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lightoftruth · 4 years ago

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In chapters 4 and 5 of The Descent of Man, Darwin compares the mental and social capacities of mankind with other animals, with much of the focus on the conscience of man and peer-pressure (either negative or positive). He then attempts to show how morality developed in humans as an evolutionary progression from lower animals.

Man, the “Social Animal” Darwin’s starting axiom is that man is a “social animal,” in fact he uses that phrase 25 times in the book and 19 times over the course of chapters 4 and 5. Darwin believed that most “higher” animals were social animals, meaning that they show sympathy with others of the same tribe. According to Darwin’s thought on this subject, sympathy was the first or base instinct upon which social interaction was founded.1 Darwin then proposed the steps by which the higher animals and man became social animals.

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The first step (after developing a foundational sense of sympathy) waså to take pleasure in the company of other tribe members, clans, or associates. The second step was (after the animals’ mental faculties reached such a state) to be satisfied with its behavior in relation to other tribe members, or to feel a sense of shame at its behavior. Thirdly, once some form of communication or language developed among the tribe, the expectation of each member of the tribe could be expressed so each member would know how to act to ensure it met with the approval of its fellows. Fear of being looked down upon or ostracized by the community being the driving force to ensure compliance. Lastly this pattern of social morality would be reinforced by habit, and habit would become a sense of duty.2

Darwin then elaborated on each of the four steps mentioned above to show how they would have evolved over time. Darwin then elaborated on each of the four steps mentioned above to show how they would have evolved over time. Step one would have started as a self-preservation instinct that spread out to others of the same community. If the most basic individual instinct is flight or fight in a survival situation, then the most basic mutual instinct (if an animal has developed some degree of sympathy) in the higher animals is to warn one another of danger. Aside from self-preservation, self-comfort or self-satisfaction is the next strongest instinct. In a community setting, the best way to ensure self-comfort is via a mutual benefit arrangement—often literally in many animals a “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”

Thus in Darwin’s view, grooming, food-sharing, extended family care, mutual defense, hunting, and even care for the aged and slightly injured would have come about. Then physical or mental pleasure and pain drove the next stage as fear of reprisal, punishment, or shame caused animals to act for the good of the community for pride or from fear.3 It should be noted that Darwin built his theory of morality around anecdotal stories of animal’s interactions with other animals and with man. Much of what he speculated was based on others’ testimony, and much of that was anthropomorphized.

Major Problems with Darwin’s Proposal Yet Darwin acknowledged that sympathy even among the same community is not a universal aspect of social animals, and he noted that “animals sometimes are far from feeling any sympathy is too certain; for they will expel a wounded animal from the herd, or gore or worry it to death”.4 Darwin also acknowledged that pleasure and pain cannot explain every social interaction and that some must be based upon mere inherited instinct (using bird migration as an example).5 But perhaps his two most candid admissions of problems dealing with the “social animal” were in respect to man. For some reason, mankind didn’t fit the pattern of other “social animals.” The presence of a conscience and the ability to compare past and present motives and actions seemed to Darwin to be the primary things that set man apart from other animals. The question must therefore arise, how can morality have evolved from lower animals if man alone is considered by Darwin as the only moral being? Darwin wrestled with this problem as the quotes below will show.

A moral being is one who is capable of comparing his past and future actions or motives, and of approving or disapproving of them. We have no reason to suppose that any of the lower animals have this capacity . . . But in the case of man, who alone can with certainty be ranked as a moral being, actions of a certain class are called moral, whether performed deliberately, after a struggle with opposing motives, or impulsively through instinct, or from the effects of slowly-gained habit.6

Although some instincts are more powerful than others, and thus lead to corresponding actions, yet it is untenable, that in man the social instincts (including the love of praise and fear of blame) possess greater strength, or have, through long habit, acquired greater strength than the instincts of self-preservation, hunger, lust, vengeance, &c. Why then does man regret, even though trying to banish such regret, that he has followed the one natural impulse rather than the other; and why does he further feel that he ought to regret his conduct? Man in this respect differs profoundly from the lower animals.7

Inexplicable Altruism That Somehow Evolved? Ironically enough, Darwin appeals to the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12) as the highest standard of morality, yet believed and wrote that it came about via evolved sympathy as a cultivated habit. Darwin recognized that there was a higher morality exhibited by some men and women that seemed difficult to reconcile with an evolution of social morality. Yet because of his commitment to just such a principle, he was forced to believe that somehow it had, leading Darwin to hold an almost utopian view on the subject—that mankind was morally improving and would continue to do so. Ironically enough, Darwin appeals to the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12) as the highest standard of morality, yet believed and wrote that it came about via evolved sympathy as a cultivated habit.

To do good in return for evil, to love your enemy, is a height of morality to which it may be doubted whether the social instincts would, by themselves, have ever led us. It is necessary that these instincts, together with sympathy, should have been highly cultivated and extended by the aid of reason, instruction, and the love or fear of God, before any such golden rule would ever be thought of and obeyed.8

Finally the social instincts, which no doubt were acquired by man as by the lower animals for the good of the community, will from the first have given to him some wish to aid his fellows, some feeling of sympathy, and have compelled him to regard their approbation and disapprobation. Such impulses will have served him at a very early period as a rude rule of right and wrong. But as man gradually advanced in intellectual power, and was enabled to trace the more remote consequences of his actions; as he acquired sufficient knowledge to reject baneful customs and superstitions; as he regarded more and more, not only the welfare, but the happiness of his fellow-men; as from habit, following on beneficial experience, instruction and example, his sympathies became more tender and widely diffused, extending to men of all races, to the imbecile, maimed and other useless members of society, and finally to the lower animals,—so would the standard of his morality rise higher and higher.9

Looking to future generations, there is no cause to fear that the social instincts will grow weaker, and we may expect that virtuous habits will grow stronger, becoming perhaps fixed by inheritance. In this case the struggle between our higher and lower impulses will be less severe, and virtue will be triumphant.10

The moral sense perhaps affords the best and highest distinction between man and the lower animals; but I need say nothing on this head, as I have so lately endeavoured to shew that the social instincts,—the prime principle of man’s moral constitution—with the aid of active intellectual powers and the effects of habit, naturally lead to the golden rule, “As ye would that men should do to you, do ye to them likewise;” and this lies at the foundation of morality.11

Getting Better All the Time? Darwin thought as the reasoning powers of the members of a community became more advanced, each man would soon learn that if he aided his fellows, he would typically receive aid in return. From this base motive he might acquire the habit of aiding his fellows, and the habit of performing benevolent actions would strengthen the feeling of sympathy, which in turn perpetuates the impulse to continue benevolent actions. Darwin postulated that such habits followed during many generations probably tend to be inherited. Darwin again was naïve in his belief about man’s inherent “progressive morality” (and one could say, based on Darwin’s theology degree, that he was willfully naïve on this point).

It must not be forgotten that although a high standard of morality gives but a slight or no advantage to each individual man and his children over the other men of the same tribe, yet that an increase in the number of well-endowed men and an advancement in the standard of morality will certainly give an immense advantage to one tribe over another. A tribe including many members who, from possessing in a high degree the spirit of patriotism, fidelity, obedience, courage, and sympathy, were always ready to aid one another, and to sacrifice themselves for the common good, would be victorious over most other tribes; and this would be natural selection. At all times throughout the world tribes have supplanted other tribes; and as morality is one important element in their success, the standard of morality and the number of well-endowed men will thus everywhere tend to rise and increase.12 When Willful Ignorance Leads to Social Darwinism and Eugenics Darwin’s writing on the progressive morality of mankind would at first blush seem to be hopeful. A bit unrealistic perhaps, but a positive one in outlook, right? Darwin’s writing on the progressive morality of mankind would at first blush seem to be hopeful. A bit unrealistic perhaps, but a positive one in outlook, right? Well, not necessarily. Recall that Darwin’s belief was that mankind’s sympathies would expand to include “the imbecile, maimed, and other useless members of society.” Now I realize that some terms, though charged now, were technical terms of the day, such as “imbecile” and “maimed.” Today we would say mentally and physically handicapped or impaired. But notice the paraphrased thought here: someday in the future man will be able to sympathize more with those who are mentally and physically inferior to us and who do nothing to contribute to society. If you think I’m putting words into Charles Darwin’s mouth, let’s see what he said further on this subject in Chapter 5.

With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health. We civilised men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed, and the sick; we institute poor-laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of every one to the last moment. There is reason to believe that vaccination has preserved thousands, who from a weak constitution would formerly have succumbed to small-pox. Thus the weak members of civilised societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly any one is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed.13 A Short Step From Darwin to Dachau Less than 70 years after the first edition of the Descent of Man was published, one community of man (Nazi Germany) decided that they agreed with what Darwin said in the above quote taken from Chapter 5 and rejected Darwin’s statement from Chapter 4 that they had to extend sympathy to the “useless members of society.” In fact to do so in their mind would be “highly injurious to the race” of Aryan man. Darwin’s condescending tolerance towards those less mentally, physically, or medically fortunate only extended to those already in society. But Darwin bemoans that mankind would allow this cycle to continue in future generations. It is but a series of small steps from begrudging tolerance, to apathy, to dislike and distrust, to ostracization, to banishment, and finally to murder.

