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honeyedhoseok · 4 years ago

Text

Blue | 01

genre | jeon jungkook x reader; lifeguard!JK but this isn't really a lifeguard fic; soulmate!au if you squint; smut; angst

word count | 9.9K

summary | that summer with jungkook was blue--a shade that carries with it a tinge of melancholia that you should have accepted from the beginning.

or,

to say that you fell in love with a color was an overstatement, but to say that you fell in love with him was an understatement.

a/n | i've been writing this to avoid my responsibilities. hope you enjoy! <3

series masterlist

It rained the first day Jungkook worked at the pool.

You’d heard the news of a few new lifeguards starting that day, but you’d been too busy serving ice cream at the snack bar to really get anything other than a quick glance at the lifeguard stand before you were locking eyes with the next greedy customer in line.

It was the beginning of summer, with the air sitting hot, dry and heavy on the normal patrons of the pool: older moms who sunbathed and gossiped with their friends while their kids splashed in the shallow end and gave the lifeguards something to do. Teenagers too cool to actually get in the pool littered the sides, only dipping their feet in while using expensive Ray Ban frames like a headband to hold their hair out of their eyes while they talked with their friends.

The forecast had mentioned some scattered storms, but normally that just meant getting everyone to come inside for a few minutes until it passed. The storm that day, however, had plans of sticking around a little bit longer.

You were passing a cup of strawberry shortcake soft serve out the window when the first clap of thunder sounded, followed by a lightning storm that sent the lifeguards in a tizzy. Multiple whistles blew at the sudden appearance of a storm, and the atmosphere was a rush of splashing and commotion as people made their way out of the water and to their belongings scattered in chairs on the sides.

“Well, that came out of nowhere,” your coworker, Jihyo says, sidling up beside you to look at the clouds looming over what was supposed to be a normal day at the pool. “Wonder if we’ll get to go home early?”

“I hope not,” you reply. “I need these hours, damn it. The Blooming Festival is in a few weeks, and I plan on taking off at least three days to soak it all in.”

Jihyo rolls her eyes. “Yeah, you’ve only mentioned it, maybe, every day I’ve worked with you so far?”

Serving ice cream at the pool was just a summer job. You were working there to make some money so you could do things with your friends, put gas in your car, and occasionally splurge on a new outfit or pair of shoes. It was supposed to be as normal as every other summer you’d worked there in between college semesters—until he showed up.

In fifteen minutes, the pool was shut down completely; all of the patrons were packed up and back in their cars after an announcement from your manager that the storm was forecasted to not let up for at least another hour and a half.

“Oh, we’re definitely going home,” Jihyo says, shutting the serving window and twisting the lock. “When’s the last time Seokjin shut down the pool indefinitely?”

You purse your lips, leaning back against the counter behind you and looking out at the pouring rain behind Jihyo. The wind was starting to pick up now, leaves and debris filling the once-clean surface of the cerulean water of the pool.

You start to make a bitter remark but the sound of heavy, slapping footsteps cuts you off, followed by a loud pounding at the back door. Jihyo looks toward the source of the noise with furrowed eyebrows, tilting her chin up stubbornly.

“More twelve-year-olds coming to demand that we restock Moose Tracks?”

“Hey, Moose Tracks is a classic!” you call at her back as she goes to unlock the door. “It’s not their fault you keep picking unpopular flavors to order each week—like Mint Chocolate Chip!”

The back door opens, and the shop is suddenly flooded with voices following Jihyo back into the small space.

“MCC is the goddamn classic, Y/N,” Jihyo says, stomping back into the conversation like she never left off. “Don’t ever bash it again, or I’ll stop ordering Sea Salt Caramel for your uncultured ass!”

You want to laugh, but you’re too distracted by the hoard of boys—lifeguards—trailing behind her. Yoongi and the two new guys crowd your space suddenly, and you find yourself backing up into one of the corners and trying not to look as embarrassed as you felt for just arguing with Jihyo over ice cream flavors, of all things.

The boys are soaking wet, puddles collecting at their feet on the tiled inside of the kitchen, but they seem unphased by it as they huddle in. Thankfully, one of them comes to your rescue.

“I’m with her,” he says, giving you a nod. His smile fills up his whole face as he talks, making his eyes turn into little crescent half-moons. “Sea Salt Caramel is where it’s at.”

The other lifeguard doesn’t say anything, gaze focused over your heads outside where the wind is knocking sunbathing chairs over. You realize then how tall he is—possibly half a foot or more than you—and the thought that if you were close enough, your nose wouldn’t even brush the dip of his clavicle, has your cheeks burning.

He and the half-moon lifeguard have similar builds: long, lean body statures, almond-shaped eyes, the same dark hair that falls in wet strands in their eyes. You wonder if they’re related. Maybe the taller one is the older brother, you think.

“The great ice cream debate,” Yoongi murmurs suddenly, sounding bored. “How about we have some and solve this problem once and for all?”

As he reaches for one of the serving spoons, Jihyo’s arm flies out, smacking it out of his hands. It falls with a clatter onto the counter, and he looks at her with an animated expression of surprise and disgust.

“Uh-uh,” she says, wagging a finger at him. “It’s like Seokjin’s only rule for us.”

“Seokjin can kiss my—“

As if on cue, the back door swings open and Yoongi shuts his mouth as Seokjin comes in, looking incredibly dry due to the floor-length plastic covering hanging from his umbrella.

Leave it to Seokjin to own something as extra as that, you think.

“Get comfy,” he says as he steps out of the plastic, shaking water off the top that splashes onto your scuffed, white Keds.

You gaze down, realizing only then that none of the lifeguards are wearing shoes. Yoongi’s pinky toe is edging dangerously close to a melted puddle of chocolate ice cream you forgot to clean up, but you don’t have the guts to tell him in front of your manager, so you shoo the thought away and focus on the grim look on Seokjin’s face. He’s chewing gum and looks slightly annoyed at the thought of all five of you huddled inside instead of doing work.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” he says, “but I need you guys to stay here until the storm calms down. It should pass in an hour or two.”

Jihyo frowns. “And if it doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll send you home.”

She grins triumphantly.

“And I’ll need you to come in early tomorrow to clean up that mess out there,” Seokjin adds, giving her a sickly-sweet smile. He blows a bubble with his pink chewing gum for emphasis, the pop resonating in the small space.

Yoongi frowns and Jihyo’s mouth drops open. The new lifeguards seem as surprised as the other two, and they eye Seokjin curiously, probably trying to figure out what kind of manager he is. Even after all this time working for him, you don’t really know the answer to that question, either.

“Any more questions?” he asks, tone leaning somewhat on annoyance. But then again, that’s how Seokjin always sounded.

Jihyo shakes her head and Yoongi gives him a deepened frown in answer.

“Good. You,” he says, looking pointedly at Yoongi and mimicking his annoyed expression. “See to it that Hoseok and Jungkook get acquainted with the rules.” He steps inside his clear cocoon of an umbrella, reaching down to zip it up above his head. “And I’ll let you know when it’s safe to go outside and clean up.”

Jungkook, you think. You know immediately that it’s his name because it just fits him. You feel yourself rolling the unspoken syllables around the inside of your mouth, wondering when you’ll get the first chance to say them aloud.

Yoongi salutes half-assedly, and Jihyo elbows him in the side after Seokjin turns around and makes his exit. After the back door is shut, the five of you visibly deflate, and Yoongi sucks his teeth.

“That guy,” he mutters. “One of these days—”

“I wish you’d learn your lesson and stop messing with him,” Jihyo says, interrupting whatever nasty comment was about to spill from his mouth. “It’s probably because of you that Seokjin wants us to stay, instead of going home in this god-awful weather.”

“Why doesn’t he like Yoongi?” Hoseok asks, eyes flickering to the chestnut-haired, simmering boy to his left.

“His most recent offense?” Jihyo ponders, crossing her arms over her chest as she thinks. “Not showing up for his shift—threedays in a row.”

“I was sick,” Yoongi says dryly, narrowing his eyes at her. “What did you want me to do? Not stay in bed and get better?”

“Oh, your bed must suddenly have relocated to the pool hall at five in the afternoon, huh?” she says, tilting her head to the side in mocking. “Snapchat locations don’t lie, Yoongi. If you’re going to play hooky, do it better.”

Hoseok chuckles. “Damn, man.”

Yoongi, never one to back down from an argument, flicks his brown fringe out of his eyes. “Why don’t you teach me then, Little Miss Stomachache?”

“I had cramps!” Jihyo says indignantly.

“You’ll learn that being around these two is like being around an old married couple,” you murmur to Jungkook and Hoseok as Yoongi and Jihyo’s voices rise louder and louder in contest. “They get along like cats and dogs.”

Jungkook grins at your comment, and you think your heart stops a little in your chest before starting an accelerated rhythm that has you feeling light. His lips pull back prettily over his teeth, his cheeks balling a little from the force of it.

“I’m thinking cats and dogs might actually be more civil than this, to be honest,” Hoseok says, gesturing to an annoyed Yoongi threatening to rub his clammy, wet feet on Jihyo’s bare, shorts-clad legs.

In the time that you had worked there, there were very few civil moments between Jihyo and Yoongi. You think that maybe they were civil when Yoongi first started, and you remember faintly a comment made by Jihyo that Yoongi was “cute” and maybe that they exchanged numbers at some point—but then rumors went around that Yoongi said Jihyo was too loud and controlling, and Jihyo said he was a selfish bastard, and you think they’ve been sworn enemies ever since.

“You’re probably right,” you say finally, giggling at Hoseok’s comment. You stop abruptly when you see Jungkook’s eyes fall to your mouth at the sight of it splitting open with a grin. They linger there for a moment before he speaks for the first time since entering you and Jihyo’s space.

“What did you say your name was, again?” he asks.

His voice is soft and low, almost a lilted hum, and it catches you off guard in comparison to his very boyish, young features. You expected it to be higher, to sound almost preteen-like, but it’s nothing of the sort—it immediately has you questioning how old he is in comparison to Hoseok.

“Y/N,” you say. “Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself, I guess.”

Jungkook smiles again, and this time it feels like one especially conjured up for you.

“Y/N,” he repeats, the sound of his tongue rolling over the syllables sends a little zap to your insides. “You um, have a little something there, on your shirt.”

He takes one hand out of his blue swim trunks and points to your breastbone, where a dark splotch of chocolate ice cream sits over your sternum.

“Aw, fuck!” you murmur, facing burning as you spin around on your heel, grabbing the nearest hand towel and dabbing at your shirt. “These kids—”

“It wouldn’t stain like that if it was Mint Chocolate Chip,” Jihyo sneers suddenly, cutting whatever Yoongi was about to say to her off. She grins triumphantly at the stain, returning to your argument from earlier. “Would it?”

You flip her the bird, still dabbing at the fabric—but you can’t help but revel a little in the cute smile Jungkook gives you as he watches you fuss over yourself, digging around the kitchen space for anything to save you from the ice cream on your shirt.

After that fated day, your mind lingered on Jungkook incessantly. At the pool, you glanced at him more often than not from the serving window of the ice cream stand, committing him to memory. You found yourself reminiscing over the upended triangular shape of his upper body, the lithe muscle covering his shoulder blades, the image of a whistle poised between his rosy lips, his teeth pressed tightly against the metal, his body wet and glistening as he rose out of the pool—

“You’re literally drooling, Y/N,” Jihyo says, breaking you out of your reverie by snapping her fingers in front of your face. “Why don’t you just, I don’t know, go talk to him?”

“I will,” you say indignantly. “I told you—I’m waiting.”

“It’s been three weeks.”

“Yeah, I know,” you say, nodding. “Still waiting.”

“Jesus,” Jihyo sighs. “I didn’t want to do this, but you know he’s only here for the summer, right?”

You freeze in the middle of cleaning the counter. “He’s what?”

“You heard me—you have less than three months, Y/N,” Jihyo says firmly. “I know rushing isn’t your style but, uh, you might not have a choice this time.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me!”

You hate how your voice sounds pitiful and whiny, but your heart is literally sinking at this news—three months? Less than three months? Where was he going? What would you do with your time when he wasn’t there to look out the window at? It dawns on you suddenly that you won’t be there in three months, either. School started back at the end of August—your sophomore year.

“Why didn’t you let me know you were interested in him?” Jihyo crosses her arms over her chest. “I’ve been watching you fawn over him for all this time, just waiting and hoping you’d confide in me, but no.”

“What was I supposed to say?” you retort glumly. “That I like the lifeguard that seems the least interested in my existence? Yeah, no, I’ll save myself from that sadness train going nowhere, thank you very much.”

“Maybe I can help you,” Jihyo says with confidence, turning to the window. “Hey, Jungkook!”

You freeze. “What? What are you doing?”

Jungkook looks your way, raising an eyebrow above his black Ray Bans. Jihyo leans out of the serving window, beckoning him over with a wave of her hand.

She turns to you. “Look how easy this is going to be.”

You swallow to combat the sudden tightness in your throat, watching with bated breath as Jungkook climbs down the lifeguard ladder and walks to you two, his feet slapping a little on the wet cement surrounding the pool.

“What’s up?” he says, pushing his sunglasses back on his head and unknowingly releasing the full intensity of his doe-like eyes.

You inhale a small gasp that Jihyo obviously hears, because she lightly presses her Ked-clad foot on top of yours below the counter.

“Me, you, Y/N, Hoseok,” Jihyo says with a confidence you could never muster. “Dinner and a movie on the boardwalk this weekend?”

Jungkook’s eyes pass from hers to yours for a split second, and your pulse picks up speed in your veins. If he seems surprised from the random invitation, however, he doesn’t let it show on the easy-going expression that he wears.

“Sure,” he says. “Can you remind me when it gets a little closer? I’ll have to make sure my parents don’t have anything planned.”

Jihyo flips her hair over her shoulder, casually producing her phone from what feels like thin air. You blink down at her hand, realizing this was her plan all along.

“Put your number in,” she says. “I’ll make us a group chat. We should probably have one anyways, since we work together. You know?”

Jungkook nods and puts his number in before handing it back to her. A commotion happens in the water behind him, and he glances over his shoulder with concern. “I should probably head back,” he says. He gives you both a small smile before he flips his sunglasses down over his eyes again, hitting a slight jog back to the lifeguard stand.

When he’s out of earshot, Jihyo texts rapidly on her phone. When she’s done yours vibrates three times in your pocket: the start of the group chat, you’re sure.

“And that, my friend,” she says, giving you a grin that could rival the Grinch when he decided to steal Christmas, “is how you get the ball rolling!”

Unfortunately, Jihyo’s plans—which she has annoyingly coined as Operation: Get Y/N Laid—don’t stop there.

On Thursday, just two days before the plans, she convinces Hoseok to come with her to something before the meet up that’s going to coincidentally make them late so that you and Jungkook have time to be alone.

When she tells you this, it’s as she’s making a double scoop chocolate cone, but you can’t help the overwhelming urge that comes over you to put your hands around her neck.

“Ack! Y/N! Let go!” she says between breaths with wide eyes. “I’m going to drop the ice—”

“You’re so dumb!” you yell, squeezing a little harder. “That’s such an obvious ploy to get us alone, he’s going to realize it!”

Jihyo finally squirms out of your grip by turning her head and licking your arm. The warmth of her tongue makes you recoil, and she gasps with relief as air floods back into her lungs, looking at the now-lopsided cone in her left hand.

“Now how am I supposed to give this to that little brat outside?” she says, frowning. “His mom will come and eat me alive if I hand this slop out of the window.”

“You probably deserve it,” you say sourly. You lean your hip into one of the counters, crossing your arms over your chest. “Take your plans back, Jihyo.”

“I can’t,” she says calmly. “Hoseok is already in on it.”

“He’s what?!”

“He’s in on Operation: Get Y/N Laid,” she says again, with that same ridiculous manner of calm, like you didn’t just make her life flash before her eyes thirty seconds ago. “Stop freaking out—he wants to give you some time alone just like I do. So, he’s not going to say anything to Jungkook. The plan will go on like normal, you will just have to do a little acting when we don’t show up on time. Got it?”

In all honesty, it’s not the worse plan she has ever come up with. But you don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing so, so you keep your current frown plastered on your mouth for a little longer to let her know your displeasure with the sudden turn of events.

“Oh, don’t you go all pouty on me,” Jihyo says, wagging a finger at you as she trashes the cone you messed up and grabs another. She scoops more ice cream out of the container below her, giving you a look that reminds you of a mother watching her children open Christmas presents after telling them they weren’t getting anything for months. “You’ll thank me later—right after you tell me if Jungkook has anything worthy of talking about.”

“I’m sure he does,” you respond indignantly, falling right into her trap. “He’s intelligent.”

Jihyo hums a nod before brandishing the new cone, two scoops of chocolate perfectly centered and balanced on top of each other. “Before long this will be you two—are you a top or a bottom, though? I forgot.”

You groan in anguish as Jihyo lets out a cackle, opening the window to your stand and handing it out the impatient little boy that waits outside. You’re grateful for the breeze, although its simmering warmth does nothing for the same feeling that has settled high on your cheeks, dusting pigment there reminiscent of a similar shade of red Jungkook sometimes sports on his swim trunks.

The day of the boardwalk date, you find yourself sprawled out on the floor in front of your closet in your underwear and bra, contemplating why you ever purchased every single item of clothing in your closet.

These kinds of freak outs are normally reserved for the pressing dates in life—first day of college, nights out with the girls, birthdays—but today, you find yourself freaking out over the instance of having to wear the perfect outfit in order to feel comfortable around Jungkook.

Comfortable, and most importantly, pretty.

You shuffle through your two final picks, laying them across your bed in order to get the full effect of what they might look like on. They were both incredibly simple—your college wardrobe either consisted of exercise shorts and t-shirts and hoodies or going out clothes that were much too revealing for a fun night on the boardwalk. But you fret over them some more, so much that you almost have a nervous breakdown and text Jihyo to call the whole thing off.

But the slight hum of your phone vibrating your bed stops you before you can do so. It’s from Jungkook, and you heart beats a little off kilter at the sight of his name popping up on your phone screen.

Jungkook 5:15PM : We still meeting at 6?

It’s directed to your group chat with him, Jihyo and Hoseok. You take a deep breath. Jihyo had told you that she wasn’t going to respond to any messages until the last minute, to really sell her “emergency” that she had to bring Hoseok along on. You were driving separately, as was Jungkook, but the two of them had decided to conveniently carpool a day prior.

Y/N 5:18PM : I’ll be there! Park at Pier 14, it’s the closest one to the boardwalk

Jungkook 5:20PM : Yes ma’am 😊

You smile down at your phone, biting down on your bottom lip softly as you read the message over a few times before clicking the screen lock button. You prop your hands on your hips, deciding that it’s now or never. The nights got chilly in the summer when the sun wasn’t beating down as heavy, and you hated being cold. So, you choose the outfit on the right—a simple, oversized pullover and bike shorts, paired with some scuffed white sneakers, and rush into the bathroom to get ready so you’re not late.

You get to the pier at exactly 6:01 and search around for a parking space.

A part of you feels like this is a bad plan. Especially when you look down at your phone after cutting the engine and realize that Jihyo has texted you something that makes your stomach drop.

Jihyo 5:59PM : Haha…bad news

Jihyo 5:59PM : DON’T KILL ME

Y/N 6:02PM : Please, no!!! What is it!!

Jihyo 6:03PM : The check engine light on my car came on as I was leaving Hoseok’s. Don’t panic. We are waiting for AAA to come get us and take us back to his house so he can drive. I repeat: DON’T. PANIC.

“Okay, okay” you say to yourself, taking a few calming, deep breaths in. “At least she has a plan? This can still work out. I’m not panicking. Yet.”

Y/N 6:03PM : When are they estimated to be there?

Her messaging dots appear and disappear for a few minutes and your anxiety skyrockets.

Y/N 6:06PM : JIHYO

Jihyo 6:07PM : between 6:45-7PM…

Y/N 6:08PM : THE MOVIE STARTS AT 7:05 YOU ABSOLUTE

There’s a knock at your window that has you almost jumping out of your skin. When you look up, you’re met by the wide grin and big, childlike eyes of Jungkook. He peers at you through the tinted glass, looking a little sheepish at having scared you on accident.

All your anxiety about Jihyo having an actual emergency disappears as you unclick your seat belt and scramble out of the car to join him.

“I really didn’t mean to do that,” he says, stepping back and giving you space to swing your door open. “Is everything all right?”

“What?” you say. “Oh, yeah. Everything is fine. Well—sort of.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you. “Did something happen?”

“Jihyo is having car trouble, so her and Hoseok are going to be late.”

You bite down on your bottom lip, shifting your weight from leg to leg. The outing was supposed to be all of you as a group—and originally, them being a little late wouldn’t have been such a problem. But you were thinking thirty minutes max, not an hour and a half!

You’re relieved when Jungkook shrugs. “Oh, okay,” he says. “Well, I’m still cool with walking around until the movie starts if you are ?”

You nod with enthusiasm. “Right—we’re already here, might as well go do some stuff?”

Jungkook smiles again, and you finally take a good look at him. He’s wearing a dark t-shirt under a black zip-up hoodie and a pair of chinos—a simpler outfit that looks way too good on his tall, lean frame. You hadn’t seen him in much other than his swim trunks because the only time you two really saw each other outside of this singular moment, was at work.

Of course, you weren’t complaining about that aspect. You could probably pencil out in detail the muscles of Jungkook’s upper chest and stomach, the way water rolled off them when he got out of the pool, the way they flexed when he pulled his whistle to his mouth. That is, if your drawing skills weren’t absolute shit—so bad at that a kindergartener could probably put you to shame with snapped Crayola’s and disproportionate stick figures.

The sun has already sunk below the horizon, taking with it all the heat and warmth of the day and leaving you with a slight breeze that could give you goosebumps if you let it, and a sky the deepened color of cornflowers.

It’s twilight, you realize, as you trail beside Jungkook from the parking lot cement onto the wooden planks of the boardwalk. A backlit, blue-hued time of day that you absolutely adored during the summertime because you still had just enough light accomplish the activities you wanted to.

Not that you needed to worry about light at a time like this—the bright boardwalk stadium lights are almost blinding, and because it’s the weekend, the two of you find yourself periodically weaving in and out of the crowd that seems to get busier and pushier the further you walk.

Jungkook takes the lead, his taller frame holding more of a reason for people to move out of the way than yours. You watch the back of his head the whole time, noticing the way his raven hair reflects the light—shiny and clean and looking incredibly soft.

“How about a snow cone?” he calls over his shoulder. “It looks like there might be somewhere for us to sit up there.”

He points ahead and you call out an agreement to him, hoping to be heard over the ruckus.

You realize that the crowd isn’t going to let up anytime soon—people have no qualms about walking in between you two, and you find yourself speeding up in order to not be further separated from him.

At some point Jungkook glances behind him again and realizes your struggle. He slows his pace, and you happen to look down and realize he is holding out the long sleeve of his hoodie for you to hold on to.

“Don’t get lost,” he says with a grin. “This snow cone will be worth it, I promise!”

You return his smile, holding onto his arm with a light touch as he continues to lead through the crowd. You curse Jihyo silently in your head—despite her fake emergency turning into a real emergency, she was right about one thing: time alone with Jungkook was something you couldn’t pass up.

When you finally make it to the snow cone cart, you let go of Jungkook’s arm quickly. He looks at you with suspicion as you snatch away, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a shit-eating grin, like he knew exactly what he was doing to your racing pulse by offering you his touch.

“What flavor do you want?” he asks, looking at the menu stand on the right. “My treat.”

You both immediately point to Tiger’s Blood, and Jungkook seems pleased with you.

“Good choice,” he says. “If you picked Pina Colada, I was going to lose it.”

You giggle. “You don’t like coconut?”

“No,” he says, frowning. “I snuck some of my mom’s Malibu one time without realizing and I almost barfed.”

You laugh again, shaking your head. You realize that you still don’t how old Jungkook is, and while he orders your snow cones, you look at him with scrutiny. There was something young about his eyes and face, the roundness of the tip of his nose and cheeks making you believe he was younger than you. But his body—good grief, his body—and the sharpness of his jawline and said otherwise.

When you’re both seated at a picnic table, you decide to ask him.

“Why?” he says. “How old do you think?”

You take a timid bite of your snow cone, relishing in the satisfying crunch of ice between your teeth. “Hmm, I know you’re college-age. Just wondering how old.”

“That story I told about sneaking alcohol was from a few years ago,” he says, laughing. “I’m twenty-one.”

“Oh.”

“You’re only nineteen, right?” he says, but it doesn’t seem like he cares much that you’re younger.

You nod. “But my birthday is in September.”

“So is mine,” he replies with a grin. “We’ll have to try to celebrate together, somehow.”

You try not to let on how happy his suggestion makes you—that months from now, you two will be friends that throw parties together, or possibly more—and you settle into your seat, munching happily on the cold treat that is slowly turning from ice to mush in the paper cone in your hands.

“So why the pool?” you say a few moments later. “Did you work at another one before ours?”

Jungkook blinks. “I have my CPR certification from another part time job I had at a gym,” he said. “I don’t know why they made us get it, honestly.”

You laugh. “Maybe in case one of the meatheads lifted too much at once?”

“Maybe,” he says, grinning. “But the gym couldn’t work around my school schedule anymore. So, when I came home I saw the pool was looking for a new part-time lifeguard and I applied.��

“You only come home during the summer?”

Jungkook nods, but a look of annoyance flashes across his face before he answers. “There’s not much for me here, honestly. I like school and being on my own, away from my parents.”

“I get that.”

It was something you could both agree on. You didn’t realize freedom could taste so sweet until you moved into your dorm on campus. You could stay up when you wanted, sleep when you wanted, go out when you wanted. As long as you kept your grades up and didn’t lose your scholarship for your parent’s sake, you were literally allowed to do whatever your heart desired.

“It’s too far away to fly back and forth, anyways,” Jungkook adds, suddenly. He tilts his paper cone back, dumping all of the remaining liquid into his mouth before crumpling it in his left fist.

“How far?”

“California.”

“Oh. Why there?”

Somehow, you were taken aback to hear that he’d chosen a school so far from his home. You wonder suddenly if the sullen look he’d given your earlier had more to it than you realized.

Jungkook ignores your question—like you expected—and stands up. You scramble to finish the remains of your cone and he holds his hand out for your trash. You give it to him, feeling the slight brush of your fingers against his palm that reminds you of earlier when he’d offered his arm. He doesn’t this time, but you find yourself wishing he would again. Or that you two were close enough for you to reach out and grab it without his permission.

“That’s a story for later,” he says, giving you a look meant to soften the blow of his hard statement. “I don’t want to talk about it right now—it’ll ruin the mood.”

You nod slightly, bringing your bottom lip back between your teeth to gnaw on. You hadn’t meant to upset him.

“Is there anything you want to do?” he asks, looking around. “We have about thirty minutes before we should head back to the car for the drive-in movie.”

The boardwalk was in full swing as the night progressed, the sky now a deep shade of indigo behind him. You stand with him, leaning onto your tip toes in an effort to recognize any signs further down the wooden path.

“The arcade, maybe?” you suggest.

Jungkook fake clutches at his chest, staggering with clumsy steps to one side. “A woman after my own heart,” he says theatrically. “I might faint.”

You laugh loudly and roll your eyes to cover up your own heartbeat thumping wildly in your ears. You use the rush to match his energy: “I’m only saying it because I want you to win me a plushie.”

Jungkook smiles, his eyes full of light and mischief at getting to show off his skills. “That, madam, is a deal. Let’s go.”

Jihyo still hasn’t texted you by the time you and Jungkook exit the arcade.

You want to send a scolding text to her, but in reality, you don’t really care if they show up anymore. Jungkook seems to have forgotten they were coming—he doesn’t look at his phone once while you two flit from game to game in the arcade.

You’d watched from the side as he entered a water pistol race with a few other patrons of the boardwalk. He sat down on a stool right in the middle of everyone, leaning over the gun and closing one eye for better accuracy. His tongue poked out between his lips, his form rigid and unyielding until the announcer blew a whistle to start the race. You held back a laugh at his seriousness, pressing a hand to your mouth in case he looked over at you.

He did, but only once the flashing lights above his booth went off, signaling him as the winner. He’d hopped off the stool and raced over to you, placing a hand above your elbow before pulling you over to claim your reward from the prize table.

You chose a blue and white dolphin that was just big enough to be slightly comical. Jungkook carried it over his shoulder as you two walked back toward his car, giddy from the excitement of playing carnival games and teasing each other all the while.

“Okay, but you wouldn’t have even beaten me at basketball if yours didn’t come to my side and knock my shots off course constantly!” Jungkook insists. “You’re a sneaky little thing.”

“Why can’t you just admit my two-pointer is better than yours?”

“Y/N,” Jungkook says, shaking his head in disappointment. “I’m almost six foot and you’re what—five-one? You simply can’t be a better shot that I am because of your genetics. I’m sorry.”

Your mouth drops open. “I’m literally five-three!”

“Minus two.”

“Oh, whatever!”

Jungkook laughs loudly, throwing his head back from the force of it. You pout alongside him, but you can’t help the telling smile that creeps onto your face. You like this side of Jungkook—it was so different from the stoic and quiet lifeguard you knew him as before.

“The drive-in is just a block that way, right?” he asks once you two come up on the parking lot. He shifts the dolphin higher on his shoulder, stopping in his tracks to turn and look at you. “I can drive us in my car, if you want.”

Your eyes widen a little at his suggestion. You didn’t even think about the fact that if Jihyo and Hoseok weren’t here, it would just be you and him watching the movie together.

“Oh—um, I mean,” you stumble over your answer. “If that’s okay with you?”

“I offered, didn’t I?” he says with another laugh. He gestures to the stuffed animal perched on his shoulder. “Plus, we’ve got a nice seat cushion, here.”

You smile and nod before following him to his car. It’s a little navy SUV—something you didn’t expect him drive at all. He seemed like a “car guy” for some reason, one that would have driven something old and sturdy and loud.

“This is—cute,” you say, for lack of better wording.

Jungkook sucks his teeth. “Man, why does everyone say that?” He groans. “This thing is great on gas, okay? And look at all this trunk space! I mean, if you lived all the way in California—"

“Hey, hey,” you say, holding your hands up in defense. “I’m sorry, that was terrible wording. Did I say cute? I meant cutely efficient. You didn’t let me finish.”

Jungkook laughs again, nodding. “That’s what I thought you meant, yeah.”

He throws your dolphin in the backseat and then opens the passenger side door for you to get in. Your cheeks are hot as you move past him to settle into the seat, giving him a timid smile as he shuts the door behind you. You watch him walk around the front of the vehicle, lit up by a neighboring car’s headlights for just a fraction of a second.

He’s handsome to you while doing the most mundane of things, and your heart hurts at the thought. You couldn’t have a crush on him. He was your coworker for one, and for two, he didn’t live there. He went to school across the country, and he was only home for three incredibly short months. There would be nothing to your relationship, so you couldn’t let yourself fall into the trap of having a crush on someone so, well—unavailable. You pinch yourself hard on the thigh as a seal of reminder: this could not, would not, happen.

The slam of the car door brings you back to reality. Jungkook presses the start button on his dashboard before clicking his seatbelt across his upper body.

“You good?” he says, looking over at you with a furrowed brow. When you nod, he backs the car out of the space, his hand on the back of your headrest for good measure.

You take a few uneven breaths in and out at the action, forcing yourself to remain looking out of the front windshield and to not turn your head towards him even a fraction. You know doing so would put your faces at an incredible proximity, and you what the hell did you just pinch yourself over if you weren’t going to stick with it!

“Any word from Jihyo and Hoseok?” he asks. “It would be cool if we could still get dinner with them afterwards, at least.”

You pull your phone out of your crossbody. The screen lights up to no new unread messages, so you sent Jihyo a quick text in your private chat.

Y/N 6:58PM : Update?

It sends but doesn’t get read immediately in normal Jihyo fashion.

“Hm, maybe the tow truck is there, and she can’t talk,” you say. “I hope everything’s all right.”

“Me too,” Jungkook says. “But this is fun—with just us two.” He pauses, glancing over at you. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say quickly, giving him a smile. “I’m having a great time.”

He seems sated by this information, but you’re not sure why. “I’m glad.”

Jungkook drives you to toward the movie parking lot—a grassy field with neat rows of cars guided by a parking attendant in a bright, orange vest—and Jungkook reverses in the directed spot in the middle row of cars. You can see the screen perfectly, but only out of the back window from the way he parked. That does little to deter your excitement, though.

“The screen is huge!” you say in awe, twisting in your seat.

You look on as it plays movie trailer previews for remaining months of the summer, and the thought flits across your mind just how many you might get to see with Jungkook before your time was up.

“You’ve never been to a drive-in?” Jungkook asks. “We gotta make this one extra special, then.”

You look over at him with an eyebrow quirked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jungkook begins, unlocking the car doors, “I’m pulling out the big guns.”

He hops out and heads to the trunk of the car. You scramble after him, shutting the passenger door behind you and joining him where he stands with the trunk popped open. You watch as he lowers the second row of seats flat after moving the dolphin plushie and a conveniently-packed duvet. You look at him with raised eyebrows as he unfolds the blanket across the flattened seats, making you two a perfect spot to lay in the back of the car while watching the movie.

Jungkook sees the suspicion on your face and chuckles, scratching the back of his head. “I just thought we might want to be comfortable if we’re going to be watching a movie for two hours, you know?”

You ignore him and climb in through the open trunk, settling down with the dolphin as a cushion for your back. “Where’s the popcorn?” you ask, laughing. “This is perfect.”

Jungkook holds up a finger. “One moment, m’lady.”

He takes off from the car and you sit up on your elbows, watching him jog up to a stand at the front of the drive-in parking lot that was selling snacks and drinks for the occasion. You pinch yourself again for good measure when he comes back a few moments later, reminding yourself of your pact. Just because you two were alone, in the back of Jungkook’s car, laying down, about to watch a movie together, alone, didn’t mean anything!

The scent of butter and salt fills your nostrils as Jungkook returns, handing you the popcorn and drinks as he climbs into the trunk and settles beside you. He sits cross-legged and digs into the pockets of his chinos to reveal candy in both hands.

“Sour straws or gummi bears?” he asks.

“Gummi bears, but I want a sour straw, too.”

Jungkook laughs. “Agreed.”

As you two dig in, the beginning of the movie flickers onto the big display screen. People pass by Jungkook’s car on their way to the food stands at the front, and you and Jungkook settle against the giant dolphin propped on the back of the front seats.

“I’ll have to figure out a way to repay you for all of this,” you say quietly in between sips of fizzy Coke. “You keep paying for everything before I can offer.”

“Would you rather us go Dutch?” he asks in the dark.

He’s incredibly close to you—his forearm brushes against yours when he moves because the dolphin only spans so far when you lay it down. It wasn’t the biggest prize, because you didn’t want to carry around a massive plushie, but it certainly wasn’t the smallest they had, either.

On screen, the heroine is introduced going about her daily life. She gets ready, brushes her teeth and hair, puts on her makeup for a normal day at school. When she pulls up to school, a sleek, black motorcycle is parked in her usual spot. A little ways from it, she notices the culprit—an extremely handsome guy holding a bike helmet within the crook of his arm as a swarm of cheerleaders surround him like he’s the coolest thing since sliced bread.

“Yeah,” you say honestly. “I mean, I hate the thought of depending on other people.”

Jungkook turns to look at you as you say this, and when you glance at him, there’s an emotion plastered on his usually friendly face that you can’t pinpoint.

“Consider it our first date,” he says finally, with a shrug. “Then you don’t owe me anything and you’re not depending on me, either.”

Your heart lurches in your chest. “Oh—um—well—”

Jungkook tilts his head down as he bites into a sour straw, pulling the candy away from his clenched teeth so it makes a small pop as it separates. He nudges you with his shoulder that is already leaning against your own.

“Did you see that?” he asks with a chuckle. “The stunt doubles are so noticeable in this movie—they have totally different builds than the main characters.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and manage a breathy laugh. A date. The word echoes within the chambers of your mind, repeating over and over like he just yelled it into a cave at the top of his lungs. It reverberates around your skull until you feel your skin buzzing from the meaning.

So much for your pact when he was saying things like that so casually. God, you couldn’t wait to get Jihyo alone to tell her everything.

The movie continues, and a glance down at your phone lets you know that it’s only thirty minutes in when Jihyo finally texts you back.

Jihyo 7:36PM : Hoseok and I aren’t going to make the movie. We’ll just explore the boardwalk until you two lovebirds are done and then we can get food!

You relay the information to Jungkook—leaving out the lovebirds bit. He nods in understanding.

“I figured they wouldn’t—but I’m glad we’ll get to see them,” he answers. “Hoseok texted me a while ago and said Jihyo’s engine light was on because she slams on her brakes too much. He thinks he has whiplash.”

You giggle. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.”

“My little mom-car doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?”

“I told you I liked it! I would totally pick my kids up from soccer at 6PM on Thursday in this!”

Jungkook throws a half-popped kernel at your forehead. “Rude.”

“You said the mom thing first!”

“Because I’m allowed to pick on Cheryl—she’s mine.”

“Cheryl?!” You dissolve into a fit of giggles. “Please—don’t tell me—”

Jungkook takes the weight of his shoulder pressed against yours and pushes you over with it before you can finish your sentence. You lean away from him but bring the force back with your own shoulder, fighting him for more room on the dolphin-plushie-turned-back-rest.

You two battle for a second, pushing against each other like children until Jungkook lifts his arm up and around you, cocooning you in his warmth and bringing you to rest fully on the right side of his body. He’s leaning a little against the corner of the back of the SUV and you are nestled within his side body, feeling the heat of his chest pressed against your cheek. You breathe in and out before you realize that maybe, you should move.

You go to sit up, but Jungkook says, “Wait, stay. You’re warm.”

It’s not you that’s warm—your face, sure—but Jungkook’s body feels like your own personal heater. You try to relax, leaning against him once again in a better cuddling position with your head resting on Jungkook’s chest, right below his collarbones. You can hear his heartbeat this way—thudding what you think is a little faster than normal underneath the layers of his thin hoodie and T-shirt.

“Are you comfortable? Can you see?”

You’re not sure, but you think he sounds a little breathless—from the sudden change in your positions, or the tussle before, you can’t tell which is the culprit.

“Yeah,” you say, shifting a little so that you’re more on your side rather than just leaning over onto him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great,” he says, and again, it sounds like there’s a hint of smile in his voice.

You can’t focus on the movie after that. Jungkook is too close, his intoxicating scent swirling into your nostrils with every inhale, your head rising up and down with each breath he takes. This was what friends did, right? This was totally friendly. He just wanted you to be comfortable. You repeat this to yourself as Jungkook’s hand—that was once just dangling over your shoulder—begins to trace soft patterns into your side.

You close your eyes, focusing on slowing the thumping of your heart, timing your inhales to let him know that this is okay. This is totally fine. You aren’t freaking out. You’re just here, enjoying everything that Jungkook had to offer you.

It’s fine. He’s fine. You’re fine. Maybe he was just touchy—some boys were like that, after all. Some friendly relationships included tons of skinship. You just weren’t used to it, and you needed to quickly acquaint yourself with the fact that this was how it would be with him if you continued to hang out.

Before you know it, you’re so lost in your thoughts you don’t catch most of the end of the movie. In fact, you don’t even realize it’s over until the credits are rolling and people are moving around you again, the sounds of car doors and trunks slamming as people get ready to move onto their next activity.

It’s only 9PM, but it’s dark outside—the blues of the sky that had enticed you so much once before had faded to an indescribable navy, a blue so deep that it looked black. If you focused, you could see the minute twinkling of stars past the stadium lights on the outskirts that blink on after the movie is over so everyone could exit in a timely and visible fashion.

Jungkook yawns, patting your side. “I think I fell asleep for a moment—I was so comfortable here.”

He laughs in spite of himself, and you give him a breathless chuckle in return. “Sorry if I made your side sore.” You get off of him, scooting over to give him a little room to sit up straight.

“Sore?” he asks incredulously. “Y/N, you’re like a feather. I’m not that breakable.”

Boy, did you know. Thoughts of his muscular stomach flash in your mind, and you will them away. He watch him reach up to close the trunk as people begin to move outside of the car, cocooning you two back into a comfortable darkness from the tints on the back windows.

“Still.”

“Still, what?” he says. There’s a small silence that ensues. “You’re so nervous around me. Is it me?”

“What?” you say, furrowing your brow. Your skin pricks with the same nervousness that you are about refute. “I mean—”

“I know I’m pretty standoffish at the pool, but I don’t mean to be that way,” he admits. “I just felt like I was in this new place with all of these established relationships and rules. You have Jihyo, and well, Hoseok and I are close, but we’re not best friends.” He pauses. “I was really surprised when Jihyo invited me out with you all.”

“Surprised,” you repeat quietly.

His words absolutely contradict the Jungkook you thought you knew. But maybe that’s how it would always be—you realizing he had his own motives and reasons for being the way he was, and you not understanding a bit of it until he decided to divulge you in them.

