nie Huaisang tenses. Well, he should have guessed. It’s never about him. And they were there when Lan Xichen came to pick him up for that stupid meeting they’re supposed to have, and Nie Huaisang didn’t think to hide his annoyance, and it must have been obvious that he cried, and now Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian will realise they can’t reach Lan Xichen through him, and…

“You can never trust the nice ones,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “The better the reputation, the worst they act in private. It’s the same with Jin Zixuan honestly. He acts all high and mighty around adults, but when there’s nobody to see he’s a pest.”

Nie Huaisang chuckles nervously and reaches for his fan, although he doesn’t open it yet. “Right. Your sister too is engaged, uh? To Jin Zixuan… I mean, at least he’s not too ugly, and he has good cultivation.”

Both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian groan in annoyance.

“Shijie says the same!” Wei Wuxian complains, nearly spilling his wine. “She’s always trying to defend him, even though he made her cry last time he came to visit. He said she needed to improve her cultivation before they got married or it’d be embarrassing him. Can you believe that?”

“Peacock,” Jiang Cheng hisses. “Like he deserves her anyway.”

Nie Huaisang nods, and feels himself relax a little though he still fidgets with his fan.

“It’s not like she can help it,” he says carefully. “I’ve not met her, but Mingjue says whenever he came to Lotus Piers, she gave him the impression of a very nice girl, very polite. And he’s not the sort to just say something nice without meaning it.”

That, it turns out, is the best thing Nie Huaisang could ever have said. The instant they hear their sister praised, the other two beam at him as if he’s just told them they’ve reached immortality.

“Your brother is a man of great tastes,” Wei Wuxian proclaims, downing another cup of wine. “You know what? We should work on breaking the engagement between Shijie and that peacock, and see if she can’t marry your brother instead. That way she’ll get a good husband, and your sect gets a good alliance, and so you don’t need to marry some stuffy old Lan kid!”

“Wei gongzi, don’t go tempting me,” Nie Huaisang sighs. “I can’t start dreaming like that!”

Wei Wuxian laughs, and pour some more wine for all of them while Jiang Cheng, by far the one who’s had the least to drink, watches Nie Huaisang like a hawk.

“So it’s not just an impression, you don’t get along with Lan Xichen,” he says. “We’d heard some of the disciples who came here last year say it, but I figured maybe they just misunderstood.”

Nie Huaisang hesitates. This alliance between Qinghe Nie and Gusu Lan is important, and while Yunmeng Jiang is friendly now, they have their own alliance with Lanling Jin, who in turn everyone knows would never have the guts to turn against Qishan Wen. It’s important to make it look like Qinghe and Gusu have strong links, it’s important to make it seem like his future marriage is as certain as the rising sun and the winter snows.

If it ever reaches Nie Mingjue’s ears, Nie Huaisang will blame the wine. But he’s decided already that he was done pretending, and for this too he can take a leap of faith, show a little courage. Politics are politics but he likes Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, who seem to like him back and… and it’d be nice to be pitied a little.

“Your sister isn’t the only one whose cultivation is deemed unsatisfactory,” he admits. “And of course, Lan gongzi isn’t wrong about me. I don’t have a great cultivation level.”

“But you have great porn,” Wei Wuxian retorts, as if somehow, that compensates the rest. “And you’re pretty fun to have around.”

“We wouldn’t have invited someone like Lan Xichen to come here,” Jiang Cheng agrees with a huff, as if it annoys him to admit that some people don’t, well, annoy him. “He’s got a good reputation for sure, and everyone admires him, but he doesn’t sound like someone you’d want to be friends with.”

Nie Huaisang grins, and sips on his wine to hide how giddy he is.

He’s really going to enjoy becoming friends with those two over the months to come.