The Nazis and the eugenicists understood Darwin’s words all too well. The Nazis had no tolerance for anyone outside what they termed the Aryan stock, and they murdered or enslaved everyone else (and the Nazis were not the only people during the early 1900s to implement social Darwinian and Eugenics programs: the Imperial Japanese did the same).14

The Nazis and the eugenicists understood Darwin’s words all too well. The Nazis had no tolerance for anyone outside what they termed the Aryan stock. The eugenicists (in Europe, Canada, America, Australia, and New Zealand) tolerated those already alive but, through forced sterilization, wanted to ensure that there was no future “degeneration of the race.” Eugenicist’s main goals were to isolate “defective” members of the community and prevent them from “breeding” to “strengthen the racial stock” of the country. Children with learning disabilities, and especially those with Down Syndrome, were often forcibly removed from their homes and sent to institutions. Adults with those conditions were often institutionalized as well. And most stayed there for the rest of their life. The eugenics programs were at their core elitist, “racist” (meaning they were often implemented against non-Caucasian peoples), sexist (many more women than men were targeted for sterilization), and against personal liberties and property rights.15 Sadly, many countries had eugenics laws in place even before the Nazis came to power, and many survived several decades past the fall of the Third Reich.16

The 20th century was not kind to Darwin’s utopian vision of a progressive morality. With the horrors of two World Wars, the Holocaust, several other wars (Korea, Vietnam, Gulf), and several civil wars rife with genocidal and “ethnic cleansings,” mankind did not progress morally. If anything, man went backward.

The (True) Descent of Man Darwin got one thing very right, the title of his book. But it was not as he thought, in regard to the ancestry of man, rather it was and is to mankind’s morality. Darwin believed that mankind descended from lower animals but that his morals were ascending upward and would continue to do so. Scripture however says just the opposite. Mankind was originally created perfect, directly by God, and given dominion over all of creation (Genesis 1:26–31), from which he was separate. But since the fall of man in Genesis 3, we have not been on an upward trajectory of morality; rather we have spiraled downward—we are in a rapid moral descent.

Jesus didn’t advocate grudgingly tolerating your neighbors but rather loving them as yourself. He didn’t want to eradicate the physically handicapped: he healed them. Jesus didn’t advocate grudgingly tolerating your neighbors but rather loving them as yourself. He didn’t want to eradicate the physically disabled: he healed them. He didn’t treat the less-wealthy or less-educated as less-worthy. In fact, he made some of them his disciples and sat down to eat and fellowship with others. He didn’t shy away from tax collectors and sinners: he sought them out to save them (Matthew 9:11–13; Luke 19:10).

Even Darwin saw that the teaching of Jesus was on an entirely different plane than the common morality of his day. Yet he still was committed to the principle that such high morality had evolved from basically a selfish quid-pro-quo start. Though Darwin attempted to trace morality from self-preservation, to cooperation, to instinct, and finally to habit—all guided by some vague notion of sympathy—he really had no ultimate basis for doing so. He even acknowledged that there were some problems with the linear progression of morality. His belief that “an advancement in the standard of morality will certainly give an immense advantage to one tribe over another” was shown to ring hollow in the 20th century, when totalitarian regimes murdered millions of people. Stalin “purged” 50 million of his “own tribe,” Pol Pot murdered 2–3 million of his own people, and there have been countless other dictators and tyrants.

People tend to look at all the evil in the world and somehow blame God for it; yet Christianity has the only answer to why there is evil in the world. An original perfect creation by a loving and just God was subsequently marred by mankind’s sin and rebellion (Genesis 3). Yet if there were no God and everything, including morality, just evolved, then there really is no evil. There are just hard circumstances and people with less-evolved morality than ours. And who is to say that their morality is worse? That is just an arbitrary assumption and assertion. A quote by author Andrea Dilley as mentioned in a Christian Post article really captured her struggle with the essence of the origin and source of morality. Her story serves as a good way to close this discussion.

When people ask me, what drove me out the doors of the church and then what brought me back, my answer to both questions is the same. I left the church in part because I was mad at God about human suffering and injustice. And I came back to church because of that same struggle. I realized that I couldn’t even talk about justice without standing inside of a theistic framework. In a naturalistic worldview, a parentless orphan in the slums of Nairobi can only be explained in terms of survival of the fittest. We’re all just animals slumming it in a godless world, fighting for space and resources. The idea of justice doesn’t really mean anything. To talk about justice, you have to talk about objective morality, and to talk about objective morality, you have to talk about God.17

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celiarollins · 4 years ago

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Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund Competitors: Auto-Owners Property & Casualty InsuranceServices & Policies Go » Go » Products or services may not be available in all states and product features may vary by state. Auto-Owners Home Insurance Americans Family International Life Insurance company offers a range of insurance and financial products, including home and auto policies. Policy features: Home and auto in-house. Insurance claims paid by American Family Independent Agents and Broker Umbrella insurance policy, also called : Umbrella insurance includes all kinds of insurance. Other insurance products: Life insurance in the family. Medical expenses paid by American Family Independent Agents Equipment breakdown. Frequently asked questions about auto, home and condo insurance. Auto or car insurance isn t just one thing you can do or expect. As a consumer, you’re probably wondering: when.

How many Employees does Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund have?

How many Employees does Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund have? If you are a Maryland Auto Insurance Fund member, you may be able to get your own copy of the policy for the same amount. We offer comprehensive California auto insurance products. With us, you will be certain that there are no hidden or hidden fees! At Progressive Insurance, we offer competitive rates with personalized service. We work with insurance companies from all over the state to ensure that you are fully covered. We take pride in our customer care, ensuring that you get the best and lowest rates possible. We work hard to deliver the highest quality insurance offers available in the insurance marketplace. With over 25 offices nationwide, and 18 locations throughout California, we work to ensure that your personal circumstances do not depend on your business. We will work to make your insurance needs more personalized by designing insurance plans that are tailored to fit your lifestyle.

Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund Overview

Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund Overview of benefits and charges. Discounts are based on vehicle age, prior insurance, driving experience, credit score, and vehicle model. Discount offers may vary by state. Information on the insurer s website: Available financial statistics for the state, some of which can be found in the . If the insurer does not currently offer the listed types of insurance, the insurer can do so only. Rates are subject to change, and not guaranteed. Note: In Georgia, a policy is available for an average of only 6 months, with the average monthly premium being $64. Some counties might not allow coverage for a longer period. Note: A 30- to age 40-day extension may apply to all policies. Policy periods are determined by the insurer s underwriting standards. State deadlines for coverage, which vary by state, are set once every six months. As an example, if Iss. Code §13-101(.

Who are Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund s competitors?

Who are Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund s competitors? This organization is responsible for the financial protection of companies like the MD Automobile Association from loss or liability claims, as well as its customers. They provide the legal services for the financial protection and protection of their customers. This is known as a “special risk insurance program”, which is designed to help the insured protect themselves and others who may be victim of car accidents, such as residents and drivers without any of their driver s licenses or financial records. The Automobile Insurance Fund offers coverage for the following auto insurers: New Jersey: The Automobile Insurance Fund’s liability policy protects all drivers in one policy in the New York that use car and van on the road. The policy covers the vehicles owned by drivers in the New York. New Jersey: The Automobile Insurance Fund has its headquarters in Hartford, Connecticut in Hartford. The organization works to help its members to achieve their goals, which is why its name is the.

Are You An Executive, HR Leader, Or Brand Manager At Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund?

Are You An Executive, HR Leader, Or Brand Manager At Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund? I m the Executive Committee member of the and I help manage all of the company s insurance policies and are also a client of a local company. I was working while I did, and it didn t pay for the parking. I was paying a lot of money which I was not going to use because it was a car dealership or garage where they can t take a picture of the car. I tried calling and texting and all they said was that it did not matter. It did not. It was a business policy, not on the road. I tried to change it, and they told me not to change it, and I called one to try and help, but the rep didn t answer me. My best idea is to call and speak with the agent, but they may not have answers. I went through the phone number for the dealership and the rep said he could not talk to me without my permission. I called the rep and called back and said they could contact me,.

How Would You Rate The Company Culture Of Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund?

How Would You Rate The Company Culture Of Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund? There are a ton of articles that describe all of the negative comments about this group of car insurance carriers, even though many of them are not quite as bad as these guys are. This is a great article, it gives me an insight into Maryland Automobile Insurance fund (LIA) which is well worth reading. I am an owner and the LIA for 18 years and the premiums were very high. I have never owned anything else in my life except my house. After I died i was thinking how much was i gonna pay for a lia policy (which is not like a traditional lia policy) which will the lia pay out on that policy? Can anyone advise you about this? Great article. My sister lives in DC, her husband is on a life insurance, the company is a California company, I am asking a lot of really really really really really questions, so please leave a comment? I didn t know about any of this LIA car insurance companies, but I.

Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund Financial Performance

Maryland Automobile Insurance Fund Financial Performance Report, 2019-2030 (WXLS-1400-000) In all cases, the insured has failed to comply with his or her state insurance regulatory responsibility. For a California driver violating the state insurance code in 2020 to 2020, the director may suspend or revoke his license plates. Contacted California Division of Insurance and Financial Services regarding a policy in Oregon, Virginia, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Washington, D.C. The Division of Insurance issued an online alert requesting that all drivers that have been charged with driving under the influence, either by the Department of Motor Vehicles, or by an uninsured driver be notified of the new charges. All drivers must notify the director and appear at a DMV office. Frequently asked questions California requires proof of insurance and provides a certificate of proof of insurance to prove the driver’s financial responsibility. In response to state law requiring proof of insurance, drivers have the option to.