“Yeah, surprised,” he nods. “I feel out of place, here. If I’m being honest.”

“But you live here.”

“I don’t have any friends though, because I’m gone for nine months out of the year,” he says, shrugging. “I didn’t have any in high school, either. It was just—I don’t know. I didn’t like it here, so I didn’t see a reason to have any ties.”

You can’t really wrap your head around it, but you realize Jungkook is being vulnerable to you in this moment. You don’t want to make him regret it, so you reach out to him—the closest thing to you is his hand, resting on the duvet between you two—and you run your fingers over the soft skin in a timid, unsure fashion.

“Jihyo and I will never say no to new additions to our friend circle,” you say with a smile. “It gives us reasons not to kill each other if someone else is watching.”

Jungkook chuckles a little, holding your gaze. The trunk of the car is still closed, and most of the crowd has dispersed to other parts of the beach where the boardwalk is still alive and filled with weekend nightlife.

“That’s good to know,” Jungkook says softly, looking down at your hands on the blanket. He slides his underneath yours and links his fingers through the spaces in between.

“Y/N—” he says, leaning closer to you, “—thanks. Really.”

You lean closer as well, feeling the magnetism of your two bodies being pulled together in the dark. Your breath comes out in unmeasured puffs, threatening to give away how nervous you are. You’re glad Jungkook can’t really see you anymore, and you’re certainly glad he can’t hear the unsteady beat of your heart as your faces inch closer and closer. As the quiet of the night cocoons you two like a soft blanket, there is no noise other than your heartbeat in your ears as Jungkook’s mouth hovers over your own.

You feel his unsteady sigh outwards as he says, “Are you sure you’re not—”

You use your remaining courage to stop him before he can finish his sentence, closing the distance between your mouths into a soft, sweet kiss. It stays that way for a moment—closed-mouth and innocent—before Jungkook brings his hand to the back of your head and deepens it, pressing his mouth hard against your own in a way that is a command all in its own.

Your lips part involuntarily and Jungkook’s tongue presses softly against the ridge of your mouth, tracing the outline until he is exploring the inside with ease and expertise. As your tongues lace together, you find yourself placing heavy hands on his chest, slightly wrinkling the collar of his shirt with your nails before you slide your hands up and over his shoulders and hook them together behind his neck.

Your head tilts to the right and you push back against him, following the energy and putting it into the most passionate kissing session you’ve had—well, ever. Jungkook places his hands on your hips and pulls you over him so that you are straddling his waist, his experience showing as he places you right on top of his hardening member. You have no choice but to feel it between your thighs and the thin material of your bike shorts—a decision you certainly didn’t realize would come in handy when you’d picked them out a few hours ago in your bedroom closet.

You two kiss and kiss and kiss, getting lost within each other for what feels like hours. You can’t allow yourself to disassociate and think about anything other than what was happening in the moment—although there was a part of your brain that couldn’t believe it was happening, surely.

You were kissing Jungkook. Jungkook was kissing you—no, it was more than that. He was touching you: his hands making a lazy trail up your back, in between your shoulder blades and over the hump of your shoulders until they entangled in your hair and kept your mouth criminal to his. He was breathing you in: making a trail away from your mouth, down your jaw and neck, where he settled on sucking small, reddened splotches into the thin skin just around the collar of your pullover. You want more of him, but more would have to wait.

Jungkook pauses underneath you, much more intact with the real world than you are because he shushes you politely so that you can hear it: the tell-tale sound of your phone humming the vibrations of an incoming call.

“It’s Jihyo,” he says in the darkness, allowing the brightness of your screen to illuminate your faces, inches apart. He hands it to you, and you clear your throat in an attempt to sound less breathless than you actually are as you greet your friend.

“Where are you?” she asks—but it sounds more like a demand. “I know the movie is over by now. You haven’t answered my texts. Are you okay?”

“What?” you say but shake your head. “I’m fine, sorry. Jungkook and I were trying to find our way out of the theatre parking lot. It’s really crowded over here so we had to wait for our turn.”

In the light of your phone pressed against your cheek, you can just barely make out Jungkook’s knowing smirk in the dark.

“Hoseok and I are waiting at Pier 14. Did you two still want to get dinner?”

Jungkook nods in answer, leaning forward a little to press his lips softly against the center of your throat while you talk. You take a calming breath in and out as he mouths at the skin there, swiping his tongue over the space lightly before continuing to kiss away any of your troubles. You close your eyes again, feeling like you’re disappearing under his soft touch before you realize Jihyo is still waiting on your answer.

“Dinner sounds good,” you manage. “Text me an address—you and Hoseok can choose. I don’t care.”

You hang up before she can protest. Your mouth hovers over Jungkook’s, lips pressed together in a solid line.

“That wasn’t very nice,” you admonish him, placing your hands on his firm shoulders. “I was trying to talk.”

“I know,” he says in a soft tone, breathing out a laugh. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“You better.”

He gives you one last lingering kiss—one that steals the breath from your lungs and makes you feel lightheaded before he lets you go. You feel warm all over as you two crawl toward the front of his car, returning to your seats while stealing knowing glances at each other.

You don’t want to dwell on the thoughts too much, but a lot had changed in the last hour that you couldn’t even wrap your head around, much less understand and come to accept. Your lips tingle as your mind flies through the events again, attempting to see you and Jungkook from a third-person perspective in your mind, but really just focusing on the way it felt when he was kissing you, touching you, breathing you in.

You knew one thing for certain, though: your pact with yourself was up. You weren’t just diving into the shallow anymore. You were in the deep end.

#jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts fic #bts scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bts butter #bts jungkook #honeyedhoseok #blue

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adonis-koo · 4 years ago

Text

ghostin him

Summary: Life is nothing more than dull colors for you, your world shattered and laying in the shards of what once was rather than focusing on what is. That is until you meet Kim Namjoon, who is immediately taken by you without realizing you’re a girl with a whole lot of baggage, through tears and many sleepless nights you’re faced with a choice of hanging on with bleeding hands, or accepting what is, and letting go.

‘What did you do?’

‘I ruined everything. I kissed her and she looked at me like I was a ghost.’

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader, Taehyung/reader

Word Count: 26k

Genre: hurt and comfort, angst with a happy ending, whew this one is gonna hurt y’all, bakery!AU, one sided pining, unrequited feelings, some more angst, Jungkook just really loves his Noona, Namjoon is a mess, but so is MC,

Warning: this fic deals with major character death, mourning and suicidal thoughts, please read with caution!

Note: whew, I’m not gonna lie guys this is a pretty heavy fic! I poured a lot of sad feelings into this as just a way to vent out my sadness! I’d also like to mention I am fine lmao! I often get bouts of sadness and all of it went into this so I hope you enjoy! Last but not least a big big big thank you to @tiny-onecx for beta reading this when it was a giant mess and helping me turn it into the bittersweet story it is today! <3

“Baby, come on, wake up,” His deep, dulcet voice quietly called out, a whine escaping you as you flopped onto your stomach, your face buried. Large hands grabbing your waist as his fingertips dragged against the open skin, “C’mon, you missed your alarm clock.” You felt his nose rub against your neck, hair tickling your skin and his body was so warm.

Rolling over you groaned as you glanced at the man who laid beside you, Taehyung’s smile lit up like the sun as he let his fingers gently brush over the skin of your face, “Morning.”

Adoration filled your whole chest, butterflies swarming in your stomach with giddy happiness you couldn’t ever adequately describe as a shy smile tugged on your lips, “Morning.” His fingers dragging down to your lips, thumbing the soft subtle lower lip. His forehead pressing against yours as he smiled once more, “Come on baby, let’s get up.”

“Get up.”

“Y/n, you’re gonna be late for work, what the hell!?”

Your eyes cracked open as you groaned, your roommate Jimin was already dressed and had probably already eaten breakfast as he sighed, frowning at your somewhat confused figure as your head snapped to the other side of the bed. It was like a sucker punch in the gut, seeing the other side of the bed empty. Tears already threatened to spill, the butterflies in your stomach were gone, his deep voice along with it as you realized Taehyung, the man you had woken up with was just a cruel dream, “I’ll be up in a minute.” You muttered, covering your face with your pillow as you choked back a crack in your voice.

You could feel Jimin’s presence stay in the room at the sound of your muffled sob, refusing to show your face from your pillow as you curled up away from him. You didn’t want to talk about it, he knew it, but it still hurt to watch you. Even after a year it was like time had stopped, would it ever heal? Your door quietly shut after a minute as you pressed your face into your pillow to quiet your sobs, hugging it close and praying maybe if you tried hard enough you’d fall back asleep where you’d be with Taehyung again.

It didn’t matter how much sleep you got, your body was permanently lethargic and tired, getting out of bed every day was always a difficult task. Tears stained your face as you grabbed your phone, sniffling as you muttered, “Shit.” You dropped your phone into your lap as you pressed your hands to your face. You were late. Again. Your boss had been understanding the first six months, but now? Not so much.

You got up, hurriedly wiping your face as you sniffled once more, fumbling with your clothes as you changed. Tying up your hair as you grabbed your phone before hurrying out the door, Jimin long gone for work so at the very least he wasn’t going to nag you for being late. It didn’t matter what you did, you tried everything, a new hobby, crafts, drawing, baking, nothing worked. Nothing filled the void in you. You could find Taehyung in everything you did, always.

Straightening yourself out you opened the door to the cafe you worked in. The only thing that made you feel better was working, filling your life with nothing but endless busy work to keep your thoughts off of him. It worked until you got off shift and rinse repeat. That was all your life had become now.

It used to be filled with vivid hues and rose colored glasses with Taehyung, he found beauty in everything and he showered you in all of it, he taught you optimism and love in a way you never thought you could feel it. You had gotten so used to his presence you didn’t even realize how much you radiate happiness when he was with you. Now your life is a bleak endless void; work, cry, sleep.

It’s all the energy you had to do anymore, what was the point in doing anything else? You’d never get to experience life in the beautiful eyes of Taehyung again. You sucked a sharp breath of air in as a voice called out, “Hey! There you are Noona.” Like a blessing from above your coworker called out with a big bunny-like smile.

“Thank’s Jungkook.” He hadn’t even said anything but you couldn’t help but give a weak smile in compensation for him not ratting you out to your boss who luckily wasn’t in today. He knew what happened, but he rarely ever brings it up, perhaps sensing you were still grieving and would prefer to keep your mind off it.

But you knew you couldn’t fool anyone, your smile always seemed sadder these days, Jungkook more than anyone could sense it. Rounding the counter you set your bag down as he asked softly, “Are you good?” That was all he ever asked, an open invitation that if you ever wanted to talk about it he’d be more than happy to listen. Many people in your life were like this, bless all of them.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You mumbled, refusing to look at him as you dug through your things, pretending as if you were looking for something when you genuinely couldn’t look at him, few words could cause you to burst into a faucet of tears and you refused to cry at work.

If you turned around to look up at Jungkook’s stupid, soft, doe like eyes that were always so understanding you’d surely start crying. You didn’t have to look at your coworker to know he was frowning but said no more, just like always.

You didn’t mean to push all of your friends away, but you simply needed time alone, by yourself to get through this. If ever. Some days you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever get over it, if you’d ever love someone the way you loved Taehyung again. Pulling the apron on you pushed all of your sad thoughts to the back of your head and got to work.

Work was your happy place, as happy as it could be at least. You could pretend, just for a little while. That everything was okay, “Hey, where did the flour go?” Yoongi came out of the back complaining as he glared at Jungkook, “You closed last night.” His eyes narrowed into daggers at the younger boy who impishly smiled in response,

“Hyung it’s where it always is, didn’t you check the top shelf? It should be there.” Jungkook insisted as he followed Yoongi to the back who was grumbling, said-baker not liking his ingredients misplaced. You felt a small smile tug on your lips as you watched them bicker as the door to the back shut.

Turning away you walked up to the register where a customer had been scanning over the menu before ordering. Fixing coffee, getting a croissant, it was quaint work but something about it made you feel happy. Reminded you of simpler times.

The bell against the door rang as you popped up from your crouched position, setting the plate and coffee on the counter as you called out the customer's name before going back up to the register, carefully watching the man whose eyes met with yours suddenly smack right into a table.

You winced a little as he grunted in pain, rubbing his thigh that hit the hard edge of the table, his face looking oddly red as he rubbed his neck, unable to hold your stare for a even a short period of time as he awkwardly coughed, frantically looking over the menu, “Uh, you can take your time sir.” You raised an eyebrow as you glanced away, why was he making this feel so awkward?

“O-okay, thank you.” He offered a sincere yet somewhat odd smile, your eyes immediately flickering to the pretty dimples that poked into his cheeks before he quickly looked back up at the menu as you turned around to wipe down the counters that had gotten crumbs all over it. Presumably from Jungkook eating yesterday's leftover pastries that didn’t sell.

Casually you glanced at the stranger, sure you had a few new people every day but generally the cafe only had regulars come in or people that stopped in a few times a week. It was a trendy little place and was close to the city’s college campus making it a hot spot for friends to study at.

“You don’t look like you’ve been here before.” You commented causing him to jump, his eyes flicking to your figure before immediately back to the menu.

“I uh- Probably because I haven’t,” He gave an awkward smile as he closed his eyes, without even fully realizing it you felt your lips tug into a tiny smile as he began to relax a little at your observation, “My friend constantly talks about how amazing the pastries here are so I figured I’d come by and try them, just the smell is making my mouth water.”

Letting your arms rest against the counter you hummed, “You should try the coco cream cupcakes if you like chocolate oh! Or the sugar glazed puff pastries if you want something light and low on the sweetness.” Sugar glazed pastries were your favorite, Yoongi would always let you take leftovers home if they didn’t all sell that day. You always loved sharing them with-

“Alright! I’ll have two of the sugar glazed pastries then! Oh, can I get an americano to go with it?” He asked, seemingly confident in your choice of sweets or maybe just a little overwhelmed at how much was crammed onto the small menu.

To be fair Yoongi was always whipping out new recipes and they always tasted delicious, he eventually had to keep some limited edition due to the limited space on the menu and sometimes he’d put up seasonal sweets as well. Your favorite was never pumpkin spice but nutmeg and cider cinnamon rolls, it tasted like october. October would be coming around again soon, it was hard to believe it would be a year soon…

“Of course.” You coughed out, hands fumbling somewhat as you tried to keep your mind from sinking into a place where it would not return if you let it, “Name?”

“U-uh what?” He asked, looking somewhat sheepish and caught off guard as you glanced up from the register, tilting your head at the sight of his flushed face and eyes that kept jumping between you and the menu over ahead as if to appear like he wasn’t staring at you.

“For the order…” You replied somewhat hesitantly, a frown on your face as he suddenly laughed, looking mildly relieved as he rubbed the back of his neck. Still refusing to meet your gaze as if he seemed a little embarrassed.

“O-oh right. Namjoon.” He offered a weak smile as you wrote it down on his cup. Ringing him up you gave him his receipt before working on his americano. Jungkook just then opened the door to the back, the front of his black shirt completely covered in flour and his face looked as if he just sucked on a lemon.

“...Do I wanna ask?” You frowned though you felt your lips threatening to tug into a smile at his exasperated expression, turning to face the register as he mumbled something about accidentally putting the flour in the pantry. Setting the sugar glazed pastry neatly on a plate before placing the plate and drink on the counter calling Namjoon’s name who appeared to be typing very passionately on his phone before glancing up.

“Thank you- ah…” He paused for a moment, his eyes dropping to your shirt before he smiled brightly at you, “Y/n.” Your name tag was a little crooked today, making it stick out from your clothes in an annoying way but you couldn’t be bothered to adjust it.

You gave a small nod as you turned around, glancing at Jungkook who seemed to watch both you and the man- Namjoon like a hawk as you asked, “What?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged but it definitely did not look like nothing, before you could interrogate the younger boy he was already taking a customer's order. Sighing, you shook your head before you began working on the next order.

The day went by quickly as always, the only thing that stuck out was when Namjoon left, waving at you before accidentally smacking against a chair that had been left unpushed by a table, causing him to stumble. You weren’t sure why but something just seemed….

“He likes you.”

Your head whipped back over to Jungkook who was finished the last of cleaning before taking off as if his shift ended an hour earlier than yours. You couldn’t help but scoff as you rolled your eyes.

“I’m being serious Noona!” Jungkook frowned, waving his hand to the door where Namjoon had long since left, “He kept smiling like an idiot while glancing over at you working.” You crossed your arms as you tilted your head.

“You were watching him eat?” You raised a brow, Jungkook’s face flushing somewhat as he glanced away, mumbling a no despite knowing for a fact he definitely was, “He’s just a customer Jungkook.” You dismissed him making a cute pout tug on his lips. You...you couldn’t even think about someone liking you.

It wasn’t possible. Not right now at least. Jungkook sighed, his lips still tugged into a pout and those dumb doe eyes of his always getting the better of you as you scowled looking away, he was so stubborn when he wanted to be, “You might not be ready to move on Noona but that doesn’t mean other people can see that.”

Your jaw clenched and your eyes glared against the counter, refusing to look at him as he sighed, “Bye Noona, see you friday.” You mumbled a goodbye as you sighed, closing your eyes as you rubbed your forehead. Just keep breathing.

“Awh don’t cry baby,” Your cheeks squished and lips peppered against your face as you sniffled, trying your best not to cry at the sad scene in the movie but failing as a small whimper escaped your lips, “You’re so cute.”

You shoved him causing laughter to erupt from his lips as you scowled while sniffling, “Tae shut up!” He gave you a playful nip on the neck as he hauled you into his lap, pressing little kisses against your head as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll always be here to wipe those tears away.” He thumbed a tear against your cheek before his hands suddenly grabbed at your waist, a squeal leaving your lips as he ruthlessly tickled you, giggles escaping you as he pushed you down against the bed, “There’s that pretty smile.” He cooed, that playful boxy grin of his on his face as you squirmed beneath him, tears pricking in your eyes at how hard you were laughing.

Now your eyes were blurring out of sadness, funny how you took those moments for granted when you still had him. Your fingers traced the image of his face on your phone, it was a dumb selfie you had took one morning together when you were half asleep.

What you’d give to be with him again, have him beside you in bed telling you to get off your phone while whining to hold you. You could almost picture him beside you, his hair in a multitude of colors but your favorite was always that stupid blueberry dye he had insisted was indigo.

His hands would be cupping your face, your hand gently grabbing your cheek as you closed your eyes. He’d always thumb your bottom lip before letting his pads delicately trace up your cheekbone. Opening your eyes the bed was still empty, the hand on your face was not his, but your own.

Tears began to pool in your eyes as you rolled onto your back, closing your eyes as you felt a wet tear roll down. Sniffling as you sat up, you couldn’t be here alone tonight. Not surrounded by everything, wearing his old hoodie he’d always give you when you were cold, surrounded by memories of what could have been. What was supposed to be.

Fumbling you stood up, ignoring all the pictures framed of your smiling figure hugging the love of your life. Covering your mouth to keep yourself from sobbing, Jimin would have to be up early tomorrow and you didn’t want him to feel obligated to deal with you. Putting on your shoes you sniffled as you wiped your cheeks.

How late was it? Two in the morning? Maybe even three, you could never truly sleep anymore, not when you weren’t in his arms, not when every moment you breathed the ache filled you. Your feet took you to the only place opened this late; the convenient store. During nights when you didn’t have to work the next day Taehyung loved taking you here when you had a stressful day.

Always rambling about how nothing could cheer you up like a nice hot bowl of ramen. You couldn’t help but smile at the irony as the tears dripped down your cheeks. Wiping them as you entered the store. The cashier looked bored, headphones in and reading a magazine not even acknowledging your presence as you walked to where the ramen was held.

What you didn’t expect to do was ram into what felt like a brick, “Ah!” You stumbled as the man quickly grabbed you by the arms to keep you steady, taking a moment to steady yourself you glanced up only to feel your lips part, “Namjoon?”

“Y/n?” Namjoon hurriedly let you go, looking at you in somewhat disbelief as you flusteredly rubbed your eyes, realizing they were still wet with tears, “Are...are you okay?” He asked somewhat hesitantly as you turned away from him, tears flooding your eyes as your shoulders bobbed.

“Y-yeah.” You sniffled, trying to keep your breathing under control, “I’m okay.” You forced it out as you covered your mouth. Rubbing your eyes once more as you hesitantly took a peep at him, his expression said it all. Truthfully, anyone who had seen you like this always gave you that same expression. Pity. His brows pressed together and lips parted but frowning slightly, “I’m fine!” You forced a smile as another tear trickled down your face, turning away from him again you let out a soft sob as you closed your eyes.

“...Maybe we should get some ramen and sit down?” Namjoon offered while rubbing his neck, “I’m assuming that’s why you’re here?”

....

Glancing down at your cup of steaming warm ramen you sniffled, refusing to look up at the somewhat skittish man who seemed genuinely worried for you.

‘Come on baby, eat up, it’ll make you feel better’

Tears already blurred your eyes again as you closed them, letting out a soft sob, lips trembling as you chopsticks shook, slurping on your noodles as you suppressed your cries. The warm broth making you realize how hungry you were as you swallowed.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Namjoon offered, his expression sad, unsure of how to help you or even if he could, but it seemed he wasn’t leaving anytime soon as he began eating his own noodles.

You stayed silent as tears dripped down your face, clenching your cup with a death grasp as you forced the noodles into your mouth, closing your eyes as you savored them. Unable to even speak as you shook your head. You couldn’t talk about it...it was too soon. Even coming up on a year and it was still too soon.

You felt pathetic living like this, you were crying in front of a stranger while eating cup noodles at a gas station at three in the morning. Where would you be if Taehyung was still here? At home, asleep in his arms. Closing your eyes you let the tears slide down your face as you surrendered to the hurt you had been drowning in the moment your life was turned upside down.

For the first time, you were grateful to have company, even if you didn’t speak a word to Namjoon he made one sided conversation, rambling about how he had stayed up too late studying for an exam and how he was hungry but didn’t have anything at his dorm.

“I’ve been trying to keep my Bonsai tree alive but...gardening is kind of hard to learn,” Namjoon continued rambling on, confessing as he looked a little embarrassed, awkwardly leaning his seat as he mustered a weak smile while looking down at his cup.

His voice was...soothing to listen to admittedly. Namjoon was oddly poetic in the most unexpected way, he told you he loved philosophy and going to the art museum in his free time. He seemed to be able to find anything to talk about even if you weren’t receptive, but oddly enough he didn’t seem bothered by it.

You were curled up, your knees against your chest and hood burying your face as you listened to him intently, your eyes undoubtedly bloodshot but you had stopped crying a good ten minutes ago, sniffling as he sighed, “But from what I’ve read basically if it doesn’t vibe with the dirt it just dies.”

The snort that escape you made his eyes shoot up to look at you, a giggle breaking out on your lips as you stared at your noodles which had become lukewarm, sniffling a little as a tiny smile tugged on your lips, shaking your head as you mumbled, “That’s not exactly how gardening works. You wanna make sure the soil is good quality and damp, dry soil kills plants fast when they transfer pots, you also need to make sure the roots aren’t overgrown when you transfer it to a bigger pot.”

“Oh? I didn’t take you for a plant expert.” Namjoon quipped playfully, that pretty dimpled smile on his lips, obviously happy to get a not just a smile but also a laugh from you.

You glanced at him for a moment, your lips quirking a little as you raised a brow, shaking your head as you smiled back at your cup again, “I consider myself a bit of dirt viber.” You couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped you as Namjoon joined in. After a moment you paused as you exhaled softly, your smile eventually melting off your face as you meekly glanced at your cup.

“I should get home...work in the morning.” You mumbled as you glanced at your phone, it was already 3:30 in the morning and you needed to be up by seven...the latest if you didn’t want to be late again.

Namjoon nodded understandingly, giving you one last smile when you left. Once again alone, yet for the first time in what felt like a long time, your mind lingered on those pretty dimples.

“You look tired Noona.” You glared at Jungkook who was sucking on a lollipop, giving you a bratty smile as he tried to ruffle your hair only to earn a slap in return, a pout forming on his lip, “Did you think about what I asked?”

Bless the little brats heart, Jungkook was genuinely trying to get you out there again but you had become a shell. You didn’t want to go to parties, you didn’t want to go to the park, you didn’t even want to get groceries anymore. You just wanted to lay in bed for a very long time.

“I’m not interested in going out Jungkook.” You glanced at him tiredly, truthfully you had a good excuse, you were running on three hours of sleep and caffeine could only carry you so far for eight hours, rubbing your eyes you sighed as he whined with a groan.

“You always say that!” Jungkook pouted, much to your surprise Yoongi had shown himself out from his cave as he pushed the door open, a fresh platter of sugar glazed pastries on rack as Jungkook huffed, “Just this once, please?”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi warned as he glanced at the younger boy, taking a glance at you as he frowned, setting down the platter he picked up a pastry as he handed it to you.

Glancing down at the fresh baked soft flaky treat you sighed, “Is this what’s my life come too?” Both boys glanced at you as you stared at the pastry, “Pity pastries and being dragged to parties?”

You shoved the sweet treat into your mouth as you chomped down on the soft doughy material, the sweet crisp sugar glaze was crunchy against the soft warm dough of the pastry. “Well hey, if you don’t appreciate my pastries...” Yoongi tried to snatch the half eaten treat from you but you hurriedly shoved it into your mouth as you glared him down.

The door suddenly jingled, catching all of your attention only to see the bright smile of only the most genuine and sweet person you had ever met, much to your surprise a more bashful person was being dragged behind him, “Hey Y/n! Kook, Yoongi!” Hoseok waved happily as he bounced up to the counter, Namjoon rubbing his neck as he gave you a somewhat sheepish smile before hurriedly looking at the menu.

“Lemme get a caramel macchiato with a carrot cake bomb and...oh! Are those fresh sugar glazed pastries…!” Hoseok’s eyes practically sparkled as Yoongi cleared his throat, ears looking somewhat pink.

“Fresh out of the oven…” He mumbled causing Jungkook to snort- as if he was any better around guys or girls for that matter. You found it all amusing as you already began working on the macchiato.

“And Namjoon?” You turned to glance at him as he perked at the sound of his name, he glanced up at the menu as he hummed.

“Could I try the mystic mountain tea? It sounds really good…Oh, with a chocolate stuffed croissant.” Namjoon answered as Jungkook rang them up, Hoseok’s attention was solely on Yoongi and you could tell he was excited by the way his voice became all fluttery. Yoongi rarely ever left the back room where all the baking was done.

“It is,” Your back was turned from Namjoon as you spoke, “It’s made with mint, pine needles and chamomile but we use cane sugar with it to give it a nice sweet flavor. It’s one of my favorites.” You smiled as you turned to face him, setting down the macchiato as you grabbed another cup. Namjoon’s smile seemed automatic, his somewhat slouched figure before straightening and it seemed as if he didn’t even realize it.

“Oh so you like gardening and tea?” He playfully quipped, rolling your eyes you turned to face the brewer again as you felt a smile tug on your lips, “You seem like a woman of many weird talents.”

Pouring the hot water into the cup you set it down as you glanced over your shoulder, “Says the one that’s struggling to keep his Bonsai tree alive.”

“Hey!” Namjoon’s brows pressed together and his dimples popped out making you laugh, “It’s not my fault it’s petty and sensitive to literally everything.” You waved a dismissive hand as you walked to the door to the back, intending to get the jar of tea leaves that somehow made their way back there, “Keep telling yourself that.”

Your figure disappeared as Jungkook tilted his head, a mischievous smile on his lips as he hummed, glancing between the door and Namjoon’s lopsided smile as he commented, “You know, that’s the first I think I’ve seen her smile in the past two months.”

Namjoon glanced at him as he frowned, “What...do you mean?” He asked carefully, his thoughts going back to last night, your eyes bloodshot and tears staining your cheeks, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious. But a part of him was worried at the way you seemed so melancholy. He could see it in your eyes with every interaction he had. They always seemed so sad. Namjoon was happy, grateful even though he had gotten a few glimpses at what your smile looked like happy, bright, beautiful even…

Jungkook shrugged, not answering as you reappeared, opening the door with tea leave jar in hand as you scooped the leaves up into a metal steeper, “Alright this should be done in a few minutes.” Jungkook had meanwhile set out their pastries but it seemed like Hoseok had Yoongi trapped, his ears were pink and he looked ready to crawl back into his little hole once more.

“So you’re coming tonight, right Yoongi?” Hoseok flashed a bright charming smile at the brooding male who shifted away from him, “It’ll be a lot of fun, Jungkook is going.” To which Jungkook enthusiastically nodded.

“...I need to go check on my pastry puffs.” Yoongi mumbled, his cheeks bright pink as he hurried back into the kitchen as you snorted, an amused smile tugging on your lips as the doors rocked back and forth.

Hoseok’s lips tugging into a pout as he sighed, “Do you think he hates me?” He shoved the pastry into his mouth as he glanced at his plate depressively.

“Uh no, he’s just a panicked gay,” Jungkook clacked his tongue, “I wouldn’t take it personal. If I can’t get miss broody here to go I’ll make sure he does.” Jungkook wrapped an arm around you as you glared at him, making a cheeky smile tug on his lips.

“You won’t go Y/n?” Hoseok shot you puppy eyes as you sighed. Hoseok was a regular at the cafe and chummy with just about everyone, if he was a sim character you just knew for a fact he’d be a friend to the world trait to a T.

He had been coming here for the past month straight which made you wonder if Hoseok was the one who recommended Namjoon come here.

You shook your head, offering a weak, tired smile as you shrugged, “Not my cup of tea. Speaking of.” You whirled around, pulling the steeper out of the cup before dropping in three sugar cubes before popping on the lid, “Here you go.” You handed it over to Namjoon who looked excited to try, something subtle yet innocent in his expression as he poked his straw through and gave it a sip.

“You were right! No wonder it’s your favorite, it’s delicious.” Namjoon complimented, something about his sincere tone of voice, or maybe it was those stupid dimples of his. Whatever it was your lips tugged into a smile and yet, you felt...bashful? Lowering your gaze a little as you rubbed the back of your neck.

“You should try the lavender dream next time if you really like tea, it’s another good one.” You offered meekly, suddenly feeling a little timid under his gaze as you fumbled with your apron. A sudden well of feelings dowsing you. Insecurity, guilt, shame. Why did you feel so bashful in front of Namjoon...how could you when...When Taehyung…

It felt like a stab in your heart as you inhaled sharply, “I-I should go check stock real quick for pastries.” You mumbled, leaving all three boys dumbfound. Entering the back you grabbed your head as you felt your hands tremble.

Guilt

How could you betray Taehyung like this?

You shouldn’t feel this way.

You don’t deserve to.

Taehyung would’ve never done this to you.

How could you do this to him?

Your heart was beating frantically as your hands trembled as tears began to trickle down your face, “Hey, hey, hey.” Yoongi’s voice felt far away as your breathing became quick, thoughts racing and your hands shaking.

Unworthy

How dare you ever think about replacing Taehyung.

“Yoongi said you had a panic attack.”

You felt like a child being scolded, wrapped in three different blankets and four pillows surrounding you while you sat on the couch in front of Jimin who frowned in disappointment. Of course he was disappointed.

“It wasn’t that bad…” You mumbled, glancing down as you tugged the blanket around you further making Jimin sigh, sitting down next to you as he pulled you close.

“Why do you always lie?” He asked quietly as you curled against him, letting your head rest against his shoulder, the kdrama you both had been watching long forgotten. When you woke up you were home, comfortable and warm. And for a half a second, you thought maybe it was Taehyung who you were laying against. Much to your heartache it was Jimin when you opened your eyes.

You had been expecting this conversation for the past hour, and lo and behold, here you were, “It’s easier.” You mumbled, eyes beginning to blur as you scoffed a bitter smile, “I’m so pathetic, I can’t even face my own feelings. It’s just easier to keep it to myself.”

Jimin’s grip tightened around you and even though you couldn't see him you knew he was frowning, “But that isn’t healthy Y/n, you know it just as well as I do. I worry about you, everyone does. You aren’t a burden to anyone. It hurts watching you go through this alone when we all want is to help.”

And here it was the tears dripping down your cheeks as you shook your head, a weak sob escaping your lips as you mumbled, “If I talk about it, that means I have to accept he’s gone.” You choked out, “And I can’t do that Jimin. I can’t.” You sobbed as you glanced up at him, tears streaming down your face as you pleaded, “I can’t.” Almost a whole year and you were still in denial just as much as you were when you first got the phone call.

You were still just as devastated as you sobbed into his shoulder, his arms wrapped tight around you as he stroked your hair. It seemed like everyone had moved on by now. Taehyung was just a name in the past. A ghost you couldn’t let go of. Jimin was the bridge between you both, he was the reason you had met Taehyung at all, this man was like a brother to him. But even the pain for him had lessened with time.

“I miss him too Y/n. I do. But you’re going to have to let him go,” You rapidly shook your head, your breath becoming uneven as sobs escaped you, tears staining his shirt as he murmured gently, “Taehyung wouldn’t want you to be like this.” Tears couldn’t stop pouring from your eyes, you knew he was right. But you couldn’t let him go, not yet. Just a little longer. Just a little longer.

Taehyung was a ghost and you were desperately clinging to every remnant you had left of him. This man was the love of your life, your soulmate, you needed him. You needed him. How were you supposed to move on with your life when you had to live with the knowledge of what could’ve been. Your body violently trembled as you drown yourself in tears next to Jimin who was always so strong.

The only time you ever saw him lose it was when you bursted into the hallway in the hospital, his eyes were bloodshot and all it took was one exchanged look before a dam was released in his eyes. Maybe he had numbed himself to the pain, it was difficult to tell. Jimin let his nose bury into your hair as he inhaled softly, tenderly stroking your hair in the same way Taehyung always would in these moments.

‘Baby, hey…Shhh…Come on don’t cry. What’s going on?” You shook your head rapidly as you tugged away from Taehyung’s grip, his hands keeping you in place and his face twisted into worry before he cupped your cheeks, “Sweetheart.” He pressed his forehead against yours.

“i-I-It’s stupid…” You whimpered as you closed your eyes, shaking your head as he pressed a kiss against your nose encouragingly, sucking in a harsh breath you sobbed out, “I-I overheard your conversation with Hyuna.”

Taehyung immediately frowned as he sighed softly, his thumbs soothingly rubbing your cheeks as he mumbled, “Baby don’t listen to her. She’s just a jealous old ex.”

“She’s right.” You laughed bitterly as you refused to look at him, “I don’t deserve to be with somebody like you-”

“Hey.” Taehyung’s voice was stern, his hands making you look at him as he pressed his forehead back against yours as he mumbled, “Don’t you ever say that about yourself, okay? I love you Y/n, you’re my girl okay? I would never take anyone else over you.” You closed your eyes as your lips trembled, his lips soothingly pressing against yours as his thumbs stroked your cheekbones.

It was a gentle kiss, your favorite as you complied, chasing his lips as he tried to pull back, making him chuckle against your mouth as he pressed multiple little kisses on your lips before breaking away making you whine with a sniffle, “Come on baby, let’s go get you some noodles, I’m sure it’ll make you feel better.” He gave you a warm smile as he brushed your tears away.

Smiling you giggled a little as you wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him tight as you mumbled, “What would I ever do without you?”

“Crash and burn probably.” Taehyung joked with that adorable boxy smile of his as you smacked his arm, leaning on your tiptoes as you puckered your lips. Tutting he leaned down pressing one more chaste kiss on your lips.

Crash and burn, you wanted to laugh, he wasn’t wrong. He never was.

Jimin had eventually gotten you to calm down, a cup of hot chocolate in your hands and your legs over his lap, still curled close, but enough away to keep your grip on your warm drink, “How has work been, hm?” Jimin asked, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face as you sighed.

Shrugging a little you sipped the sweet liquid as you mumbled, “Same as always. Met one of Hoseok’s friends recently, he seems...interesting.” You rubbed your forehead, trying not to think about what happened earlier that day.

“Oh? Well it’s good you’re making new friends. Maybe he’ll be good for you.” Jimin smiled, patting your head as you tried to swat it, “Friends always come into your life when you need them the most.”

You didn’t comment on that, choosing to drink your hot chocolate as you glanced at the TV. Maybe he was right, maybe he was wrong. You didn’t know, but you needed to be careful around Namjoon. If anything you knew that as sure as day.

You kept mainly in your thoughts the rest of the evening but Jimin kept you company the whole time, stroking your hair calmly while watching kdramas together. For the first time, you fell asleep easier tonight then you had in the last eight months.

——

You sharply inhaled as you clenched your fists, you were going to do this…! You could do this. You glanced up at the art museum in determination before stepping up the stone stairs towards the entrance doors. It was crowded today and usually you liked shying away from large crowds. But he never cared, always tugging you along with encouragement and laughter, somehow, he always made it so much fun.

Today a Degas exhibit was in town, the one Taehyung had been so excited about seeing, you still vividly remembered his bouncing figure as he shoved the flyer in your face. Your hands trembled as you opened the door. You wanted to see it today, for him. Clutching the Polaroid camera in hand tightly as your fingers traced against its smooth surface. He loved using this damn thing every chance he got.

He’d take at least a dozen photos of all the art pieces, even going as far as to shove the camera in your hands to pose in that dumb artsy way he always did. You felt the distinct smile tug on your lips imaging that brown burette on his head and those dark raven locks. Boxy smile reflecting back at you as he grabbed your hand tugging you along while spouting off random knowledge about whatever you were looking at.

You paused for a second, looking beside you as you felt a well in your throat at the sight of the crowd instead of your someone beside you. Closing your eyes you swallowed thickly as you forced yourself to breathe, trying to compose yourself.

With determination you walked up to the counter, purchasing a ticket to the exhibit before making your way down the massive lobby, artwork displayed on either sides of the walls and your shoes echoing against the smooth glossy floor. The exhibit was packed as expected but you stopped at each painting, letting your eyes draw over the dreamy muted yet colorful painting.

The Dancer On Pointe was the one Taehyung was looking forward to the most. Ignoring the ‘No Pictures’ sign you lifted up the polaroid camera, clicking it as the photo began to develop. Giving the photo a wave you smiled as you glanced at it. This was perfect.

Putting the camera and photo into your bag you made your way through the exhibit.

You looked at every painting intensively, hoping maybe the lense of your old lover would bless your vision and you’d be able to see it in the way he once showed you every single time. But to no avail, paintings were just paint, colors were just pigment. The magic was no longer there. Sighing you turned away from the paintings displayed beautifully, intending to leave before you smacked into someone, “Ah!”

“Oh I’m sorry!” The voice which had become all too familiar grabbed ahold of you to steady you as you glanced up to meet the eyes of Kim Namjoon, round specs between you and his gaze as he pushed them up against his nose, lips parting before twisting into a brilliant smile, “Y/n! Sorry I didn’t see you there!”

“O-oh...Hey.” You stepped away from him awkwardly, your gaze lowering as you tugged on a strand of hair, your heart beating faster but you could hardly tell if it was from anxiety or something else. You had been…you didn’t want to say you had been avoiding Namjoon but, he made you feel weird. In a way you weren’t sure you liked and you couldn’t even fully describe it.

“I didn’t know you liked going to the art museum! It’s nice seeing you here, I’ve missed you at work-” Namjoon suddenly coughed, immediately glancing away as he fumbled, “Not-uh- not miss, miss you but...you know…” He looked awkward and his eyes widened as he refused to look at you as if you’d turn him to stone if he did.

You snorted, unable to keep the smile off your face as you replied lowly, “No I get it, just bad timing,” Or you purposely scrambled into the back leaving Jungkook on his own everytime you caught sight of Namjoon opening the cafe door, “But uh, I’m...not actually a fan of going here.” You shrugged as you glanced down at your feet.

“Oh?” He tilted his head in curiosity, “Then...can I ask why you’re here? Or did you just wanna bump into me?” There was something...light -playful- in Namjoon’s voice as he flashed those dimples at you.

You kept your expression reserved this time making his smile dim a little as you glanced back at the painting, “I just came...for someone who couldn’t…” Your expression casted more gloomy this time as you wrapped your arms around yourself, looking back at Namjoon who seemed somewhat confused at your cryptic words, “I’ve never been a big art person.” You offered a weak smile.

“Well,” Namjoon hummed, giving you a small smile in return, “I hope that someone was able to enjoy your visit for them.” Your heart clenched as you glanced at his shoes, timberlands that blurred in your vision as you gave a bittersweet smile.

“Yeah…” You nodded as you glanced up at Namjoon, a frown immediately on his face at your glassy eyes and sad smile as you nodded, “He did.” You hadn’t even said his name and yet sadness had swept through your whole body like an ache you’d never cure. The longing you had for your soulmate who was gone, who you’d never wake up beside, who would never hold your hand again, who’s smile you’d never see as he pointed out all of his favorite paintings.

But Taehyung would be proud of you, wouldn’t he? Perhaps, if there was an afterlife, he would be an angel that was smiling while looking down upon you.