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nomiruiz · 8 years ago

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The Lingering Trauma of Searching for Love as a Trans Youth

by Nomi Ruiz

When I was a teenage girl, I dated an extremely handsome and charming man named Diego. We met over the internet, and eventually would spend time together in his souped-up truck, talking and touching beneath the moonlight, under the loud boom of his sound system as his brand new rims glistened in the night. Eventually we graduated to the back seat, where we fucked all over that fresh interior until the sun began to rise. Slowly, as our relationship progressed, our tryst moved up to his apartment. That seemed like a big deal to me; we had never stepped foot onto the same concrete until that very moment.

The world wasn’t ready to see a man lusting over a trans woman, and so there was an unspoken agreement between us to never be seen together in public. Imagine what would happen, we thought, if strangers saw the look in our eyes as we sat across from one another at a dinner table. It was too much for us to even consider, so we chose to avoid public circumstances. There would be no holding hands on our way to brunch on a Sunday. No overnight stay, or sweet goodbyes in the a.m. as he scurried off to work, wondering if I was still in his bed, in his t-shirt—wondering if I was wondering about him. We knew we were safe in the dim light of his bachelor pad, hidden behind the fantasy and fallacy of it all. For what crooked smile could question the intent of star-crossed lovers if we never challenged their belief system? If we never even questioned the world around us and remain encapsulated in the callous act of limited love? Secrecy seemed like an easy solution.

This went on for a couple of years. The sex was exceptional and over time we became connected deeper on an emotional level—until one night it all came to a screeching halt. During one of our lengthy telephone conversations, he said, “Damn Nomi, if only things were different we would be in love,” and in that moment, the spell was broken. The magic had vanished, and I finally saw beneath it all.

I knew he was telling me he loved me while using a language that hurt me. I knew he was making an attempt to dedicate himself to me while asking for forgiveness. I was an outcast who taught myself that love was a weakness, but as I began to feel it for the first time I realized that love was like death, it was unavoidable and it was coming for all of us. In that moment of unveiling rage, I learned a lesson in both love and hate. Maybe over the course of our relationship I had silently accepted the barriers he built in his mind, but by no means had I ever given up on love. I was open to loving him even if it meant I was weak. In that moment, however, I realized it would never be an option. It would never happen in this context because he was in possession of a dead end soul. He was ashamed of his desire for a trans woman and wouldn’t let our love to come to life. Not in public and definitely not in his heart.

I told him he was right, that if only things were different we could be together, but I wasn’t the one who needed to change; it was him and his closed mind.“You understand what I’m saying! You know how I feel,” he argued. “I love being with you. I don’t want this to end. If only things were different. If only things were real.”

I stood there, shocked by his delusion. “You are going to die old and lonely,” I responded, “looking back at life regretting never having given yourself the opportunity to live your truth.” I never spoke to him again. And almost a decade later, I was right. Although he’s not dead yet he is still chasing me, still chasing his truth.

Diego was one of many lovers who kept me in the dark. Many who I never met at a restaurant for dinner or at a bar for drinks. Never did we go to a theater to catch a movie or a walk through a park. No museum visits or romantic nights out on the town. It was door-to-door delivery service, like Seamless for lovers. It was easy. Why face the pressures of society? Why take the chance of someone realizing I was trans and giving us a hard time? Why take the chance of his friends and family finding out he preferred the company of me over a cis woman? Why put us through that shame?

My fear of judgement allowed me to accept this poor treatment. Even as I grew older, prouder and wiser, I felt as if I was never perfect enough to be on the arm of a man. As society began to accept me because I grew to be what it deemed beautiful, I still wondered, was I beautiful enough? Beautiful enough for love—beautiful enough to be loved in public? Why couldn’t we just live in a fantasy? Why couldn’t we hide from violence? Why did we have to prove anything to anyone?

It was all too much for my lovers and myself, so we never put ourselves in that position. We created safe spaces in the comfort of our homes, or whatever hotel room was available. Our intimacy only existed in these moments, and sometimes these romantic bubbles would become our primary relationships. Lighting and lingerie; our favorite wine and music. It was always the perfect setting with no pressure. We’d make love like beasts behind those closed doors, our sanctuary. We would speak about the possibilities of our future through weed smoke and locked lips. We’d discuss what the future held for us or would hold for us… if only things were “different.” Once, a man imagined how I would be pregnant, and I had to listen to him describe what our child would look like, how we would live together in a one-bedroom in Spanish Harlem where we would have way too much sex for our own good. We became addicted to this standard of love. Addicted to pretending we didn’t want something more from our trysts and to pretending our trysts were actually something more. It was easy to fantasize while living in a dream, for fantasies are not frightful nor do they cause any pain. The reality of seeing them through was the nightmare.

To this day I’ve kept some of these lovers. Not because I keep my romantic life hidden behind closed doors anymore, but because these men are still addicted to these moments of fantasy. Addicted to the sex and safety of it all. And even though I live my life in reality now, it is still easy to dip back into that bubble. I mean, who doesn’t love a comfortable night of wining and dining and fucking ‘til the sun rises while Mobb Deep plays lightly in the background, right? But as I find myself owning my identity and stepping into womanhood with pride, realizing my worth and what I actually want out of an adult relationship I can’t help but wonder: Am I enabling these men?

Eventually, I met my first serious boyfriend. We were together for five years and had a fairly normal relationship. But one night while we were having an argument, he said, “You should be thankful for having a man like me who accepts you.” I told him, “This is not special. You are not rare. This is normal. And the same way you accept me, there are millions of other men out there just like you.”

Although I may not have fully believed myself as the words fell from my lips, I was right. Since then, there have been others. I’ve met some extraordinary men who are brave and who have allowed themselves to be present with me even in the face of society’s judgment, but it has definitely been a journey—and I’m only now realizing how I’ve carried so much trauma from my shameful past. It turns out those safe spaces I created for myself and my lovers were actually danger zones, and were extremely detrimental to my mental health. I let myself believe that I was not worthy of love or of being treated with the same respect as any other woman walking this earth. I love a good passionate, private night indoors, but not under the pretense of shame. At one point I found myself involved in a terribly abusive relationship. I was so used to being shrouded in this constant shame that I found comfort in being trapped and controlled—comfort in what I believed to be a constant exhibition of pride and love through anger. He couldn’t live without me. He would show me off to the world and even challenged his parents when they threatened to withhold his inheritance because I was trans and couldn’t bear children. He was ignited by the anger in their eyes. It excited him. It made him feel alive. His revenge was a threat brought to life. He would die without me. He would kill for me, and even kill me, if I ever thought of leaving. In his own words, he would “dig my grave.”

My trauma had convinced me that this was love because it was out in the open. All his rebellion—in the face of a rich, traditional family and in the face of the society I had feared my whole life—became my revenge as well. Eventually, this sense of redemption became the misstep which left me open to receive even more trauma. I told myself how no one else could love him because I was the only one who understood his madness. I settled into the pain while giving him all my magic only to be handed back a diminished soul. “Forget about the bruises on your body babe,” he told me. “Imagine if they could see the bruises I put on your soul.” I allowed my character to be assassinated because I was high off his pride and, after years of building it up, had a high tolerance for pain—so high I didn’t even realize I was hurting.

Thankfully, it began to hurt too much. I never thought I would be thankful for pain but it saved me. It rose to the surface and finally became unbearable. I planned my escape. When I left, not only did I take my belongings, I also brought with me a new set of traumas that still follow me as I navigate my way through life and love. I still have a lingering fear and anxiety about dating in public places, but once I push through I begin to realize it’s only in my head. Getting there is the hard part. Meeting men by chance while I’m already out in public is much easier for me—but I find myself surrounded by predatory men attracted to my past sexual, emotional and mental trauma. Sometimes I’d rather not deal with it at all. Being alone is so peaceful. Loneliness is my new safe space, but there are times when I let myself out of that cozy little bubble and I meet men who actually don’t give a fuck what anyone else has to say. I call them brave and they tell me, “This isn’t bravery, this is humanity.”

I still don’t understand all of this. I’m still learning. But I know the more I stand up for myself and refuse to settle for less, the stronger I’m becoming and the less my traumas seem to have a hold on me. Saying it out loud has been the first step for me. Talking about it with friends, admitting to them when they ask “How are you?’ that I’m actually not that great. You’d be surprised how many times they appear relieved and reply, “Me neither.” I’ve learned to love myself unconditionally and I hope someday that will be enough. As a good friend recently told me, “Eventually you’ve gotta just jump and figure out that you have a daughter on your hands and it’s yourself and you have take care of her.”

It’s difficult to admit that you will never be a part of the society you’ve grown to know. But what if that freed us? What if looking good on paper became poisonous? What if being that thing the world rejects made you feel sexy and you found power in that feeling? How powerful it could be to find confidence and love yourself in the face of such opposition. I hope being rejected makes others feel beautiful, powerful and unique—because rejection is only a violent form of jealousy. I especially wish this for young trans women who are navigating their way through womanhood. What a fragile device, to be frail in the eyes of the preying.