“Y/n…” You felt your lurch in your throat, as if it felt physically difficult to speak as Namjoon called your name softly, tufts of warm brown hair falling against his eyebrows as he asked with sincerity, “Do you wanna get lunch together? I know a great artisan cafe nearby.”

It was silent between you both for what felt like an eternity in nothing but a short second as you glanced back at the painting, and for a brief moment your eyes caught onto a sight of raven shaggy hair and an oversized brown cardigan. It looked all too familiar and your heart fluttered for just a brief moment until he turned around, not the face of your lover, but a stranger who embraced his girlfriend with a laugh.

Sighing, you turned to face Namjoon as you offered a weak smile, “No thank you, I actually have somewhere I’m supposed to be.” You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer, rather you chose to step aside and brush past him, feeling a melancholy gaze against your back but you refused to turn around.

Not when your heart ached and you felt so tired.

Stopping by the quaint little flowershop you had picked out a small bouquet of tiger lilies, his favorite, he used to love decorating the apartment to the brim with them, walking out of the shop you took a shaky breath of the cool air.

The evening sky was brilliant, Taehyung often remarked it was like God personally painted the sky every evening, always different from the previous day but just as beautiful in it’s own right. Your feet felt heavy on the pavement as you sighed, stopping at the arched gateway, glancing to your right where the sunset was shielded by the silhouettes of willow tree’s that gently swayed in a slow dance with the wind.

Stepping through you weave your way around the grassy corridors of walkways before you were near the middle of the cemetery, pausing in front of the gravestone where wilted flowers laid and dirt from the lawn mower had sputtered up against.

Kneeling down you gently wiped off the stone as your fingers gently traced the name of your lover, “I went to the art museum today,” Your eyes were already blurry as you smiled endearingly at Taehyung’s name printed on the stone, setting down the blossom of tiger lilies as you crossed your legs, “To go see that Degas exhibit we had made plans to see last Autumn. Ha…” You let out a short laugh as tears trickled down your face, “Do you remember when we got the catalogue in the mail? You knocked over your mug of coffee and it stained over half the pages,” You tried to keep your voice steady as a sob escaped you, rubbing your eyes as you gave a broken laugh, “You freaked out about it because it was hard to make out the dates but I told you to calm down and looked up the dates on the website.”

You wiped your face with your arms as you opened your bag up, grabbing the polaroid as more tears immediately dripped down your cheeks, “Here! Don’t you like it?” You asked as you set down the photo with the flowers, smiling despite the tears that welled in your eyes, “I know it’s your favorite, you wouldn’t stop gushing about it when you first saw the exhibit advertisement.”

It was quiet for a moment as you lowered your gaze, a whimper escaping you at the expected silence, tears dripping down your chin and splattering onto your hand as you sobbed, “Please come back.”

Your breath was trembling and desperate as you grabbed the gravestone, pressing your forehead against it as you tried to vividly imagine it was your lovers warm skin as your tears dampened the stone, “Please come back to me Taehyung. Don’t leave me alone. Please.”

Alone, you cried in the cemetery where your lover would permanently stay asleep.

“Just think about it Noona!” Jungkook whined as he grabbed your arm making you sigh as you turned to face him, “It’s a camping trip! We’ll be in nature, maybe you’ll feel better! I get worried about you sometimes.”

That wasn’t fair!

You crossed your arms as you sighed again, looking away from him as you felt guilty, not wanting to worry anyone but, you just needed time to yourself. You didn’t know when it would go away, if ever, but you just wanted to be by yourself. Alone were you could mourn in peace, where your heart could ache and tears could fill your eyes with zero shame.

Everyday that you spent ever since had become more and more painful. The ache became that much harder to deal, “Jungkook...you know I don’t like camping…” You mumbled as you turned away from him, rearranging some of the tea canisters to look busy.

“But you love gardening!” Jungkook whined again, fluttering beside you with those sweet doe eyes of his that always seemed to get you.

“There’ll be a log cabin,” Yoongi added as he appeared from the kitchen, setting down a fresh platter of bakery goods, “So it really isn’t camping, unless you’re gonna be Jungkook and set up a tent anyways.”

Jungkook flailed his hands as he glared at his elder, “What’s the point in calling it a camping trip if we aren’t going to camp?” Always the stubborn and hardheaded person he was, Jungkook insisted on his words as he crossed his arms with that pouty expression of his.

“Nobody called it a camping trip except you.” Yoongi turned to face him deadpan, Jungkook’s lips parted several times before defeatingly closing them as Yoongi snorted, “Yeah, exactly. Anyways, you should go. Shop is going to be closed anyways since Bang is going out of town to visit his parents. Unless you really wanna sulk in your apartment all week…” He shrugged as you sharply inhaled.

“I’ll think about it…” Jungkook immediately jumped, wrapping his arms around you as he smushed you against him making you squirm, “Thank you Noona! You’ll camp with me right?” He bounced in excitement as you pushed him away from you. Jungkook always had a lack of boundaries especially when he got excited.

“No.” You replied promptly as you turned around making him cross his arms with a humph, “Be happy I’m at least considering, you ungrateful brat.” To which Jungkook smiled cheekily. Sighing you leaned against the counter top with a hum. Maybe this would be good for you. You knew if Taehyung was here he’d be thrilled to go, immediately begging you to go with him and even saying he refused to go without you. You could never deprive him of something he loved and enjoyed.

Maybe...just maybe…

The doors just as always at twelve thirty rang as you all glanced up to see the embodiment of the sun wave and his moon beside him who was always more reserved, “Hey! You guys are going on the trip up to the cabin right?” Hoseok bounced up to the register as he set his hands up on it and leaned forward.

“Yes and we’re camping!” Jungkook wrapped an arm around your neck, squeezing it causing you to gag as you jammed your elbow into his stomach causing him to grunt before whining.

“No we are not!” You whipped around as you glared at him, your lips tugging into a pout of your own as you glared at the younger boy who stubbornly crossed his arms once more.

“Oh you’re going Y/n?” Hoseok clapped his hands in excitement as you glanced at the two men, instinctively lowering your gaze a little when you felt Namjoon’s eyes on you. They seemed sadder than normal.

Which wasn’t normal at all. Namjoon was- he always smiled, so why didn’t he today when your eyes met his?

“I might,” You admitted reluctantly, “I need to think it over.” Was he still thinking about your rejection at the art museum? Or your cryptic and weird words? Did he assume you were just a sad freak. A part of you desperately wondered why you didn’t see those sweet dimples today.

“Well don’t take too long,” Hoseok winked playfully as he grinned brightly, “We’re leaving Friday and we sure could use the company. Right Namjoon?” He elbowed the quiet man a little causing him to jolt before harshly glaring at Hoseok who seemed like a little boy who had a secret he was dying to tell.

Namjoon glanced back at you as he mustered a weak smile, but you could see in his eyes they weren’t glowing like they were before, “Of course we’d like you to come. But don’t feel pressured.” You nodded as you glanced back at the counter top. Unable to bear his gaze anymore. Trying not to overthink why he seemed so melancholy today.

Or perhaps he was always like this and your head had just played tricks on you? No...No you could remember Namjoon’s smile as clear as day, it was bright and lovely, his eyes glowed not like the sun- not burning and harsh- but like the moon, soft and almost nostalgic as if he lived every moment of his life with gratitude and peace.

So what happened? The only thing you could recall was what had previously happened. But surely he wasn’t upset about that? After all, he shouldn’t want to deal with a heartbroken girl who only knew how to cry.

Unless....No…”Well I better go get more chocolate bombs for the holder.” You mumbled as you turned around, pushing the door to the back open as you shoved your thoughts to the back of your head. You wouldn’t let your mind go there.

----

You couldn’t help but feel like this was a mistake, no matter how crisp and fresh the air was, the lake view was gorgeous and reflection off the water made it look like diamonds trickled against its surface. The car ride was over four hours and you were grateful to be on your feet with all the greenery.

You were definitely tired, not used to being around people so long outside of work after the past year. Feeling semi lethargic you let out a yawn as you rubbed your eyes, “Aren’t you excited Noona?” Jungkook curled his fists, his nose scrunched up like a bunny as he grinned like a child, “I told you it would be pretty here!”

You were tired, definitely, but you mustered a smile, a small one as you replied, “Yeah...it is.” You glanced back out over the lake before fixing your bag over your shoulder. Like Jungkook said, this would be good for you...hopefully...The cabin was fairly big and everyone, even you helped pitched in the rent for it for the next two days. Jimin was excited for you, telling you to try and enjoy yourself and if all else failed he’d come and pick you up.

You would certainly try your best to not let that happen though, of course Jimin would be willing to drive eight hours for you on a work day. Everyone was still outside, you could hear shouts and laughter, water splashing as you stepped inside the cabin.

It was warm and cozy, buried in neutrals and warm colors, blankets piled on the couch that sat in front of the fireplace. Walking around you examined each room before smiling a little, choosing the one that had a lake view, Taehyung would certainly love it. Pulling the polaroid camera out of your bag you lifted it up before taking a photo of the window. You’d make sure to bring it to show him when you came back home.

“I didn’t take you for polaroids.”

You jumped as your gaze snapped to the person who seemed to become all too familiar with you the past month now. Pulling the photograph out of the dispenser you gave it a little wave as silence sat between you both, “I’m not.” You mumbled as you carefully set the camera back in your bag, your thumbs edging the sharp stiff ends of the photo.

“Y/n,” You didn’t look up at him despite his voice sounding soft, feet gently padding against the floor and he was surely right behind you now, Namjoon’s voice soft, maybe even a little sad as he murmured, “Why do you always seem so sad when I ask?”

Letting your fingers trace against the photocard you let a small melancholy smile tug on your lips, “Because,” Your eyes blurred a little and your throat felt tight as you mumbled, “These things I do, going to art museums, taking polaroids, I do them because,” You turned to face Namjoon as a tear slid down your cheek, “He loved it. Even if I never did. I do it for him..”

Namjoon’s expression had hardened a little, he seemed lost, maybe even angry, maybe he was tired of constantly seeing tears in your eyes, he bowed his head a little, eyes seeming somewhat broody as he muttered, “I see…I’ll leave you to it, I guess…”

You weren’t sure why your heart clenched at the way his face seemed so forlorn, broody as he turned on his heels. Your throat squeezing and his name never reached your lips like you instinctively wanted too.

You thought that, maybe when he left you’d feel better, more at peace. But that broody expression haunted you as you sat up in the window seal loft, letting your knee’s curl against your chest as a dull ache came from your heart.

This ache was different, it wasn’t like the one you had anytime you thought of your soulmate. This was...different. New. Like something was wilted but still had a chance. Your chest felt heavy and your mind was telling you to go after Namjoon, to get him to smile and clear up whatever misunderstanding there was. You didn’t understand either, truthfully, what did you say to make him look like that?

You had opened yourself up and told him a little and he...he acted gloomy, as if life was sucked from his body. You didn’t understand but...but you’d like too...Watching everyone splash and muffled screams from the window you let your head press against the glass as you sighed. Closing your eyes, even in the crowdest places you always felt so lonely.

-----

It was a full moon out tonight, glossy and incandescent to anything you had ever seen. Oftentimes when you felt lonely Taehyung used to always tell you, ‘Just look at the moon whenever you feel lonely. Someone at that exact moment is looking at it as well. You’re never truly alone’

It always made you feel better, even now. Someone was probably looking at this same moon as you right now and you couldn’t help but wonder. What were they thinking? Was there a reason they were admiring such a beautiful sight as the sky? Carefully you slipped on your shoes, curling the cardigan around your body as you opened the main door of the cabin before walking outside.

Grassing brushing softly against your feet and crickets cooed with the rustle of trees and cool air, it was a little humid out but not hot enough to make you want to shed your cozy layer. Walking down the path you glanced up at the sky were the stars speckled across the deep midnight blue horizon.

You paused on your walk when you noticed a little wooden bridge, it wasn’t the cute sight itself but the person who stood on it, “Namjoon?” You called out softly to the man who was leaning over the railing, observing the moon that sat in the painted sky. He jolted before whipping around as you approached slowly.

“Y/n…?” He seemed surprised, of course he was, it was only two in the morning after all. You were supposed to be the only one out here right here, trying to clear your head, let go of what your heart didn’t want too.

Wrapping your arms around yourself you stepped onto the bridge as you murmured softly, “May I join you?” It was hard making out his facial expressions in the moonlight, but you thought maybe you saw hesitation on his face for a brief moment.

“Of course,” Even in the dark you could spot those pretty dimples, leaning back against the railing he hummed, “You’re always a pleasant company to have.” For some reason, his words took you off guard. They seemed...sincere, yet, distant perhaps? They seemed odd given the last time you had spoken.

You let your arms rest against the railing beside him, crickets sounding and the water gently lapped, even in the dark though the moonlight reflected against the water making it sparkle with assorted gems. It was quiet between you both yet the pressure in your chest swelled, the sudden need to apologize for earlier today. You weren’t sure why it felt imperative to do so. Or as if it was even necessary.

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong earlier-” “I’m sorry about what I said earlier-”

It seemed you were not the only one to have an apology on your mind. Both you and Namjoon had bursted at the same time before pausing, tripping over one anothers words before you stopped altogether. Glancing at him briefly before you both began to laugh softly.

“I’m sorry- uh you can go first!” You squeaked, glancing away from him as you looked back out over the water, letting your body lean against the old wooden grooves that scraped lightly against your skin.

Namjoon was silent for a moment before he replied, somewhat quiet, maybe even shy? “Well…” He drawled, “I just...wanted to apologize about earlier. My words were unnecessary and I shouldn’t have asked you such a personal question. You have every right to feel the way you do and it wasn’t my place to ask something like that.”

It was silent for another moment before you let your eyes flit to Namjoon’s figure, you could make out the silhouette of his face which seemed almost forlorn, in deep thought as he looked out over the moon, “Oh…” You mumbled, as you glanced back at your hands, fingers tracing the dry harsh groove of the wooden railing, “Well...I just wanted to say I’m sorry for…” You paused for a moment, what were you apologising for? “...being me I guess.”

You didn’t mean for it to sound depressing, but you supposed it was the truth, you felt like you had become nothing but a shell of a person since what had happened. Like you had become closed off, difficult to get to know, moody, temperamental. It was no wonder Namjoon was so fed up with your constant switch in behavior, “I know I’m...me...but...thank you for tolerating it. It’s nice having someone outside of my friends to talk to.”

“Don’t apologize for that.” Your gaze jumped to Namjoon, a little startled at how stern his voice was, you couldn’t necessarily see him but you could feel his sharp, judgmental gaze on your figure, “I’m sure you have your reasons. And truthfully, like I said. I just… had clouded judgment,” Namjoon murmured cryptically, “I let my emotions get in the way when I talked to you earlier today. I’m more than happy to be your friend Y/n! You aren’t a burden or something I’m just tolerating, I talk to you because I like you.”

You felt better but....something still felt withered inside you...you mustered a smile as you shrugged, “I guess so...I know I’m not always responsive sometimes...but...if we’re okay then let’s not talk about what happened anymore! What are you doing out here so late?” You didn’t want to dwell on what happened, it made you feel icky and gross inside even after clearing things up with Namjoon, you still didn’t understand why it wouldn’t go away.

Namjoon laughed a little as he shrugged, “To think, I’ve always been a bit of a moon child honestly. Looking up at the sky always helps me clear my head. I should be asking you what you’re doing out this late.”

You rubbed the back of your neck bashfully as you shrugged, “I couldn’t sleep tonight, I like going out on walks, get out of my room, my head.” You glanced down at the rippling water, a frown on your face as you held in a sigh. Truthfully, you couldn’t sleep because Namjoon’s expression kept playing in your head. The way he seemed so distant and cold earlier, it bothered you to no end yet you didn’t understand why.

So you came out here to look at the moon in the open, feel the warm air on your skin and maybe you’d find whatever you were looking for. It seemed, what you had been looking for was Namjoon, and of course there he was, on this bridge. You didn’t know what this meant or what to take away from it. But you were happy you found him regardless.

“I can understand that,” Namjoon chuckled softly, his expression soft as he glanced up at the night sky, gaze still somewhat muted compared to before but...it still seemed sad, maybe the kind of sad where you just accept a situation for what it was, “Well, at least the moon brought us together.”

His gaze met yours as you mirrored his smile, a little bashful as you rubbed your cheek, looking out over the rippling water as you mumbled, “I guess it did…” Letting your chin rest against your arms as you stretched out your back. There was something… oddly comforting about Namjoon’s presence? You weren’t sure, but you liked it…

You really liked it.

“Have you ever considered that Plato was just on drugs the whole time he was writing?” You slurped on your noodles as you glanced up to meet Namjoon’s exasperated expression making you smile as you snorted.

“Dualism?”

“Drugs. Who the fuck thinks about the mind and body being seperated in like 11 AD?” You snorted again as Namjoon groaned, sinking into his seat. He had been trying to talk about his latest readings to you and you had been...not making fun of it! Just...making the conversation interesting, “No seriously, didn’t they burn women back then for just knowing how to read? It just seems so...primitive for philosophy to be introduced so early in time with all things considering back then….”

Namjoon rubbed his face as he sighed, unable to resist the smile that tugged on his lips as he clacked his tongue, “Alright fair enough, what do you suggest we talk about then if you refuse to talk philosophy.”

You puckered your lips, holding your chopsticks animately as you replied, “We could talk about how corrupt the patriarchy was throughout time and how men used religion as a way to justify the oppression of women and slavery?”

You snorted at the way Namjoon, for the first time in your friendship seemed speechless, perhaps impressed, or simply just stunned before he sighed with a shrug, “Alright fine, but first of all some women actually did have some say in different cultures. But it had a lot more to do with classism then gender. Take a look at the Spartans as examples.”

You held up a finger as you replied, “Except the only reason women received burials was because they gave birth to Spartans? I mean A for effort I guess,” You rolled your eyes, “But that doesn’t change the fact that women were only honored for giving birth to men, still seems like a convoluted way of saying women weren’t worth even burials unless they were of some use to men.”

Namjoon hummed as he rubbed his chin, “Fair point, really I think because-”

“Well look who it is!”

Both you and Namjoon jumped at the sound of a chipper loud voice, your lips twisted into a mild frown at the sight of Jungkook and Hoseok’s shit eating grins, without invitation immediately plopping down in the booth, Jungkook sitting beside you and Hoseok mirroring him, “So what are you two doing on this fine day?”

There was something in Jungkook’s tone that made you shift awkwardly, why did he sound like you both were up to something when you weren’t, rubbing the back of your neck you mumbled, somewhat reluctantly, “Well we were just having lunch…?”

“Oh, you mean like-” Hoseok suddenly grunted in pain, Namjoon harshly elbowing him as he cut his eyes at his best friend. You glanced between the both of them, it seemed like they were having a conversation by only facial expressions before Namjoon spoke up, “We were just talking about the oppression of women through history. Thoughts?”

Both Hoseok and Jungkook wrinkled their noses, never ones to get involved in these kinds of discussions no matter how true they may be. Rather than talk about that, it seemed they had come over to, what? Stir the pot?

“Nah,” Jungkook attempted to wrap an arm around your neck as you shoved him away, a grin on his face as he hummed, “I just haven’t seen Noona getting out as of late, it’s good to see you both together.” Now you were feeling weird. Rubbing the back of your neck you looked away from all of them, well aware of your expression becoming flatter by the moment.

Namjoon was beginning to look apprehensive as well as he coughed, “Uh, well, we were just eating…?” He seemed somewhat sheepish and even if it was unsaid you could tell he was trying to make it clear this wasn’t a date...Right? You had paused mentally for a moment, but...this did kind of seem like a date…

No, friends could hang out! You nodded to yourself silently, Namjoon was a friend and you needed friends, and in order to make friends you had to hang out! And even so, it wasn’t like Namjoon was interested in you and...you...you....a lump in your throat formed as you pucker your lips on your cup. No you weren’t gonna go there.

“Right…!” Hoseok gave a bright yet odd smile as him and Jungkook shared a laugh, as if they knew something you didn’t, “Well, we’ll just ah...let you two get back to it.” He winked as Jungkook wiggled a brow at you before they both got up.

You felt confusion wash over you as you watched them both walk away, frowning a little as you sank back in your seat, “That was weird.” Were the first words that tumbled out of your lips. On one hand you wanted to ask why they were acting like that but...wasn’t it obvious…?

Namjoon offered a weak smile as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah…” His reply was hardly a murmur though as he looked down at his pork bulgogi looking not nearly as hungry as he proclaimed he was twenty minutes ago.

The rest of your lunch had become...stale...no matter how hard you or Namjoon tried the air of what had happened with Hoseok and Jungkook lingered and continued to pester the back of your head. What were they trying to insinuate? That it was a date? Because it wasn’t…! You weren’t…! You could feel frustration tug inside your subconscious but you didn’t understand why.

Namjoon and you were currently walking on the sidewalk, namely back to your apartment which just so happened to be on the same path as one of Namjoon’s acqtuance’s house where he had promised he would help them study. The weather was nice today, the wind was blowing a cool breeze and the sun was warm on your skin. On harder days you often tried to sunbathe, to soak in it’s rays and feel it’s warmth. You had read somewhere that if you soaked up enough warmth that it would manifest into positivity.

Or maybe that was just something you made up to make yourself feel better? On dimmer days you like grounding yourself in your five senses, even if they seemed dull and void. Today was not a bad day though. Not for the weather and neither for you. In fact, it was perfect. The air was fresh and you could smell the lavender bushes on the sidewalk that had been planted waft with each blow of breeze.

“I’m really sorry for what happened.” You opened your eyes as you paused, looking at Namjoon who walked beside you, his cheeks looked a little red and he wouldn’t meet your gaze as you tilted your head, unsure of what there was to be sorry for. His gaze flicked to yours, seeing your confusion before immediately following up, “About Hoseok and Jungkook...ah…” He gave a somewhat weak smile as he looked away, hesitation in his eyes, “It feels like they made things weird…”

“No..!” You immediately shook your head, not wanting to make him feel worse by admitting they really did make you feel odd, but you were positive that was your own self projection, after all you had that tendency with Namjoon since you first met… “It’s fine, you don’t need to apologize.” You offered a soft smile as you began to walk again, Namjoon following along said to you as you continued, “It was weird yeah, but, I mean we’re still friends so…” Pausing in front of the entrance of your apartment complex you shrugged as you smiled, “Don’t worry about it! They’re just being dumb. Anyways, i’ll see you later.”

You offered one last smile before heading into your apartment, Namjoon deflating somewhat as he sighed, watching you walk away once again as he rubbed the back of his neck, kicking a small pebble that had surfaced from the pebble surface of the resident sign, “Yeah...friends…”

Namjoon decided to not linger on your words, the more he thought about it the more it stung and he didn’t want to act like a kicked puppy, you didn’t owe him anything other then your friendship he just...He sighed as he began walking to his friends home, surely he’d give good advice. After all, Seokjin was highly popular with women.

After arriving at his apartment Namjoon hadn’t intended on letting out as much as he did, but it was admittedly nice to unload all of his feelings without feeling obligated to hold back, if he told his best friend he knew Hoseok would only make things worse despite having good intentions.

“So,” Seokjin plopped the sucker into his mouth, leaning back on the bed as his eyes glazed over the textbook, “You what…? Wanna bang her? What’s the deal?”

“No!” Namjoon immediately objected before groaning as he sank back in his seat, unsure of how to explain, “I don’t just want to sleep with her…” He muttered, “I just...want to get to know her. But it feels like there's this…” He waved his hand around, “Invisible wall, like she doesn’t want me to get to know her. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to make her like this though…” He paused a moment, evaluating all of his past actions. Namjoon was positive he was a nice guy, you owed him nothing but, he had hoped maybe at least his behavior would explain why you were like this yet...He genuinely couldn’t think of anything.

Well except maybe back last month at the cabin when he had gotten cold, the memory made him wince but...you had been even worse before then...So what was it…? Namjoon felt helpless as he glanced at his elder who shrugged loosely, pulling the sucker from his mouth as he replied, “Maybe it’s just her Namjoon. Regardless she doesn’t sound interested so you shouldn’t get your hopes up.”

Namjoon paused, could it just be you…? He never actually thought about it before, always assuming he was the problem. Not that you were the problem but, “I just wish things weren’t so easy to become awkward between us.” He sighed as he flipped the page of his book.

Seokjin eyed him curiously as he hummed, “Well what do you mean? Awkward how?” Seokjin didn’t consider himself a playboy like many would dub him but he had definitely gotten around enough to at least get an idea of how women worked emotionally, when to pursue and when to back off.

Namjoon shrugged as he replied, “It’s just...weird...I can tell she starts overthinking and questioning. Like it’s difficult for her to even go out for just lunch with me. Awkward like, just the idea of being on a date with me makes her wanna bail...that kind of awkward…” He slumped in his seat, “Am I really that unlikeable?”

Seokjin snorted, curving a brow at his friend who looked rather pathetic at the moment, “I think,” Tapping his lip Seokjin hummed, “She has some stuff she’s sorting out, and it’s not you. It’s just her, I’m sure if you asked her that, she’d say the same. If you haven’t been an ass to her in any way shape or form, it sounds like she’s just working through some stuff. Sucks but hey, you won’t know if you don’t ask…”

Namjoon groaned, he knew Seokjin was right, if he’d just got the balls and asked you he was positive you’d give him an answer...well- doubt filled his mind, “I think her last boyfriend left her, or...maybe he hurt her? I don’t know.”

This perked Seokjin’s attention, straightening a little as he curved a brow, “Oh?”

Rubbing his neck he shrugged as he weakly replied, “Yeah, she mentions some guy sometimes, whenever I ask about the things she does which she doesn’t enjoy. Like that polaroid she carries around, or she sometimes goes out to museums. I don’t know.” Jealousy oozed despite Namjoon knowing he had no right to feel jealous.

Just the idea of someone hurting you deeply upset and angered him though, especially if it was to the point of you closing your heart to anyone else, Seokjin pressed his lips together, “Huh...that is kind of weird. Well…” Seokjin rose a brow as he emphasised his words while glaring Namjoon down, “Guess you’ll never know if you don’t ask.” Namjoon could only muster a groan. Asking you had to be the worst idea ever.

----

“Come on! Noona it’ll be a fun way for you to get out!” You sighed in exasperation, looking away from Jungkook’s big puppy eyes that were just begging you to go with him, it was already hard enough to get yourself out of bed by noon today just to meet up with him for lunch let alone going to a party tonight.

“Jungkook,” You pressed your lips together, trying to look at him only for him to whine as he shifted in his seat, the food court in the mall was packed today with life and energy, you had promised Jungkook you’d help him shop for more dressy clothes today as he was...attempting to pursue someone. Whoever that may be as he was too shy to say, “You know I’m not into parties…”

“Just this once!” Jungkook begged as he laced his fingers together, sitting up in his seat with his lips jutted into a pitiful pout, “I’ll stay with you the whole time Noona! I think it’ll be fun! And if it isn’t we can go home the moment you say and- and I’ll buy you some kimbap and we can watch a movie of your choice!”

He drove a hard bargain, you sighed as you sunk into your seat, crossing your arms in thought, you supposed...there couldn’t be any harm in going…? You pressed your lips together as you closed your eyes briefly, just thinking about this made you exhausted but you knew Jimin would be ecstatic if you had went out tonight, he had been encouraging you to get out more and….”Okay let’s say, I went to this party...who would be there?”

Jungkook’s lips parted in excitement as you cut him off, “That I know.”

His lips immediately snapped shut once more, as his eyes dropped to the table somewhat sheepishly, “Look, Noona...Think of it like this, it’s a great opportunity to meet new people! Hoseok and Namjoon will be there! You know them! And they know people you could meet too! I’ll be there for what it’s worse…” He gave a bright bunny smile as you looked away from him, “Hey! Don’t give me that look!” He cried out with another pout on his face.

Taehyung and you both never enjoyed parties, he was a social butterfly sure but he always said he hated the taste of alcohol and besides, what was the point in going out when he could just stay in with you. It felt like a bitter prick against your heart at the bitter reminder. Right, you were gonna stay in tonight, maybe cry in the shower, wear that set of pajamas that used to match with his while watching a stupid romcom he loved.

“Woah, woah, woah! Hey Y/n.”

You closed your eyes as you put your hands on your face trying to cover the tears that rolled down your cheeks, “Sorry.” You sniffed as you felt both shame and embarrassment coil inside your body, all this time and you can hardly even think about him without crying still. It’s no wonder Jungkook probably doesn’t want to hang out with you.

“Noona!” Jungkook cried out, “You have nothing to apologize for, look,” He fumbled somewhat frantically as he gathered up the trash of your left over food, “You don’t have to go, it was just a suggestion! I don’t want you to be sad though so let’s go over to the Gap and I want your opinion on these two shirts okay?”

You sniffled as you rubbed your watery eyes, a snort escaping you as you replied, “The Gap has ugly clothing Jungkook.” To which he gasped in offense as you stood up with him.

“First of all don’t judge until you see, second of all you have horrible taste Noona, no offense.” You rolled your eyes despite the tiny smile tugging on your lips as you wrapped your arms around yourself. Maybe, Jungkook was right, and after all…he said he’d take you home if you weren’t having fun...

This was an awful idea. There was no backing out of this idea once you expressed your interest to Jungkook and he dragged you from store to store because this outing was no longer about him as it was finding something new for you to wear, he had even insisted on paying for it himself.

Jungkook was no longer in sight nor on your mind as he had been talking to Hoseok last you had seen him, who was cheerifully talking to him despite the shy look on his face. Of course he had gotten your permission, not wanting to leave you by yourself, just as he promised he wouldn’t. For as much of annoying brat as he was, he was also truly a sweetheart.

“Are you okay?” Your concern however, wasn’t on Jungkook right now given you were no longer downstairs as you paused and turned towards Namjoon who looked like he was having a mid life crisis despite being twenty four and at a frat party- but you supposed being younger than twenty one at something like this could cause that.

Namjoon’s eyes darted at the closed door and his mouth felt dry, opting to nod instead as you sat down on the bed. Truthfully you had made the pack to just stick to Jungkook tonight and let him do the talking but it was by chance you bumped into Namjoon here who had also been dragged to this party by his friend- Seokjin who was apparently a frat brother at this fraternity.

It was loud and the whole place reeked of weed, whoever wasn’t locked in a haze was definitely drunk and it had been over all unpleasant.

The one saving grace you had found was Namjoon, it was too loud downstairs and with Jungkook off with Hoseok you kept getting interrupted by other people asking for him. Finally asking if Namjoon would like to go upstairs where it would be more quiet.

And here you were, “It’s nice up here.” You glanced around the semi clean room, “At least it smells like Axe.” Which wasn’t much better than marijuana but you’d take it.

Namjoon snorted as he plopped down on the bed, a humored smile on his lips as he replied, “Yeah it just smells like a middle school boys locker room.” He laid back against the bed as he stretched out, closing his eyes as he soaked in the atmosphere, today felt...different...he wasn’t sure how but, he liked it.

You seemed happy today, or at least you looked happy. And you were smiling more at work. Namjoon really liked your smile, “Hey,” He hummed as he opened his eyes and glanced at your upright figure, “Why did you come tonight? I thought you didn’t like parties?”

You gave a somewhat sheepish laugh as you shrugged, running a hand through your hair as you replied, “Ah well…” You seemed a little flustered as you glanced away from him- not wanting to admit that Jungkook had nearly cried from begging you to come because he really wanted you to at least try it just once, all in the name of getting yourself back out there, but the one leading motivate that he continuously brought up, was Namjoon, “Jungkook wanted someone to come with him. He gets worried about me occasionally.” You rolled your eyes briefly despite the small smile on your face, “Says he doesn’t want me to become a hermit.”

Namjoon’s expression softened a little, that was something else he never quite understood, were your friends just that caring…? It seemed a bit unnormal the way they always eyed you with concern despite you brushing them off, “It just shows he cares.” Namjoon offered a smile as you sighed, flopping down onto your back next to him as you glanced up at the ceiling.

“I know,” You admitted as your smile slowly formed into a frown, your gaze hardened at the dirty ceiling as your brows pinched together, “I just…” You inhaled sharply, sounding somewhat frustrated as you sighed, “I just wish they’d treat me normal sometimes...you know? It’s nice knowing everyone supports me but…” You felt a bitter smile curl on your lips, “I can always see the pity, like I’m just a kicked puppy that needs a little love…They all mean well but…”

“I can understand why you’d feel frustrated,” Namjoon spoke up, rolling over to face you, sincerity in his eyes as he spoke, “I wouldn’t want to be treated like that either. It’s hard being in a room full of people who all look at you like you’re broken when you aren’t.”

His words hit deeper then you wanted to admit, your throat suddenly feeling restricted as you glowered at the ceiling trying to blink back tears. Perhaps it was the realization that people do look at you like you're broken. Maybe you were, afterall, you weren’t the same anymore. You could barely hold a smile on your face anymore.

You suffered long nights full of dreams of torment and tears in your waking hour to numbness and wondering why life was even worth living. You had debated on the fall from your window and you had even wondered about the knives in the kitchen drawers. You felt your lips twitch into a bitter smile as you laughed, feeling tears drip down as you replied, “I’d think the same if I were them. I don’t even blame them.”

Namjoon sat up as he frowned, looking resentful at your words as you wiped your face, “Hey.” You sniffed a little as you sat up, wiping your tears on your sleeve, “You aren’t broken, people shouldn’t be so quick to judge.”

“You’re just saying that because you're nice.” You scoffed as you glanced down at the bed, your eyes glaring despite the blur, you fought with yourself at night on why Namjoon was even friends with you, surely he just thought you needed help. Needed friends. Why did it hurt to think of it like that? It’s what you wanted, right?

You squeaked in surprise at Namjoon’s large hands suddenly cupping your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes as you were taken back on how intense his stare was, anger evident on his face as his jaw clenched, “Don’t assume that. You aren’t broken and I don’t look at you like you need to be fixed okay?” His expression softened a little as he watched your eyes begin to blur again, your shoulders shaking as sniffled, trying your damnedest to not cry as you gritted your teeth.

Defeatedly you closed your eyes as you let your tears fall, why couldn’t you stop crying? Why was everything so confusing and why did it all have to hurt? Namjoon let his thumb rub across your cheekbone, wiping away the tears that dripped down as you closed your eyes, “I don’t care what’s happened okay? I just want to help you be happy again.”

“I don’t deserve it,” You spat out as you choked on your tears, unable to even look at him, you felt so useless, worthless, all of the life left your body with Taehyung when he- your breath escaped you, catching yourself as you nearly choked on the influx of tears. It didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore. He was gone and he wasn’t coming back.

Namjoon could feel his heart crumble with every tear that dropped down your face, his thumbs soothingly wiping every drop away, “Yes you do. Please, don’t say that about yourself.” Namjoon felt like a faucet and he couldn’t stop the overflow of emotions, unable to keep it to himself any longer when you were so obviously in pain. When you hated yourself for reasons unknown to him, “You will always be worth it to me, okay?” He pressed his forehead against yours, his smile pained as you squeezed your eyes tightly shut, “There will never be a day I don’t think that?” He said breathlessly, his eyes dulled and pained at your sobs, “Don’t cry love.” He spoke softly, closing his eyes, letting the warmth of your skin seep against his as he rubbed his thumbs over your cheeks.

“I don’t know how. I-I’m sorry....” You mumbled as you sharply sniffled, trying to calm yourself down as your heart ached. You thought for sure you had gotten better, but it became apparent you were just trying to block Taehyung out, and you couldn’t do that. He didn’t deserve it. Taehyung absolutely did not deserve to be blocked out of your memory or forgotten.

“Shhh.” Namjoon hummed soothingly, his nose rubbing against yours, his fingers tracing down your jawline, “You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Your lips trembled at the feeling of his warm breath against your skin, you could feel the hesitation from him, just a ghost of brush from his lips as you sniffled before he fully pressed his lips against yours.

The kiss was wet, not in a very pleasant way, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks as his lips began to tenderly stroke against yours, his hands so warm against your face as you sobbed against his mouth, parting your lips at the feeling of his soft lips that felt so right against yours. It was like intimacy and warmth you craved.

The kiss which was gentle quickly turned more heated, your body immediately crawling closer to his as your lips parted for him, his tongue immediately pushing past to enter your mouth as dominance was immediately one, a soft moan escaped you as long fingers trailed down your face to your neck. Your body was lighting up at the memory of those long fingers wrapped around your throat, the heat of his body against yours.

All the sleepless nights you spent together moaning in passion. Taehyung’s hands trailed down your waist, squeezing tight making you whimper as you crawled into his lap, seeking the comfort only he could bring as you let his tongue lap and force yours into submission in a sloppy wet kiss.

The knock on the door immediately made you jolt, opening your eyes only to let out a yelp. This was not Taehyung- but Namjoon. You frantically fell out of his lap, all too aware of your shocked expression and tear stained face as you wiped your mouth...You just...kissed Namjoon...The twist of betrayal in your heart wouldn’t stop stabbing as the door opened.

Namjoon’s lips had parted, looking somewhat frantic to apologize and explain himself when he saw how devastated your expression was, “Oh- uh sorry.” Seokjin looked somewhat sheepish to see the both of you, a girl peeping behind his shoulder looking somewhat embarrassed herself, “Were we um…?”

“No!” You sharply replied, getting off the bed as you felt your hands violently tremble. You just...you just kissed...you imagined...you thought…“You didn’t.” You rushed past the both of them as you the music pounded into your head and it was like the lights became blurred but not from tears anymore. All of your senses were on overload as your mind sneered at you, you just kissed someone who wasn’t Taehyung, as if he didn’t exist, it didn’t matter whether or not you thought it was him. It wasn’t. It wasn’t Taehyung, how were you ever supposed to forgive yourself?

“Y/n! Y/n!”

You didn’t stop until you were suddenly yanked back, “Y/n please,” Namjoon looked at you pleading, “I’m sorry, I overstepped my boundaries and I shouldn’t-”

“I don’t like you Namjoon.” Your heart was frantically beating out of your chest as tears began to blur in your eyes, shaking your head as you pulled from his grip, “This- it wouldn’t work. Don’t waste your time.” Your voice was ice cold despite the tears dripping down your face as you glared at him, the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable as you turned around.

Your body in shock as you closed your eyes, letting the tears slide down your cheeks. Walking downstairs you bumped into the person you were just looking for. Jungkook had first smiled upon seeing you before his expression immediately became worried, “What happened?” He was by your side instantly.

Sobbing you covered your ears, the music and lights too much as guilt ate you alive, “I wanna go home Jungkook.” You felt like a child as you wrapped your arms around yourself, Jungkook immediately wrapping an arm around you as he guided you out of the house.

How could you ever function after this…?

“Y/n please, we’re worried.” Jimin kneeled down in front of you as your body trembled, burying further into your blanket curled up on the couch as you shook your head. You couldn’t even speak about what happened without feeling the violent urge to throw up.

How could you ever do that to Taehyung? What would he think? Closing your eyes you sobbed once more as you heard Jimin demand, “What happened? What do you mean she came downstairs crying?”

Jungkook sat beside you and had refused to leave your house despite it being three in the morning, concern washed on his expression as he replied, “I don’t know! She and Namjoon went upstairs for a while and then she came back down crying and asked to come home. She wouldn’t talk the whole way home.”

Just the sound of his name sickened you, your fists curling against the blanket. You couldn’t be angry at him, after all, you had enjoyed it. You craved it. You were the one who was disgusting. Jimin rested his hands on the couch as he looked at you with a frown, “Y/n…” His heart broke at the sight of your crumpled figure buried in blankets, “Did he take advantage of you? What happened?”

“I imagined him…” You sobbed as you whispered, lips trembling at just the mental imagine in your head, looking up at them with tears welling as you confessed, “I kissed him and all I could see was Taehyung.” You buried back into the blankets as you sobbed, tears staining the warm cotton as you closed your eyes, “I miss him so fucking much. It hurts, it hurts to even breathe knowing he's dead. What’s the point in even being alive if he isn’t here with me? I’d do anything to be with him again. I can’t fucking do this anymore.”

You curled up as you squeezed your eyes shut, confessing every single thought that had built in your head, “I can’t…!” You couldn’t even register who was hugging you or who was saying what anymore, it was all a blur.

You weren’t even sure when you fell asleep.

Waking up your head was groggy and you groaned, when did you get in bed and... why was Jungkook here? Jungkook was curled up next to you, his breath in a soft rhythm as you sat up, rubbing your head as you began to recall the night before, your suddenly squeezing as you swallowed back the shame and guilt.

Stupid

Stupid.

You should’ve kept it to yourself- you were never supposed to say anything you said last night…”Hey…” You coiled away from Jungkook’s soft voice, deeper than normal as he had obviously just woke up, if he didn’t think you were a kicked puppy before he definitely does now, “Hey…:” His voice was considerably softer as he sat up, a frown on his lips as he spoke, “You don’t need to feel ashamed for last night Noona...it’s good to get that stuff out…”

Pressing your hands against your face you felt absolutely mortified as you remembered in vivid detail what happened at the party, “I kissed Namjoon,” You whispered under your breath, “And all I could see was him.” You swallowed the thick knot that squeezed in your throat as you felt Jungkook comfortingly press his hand on your shoulder.