It’s only now that I see how much pain I caused myself. I look back and I feel so sorry for that poor, young girl who only wanted to love and be loved. To touch and be touched. To make love and build love and live in love. I hurt her, and it isn’t until now that I finally see it and I need to apologize. I’m sorry, Nomi, for causing you so much pain all those years. Sorry for poisoning your mind to believe that you are not worthy of love. You are worthy, you are love, and I know that now.

#nomi ruiz #ptsd #girlslikeus #transgender #dating #trauma

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ask-the-crimson-king · 3 years ago

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((This was FAR too big for an ask, put a read more cut where you see fit))

Ok, so the accusing anon mentioned it was the Progress Flag they saw and the way they worded their explanation kinda went in a few directions, which I'll try to sort through:

"Nazi and Nazbol [Nazi-Bolshevik] Groups": Yes, that is a thing that exists, but on a smaller scale online and not nearly as prominent in the living world as other supremacist ideologies. Yes, there are people who actually looked at the darkest days of both German and Soviet History and decided "This could work well together", but they are dunked-on HARD by both pro-fascists and pro-communists by their very nature. Do not ask me how neo-Nazis and Tankies got together in such an unholy union or what they stand for because none of it makes sense to my Bachelor's education degree with social science emphasis OR my regrettable experience from both groups in my soon-to-be 29 years of life

"Eth Nat [Ethnic Nationalist] desires": Yes, those unfortunately exist around the world. Racism and ethnic cleansing isn't a solely White practice, but it's definitely been done by Whites throughout US history and its affects (and believers) still exist to this very day. Only non-White supremacist American group I can recall is the very loose online Hotep community (remember the "We were kings" memes?) that's legitimately Black supremacist and also incredibly anti-Semitic, homophobic and misogynistic---so taking a rainbow flag wouldn't be their work || [Don't forget the ethno-nationalist cleansing of Armenians that is still happening right now, and the settler-colonialism happening with the Palestinians.]

"Representing clear racial politics": Well, I guess if you loosely define Black Lives Matter and its main message of "stop profiling us as criminals and even if we are criminals, treat us humanely as you do White criminals", then it would count as "racial/identity politics". So would the "Stop Asian Hate" movement in response to COVID fearmongering, but if we're really defining any political movement (for good or for ill) as "racial" if it affects a given race, then practically everything is racial politics---by nature of people of different races experiencing things, even within the same country or social class

___ [I think they were trying to say Nazi and Nazi-adjacent groups were seeing the flag as depicting "clear racial politics". I have seen fascists use this talking point, but against non-white minorities. Never for them.] ___

"Protected by a strong border": That definitely is a policy point put forward by ethnic nationalists, pro-fascists, etc. and groups have tried to parrot or "steal" progressive groups' rhetoric to then apply to border security (remember that map of America made into a cartoon woman, gripping her skirt as a hand from the South reaches up, all with the caption "My borders, my choice"?). As for how black and brown are "stronger" colors than pink and white, that's entirely a cultural bias in associating light or warm colors with femininity or "weakness"---which is why Hitler rotated the original Hindu swastika 45 degrees to resemble an X rather than a cross and painted it black rather than the usual pink or light purple, as well as why the upside-down pink triangle was used to mark LGBT+ citizens

"The fact that four in rotation makes a swastika": I mean, if you were to completely disfigure any 4 stripes in such a way, it could resemble an X or a cross, but the swastika itself has 4 more "legs" that stick out from the base. But with how much the human mind needs to warp any given lines into a new symbol, you may as well just slap the graven image itself on the thing and be forthright with it

[And they do! Homofascists/4Chan or generally right-wing trolls in the past have, indeed, simply slapped it on the standard 6-color pride flag.

More info on fascism/it's supporters/how it gains traction under the cut.]

As for whether so-called progressive people do parrot fascist rhetoric and support fascist policy? That is also unfortunately true. Don't ask me how I know this or how this even could happen, but there were a few Trans Fascists I came across and I found two of their flags: one being just the swastika slapped onto the Trans Pride flag, the other being the Lesbian Labrys in the place of the axe in the fasces symbol (that ancient Roman symbol of a magistrate's power over life and death, the origin of the term "fascist/fascism") on the Trans Pride Flag

___ [People who try to be progressive but fall into the pit-falls of Nazi or fascist ideology are why we have NazBols. It's why we see groups trying to "take the land back" and basically create woke ethno-states for marginalized people. I am not saying this referring to indigenous peoples who are fighting to keep their land (which I do indeed support), I have also heard weird Tankie-esque stuff about Black people feeling so much safer away from whites, and other people of color who may feel the same. Thus creating a separatist divide and creating "woke" ethno-states -- "It's for the good of the minorities so they can feel safer!" Or we could talk about and tackle the systemic problems leading to people feeling this way? How about that instead? "But it'll never work!" It won't if you never try.

Don't fall for Black separatism, kids. You are not only feeding into the interests of white supremacists, but you're also becoming a reactionary in the process. Just because you are white, it does not mean you are an inherent threat to your nonwhite comrades. Diversity is strength. Remember that.] ___

My own hot take? We should remember that at the very core of Nazi ideology---no matter how many self-proclaimed LGBT+ individuals also proclaim to be Nazis, no matter how many non-Whites or women march beside them, no matter how many Nazis claim otherwise---is Nazism is straight White male supremacy and those undoubtedly deluded into being their "allies" are simply a means to gaining government office democratically

But once that purpose is served, they too will be slaughtered. Anyone PoC, LGBT, non-Christian or otherwise not fitting the mold of "the Supreme Master RaceTM" who is utterly duped into supporting their agenda (and cause them to succeed) would merely buy themselves a stay of execution at the cost of their neighbors' lives---before their blood also becomes the oil on the gears and their bodies also become the coal in the furnaces of the fascist war-machine

Populism, the Nazis' preferred tactic and a pillar of fascist ideology, is dependent upon democratic majority. It would be incredibly stupid (though these ARE Nazis and fascists we're talking about, so the bar is well beneath the floor as it is) to instantly demonize everyone who doesn't fit their tight mold the moment they set foot on the streets. They will deny being homophobic. They will deny being racist. They will pay lip-service to feminists. They will force a smile on their faces and hold back their gag reflex in the company of "lesser beings" just long enough to get some votes

Hitler did not seize power overnight. Hitler did not seize power, period. Hitler was elected by the desperate, the foolish and the ambitious in equal measures. The Nazi Party did not run door-to-door to viciously murder every Jew the second Hitler was inaugurated. Every Jew was not immediately sent to the death camps. The Jews were not Hitler's only victims. The Jews were not even Hitler's first victims, though the Jewish casualty count is the still highest that we can confirm

In order to both remove the "undesirables" from Germany and to control the German populace, Hitler and the Nazis went down a very long list. Every potential political opponent, every ethnicity, every possible demographic and label besides "Aryan Nazi supporter" was scheduled to be systematically demonized, discriminated, disappeared and destroyed when it was most convenient for the Nazi Party to do so

When it was ultimately the Jewish people's turn, the removal of their humanity was a long and gradual process of public indoctrination and supported legislation that lasted several years. Once the Jews were stripped of rights and thought of as nothing more than vermin by the German masses, the Nazis simply played their willing role as exterminators. Whether the Germans thought it would go so far or would go so bloodily is an afterthought that came far too late

Remember well the words of regretful Hitler supporter and Holocaust survivor, Martin Niemoller:

"First they came for the Communists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the Socialists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists And I did not speak out Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews And I did not speak out Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me And there was no one left To speak out for me."

To all those who those who look upon their far-right reactionary movement and think "They will always stand by me and the power I give them will never be used against me": You could not be any more wrong, yet you already believe their lies

----

[Good and informative post for those not already familiar with any of these terms, which is why I put the cut where I did. I also added a bit of my own commentary here and there to try and provide examples along with an explanation of the terms I was using.]

#fascism cw #nazi cw #genocide cw #genocide mention #good shit #submission

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quicklovesolutions-blog · 5 years ago

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Husband And Wife Dispute Problem Solution - How To Resolve Conflicts Between Husband And Wife

I recently received a question from a friend of mine about problems she and her husband are having resolving conflicts. This is such a common problem in relationships. If you can relate, you're normal! This is how she shared her frustrations...

"I get so frustrated with how my husband and I can't resolve conflicts. Is there a "right" way that works?"

Here's my answer... This is such a great question! Know that you're not alone. Many couples feel ongoing frustration over their inability to come up with solutions that satisfy both people. While coming up with a fool-proof plan for resolving conflict is a worthy goal, it is also very important to realize the important foundation that needs to be in place in order for couples to work together to solve conflicts.

According to John Gottman, Ph.D., happy marriages are based on a deep friendship... a mutual respect for one another, and an enjoyment of one another's company. This deep friendship does not prevent arguments; instead it gives couples a "secret weapon" that helps those arguments not get out of hand.

When couples have not been able to build this friendship, they may find themselves endlessly fighting the same arguments over and over again. Most arguments are not about the issue argued about, but instead are more about a deep frustration or loneliness in the marriage. Interestingly enough, most conflicts around sexual intimacy could be solved by focusing on building the friendship in the marriage first.

It might be helpful to know that couples have different styles of conflict. No one style is deemed better than another. What does matter is that the style work for both people. Another surprising fact is that most marital arguments cannot be resolved, when the focus is on changing the other person. It simply can't be done. Couples would fare much better to work on building the friendship in the marriage and out of this closeness, work toward coming up with solutions that are good for both people.

In his book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work", Gottman offers lots of helpful and practical ideas for healing and strengthening marriages. I'll share two now. These hints are helpful when sharing a problem in any relationship you are in.

1. Pick your battles. This is a well-known cliche, but it is undeniably good advice. You don't want your partner walking on eggshells because you get upset about every little thing. In the same sense, it is not healthy to hold everything in and never address your partner when their actions rub you the wrong way. Doing the latter will usually leave you in either a constant state of unhappiness or an explosive argument. You must find a healthy balance between addressing issues and letting some things go; and only you know what that balance is. It is different for everyone. Husband and wife dispute problem solution: this is the first step on how to resolve conflicts between husband and wife.

2. Refrain from insults. Sometimes when we are hurt by something our partner does, we want to find a way to hurt them back. Often, the first thing that comes to our mind is hurting them with our words. Getting even may feel good for the moment, but it will do more damage in the long run. It is like throwing fuel on a burning fire instead of finding a way to put the fire out. Even if the two of you are able to progress long enough to resolve the disagreement, those hurtful insults will linger indefinitely with your partner.

3. Drop your defenses. Sometimes our pride will cause us to listen in a defensive manner, only hearing "You were wrong!" Remember that you and your partner are on the same team. View these disagreements as conversations you are having with your teammate to brainstorm for solutions to a problem preventing your team from being the best they can be. When you look at it from a different angle like that, you can truly make progress.

4. Let go of the "blame game." If your partner is bringing your attention to something you did, do not turn around and mention when they previously committed a similar act. If their previous actions bothered you, you should have made mention of it when it occurred. Don't decide to bring it up just because your own faults are being brought to light. Also, be specific with the things you are addressing. If you are going to mention it, be prepared to present real, actual examples of what they did, when they did it, how it made you feel, and why you felt that way. Don't be vague.

5. Practice active listening. Your goal should be to seek a full understanding of your partner's train of thought through their words. Don't just wait for an opening to respond. Don't spend the entire time thinking about what you want to say next. And definitely avoid interrupting them. Truly listen to your partner's statements and focus on what they are communicating to you. If you need to pause and think of a response when they are finished talking, do so.

6. Set standards for future incidents. This will answer the question of "What now?" For example, it is not enough for you to let your partner know how a situation made you feel. Your partner may understand your feelings and still not know how to avoid making you feel that way again. Discuss what you would like to see done differently if a similar situation arises in the future. This template may look different for every couple. It is important that your partner is given the opportunity to truly understand how your mind operates.

7. Express your gratitude. Thank your partner for listening and caring enough to try to resolve the conflict or disagreement. By doing so, you are highlighting their positive qualities and acknowledging how many negative ways they could have chosen to respond. This will encourage them to continue being open to healthy means of resolving conflict in the future.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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genetimothy3-blog · 5 years ago

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Gene Timothy Excellent Article With Many Great Tips About Leadership

Gene Timothy Qualified tips provider. Being a great leader requires a lot of patience, organization and many other important skills. There are also many different techniques you can use when interaction with your team that can help you be a better leader. For tips on improving these important leadership skills and more, keep reading.

Never belittle your coworkers. Your subordinates will never respect you if you do not treat them with respect. Remember that you are not better than they are. Consider yourself fortunate to be a leader. Treating your coworkers as you would want to be treated will go a long way in developing a cooperative team.

Offer incentives to employees who continually perform well. You can use a standard model with known rewards or surprise good employees with some type of recognition and bonus. Be sure you don't make promises that you can't keep. Always encourage your employees to do their best work and make sure each one understands their role in your organization.

A smart way to show more leadership is to be decisive. As the leader, you are likely to have to make many decisions. If the team has a couple different opinions regarding problem solutions, decide on a solution that will benefit everyone instead of a couple people.

Be sure that you spend some time each day out of your office, and in the midst of the workforce. Try to be a part of the group, while maintaining your leadership role. You can use this time to get to know your employees, ask questions or even join them for lunch.

To better your leadership skills, don't act like an expert in everything. You may have great ideas that you think are perfect, but the people around you may also be able to bring something to the table. They can add to your plan with their own great ideas.

A great idea for anyone in a leadership role to try is to periodically write an "open letter" to the team members, or workforce. In this letter, you can acknowledge good work, overall performance and show your appreciation for all they do. There is nothing like a little praise to boost morale.

Gene Timothy Most excellent service provider. Set high standards aimed at meeting your goals but make sure your goals are attainable. This just sets your team up to fail. That will in fact prove you aren't a good leader.

To be a good business leader, always keep an eye out for more than your current problems and urgent matters. What that means is to always be open to opportunities that present themselves. You never know when you might make the right potential professional contact or see a chance to make some money suddenly. Always be prepared for these moments.

Don't manage, lead. There's a big difference between a manager and a leader. Managers maximize productivity and work on the day to day. Leaders inspire and raise the company up with vision. It's big picture stuff. If you spend too much time managing, you'll never be able to show yourself as a leader to your company.

Strive for excellence. Don't ever settle for "good enough." Great teams always try to set the bar a bit higher each time. As a good leader, set high standards for yourself and make sure there are ways to measure them. Know what that standard is and hold others accountable to it. Don't just evaluate their progress, but try seeking perspectives from those other organizations that inspire you. Learn from their experiences and try finding ways to make them work for your team.

If you are the leader of a business, you should never let your personal opinions get in the way of how you do business. For example, never pass somebody up for a promotion simply because you do not like them. If they deserve to advance, you should set your feelings aside and make it happen.

When it comes to being a leader at work, it is important that you prioritize. If you place things that are not very vital at the top of the list, you will look incompetent. Make sure that the things that need to get done are completed in a good amount of time.

Gene Timothy Expert tips provider. As a leader, you must set clear, uncomplicated goals. Be sure that your team can attain them, even if they are a challenge. Give a reward for each goal met, and when it is met, hand out the reward immediately. From the time we are children, this example of goals and rewards motivates us to strive to meet new challenges. It's how people work, and it will work in your workplace.

Emotional intelligence plays a large role in your success as a leader. It's not enough to know every policy, procedure, and protocol. You also have to know people! Research in this area reveals that a leader's mood can have a significant impact on team members' performance. A positive, forward-thinking attitude tends to result in higher productivity and greater job satisfaction.

The difference between a charismatic leader and a self-aggrandizing leader is the former's ability to back up his or her claims. While the charismatic leader does take pride in these accomplishments, the key reason for sharing them is to inspire others. Try to use your past successes and experiences to give others the confidence they need to achieve their own goals.

The best leaders are inevitably ones who have a knack for hiring the right people to work with them, assembling a team that is both cohesive and motivated. One bad apple spoils the whole bunch, as the saying goes. When putting together the winning team, an effective leader is able to recognize the weak link and remove it from the chain.

Gene Timothy Top service provider. There are many skills and techniques that go into being an effective leader. If you do not already master these important skills, it is time to practice. Being an effective leader requires it. Use the helpful information above to become a better leader. You company and employees are sure to benefit if you do.

#Gene Timothy

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mollyalicia3 · 6 years ago

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Transforming Your Business and Industry Image, Right Now!

A & C Septic Services, LLC, has been building its upstate New Jersey family business since mid-2011. Cheri Errico runs the business office, does the creative marketing, including much of the branding design, processes receivables and payables, does all special event management, and handles much of A & C’s customer relations. We spent some time with this extraordinarily busy business owner recently, talking about typical industry topics, when it became clear that we were talking to an unique individual in the industry, in any industry—a legitimate change agent. After 20 years with the Municipal Utilities Authority (where A & C currently dumps its septic), Jon Errico gave up his job. He and his wife Cheri then embarked on full-time management of their own business. Jon’s public works job had started his thought process toward the prospect of operating a septic services business in the area.

Inspiration — We Can Do That! Cheri reflects on how it all started, “Jon had observed that a lot of trucks outside our area were traveling a pretty long distance to service customers’ locations near us. He realized that there must be a need, since they were coming from far away to provide service here. He was already well versed on the industry, and the whole process of waste management. Jon had acquired a lot of knowledge in the industry and had developed a strong skill set over the years that applies well to septic business operations. Together with Cheri’s impressive range of business and administrative management skills, the move to independent business ownership in the industry certainly made sense for Jon and Cheri.

Service — We’re Doing It Best! Cheri modestly accounts for what distinguishes A & C, “It’s just that old fashioned customer service. You get me when you call. There’s no answering machine—no push this button or push that number. And, that’s something we take a lot of pride in.” (A & C answers the business phone 24 hours per day.) “We do more for our customers than they can get elsewhere in our market. When there’s a need or a problem, we respond more quickly.” Out on customers’ sites, she proudly reflects her husband’s quality ethic, “He leaves the tank and area in such pristine condition that customers can’t tell that the service has been performed. He takes his time with tarps—so no waste is left on anyone’s yard. No dirt from digging is ever left over. He takes a lot of pride, and he’s dependable. He’s not a 9 to 5 guy. He says his day is done when the work is done.” In her relaxed and succinct manner, Cheri wraps up her thought on this point, “We just genuinely care about our customers’ satisfaction. And, we get a lot of feedback from customers who let us know that they notice that.”