“It’s a process Noona,” Jungkook felt his lips quiver a little, not liking seeing you in such despair, you often hid it well but overtones always lingered, it hurt seeing you like this, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” A soft knock on the door sounded through the room before it opened, Jimin poking his head in as his eyes turned sad at the way your body curled into itself.

“How are you feeling?” Jimin sat on the edge of the bed as you snorted.

“Like crap.”

You could hear them both chuckle and you even felt your lips tug into a smile briefly before they quivered back into a frown, “God, I’m sorry guys…” You felt awful, you ruined both of their nights and probably their sleep, just to listen to you cry.

They both were immediately objecting as you inhaled slowly, sinking into yourself as Jimin sighed as well, his gaze soft as he pressed his lips together, silence taking over the room before he slowly spoke, “Y/n...I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but...I think maybe, we should get you help…” You parted your lips, wanting to object but he continued, “You need help. Y/n,” His lips quivered a little, “I lost my best friend,” His eyes looked glossy as he forced a smile, “I can’t lose you too. Please, at least for a week, for me.”

You lowered your gaze as you rubbed your face, maybe it would be for the best, you were beginning to see things that weren’t there, Taehyung was everywhere you looked, you could never escape the ghost of him no matter how hard you tried, “I…” You glanced at the sheets in resignation as you sighed, “Okay…” You mumbled, “I’ll give it a try.”

Only because you didn’t want them to worry over you.

----

Namjoon couldn’t say for sure what had happened, but he knew, deep down, he had fucked up. Running a hand through his hair he groaned as he paused at the shop in front of him. He knew seeing you now was a bad idea, you’d probably go to the back room and you wouldn’t want to talk to him.

But he just…! He just needed to know why. Why couldn’t he be with you? He never meant to fall in love with you, but he loved your smile you rarely showed, or the way you’d give witty comments to every subject he’d try to be serious about. And for once, he loved being not serious. With you. Did he go too fast? Should he have waited?

Namjoon almost didn’t want to go inside, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to handle the rejection, sometimes, it doesn’t matter how long you wait, some people are just not interested. But he was so sure you were, your eyes always seemed so bright and lit up when you laughed together, or how it would soften and you’d listen intently to his worries. He just needed to know…!

Determined he opened the door to the shop where his lips immediately quirked into a frown. Jungkook had just finished serving a customer when their eyes met, a frown also on his lips as he looked away, “Jungkook…! Where is she?” Namjoon must have looked pathetic, his eyes pleading as he hurried to the counter where Jungkook shied away from him, straightening out some of the coffee canisters as he turned his back to Namjoon, “Hyung….I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He mumbled, somewhat meekly as he figidied.

Namjoon pressed his hands against the counter as his gaze hardened, “Is she not here?” Of course you weren’t here, he should’ve known you’d take the day off to avoid him. If the need to speak to you wasn’t imperative before it certainly was now, “Jungkook please, I just need to know.”

Jungkook pressed his lips together as he turned around, frowning as his big doe eyes searched his elder, unsure if you’d appreciate him spilling what had been going on. And truthfully it wasn’t his place either, Jungkook sighed as he spoke reluctantly, “It’s not you Hyung, it’s her...She knows that better than anyone. I won’t say anything because It’s not my story to tell...I’ll talk to her about it and if she says it’s okay I’ll let you know where she is. Okay?”

Namjoon could feel his lips tremble a little before lowering his head in defeat, Jungkook’s expression was serious and if this was the best he could get then he’d just have to take it, Namjoon felt pathetic and desperate but he just needed to see you. To at least know you were okay. Your expression wasn’t just shocked at the party...you looked devastated. He didn’t understand and he wanted to, he needed to so badly.

“Thanks Jungkook.” He muttered with a sigh as he rubbed the back of his head, his phone vibrated in his pocket for the fifth time, Seokjin had been blowing up his phone the whole morning, apologies and questions had been spammed and he supposed, he’d stop by the frat house and sulk.

Jungkook offered an apologetic smile as Namjoon sighed, trudging out the door in defeat as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, the frat house was a short walk from the cafe and he had spent the majority of the time trying to gather his thoughts into something comprehensible for his friend to dissect.

“You could’ve at least sent me a text!” Seokjin scolded as he opened his bedroom door letting Namjoon walk in, the bitter reminder of the same bed he had sat on not too long ago and let his emotions get the better of him. He couldn’t help himself though, he couldn’t stand watching you cry much less sob, and he had seen you in that state so many times. He just wanted to help, he wanted to make you feel better.

Seokjin frowned as he paused from his scolding at the way Namjoon dejected collapsed on his bed, walking over he searched the man’s empty expression as he sighed, “What did you do?”

“I ruined everything.” Namjoon sulked as he pressed his hands to his face, “I kissed her and she looked at me like I was a ghost. I asked Jungkook where she was but he won’t say anything.”

Seokjin hummed as he sat on the edge of the bed next to his friend, “Maybe she just needs time to sort out her feelings. I talked about it before but it’s pretty apparent now that she obviously has a lot going on, Namjoon.”

Namjoon knew that had to be the case, otherwise you’d already be apologizing when you didn’t even need too, right? You’d be trying to fix whatever that was last night, and hey, he’d rather have you as a friend then not at all. He loved talking to you, hearing your thoughts on life and the way you perceived the world.

When you first began talking, your world seemed dim, as if you filtered the world in only shades of grey. But the more you spoke and the longer things went on, the more Namjoon noticed you opened up, color began to flood into your world again in soft tones and smiles. He adored it.

“I just wish she’d let me help her.” Namjoon mumbled as he rubbed his eyes, “I hate seeing her cry, and I hate seeing her push me away, and it would be one thing if she didn’t like me, but you want to know the worst part Seokjin?”

Hurt quivered in his veins as he sat up, glaring down at the ground as he felt a bitter smile twist on his lips, “I can tell she does, why else would she want to talk to me after everything that’s happened? So why won’t she let herself just…! It’s so frustarting!”

Seokjin sighed, unable to help but feel a little bad for him, it was obvious somewhere down the line friendship and something more had become blurred, “I know man,” Seokjin consoled, “Just give it time. She’ll come around when she’s ready.

Three weeks.

That’s how long Namjoon had spent sulking, lectures he once listened to eagerly had become background noise, flavors seemed less vibrant and nothing was the same without you. By the sixteenth day mark he had almost given up, feeling despondent, he had stopped by the shop a few times only for Jungkook to shake his head in apology.

That was until today. Namjoon’s eyebrows shot up and his heartbeat felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, “Ah...well, we can go after I get off shift, if that’s okay?” Jungkook offered a small smile, happy to see his Hyung looking a little more upbeat then he had before. It was truly a sad sight not only seeing Namjoon but you look like kicked puppies the past few weeks.

“Yes! Yeah that’ll work…! Jungkook, thank you so much, you- you have no idea how much this means to me…!” Namjoon fumbled over his words, his smile bright and lit up, excited to see you again even if it was to just apologize over and over again.

Jungkook smiled a little as he shrugged, “I haven’t done anything, Noona is doing a lot better and she asked when I visited yesterday if you could come.”

Namjoon nodded taking in his information before pausing….visited? As in, at her house? He didn’t quite understand but regardless he was glad to hear you didn’t hate him, or at the very least you still wanted to talk to him. Namjoon would take almost anything you handed him now. Some may find it sad but he was desperate, for closure at least.

Sitting down on your bed you hummed, letting your fingers drag against the pages of the book you had been reading during quiet time for the past two weeks, Jimin and Jungkook visited you nearly every day for visitor hour but when you got the chance you’d try to read, like now.

Perhaps you were just trying to calm your nerves, you had asked Jungkook yesterday if you could see Namjoon...the past month had been...long...filled with tears and exhausting nights. You hated group therapy and the nurses constantly battled you when it came to any sort of physical activities. But as the weeks went on you reluctantly began to open up more, particularly during your singular therapy sessions, which helped the most.

‘Tell me Y/n, you said earlier that Taehyung was the most and loving man you ever met,’ you nodded at her words as she spoke, ‘And you have also said that you can’t allow yourself to fall in love because you’d of your fear of forgetting him.’

You looked at your lap as you didn’t comment, unable too, it felt good...to be able to just spill everything to someone who was listening objectively, your therapist wasn’t looking at you like a kicked puppy, her eyes weren’t dripping with pity, she simply was listening, ‘Yeah…’ you mumbled as you folded your hands together.

“Have you ever considered that, if Taehyung is truly as lovely as you describe him to be, that he’d genuinely want you to move on? That he would always want you to be happy? If he’s as kind as you say. Acceptance is never easy Y/n, especially when you’re grieving the love of your life.”

You hung your head as you felt your eyes water, a sniffle escaping you as she pushes the tissue box over to you as she gave a gentle smile, “But Taehyung would want you to be happy. I want us to target why you feel this guilt every time you try to open up to Namjoon,” She clicked her pen, “You’ve said in the past, you feel guilty because you feel as though Taehyung is judging you, but in reality Y/n, the only person who is judging you, is yourself. The only person who is stopping you from receiving this love, is you.”

Grabbing a tissue you wiped your eyes as you sniffled while shaking your head, unable to speak no matter how much you wanted too as she continued, “These things you’re talking about are symptoms of depression, the guilt you feel is your superego saying you don’t deserve to be loved because you would be betraying someone who is no longer here. This doesn’t make your feelings invalid, but,” She clacked her tongue, “I’d like us to work together to rein in the superego and get back to the root of your consciousness. On your own time, I’d like you to have Namjoon pay a visit and talk with him, but in the moments of doubt, when you’re mind is telling you to pull away or that you don’t deserve something, I want you to consciously and actively tell yourself that it’s okay to love again. It’s okay to move on, it’s okay to let someone else in’

‘What if I’m not ready to face him?” You sniffled, somewhat horrified at the idea of seeing Namjoon again, how could you ever face him after something so embarrassing?

‘You’ll never fully be ready to face someone Y/n,” She replied, ‘But the first step to letting go, in your case, is telling yourself, that it’s okay to be loved again. It’s okay that you’re exploring love again. The only way to accept your feelings and your loss is by moving on. Let yourself open up to Namjoon, tell him the reason your like this and it will make you feel a lot better.’

You weren’t sure if you were ready to see Namjoon but...you felt guilty, guilty for lashing out at him when he didn’t deserve anything and...your fist curled as you inhaled sharply ‘it’s okay to love again’ that’s what your therapist told you and told you to repeat to yourself anytime you were flooded with any feelings of guilt.

Leaning against the wall your fingers dragged along the line of words, trying to read but your mind wouldn’t focus. Jungkook would be here soon with Namjoon, your roommate, a young eighteen year old girl was out in the dining area with her boyfriend right now. She had been emitted by her parents due to her depression but she told you the only time she felt excitement was at six o’clock every day, knowing he’d be here.

Love really could heal, couldn’t it?

The knock on your door made you jump, the nurse Kang Min Soo opened the door, she was the one who shuffled you from activity to activity during the day, offering a small smile she said, “You have visitors Y/n.” Straightened a little you nodded as she opened the door, your heart beating wildly in your chest as your eyes first met with Jungkook who offered a gentle smile, the taller figure of Namjoon behind him, eyes curiously searching his surroundings before meeting yours.

Unable to hold his gaze you dropped it to your book, closing it as you set it on the bed, “Hey guys…” You mumbled, feeling a little shy as you shifted a little.

“I know you wanted to talk,” Jungkook hummed, looking a little brighter today then he had within the past weeks, “So I’ll give you both a few minutes. Jimin should be here in about fifteen minutes.” You nodded, murmuring a thank you as he nodded, offering a smile to the both of you before he exited, shutting the door.

It was quiet for a few seconds as you curled your knees into your chest, “...I’m really sorry…” You mumbled, feeling somewhat pathetic at being unable to even meet his gaze, Namjoon was still quiet and you weren’t sure if that was a good sign or not, “...I know I haven’t been the most transparent…”

The bed shifted a little as you glanced up meekly to see Namjoon sit down a good distance from you, looking a little careful in his expression before he suddenly blurted out, “There’s another guy...isn’t there?” He looked sullied all of a sudden, casting his expression on the ground, “You don’t have to tell me. It’s obvious you’re in love with someone else.”

“He’s dead.”

Namjoon’s gaze up shot so fast he could hardly process your words, his lips parting as he searched your broken expression, eyes watering as you laughed a little, a smile tugging on your lips as you continued, “Namjoon- I loved him, so much.” You glanced up at him sincerely as the tears trickled down your cheeks, the smile looked so bright yet so sad as you sniffed, “He was my soulmate.”

Closing your eyes you rubbed them as the wet substance stained your skin, “I’ll never forget that night. It was so stupid. Taehyung- he- he had worked overtime that day and got off shift late. Kept texting me saying how excited he was to get home and eat what I had made.” Your soft gaze became a fiery glare as you mumbled, “But by eleven he wasn’t home...and I waited...and waited...and then I began to get worried. It wasn’t until 11:30 that I got a call.”

Squeezing your eyes shut you forced a laugh, “It was an accident, a stupid fucking accident. Neither made it. The car pulled out too soon without enough time for him to stop, the car ended up flipped and they rushed him to the hospital, by the time I got there they had to rush him into surgery.”

It was quiet for a moment as tears streamed down your face, covering your sob with your mouth as you shook your head, “Three hours and I never even got to say goodbye. Jimin was against the wall in tears and I don’t even remember what the doctor told me. Just saw a glance of his body in the hospital bed before the door shut…. Sometimes I still wonder, if I had just told him to not worry about the extra hours, if he’d still be here. He would’ve listened, he’d do anything to make me happy…” Pressing your hands against your eyes you bit your lip to keep down the sob as you muttered, “But it doesn’t matter now, he’s gone…” Wiping your tears away you took a shaky breath, “I’ve been in denial, not wanting to accept reality for what it is. That he’s gone...that he’s...dead...that he isn’t coming back. When I kissed you,” You felt new tears already welling in your eyes as you lowered your head in shame, “You made me feel better, and I loved that feeling so much. But all I could imagine was him. It’s not your fault...you don’t deserve to be dragged along because of me.”

“Hey…” You covered your face as you felt arms wrap around you pulling you into a hug, you couldn’t help but crave the warmth of Namjoon, his steady heartbeat of still being alive, did it make you a sinner to crave his touch? “I...I’m so sorry Y/n, I had no idea...that was what you were going through.” He squeezed his arms around you as you curled against him, too weak to try and fight what you wanted so badly, “But I’m not going to leave you just because of this.”

Covering your eyes you tried to stifle your sob, guilt eating away at you at the idea of leading Namjoon on, he deserved to be loved by someone who could give him their all.

You couldn’t.

“Don’t cry,” Namjoon’s lips coiled endearingly, those dimples poking out as he tenderly stroked a hand through your hair soothingly, “We’ll get through this, and we can go as slow as you want. But I’m not going to leave you. Not now, not ever. Okay?”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss against your forehead as you closed your eyes, tears trickling down your face as you tried your best to push the toxic thoughts that invaded your mind away. Taehyung would want this, wouldn’t he? Right? Remembering what your therapist said you repeated the words mentally, it was okay to be loved again. It was okay to move on.

“Are you sure you really wanna try this?” You sniffed, rubbing the tears from your eyes as you looked up at him, lips quivering as you tried to smile, your mouth faltering as you choked out, “I’m a girl with a whole lot of baggage Namjoon.”

Namjoon let his hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs pushing away the tears as he gave you a soft reassuring smile, “We’ll get past this, okay? You’ll always be worth the wait.” He closed his eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours. You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, closing your eyes as you felt the small smile tug on your lips.

Maybe...maybe you could get past this.

You had spent another two weeks at the mental institute before you had felt good enough to sign yourself out and try to pick up your life where you left off, the past month had been...interesting to say the least. Namjoon, much like Jungkook and Jimin, visited you every day.

Some days were good...others were not so much...But if you learned anything in therapy was to take things a step at a time. Your therapist thought it was wonderful that you had developed feelings for Namjoon, even if it didn’t feel that way. But she had encouraged you saying that it was a sign your heart was ready to move on and heal.

“I’m so glad you’re back Noona!”

Right now however, you were trying to push Jungkook’s large figure away from you, damn why does this kid have to be so strong? Jungkook was practically like a little boy, running around in excitement when he saw you were put back on your work schedule and has since hugged you for three minutes straight when you walked in, “Jungkook we saw each other Friday.” You complained.

“Yeah but…! You were in ugly scrubs yesterday and your hair was really greasy,” Jungkook gave you a sheepish grin as you glared at him before pushing him away as he whined, “Besides! It’s your first day back at work!” He clapped his hands, “And you look a lot better! Not as tired anymore, did you sleep well?”

You sighed as you finished tying your apron, unable to stop the small smile tugging on your lips, Jungkook used to be a lot more reserved in what questions he asked, but having since visited you every day it seems those barriers have long past melted, “Yes, I’ve been sleeping a lot better, but it’s probably because of the medicine I’ve been prescribed to help.” Your smile felt a little weak, but regardless, at least you were sleeping.

And truthfully, you did feel somewhat, renewed. Like you were no longer strapped to a heavy weight and sinking to the bottom of the ocean. You weren’t sure how to describe it, but you felt lighter these days. Of course you wouldn’t deny how much your being still ached for the man you once loved. You still saw Taehyung in the colors that painted the walls, in the sea you always drove past on your way to work.

But everything seemed so far away now, as if the life you had with Taehyung was just a fuzzy dream. Sometimes late at night you wondered if it was real at all. Yesterday had been painful no doubt, when you arrived home the first thing you did was throw away all of Taehyung’s old clothes you had been keeping. Even his old favorite shirt you always wore to bed. Just the memory almost made your eyes well with tears but you contained yourself.

Clothes were just clothes, and they wouldn’t make Taehyung come back, would they?

“Well at least the medicine is helping Noona, sleep is sleep you can’t be picky.” Jungkook was buzzing in happiness before his eyes darted to the girl who was standing at the cash register ready to order, flitting over he began to take her order as you peered from behind. Snorting at the way she flirtatiously smiled and Jungkook fumbled, ears going red as he looked away and rang up her order.

You couldn’t help but smile as you began working on her flat white, “She likes you.” You stated as Jungkook leaned against the counter, crossing his arms as you began to laugh, watching the way his cheeks lit up like little tomatoes.

“So!? I’m not interested in her.” He mumbled defensively as you clacked your tongue, shaking your head as you set her coffee down at the end of the counter. Of course cupid only liked playing in your love life. As if the universe heard your thoughts the doorbell chimed as your gaze shot up. Two all too familiar figures walked in, well the other bounced in excitement, “Hey guys! It’s good to see you back Y/n! How have you been?” Hoseok practically flew to the counter in excitement. Given his words you doubt he knew what you had been up too but you appreciated the sentiment regardless, offering a small smile as you shrugged, “Just needed a break to clear my head. I’m doing good. Word is you finally bagged someone.”

Hoseok’s lips parted before he prominently closed them, his cheeks looking red before the door to the back suddenly opened, Yoongi looking around before Hoseok flailed a little, “What!? W-who told you that…?” You looked between them as you raised your brows, unable to keep the smile off your face.

“Awh, gay is okay guys. You don’t have to be shy.” You could hear Jungkook trying to cover his snort as he turned away to grab the convenient tray of pastries from Yoongi who suddenly looked perturbed and embarrassed, his ears were red as he mumbled something before quickly pushing back into the back room. Hoseok puckering his lips before he caved, a bright smile on his lips as he leaned over, “Hey…you mind if I go back there?” You snorted as you waved your hand.

“Knock yourself out. Just don’t cum all over the stove.” “Y/n!” “Sorry!”

You laughed as Hoseok sped around the counter and bolted into the backroom as you shook your head. At least some things changed for the better over the month you had been gone. Shaking your head you hummed, “Someone looks like they’re in a good mood.” His words made your lips tug into a smile as you turned to face Namjoon who had been passively watching the whole situation unfold.

“You don’t know how long I’ve watched them pine for one another,” You replied, looking down as you wiped down the counter to try and keep your gaze from meeting his, it was weird, this warm burning sensation that tickled your insides, it almost felt like butterflies, “It’s nice to see them finally admit it. So are you just here to watch the gays or are you gonna order something?” You looked up, a weird half smile quirked on your lips and you probably looked stupid.

Namjoon leaned down against the counter as he shrugged, a smile on his lips and those pretty dimples on display, “What should I get?”

These feelings, constantly repeating to yourself that they were okay, it was all so new. It was hard not to get flustered at his innocent words as you turned to look at the menu before shrugging, “Well you like tea, what about Tropic Blossom? It’s main notes are orange blossom and hibiscus so it’s naturally sweet unless you want stevia in it?” You turned back to face him only to awkwardly look away, feeling your face begin to burn at the way he was looking at you.

It wasn’t provocative or anything sensual, but his eyes were lit up in a warm glow and his lips were constantly curved upwards in a smile, “Sure, with a chocolate scone too! Hey do you think you could convince Yoongi to make blueberry scones?”

You rang up Namjoon as you snorted, curving a brow with an amused look before replying, “You could’ve got one back in spring if you had just come with Hoseok earlier. He doesn’t take requests though so no.”

“Not even for me? Come on, you could convince him.” Namjoon leaned in a little, his lips quirking into a smirk as he hummed, “Just once.” You turned away from him as you tried to ignore the way your face burned. Jungkook had a shit eating grin on his face as he minded his own business, or at least he pretended to as he began making the Tropic Blossom.

“Just once Noona?” He couldn’t help himself as he gave you patronizing puppy eyes as you glared at him before he snickered, you shoved his shoulder though he hardly budged as you huffed.

“I will, in the spring.” You clacked your tongue as you tried to control the smile that tugged on your lips as you leaned down as you pulled out the scone, placing it on the plate as you set up the napkin, “Until then you’re just gonna have to live with chocolate.” You stood up, looking up at his figure as you felt a smile tug on your lips once more as you handed him his plate.

“Can I take you somewhere tonight?”

Your eyebrows shot up at his abrupt words, Jungkook set his tea down as he immediately spoke for you, “She’d love to- Ow!” You jammed your elbow into his rib as he squeaked, suddenly looking at you with sullied eyes like a kicked puppy as he trailed back to the register where a small line had formed.

Take you somewhere…? Like a date…? You weren’t sure if that’s what he meant but...you felt a little at war with yourself, you knew you should be excited but, “Only if you want to,” Namjoon could immediately sense the shift in your demeanor, offering a small smile, “Remember what I said? We can take this at your pace.”

Well...he was right, you could always head home early if things took an odd turn or...the guilt had faded but you couldn’t help but feel like you were doing something wrong, mustering a smile you nodded, “It’s fine! I get off work at seven though…”

“Perfect! It’s nothing special,” Namjoon’s smile brightened as he held his cup up, “I’ll see you after work then…” He tipped his drink to you as he gave it a sip, the doors to the backroom suddenly swinging up as you whirled around.

“What did I say Hoseok?” You couldn’t help the amusement you felt at the sight of Hoseok’s ruffled hair and the suspicious bruises on his neck that were absolutely hickies, he sent you a semi embarrassed and unappreciative look as he replied, “Just get my sugar glaze pastry…”

You couldn’t stop the shit eating grin on your face as you and Jungkook exchanged looks before ringing him up, “And a cumin shot to go?” His glare was worth the joke.

The rest of the day had come and gone, some hours slow and others fast, Jungkook and you would often go bug Yoongi when things were slow- well it was mainly Jungkook, but you were glad to be back. Things almost seemed...normal?

Was this what life was really like before....you felt a small lump in your throat form. Before Taehyung? The ache in your heart was still there, but it was no longer the force that would always cause you to topple. Maybe this was the worst part of it all.

The fact that the once beautiful life you had with Taehyung was over now. You felt a smile tug on your lips and your eyes gloss a little, but for the first time, it wasn’t out of sadness. But happiness, that at the very least, you had Taehyung in your life for as long as you did. Some things just weren’t meant to be. In this lifetime at least.

Taking a deep breath you pulled yourself from your thoughts as you finished cleaning the counters, Jungkook had already finished taking out all the old pastries and Yoongi had finished cleaning up the back, “You ready to go Noona?” Jungkook called out as he untied his apron.

“Yeah, gimme a second.” You called back as you tossed your rag into the sink, walking over to the coat rack as you untied your own apron. You glanced out the shop door to see a familiar figure standing out front waiting as you looked back down, suddenly feeling semi embarrassed.

Jungkook and Yoongi were exchanging glances and you could tell on both of their faces they thought this was both endearing and hilarious, all it took was one glare from you to keep them both from spouting any kind of bullshit.

Wrapping your jacket around yourself you snuggled up against the warm fabric that fought against the cold air as you walked outside, offering a meek smile to Namjoon who’s eyes lit up at the sight of you, “Hey…” You murmured, trying to calm your heart rate that spiked rapidly for no reason.

Keeping his hands inside his coat pocket Namjoon greeted you with a brighter smile, “Hey, are you ready to go?” You gave a small nod as you began walking beside him. The sun setting and the air was getting colder at night these days, soon autumn would be here and color would flourish in all the trees.

Warily, you couldn’t help but feel a small part of yourself that was…looking forward to autumn. It was always a welcomed time of year for you, when cinnamon was strong in the air and you could bake anything with apples in it. Bundling up next to a small campfire and the only time you could wear flannel without feeling self conscious.

“Where are we going?” You asked softly as you glanced up at Namjoon who peered down at you with a small playful smile, as if he wasn’t going to answer, but he thought it was cute you’d ask regardless.

“Somewhere.” Namjoon’s smile became bigger as he watched the pout quirk on your lips as you hummed, looking back out at the darkening sky, “It’s nothing special, just something I like doing when I have the next day off.” You tilted your head in curiosity as to where he was taking you.

You only felt more confused when you stood at the gates of the park, turning to look at Namjoon as you felt a smile curl on your lips, unsure of what to make of this, “Not even a hint?”

“Well,” Namjoon drawled, pressing his lips together briefly in thought before smiling once more, “We’ll be sitting down. I can’t say anything without giving it away.”

Sitting down? There was a playground here, would you be sitting on the swings? You hadn’t done that in a long time, but much to your surprise Namjoon walked right past only for your eyes to set on a blanket that looked to already be spread out and a...telescope? Namjoon sat down as he gestured at you with a laugh, “What’s with that expression?”

“Nothing!” You hurriedly replied, sitting down on the other side of the blanket, “I just…” You looked around before looking up at the sky, lips parting a little only to notice the dark sky blanketed with bright stars, “Didn’t expect this…” You murmured as your eyes darted from star to star, it was a clear night, perfect for stargazing, how long had it been since you even looked up?

Had you truly forgotten the stars existed before this moment?

Namjoon’s expression was warm as he gestured you over, “They look even better up close, you can see Pisces from here.” Leaning down you peeped through the lense as Namjoon guided the telescope as you let out a little gasp, “Oh! I think I see it!” You zoomed the lense out a little bit as you pressed your lips together, “Wait, I don’t think that’s it.”

You had never been good with astronomy but...something about Namjoon laughing softly as you straightened up, something about the way he passionately pointed to each constellation, the way the deep midnight sky melted between the flicks of white that all seemed so...alive…

You really liked this.

You must’ve spent the whole night, looking at the stars laying down, talking about whatever came to mind, you couldn’t take your eyes off the sky for hardly a second. It truly was beautiful.

“Hey, Y/n.” You hummed as Namjoon spoke up softly, “Do mind, if I ask...about him…” You stiffened a little, your dreamy gaze snapping to Namjoon, more awake now then you had been all evening.

As if noticing the semi spooked expression Namjoon quickly added, “Only if you’re up to it...I’m sure it isn’t easy to talk about it...But I just…” He seemed a little self conscious as his eyes flickered back to the sky, “I just wanted to know about him, what he was like, what did you do together.”

You felt a weak smile tug on your lips before closing your eyes, the night sky was no longer in your vision, but it was the warmth of your old home, the apartment you shared with Taehyung, his face which you hadn’t seen in so long was so clear, “He was…” You trailed off for a second before you felt your eyes water as a smile tugged on your lips, “Childish,” You laughed, memories of his pouty expression whenever you reprimanded him, “Playful definitely…” You sniffed as you wiped your eyes, the way he’d smirk and grab you by the waist, murmuring less than appropriate things in your ear, “God he was…” Opening your eyes you laughed again while shaking your head, “Everything I could’ve ever wanted. He made me see colors that don’t exist, noise became music, clouds weren’t just particles anymore,” Tears trickled down your face as you smiled, looking up at the stars, “He told me they were god’s canvas that he painted on every day. Taehyung, he saw beauty in everything.”

You paused as your smile slowly faded, closing your eyes as the pain washed over you, the dull ache in your heart returned as you rubbed your eyes of the tears you had shed, “It’s just…” You felt pathetic, still crying, still missing what once was, “Hard to believe it’s all over, y’know?”

You felt fingers tug at your hair before gently combing through as you covered your mouth, trying to stifle down the sobs that bubbled in your throat, “He sounds like a one of a kind.” Namjoon offered a small smile as you turned to face him, rubbing the warm tears from your face as you felt a smile tug on your lips.

“He was terrible! He’d start singing trot off tune and he always made such a fucking mess in the kitchen without cleaning it up!” Memories flashed by in your mind, flour all over the floor and Taehyung's voice low and raspy as he’d cough while trying to sing, the large boxy smile he’d give when you’d wake up to breakfast already made, “And he always left his clothes all over the floor because he never did laundry because he knew i’d do it for him if he waited long enough.”

“Oh? And how bad were the road trips?” Namjoon’s lips were tugged in a soft smile, laying on his side to look at you as his fingers tangled against your roots.

“Don’t even get me started,” You both laughed as continued, “Jazz was always a must and it was so boring to listen to for five hours straight and he always bought too many snacks! We went camping one time and...god!” You let out a breathy laugh, “Never again, we forgot to bring bug repellent in the middle of the most humid time of the year and apparently there was like this- retreat? For nudists at the campgrounds at the time and they kept coming over asking if we wanted to take LSD with them and it ended up raining the whole time!”

Namjoon was snorting out a laugh, humored as he asked, “What did you guys do? I don’t think I can imagine my camping neighbors as nudists.”

“We had rented out this shitty old camper van so we could keep all of our supplies in the back but, after a long day of being miserable and arguing half the time we packed up and intended on leaving,” You closed your eyes as your fingers traced against the soft blanket, “But when we were driving back we ended up taking a wrong turn and found a cliff side camping spot that was just gorgeous. So we ended up clearing out the back of the van and setting up a ton of blankets and pillows and we enjoyed the view.”

You could still feel the hard car floorboard against your body with just a few blankets for comfort, curled up against Taehyung with his arms wrapped around you looked out over the valley, that awful weekend ended up being one of your favorite memories, “We turned off our phones, worked through our problems, shared laughs and ate those stupid hostess powdered donuts, and he said it. That first I love you.”

Tears dripped down your face as you forced yourself to pause, you hated doing this to Namjoon, who obviously held back saying those same words, why was he even doing this to himself? He couldn’t have actually wanted to hear about him. You could see the way his heart always crumbled with every tear you cried, “I miss him so much. I’m sorry.” You whispered in overwhelm, memories you had forgotten resurfacing and you pressed your hands into your face.

“Shhh,” You were pulled against Namjoon, his arms comfortingly wrapped around you as he held you close, “It’s okay to miss him.”

-----

“I’m gonna hurt the roots if I just rip it out!”

You curved a brow as you snorted, Namjoon looked utterly distressed as he attempted to repot his newest set of flowers, mums in shades of deep burnt orange and burgundy, perfect for autumn, “The roots are overgrown!” You argued, “We’re gonna have to cut them down to put less stress on the plants for the love of god just listen to me!”

You pushed the powdered donut into your mouth before sitting down with him on the wooden picnic table, “Who’s the expert here?”

“You.” Namjoon unenthusiastically hmphed as he rolled his eyes, but curiously peered down at your hands that pushed down through the soil, carefully extracting the small square of mums as you swallowed the large clump of donut, “Alright we gotta clip these before you can repot them, it’ll promote more growth and they won’t die as quick.”

“It just seems…” Namjoon watched warily as you clipped the roots with zero hesitation, “...Counter intuitive. Isn’t this like ripping out their lungs?”

You snorted again, turning to look at him as you pouted animatedly, “Awh you think plants feel? I mean if you wanna get that graphic it’s more like...shaving their lungs…” You watched Namjoon’s nose crinkle in dismay as you laughed, “Seriously though, they won’t get as much nourishment from the soil if you just keep this big ass clump. Root pruning is kind of essential when you’re repotting store bought plants.”

“Alright but if my flowers die-”

“Which they won't.” You handed him the pruners as you gave him a cheeky smile, “Well go on, they won’t trim themselves.” You grabbed the bag of mini donuts before plopping another into your mouth, as you inhaled sharply. It was such a beautiful day out, the sun was shining and clouds big and fluffy.

It was the perfect day to be outside, which is why you were sitting on the picnic table that was one of many sitting outside behind your apartment building. Things with Namjoon have been...good...they’ve been great. It’s been nearly a month of consistently seeing one another, hanging out.

The pain is still there but, it’s gradually faded with time, you still go see your therapist once a week to talk over things in hopes of not pouring too much out onto Namjoon who was always so patient and kind. You frequented the park at night with him to stargaze and planting and taking care of any greenery had become a thing with you both.

You weren’t sure what it was but, being able to be open and honest about your past relationship with Taehyung, being able to talk about your adventures together, the things you loved and annoyed you about him. Somehow having Namjoon earnestly listen to it all brought you closer to him. You felt safe with him, like he’d wipe your every tear away.

You really didn’t deserve him.

Your fists curled in frustration having not caught the words in your mind. Your therapist had been really getting on you as of late to try and redirect your thoughts to more positive affirmations anytime you mentally said you didn’t deserve him. Like...you deserved to have his kindness in your life.

You could even step into the art museum now without much fear, only because Namjoon loved art and he often contemplated his love of philosophy alongside it. You really were thankful for him. But you couldn’t help but notice something lingering…something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“So I was thinking.” Namjoon hummed, his eyes purposely looking down at the soil that crumbled beneath his fingers as he pruned the roots carefully, “Why not attend that gala tonight? For Modernism?”

You tilted your head as you shoved another donut in your mouth, “Gala?” Your voice was muffled as you chewed before swallowing, “I thought you said it was stupid because they should’ve chosen to represent Baroque?” He had done things like this in the past before, it would be one thing if you were an art person and he was doing it for you, but you weren’t.

Namjoon looked a little apprehensive as he shrugged, gaining your attention more as his eyes stayed on the mums, “Well...I know you both used to like doing...you know, things like that…” He mumbled, making your mouth fall open. Oh...oh no…! You were afraid of something like this happening.

“Namjoon,” Your lips tugged into a pout, your voice gaining his attention as he peeked up a little, obviously embarrassed when he shouldn’t be, grabbing the plant from him tenderly you set it into the pot before grabbing his soil covered hands, his eyes anywhere but yours, “Those were things me and him liked to do Namjoon…”

“I- I just…” Namjoon fumbled a little, “I know you miss doing those things so…”

Your expression twisted sadly, had you said too much to him about Taehyung? You didn’t want Namjoon to feel insecure about your relationship...not that you were together but...things were obviously headed in that direction, weren’t they?

“I don’t miss doing those things Namjoon, I miss it because it was with him,” You watched the way he frowned, his shoulder’s slumping as he stared down at the table, “And you aren’t him. And I don’t want you to be him,” His gaze suddenly shot up to your expression that hardened, “Namjoon I don’t want to live in the past trying to make old memories new again when we already have something. I wanna create new memories that are just as happy,” You felt a little shy as you looked away, “With you, and with the things we like to do together. So don’t worry about it, let’s just stick with a plans to go to the park tonight, besides didn’t you say a meteor shower was happening,”

You were casual in your words, trying to play off your heartfelt confession on not wanting him to compare himself to your old lover, that wasn’t the kind of relationship you wanted and it wouldn't be Namjoon if he did things the way Taehyung did. They were two very different men with similar hobbies but for vastly different reasons, but you’d always love them both.

Wait…

“Draconids, but it’ll be a boring show. They say there’s only five meteors an hour” Namjoon smiled, his chin resting against his arm as he gave you a dopey smile making you laugh as you shook your head. His fingers playing with yours as you replied, “I’d rather be there then at a stuffy art gala.”

“Noona! Hyung! Oh did we interrupt?”

You clacked your tongue in annoyance as your hand, still intertwined with Namjoon’s dropped to table to see both Jungkook and Jimin waving, “No you didn’t, asshole!” You added as you yelled back, watching both Jimin and Jungkook belt out with laughter as a smile tugged on your lips.

It was originally planned as just a lunch outside but you and Namjoon had made more plans on top of that.

Jimin waved the bag of takeout he had gotten for everyone as they both sat down, grabbing the towel that was laid out Namjoon wiped his hands along yours as he groaned, “Ah I’m starving, why did it take you guys so long?”

“No reason,” Jungkook hummed, sounding oddly...content…? Your furrowed your brows as you looked between them both, Jimin’s eyes immediately shooting down to the bag of food as he coughed loudly, “Here’s your kebabs you wanted.”

You ignored whatever subtext was lingering in the air at the sight of you lamb kebabs, hands immediately sticking out with a smile, “Thank you!” When was the last time you had enjoyed food like this?

You could feel the warm rays of sunshine on your face and the cool breeze that passed over your body occasionally, was this what it was like to feel again? It was hard to keep Namjoon’s bright gaze that looked more and more like love these days, the way he’d just stare at you with that small smile and those dimples of his. You supposed, these days, maybe you really could fall in love with someone else.

And after all...that’s what Taehyung would want, wouldn’t it? Something continuously held you back though and...suddenly everything became so clear, you knew exactly what you needed to do. And you knew you didn’t need to do it alone. Watching Jungkook and Jimin bid their farewell after lunch your throat became dry as your heartbeat became faster.

“Namjoon,” You asked before you convinced yourself maybe this wasn’t as good of an idea as you thought it was.

He hummed, turning to face you, that bright smile on his lips again as he listened endearingly, somehow making it harder to speak and had the sun always been this hot? “...Would you mind going with me...to visit him?”

Namjoon’s pupils widened a little and his lips parted as if not expecting those words, he sincerely took a moment to ponder them and you appreciated more then if had unwillingly said yes, after a moment he gave you another reassuring smile as he grabbed your hands, “Of course Y/n.” You felt relieved as you gave a small smile in return, you knew exactly what you needed to do.

It wasn’t until the evening that you went to the flower shop, grabbing a small bouquet of tiger lilies before walking towards the cemetery, Namjoon doing a double take when you shyly grabbed his hand. Touches were innocent still, hand holding still new and it was admittedly welcomed.

The sunset was vivid today and it seemed just like yesterday you had rejected Namjoon’s offer for lunch in turn to come here, had that really been three months ago? You looked up at his figure that was looking ahead as a smile tugged on your lips.

The cemetery looked as it always did, serene, carefully walking in the passage ways and making sure to not step onto any graves you paused at the willow tree. Your heart still squeezed as you glanced down.

Kim Taehyung

1995 - 2018

‘For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream’

Sitting down you pulled out the rag you had packed, gently wiping off his gravestone as your eyes waters, a soft smile tugging on your lips as your fingers traced against the engraved name, “Oh there’s so many things I wish I could tell you Tae.” You murmured softly, closing your eyes as the tears slid down, the smile still on your face as you sat back, placing the flowers down as an arm comfortingly wrapped around you.

Sniffing you wiped your eyes as you leaned against Namjoon, your head resting against his shoulder as you closed your eyes, “I’ve struggled for so long to let you go. To let myself be okay with letting you go.” You could imagine Taehyung’s face, his dark locks of hair covering his eyebrows and his soft smile, hands cupping your cheeks, “And I’ll always love you. But I know you wouldn’t want me to go on the way I had been…So I’ve come here to say goodbye I suppose.”

There was an ache in your jaw and your heart throbbed with that familiar dull ache, Namjoon’s head laying on top of yours as he pressed a kiss against your hair, “You’ll always be with me, and I’ll always cherish the time I had with you. But it’s time that I let myself be happy again. I know you understand. So thank you for...everything. And leading me to the person I belong with now.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as the tears trickled down your cheeks, pressing into Namjoon’s shoulder, even despite your tears you felt, at peace? As if this was meant to be, accepting things for what they were, and that no, you weren’t completely over Taehyung, but this was a good start to letting him go fully.

Namjoon wrapped his arms around you as you sniffled, scooting against him as you curled up against the warmth he radiated, “I promise I’ll take care of her,” He spoke softly, a gentle smile on his lips as he looked down at your curled up figure, knowing this couldn’t be easy for you to do, “I know we never met, but thank you for making her happy. And I’ll continue to do the same.” He pressed another kiss against your head as he rested his head a top of yours once more.

Sniffles escaped you as the wind blew through the trees, a soft rustle being the only noise outside your tears as the willow tree swayed in contentment. And if you really wanted to reach, maybe this was Taehyung’s spirit giving his blessing.

For the first time, leaving the cemetery was like a breath of relief, it was as if you had learned to walk on your own for the first time in a very long time. The sun had already set and hand in hand with Namjoon you both walked to the park where you set out the blanket as the moon rose.

“Thanks by the way,” You turned to face Namjoon in confusion as he offered a small shy smile, “For taking me to visit him today. I know it wasn’t easy to do.” Your heart felt like it was doing little backflips as you crawled out to snuggle up against him, for the first time, craving his touch against you.

“Of course, but I’m ready to focus on us.” You still felt a little shy yourself but you wanted more than anything to get to know Namjoon, he knew everything there was to know about you by now in terms of your past relationship. There was an unquenchable inferno inside you that wanted to know everything you could about this man.

Laying down curled up against him Namjoon let his fingers tenderly run against your hair as he whispered, “I’m okay with that.” Your heart for the first time felt content, warm and fuzzy, all the hurt and all the tears you had spent crying felt like just a distant memory in the arms of your lover now.

Your eyes felt lost in the inky blue sky above the were speckles with stars that gleamed brightly, and there it was the first meteor that passed making you squeak in excitement, Namjoon smiled as he looked down at your expression that seemed so excited at the flashes of light that streaked across the sky.

Glancing at the sky Namjoon was surprised at the next few meteors that passed, and a few more before they came in dozens and dozens and soon the whole sky was lit up in light and the stars the seemed so muted before looked like gems that danced across the sky, light blues mixed with deepers shades of indigo and the streaks of white painted across the sky as he whispered, “This only happens once every few hundred years, where hundreds appear in the sky.”

Namjoon couldn’t look at the rare sight in the sky though, not when he could look at your eyes that reflected the whole sky in them, all the stars that surfed in your gaze and your lips open in awe at the sight and for the first time in his life, he understood what that saying meant.

‘For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream’

Namjoon would never leave your side for a single second, he pledged to himself, you’d both get through this together and you’d build a strong relationship. And he’d cherish you just as much as Kim Taehyung did, he’d devote his whole life to you if needed.”

“Namjoon,” Your eyes looked dreamy while you turned to face him, he seemed distant as he stared at you as you gave a bashful smile, for the first time able to say what you always felt, “I love you.”

#bts #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #namjoon angst #bts angst #namjoon imagine #taehyung angst #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #im so sorry yall #this is sad as hell

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ally22042000 · 4 years ago

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Linked by fate

Kindergarten

Werewolf AU

Fluff

OT7 x Reader

Pack Alpha: Namjoon Alpha: Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook Beta: Seokjin, Yoongi, Taehyung Omega: Y/N

Wordcount: 1.3K

A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you are going to enjoy this part. I’ve decided that I’m going to write every part like a one-shot, so it can be read individually. If there are any scenarios you would like to read just drop them in my requests. -Ally

Four-year-old Kim Seokjin was happily painting on the floor, when the kid next to him accidently spilled his apple juice. A shrieked left the boy as he witnessed the fluid ruining his stick figures. The boy’s eye next to him got big and he stumbled over an apology. Desperately trying to safe the picture Namjoon squished the juice box beneath his feet. Droplets landed on Jin’s face, causing the elder to frown at the pack alpha’s kid.

A shrill laughter arouse from across the room. Jung Hoseok holding his belly, whist falling of a chair. Unfortunately, Seokjin didn’t find the humour in the situation. Right as he was about to shove the boy next to him for ruining his hard work, a pale hand holding a baby wipe appeared between them. Min Yoongi, the quite boy who always napped in the pillow corner and growled at anyone that came with in a three-foot radius of him, stood there. After a moment he basically shoved the object in Jin’s face, making it obvious what he had intended it for.

The dispute died down rather quickly and the three guys started building Lego together, the ruined drawing long forgotten. And it didn’t take long when a curious looking boy glanced over Yoongi’s shoulder. Biting his bottom lip nervously he tried to think of a way to ask them to join, but Seokjin saved him the trouble. As soon as he spotted the Hobi, he greeted him with a friendly simile and asked him to help build the kitchen of the house.

That’s how the four boys met and how their friendship started, every day from then on day played together. Creating a strong bond, that everyone smiled at. They would draw, built, and play together. Yoongi still preferred to use this time to nap, but instead of the pillows he used on of their laps for comfort.

A year later, the next group of young wolfs joined the kindergarten class. All of them were assigned one member from the older class to guide them through the year and help them with any problem that might occur.

Yours was Seokjin, the boy greeted you with a dazzling smile when both of your names were called and promised to take good care of you. He immediately grabbed you hand and ordered you to sit next to him for the rest of the year. Taking his role as your guide very seriously. Taehyung was given Yoongi, the elder wearing a prominent scowl when he realised how talk active the younger boy was. When they joined your table, the boy greeted everyone with a hug, asking a million questions.

Next was Namjoon who got introduced to Jeon Jungkook. The new kindergartener looked at the alpha with big, sparkling eyes. Knowing Namjoon’s position in your pack and not believing the honour, that he would be his guid. When they sat down next to Yoongi, Jungkook let out a whispered greeting staring at his fidgeting hands for the rest of the introduction.

Lastly, Hoseok came over with his companion, Park Jimin, a little boy with round cheeks and happy eyes trailing behind him. They completed your table.

The eight of you slowly started a conversation. In the beginning it was mainly about the routine at the kindergarten. What kind of tasks you would have to complete, such as helping cleaning the dishes after sneak time or always tidying up after yourselves. Gradually the conversation shifted to likes and dislikes. Jokes were made and compliments distributed. Taehyung puling on your pig tails and stating he loved them. Resulting in your offering too give him two with the headbands kept in the room for beauty sessions. This ensued Hobi getting up and wanting the same treatment. Because of his lack of hair length, he got a little sprout at the top of his head. A hairstyle he kept until the end of the day and proudly presented his mother and older sister at home.

The rest of the year was a mixture of happy, adventures and adorable memories. The eight of you did everything together. From Jungkook showing amazing drawing skills and Tae demanding he teach him, to Yoongi sleeping whenever possible and you curling up into his backside. Rubbing your face into his shirt until he would turn around and scratch your head like you wanted him to. Sometimes it was hard to believe that you were a wolf and not a kitten.

When Winter came, Yoongi and Jimin would snuggle up beneath a blanket and watch the rest of you play outside in the snow. A snowball fight would occur, and the air would be filled with giggles. Soon you would be the first to run back inside, as an omega you where naturally colder than the rest, especially the alphas. The two boys would immediately situate you between them. Wrapping you up in their arms, your head positioned on Yoongi’s shoulder as Jimin held your hand in his. Smiling at the remaining boys outside. Giggling, when Jungkook tackled Seokjin to the ground and Namjoon held onto Hobi so he couldn’t help his teammate.

When the caretakers called everyone inside and distributed hot chocolate, all of you sat next to each other. Listening attentively as Mr. Hofer told you a story about Christmas wonders. Bellies full of the warm beverage and minds at ease, you easily fell asleep in a happy pile, exhausted from the day’s events.

Winter left and spring warmed up your days. Expeditions were started. The entire kindergarten walked hand in hand into the woods every Wednesday. No matter the weather; true wolfs could stand the rain. You would collect sticks for a fire and learn about nature. What mushrooms and berries to eat and which not to. It was a bit early to study those things and it will be on the schedule for Junior High classes again, to ensure you would manifest the knowledge into your brain. But wolfs believed that it was necessary to get to know the forest from a young age. You were part animal, your instincts had to be refined and improved early on. While wolfs naturally knew what thing not to eat, it helps if the brain actually had scientific facts about the danger of certain food.

Tae always exceled at these expeditions. Without fail he remember every fact about plants, berries, etcetera. The caretakers taught it; Tae knew it. It was a bit of a surprise. Normally it was difficult to keep Taehyung’s attention and he would seldom remember what was said during “class”. But as soon as they were surrounded by green it was like a switch clicked in his brain and suddenly, he became a model student.

The year ended earlier than any of you would have liked. Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon transferred to Elementary, while the rest of you were stuck in kindergarten for another year. But you promised each other to have play dates as often as possible and a year later, you and the three boys followed. It became clear during that year, in which you had seen each other almost every day, that your bond was stronger than anybody had thought.

It was a serious of coincidences which brought you together: from Namjoon spilling his apple juice to the paring on introduction day. Nobody had foreseen the relationship that would form from a kindergarten connection. The question was would it be strong enough when the obstacles of life came your way? Would developments coming with age drift you apart?

That were questions the eight kids didn’t ask themselves when they meet up the first day of summer break. They loved and teased each other, like they were meant to.

#bts #bts x reader #OT7 BTS #fluff #werewolf #linked by fate

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oftenderweapons · 4 years ago

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Apple Of My Pie (6) — Jin

A Small Town Swoons story

Chapter 6.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader (nicknamed Buttercup)

Wordcount: 3.8k

Genre: non-idol!AU, Baker/Café owner!Seokjin, University student!reader Flatmates!AU, Friends To Lovers; angst, very little fluff

Rating: suggested 18+ for future smut and swearing

A/N: Hello my cupcakes! Welcome to the Small Town Swoon Universe! 🥰✨

In this episode: Jin and Buttercup have been apart for a while. Both mourn for their separation, Buttercup nursed by the attentive care of Jeongguk and Yoongi, while Seokjin prefers dwelling on his feelings in solitude. In the deepest darkness, some sense finally sheds a light, thanks to the words of an unexpected ally.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Swearing. Both jin and Buttercup are underfed, which leads to a sense of coldness and numbness, fatigue and haziness that are mentioned in the fic.

Remember to vote for next prompt (check the link in my bio) and in case you need it, here’s my masterlist 💜

If you’d like some company, here is the music companion (Spotify only, sorry 😔)

Enjoy ✨💜

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7 (7/7)

He missed you.

He missed you a lot.

He missed you waking up at two am to raid the kitchen. He missed hearing your laugh from across the apartment while you watched something.

He missed hearing you ramble on and on about literature in your own room as you studied your lessons, he missed breakfast together, he missed waking up at two pm after a night shift and having late lunch together after you came back from your lessons. He missed making you hot cocoa, watching films together, having dinner, talking about boring stuff.

He missed you.

He had been missing you for two weeks now, and soon they would become three.

Nineteen days. In a few hours he would have to handle one more Saturday dinner alone, one more Saturday night without watching a film with you on the sofa. And then another Sunday morning when he would cook too much food and end up bringing it to Taehyung.

Nineteen days.

That’s how long you had been missing.

And every time he came back home, one more piece of you disappeared. Your toiletries had vanished on that unfortunate Sunday. That inglorious, tragic Sunday, when he was still too confused to understand the end had started.

On Monday, the first few books were gone; your currently reading novels, usually abandoned on the coffee table, had disappeared.

Next your blanket, the one his granny had gifted you for your first Christmas away from home. That was on Tuesday, with some more books.

The emptiness he had prayed for ever since he had decided he needed to fall out of love with you was slowly conquering the apartment. The same emptiness, once a welcome feeling in his mind, now manifested in his heart as a slow, ruthless strangling, the one where you know exactly what is happening, and you feel every cell of your body oppose, fight for oxygen, like a person clawing at the offender’s fingers tightening around their throat.

He felt like he was drowning, inch by inch, unfathomably.

He rang the door bell.

A disturbingly sweet scent of tuberose met his nostrils. He flinched.

“Hi, come in!”

“We can order in some pizza or I could make pasta. Or risotto.” Jeongguk sat beside you, stealing your book and putting it down. “You need to eat, Sweets.”

You shook your head. “I’m okay, I’m just not in the mood.”

“Just a little, come on. Make me happy.” He begged, looking at you with those eyes that made it impossible to deny him.

“Okay. Just a little, though, I’m really… Not okay.” You admitted, snuggling up next to Bibby, his torso pillowing your head.

He scared you with a sneeze before you both settled down again. The dog had become your shadow, following you everywhere, as if he could sense your deep need for affection and support.

Jeongguk nodded. “Can you handle a baby pizza? We can eat the leftovers tomorrow for breakfast,” he mused, letting you know it was okay even if you didn’t finish your food.

He just wanted you to eat.

You were cold all the time, your teeth always clattering, your body so weak after days of eating the very minimum to stay alive and studying.

In the last few days you had even given up on attending university, your friends and study buddies sending you the recordings of the lessons. One of your teachers had even noticed your absence and Lara had diligently made up an excuse, saying you had caught a bad flu and that you were slowly recovering.

“Lemme call the pizza place.” Jeongguk cupped your cheek, studying your face, so pale, your eyes, so tired.

You nodded.

Jeongguk sat up and called. “Hi, it’s me. Yeah, can I have a baby Margherita in ten? I know, it’s Friday and rush hour, just a baby Margherita… You’re the best. Yes, I’ll bring you candies. Go to work. Yeah, bye.”

You blinked a few times, quite surprised at Jeongguk’s relaxed tone as he talked to the person on the phone.

“It’ll be here soon. Why don’t you rest your eyes a little. You need that, Sweets.” He reminded you.

He could be so apprehensive, so caring and observant.

He seemed to know everything, the same way Jin did. Still, you were far from feeling for Jeongguk the things you felt for Jin. It felt like that path you had walked to Seokjin would never lead you to Jeongguk, though you had considered.

It wasn’t a matter of food, or time, or affection or care. It was something deeper, deeper than attraction and spending time together and laughing at the same jokes.

It was as if your soul didn’t feel at home in his space, like it could never inhabit his body the way it inhabited yours. Or Seokjin’s.

You closed your eyes.

“Good for you.” Jeongguk said, fixing the blanket around you, adding an extra one for your feet, knowing that they always got cold.

“She’s sleeping.”

“Does she sleep a lot?”

“Quite a lot, yes.”

“Did she lose weight?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Does she eat, even just a little?”

“When I’m around, yes, but I’m not usually home for lunch. I’m pretty sure she eats breakfast and dinner. Very little food, but at least she eats.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Yoongi, she’s trying.”

You could hear some voices from the kitchen table, but you refused to open your eyes. You could recognise them with your eyes closed anyway.

Spice’s voice appeared. “I bet she’s exhausted. He looked bad too. They’re hurting so bad, both of them.”

“They had chances, Spice. They turned them down. Maybe they’ll learn the lesson.” Yoongi said coldly.

“Not everyone is like us, baby. They’re taking their time.” Spice calmed him down.

“They won’t have forever.” Yoongi objected with a slight growl in his voice.

Jeongguk stared as Spice brought an arm around Yoongi’s shoulders, pulling him into her chest. She knew it was his history making him speak with so much anger and tension. “If it doesn’t happen, then they’re not meant to be.”

Yoongi relaxed a little. “If they aren’t, then I don’t know who is.”

Spice shook her head. “They’ll work it out.”

Jeongguk placed his head against his hands. “She’s just freezing cold, all the time.”

“You mean her body temperature or her mood?” Yoongi questioned.

“Her temperature.”

Yoongi tutted. “Give her more sugars. She needs fruit and honey and chocolate. Keep those on the coffee table so you can keep them in check, see if she eats.”

“Sure thing.”

“Has she seen him?” Spice asked, still holding Yoongi’s hand.

“No. I don’t think so. Lara tells her when he’s at the bakery so she can go home and get what she needs.” Jeongguk replied.

Yoongi breathed heavily. You could tell it was him by the way his exhale was drenched in exasperation. “That man. He will drive me mad. He’s so stupid.”

“He has a girl—”

“Which in my opinion he should have never had.” Yoongi commented.

“It’s his choice, Yoongi. He fucked up. I’m here for her.” Jeongguk objected. “I’m her friend.”

“You had feeli—”

“I had them. In the past. You know how this works, Yoongi. How it works for me. She’s never been it. I’ll know when the right one comes.” Jeongguk stated, as determined as ever.

“Then learn the lesson from that fucker and when she comes, tell her what she means to you.” Yoongi said, squeezing Spice’s hand in his.

“I’ll tell her so much she’ll get tired of it.” Jeongguk affirmed with the solemn tone of promises.

Spice squeezed Yoongi’s hand in return. “We never get tired of hearing that.”

Yoongi’s eyes met those of his lover, friend and partner. “We never do.” He said, like a whispered secret to his beloved.

Jeongguk smiled at the exchange. That was his goal. Finding something like that, like what he saw between his friends, right in that moment.

“Should I wake her?” He asked, musing about your situation.

Yoongi got out of his bubble and replied quickly. “Yes. Try keeping her close to a proper sleeping schedule. Her body is spread thin right now, so she’ll need naps, but don’t let those last too long.” The man instructed. “If it doesn’t get better in two weeks, then we’ll need to get proper help. You know there’s not much I can do since I’m connected to both. I cannot be professional about it.” Yoongi explained. “I have a uni colleague who practices and who could help her, were this to continue.”

“Thank you, Yoongi.”

“All cool, kid. Text me when she’s up. Tell her to call me if you see she’s ready.”

Jeongguk nodded, “I’ll have her call you.”

“Yeah, just don’t force her,” Yoongi replied, standing up and wearing his coat. “Spice and I will be out of town next weekend. Just so you know.”

Jeongguk smiled, “thank you for telling me.”

“Wake her and feed her.” Yoongi said, walking to the door, Spice following him closely. She watched as Yoongi’s eyes looked for your sleeping form. “Tell her we love her a lot. That she needs to be strong and healthy to explore the woods with Joon and to help us with spring pies.” Yoongi shook his head. “Maybe ignore the pies.”

Jeongguk nodded. “Joon will bring her to the cottage soon. I’ll be having a busy week starting Monday.”

“Great. See you, Gukkie.” Yoongi said, finally ready to leave.

From the smell of coffee and leather, you felt what could only be Spice’s hand touching your face. “Stay safe, baby.” She told you, still thinking you were asleep.

Underneath all those layers, Spice was a sweetheart, after all. It made your heart clench.

“Bye Guk.” She said, shortly before you heard the door close.

He sat beside you and Bibby. “Open your eyes, Sweets. You need to eat your dinner.”

You pouted and stretched, sitting up. “I’m going to the cottage?”

“Namjoon will pass by on Sunday to pick you up.” Jeongguk said, incapable of hiding some envy. He wanted to go to the cottage too. It was beautiful to see how much a day can make a difference in the woods in spring.

You nodded, already comforted by the thought of sharing some time with one of the people you respected and trusted the most, in his lovely cottage, among his plants and paintings and books. It was the most healing place in the universe. “Can I have some pizza?” You asked, sniffing at the inviting scent in the air.

Jeongguk smiled at your question, significantly happy with your request. “Of course.”

“How are you? Did you sleep a little?” Grace asked, getting a glass of water and some biscuits for Seokjin.

He smiled at the young woman but sneered at the food, almost hissing. He felt ready to throw up his guts. He felt disgusting.

“Not much.” He said, rubbing his arms. He felt so cold.

Grace shook her head. “You should eat.”

Seokjin looked out of the window, the orange afternoon sun hurting his eyes. Two more hours. Saturday dinner alone. He tried to find the words, the right words.

He realised there weren’t any.

“I miss her, Grace.” Jin placed his elbows on the table and planted his forehead against his palms. “I miss her too much.”

Grace nodded and stood up. She walked to the window and stood there, with her back to Jin. “Everyone. Everyone in this town knows. Everyone.” She paused. Seokjin waited. She didn’t speak with anger or sadness. She simply spoke, like one who knew.

“Everyone knows about you and her, about how perfect you look together. But she didn’t even consider you. You always cared for her, but who cared for you? Who made breakfast and dinner and the laundry and the cleaning for you?” Grace seemed upset now. “She never made a move, though. Everyone knew, but sometimes only one person really, actually knows.” She turned around. She had a small smile on, a bitter one, maybe. “Because you weren’t hers, I made a move. And I never expected you would take me into consideration, all the girls — and the boys — who have tried never succeeded. How would I?” Again she paused. “But I did it. Somehow.”

Seokjin nodded. “You are a great person, Grace. You’re smart, kind, beautiful. And you’re dedicated, and I was attracted to you since the first time I saw you.”

“But I’m not her, am I?” She said, so gentle; the kind of gentleness that you use with strangers, to keep them at a distance.

“You’re not her, and there are pros and cons to this, just like for any other people.” Seokjin replied politely.

Grace nodded as she paced back and forth. She grabbed a biscuit and she ate it unhurriedly, still pacing, chewing it slowly.

“I tried to move on.” Seokjin explained, “but maybe I’m not ready.”

Grace bobbed her head. “Fair. After all I could be only a carer.” She admitted. “I think I took pity on you, but never truly loved you.” Her expression looked sad but honest.

Seokjin pursed his lips. “We both deserve better than dull pity, may it be giving or receiving.”

“I thought pity would suffice. We could be great friends and then grow into something more than that. But some friendships don’t evolve like the one you have with her.” Grace sat down in front of her guest. Her boyfriend. Soon to be her ex.

Their time together was coming to an end, each second inevitable like the ticking of the clock.

“I hope you don’t feel insulted, or disrespected.” Seokjin confessed, his tone of voice extremely apologetic.

“We both got into this with the wrong intentions. I think we both deserve the best and we clearly will not get it from each other. You need her, and I'm just a detour on your way to her—”

“Please, don't think that I didn't care about you.” He said, with so much pain in his voice. He was so disappointed in himself.

“I know you cared. Maybe you still care, but I know you wouldn't be here if she were an option.” Grace said, her voice honest, a bit harsh maybe, but with no suffering or aggression.

“Don't think I chose you because I couldn't have her. Among several options, I still chose you, because you were the one I liked the most, because I could fall in love with you. And I still like you, but I didn't fall. And I'm not sure that will happen.” Seokjin spoke with transparent unequivocality.

“It would be stupid for us to continue down this path. We would just lie to each other, unless we accept that our relationship will be based on fondness and nothing more.” Grace explained clearly.

Seokjin pouted. “We're too young for fondness.”

“We are.” Grace agreed. “But you need to tell her, Jin. You must tell her. You're hurting for a separation you could have absolutely avoided. At least, if you have to suffer, do it for the right reason.” Grace had a clarity in her that Seokjin had come to respect. He knew someone would love it someday. Someone would take care of her and cherish her and adore her and worship her with her gifts and imperfections. Someone could even love the scent of tuberoses that always lingered on her skin.

“I think we're ready to say goodbye.” She mused. “Although I would love it if we could still be friendly around each other. I don't wanna say 'let's stay friends' because that could be hypocritical of me right now, but I think I'd be very happy if we could still say hi and chat at the bakery when I stop by.”

“I think I'd be proud to call you my friend, when you feel ready for that. Still, you don't have to do that. I understand I hurt you—”

“No offense, but you didn't hurt me. I already knew what I was getting myself into. I think I've always known you would never be mine. A part of me was ready for this to happen and I think that's what's keeping this from being hurtful or insulting or whatever. We have been clear from the very start.”

“I wasn't clear about her.” Seokjin's eyes watered. He felt like he didn't deserve Grace's mercy and understanding.

“Anyone and everyone could tell. You were clear with anything but words. Plus I knew, and still I let it happen.” Grace took Seokjin's hand in hers. “It's not your fault. You're not alone.”

He didn't know when it happened but somehow he was crying, weeping like a baby, sobbing and sniffling.

Grace rose and walked to his chair, standing behind him, placing both her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them energetically. “You’re gonna be alright, Jin. Just go and fix all this mess with her. Talk to her please or I swear I'm gonna hate you. Don't make all this pain useless.” The young woman hugged him and kissed his head. “Stop telling yourself you don't deserve her. Stop being paranoid about her turning you down. Have you ever considered her giving you a chance?” She spoke with a soothing tone, something that he knew would make her a great mother someday. He could see himself kicking his own butt and begging Grace to take him back, were he ever to learn how to love her.

However, a part of his brain told him that loving Grace was something he could never learn, just like he never had to learn how to love you.

“You're one smart, beautiful woman, you know?” He asked, patting Grace's hands with his. “I hope you get someone who can love you the way you need.”

Grace nodded. “The same to you, dear. Now go get your lady or I'm going to castrate you.”

He squeaked out a teary laugh before standing up. “Are you okay with me hugging you?”

She smiled and nodded.

The embrace held for maybe half a minute before she whispered 'go, quick', like her gut was telling her something.

Seokjin smiled before winking and running out of the building.

You were grateful for the umbrella. You knew that soon the light drizzle would become a full storm and with all your heart you hoped you had enough time to carry your stuff to Yoongi’s pub, Ginger’s, and save yourself from the rain.

You were eager to get your stuff ready. All you wanted was for it to be Sunday already, for the energy of the woods to restore your soul and offer a safe haven to your mourning body.

You wanted the slightly damp spring days, the blossoms on the trees and the light green new leaves. You longed to see the lawns become once more verdant, filled with daisies and the frolicking of bees and butterflies.

However, for now you were stuck in the cold, humid weather, not a hint of spring in sight.

With a slight pout you entered your building, climbing the stairs in a path you could walk with your eyes closed.

The keys indented your skin uncomfortably, your hold too tight.

You slipped the right one in quickly, trying to make the errand as brief as possible.

Once you entered, you took off your shoes. You didn’t want to stain Seokjin’s floor, especially considering how he always took care of it, spending extra time in treating the hardwood boards with special products to keep them glossy and vibrant in their splendid maroon colour.

You completely avoided looking at the kitchen, walking to your room and finding the last bag of clothes resting on the bed, still made with three-week-old sheets. You wondered whether it was a good idea for you to wash them, but once you were reminded you would be gone for a whole week, maybe more, you shook your head and went on with your tasks, cleaning up your desk once you noticed the dust on it.

Your tiny bookcase was halfway empty, the only things left some old books you read during your first year and tiny trinkets.

A can of cherry coke from your first trip to the lake with the guys; a tattoo Jeongguk had designed for you a long time ago, waiting for you to finally find the guts to get it done; granny’s recipe for her special apple pie; a picture of you and Seokjin at the bakery’s fiftieth anniversary, a small buttercup flower dried and pressed into the framed picture; another photo, this one from your birthday, the guys surrounding you in a group hug, and Seokjin staring from the distance, his eyes glimmering with something your mouth will never speak.

You were slowly spiralling into despair when you heard the door unlock.

Dread grabbed your insides and twisted them tight, your hands unconsciously snatching the bag, switching off the lights before you tried to run out of your room, hoping it was just a projection of your exhausted brain.

It wasn’t.

There, on the entry mat stood Seokjin, drenched head to toe.

You stared at each other for a second.

“Hi.” He said.

He looked a mess. “Are you alright?”

He bent forward, his hands on his knees, his chest heaving with laboured breathing as he shook his head.

He knelt on the floor.

He shook his head some more.

You stood paralysed in front of him.

“I could use a friend.” He whispered, right before you dropped your bag and fell to your knees right in front of him, pressing his face to your chest. “You said you would never leave me alone. You promised.” He sobbed, hugging you to his body. “You promised.” He repeated, your clothes getting wet as they touched his.

“I’m sorry Jinnie. I’m so sorry, honey.” You replied, tearing up yourself. “Come in, let’s get you warm and dry.”

He refused. “Don’t go.”

“I’m not going, Jinnie. Come in.” You spoke softly.

“Swear on your cocoa that you won’t leave.” He required.

“I swear on the cocoa, now please come in, I don’t want you to catch a cold, Jin. Please.”

Reluctantly he followed your lead.

“You should get changed.” You said, cupping his cheek as the two of you stood one in front of the other.

His skin felt too hot.

“I don’t want to get you out of my sight.” He said, hugging you again.

You were both drenched by now. “We both need to get changed.”

He pouted. “You get in the bathroom. I wait outside. I can get changed while you’re in.” He said, sure that you were too smart — and too lazy — to jump out of the window.

“I won’t run.” You said, trying to reassure him.

“What if you change your mind?” He insinuated with an accusing, hurt tone.

You gave up. “Okay, I’ll get changed in the bathroom.” You conceded, grabbing your duffel bag and walking in the room, closing the door behind you.

You changed quickly, trying to show him you were invested in staying as little away from him as possible.

“I’m ready.” You called, waiting to open the door. You didn’t want to see something you weren’t meant to.

“Yes, you can come out.” He said.

As you opened the door, the first thing you noticed was his bare chest, wide, immense before your eyes.

You averted your gaze as he slipped on a sweater. He hugged you again. “I’m cold.” He murmured.

Your heart couldn’t handle that. “Let’s get on the sofa.”

“I don’t have a blanket anymore.” He said, looking at you with eyes so big, so lost and emotional.

You shook your head and entered his bedroom, grabbing his comforter carelessly. “Let’s go.”

He smiled and followed you, sitting down and dragging you onto his lap.

“Seokjin.” You reprimanded, thinking of the last time you had seen him.

“What?” He asked, fixing the covers around the two of you, holding you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe.

“What about Grace.” You said, not even a question, just a distant, unemotional statement.

“No more. I left her, Buttercup.” He said, nuzzling his nose into your hair. “I left her.”

You smelled so good.

You always smelled so good.

He kissed your neck. You tasted good too.

“Jinnie.”

“We’ll talk in the morning. I just need to sleep next to you. Please, Buttercup.” He begged, so tired and so adorably undeniable.

“Let’s sleep then.”

----------------------------------------------

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7 (7/7)

#kim seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bangtanhq #thetruthuntoldnet #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #Baker!seokjin #bts fanfiction #bts blog #Seokjin flatmates!Au #seokjin friends to lovers

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monty-after-hours · 4 years ago

Text

A Hallway Away

summery: yoongi has been your neighbor for a while now but you’re not sure if roses and wine are a good combination.

Sunday night and the windows had been opened, letting the cool gentle breeze snake in. The indigo worn out record player by the window softly played drowning out the restless buzz of the city. As she lost herself to the music she could feel the warmth of the midnight city lights pour into the apartment and quietly illuminate the place. She stood in front of full length windows with only a lush, soft blanket that draped around her shoulders leaving them exposed. The warm city lights glowed on her golden skin making her seem ethereal. She stood still as she contemplated her life and how it had turned out. She was waiting for her hot chocolate to heat up so she could grab a cup and nestle herself on the pile of pillows she had laid out earlier by her favorite window, the one with the view that reminded her of simpler times.

Her trance was interrupted by a knock on her door, which she was certain she already knew who it was waiting for her on the other side. She tightened the blanket around her body taking a moment to compose herself and made her way to the door. She took a peek through her door and immediately smirked to herself as she kept her gaze on her neighbor from across the hallway. Yoongi was a gorgeous man, his black hair mixed with the night sky making it seem like waves amongst the stars, and his soft features could put anyone in a trance. Lips as soft as clouds and eyes so deep they could almost hold galaxies within them. To be quite honest it was hard for people to resist such beauty and she was no exception. It wasn’t love at first sight, she had fallen for the man after months of knowing him and many late night talks. After she was finished reminiscing about her love for him she opened the door enough to poke her head out to talk to him.

“Hey stranger, what brings you here tonight?” A small smirk appeared on her face as she waited for him to respond.

He simply looked at her and raised a bottle of wine with his hand along with a single red rose. “Therapy session.”

She stared at him like a fool in love would. She remembered when he first started bringing her roses, it was after he had moved in and had started spending some time at her home getting to know each other. He had noticed the small rose bush that laid by her record player. She had tried taking care of it but it never seemed to bear any fruit. He decided then to buy her a single rose every time he went to visit her to help bring life to her apartment.

“Let me in?” He said to her while slightly tilting his head to lay it on the door. She instantly stared at him again and hesitated.

“Sure, just wait a minute here.” She went to close the door but a hand quickly stopped her from doing so.

“What? Why?” Worry was written on his face and body as she took notice of his shifting from one foot to the other.

“I just need to prepare something, that's all.” She looked at him uneasily and tried to hide her body from his view, shifting awkwardly behind the door.

“Whatever it is, it’s fine! Just let me come in, please?”

“Yoongi, it’s just a second! Just wait here.” Desperation was starting to arise in her and the tone of her voice was further proof of it.

“Come on! I just need to talk to you about something that's been on my mind for awhile now and it can't wait anymore. Plus the wine is getting hot.” He looked at the wine and then back at her with a raised eyebrow and his free hand on the door.

She had started to lose patience and had forgotten of her hot drink on top of her stove that was now bubbling furiously. Yoongi’s whines and impatience only added to her stress and embarrassment. She closed her eyes in an attempt to calm down the growing ringing and spinning inside her head but it was no help. Yoongi kept trying to convince her and lightly pushing the door just a bit to be able to slip in. He suddenly lifted his hand from the door and with slightly wide eyes let his body slump as he asked her.

“Is there someone else with you there?” She looked up at him startled with furrowed brows and opened her mouth as she stared at him.

“What? No! It’s just that-”

“Just what? Let me in then!”

“Just give me a second!”

“Let me-” He was interrupted by the brisk movement of her hand reaching around the door to have a good grip of it. Once she did, she jerked the door open forcefully and stood in front of him, in full view to him.

“Yoongi! I just need to put clothes on. I am naked underneath this and it's embarrassing…” Her blanket had slid down enough to reveal her shoulders and the top of her breasts.

Yoongi stood in his place making no attempt to move from where he stood. He stared at her with slight shock on his face but quickly composed himself and fixed his posture. He lifted his free hand to her waist and carefully pushed her and himself inside the apartment and closed the door with his foot. As he stood in front of her, he took a second to look at her again before moving to the kitchen and setting the bottle of wine and rose down, removing the chocolaty mess from the ruined stove top.

He leaned against the stove counter and took a few deep breaths before fixing his hair and popping the wine bottle open. He poured two glasses of the rich red wine and turned around to hand one glass to his neighbor expecting her to be standing where he left her, only to find her sitting in the pile of pillows by her window. The dim lights reflecting off her shoulders made it seem as if she was glowing. He had never seen such an alluring woman before, the way her hair framed her face perfectly and her golden skin that seemed to glow.

Yoongi slowly made his way to where she was seated and quietly knelt behind her. He could stay like this for an eternity admiring her but he decided there would be time for that later. He carefully leaned into her back feeling her tense up, but just as quickly relax. He reached around her, moving into view the glass of wine he poured for her. She looked back at him over her shoulder and took the glass of wine from his hand taking a sip from it. She turned back around and took a deep breath before speaking up.

“I’m gonna go and put some clothes on, I’ll be right back Yoongi.” As she was about to get up and make her way to her room she felt a smooth pair of lips on her shoulder making her freeze where she was. She glanced back at the man behind her as he continued to kiss her body.

“I came here tonight because I know you like me, you told me so one night where we drank a bit too much. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass you.” He whispered to her and he kissed her shoulder again, not breaking the eye contact they had established.

The color of her face had changed to that similar of the rose he had brought with him. She looked at him in a trance, with nothing in mind, but simply taking in his beauty and how wonderful his kisses felt on her skin. She couldn’t believe she was being witness to his lips cherishing her skin so intimately.

“I would also be lying if I said I had no feelings for you. The thought of you being with someone else keeps me awake at night, I will prove to you that I am worthy of your love if you give me the chance. My sweet girl, every time I see you, you leave me breathless forcing me to learn how to breathe as if it was the first time.”

The woman’s breath hitched in the back of her throat as she slowly reached up to touch his face. “Yoongi…” She tried to talk but simply nothing came to her mind. She was in a state of shock and bliss due to the man that was pressed against her back. Her mind had completely shut down by this point as she kept staring at him with adoration in her gaze. She finally twisted herself around to face him as the words easily slipped out.

“I want to be yours. Make me yours Yoongi.”

After a few seconds of quiet, she finally processed what she had let slip out and simply let the brightest smile she had within herself to come out. His eyes could light up the place with the happiness that stirred within him. Smiling at her he planted one more kiss to her shoulder before getting up and walking away.

“Wait there. Don’t move.”

She followed his orders and watched as he went back to the kitchen as he looked for something there. A few seconds later he made his way to her again with the single rose he had brought her in hand. He went around her standing between the window and her, facing her. He looked down at her as a smirk formed in his soft lips. Kneeling down with the rose in his hand, he looked up at her with serious eyes, gently traced the top of her breasts with the rose making her shiver and seductively whispered to her two words.

“Show me.”

This was originally posted on my ao3 account

Should I make a part 2??

Thanks for reading ( ˘ ³˘)♥

#min yoongi #suga x reader #suga x you #suga imagine #suga oneshot #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi imagine #yoongi oneshot #yoongi fanfic #oneshot #slight smut #bts imagines #bts oneshot

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miikrokkosmos · 5 years ago

Text

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, angst, coffee shop!au, college!au, best friend!au, shy/awkward!reader (they say to write what you know)

word count: 6.3k

summary: “Yoongi begrudgingly rose to his feet and walked to behind the counter, but didn’t stop at the register, much to the chagrin of the young hipster man waiting to order his third iced Americano of the day. He instead went to the back and whipped out the biggest mug the coffee shop offered, and got to work on a drink that nobody ordered. By this point, the whole line of customers had their eyes glued to him incredulously. “Oh, I’ll be with you all in a minute,” he said to them nonchalantly.” aka Yoongi and reader have been dancing around their feelings for each for far too long and something’s gotta give

a/n:hey guys! i’m still trying to figure out my writing style for my bts characters. but i hope you enjoy, and as always, any feedback, ideas, and/or constructive criticism would be indescribably appreciated! inbox currently open for requests, as well!

You hugged your sweater tighter around your torso as you settled into the hard plastic chair of the lecture hall to get ready for your favourite class of the week – your M/W/F late morning marketing class. Not that marketing was your concentration, or even one of your favourite topics to study…it just happened to be the one class you shared with your best friend, Min Yoongi. Not a day passed by without you thanking the heavens above that marketing basics was something required for your business major, as well as Yoongi’s music production degree. It worked out perfectly. Almost as perfectly as when Yoongi had gotten an assistant manager job at the café you spent all of your study hours in (as well as your free personal hours, if you were being honest).

Fresh off the morning shift at said coffee shop, Yoongi’s face poked through the door with minutes to spare, fluffy black hair flying in every direction as he tried to keep two coffee cups in his hands from slushing over their brims. You hustled to lift your heavy backpack off the chair next to you, dutifully saved for him every time. He gave you a warm smile and slid one of the paper cups towards you, gently patting your head as he sits in his chair. You excitedly grabbed the cup and brought the side to your eyes to read WCM scrawled across the side. You eyed him sneakily as you raised the cup to your lips. “White chocolate mocha? You’re trying to make me fat, aren’t you?”

“Don’t act like it’s not your favourite,” he threw out. “Besides, we needed to have matching drinks,” he said, twirling his own cup around to show you the matching sharpie label scrawled across the side.

“You’re really annoying, you know,” you mumbled, but couldn’t hide the grin stretching across your lips.

“You’re welcome for the free coffee, by the way, hand-poured by your favourite barista,” Yoongi drawled out, attempting to match your annoyed tone, but even more unable than you to make his visage match his tone.

He moved to take his notebook and textbook out of his bag, neatly arranging them on the desk in front of him. You eyed him fondly as he did so, enjoying the coziness spreading throughout your body from both the hot drink in your hands, as well as from the warmth that you naturally felt whenever you got to spend time with Yoongi. Even if that time was sometimes spent just slouching next to each other in the far back of a business lecture hall, passing the time by sharing memes and occasionally jotting down notes only when it seemed most important. In those moments, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

Which is precisely why you decided then and there that you had to do something, anything, to move on, to keep yourself from basing so much of your happiness in someone whose depth of feelings for you surely didn’t match your own of his.

_______________________________________________________________________

After finishing up your classes the next day, you headed to the café as usual to work on your homework, Yoongi working to keep up at his register in the background with the rush of rude customers coming in to order minutes before the café was officially closed. You couldn’t help but notice how every second girl attempts to flirt with him, pausing your music each time to listen in on their suggestive comments every time against your better judgement. Jealousy would boil in your veins every time, but you were usually able to calm down fairly quickly given the fact that Yoongi never, ever appeared to reciprocate. You didn’t know if he was completely oblivious, or if he just plain didn’t care for girls who blatantly asked for his number in the same breath as their latte order, but either way you appreciated it. Not that you truthfully had any right to appreciate it. It’s not like he ever flirted with you either.

Minutes later, after ushering everyone out of the café on time, Yoongi rushed over to you, placing both his hands on either side of your head, kneeling in front of you. “The place is finally ours again,” he said, rubbing soft circles into your temples, “and…we didn’t sell out of those big ass expensive cupcakes today. They have to be gone one way or another. Interested?”

You lightly place your hands on his wrists, still hovering by your face. “Do you really need me to answer that?”

_______________________________________________________________________

You found yourself not ten minutes later seated across from Yoongi at your tiny round table, quickly putting away your study materials to make room for two cups of tea, giant cupcakes topped with bountiful icing in tow.

“I don’t think that last group of customers appreciated being kicked out while I so blatantly overlooked you lounging in the corner,” Yoongi said, a grin finding its way to his lips.