Successfully Nurturing a Home-Based Septic Business A & C is still a small business right now, though it has been moving forward. The company currently has 140 portable toilet units, constituting a division that Jon’s step-son now helps manage. They’ve also invested in their first luxury toilet trailer, and plan to add inventory of those units. Jon continues to do all the septic pumping. And, now A & C is looking to hire an employee to help with the septic. Cheri assess this as the business’s best year so far.

Wow! Something Actually Different! Just take a look through the A & C Septic Services website photo gallery to see the fine touches Cheri Errico adds to the company’s portable restrooms for birthday parties and other special events. Cheri and Jon are working to remove the impression of a portable restroom as the kind of space that users have experienced in the past. Cheri has proven that the exteriors can be presented more attractively, with little awnings, and the interiors can be made surprisingly light and charming. She adds little vases of fresh flowers and other quaint accents, to brighten up the spaces and add a surprise pop of color and interest. It’s such a refreshing change of image, exceeding all of customers’ expectations, and enhancing their events with such upgrades from the usual strictly necessary utility that people dreaded using.

Who Needs Branding?! The special service model described in the section above has been serving A & C very well, in terms of a branding vehicle. Cheri notes that the company doesn’t spend much time on traditional physical branding approaches. They focus much more on social branding, and enhancing services, which cultivates positive word of mouth from satisfied customers. She explains, “Uniforms would be nice, and they’re less expense on the employees, but we have financial priorities in other areas at this point.” And, because the business is located on the family’s farm, they prefer not to have signage at the location, of course. But, Cheri emphasizes, “We do maintain signage on the trucks; we feel strong about having the constant billboard effect of our advertisements on the trucks. We update those. And, I just updated the A & C logo. We want to keep it fresh, modifying it every few years or so, to keep the image looking new. I don’t want it to look too different, to keep it recognizable as ours.”

Sharing Common Industry Woes But, “finding the right fit in hiring is not easy,” Cheri reports. Not a lot of people can handle the waste part. We’re very passionate about changing the old cliché about what we do. And, as for the customers, many see it as a very rough job, but they want to pay peanuts. We set a rate for what we do, and we don’t really provide much wiggle room on it.” Cheri also discussed a problem we rarely hear much about in the way of solutions, “We service Cape May, Stone Harbor, Avalon, Ocean City, and other areas along the southern New Jersey coast, where a lot of construction goes on, as well as inland throughout the Egg Harbor Township. Contractors need the units, but don’t want to pay for them and don’t require their workers to respect them. We’ve had a hard time building respect, but we’re getting there.”

Educating Customers — We’re Getting There! And, this is where A & C are proving themselves to be legitimate industry change agents. It’s hard to state anything more concisely than Cheri does, so we just listened, “We have made progress in building respect for the units and the company, by reinforcing what we expect from the customers. We have a necessary motto: There’s no humorous aspect to “portable restrooms”. We’ve found that sharing it opens the way to helping customers understand the financial challenges for this kind of company.” Jon and Cheri have learned that the simple adjustment in communicating about the units as portable restrooms can help in making a difference in the way the users of the units on customers’ sites perceive and treat them. Cheri continues, and we eagerly digest her professional wisdom, “The trucks are hundreds of thousands of dollars. It’s no joke what we have to do to provide the service. A lot of my friends on social networks are fighting for this respect, and we deserve it. Kids want to tip the units. It’s been almost like the units have a stamp on them,” she jokes (proving that she, in fact, does keep a healthy sense of humor about herself and her business’s problems). But we’re getting it done. After a while, if you don’t require and demand respect, you’re not going to get it.” But, she points out that they have removed units in some cases, after numbers of conversations without results. Cheri says that most, if not all of the contractors A & C works with now do understand the kind of relationship of mutual respect that the company needs to be able to maintain with customers in order to sustain its success in the market. One contractor even fired an employee for repeatedly defying instructions on the job site not to vandalize the portable toilets. “It’s been encouraging to see that we have more and more people backing us,” Cheri noted. And, A & C provides its customers with the highest standards of service, “You’ll never see a unit of ours in disrepair. If they don’t meet our high standards for a job site, they’re brought back and replaced.” So, this is how it’s done by portable restroom business owners in New Jersey who know how to change the game for service providers in the portable restroom industry in their area. We’re more than a little in awe.

Where To Go From Here We really have little interest in adding services at this point. Our future goals are currently focused on expanding in the area of expanding in luxury toilets. We do offer grease trap cleaning, clearing lines, being so small, trying to keep up with we have. We hope to hire one or two employees over next year, and get a new and larger truck. We did get a new toilet truck at the start of the year. However, we won’t take a big leap until we see a high demand, and that, for us, has been in the portable restroom business. That service has been in very high demand in our area, so it’s the natural direction for us to grow.

Advice for Fellow Businesses in the Industry “Be fair to yourself — Get Paid!” Cheri adds the sage words we’ve heard from other seasoned business owners in the industry, “I’d suggest to people to maintain their own personal value. Time is precious to all of us. When you’re an entrepreneur and putting your life on hold to build your business, don’t devalue yourself. Set a rate that you can grow with. And, she jokes, “The customer is always right—but not always.” And, finally, she offers, “Customers can put some high demands on you. It’s okay to say, “No.” She says it’s one of the things she and her husband have become more confident in. “Don’t undercut yourself. If you’re willing to do anything and everything customers want, that’s one thing. But, if you’re going to do it, charge for it.” Business owners like Cheri and Jon Errico are true industry change agents. By educating customers, they’re transforming the very nature of the way their services are perceived and used in their market, and by extension, in other markets. They’re also giving users something truly fresh and new in the experience of using the portable restroom facility in the northeast. In that process, they’re affording the users a new level of expectation of what the industry can offer and, commensurately, a new level of respect for it.

https://ift.tt/2CK0KGj

from Septic Tank Pumping Pros https://septictankpumpingpros.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/transforming-your-business-and-industry-image-right-now/

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sylsabastian · 7 years ago

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Seeding the Dream

“Thing is, with our dreams, our goals, our aspirations, they are such a big deal to us, that we tend to assume it is a big deal to attain them. When really, it isn't.”

- The Young Man

The chaos began, slowly at first, as the great Gravity Engines de-powered. Arriving successfully in the new galaxy, all seemed well. Glitches appeared, not unexpected. The first major sign of impending havoc came when entire starship populations awakened prematurely. Lucky that, too lucky…

Navigation next, resulting in unauthorised fleet dispersal. When the full extent of the computer collapse became known, the inevitable was obvious. Before communication shut down permanently, that last order went out: “Find the nearest habitable planet!” Controlled crash landings the only option with all systems failing. The living would be safe, along with most of the necessary cargo and some of the technology, but the mighty starships themselves, these would be beyond salvage.

The chaos wasn’t random. New galaxy, new beginnings. Humanity had been evolved in isolation. Now they had finally managed to enter into space in which other comparable species lived. But, humanity, as it was, was not enough. They would be a key element in the Great Project of the Gods.

Back on the soon to be Old Earth, the idea of humanity “moving to the stars” as a serious idea had begun with a corporation. A long-term idea begun as a motivation campaign. This corporation was a B-Corp, a Benefit Corporation. Their concept designed to encourage and stimulate not only the hard sciences, but also the social sciences. Especially those. Part of the campaign was envisioning the culture, the ideals, the psychology, philosophy and spirituality such settlers of a new galaxy might have.

This idea, this campaign, came in a time of powerful self-questioning. It took hold as the necessity for a new paradigm for society became especially pressing. One of the leading nation states had taken a “leader’ into power who represented the very worst of the old paradigm of dominance and superiority, of the falsehood of ego and vanity. A representation of a still sizeable, but shrinking, section of the population that clung desperately to refusing to change. They had never before been so obviously represented, always subtly, their agenda furthered indirectly. But this time it was blatant, raw, obvious, in full consciousness, and ugly. As always with such matters, they only thrive in the dark. Exposure killed this false dream of stasis, showing it for what it really was: Stagnation. But, it had shown the clear necessity for a replacement of the entire system.

At this time, the concept of the Noble Ideal resurfaced, but in its pure form, stripped of any superiority associations. It was this concept which fuelled the idea of humanity ‘starting over’ somewhere. Beginning again, but this time without needing to blunder their way through all the false and detrimental ideologies. The idea of what constituted the Noble Ideal, when it first surfaced, had much to support it, and thus had a good basis for extending upon. The concept, helped by the B-Corp, caught fire with the entire world. Under the guise of the project to ‘settle the stars,’ the concept was further developed and extended.

The corporation, in their efforts to stimulate the sciences, held regular contests to showcase new innovations, concepts and great ideas. They started by changing the format of contest themselves. There was to be no “winner.” This they declared, was part of the problem. A foolish system that tended to waste all the brilliance of those participants who produced real value, but who did not “win.” They instead declared that they would reward ALL excellence. They even rewarded excellent effort that in the end did not lead to an actual usable idea, or proved why something would Not work. These were just as needed as those that did. They rewarded excellence in any way it came.

They handed out grants, funding and investment seed money. This was part of their overall business, funding new technologies, new ways of doing business, new ways to run corporations. It all worked together. The new corporations they funded and invested in took over the world of business, this campaign making the original investment company the most wealthy by far.