You weren’t quite sure how to take that one. “Oh, well, I can start leaving earlier if you think it’s an issue…I never want to do anything that could chance getting you in trouble, you know that.”

Yoongi quirked a brow. “What? No, I’m kidding, _____. Besides, what are they gonna do about it? I’m here more often than the regular manager. I practically own the place,” he added, with a wink.

You giggled, trying to hide the bright pink dusting your cheeks by practically stuffing your whole face in the cupcake. Yoongi rolls his eyes as he reaches across and wipes off a dab of icing off the top of your lip under your nose, which did absolutely nothing for your already furious blush. You both laughed at each other for a moment, a beat passing between you as you catch each other’s eyes. Yoongi had a way with his eye contact. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, and there wasn’t a particular technique to it, it’s just the way he was. Something about it always felt so intense, but in a good way. It made you feel so…seen.

You felt a painful pang after you felt you had spent too much time gazing into his orbs, however, and soon looked off to the side. “So, I have something to say,” you started slowly, taking a big gulp to keep yourself from going further.

“Let me guess. You’ve decided to switch majors and we now have all of our classes together?”

“No, about my love life, actually.”

An expression flashed over Yoongi’s face that you couldn’t quite identify, but you didn’t have time to attempt to decode it. “Oh? How so?”

“Well,” you began, slowly pushing your teacup to the center of the table, “I think…I don’t know. I just feel like it’s a good time for me to be more open to looking for a relationship, maybe?”

“Oh. I didn’t know you were closed off to the idea before now, actually.”

“I mean, I wasn’t really. I just mean…I want to start being more intentional now about it, I guess? I didn’t really have time to think about it much the past couple years, with finishing my undergrad and then traveling around and working for a while.” AndbecauseI’vebeentooinlovewithyoutoconsiderdatinganyoneelse.“But now that I’m back in school and working on my master’s, and I know I’m gonna be here in one place for a while to finish that, I thought maybe it’d be a good time to look for something more serious, I guess?”

Yoongi was no longer even trying to make eye contact with you, his gaze firmly pointed at the empty cups in front of you both. “I mean, yeah. That makes sense,” he said rather quietly, throwing his head into a quick firm nod, as if to make up for the firmness he lacked in his voice.

“Yeah. So I think I’m going to break down and finally try a dating app.” You try to force yourself to look more excited about the prospect than you actually feel.

Yoongi threw a hand behind his head, ruffling up his already messy hair. “Ah, I see. You know, from most people I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear that, but that isnews coming from you.”

“I know, I know,” you say as you let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m nervous.”

“Well, it’s a brave thing to put yourself out there,” Yoongi said, offering a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

You nodded to him, rising to pick up your dirty dishes to bring to the café’s counter behind you.

“Hey, that’s my job,” Yoongi whined after you, which you completely brushed off.

You walk up behind him, letting your hands drop to his shoulders. You begin kneading in a massaging motion, causing him to drop his head down onto his chest. “Ready to go home and study for the marketing exam?” you quietly ask.

He tenses and raises his head back up, standing to his feet, causing your hands to drop back down to your sides. “Would you mind if we pushed that to tomorrow, actually? I have to sort through some stuff in the money room here that I forgot about, probably will take a good while.”

“Oh. Okay then, tomorrow it is,” you say, tipping your head in thanks when he hoists your backpack around your shoulders. You give him a quick hug before turning to walk towards the door.

“Hey, _____?” Yoongi calls out after you.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks…just thanks for being open and vulnerable with me and telling me about your thoughts and feelings. I know it’s not easy to do.”

Ouch.

“Of course, Yoongi. That’s what best friends are for.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Your study session with Yoongi the next day lasted all but fifteen minutes before you had both given into the temptation of moving from the stiff kitchen chairs to the enveloping coziness of his couch, marathoning episodes of your current favourite tv show all afternoon instead. Although you had begun the show by sitting upright next to each other, the sleepier you became, the more your body involuntarily decided to crawl into Yoongi’s welcoming hold. You eventually fell asleep with his arm around you, head tucked gently into his neck, television buzzing lowly in the background.

You woke up what must have been several hours later, almost feeling overheated by how absolutely entangled you and Yoongi were in each other: legs mixed up in each other, a protective hand pulling you closer to his chest rising up and down in soft breaths, and a plaid blanket that was strewn across you sometime after your eyes had first fallen shut. Not that you could complain, though. Settings such as this were where you felt truly the safest, and most at peace.

As slow as possible, you hoisted the blanket off of yourselves and attempted to extricate yourself from Yoongi without waking him. But the second he noticed in his drowsy state that you, his source of warmth and comfort, had been ripped from his hold, his eyes snapped open with a start.

“Don’t get up,” you whispered in a soothing voice, hoping to coax him back into his comfy position. “I didn’t mean to stay so late, sorry.” You walked over to the kitchen area to pick up your study materials you had left strewn about the table.

Ignoring your instructions, Yoongi picked himself up and sauntered over to stand next to you, your hips touching. “You can stay, you know,” he said in a raspy voice still full of sleep, gently placing a hand atop your own to stop you from continuing to pack up.

You glanced up to meet his eyes as you contemplated his offer. It wasn’t like you hadn’t accidentally stayed over before, late night study sessions and movie nights never ending and never moving from his couch in time to beat the sun rising. It also wasn’t as if you didn’t desperately want to spend more time with the boy, especially if that time involved reverting back to your previous position of having your bodies tightly snuggling into each other under a woolen blanket on his oversized couch. It’s just that you really didn’t know if your heart could handle that any longer.

“No. No, thank you. Thank you though. But no,” you awkwardly stuttered out, dropping your gaze almost as quickly as you rescued your hand from his tender grasp to snap the straps on the front of your backpack.

“Oh. Okay,” he said, and did his eyes look…sad?, “But text me when you get home. It’s getting pretty late.”

You nodded dutifully at him as he reached over your shoulders to grab your bag, lifting it over your shoulders and patting it twice for good measure. “I will.”

This was clearly the moment you were supposed to leave, but somehow you were both kept standing there in front of each other, stubbornly refusing to be the first to move. He looked down at you through his shaggy bangs, eyes still not fully open as the not-so-distant promise of sleep tried to pull at his eyelids, lips pressed together in a maddeningly adorable pout, and you were sure in that moment that you had never before seen him look so beautiful. You had definitely never before had such a pulling feeling in your gut that was just begging you to reach forward, just a few inches more, to capture his soft strands in your fingers, and pull his delicate mouth against your own.

In the midst of unknowingly staring at his lips, you felt his hand reach down to grab your own, slipping his fingers in between the spaces that always felt like were made to house his digits perfectly.

You only noticed how your close your faces had become when you felt the heat dancing on your cheeks, causing you to once again unceremoniously yank your hand from Yoongi’s. “Okay, I will, I’ll text when I get home. Okay. Bye. Goodbye,” you stumble out, fiercely making your way to the door. The last thing you see as you pull the door shut behind you is Yoongi still standing in the middle of the kitchen, eyes trained on his still outstretched hand, dangling empty above his floor.

_______________________________________________________________________

As you sat in class the next morning, backpack saving the seat next to you, you did everything in your power to think about absolutely anything other than Yoongi. You didn’t have enough time, however, to focus on any one thing for too long before the man in question hopped into the seat next to you, placing a warm, handcrafted beverage in front of you. Once again, “WCM” was printed into the side in his tiny, meticulous handwriting.

“I brought your favourite again today,” he offered, a smile in his voice.

You brought the drink to your lips, a grateful smile on your face, but unable to meet his eyes. “So, I’m actually talking to someone on that dating app already.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m surprised. Most of the guys on there are as gross and vulgar as can be, but this guy is actually talking to me like I’m a real person.” You tried to sound excited. You tried to make your little chuckle sound convincing. Whether your efforts were more for you or for Yoongi though, you weren’t sure.

“Ah, well that’s exciting. And most guys are gross.”

“Yeah. Wanna see a picture of him?”

“No,” Yoongi said, probably faster than he intended. “I trust your judgment. I’m sure he’s very good-looking.”

You looked up to Yoongi at that, but his gaze was trained on the PowerPoint on the back wall, refusing to meet your eyes.

_______________________________________________________________________

Later that night, you found yourself on your balcony having an evening cup of tea with your roommate, Kelsey, who knew your relationship with Yoongi probably better than anyone. You inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to ward off some of the stress of your current situation, the burnt orange sunset reflecting off your face.

“I just can’t continue on like I’ve been going,” you practically whine. “It’s getting to a point where it’s almost painful to be around him. And I don’t want to ruin the friendship I’ve built with him because I got greedy with my affection or something.”

“Well, I’m not saying that I’m not in support of you talking with your dating app boy,” Kelsey began, “But having feelings for someone does not mean you’re being greedy, _____. And you know I’m not convinced Yoongi doesn’t have feelings for you.”

You placed your head in your hands and groaned before sitting back up in your rocking chair. “You always say that, but let’s be real. We’ve known each other for several years now. If Yoongi really wanted me he would’ve said something by now.”

“The same could be said about you though, couldn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes at that. “I’m too shy. I’m not good at being open about my feelings. Yoongi knows that better than anyone.”

“But isn’t Yoongi quiet and shy as well? Particularly when it comes to his true feelings on things? At least, that’s what you’ve said before.”

“Yeah. I mean…yeah, but still.”

Kelsey nudged your knee with her own. “Hey. I just want to see you happy. You know that. And you also know I think Yoongi is a great guy, and I’ll never be convinced he doesn’t feel something for you. But I’m gonna support you doing whatever you think will make you the most happy. And if that means moving on from Yoongi, then go for it.”

You gave her a small, sad smile. “I don’t think I have much of a choice.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Once classes were finished the next day, you spent your evening time at your usual table at the cafe going over homework. There was a bit of a lull in the traffic of customers at this point, so Yoongi took the opportunity to just sit with you for a while.

“I don’t know what to be doing with myself at this point, Yoongi. We talked on the phone for a little bit today, and I was so awkward. He said he liked my accent though, so I guess that’s a good thing?” Yoongi nodded to this, offering a small smile. “I think it went well. But I’m getting terrified at the idea of meeting him in person.”

“Why?” Yoongi cocked an inquisitive brow.

“You know me, Yoons. I’m shy enough over text, but much more so meeting people in person.”

You noticed a couple of customers walking towards the counter, and nodded your head towards them so Yoongi could take notice. He turned around, and immediately rose from his chair. He walked closer to you until he was a foot in front of you. “Just remember to be yourself, _____, and if he doesn’t fall head over heels for you he’s a complete dumbass, because you’re perfect.” Right as he finished his sentence, he quickly dipped down to place a kiss to your forehead, before skipping back over to behind the counter to serve his customers.

You were left sitting in your seat, your lips forming an “o”, completely unprepared for the sudden public display of affection from your best friend. The only thing your mind knew in that moment was that the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t let you sit still for a moment longer.

You rose to your feet, grabbed your stuff, and called out a quick “Have to go now!” to Yoongi. His eyes were ripped away from the customer whose order he was taking, and his legs rushed to meet you at the other side of the counter.

“Wait! Don’t forget your tea!” he practically shouted into the café, outstretched hand offering you a paper cup.

“I didn’t order tea…” you breathed out, but found your hands reaching for the drink all the same.

“Well, it’s still your tea.” Yoongi smiled, locking eyes with you for a few moments until his waiting customer loudly cleared her throat in the background, causing him to dejectedly walk back to the other side.

You pushed your way through the doors into the cold night, and took a sip of the welcoming warmth. Peppermint tea with vanilla steamed milk. Your favourite soothing, caffeine-free drink that you only treated yourself to nights before you had a big exam or stressful day ahead of you. A treat Yoongi usually insisted on making for you himself. At this point you weren’t sure whether you enjoyed and got so much comfort from that particular drink because of the drink itself, or because of its association with Yoongi. You also weren’t sure you really wanted to know the answer to that question.

_______________________________________________________________________

The next afternoon was spent comfortably sitting next to Yoongi at the campus library, catching up on studying for the marketing exam. Or at least attempting to, as your brain deemed it fit to focus entirely on the boy next to you instead of the thick textbook in front of you. You chewed on the strings of your hoodie, sneaking a glance here and there at Yoongi’s adorable focused expression whenever you felt you had the best chance of not being caught. Eventually you failed, however, causing Yoongi to take one of his AirPods out once he saw your face studying him.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked.

“Uh, so…he asked me out! To your café, actually.” “What?” Yoongi asked, and ripped out the remaining AirPod.

“Yeah. I want to do it when you’re not working though,” - you attempted to throw out a giggle – “So what’s your schedule like tomorrow?”

Yoongi scrunched up his face, as if he couldn’t comprehend the simple information you were giving him. “You’re going out with him? The guy from the dating app?”

“Well, it’s a date. Just to meet up in real life and see how it goes. I’m really nervous…but you said it’s good, right? To be ‘vulnerable’, and put myself out there?” You gave him a wide-eyed, questioning glance.

Yoongi broke your gaze, and dragged his eyes to his clasped hands settling on the table in front of him. “I just close shop tomorrow,” he said quietly, as he dragged a hand through his hair.

“Okay, well I’ll suggest early evening, give us enough time. I just don’t want to look over my shoulder and accidentally lock eyes with you and think of an inside joke and laugh in his face, thus ruining any chance of a good first impression,” you tried to reason good-naturedly, though your smile didn’t meet your eyes.

“Makes sense,” Yoongi said.

You grinned as you reached over and gently punched Yoongi in the shoulder. He did not respond. _______________________________________________________________________

Yoongi entered the café for his closing shift with a sulk on his face, tying his apron perhaps a little tighter than he usually did. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, when he noticed you still sitting at your usual table in the back of the café. He didn’t expect to find you still there, but he most definitely didn’t think he’d find you there sitting alone.

Upon moving closer, he happened to notice that the gloomy expression on your face was rivaling his own. He gently walked towards you, wordlessly coming to a stop right in front of you, hoping your eyes would meet his own.

Although you took notice of the quiet boy standing in front of you, you continued to scroll mindlessly through your phone, refusing to look up for fear of your current emotions betraying your vulnerability. “So! He didn’t show, stopped answering any messages about an hour before he was supposed to show, and probably has no intention of ever answering messages from me again anyway. I was right, I should have trusted myself, online dating sucks butts.” Your tone was firm and final, and your eyes still refused to meet Yoongi’s.

You sensed him standing awkwardly still for a few moments, unsure of how to react to you, but you couldn’t blame him. You eventually sensed him dropping to his knees on the floor right in front of you, most likely dirtying his apron in the process. Strong, gentle hands were placed on either side of your face, physically dragging your focus away from your phone and onto your best friend’s face.

“What are you do – don’t look at me like that, Yoongi.”

You couldn’t stand the pitiful look he was giving you. If your heart wasn’t already heavy that night, it was at that moment being crushed to pieces.

“I’m not a hurt puppy, Yoongi…I’m just frustrated, is all. I didn’t really like him all that much anyway,” you said, trailing the last bit off into a mumble.

“Angel,” Yoongi breathed out.

You quirked an eyebrow at the endearment. Why did he have to make everything so much…harder?

“You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

As if on cue, the final rush of customers seemed to be gathering by the counter all at once, some of their eyes pointedly trained on Yoongi. You grasped Yoongi’s hands to take them off your face. “You have customers again,” you said, nodding your head behind you.

Yoongi begrudgingly rose to his feet and walked to behind the counter, but didn’t stop at the register, much to the chagrin of the young hipster man waiting to order his third iced Americano of the day. He instead went to the back and whipped out the biggest mug the coffee shop offered, and got to work on a drink that nobody ordered. By this point, the whole line of customers had their eyes glued to him incredulously. “Oh, I’ll be with you all in a minute,” he said to them nonchalantly.

Although you pretended to focus on your phone and not know what was going on, your insides lit up when he walked over and laid the drink down in front of you, extra whipped cream spilling over the side. You had half a mind to just reject it and leave, not wanting to have to face Yoongi any longer that night, but you couldn’t make yourself budge. “You really are trying to make me fat.” Yoongi laid a tiny pat on your head and made his way back to the counter. Feeling deflated, you sunk down even further into your seat, and decided to drown your sorrows in the tub-sized white chocolate mocha in front of you.

By the time Yoongi had rounded everyone up and out of the shop, you were so deep in your thoughts you had no concept of the time until you heard the lock on the door click, leaving you and Yoongi alone once more. A position you really didn’t trust yourself to be in in that moment. Before he had even fully made his way over to you, you had stood up, hastily rushing your dirty cup over to the counter and running back to pick up your phone and the bag you had thrown aside as soon as you knew your date wasn’t showing.

“You know you don’t have to leave yet,” he called out softly to you.

You pushed your chair back into the table, your back still turned to him.

“_____.”

You still had to force yourself to ignore him, running a hand through your hair as you surveyed the area to make sure everything was in place before you left. You knew he didn’t deserve to be treated in such a confusing manner, but you also knew what you had to do to keep yourself together in that moment.

Before you could make your break for the door, however, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist in a loving manner, and a warm face nudging gently into your neck as his chin laid over your shoulder. “I’m sorry about today. Truly.”

You couldn’t do it anymore. You swung out of his grasp and around to face him, tears stinging at your eyes. He gingerly reached out again, this time stroking your hair. “Hey,” he cooed, “You’re gonna be okay.” You scrunched up your face and looked down to your feet, causing the first silent tear to swim down your cheek. How could he be so…good,but so oblivious to what his actions did to you?

“You’re crying?”

You push against his chest to try to bring some distance between yourselves, so you could move around him and finally go home to your bed safe from boys who ghost you and from boys who fill your heart to the brim with unrequited love. “No, really it’s okay, just stop being so nice to me, please, Yoongi.”

A concerned expression graces Yoongi’s face as he cups your face in his palms for the second time that night. “What?”

“Please stop,” was all you could weakly muster out, pushing against him again. This time his hands fell limply to his side, and you took your escape out into the night, once again leaving him in a dejected confusion.

_______________________________________________________________________

You couldn’t bring yourself to get up to go to class the next morning, especially not marketing, especially especially not when you were supposed to save someone a seat in that class. You saw a notification come up on your laptop that you had one attendance point for today, and laughed, realizing it was the only time you had skipped class all semester. Maybe the first time in college, come to think of it. And all because of your best friend.

You were mindlessly flipping through tv channels when you realized you had a voicemail from Yoongi, voice full of worry, telling you about how sorry he is about that dumb guy, how much better you deserve, and whether or not he could drop by with the class notes from today for you.

You felt guilty enough to force yourself to compose a quick text just to let him know you were okay and that you’d see him in class the following Monday, but felt a ball of anxiety knot in the pit of your stomach when his immediate reply to your text was simply “come down please”.

You inch over to your curtains, pulling them back just a smidgen to look out, and there it was – Yoongi’s white car, parked directly in front of the staircase to your apartment.

You threw your favourite grey hoodie over yourself and tiptoed out of the apartment, trying not to alert Kelsey, who was getting ready for class. You took a deep breath when you began walking down the stairs, bracing yourself for whatever was ahead.

When you got to his car, Yoongi leaned over to open the passenger door for you, welcoming you into the warmth of his car. Two cups of coffee and a bag of steaming breakfast sandwiches lay on the dash, Yoongi ever the provider.

You sat in the seat next to him, and eyed him carefully for a moment, neither one of you offering to speak yet. Eventually, Yoongi nervously reached a hand over to cradle the back of your hand that was rested on your knee. “I just don’t understand it.”

“Understand what?”

“How a man could be brave enough to ask you out and then not follow up on it. The logic of that is beyond me. And –“ he held a finger up with his free hand – “I know it must be a blow to the ego. But, _____, please don’t let yourself dwell on it. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time or thoughts. You do deserve someone who takes care of you.”

You shook your head. “Yoongi, please stop talking about that stupid boy. I keep telling you, I don’t care about him. It was just a minor frustration.” You felt the familiar sting of hot tears rising to your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that week. Using your free hand, you quickly brushed away the beginnings of any that threatened to slip out.

“I know you’re hurt…” he said, ever so gently.

“Yes! I’m hurting!” you yelped in his face, maybe a little too loudly.

“And it hurts me to see you like this! I need to know how to help!” Yoongi’s tone easily matched yours in passion, but he could never bring himself to actually raise his voice. Especially not to you.

He tried to interlace his fingers with yours, but you pull your hand back. The anguished expression on his face at your rejection was just enough to push your tears over the edge, and they once again flowed freely.

“Stop hurting me then! We can’t keep going like this, Yoons, I care about you too much, I…I –“ you trailed off almost at the point of hyperventilation, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to do anything to keep yourself calm.

The shock on Yoongi’s face was unlike anything you’d seen on him before. He was almost to the point of tears himself now. “What? Angel, am I hurting you somehow? You have to tell me, I love you, the last thing in this life I want to do is hurt you…”

“I love you too! But not in the way you think! And I’m sorry, I’ve tried so, so hard to not think about it and, and to just move on but. I can’t! I fucking love you, Yoongi!” You didn’t try to scream it out as loudly as you did. But there it was. Out there now, and it couldn’t be taken back…there was no mistaking your feelings this time. You couldn’t bear to see what would come next, and buried your face in your arms as you sobbed your heart out.

If Yoongi’s shocked silence was any more deafening, your ear drums would’ve burst. It took way too long for an eventual soft “Hey…” to roll of his tongue.

“Stop crying.”

You kept your head hidden, sobbing onto your own arms.

“I love you too…I mean it. I’ve tried to show it to you for years, but I just wasn’t brave enough to say it, oh my god I love you so much, oh my gosh please stop crying you’re breaking my heart – “

Your heard whipped up now, puffy red eyes meeting his own swollen ones. “What are you talking about?”

“I. Love. You.”

You knew you probably should’ve stopped crying as loudly at that point, but you couldn’t. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Yoongi whipped the arm rest backward to remove the only barrier from between you two, and pushed his chair till it went as far back as it could go. “Come here,” he said, patting his own chest.

You took the hand he offered out to you, awkwardly trying to maneuver yourself over to him. You sat facing him, straddling his lap, and he pulled your sniffling form tight into his warm chest. “Please don’t be sad anymore,” he whispered into your hair, hand rubbing soothing circles into your back.

You pushed off of him to bring yourself to an upright position so that you could see his face. He looked so beautiful, eyes staring at you full of emotion, his delicate hand thumbing at the hair on the nape of your neck. Your head still swam with all of the new information it was trying to hold, but for the first time in a long while, you truly felt like everything was going to be okay. He leaned forward and rubbed his nose against yours, barely touching it. You tilted your head up to place a gentle kiss on the tip of his button nose.

He let out a soft giggle – music to your ears - and gently placed a palm on your cheek. He rested his forehead against your head, but kept his eyes fully open and trained on yours. “So…is there any chance you’d like to be my girlfriend?”

You nodded and giggled like a silly schoolgirl, but were cut off by his warm lips pressing against your own. You were caught off guard at first, but soon melted into the kiss, becoming putty under his touch.

A few seconds later he pulled away, not wanting to overwhelm you, but you were having none of that. Your fingers curled around the collar of his hoodie, dragging him back to you as soon as you caught your breath. Just like you had dreamed about so many times before, you let your fingers tangle in his dark locks and twisted them accordingly. The small groan of appreciation he let slip out of the back of his throat was all the encouragement you needed to melt into him further. You felt him push against your shoulders, leaning backward until a loud “HONK” sounded from the horn under you, causing you to break apart with a jolt. Yoongi hugged you back into his body with a chuckle, leaning backwards against his seat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, and placed a soft kiss under his jaw.

“Maybe we should try to make it to our last classes of the day,” he said with a laugh, the reverberations in his chest rumbling against your hand that was laid there.

“Maybe we should,” you said, peppering his jaw with gentle kisses.

_______________________________________________________________________

Twenty minutes later, you were being driven to class, Yoongi’s right hand intertwined with your left, resting against your lap. You felt your phone buzz and checked to see an attachment text from Kelsey. You opened it with curiosity, to find a photo she had evidently snapped on the way to her car earlier.

You on Yoongi, front seat of his car, making out like high schoolers. The caption? “Happy for u”.

You were happy for you, too.

#yoongi x reader #bts fluff #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #suga x reader #pls even if you have notes on how i can make his character or something #any and all feedback is so appreciated!!#also please forgive my master list and blog still under construction #my stuff #pt #yoongi

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youarejesting · 5 years ago

Text

Femme: 29

[MASTERLIST]

Recap: Work is finished for the year. After yet another mishap walking home, Joon asked to speak with you. He had been stressed from a big case at work so you decided to try and relieve him. A blow job later, you visited Yoongi’s home studio and he helped you finish before helping himself. Jimin returned home, dinner with the fam. Once they leave you decided it is a good time to talk about your kinks and preferences as a group.

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader

Rating: Mature Themes.

Warnings: Smut, Oral, Blow job, Squirting, Masturbation, daddy/baby girl, praise kink, voyeurism, exhibitionism, group sex, first time, deep throat, over stimulation, forced orgasm (if you squint really hard across a football field, you might see some Yoonmin), (if you turn your head ninety degree’s and shut your left eye, and then shut the right you might read some KookieMonster/NamKook), (If you shake your head back and forth and wave your hand in front of your face between you and your phone you might read some dirty talk)

Length: 4.2k words

Announcement: I just picked some standard kinks from a website that I thought weren’t too crazy or too boring.

“Alright well let’s go to the table and do this seriously, because it is going to be a long discussion” You breathed heading to your room to collect your paper. When you stepped out you saw Yoongi making coffee and hot chocolate while Jungkook was putting out some snacks.. You decided to sit at the head of the table and Namjoon took the opposite with his laptop. Looking around you started addressing some issues. “Nobody is allowed to make fun of, laugh or shame anyone for anything, feel free to add anything to your lists whilst we sit here because if I hear something that sounds interesting. I won’t hesitate to add it to my list.”

“What if something in our ‘Yes’ column is in your ‘No’ column” Hoseok looked pretty nervous, you reached over the table taking his hand. Telling them all that everything is subject to change. They all seemed a little nervous looking around wondering who was going to read theirs first.

“Well I guess I will start, just so you can get an idea, let’s begin with the ‘Yes’ column. Everything leading to sex is not only okay but I would say required, that includes kissing and touching foreplay business” They all nodded, you could see Jungkook and Seokjin’s neck and ears going red. Namjoon was typing on his laptop agreeing with your words. “Oral both giving and receiving. Threesomes and group sex. Voyeurism and exhibitionism. Bondage and rough sex, both being tied and tying my partner up sounds fun. Female domination now i’m not saying I am good at it, but I am comfortable with trying it.”

Pausing letting your words sink in. The boys were shifting in their seats looking anywhere but at one another and fiddling with their paper. You smiled when you caught Namjoon’s eyes across the table, he nodded for you to continue.

“Dirty talk and trying Experimental positions. Impact play, more specifically the idea of spanking seems fun, I don’t know about paddles or whips and I would currently at this moment limit the area’s of impact to my thighs ass. Role Playing sounds like a lot of fun. Lingerie makes me feel very pretty so that would be a nice experience. Sensation play, like music, blind folds or feathers seems very sensual. Shibari and Kinbaku, sounds like something I want to try. Daddy/Baby Girl and Kitten play. Toys are welcome. And the one I really like the idea of but you all may not is watching you boys together”

You waited for Namjoon to catch up with typing and you looked at the boys who all looked a little weirded out at the mention of them being intimate with one another you giggled. A few however looked thoughtful contemplating the idea, but you didn’t let it linger for too long.

“Things that are in the ‘Maybe’ column as I am unsure if I will like them or they are something I would request you ask before trying and perhaps even ask before every time you wish to try. Include Anal Sex, Foot fetishism, Orgasm Control. Humiliation I may be fine with you calling me a degrading names but if you take it too far I might get upset. Gagging, I am scared I might actually vomit if you actively try but I am more than happy to try.”

“For The ‘No’ Column. Wax and Fire play, seems messy and dangerous. Electrostimulation. Water sports and Scat play. No way in hell am I wanting to use biological human waste in the bedroom it is messy and very unhealthy. But I would also like to say accidents happen and I understand that. I damn near cried when I thought I had peed myself this afternoon.”

“You were cute though, covering your face and apologizing. If it happens accidentally we would never be mad and we would still love you baby” Yoongi smiled up the table running his fingers along his bottom lip.

“What happened?” Jungkook asked trying to look between you and Yoongi.

“Namjoon was stressed so I gave him a blow job and Yoongi returned the favor to me, in the studio.” You said quietly and Taehyung’s mouth fell open.

“How was it?” Hoseok grinned asking Namjoon

“Amazing, better than anything you could dream of” Namjoon said “Women are amazing”

“She is so cute, and tastes amazing” Yoongi licked his lips moaning under his breath remembering the events from

“Very sensitive” Seokjin smiled

“You too?” Taehyung whined pointing at three of his hyungs “Baby bear me too, me too”

“Ya wait your turn I am the next oldest” Hoseok said and you laughed wholeheartedly at their argument over who got to be with you next.

“We only made out, with a bit of touching nothing more” Seokjin huffed “I should get a proper turn”

“I am not following a particular order. I am just living in the moment and trying to forget my worries about being intimate. If something feels good, I will try to let it happen, if I am not busy” You ran your hand through your hair watching them. They went around adding in new things they wanted to try, you added a few more to your list, your favorite was cock warming.

“That sounds lovely, I would love to fall asleep that way.” A few of them seemed to squirm once more at the thought. You had established a safe word, looking fondly at the bracelet around your wrist. The safe word was ‘Bangtan’ which made Jungkook’s heart fluttering.

“And that’s everyone” Namjoon smiled saving the document to an external hard drive so he doesn’t accidentally get it mixed with his work documents. He printed a copy for the filing cabinet, in his office.

“Well I am going to head to bed. Oh and I don’t work until after the New Year, Something about people not eating Ice Cream during Winter which is barbaric if you ask me?” You laughed trying to make your escape. Hoseok grabbed your arm pulling you onto his lap. You could feel how turned on he was just from the discussion. “Hey you can’t be selfish, if you do this in front of the boys you have to be willing to share”

“We can share, isn’t that right boys?” He grinned running his hands up the front of your shirt, standing up you slipped away from his wandering hands. He looked curious after you, hoping he didn’t offend or scare you but still smiling brightly as part of him could tell from your body language you were being playful.

You moved across the table to sit on Jungkook’s lap smiling at Hoseok. He pushed his tongue against his cheek at your action. The youngest was also sporting a rather large bulge in his pants and was rather flushed. Noticing their hungry eyes fall on you, a heavy feeling filled the room like a thick layer of pheromones calling out. Jungkook had his forehead pressed to your shoulder blade, panting heavily the hormones rushing to his head and frying his brain from all thoughts.

You were trying not to panic, your earlier promised to not worry was gone. This anticipation between the actions and words was hard to deal with. You weren’t in the moment enjoying yourself, you were worried about how to initiate this. They all seemed to be waiting for you to make a move or do something.

Busying yourself with cleaning up all the mugs from the table as nonchalantly as possible. Jungkook joined you packing away the snacks and throwing away any rubbish. “Kookie you should take a shower, you were working out”

“Don’t have too much fun without me?” He looked absolutely defeated his eyes turned down like a sad bunny, you could imagine ears flopping down by his head. Catching his arm before he could retreat down the hallway.

“We won’t do anything without you Jungkook” You assured him pulling him down for a kiss. He was quick to show enthusiasm and with all the practice he had every morning before work. He knew what you liked and wasn’t afraid to exploit it.

“Shower with me?” he whispered against your lips

“I can, but we have to invite the other boys too” you thought for a moment squeezing his biceps.

“What are you two plotting?” Hoseok huffed

“Anyone who wants to come for a shower, let’s go” he gave a boyish grin at his hyungs throwing you over his shoulder and smacking your butt. “Come on yeobo, your our leading lady”

“I am so dirty, I was traveling all day on the train” Jimin shot out of his seat.

“I should probably shower too” Seokjin said heading to the bathroom, you couldn’t see them anymore as Jungkook continued down the hall.

“You already had a shower?” Taehyung accused the older male, you were laughing as Hoseok snuck up behind Jungkook and gave you a kiss whilst you hung from the maknaes shoulder.

“I got sweaty making dinner, and it’s bad for my beautiful face to be sweaty” The older male said dramatically appearing in the hallway

You were placed down in the middle of the bathroom. Jungkook stepped back unsure. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon were the first to remove their shirts. Jungkook backed away behind the braver three, slowly pulling off his own shirt. Telling himself it was just like at the gym, some guys go shirtless when working out.

Yoongi noticed your expression stepping closer, turning your back to the boys to give you some privacy “Tell me what’s got you worried?” His eyes scanning your face, Yoongi had spent most of his life observing never really participating and he learnt a lot from, enough to know that you were worried.

“I am just nervous when everyone gives me time to think, If someone initiates this, I will be fine” You hummed it was stupid but you were just so unsure these were the boys you were to be with forever and you loved them to pieces, you didn’t want to ruin anything.

“Initiate how?” your cheeks flamed in embarrassment from his question, but he looked at you sincerely. His thumb brushing the pink tint on your cheek.

“Just if someone starts kissing me, I will be distracted and feel more confident to get undressed”

“Hoseok, c’mere” Yoongi’s Daegu accent slipped out and you licked your dry lips.

“I like your Daegu Satoori, it’s sexy” he nodded his mouth pressed together in a line Hoseok stopping beside you.

“I will keep that in mind kitten. Hobi, kiss her with everything you got” Yoongi slapped Hoseok’s ass. Hoseok reacted like he was a race horse at the starting gates. Lurching forward and pulling you in for a kiss. You kissed back feeling the anxiety melt away.

Yoongi stood behind you his cool fingers were unbuttoning your shirt, sliding the material off your shoulders kissing your exposed skin. “Our kitten is very shy, she says that she gets anxious when she has to initiate things, she likes to be distracted because that’s when she becomes most confident”

You began removing your jeans and Hoseok moved to your neck. In the mirror, you saw the boys watching each had removed their shirts. Yoongi and Namjoon were removing their trousers. You beckoned them all. Taehyung bounded over like a puppy turning in Hoseok’s arms. He enveloped you his big hands splayed across your back.

He dove in for a kiss and you met him enthusiastically, pulling off his shirt and letting your hands trace his body as you had with Hoseok. Taehyung started trying to remove your bra but was struggling, you couldn’t help giggling into his mouth.

He was pouting and whining about you laughing at him. Apologizing you reached behind you removing the offending brassier, tossing it behind Taehyung at the boys. His eyes widened comically and he froze staring at your breasts. A few of the other boys tried to look around Taehyung to get a glimpse.

The shower started running and it was then you noticed Yoongi had disappeared his clothes dumped onto the tiles where he once was standing. With a grin you ran your hand through your hair and headed to the shower opening the glass door, removing your underwear before stepping inside.

“Kitten you look delectable” Yoongi said under one of the many jets of water that seemed to come out from every angle. The shower seemed fitting for the eight of you. You stood under one of the water jets and wet your hair, the trickling of warm water eased your tense shoulders.

“I see why the shower is so big now” Namjoon muttered stepping into the shower. Making sure not to look down just yet. You didn’t want to freak any of them out by staring at their junk, “how else would we all fit”

Jungkook was pushed in by Hoseok who was massaging Jungkook’s shoulders telling him to relax. Jungkook’s hands covering himself, everyone followed like an impromptu conga line. He must have been rather nervous he was the youngest and had already told you he felt inferior to his hyungs. Walking over you place your hand on his back leading him to the warm water. Pulling him against you feeling, his boner pressed between you and his lower abdomen.

He kissed you like he would everyday at the park, his lips traveling to your neck you noticed all the guys watching and your thighs tightened around nothing. You had your work cut out for you. Seven hot blooded young men with healthy sex drives. You pressed him to sit on the built in shower seat, it was a long tiled bench that ran across the bottom half of the wall.

Dropping to your knees and breaking away from the kiss, you took him in your hand. He let out a small mewl at your touch his stomach muscles contracting. You saw him looking at the others nervously.

“Don’t look at us, look at her, trust me you won’t want to miss it” Namjoon sighed, placing his hand behind Jungkook’s head and tilting it to face back down. You moaned at the sight.

You kissed his lips and telling Jungkook what you wanted to do. “Is that okay?”

“Yes” he said breathless before correcting himself “Uh please if you want to”

He was so hard. Wrapping your fingers around his length, running your thumb over his head. You massage him slowly not in a teasing way but just fast enough for him to get used to the feeling, not wanting to rush him. Pumping his cock you lean down tasting the beads of precum that begin leaking with a long lap of your tongue. A groan gets caught in his throat for a second before rolling from his chest.

You finally feel like seven men isn’t such a challenge. Not when they make you feel so sexy. With your new found enthusiasm, you take him into your mouth trying not to send him over the edge just yet, but he is young and his groans become louder and more frequent. He bucks his hips and he can’t control himself burying himself deeply searching for warmth. You moan and try to relax feeling your gag reflex start to put up a fight but you breathed slowly through your nose and hummed trying to soothe the reaction.

Your nose was pressed against his pubic bone the burn in your throat was like drinking Yoongi’s whiskey. A few stray tears mixing with the water from the shower. Grabbing his hips trying to control his pace so you had adequate time to breathe between thrusts. He was close, growling an animalistic sound as he came. The sight of him coming undone, made your own arousal spill down your thighs.

He let you go, his body shuddering as he was calming down and you coughed slightly, noticing Namjoon watching him. You sat beside Jungkook, kissing his neck and whispering to him making sure what he had experienced was okay. Once you were sure everything had gone well you looked up at the six pairs of eyes staring down at you. The throbbing between your legs becoming almost painful. They had been watching you and judging by each of their hard members they had liked what they saw.

Some of them were languidly stroking their hard cocks, while others were trying not to spoil themselves instead patiently waiting their turn. Seokjin makes eye contact winking at you, he steps over when Jungkook shakily stands. Some of the guys complain that it should be your choice who is next and he turned.

“Who is the oldest me or you?”

“You” they chorused

“So who should go next me or you?”

“You” they chimed again

He turned to you a devilish smirk on his full lips, he kisses you before he slips onto the floor in front of you. You blush causing him to chuckle. “You are so amusing, one moment you are a fiery minx, and the next you are blushing looking so innocent” he smiled opening your legs, shuffling forward he kissed you. His thumbs pressed along the undersides of your breasts and he squeezed them swallowing your whimpers.

He bent his head down to your chest. Seokjin’s tongue circling around your nipples. He took each in turn, you were unable to sit still as every pinch, lap and squeeze sent a buzz through your core. You were not quiet, making such provocative noises that bounced off the tiles. He smirked kissing the valley between your breasts and journeying south, pulling your hips forward for easier access.

He kissed your thighs, you saw Yoongi move out the corner of your eye. Turning to see him swiping his tongue across his bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours. A sharp pain spread through your thigh and you looked down Seokjin had sunk his teeth against your smooth skin.

“You keep your eyes on me, I am not a patient man, I don’t like when people interrupt me while I am enjoying my meal” He soothed the mark he left with his tongue. Leaned down, his broad shoulders bumping your knees. He sighed against you, the heat of his breath so close to your heat made your stomach clench almost doubling over. He muttered about how his wide shoulder getting in the way. He tried again and frowned before grabbing your ankle and throwing one of your legs over his shoulder.

He dove between your legs, his tongue swirling around your clit as he buried his face between your folds. You noticed his hand between his leg, tracing his fingers along his length. He moaned a low ‘fuck’ and groaned so deeply the vibrations made your back arch,Your fingers curling into his hair as he smirked up at you. He was taking his time with himself but he didn’t waste a second with your own pleasure.

“What does she taste like, Jin-Hyung?” Jimin asked

“Sweet like Peaches and vanilla” he said against you, it wasn’t long before you shuddered, thighs quivering threatening to close on his face. your voice warning him but he continued pressing his tongue harder against your clit, his hand squeezing around his dick. He came quietly breathy, you were the opposite coming loudly. He panted laying his cheek against your thigh and closing his eyes for a second to catch his breath.

“I want to go next” Taehyung said you took a deep breath swallowing trying to relieve your dry throat.

“We should probably hop out of the shower soon, we have used a lot of water” you muttered

“Taehyung rushed over, Wait I want to try with you in here please” you nodded he sat beside you kissing you his tongue fighting with yours. He pulled a funny face, “you taste like Kookie”

You moaned against him as he kissed you he wasn’t slow, he was all about chasing pleasure and you liked that. He reached between your legs, slowly played with your clit, his fingertips were slightly calloused you suspected from growing up on a farm. He pressed a single digit inside of you. One finger became two and two became three, you winced slightly. Curling his fingers forward, your body twitched against his palm, he moved his fingers quickly. He was not precise he was just creating a mess. His lips were pressed to your neck biting and sucking the flesh creating deep bruises against your skin.

You felt the familiar pressure you had felt with Yoongi. But he stopped causing a cry of despair to paint your lips, he lifted his head from watching his fingers getting sucked inside of you to look at you. His warm breath fluttering against your neck. “Can I, be inside you” he asked

His cute phrase contrasted his dark look, you nodded letting him lift you onto his lap, your hands gripping his shoulder. One hand around the base of his cock the other guiding your hips down against him.

He pressed against you, but it wasn’t quite right, reaching between you to move him to the correct place. He tried to pull you down onto his lap, but stopped him removing his hands from your hips placing them on your breasts. “No, Tae. Go slow otherwise you could hurt me” You said taking his lip between your teeth and biting it, as you moved on your own.

Taehyung’s low moans were delicious, they alone had you clenching around him. Soon you were seated on his length resting your head on his shoulder. You moved yourself slowly leaning back so the curve of his shaft would press against your most sensitive sweet spots.

“Go ahead” You breathed he gripped your hips helping you ride him, you were glad you had stayed in the shower as this was messy. Your hips bouncing in the air wildly. He was growling to himself, words you couldn’t understand but the gravel in his deep voice was sexy. He finished inside you throwing his head back panting. He continued muttering against your skin leaving more marks behind, you began to comprehend what he was saying.

“So tight, ah”

You lifted yourself from his lap and felt his cum run down your inner thighs. Hoseok sat down beside Taehyung instantly pulling you onto his lap. Your back resting against his chest, he kissed your neck and spoke to you not quiet or subtle. He outright asked if he could fuck you. Lifting your hips as an invitation, he positioned himself at your entrance. impaling yourself on his hard cock with an ‘oof’. Namjoon turned off the shower, the steam kept the room warm as did your activities.

“Can you use your mouth pretty girl?” Hoseok asked you nodded telling him you would love to. He squeezed your thighs “Anyone want to try this pretty mouth?”

They looked at each other Jimin stepping forward making sure no one protested. You kiss him hard, his plush lips were so soft, his tongue brushing yours. He pulled back and you eagerly leaned forward and took him into your mouth. Hoseok set the pace, it was a strong rhythm and they both kept perfect time.

They were in sync but totally different, Hoseok wanted to go faster gripping your hips and picking up the pace with grunts and agile hip thrusts. Jimin was whining. As much as he loved to get rough he wanted your first time together to be slow. Wanting to savor the feeling of you, wanting to tease you.

Yoongi hissed at the sight, as Jimin gripped your hair tightly, he was very attractive his features stunningly androgynous, Yoongi felt watching you both was becoming too much. Jimin’s eyes scrunched tight his head thrown back leaving his throat exposed, “I can’t” he whined “It’s too much”

Jimin was cumming, his body vibrating, you swallowed happy to watch him come undone. Yoongi had staggered over as Jimin rode out his orgasm. Yoongi’s accent thickened his words incoherent, it sounded like he was in pain his body straining to stand upright.

Jimin’s moans were like a throaty velvet and his whines were like a beautiful choir song echoing through the bathroom. Yoongi tried to say something again but got choked up as Jimin let out a long moan letting his head roll forward once more. Yoongi came hard, some landed on your face but most of it landed on Jimin’s abdomen. Removing Jimin from your mouth you licked his abdomen tasting Yoongi. But what you weren’t expecting was Jimin running a finger up his stomach and tasting him as well. The sight brought you to the edge, your walls clenching around Hoseok. Squirting over his lap, Hoseok’s hips stuttered and he came with a praise leaving his lips before laying his head back against the cool tiles.

Namjoon, walked over gently picking you up from Hoseok who looked absolutely spent. Before sitting you on his lap, he started talking to you, running his hands over your wet hair, moving it out of your face. “Hey baby, you did so good. You think you can take one more?”

“Of course daddy” You breathed slowly as he lifted you onto his dick, you were going to be sore tomorrow.

“Look how pretty you look stuffed with my cock, baby. I am going to fill you up so much, does that sound good?”

You squirmed as his thumb rubbed against your sensitive nub, you tried to pull away the sensations too much after just finishing your second orgasm of the night. The boys started the shower again and jerked off while watching you. “I can’t come again”

He ignored you and continued “I know you can, you can come again, your such a good girl”

You felt the tightness begin in your belly, you couldn’t sit still every touch, every thrust sent after shocks from your last orgasm through your body.

He tried a few different techniques and soon, had you on the edge, he smirked praising you some more promising to fill you. Your orgasm hit you almost painfully, crying out, it wasn’t as nice as the first or as powerful as the second. This was forced but still amazing in it’s own way.

After the shower was a daze, you were dried and dressed with the help of the maknae’s and when you stepped out heading to bed you saw the lounge room had been converted two large mattresses covered the floor with blankets and pillows piled up. Hoseok put on your favorite movie and you fell asleep in Taehyung and Yoongi’s arms.

Femme Media 29

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snortyport · 4 years ago

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(Un)Broken Happily Ever After Chapter 2

Summary- You’re friend has some wise words that you desperately need to hear.

Word Count- 3045

Pairing- Non idol!Tae x reader

Warning- None that I can think of, maybe swearing

A/N- Thanks so much for reading! After this chapter, the timeline will be a little different so enjoy the continuous timeline while you can lol

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You pull up to Yoongi’s house, parking along the freshly mowed curb, the smell of fresh cut grass still lingering in the air. You pull your visor down to check your face over. Your sleep wasn’t very good, and your appearance isn’t hiding that fact. You let out a small sigh and then smile at yourself but dropping it seconds later. Who are you fooling? No one will believe that you’re fine.

He’s probably going to know something is up. Look at me, I look terrible. He’s one my best friend and can usually read my emotions before I can.

Grabbing your bag and exiting the car, you walk up the driveway to Yoongi’s house, wishing to whoever is listening that things could go back to the way they were. When you and Tae still cared about your relationship.

Standing at his front door, you knock three times, your knuckles scraping on the wooden door. After a minute of waiting, you knock again, harder. You know Yoongi likes his sleep and usually works the midnight shifts at Open Mic Night Café where he’ll often stay late to play the café’s instruments once all the customers have gone home. So maybe coming here so early wasn’t the right move. But you’re here now and you don’t think you have the mental capacity to drive somewhere else.

You’re not even sure why you decided you come to Yoongi’s. Jungkook is your oldest friend, having known you since childhood. You’d only met Yoongi when you became friends with Tae four years ago, a year before you started dating. And yet when thinking of whose house to come to it was Yoongi who popped into your head. Maybe it’s because he’s so much quieter than the rest of your friends. He doesn’t ask questions, rather he’ll sit in silence with you while you think over your problems. He’s a quiet comfort and that’s what you want right now.

You don’t want to talk about Tae, or why you broke up. You don’t want to sit for hours while someone tells you that you’re great and things will work out. You just want to sit in your own head and not do anything. And Yoongi’s place is the perfect spot for that.

You know he won’t make you talk about your feelings because right now you don’t totally know what you’re feeling.

Hell, you haven’t even cried.

So how are you supposed to know how you’re feeling? It’s too soon and the only thing you feel is tired.

You knock on the door harder, but instead of stopping after three knocks, you keep going. That’ll get him up.

You hear angry ranting and feet stomping on the other side of the door. “First they mow the lawn at the ass crack of dawn and now this jackass keeps kno—” he pulls the door open with gusto; rage written on his tired face. His face goes slack but morphs into confusion when he see’s it’s you. He’s wrapped in his comforter from his bed and his hair is sticking up in every direction. He squints at you in the early morning sun, looking between your face and the duffle bag hung on your shoulder. “Y/N? What’s wrong? What are you doing here so early?”

And with those simple words, your walls come crashing down. Your face contorts as a sob rips from your throat. You cover your face as the tears start streaming down your cheeks.

It’s over! It’s really over! I left! Why did I leave?

Yoongi watches you in horror. You show up on his doorstep after waking him up after only a few hours of sleep, and then you start sobbing hysterically. You feel bad putting Yoongi in this position, but the tears don’t stop. He’s never been good with anyone crying and here you are, at his door like the worst Amazon package he didn’t even order.

He opens his opens his arms without saying a word, and you rush him. You squeeze your arms around him, pressing your face against his shoulder where your tears soak into his shirt. He wraps his arms and the blanket around you and the two of you stand there. Yoongi doesn’t say anything as he lets you cry on his shoulder in his doorway for what feels like hours.

But when you finally calm down enough to stand on your own, the sun had barely risen above the houses on the other side of the street.

Yoongi grabs the bag off your shoulder, dropping it onto his and turns around to go farther into his house. You close the door before following him into the kitchen. He sets your bag down on the dining room table, motions for you to sit and silently starts moving around his kitchen, grabbing two mugs, and setting the kettle to boil. He digs in his fridge and brings out a half-eaten chocolate cake.

When the water boils, Yoongi pours it into the mugs and adds just the right amount of honey without you having to tell him. He brings everything over, setting your mug in front of you. He opens the cake container and hands you a fork. You eye the cake for a second, debating if chocolate cake first thing in the morning is a good idea, but fuck it, you’re sad and cake will help.

“Now, you ready to explain why you’re here crying on my doorstep,” he leans back in his chair to check the time on the oven, “at six thirty-eight am on a Saturday instead of curled up in bed with Tae?”

“I’m sorry, Yoongi,” you mumble and look down at your brewing tea, not quite sure if you’re stable enough to talk about it yet. You swallow thickly and look up into his concerned eyes. “Me and Tae broke up,” you say quietly.

“You… broke up? With Tae?” he asks, his face tangled in bewilderment. “I thought he was endgame or whatever. Something big must have happened? Did he cheat on you? I swear I’ll go over there right now and beat him up. I’ll stop and grab JK on the way too,” he says, standing up from his chair, letting the blanket drop to the ground. You can’t help the small smile that slips onto your face, but you shake your head and he sits back down and pulls the blanket over his lap. You love that he’s willing to beat up one of his best and oldest friends for you.

“You don’t have to do that,” you shake your head, your smile sliding off when your mind drifts back to Tae. “It wasn’t one big thing, but lots of little things that have just piled up and piled up and piled up until it finally came crashing down on me,” you say, wrapping your hands around the warm mug. “I just couldn’t handle it anymore,”

“Couldn’t handle what? What was he doing?”

“It was more what he wasn’t doing,” you look up into his baffled eyes. You sigh and take a sip of your tea. “I don’t know how you get it so perfect…” you mumble, taking another sip, letting the hot, calming liquid sooth you into talking.

“I work at a café remember. I make the best drinks. Now what wasn’t he doing? I’m confused,”

“Remember when that little boy died? And how bad Tae had gotten?”

“Of course. It changed him completely. I thought he was in a good place now?” he asks and takes a bite of cake.

“He is, but, when all of that was going down, he could barely get out of bed let alone clean, so I did all the housework,” you say twirling your tea spoon in your mug. “But when he started feeling better, I thought he’d start helping out again, but he didn’t. I’d come home from work and there’d be a huge mess. I’d ask him to clean while I’m at work and I’d come home, and the apartment would be even messier than before. I’d clean it after I’d get home from work and the next night I’d have to clean again. It’s just become too much,” you take another sip of tea.

It sounds stupid now that you’re saying everything out loud but caring for an able bodied, grown man that’s acting like a child is exhausting.

“I’d work late and there would be no supper waiting for me. He’d order takeout for himself and give me his few bites of leftovers when I got home. We haven’t been on a date in, fuck, forever. I don’t even know how long. Conversations have started ending in fights,” you sigh, “and I guess I’m just tired of it all. It almost didn’t feel like we were in a relationship. I felt more like a parent nagging her son to do his chores. It’s so tiring.” Tears spring back into your eyes and a lump forms in your throat. “I’m so tired, Yoongs,” you rest your head in your hands as the tears fall.

He brings his chair beside yours so he can rub your back. He sits there while you cry. He doesn’t tell you things will be ok, or that you’ll get over him, and you’re glad he doesn’t. You wouldn’t believe him right now and you don’t need pointless words of comfort.

When the crying episode ends, you lean back in your chair, wiping your eyes.

“Did I make a mistake? We’ve been together for three years. Am I really going to throw that all away without trying to fix it in the first place?” you ask him desperately.

“It sounds like you guys just weren’t working. I don’t know if talking things over would have helped,” he says, placing his hand over yours on top of the table. “Sometimes people need time apart to realise what they’re missing. If after some time apart you still love him and want to be with him then go and see him and maybe that’ll be it. But if after some time apart you don’t want to get back with him… then you’ll know I wasn’t meant to be,” he leans back in his chair and takes a sip of tea.

“What if I want to get back together but he doesn’t?” you ask timidly.

He sighs and takes a moment to think. “Well, then you leave him be. It’s a risky game to play but hopefully it’ll pay off the way you want it to,” he sips the last of his tea and stands up to take it to the sink. “I think you did the right thing though. Taking some time away from each other. I think it’ll do good for both of you to be on your own for a bit.”

“I do too… but… I really miss him. Even though we didn’t do a lot by the end, just being in his presence was comforting, you know? Like we mostly sat on our phones and ignored each other, or Tae would play video games and I sat on my laptop, but it was nice having someone there, it wasn’t lonely,” you smile sadly at the almost finished cake. You put the lid back on after taking one more forkful, then you get up and put it back in the fridge. “Why do you put cake in the fridge by the way?”

“Because I like it cold, and it holds its shape better. Now, I get it’s nice to have someone to help stop the loneliness, trust me I do, but that doesn’t mean you should be using the wrong person to do it with,” he pats your shoulder.

“But he was so right at first. Why did that change?” you whine, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Sometimes the right people come into our lives at the wrong time. You met in senior year of university, right when you should have gone out and started your life, but you stayed here with Tae. I’m not saying that was a bad thing, but you didn’t get out there and do what you wanted to do,” he grabs his blanket and wraps it around himself again. “Didn’t you want to move across the ocean after you graduated?”

“Well yeah, but Tae didn’t want to move away from everyone right after we graduated so we were going to move when we were more settled, you know, when we had more money,” you shrug your shoulders, “but then we just never left. Life happened and plans changed.”

“Well, life has changed again. Why don’t you go now?” he suggests.

“I guess I could, but I don’t know if I want that anymore,” you tell him. “I have a good job; all my friends are here. I just don’t think I want to leave. If I’m being honest, I don’t really know what I want to do with my life anymore. But you’re right, I used to have dreams and aspirations. I guess I put those aside to make Tae happy. Not that I haven’t been happy too, I was, but everything I did, I did for Tae.”

“And that’s fine. If you were happy and that’s how you wanted to live, then good on you. But now you can figure out what you do want to do. Even if it takes you months, or you decide to you don’t want to do anything then that’s fine too,”

“Right now, I have no idea what I want to do,” you say, shaking you head.

“And that’s ok. You can figure out first how to be you without having someone hanging off you everyday,” he tugs the blanket closer to him, and yawns. The purple dark circles under his eyes giving away how tired he truly is.

I’m such a bad friend for keeping him awake and listening to my problems when he’s so clearly tired.

“I’m sorry, Yoongi,” you say, wringing your hands together.

“For what?” he looks on at you with confusion.

“For coming here, waking you up and dumping all my problems on you,” you shuffle your feet on the spot.

He steps closer, presses his hands against your cheeks, and lifts your face up. “You don’t need to apologize. You’re my best friend, I’m always going to be here for you,” he kisses your forehead and stares deep into your eyes, which if anyone else did that, you’d be blushing and thinking they have ulterior motives, but it’s different with Yoongi. There has neve been any kind of sexual tension, ever, since becoming friends.

Tears spring to your eyes at his kindness but he wipes them away as they fall with his thumbs.

“Why don’t we go back to bed. You can stay in the guest bedroom for as long as you want,” he drops his hands and grabs your bag for you. He takes off out of the room and down the hall to the bedrooms. You have no choice but to follow him as he makes his way to your new room.

You’ve stayed in this room many a times. Drunken nights out with the group and being too tired to go all the way home, snuggling tight with Tae. Nights when Tae was still working, and he’d have the graveyard shift and you didn’t want to be alone.

He opens the door and throws your bag onto the bed.

“You know where everything is so if you need anything, just get it,” he scratches his head and looks you over. “You sure, you’re ok?”

“I’m… I’m ok right now. Thank you so much Yoongs,” you say, your voice cracking at the end. Without saying anything, he pulls you into a blanket hug and rubs your back. He lets you go and turns to leave, waving over his shoulder as he leaves your room.

You close the door behind him and then sit on the bed. You look around the empty room, taking in the blank walls and baren furniture. This is a bachelor pad through and through with almost nothing decorated except the main rooms. You fall back onto the bed, you head hitting the pillowy mattress, and you stare at the ceiling.

Do what I want to do? What do I want to do? Travel maybe? But my job would never allow that.

Maybe get a new job? No, I like my job and I finally have more responsibility.

Maybe I just do nothing right now like Yoongi said.

People are always saying you should have a dream, but you don’t. All you want to focus on is finding yourself. Finding what makes you, you. And maybe that can be your dream.

You became so reliant on having Tae around that you forgot how to be by yourself, and how to do things on your own.

As the sun’s rays glide across the floor and disappear with the arrival of the moon, you don’t move from your spot. You heard Yoongi leave his room a while ago. You debated going out to see him to thank him one more time for letting you stay, but before you could even sit up, he was shutting the house door to go to work.

So, you continued to lay there.

You mind racing with different scenarios.

Going back to Tae. Moving away from everyone and everything. Dying your hair fire engine red. Getting something pierced. Every thought bringing you closer to what you really want. And that’s to be better, not for Tae, not for your friends, or your job, but for you.

You’re a grown up and you’re always relying on someone. To go to a restaurant with you, to go shopping, even getting a pick me up coffee. You’re always calling one of your friends to come do things with you.

It’s time to grow up and become the independent woman you always thought you were.

No one is in your way. No one can stop you.

From here on out, it’s you, and only you. With maybe a little help from your friends, because let’s be honest, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but from here on out you’re your main priority.

Here’s to me and my new journey.

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Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Here’s to women finding themselves!

Tagged: @anatron9000, @sugalarity

If you’d like to be tagged, let me know!

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts taehyung #bts namjoon #break up imagine #taehyung #namjoon

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writemywaytoyourheart · 6 years ago

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He sees your self-harm scars | Yoongi

Requested: kind of,,, @tangledsparkles gave me the idea, so thanks love, ILY ❤️

a/n: I love the Yoongles, pls 🤧....someone hold me....But, anyway, enjoy this you guys, ily and I’m working on getting the others’ posted 🤞

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Word count: 929... and I oop-

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: nothing too bad honestly; self harm scars but no details on how or why.

Trigger Warning- if you're easily triggered by this topic, pls don't read

“It’s so hot I might kill somebody…”

You’re sitting on the couch with your boyfriend in his studio, you were reading but you couldn’t concentrate another second. Yoongi looks up at you and scoots away, seeing the scowl on your face as you stare straight ahead of you. He shifts and puts his phone down, “I know I’m the only one in the room, but I’d appreciate it if you refrained from killing me.” You huff and cross your arms, then stand up abruptly- making Yoongi jump at your sudden movement.

“I’m not actually gonna kill you, drama king.” You roll your eyes at his doubtful expression then he makes a funny face at you and you laugh because you just can’t take him seriously, the little stinker. Your boyfriend stands up and moves to hug you, because he really is just a cuddle bug. You let him wrap his arms around you but after another minute you whine softly, “Yoongi~ it’s so hot!” He pulls away and nods, “you’re right baby, we should do something to cool off…” He looks at you with a mischievous smirk and a glint in his eyes, then you both shout at the same time.

“ICE CREAM!”

Well, that was settled.

Yoongi insists on holding your hand all the way to the ice cream parlor no matter how hot and sweaty you are. It isn’t too far away so you two decided to just walk there and you got there in the next ten minutes. You gape at the colorful menu- it never fails to amaze you how many different flavors they have, with a secret one every Friday. Yoongi smiles at your dazed expression and kisses your cheek while he gives your hand a quick squeeze, “it’s Friday y/n, wanna try their secret flavor or go with your regular?” You bite your lip in concentration, “it’s so hard to decide, what are you gonna do baby?” Yoongi looks back at the menu and frowns slightly, thinking. After a few seconds he turns to you, “how about this; you get your favorite and I’ll get the secret flavor and we can share both?” You nod excitedly and hurry over to sit down when he tells you that he’ll order and to go pick a seat for you two.

Soon he comes over carrying two little bowls and flashing his infamous gummy smile at you, he sits down and places the bowl with chocolate ice cream and Oreos in front of you, chuckling at you licking your lips and smiling at the cold treat. You roll up your long sleeves and rub your hands together, ready to dig in. But, then you look over to see what’s in his bowl and scoot closer to him. The ice cream in his bowl is a very light orange color with red dots in it, “what flavor is it?” you ask curiously. Yoongi looks into the bowl as well and shrugs before taking a spoonful, “I don’t know yet, should I try it and see?” You nod and he giggles as you stare at him while he puts the spoon in his mouth- a second later he acts like he’s about to spit it out and you quickly grab a bunch of napkins from the napkin holder on the table and hold them under his mouth, “oh no! Baby is it really that bad??” Yoongi laughs out loud at your confused expression when he swallows it.

“What flavor was it? Something disgusting?”

“No, actually it’s really good. I think it’s mango and pineapple actually,” he looks into the bowl and nods, taking another spoonful and holding it out to you. You glare playfully at him for pranking you, but take the bite into your mouth nonetheless. Your eyes widen- it really was pretty good. You take a spoonful of yours and hold it up to him, “that’s really good! Do you wanna try some of mine? Take a drink of water first so the mango taste doesn’t mess with it.” Your boyfriend nods and sips his water before turning back to try your ice cream, that’s when he notices your arm. You’re holding the spoon out expectantly, “what are you doing Yoongi? My arm is getting tired.” You laughed.

Yoongi swallows thickly and nods, taking the bite and then he nods again trying his best to give you a smile, “wow, t-that’s really good.” You furrow your brows and put your arm holding the spoon down, “what’s wrong?” Yoongi clears his throat and glances at your arm unconsciously. You suddenly understand and pull your sleeves down quickly.

He sighs sadly and reaches out for your hand, “y/n, will you please talk to me?” You look around the restaurant trying to focus anywhere but on him, shame causing your face to go red. Yoongi reaches over to gently take your chin and face you towards him, “y/n, please look at me.” You do and see the tears in his eyes.

“Yoongi…I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”

“I- I don’t know…I don’t want to be a burden..”

“Y/n, please listen to me carefully. You never were and never will be a burden, please believe that…I’m always going to be here for you, so please, please believe me.” You nod tearfully and he caresses your back gently, “y/n, do you promise to come to me or message me whenever you’re afraid It’ll happen again?” You nod again and he smiles sadly at you, pulling you into his chest.

“I love you and you’ll be okay. I promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: I love you guys, I hope you like this one too, remember to message me if ever you need help, please. Also, there was suddenly an overwhelming smell...like, a nice clean man with cologne....👀 there are no men here👀 ok then...

408 notes · View notes

jungshookz · 6 years ago

Text

ceo!yoongi

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: ceo!au, clumsy!y/n because that’s always nice, jimin is ur best friend, floofy fluff, a touch of nsfw aka office sex

→ wordcount: 21k+ so u should probably read this using ur laptop and not ur phone

→ note: inspired by my love for an intimidating yoongi in suits

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there so if it doesn’t work for some reason i am sorry don’t attack me)))

“shit, shit, shit, fuck- ow, shit- fUCK”

you scramble around your apartment shoving things into your purse while simultaneously dressing yourself

out of all the days to wake up late

why did todAY have to be one of them???

you have your house keys dangling from your mouth while you wiggle into a pair of jeans aNd your phone is sandwiched in between your shoulder and your ear

“the new boss is going to be here any minute now, where the hell are you??”

“obviously i slept through my goddamn alarm, jimin! i- yes, i’ll be there in like… five minutes. i’m on the bus already”

that was an obvious lie because you’re still trying to find a decent shirt to wear

you end up going with a polka-dotted button blouse

“you better hurry, i hear this guy’s a bit of a hard ass. apparently he fired someone who was only two minutes late to-“

“you’re freaking me out, jimin!!!! look, it’s fine he’s probably just going to introduce himself and then hole himself up in his office so he won’t even notice that i’m late”

your own words reassure you and you slow down to take your time in choosing a pair of shoes

“okay, yeah but you’re his secretary, y/n. i think he’ll notice if his own damn secretary isn’T THERE”

…..he has a fair point

“if you don’t get here in the next ten minutes dinner’s on you tonight” the call clicks off and all you hear is the dial tone

by the time you get to the office it’s 9:23 so you’re officially 23 minutes late BUT you made a stop by the starbucks across the street to grab a soy latte for the new boss

the old boss (mr lin - he was pretty chill but he was alSo pretty old so that explains why the company decided to let him go) would forgive you immediately when you presented a soy latte and a muffin to him

you were sure you’d be fine

“ooh, hold the lift, hold the lift!!!!!” you slip right into the lift right as the doors are about to shut and you let out a sigh of relief because you didN’t spill the coffee thank god

“hey, morning” you turn to give a nod of acknowledgement to the (handsome, very very handsome) stranger standing next to you

he’s dressed in a crisp suit and he’s currently scrolling through his phone but he looks up at you and kind of looks you over before humming in response

his raven black hair looks awfully soft and it’s perfectly styled

and whatever his cologne is…. you’re digging it because he smells goOd

you look up at the little screen telling you that you’re only on the eighteenth floor

the office is on the fifty-second floor and this lift is literally as slow as a snail

you then notice that the stranger is also going to the fifty-second floor

huh

a new co-worker!!

so either you wait in awkward silence with this hot stranger or you try to stir up some conversation

“y’know, i hear the new boss is a bit of a prick.” you snort, glancing over at the stranger. he tenses and his eyes leave his phone but he doesn’t turn

“oh, really? interesting” he shifts and tightens his grip on the folders he’s holding

“mm. and i’m his new secretary so hopefully he doesn’t chew me out for being-“ you look down at your watch “28 minutes late”

“his name’s yoongi. min yoongi. even his name sounds snooty, am i right?” you snort, glancing over again and just tryIng to get some kind of a reaction out of this emotionless person “are you, uh, are you new here?”

usually you’re like super charming but it doesn’t seem to be working on this guy

you glance up at the screen again and let out a breath of relief because you’re approaching the fifty-second floor

“it’s not good to be late, but i admit i’m a little behind on schedule as well. and yes, i’m new.”

“we better hurry otherwise mr min’ll have both our heads on sticks!”

“are you late because you stopped to get a coffee and food?” he raises an eyebrow and looks down at the starbucks cup

“hm? oh, well, kinda. it’s more like an apology drink and a chocolate chip muffin for the boss.” you raise the cup and the paper bag slightly “everyone loves muffins”

the elevator dings and the two of you look up

the doors open and you’re surprised to see… what looks like every single employee just standing in front of the doors

the stranger takes a step out but turns around quickly to face you and you’re kind of like ??

“i’d suggest doing a little more research next time, secretary. i’m not a muffin person.” and then he’s walking out and everyone’s bowing respectfully to him as he introduces himself

it doesn’t hit you until the doors slowly begin to close again and the last thing you see is jimin looking at you with so much pity in his eyes

“you’ve got to be kidding me.”

THAT WAS YOUR BOSS

THAT WAS MIN YOONGI AND YOU TOTALLY JUST

you would be so happy if in this moment the elevator just broke down and sent you hurdling down fifty two floors to your DEATH

you freeze when the doors slide open again but thankfully it’s just jimin standing there

“hey buddy” he approaches you slowly as if you were a ticking time bomb

“hi”

“….so you met mr min i see”

“mhm”

“and i’m guessing u didn’t know that was mr min”

“yes”

“and i’m guessing u tried to strike up a conversation abouT mr min tO mr min”

“indeed”

jimin has to drag you out of the elevator and you’re as still as a statue as he fixes the collar on your blouse and makes sure your employee lanyard is straightened up

“i wouldn’t have gone with this blouse but i suppose this is presentable enough” jimin gestures towards the long hallway leading to yoongi’s office doors (with your cute little station set up by the doors) before he’s giving you a pat on the shoulder and heading back to his cubicle

you know that scene from the shining

the shot where it’s like a long, long hallway and there are those two creepy twins at the end

this is like that except instead of twins you have your new terrifying new boss’ office

you set your bag down on your chair before turning to the doors

you clear your throat a couple times and look down at the latte and the muffin sitting on your desk

maybe he’ll like the latte

so you pick it back up and you give yourself until the count of three

and then you’re knocking on his door and you hear a muffled ’come in’

you take a second to think over what the hell you’re going to say to him

“mr min i am sO sorry i swear i wasn’t trying to offend you i was just trying to be funny because i thought you-“

and just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse

things get worse

because yoongi just so happened to be standing right by the door as you opened it and of COURSE you knock into him causing the lid to pop off the cup and now the two of you are covered in latte but it’s more you than him thanK god

your face is so red you’re sure you’re going to explode

you don’t even know what to say at this point

“i am……. so-“

“sorry? yeah, i’m seeing a main theme here with you.” yoongi scowls and shakes some coffee off his hand before looking down at his stained louis vuitton button up

this was new but it’s okay because he has 10 ten more in his closet

“i’ll pay for the dry cleaning?” is all you can squeak out because you are just so horrified

yoongi rolls his eyes discreetly while he’s patting himself down with his silk handkerchief

what the hell is wrong with you??? you’re not usually this clumsy and you’re sure you’re like 1 more sorry away from getting fired

“can you just send me my schedule for today?” he sighs as he heads back towards his desk “i’m sure it’s easy enough for you to handle” he mutters condescendingly and you know what you totally deserve that comment so you’re fine with it

“yessir” you don’t even bother asking if he actually wanted a coffee or not because you just want to get out of his fiery gaze

surprisingly the rest of the morning goes by pretty smoothly

he came out of the office wearing a new crisp shirt and you were like dAng this guy’s prepared for any situation

unlike you

because you’re sitting here with your cardigan buttoned all the way up to hide the stain

you keep a smile on your face whenever yoongi passes your desk to head back to his office but after you hear his door shut the smile drops and you always let out a breath of relief

he’s just so…. scary

and he’s your age too

if he was a co worker instead of your boss you were 100% sure the two of you wouldn’t get along at all

and you get along with almost EVERYONE

you’ve never been happier when your phone goes off and tells you it’s your lunch break because you just want to rant to jimin and

“turkey sandwich on whole wheat. lettuce, red onions, avocado, chipotle mayo. the place is called the sandwich station. it’s a block or two down. i’d like a green juice to go with it as well- hold the cucumber. they know my order. you can just tell them it’s for me.”

what the

yoongi literally just materialised out of nowhere

“….i’m sorry?”

yoongi clenches his jaw and you want to CRY

“it’s noon. meaning it’s lunch time. meaning i want my lunch.”

the old boss never made you go out to get a fancy sandwich for him

there’s a canteen here for a reason

they’re serving spinach and potato curry today!!!!!!!! which is your favourite!!!!!! and your lunch breaks are only an hour long and by the time you get back the curry will be gone but maybe you can ask jimin to save you a bite

“is there a problem?”

“no! no sir.” you shake your head quickly and get up from your seat “but, um, just to let you know we do have a canteen here if you ever- okay, yep, i’m going”

jimin’s standing by the lift when you get there and he’s like why did you press the down button the canteen is Up you dummy

and you’re like mr min wants a fancy sandwich and a green juice what kind of sane person likes green juice???

jimin promises he’ll save you a bite of the curry as long as you make it back in time aka fifteen minutes before he inhales it all

you say goodbye to each other in the form of air kisses as you walk into separate lifts

so now you’re sprinting down the sidewalk trying to find this damn sandwich place that isn’t one or two blocks away it’s like TWENTY minutes away according to google maps

you would’ve worn a sports bra today if you’d have known you’d be running

by the time you finally make it there you’re all sweaty and red and you can barely speak

“h..hi, a sandwich and a green juice thing for, um, mr min yoongi??” you look at the notes you scribbled down on your palm even though all the words are smudged from your hand sweat “it’s turkey on whole-“

“for yoongi??? coming right up!!!!” the girl at the counter seems a little too enthusiastic to be making a sandwich and a juice for him….. and she’s on a first name basis with him….

but whatever at least she’s being speedy about it

you check the time on your watch

jimin’s probably already eaten everything

your lunch break ends in half an hour and it’ll take you 20 minutes to head back so that leaves you with like ten minutes

maybe you can get a sandwich from here

you look up at the- oH NO way you are not paying tHAT much for a sandwich

this place is bougie

certainly not for someone with your budget

maybe there’s like a hot dog cart nearby

a hot dog sounds good

“here you go! tell him i said hi. i’m lisa, by the way.” she smiles and you give her a smile back as you take the bag from her

you kind of pause to think and you’re like hMm what do you meAn tell him i said hi,,,,,,

does yoongi have a secret sandwich lover

you don’t have time to think because you are reminded that you are running out of damn time

“thanks for being so fast, lisa. uh, here you go. this should cover it.” you throw the bills that yoongi gave you on the counter before you’re zipping out the door and beginning your little jog back

you feel your phone buzz in your pocket and you already know it’s yoongi wondering where the hell you are

you make it back in tEn minutes thank god but your feet are killing you and you’re sure your blouse is drenched in sweat by now

as you’re walking briskly down the hallway you pick up your pace when you see yoongi standing outside his office and leaning against the frame of the door

“what took you so long??”

“i-“

“there’s no excuse” yoongi snatches the bag from you and shuts the door in your face

you can already hear the chatter of people returning from their lunch breaks

aHHHH

your stomach grumbles and it’s your body’s way of reminding you that HEY quit neglecting M E

maybe you should have splurged on a fancy sandwich

you huff and plop down on your seat

now you’re just hangry and the next person who talks to you will FEEL YOUR FIERY WRATH

“by the way- reschedule my meeting with mr kim to next wednesday. he couldn’t make it today.” yoongi opens his door again and takes a sip of his obnoxious green juice

you spin around in your chair

immediately your lips tug up in a bright smile

“yes sir. i’d love to do that for you.” yoongi looks at you weirdly before he disappears into his room again

wow

where was that fiery wrath

that wrath could barely light up a birthday candle sis

about twenty minutes go by and you actually feel like you’re dying because you’re honestly starving so you decide to text jimin and tell him to sneak some food to you

you technically could just get up and go to the vending machine yourself but yoongi could pop out of his office at any minute and if he sees that you’re not at your desk he’ll definitely have your head

so it’s too risky

to: chimchim - be a pal and bring me a bag of chips or something from the vending machine

jimin jumps when his phone vibrates loudly against his desk and he apologises to his fellow cubicle mates before checking the notification

he can’t help but snort after he reads your message

to: y/n - i’m busy! get it yourself

he’s not surprised that you reply almost immediately

from: y/n - too risky!!!! plus you’re closer to the vending machine

from: y/n - just pretend like you need to print something you can come and use ~my~ personal printer

to: y/n - why would i walk across the floor to use your tiny ass printer

from: y/n - PLEASE i am so hungry i will take care of the laundry this week just get me something to eat before my body starts eating itself

jimin immediately gets up from his seat and heads right to the vending machine

he hates doing the laundry

you want to cry tears of joy when you see jimin’s blonde head bobbing down the hallway from where you’re sitting

“don’t accidentally turn all our white sheets pink agaIN” he teases and he tosses you the bag of chips that you open greedily

he’s munching on an apple himself

he’s always been the healthier one out of the two of you

“how’s the boss?”

you’re immediately triggered

“omg i had to go to this dumb fancy sandwich place and pick up an overpriced turkey club and a green juice for him and then one of the sandwich workers was like obViously wanting me to say hi to mr min for her and i was like ?? what do i look like a messenger pigeon or something” you snort and shove a handful of chips into your mouth unattractively

“and ALSO he totally got mad at me when i got back because i took too long but it’s not my fault your dumb sandwich place is like a million miles away and another ALSO i’m walking in HEELS-”

“you should invest in a pair of flats, perhaps”

wow

there’s something else to add to your already shitty first impression

you swallow thickly when you realise jimin didn’t say that

you turn around slowly in your chair and you’re met with the intimidating gaze of yoongi

….R U KIDDING

why do bad things happen to good people???

yoongi tosses his trash into the bin sitting by your desk before he’s looking up at a terrified jimin

“is there a reason why you’re here, mr park?”

“…i needed to print something” he swallows his bite of apple and hides it behind his back

“do you not have a printer on your side?”

“it was jammed, sir.”

“what are you printing?”

jimin blanks and all that comes out of his mouth is

“contra..ct. sir.”

“what contract?”

“this one!! this one” you grab a random sheet of paper of your desk and stand up and shove it into jimin’s chest

“yep, this one! i’ll be on my way, thanks for letting me use your printer y/n!” jimin practically rockets down the hallway to head back to his desk

dang

he barely made it out of there alive

he’s never doing that again

there’s a silence between you and yoongi for a couple seconds as the two of you watch jimin bolt away

you turn around a little to face him with a sheepish smile and you wobble slightly on your heels

“can i trust you to be more responsible and do your work instead of complaining to your friend about your awful boss?”

you open your mouth to reply but you dip your head down in shame

yah

you deserve that one

“sorry, sir” you murmur under your breath and you don’t want to look at yoongi because if you do you’ll definitely burst into tears

and your face is sO hot

you look up when you hear the click of yoongi’s door shutting and you let out a breath before sitting down

okay

time to actually work

you’ll find a way to make it up to yoongi

hopefully

the next morning you make sure to set your alarm like an hour earlier than you usually wake up because this day has to go PERFEctly otherwise you will literally stab your eyeball out with a letter opener

yesterday night you already set up yoongi’s schedule for today so that when he wakes up and checks his calendar he’ll know exactly what’s going on

you even memorised his schedule

he has 2 conference calls in the morning (one starts at 8:30 and the other at 10:15) and 2 meetings in the afternoon (one starts at 1:45 and the other at 4:30)

you just want to prove to him that you’re not a total disaster and you’re capable of handling this job

and you made sure to dress yourself up a little more ~professionally~ although it pained you to leave your skinny jeans aside and slip into a pencil skirt instead

you hATe pencil skirts

they’re so tight and after you eat lunch you always feel like your tummy is going to buSt out

so yes you’re wearing a nice white button up long sleeved shirt tucked into a black pencil skirt along with a pair of shiny black heels that you polished last night

you also spray on some perfume and put a little more effort into your makeup

because,,,,, it’s no secret that min yoongi is an attractive man

ahem

you just want to look more presentable!!!

you texted jimin last night and asked if he wanted to get to work early this morning and he was just like lmao who do u think i am

so you pass by his apartment door and stick a note on the front that just says ‘good morning - see you at work!!’

it’s about a twenty ish minute walk and you’re definitely regretting choosing a pair of stiLETTOs to wear

so you take them off and proceed to walk comfortably to starbucks to get yourself and yoongi a coffee

you’re about to ask for a muffin but then you remember that he doEsn’T liKE muFfInS so you stick with a black coffee for him and a caramel macchiato for yourself

of course you’re hungry so you get a bagel for yourself with extrA cinnamon cream cheese

after you get everything you head on over to the building and greet the security guards good morning and they’re all pretty surprised because you’re never here,, so early

your heels click clacking on the marble floor is the only thing that’s heard as you make your way down the hallway to your desk

you check the time on your watch and you’re satisfied with yourself because you still have about thirty minutes until work starts

and you lean back against your chair and you give yourself a mental high five because uMMM,,, you’re kiLLING it and it’s not even 8am yet

you look around and

wow it’s quiet

you can hear the bustling of the city from outside and it’s oddly very calming

you kind of want to fall asleep

plus that bagel really filled u up and you always get sleepy after a good meal

uh oh

okay

look

maybe you can take like

a five minute nap

you deserve it!

you can re energize yourself and then you’ll be even more efficient today

you rest your head on your folded arms and shut your eyes

yeah

five minutes

“good morning, sir”

“morning, mr min!”