But the company initially did not have the resources to reward all the excellent ideas financially. Instead using a use a master stroke of inspirational genius, setting up their project as a long-term realistic plan and dream. The goal was to fulfil just exactly how this dream might be accomplished. Sending humanity out into the stars was presented seriously. The efforts they would be rewarding was anything that brought this ideal one step closer.

The genius which caught the imagination of those of creativity and aspiration across the world was the primary reward: A place on the starships!! This ignited passions. Most imagined that such a selection would be determined by money, status power etc. But when it became clear that this would be the only criteria, the understanding took hold that everyone had a chance. Especially when it became known that any Efforts-of-Goodness would also be rewarded in this way. As the project developed, individuals would be nominated by others, simply by virtue of how they had lived their lives.

Being selected to be a representative of humanity, a representation of goodness, effort, ingenuity and other desirable qualities became a matter of a peculiar humble pride. Finally those efforts many deemed to be good and useful, but which were not usually rewarded in the material world, now were. The project took on a life of its own. Being rewarded with a place on the starships, being chosen, became the new standard of achievement. Especially since it affected anyone, in any sphere of life.

The corporation had from the start outlined the impossibility of the challenge. The project, according to what was known then, had no realistic chance of success. Not technologically, not even ideologically. The challenge, from the start, a challenge of conquering the unknown, of overcoming impossibility and creating the possible. To encourage this mindset they simply pointed to the abundant impossibility present in life at that time, compared to even a recent past. There was no denying the logic that the impossible could indeed be made possible. The world’s imagination was set ablaze with this dream.

The New Beginnings Project, as it became known, became an institution of the world. It did not matter that there was no end in sight, the advantages and progress of bringing the project ever closer, were decidedly real. With each yearly announcement of those awarded a place on the eventual starships, the dream came ever nearer. The advancements were real indeed. Each year the company seeded a fresh round of new companies, with fresh sciences, both hard and soft, with fresh conceptions and ideals, fresh new ways of doing business with which to benefit the world, since all these new corporations were started as benefit corporations, furthering business through benefiting the world.

Many impossibilities came into being. Like corporations where all employees loved to work, where all benefited and participated in the financial rewards. Impossibilities such as corporate cultures founded on cooperation instead of competition came into being. Many technological wonders previously thought impossible became reality. But the grand impossibility, that of conquering the seemingly immutable laws of science, particularly relativity, these remained elusive. Many alternative ideas were proposed and explored. After all, writers and dreamers had long been busy imagining and propagating such ideas.

But then, only a few decades after the origin of this dream idea, of the original Noble Ideal and conception that started it all, the truly impossible DID happen. A way to traverse the enormity of space was found! A means to travel realistically to other galaxies was discovered. It still involved substantial time, but not insurmountable by any means.

Thus The New Beginnings Project started a new phase: the actual construction of the starships. No small project. By this time, fortunately, the original corporation was wealthier than even the wealthiest governments, and had become a de-facto world government. Because of their radically different way of doing business, and the proof they constantly delivered of truly being different and of having the people’s interest at heart, they became far more trusted. Many smaller governments adopted their organizational styles and ideologies. And when they discovered these to be substantially beneficial, they lent their full support to the corporation, preventing some of the legacy governments and institutions from dismantling this new power in the world.

Which all worked out well by the time the actual construction of the starships began. The legacy governments had to adapt and ‘get with the program’ by popular demand. No country wanted to be left out. Because by that time, the number who had been rewarded with a seat on the starships numbered in the millions. The corporation decided to build a fleet of a thousand ships. Each ship accommodating a few thousand ‘Seeders.’ A nice round number of ships, even it proved to be an ill prophetic choice.

Thus the project began in earnest, governments now Donating to the project. Overwhelmingly prohibited from participating by their constituents. The public had come to realise, that if The Dream was to be truly fulfilled, then it had to be accomplished by those Seeders who represented the Noble Ideal, no matter in which of its various multitudinous forms. Those on board would not necessarily represent the “best’ of humanity in the conventional idea, as for instance, the “smartest” or the “most successful,” or best looking, or other such flawed criteria. No, instead they represented a vast cross-section. Many simply souls who were just solid Good people.

Good Character was consistently rewarded, from the start. Not luck of birth or circumstance. If such luck was involved, it was how it was utilised and made the most of. Those talented individuals, who produced actual real value, but did not represent good character, they somehow never seemed to be rewarded with selection. This from the very start was known. Faking good character, also not a solution. All winners of a spot on the starships had to be approved by their peers, anonymously. As a result, the entire lives of individuals came under scrutiny as never before. Real change, as in overcoming one’s foolishness, was recognised and rewarded. Part of the contest involved finding ways in which to select the winners, ways to identify and reward those that truly did represent the ideal, and who would thus Seed the future of humanity. Fantastic new methods for identifying genuineness developed. The corporation benefiting massively in its hiring practices.

No age limit, one of the rules that greatly contributed to the popularity of the program. As long as someone was in general good health, they were free to participate. They simply needed to be able to survive the trip and a reasonable expectation of even only a few years on the other end. Each ship would be a community. As such, the full range of contributing individuals was necessary. Not even hereditary diseases were excluded. The concept originator had said that these would simply be another of the seeming impossibilities that would be overcome in time.

The original corporation held the secret of the engines. The breakthrough had fortunately occurred within their corporate fold. The individuals responsible understanding fully the magnitude of their remarkably fortuitous discovery. It had indeed been the consequence of the most incredible string of utter impossibilities coming together. They had kept their discovery completely private. Taking it directly to the originator of the entire concept. From there a plan was devised to develop, produce, and test the engines, but is segmented parts. None of them obvious as to the intent, or possibly leading to a guess as to their purpose. Only a few knew the real goal.

By the time the secret was revealed as a demonstrable actuality, the secret itself, and its originators, would be aboard a factory starship sent to the edge of the solar system out of any possible reach of anyone. There they would manufacture engines as needed. Harvesting raw materials from the now easily accessible asteroid belt, or anywhere the necessary materials were found. Inter-solar travel now taking place near instantaneously. This original starship served as a test prototype for the community ships. The developers of the new engines would take all their family with them, indeed anyone whom they held dear, so as not to be subject to coercion. The factory starship became a massive ship, built mostly in orbit, as large as a small town. Necessary as it would be home for a number of years to those on board. A huge spinning doughnut design, to simulate gravity.

Although the new engines were gravity engines, using them meant affecting time as well as gravity. Sustained use would bring them out of sync with earth. This was the secret to intergalactic travel. Manipulating time via manipulating gravity.

Enthusiasm for the project eclipsed all else when the mighty starships began to be assembled. Their orbit trails of reflected sunlight making for a pretty daily reminder of the realness of the project. Not to mention the round the clock media coverage. So much involved, a shortage of new material never an issue. The inhabitants of earth spellbound by this magic, unfolding as a real and true manifestation of the long believed impossible. Especially since it was unfolding within the lifetimes of most who had been utterly convinced no such thing Could ever be possible.

The Seeders too morphed in the minds of the public. They came to be known as the Noble Superheroes. A name the Seeders, as they insisted on referring to themselves, found uncomfortable. However, this name allowed for an appropriate perspective on the core ideological drivers of the project, those originators of the original concept, those who comprised the core of the founding corporation: The New Nobility Corporation. Not all Seeders were focused exclusively on the ideological aspect of The Dream. Those that did however, became the nucleus, and came to be known as: The New Nobles.

As the starships neared completion, the public by then thoroughly understood the mammoth undertaking involved. The uncertainty, the challenges, the risks, the enormity of the challenges the Noble Superheroes would face in settling unknown planets, even if they were deemed habitable.

Adding to these physical challenges, the ever-present ideological goal, always maintained front and centre. Merely settling a new world was not nearly enough. The goal was to settle them physically AND to start humanity off with a new cultural foundation which would avoid the endless wars, pointless struggle and needless suffering. Especially the goal was to end the dominance and superiority paradigm.

When their descendants eventually met other species, humanity hoped they would be proud of its representatives. Those Seeders would exemplify the formerly believed impossible made possible, just as the entire project did. The descendants of the Seeders would be a massive evolutionary leap when it came to Being, the root concept of the New Nobility ideology that drove the impetus for the project. Earth’s people had become inspired by the idea being represented out in space by better versions of themselves. They might see this as an unrealistic Aspiration for themselves, but they certainly came to believe it possible for their descendants, via the Seeders.

Thus the people of earth, by the time the ships actually launched, had indeed come to see those onboard the great starships, especially those entirely focused on the ideological aspects of the mission, as Noble Superheroes.

Little did humanity know that their new liberation, into the impossible now made possible, would be even more impossible than they believed. This new conviction, based on the undeniable evidence the project produced, even from the start, had led to a shift of belief when it comes to alien species. Their existence soon came to be seen as probable and inevitable. Part of the Dream Project, a vital and important part, was selecting a destination galaxy. New and heretofore impossible methods of not only detecting habitable planets, but ones likely to already be inhabited, were discovered and developed.

But the time the project completed, and the ‘Fabulous Fleet’ departed forever, life elsewhere in the Universe had been confirmed. Just exactly what kind of life, still unknown. The target galaxy finally selected, based on two criteria; maximum number of habitable, but uninhabited planets, as well as maximum number of planets that showed some signs of habitation. There were not too many of these planets, and none showed evidence of overly advanced technology. This galaxy then Ideal.

Humanity would be on a par with any species they might encounter. Except for that one glaring exception: The great Gravity Engines. The game changers of everything. Inter-solar space travel was one thing, but the realities of that type of space-travel made travel to systems even one light year away, a practical impossibility. This meant that species evolving as far as space travel, still remained effectively isolated. Preventing contamination if their ideological, social, cultural, and spiritual evolution had not kept pace.

But, all this incredibleness, all the impossibility made manifest, even with the focus on the ideological, blinded humanity to one possibility. The overwhelming incredibility of the physical technological impossibilities made real, dominated humanity’s perspective. Beliefs rooted in superstition fell away, and all but disappeared, except as mythology. The one impossibility humanity made no place for being possible, was the impossibility of the old gods actually being real, not even in a realistic version.

As things turned out, this blindness was just as well. It would be many centuries before humanity would once again become acquainted with these gods. The first encounters had ended disastrously, since these gods were nothing but humans who had prematurely realised their potential potential. At least some of it. What humanity has come to know as gods, were simply humans who had become aware that physical limitations were a matter of perception and belief.

However, as these unshackled humans, or ‘gods,’ came to realise, with powers and practical immortality, wisdom did not automatically come. This was a long and painful lesson. Extremely so. Immortality makes for a poor motivator when it comes to learning. Entrenched habits for a god were no less difficult to overcome. In fact, they became a major obstacle, as the longer times spans involved served to entrench them even more.

The peculiarities of the Universe, which bound the very existence of these ‘gods’ to that of their origin species, forced these gods to actually become Gods. At least as close as practicality would allow. Their fate tied to the evolution of their origin species. Their mandate became supervising the evolution of the species. But as they repeatedly soon discovered, this supervision a severely restricted activity. Interference was extremely risky. Unintended consequences their perpetual bane. The Gods had power, but their sensibility, wisdom and understanding, were still very much within the sphere of their origin species. They possessed no more ability to foresee the future than anyone else did. In fact, because they had been so hampered by those entrenched bad habits of being, and the inordinate time and effort needed to overcome those, these gods, at the time of this great inter-stellar event, a first for them also, were little wiser than humanity as a whole. Or any other species for that matter. They regularly learned from humanity, and other species, when it came to wisdom and Awareness.

This then was The Great Project of the Gods: To foster the Development and Enhancement of Awareness. They had come to see that all the evil, all the havoc they themselves had caused, and which had perpetuated as a result of them, all of it had been caused by Lack of Awareness. They had also come to realise, that all they could do, was align themselves with the Universe. As this purpose of Developing and Enhancing Awareness, they came to see as the Universe’s Intent. Their only option to Attune to this goal and facilitate it as best they could. They knew full well the disaster that resulted when they did not. They had inadvertently disrupted humanity’s path with their foolishness, arrogance and self-importance. Humility coming slowly, but it had come, placing them in the peculiar position of overseeing what they themselves needed, learning along with those they watched over. Their own existence, a premature accident, most believed, or perhaps an experiment. They did not know.

Now however, matters had taken a serious turn because of that incredible anomaly: The great Gravity Engines. The incredible, once in an eternity chance, that led to their discovery severely affected matters. Their thorough ineptitude as gods had unleashed a cascade of events which had now led to the unleashing of humanity into the wider universe. Yes, initially it was to another galaxy only, but, in universal terms, a mere blink before they could spread anywhere.

The Gods already knew humanity was not alone. Many other species had evolved to similar stages of development. None, for various reasons, had evolved ideologically past where the humans had been at the start of The Dream Project. In universal terms, this project, and the accompanying ideology, was also an anomaly. A potential game changer no less profound, than the Gravity Engines. But, there was a problem.

The Gods considered the consequences of humanity’s new expansion into the greater universe. Would the new ideological goals hold? Would they develop as the project originators hoped? Or would humanity’s old habits reassert under the pressures of starting afresh. Would the same distortion of that grand corrupter: Superiority, again establish itself because of scarcity, just as it had everywhere else the Gods knew of? They knew the horrors resulting from the dominance psychology they had helped foster. Other species had to greater or lesser extents, mostly lesser, also suffered from this bane. There were some that had not. But, was it fair to all those other species, and there were a good number of them in humanity’s destination galaxy, was it fair to risk their survival and progress to an untried new humanity? The old humanity certainly could not be allowed this possibility for dominance which the Gravity Engines presented.

What if humanity did not evolve as planned, as hoped? What then? What if they reverted? It would be a long while before they would be able to return to Earth. Even if Earth itself evolved in this new direction, it would not matter, as the secret of the Gravity Engines had left with this new grand experiment. There would be no second wave. The chances of that incredible, even to the Gods, accident of discovery happening again, were beyond astronomically slim.

The stakes were just too high for the Gods to risk the future of an entire galaxy, and potentially the universe, on a maybe. Maybe humanity would evolve into the potential they could be. Maybe The Gods Themselves would evolve sufficiently to be able to deal with what might come. Maybe. The unknowns were simply too many. But, as great as the risks were, so to the potential opportunities, even more so. The possibilities of the Noble Ideal, as a culture, were profound. The Gods had to give this Dream a chance to develop. But safely.

They devised a plan, one that required the most minimum of interference, merely the tweaking of some code. Some computer, some genetic. Any potential dominance would be taken care of, at least initially, by dispersing the starships. Forcing each one to a different planet. This would not only set them back technologically, as the starships themselves would not survive, but force a statistically better test for the nascent ideology. It was no good if it did succeed simply because of luck or momentum. It had to be shown to be valid internally. If the Noble Ideal could survive and thrive, and come to be influential independently, on many different worlds, then the Gods could feel reasonably certain they had not needlessly risked a galaxy.

By the time the humans regained their technology and sufficient numbers, industry, and wealth, to once again set forth into space, the other species would have had a chance to either catch up, or surpass them in the galaxy. The galaxy where the knowledge of the Great Engines would be if the Noble Ideal prevailed, it would not matter if humanity were behind, the Great Engines would soon nullify any advantages. And critically, this vital technology would then be the means to spread the Noble Ideal, as humanity would control interspecies interaction. They would become the ideological bottleneck.

The Gods could destroy this knowledge. But that not only incurred the monumental risk of going against the Universe, and they had suffered mightily in the past from doing just that, but they risked the fantastic potential evolutionary benefits, for all species. The Gods calculated those worlds where the Noble Ideal took prominence, would have a substantial edge in development, since one of the core concepts of the Noble Ideal, was Collaboration. True collaboration, not merely cooperation, where the results of the collaboraing group far exceed the results from simple cooperation. Such cooperation could be attained via coercion. True collaboration unleashed a magic that led to exponential increases in results and benefits.

The Gods not only had high hopes for The Noble Ideal, but high expectations. Despite their caution, they fully expected this sensible purpose to thrive. An ideal they themselves had come to adopt. So much so, they decided to make a change which would, in effect, be a bet that the Noble Ideal would succeed.

The God-Gene, as they called it, had always been a part of humanity’s DNA. However, after the Gods had made such a mess of things, and belief in gods waned, the gene had fallen dormant. Being a “god” had always been available to any human, since really they were just humans with benefits. And indeed that’s what had happened, just any human had become a god when it first happened. They could see how, from the Universe’s Perspective, a few millennia or aeons here and there didn’t matter. The Universe, like nature, would get where it needed to in the end. But for the gods, they would have to endure the needless suffering in the meantime. If they could reduce this, they would. They had caused enough already.

Besides, they would assist with the collective intent of humanity. Never before in the history of Earth had the vast majority of humanity been so singularly focused on a goal and an ideal, not to mention an Intent. Above all, humanity wanted their descendants in the stars to Evolve. The Gods did, after all, still have a mandate to serve humanity. The natural evolution of mankind was to evolve into Gods. But real Gods. Gods that had wisdom, ethics, sensibility and an Overview Perspective. Gods who were in Attunement with the Universe, for even Gods were part of the Universe becoming conscious of itself. And real Gods, especially, would follow the Noble Ideal.

The Gods decided to reactivate the God-Gene. Humanity-in-the-Stars would now be Gods-in-Training. In particular, the God-Gene would respond to the Noble Ideal. Even indirectly. An individual would not have to be on the forefront of pushing the Noble Ideal, just in alignment with it in some way. This alone would move humanity that tiny bit closer to activation. The effects would be imperceptible of course. Centuries would be needed before any noticeable effects would show, even then, it would only manifest as an ability to implement the Noble Ideal. From there, humanity would have to make the jump in belief themselves.

The Gods found it amusing, and faintly ironic, that the name Old Earth’s population had bestowed on the Seeders, would now in a sense be true. Such was the way of things they knew. Humanity-in-the-Stars would now indeed be Noble Superheroes. If they succeeded that is.

The following is the story of your children, our children, out there among the stars, those versions of ourselves we hope they will be, training to be gods, as we all are.

We are still in it of course, back here on Old Earth. Still in the training. We can't give up. This manuscript has somehow come back to us, from the future, to give us ideas...

***

www.Syldinada.blogspot.com

https://www.facebook.com/syl.dinada (For Comments)

#Dream Project #cultural evolution #God-Gene #Gods #Gravity Engines #Humanity #New Nobility #New Nobles #Noble Ideal #Noble Superheroes #Seeders #Space Colonisation #Stars #sci-fi

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perfectbouquetsweets-blog · 7 years ago

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Poker Rooms In India

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