“good morning, sir!!”

click

clack

click

clack

your eyes open and your vision adjusts to youryou shoot up from your desk and wipe the drool off the side of your mouth and stand up from your chair immediately

and you glance down at your laptop and see that you didn't take a five minute snooze you took a FORTY minute snooze

thank god you're a light-ish sleeper otherwise yoongi's shoes echoing down the hallway would definitely not have woken you up and he would’ve caught you sleePING

you look up to see yoongi walking down the hallway looking at his phone

so you quickly fix your hair and straighten yourself up

“good morning sir” you clear your throat to get the raspy sleepiness out of your voice and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

he walks past you and goes straight into his office and you’re about to sit down but then you remember you have a coFfee for him

so you knock on his door clutching his now lukewarm coffee

“i have a coffee here for you, boss” you walk over to his desk and place the cup on his desk

“one cream one sugar?”

uh oh

this coffee is black

“….i will be… right back” and you pick up the coffee and walk out of his room calmly

once you shut the door behind you you’re immEDIATELy zipping down the hallway to the break room

this coffee isn’t even lukewarm anymore now it’s just cold sad coffee

daMN it

it was stupid to buy a coffee forty minutes beforehand

and you can just make coffee here!!!! you dingus!!!!!

so you dump out the coffee and you see namjoon about to pour himself a cup but you slip over and you’re like namjoon sweetie hi good morning can i take that i am sO sorry

and you take the pot from him and refill yoongi’s cup

he just blinks at you because you hand him back an empty coffee pot

“it’s for the big guy you know how it is” and you reach past him to get the cream and a sugar cube and you plop it in and give it a stir

and you pop the lid back on and you’re like thanks joon i owe you big time!! and honestly you were moving so fast namjoon's not even sure what just happened

so you’re practically sprinting down the hall in stilettos back to yoongi’s office and you spot jimin walking out of the lift as you past by and you manage to say goOD morning buddy!!! but all he sees is like a blur and he rubs his eyes

when you get back to the office you’re panting a little but you calm your breaths as you set the coffee down

“one cream one sugar, boss” and you straighten your blouse and clear your throat

yoongi types something out on his phone and blindly reaches for the coffee cup and you gently nudge it towards his hand

he takes a sip and then looks up from his phone and gets his first glance at you for the day and

yoongi chokES on his coffee and quickly sets it down

holy shit

you don’t even look like the same y/n as yesterday

“oh shoot- do you need a napkin?? i’ll get a napkin hold on” and you shuffle out of the room and yoongi isn’t usually like this but he can’t help but let his eyes flicker down because dAmn you look good in that skirt

he thought you looked cute yesterday with your polka dotted blouse and your jeans but today you look so

sexy

god damn

okay

he needs to chill

you’re his secretary

he’s your boss

even more you’re his KLUtzY secretary who spilled coffee all over his shirt and talked smack about him

“…sir?” he snaps himself out of it and looks up and you’re standing over him holding a napkin

he thanks you quietly and takes it from you and dabs at his mouth

okay woO

keep it professional yoongi

“you've got a conference call in twenty minutes. i put everything in your calendar and it should alert you five minutes beforehand but in case it doesn't i'll come in and remind you. i filed the contracts you asked me to sort out yestreday everything's colour coded and also arrange alphabetically so it should be easier to find next time."

yoongi blinks up at you because... what happened to the y/n he met yesterday

“right. yes. good. okay." yoongi swallows thickly when he sees you suck your bottom lip in between your teeth which seems to be a nervous habit of yours "that's all i need from you then. you can go now."

you nod happily and see yourself out

this is a good start

things are going to be greAT from here

:-)

it’s been about two weeks since yoongi took over the company

and all you have to say is

you want to jump out the window

you want to jump off the fifty second floor of this building because yoongi is working you like a dog

which is something that you obviously aren’t accustomed to because the most rigorous thing you had to do for your old boss was to walk across the floor and get him a snack from the vending machine

but yoongi doesn’t do vending machine snacks because it’s appArently all trans fats

he mentioned it to you when you were scarfing down a little packet of cookies because of course you didn’t have time to get lunch for yourself because you were getting his stupid fancy sandwich like a million miles away

and you were like :) and threw it away and he nodded satisfactorily and then went into his office

and you bent down and picked the packet back up and threw the rest of the mini cookies into your mouth

he’s your boss not your dad

he can’t control your diet!!

omg

you’re so physically and mentally drained

you feel like a husk

your soul left your body the moment you met yoongi and it hasn’t returned ever since

you usually like being a secretary because you like organising things and colour coding things and going like ‘i’m so sorry- mr min will have to call you back’ and slamming the phone down because it makes you feel ~powerful~

but damn

you wish you had applied for an office job like jimin

he works in human resources

you would probably be really good in like finances or some other section like that

of course jimin isn’t paid as much as you’re paid so there’s that

you do want to continue having a roof over your head and food in your tummy so

you grin and bear it

to make a long story short

you strongly dislike yoongi and you’re pretty sure he hates you

here are some more things that have happened in the last two weeks

yoongi told you to photocopy 50 copies of a contract

of course you said yes and you went ahead to your little copying machine and made 50 copies

and when you went back and handed him the copies he looked at them and blinked and then looked at you and he was like this isn't the contract i asked you to copy

and you were like ?? you hANded me the contract

“this isn't the right contract”

“i-???”

“you were supposed to copy this one” and he hands you a DIFFERENT CONTRACT

so you end up shredding 50 sheets of paper and you make a brand new 50 copies and when you give the new ones to yoongi he’s like what took you so damn long??

and you were like

YOU, YOU BITCH

YOU TOOK ME SO DAMN LONG

you wanted to SCREAM

and another time

yoongi was about to go into a meeting but before that he told you that as soon as mr kim calls for him you should tell yoongi immediately

and your concern was that mr kim would call during the meeting and you would have to interrupt the meeting which is noT what you want to do but before you can voice your concern yoongi's like okay peace out i'm leaving now

and of course because the universe is against you

mr kim called during the meeting

so you knocked on the door and opened it and there are like 15 businesspeople just staring at you blankly and yoongi's staring at you blankly at the front of the desk

“sir, um, mr kim called"

and he nods and waves you away so you shut the door

after the meeting ends yoongi literally goes like

you shouldn't interrupt another meeting like that again

and you said that you only did it because yOOngi said to tell him as SOON as mr kim called

“hm. i don't recall telling you that."

you had your hands balled into fists so tightly that your knuckles were starting to get white but of coURse all you say is

“you're right, sir. it was my bad. it won't happen again."

“it better not."

and aNOTHER THING

LISA

lisa the sandwich girl

it's like she's expecting you to hook her up with yoongi

everytime you go into the shop she hands you yoongi's lunch and is always like :) tell :) yoongi :) i :) said :) hi :) and you’re like :) let :) go :) of :) the :) bag :) i :) need :) to :) leave :)

and because lisa is the last thing you're concerned about you never tell yoongi she says hi but you don't need to because lately she's been writing notes on the paper bag like ‘i was going to write a pun about a sandwich but i was afraid you’d find it stALe’

when you read that you were like ?? what does that mean are you saying the bread you used in his sandwich today is stale

one time you decided you'd splurge so you treated yourself to a sandwich from there made by lisa herself

it was,,, the worst sandwich you've ever had in your entire life

the bread was barely toasted

there was like 3 pounds of mayo in there

she was skimpy on the turkey

she placed the tomatoes on the bottom making the bread all soggy

yoongi must really REALLY want to get into lisa's pants if he can continue eating this shit without gagging

the conclusion here is that you hate lisa’s sandwiches but not as much as you hate yoongi

:) and you’re allowed to say that because you’re only saying it to yourself and it doesn’t count if no one else knows about your feelings :)

“we’re going to have sO much fun tonight it’s literally been a century since we last got to go to a club and get wasted!!!!! i even bought a brand new shirt for the occasion.” jimin grins and takes a sip of his juice and you nod excitedly

“i’m so ready to get shit faced let me tell you mr min honestly wants to make me rip my-“

“miss y/l/n.” both you and jimin turn when you hear your name and you’re surprised to see yoongi standing there

why’s he in the canteen he’s never in the canteen

“mr min, what.. can i help you with?” you clear your throat and turn yourself around a little more to face him

“i need you to stay late tonight to reorganise some files that your old boss kept tucked away in the drawers. it’s frankly a mess in there.” you don’t even get a chance to respond before yoongi takes a bite of an apple and strolls away casually

wait what

he can’t just

okay technically he can do that because he’s your boss but

not tonight!!!

“mr min i don’t-“ you stand up quickly to chase him and he whips around and raises an eyebrow

“is there something wrong?”

yes there’s something wrong

you have plans tonight!!!!!!!!!

you’re going dancing and you’re going to down shots like there’s no tomorrow and you’re going to wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover like never before so yEs there’s something wrong

“…i don’t know if you wanted me to colour code them or arrange them alphabetically.” you breathe out and you feel your soul leave your body

your first night out in weeks and now you have to stay late and arrange dusty old files

“both.”

“of course, sir.”

“i’ll be here to keep you company you can get ‘shit-faced’ another time.”

you’re pretty sure you’re going to burst into tears when you see jimin and a couple other co-workers seemingly having a bLast at the new club downtown from his snapchat story

you let out a grunt as you get up from your knees

you’ve been organising these damn files for like two hours

yoongi was done with his phone call like half an hour ago and then he said he was going to get some food

your stomach grumbles at the thought of food

you h8 your boss with a burning passion

another twenty minutes pass and you’ve never been so relieved in your life when you finALLY are finished with the files

it only took like 30 years to dust things off and then colour code them and then re label them and then arrange them alphabetically

“good job, y/l/n” you give yourself a pat on the back and then plop down on yoongi’s cushy office chair

wow you feel powerful just sitting here

it only takes a second for you to start spinning the chair in circles because this is literally your only form of entertainment for the night

“if you break my chair it’s coming out of your paycheque.” you stop spinning immediately when yoongi seemingly appears out of nowhere

you’re about to apologise profusely and get up but from the way yoongi tilts his head and offers you the smallest of smirks you know you’re not in trouble

“i wasn’t going to break it.” you grumble and you’re about to get off his chair and let him sit but he sits across from you instead

you’re in the boss’ chair and he’s not

how the tables have turned,,,,,,,,

“here. eat. the only place open at this hour was mcdonald’s.”

“you bought dinner for me?”

yoongi plops a paper bag on the desk and your mouth waters when he pulls out a big mac and an order of large fries

“oh gosh, boss. you didn’t have to go all out for lil ol me” yoongi can’t help but smile before he shakes his head and pulls out a miLKSHAKE

“a vanilla milkshake? i thought you weren’t into sugar.”

“it’s for you. i know how much you love anything that rots your teeth.”

that’s like

oddly sweet

but also kind of insulting

but still sweet in his own way

“i also bought a couple beers if you’re interested you won’t get shit-faced like you wanted to but you’ll get a little buzzed.” he pulls a niNE pack of beers out of the bag and cracks one open for himself

at first the meal is kind of awkward

the two of you are kind of just sitting there in silence eating food and drinking

but yoongi breaks the silence when he sees you dip a french fry into your milkshake

what

the

what the fuk

u so nasty

“that’s disgusting.”

“don’t knock it til you try it!” when yoongi opens his mouth to give you another snarky comment you shove a milkshake dipped fry into his mouth

he chews thoughtfully and then swallows

“what do you think?”

it’s sweet

and it’s salty

at the same time

somehow this disgusting combination works

“it’s… it’s okay, but it’s still disgusting.” yoongi mutters and takes a swig of his beer “here, i can’t finish all of these on my own.” he hands you a can of beer and you crack it open

the two of you spend the next hour eating and drinking

halfway through eating your milkshake became yours and yoongi’s milkshake

yoongi’s really enjoying your french fry hack in case that wasn’t clear

you’re really enjoying this beer it’s surprisingly good quality coming from the corner store

“i’m serious! i turned all the white sheets pink because of one red sock and jimin didn’t talk to me for a whole week because the two of us had to come to work wearing matching pink button-ups.” yoongi throws his head back in laughter and you suppress your own laughter by taking another sip of beer

the alcohol coursing through your veins is making you become a little more talkative than usual

“i have a question for you, boss”

“shoot”

“why do you hate me?” you push your bottom lip out in a pout and yoongi looks up at you in surprise as he wipes his hands off on a napkin

“where did you get that idea?”

“because you-“ hiccup “because you’re always so mean to me! like i know i didn’t have a great first impression but you knOw i’ve already apologised like a triLLion times for what i said and you also know i only say things to be funny but you’Re such a meanie-bobeenie sometimes it makes me wonder what the hell i’m supposed to do to make you-“

“y/n, i don’t hate you. i’m just-“ yoongi pauses to think “i’m just like that.”

why was he so mean to you all the time? he didn’t have a particular reason

maybe it’s like that thing where when kids have crushes on each other they’re mean to their crush instead of

wa,,,,,,aaaaaait a second,,,,,

yoongi has to admit he’s taken an iNKLing of an interest in you since your first meeting but it’s not serious or anything

like yes you’re attractive and you’re his type but,.,.,.,.,. ya you’re just his secretary it’s not a big deal he doesn’t like you like that

right

right???

“it’s, uh, it’s getting late - we should probably head home.” yoongi clears his throat and begins cleaning up the wrappers and napkins and ketchup packets

“thanks for treating me to an extravagant meal tonight, mr min. you really didn’t have to.” the two of you step onto the lift and you hit the ground floor level for yourself and the parking lot level for yoongi

“trust me, i did. i know how upset you were about not getting to go out with mr park and the others… and fast food makes everyone feel better. by the way - it’s after-hours. you can call me yoongi - mr min makes me feel like i’ve aged 50 years.” he nudges you playfully and you’re like i should get yoongi to drink more beers if he acts like this from it

and then ur like o wait that’s call alcoholism so maybe not

“touché.” the elevator dings and you look up “this is me! i’ll see you in the morning then, boss.”

before you get off the lift yoongi stops you

“sorry if i’ve been, um, a little hard on you since i started working here. you’re responsible and you’re hardworking i’m glad to have you as my secretary, y/n, even if i don’t show it sometimes. i promise i’ll try to be less of a… as you said, a meanie-bobeenie.”

that was,, unexpected

but aw!!!!

that’s nice of him to say

your lips tug up in a bright smile

“i’ll see you in the morning… yoongi.”you step out of the lift and you wave at yoongi as the doors shut

waking up in the morning for work feels a lot better now that you know yoongi doesn’t actually hate you

although your slight hangover doesn’t feel that great

you keep your sunglasses on when you walk into the office with yoongi’s coffee

and when you knock on his door and enter his office to see him also wearing his sunglasses you can’t help but laugh

“you’re having black coffee today, it’ll wake you up.”

“please tell me i don’t have any meetings today because i feel like death.” yoongi’s voice is all low and raspy and in ur head you’re like [h o ly shit that’s hot]

“i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have two. your first one is in ten minutes. and i suggest taking your sunglasses off before you head in there.”

yoongi groans and slams his head down on his desk

the next couple of weeks go by pretty smoothly

aside from like one or two-ish slip ups

“y/n?”

“yes, sir?” you’re about to leave his office after giving him his morning coffee

you were almost late but after you took your heels off in the middle of the street and sprinted back to the office you made it right on time

the downside of getting there on timE is the fact that in your rush you literally forgot to pick up yoongi’s cup of coffee that was SITTING ON THE COUNTER neXT to youRS YOU IDIOT

luckily you picked up a little trick

in case something like this happened, you always bought two cups of the same coffee

like if you spill one cup it’s fine because you still have the other

but in this case you only have one cup

and this is your cup

and it says ‘call me sometime :-) -jungkook’

jungkook is the cute new barista that started working at your starbucks like three weeks ago?? he usually has the morning shift

and yeah you’ve been having fun like,,, flirting with him

because he’s an attractive guy

chestnut brown hair

cute round eyes

adorable smile

and he’s very very verY charming

so SUE you if you’re having a good time!!!! (although you’re like low key leading him on so you better cut it out soon)

but it seems that today was the day that jungkook decided he’d finally make a move

because when yoongi turns his coffee cup and points to the note

you’re like ….:) shit :)

“who is jungkook, and why does he want me to call him?”

“…business proposal?”

“and his form of communication is via paper coffee cups?”

“kids are getting super creative nowadays, boss”

“mm, okay.” yoongi takes a sip of his coffee and lets out a small sigh “you sure this wasn’t your cup?”

“nope. i need at least like five pounds of sugar and creamer in my coffee.” you laugh awkwardly and back up towards to the door “i wouldn’t get the same cup of coffee as you in case… something happened… oH is that my phone ringing pardon me!!” and you slam the door and plop down on your seat and let out a breath

yoongi smiles to himself and shakes his head

but he’s definitely going to need to call this jungkook and tell him to back off

yoongi’s definitely warming up to you

after one of his meetings he passed by your desk and placed a pack of those mini chocolate chip cookies from the vending machine in front of you and you were like gASP a GIFT

“what’s this for??”

“for actually getting to work on time two weeks in a row. keep it up and i might just treat you to a chocolate bar, too.”

one day as you’re coming back from your lunch break you see yoongi at your desk huffing and grumbling to himself

“mr min?” he looks up at you and then looks back down “what are you-“

“i’m trying to photocopy this contract but your stupid printer won’t-“ he pauses to smack the side of it and you gasp in shock because he just whacked your bABY “won’t work!! i think we need to get you a new one.” he scowls and scratches the top of his head

you roll your eyes before gesturing for him to scoot and then bending down to check out how much damage he’s done (somehow he created a small paper jam)

“it’s my printer and it only responds to my magic touch.” you punch a couple buttons on the thing and it sputters for a second before a fresh photocopy comes out the slit “here you go, boss!” you hand yoongi the sheet and he’s like i could’ve done it myself ur printer is just weird and you’re like mMMmm

you sit down on your seat and yoongi’s about to head into his office before

“by the way - i’m going on a date tonight, with lisa. can you jot that down in my schedule? the dinner reservation is at 6.”

“date with lisa at 6” you reply almost immediately and begin typing it out onto his schedule

wait

what

he’s going out on a date?

your heart immediately drops to your stomach

all you typed in was date with lis and you’re getting up and stumbling into his office

you wrap your fingers around the frame of the door and peek in

“boss?”

“mhm” he doesn’t look up at you and you swallow nervously

“what,,, what do u mean you’re going out on a date”

yoongi looks up at you and is like ?

“it’s pretty self explanatory… have you never been on one?”

your cheeks flame up and you’re like “of couRSE i’ve been on one i just-“ you stop yourself and press your lips together because what exactly are you going to say to yoongi

oH i just thought maybe i had a shot with you because we’ve been spending so much time together lately and we’ve gotten preTTy close and i think nO i'm pretty sure i have a teensy weensy crush on you sir but enjoy your date!!!!!

you scratch the back of your neck awkwardly and feel your cheeks flame up at the fact that you…. definitely have feelings for ur boss

but he has feelings for someone else

ouch

“i just… wanted to remind you that you have a skype conference at 10 tonight. i, um, i’ll be working late so if you need help during the conference you know where to find me and stuff. uh, yeah. that’s it.”

“okay. what time is it?”

you peer down at your watch

“5:20. you should probably get going in the next 20 minutes so you won’t lose your reservation”

“mm.”

there’s a moment of silence and you take that as a hint to leave

“y/n, wait.” yoongi lets out a breath and he stops sorting through the papers on his desk

you spin around on your heels and you’re like yes???

“if i’m not back by 9:30 give me a call to remind me about the meeting.”

“yes, sir.” you sigh and shut the door

yoongi frowns once you leave

it'll be fine

he's going to have a great time with lisa

yeah

your chair squeaks under you as you plop down on it and lean back and look up at the ceiling

wow

well

you feel pathetic

what were you thinking?

of course he’s not interested in you

he thinks you’re just a klutzy idiot of a secretary

you thought something had changed between the two of you considering you’d been spending sO much damn time together and honestly speaking you had completely forgotten about lisa

were you really that crazy to think that mAybe there was ~something~ romantic going on between the two of you?

why did you have to be such a hopeless romantic

you definitely need to cut back on the romcom binge-watching sessions with jimin

and now your fukicgn eyes are starting to tear up

great

just gREAT

stop!!!!

no crying at work!!!!!!!!!!! you are a grown woman!! get it together for the love of god

you squeeze your eyes shut and curse to yourself when you feel a hot tear rolling down the side of your face and you use the sleeve of your blouse to dab it away

if yoongi comes out and sees you crying that’d be humiliating

just cry at home like a normal person

you calm yourself and distract yourself by scrolling through and organising your emails

soon enough yoongi’s door opens and he steps out and woW

he looks so dreamy

he fixed his hair and you’re pretty sure he changed into another shirt because this one has no wrinkles

yoongi adjusts his cufflinks before patting himself down to check for his phone and wallet

and before you can help yourself

“you look handsome, mr min.” you immediately look away when yoongi turns to look at you and you’re like hMMm let me take a look at this sticky note that only has a smiley face doodled on it

a small smile tugs at yoongi’s lips when he sees your cheeks warm a little

god u r so ADOrable

no! he scolds himself and reminds himself that dating someone you work with never ends well

he has to get over this stupid little crush of his and lisa is the perfect distraction

maybe he’ll end up really reaLLy liking lisa and then he won’t have to worry about you anymore

yep

that’s a good plan

“buy yourself some dinner. i’ll see you later.” yoongi tosses a couple crumpled up bills onto the counter and then he gestures to the hallway and then he’s off

you watch wistfully as he makes his way down the hallway

lisa’s one lucky girl

the next couple of hours really give you some alone time to reflect on what’s happening

let’s see

you like yoongi

a loT more than you thought you did

and he doesn’t feel the same way

nothing ever works out for you in the world of ~romance~

even in high school and college

no one was ever interested in u

and when you thought someone was interested they were actually just being nice to you

of course after you graduated things were a little different

you used tinder and ended up losing your virginity to this guy you’d texted for like a month

he came after like two strokes and then kicked you out of his place and that’s the most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you

great

you’re going to die alone

you groan and pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration

save the tears for home save the tears for home

you’re rarely at the office alone at night

usually there are other people on the level but tonight it’s just you

you would be creeped out but you’re too busy pitying yourself to be scared of any ghosts or demons potentially haunting the building

you finished work earlier than you thought you would and you were tempted to leave because you have nothing else to do but you told yoongi you’d be here

maybe he’ll give you a small raise for being such a loyal secretary

you just finished your dinner (fish tacos and french fries from the food truck across the street) and you’re just aimlessly scrolling through your facebook feed

it’s about 8:15 when you hear the faint ding of the elevator and you perk up

and then you hear yoongi

you recognise the sound of his walk

why did he come back so soon his meeting isn’t for like another hour and a bit

you get up from your chair and straighten yourself out and look up as yoongi approaches your desk

“back so soon?? it’s only- oh my goD” yoongi’s grumbling to himself while dabbing at his shirt that has a huge splatter of wine on it

yikEs

no wonder he’s back

it’s fine you’ll get him another shirt and he’ll head back to the restaurant

how did he pour sO much wine on himself

“i’ll get you another shirt, boss”

you immediately go into his office and grab a crisp shirt for him from his little closet

you walk out and

oh sweet baby jesus

you squeak and instinctively cover your eyes as your cheeks flush because

yoongi is shirtless

“sorry, i just wanted to get as much of it out as possible” yoongi’s not looking at you but that’s good because now you’re basically gawking at him

he has his shirt on your desk and is rubbing pretty hard at the purple stain

he’s kind of bent over and you can see his bicep flex every time he wipes

and o hl o r d

his back muscles,,,,,,,,,,,

“are you, um, is lisa waiting for you at the restaurant? did you just come back to change?”

yoongi pauses

“she went home. the date didn’t work out. there was no spark. the meeting is more important anyways” he grumbles before getting up and looking down at the shirt

“what- you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to but what… happened on the date?”

yoongi sighs as he slips into his shirt and you’re about to apologise because it’s really none of your business but then he speaks up

“i don’t wanna get too into it, but the gist of it is that she kinda just wanted me for my money and then when i accused her of that she threw her wine all over me” he shrugs as if that’s the most casual thing to happen ever

oh dang

that’s rough

that sucks!!!! lisa sucks!!!!! what sane person would be perfectly fine taking advantage of someone like that??

(you hated lisa the moment you met her)

“oh… i’m sorry, that sucks” is all you can manage because you’ve never been good with comforting people “if it… makes you feel any better i think her sandwiches are put together pretty sloppily i mean i could probably make better sandwiches with my feet”

that gets a laugh out of yoongi and he shakes his head

“yeaH i’m definitely going to take a break from sandwiches for a while”

he buttons his shirt up and fixes the collar before he moves past you and into his office

meanwhile you fold up his stained shirt and tuck it into your purse so that you can drop it off at the dry cleaners tomorrow

you figure you’d give yoongi a little alone time

you want to comfort him but you don’t know how

so you distract yourself by making a cup of coffee since it’s already pretty late

“you want a cup of coffee? i made extra” you poke your head into yoongi’s office and raise your brow when you see he’s not sitting at his desk

“i could use some caffeine.” yoongi’s standing at his closet and is currently trying to tie his tie but his fingers are not cooperating with him and he’s clearly struggling

you’re about to go and get his coffee but then you hear him mumbling about how dumb ties are and you can’t help it you need to help him out

“here, let me,” you click over to yoongi and slip in between him and the mirror before reaching up to fix his tie

he stares down at you as you wrap the blade around the tail of the tie and a fond smile twitches at his lips

there’s something different about you but he can’t point out what it is

your brows are knitted together in intense concentration and

wow you’re cute

“once around…” you mumble to yourself and pause, tilting your head in confusion

that doesn’t look right

“oh, wait. twice! twice around, sorry” you adjust the tie slightly and make sure it’s not so tight so that’s it’s cutting off his breathing lol

“twice around…” yoongi breathes out and his head lowers a little when you yank on the tie gently to tighten it

your eyes flicker up and your cheeks immediately flush when you realise how close you are to yoongi right now

you’re basically pressed up against the mirror and you’d only have to take like half a step closer and your nose would be touching his

you don’t know what it is but you find yourself tugging on his tie and pulling him down so that you can press your lips against his

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise but his lips are moving on their own accord

and for the first time evER

yoongi’s heart flutters in his chest

he’s never felt this way before

not even with lisa

your lips are so unbelievably soft

yoongi can taste the strawberry chapstick that he sees you apply all the time and he can’t help but suck your bottom lip in between his teeth

and when you let out a little moan of his name his hands itch to pull you closer because god daMn…

and then it hits you

you’re kissing yoongi

you’re kissing your boss

you’re not just kissing him you guys are fully making out

RED ALERT

what the hELL R U DOING

you immediately pull away and you are just,,, mortified

just because u haven’t gotten laid in like idk 8 months doesn’t mean you can go around KISSING anyone you like

get your hormones in check girl!!!!!!

this is not the way to comfort someone!!!!!!!

“oh shit- that wasn’t- i’m so sorry, i, uh- i don’t know why i did that but-“ yoongi’s about to speak up to calm you down and tell you it’s okay but then the skype ringtone echoes from his desk and the two of you are reminded that he has a very important conference call “okay, i’ll be out there, um, have fun??” you bolt out of the room and shut the door behind you and uGHHHH

for about forty minutes you’re just stewing in your own humiliation as yoongi takes his call

meanwhile yoongi can barely focus on what he’s talking about because all he can think about are your lips and how sweet you taste

you realise you’ve spent the last ten minutes just staring at a blank word document because all you can think about it WHY DID I DO THAT

you hear yoongi saying goodbye to whoever he’s talking to and you slap your face gently a couple times to snap out of it

maybe you can just act casual about it

haha yeah bro we just kissed but it’s fine it’s totally normal i kiss jimiN all the time

okay that’s not a very good approach to the situation

you don’t get a chance to come up with another brilliant solution because yoongi’s office door opens and he steps out before switching the lights off and tucking his phone and wallet into his back pocket

“c’mon, i’ll drive you home”

wha,,,, you don’t think you can survive a car ride home with yoongi because you’re still mortified about what happened

and he’s not bringing it up either so maybe he just wants to forget about it too

“oh, no, it’s alright! i can take the bus home”

“it’s a little past midnight it’s not safe. don’t be stubborn.”

“i’m not being stubborn! seriously, it’s fine” you wave him off before pointing to your laptop “i have some work to do anyway”

yoongi bends down to look at your screen and raises an eyebrow

“this is an empty word document.” he stands back up and looks down at you before nodding his head over to the hallway “pack up your stuff that’s an order.” he switches your desk lamp off for you before he’s walking towards the elevators and well you don’t have a choice now so

you shove everything into your bag and grab your cardigan off the back of your chair before quickly jogging over to the lift

the two of you step in and you’re standing so close that your arms are pressed together

but neither of you seem to be moving away

interesting

the two of you stare up at the little screen showing the descending floor numbers

“i’m perfectly capable of taking myself home”

“i’m aware”

“so i’ll just take the bus then?”

“nope”

“mr min “

“yoongi. it’s after hours. you can call me yoongi, y/n.”

((his name is cute to you for some reason))

“yoOngi. i don’t want to inconvenience you, sir. my place is like a twenty-minute drive away and your penthouse is like five minutes “

“it’s not an inconvenience. come.” you figure there’s no use trying to argue with yoongi

he pretty much always gets his way no matter what

maybe that’s why he’s so rich

you trail behind him and he unlocks his car (it’s a sleek black range rover!!!!!!!!!) and he gets into the driver’s seat while you slip into the passenger seat

“are you sure about this, yoongi? i feel bad because you’ve already had a bad night like don’t feel obligated to drive me home because i helped you tie your-“

“i’m literally not even listening to you right now” the engine purrs to life and yoongi pulls out of his spot

he has his sleeves rolled up and his tie is loosened and his hair is kind of messy probably from him running his hand through it (a nervous habit you’ve noticed he has)

…..god he looks sexy

it’s also pretty late and his voice has gotten slightly raspy and is like an octave lower

your mind wanders and you find yourself wondering what he’d sound like while

omg get urself together

you’re tempted to just not say anything for the entire duration of the ride and just let the radio do the talking but

“…so you really don’t know how to tie your own tie?” yoongi smiles at your question as he keeps his eyes on the road

“it’s too much effort, tying a tie. that’s why most of mine are those clip-on ones” he admits and your mouth drops because LoL you have this professional ceo who terrifies everyone and he uses lil clip-on ties like a little boy

“clip-on ties??? omG that’s so adorable you’re so cute” you blurt out as you laugh at him and yoongi glances over at you for a second before he shakes his head and laughs along

the rest of the ride to your place consists of you sharing funny stories and yoongi mostly listening and focusing on driving but he laughs a lot and you feel good because you think you’re making him feel better about the she who shall not be named situation

((lisa doesn’t deserve him anyways))

lisa is the last thing on yoongi’s mind because of you

:-))

he never really liked those sandwiches anywho

you feel kinda sad when he rolls up to the front of your building because you guys were having such a nice time

like you’ve literally never been so casual with yoongi before

you like spending time with him

…you like him.

that was probably pretty obvious considering you kissed him

he hasn’t brought it up,,,,,, which is kind of concerning but

knowing yoongi he’s acting professional about it

“thanks for the ride, yoongs.” the nickname slips out accidentally and you look up to make sure he’s not like disgUSted with the new nickname you’ve given him

“c’mon, i’ll walk you to the door”

he gets out of the car before you can protest

you hop out and shut the door behind you and he locks the car

“thanks for everything, by the way. i enjoyed your company tonight.” yoongi murmurs and in the dim streetlights you can see his cheeks go a little pink

“i know. i’m amazing company, what can i say?” you joke and yoongi rolls his eyes because of coUrse you would say something like that “i hope i made you feel a little better.”

“you did” the two of you stop in front of the entrance and you turn to face each other

“good! that’s good. well,,,,goodnight, boss” you’re about to zip right into the building but you’re stopped by yoongi tugging on your wrist causing you to spin around and all of a sudden you feel yoongi press the ~softest~ kiss to your cheek

aaAHHHHHHHHHHHH

“goodnight, y/n.” yoongi smiles kindly at you and you beam at him with pink cheeks before you nod and go inside

you can feel his gaze on you as you wait for the lift and you’re bouncing on your toes for some reason

you feel super jittery and you want to scream so loudly but it’s like 2am lol

the next morning you have a pep in your step and jimin’s like omg slow down i know you’re happy about the whole yoongi thing but i have short legs!!!!!!

your arm is linked with his and you’re basically dragging him down the street so you slow down and you’re like sorry i’m just,,,,, really happy,,,,,

jimin lets you get away with it because he knows you haven’t gotten some romantic action in a while

and suddenly your happiness is replaced by nervousness the moment you see yoongi

jimin yelps when you duck behind the corner and yank him with you

you listen for the ‘ding’ and you peek out from behind the corner to make sure the elevator doors have closed

“what was that????”

“i….,.,, i don’t know!!!” you snap and walk over to the lifts and push the up button quickly

“i thought you and yoongi had a greAT time yesterday so why’d you basically piss yourself when “

“i don’T KNOW STOP YELLING AT ME”

jimin takes that as a hint to stop and the elevator ride up is silent

you’re so flustered you forget to blow jimin an air kiss and he’s like okay now i look like boo boo the fOOL blowing a kiss to nobody

you plop down on your chair and put your purse under your desk and let out a breath

okay

whatever that panic attack was

it can’t happen again

how are you supposed to act around yoongi now??

you kissed him

he kissed your cheek

you guys had a great time

should you act more casual around him???

maybe you should ask him if he wants to go out for lunch

or is that too much too soon

oh god

“good morning, miss y/l/n.” you jump when yoongi walks past you and into his office

“good- hi, good morning boss!!!” you say a little too enthusiastically and you clear your throat

you stand up and clutch your iPad to your chest and waddle into his office

you curse to yourself and lean down to adjust your heels

“you surprisingly don’t have any meetings today but you do have to look over the rewritten company policies after that- um, incident that happened on the 45th floor and the financial precinct”

“okay. what’s for lunch today?”

“what’s for-“ oh no you weren’t prepared for this what’S THE PLAN Y/N WHAT’S THE PLAN “lunch is… with me. you’re having lunch with me.” is what you blurt out and you press your lips together when yoongi looks up from his phone and gives you this…. look

“unless you… unless you want a… sandwich or something i “

“where are we eating lunch?”

oh okay he wants to eat lunch with you that’s a good sign

“i’ll get some takeout for us? there’s a really good sushi place a couple blocks “

“okay. you can use my card. i like the spicy tuna rolls with those crunchy bits sprinkled on top.”

“okay! okay okay that’s- yes, those ones are nice. how does lunch at 12:30 sound?”

“mm.” yoongi scribbles something on a post-it note and you take that as a hint to get the heck out

you shut the door behind you

okay

so is yesterday just going to be an unspoken thing

fine

you can do that

whatever

keeping it casual

you can keep it casual

you’re as cool as a cucumber

you’re as cool as the sunglasses guy emoji

B-)

coolcoolcoolcoolcool

jimin pouts a little when you tell him you’re not joining him for lunch but when you say you have a lil sushi date with yoongi he’s like……. hmmmmmmm okay i’ll get over it :-))))))))

the sushi place is a couple blocks away

and to get there you have to pass by the sandwich place which isn’t a big deal

and when you get there you’re about to just keep walking because who cares about sandwiches anymore but

well you can’t help yourself

:-)

you walk in and lisa looks surprised to see you

“lisa.” you smile at her and then look down at the display case

“y/n! i, um, hi. hey. what can i get for you?” she scratches the back of her neck and can’t seem to keep eye contact with you

in fact she seems to be a little scared

now you know how yoongi feels

being powerful…… makes you feel niCe

“i’m in the mood for… a nice, hot cup of tea.” lisa nods quickly and punches a couple buttons on the cash register

“english breakfast or green?”

“english breakfast, please.” you hum and rummage through your purse for your wallet and hand her a couple of coins and then you go over and wait for it on the side

but you’re not just here to get a cup of tea

oh nonoOonononono

“y/n, here’s your tea!” lisa chirps happily and hands you your cup of tea with a smile

“thank you,” you take a tiny sip and then purse your lips and lisa’s like !!! what’s wrong??

“oof, i hate to do this.” you sigh and shake your head “but could you add a little more cream and a sprinkle of go fuck yourself?”

“sure i’ll just-wait w-what?” lisa looks up at you with wide eyes and you stare blankly at her

“…a little more cream and sugar?”

you hand her your cup and she nods quickly and adds in a splash of cream and even stirs it for you the polite little thing

“h-here you go, y/n”

“thanks lisa.” you begin walking away but you turn back to look over your shoulder “have a wonderful, gold-digging day!”

lisa grows pale

you dump the tea into the bin the moment you leave the sandwich place and head straight for the sushi place

you give yourself a high five for avenging yoongi in your own twisted way

“i’m bAck and i��m ready to eaT” you shut the door behind you as you enter yoongi’s office and frown when you see him typing an obviously angry email

now the past y/n would’ve immediately excused herself and then leave the room but for some reason you feel like,,,, you’re the one holding the power

maybe you’re still on a high from your encounter with lisa

so instead of being like oH i’ll just come back in a sec you stroll over and shut yoongi’s laptop and then hand him a pair of chopsticks

“i was in the middle of something.” his eyebrows knit together and he’s about to open up his laptop but you use the chopsticks to gently whack his hand and he flinches

“i’m aware” you wave the chopsticks in front of yoongi and he sighs and takes it “but the only thing you had today was half a cup of coffee. so we’re going to eat and then maYbe i’ll let you get back to work”

you take a seat and proceed to take the takeaway containers out of the flimsy plastic bag and yoongi’s just sitting there like since when did you become so,,,,, bold

“a spicy tuna roll with the crunchy tempura bits on top for you and a dragon roll for meEE” yoongi perks up when you pop open the lid of your styrofoam box

damn

your roll looks rly good

he looks down at his own spicy tuna roll

sure he likes spicy tuna but he’s not in the mood for raw fish today

“what’s in your roll?” yoongi raises an eyebrow when he sees that you’ve already shoved a roll into your mouth

the way your cheeks are filled resembles a chipmunk and he waits patiently for you to chew and swallow

“nice to see that you’ve got the eating abilities of a three-year-old toddler”

you roll your eyes and ignore his comment

“it’s tempura shrimp and cucumber on the inside and then avocado on top with a drizzle of spicy mayo i think” you pick up a sliver of ginger and pop it into your mouth and chew thoughtfully

meanwhile yoongi takes half a bite of one of his rolls and decides he’s over it

it’s good but it’s not tempura shrimp and cucumber with avocado on top and a drizzle of spicy mayo

“you forgot to shut the door.” yoongi uses his chopsticks to point over your shoulder and you immediately turn around and get up

didn’t you shut the door when you came in??

once your back is turned yoongi reaches over and snags one of your rolls before shoving it into his mouth

holy shit

this is SO GOOD

when you walk over the door… is closed

“the door wasn’t open” you walk back over and take a seat

yoongi swallows his bite and shrugs “sorry, my bad.”

okay he was originally just going to eat one and be done with it but he wants another one

“is that your phone ringing outside?” yoongi stops eating and leans forward a little bit as if listening to something

you turn back again and look at the door and try to hear for your ringtone

“i don’t hear anything”

“you don’t??” yoongi grabs another roll from your box and shoves it into his mouth

“do you think i’m going deaf or something because i seriously can’t hear a thing” you turn back just in time to see yoongi shoving one of yOUR rolls into his mouth

“did you just-“ yoongi wipes a dot of mayo off from the corner of his mouth and then swallows

you look down at your roll and count in your head

you only ate 1

but 3 of them are missing

omg

you look up at yoongi slowly and he takes a sip of water

“…yOU!!! you THIEF!!!! that’s not fair now you have to give me two of yours so we’re even” you reach over with your chopsticks and gawk at yoongi when he blocks your chopsticks with his own

“you don’t have any proof”

“i saw you with my own eyes yoONGI”

next thing you know the two of you are fighting with your chopsticks and using them like swords

it’s when a droplet of soy sauce almost stains yoongi’s dress shirt that he stops whacking his chopsticks with yours and holds a hand out to stop you

“tell you what-“ he leans forward as if negotiating some sort of business deal “you give me your dragon roll.” and then he doesn’t say anything else

“…and???”

“that’s it. you just give me your dragon roll.” the playful glint in yoongi’s eyes tells you he’s just kidding but you can’t help but scowl at him anyways

“you’re a lousy negotiator how the hell’d you become a ceo??” you end up sacrificing your dragon roll and yoongi gives you his spicy tuna roll which honestly is also pretty good

at the end it’s worth it to see yoongi humming happily as he chews thoughtfully

he’s so cute uWu

yoongi, to put it bluntly

is completely and utterly fucked

he like

kind of wants to bring up what happened between you two

but he also doesn’t know how

because he’s never been in thiS kind of situation before

so the kiss is kind of just a thing that’s been hanging in the air but the two of you act like nothing happened

uGh

all this relationship drama makes him feel like he’s in high school again

he just!!!!!!! wants to do something!!!!!!!! but he doesn’t know what to do!!!!!!!!

so when yoongi gets an email about the yearly company gala

a lightbulb appears above his head

“y/n i need you in my office” yoongi walks past your desk and into his office and you quickly spoon the rest of your rice into your mouth before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and going in

“what’s up? um, i mean- what can i help you with?” you clear your throat and lick over your teeth in case there’s any food stuck in between your teeth

yoongi sits down and leans back against his chair while keeping his eyes on you

“you’re coming with me to the gala tomorrow night”

oh what

you squint your eyes slightly and wait for him to be like lolz just kidding get back to work

but he never does that

you’ve never been to a company gala before

your old boss had a wife so it’s not like he had to ask you to accompany him

“you- me? you want me to come with you to the “

“we’ll leave after work tomorrow, so make sure you bring something nice to change into.” yoongi’s flipping through some papers on his desk and he reaches up to lick his finger before swiping to the next page

“sir, you don’t think it’s a little bit-“ your phone rings outside and you turn to look at the door before looking back at yoongi “-it’s a little bit weird for you to be showing up with your secreta-“

“go and pick up the phone. might be an important call.”

okay well

apparently you’re going to a gala now

tomorrow comes a lot sooner than you thought it would because the next thing you know work is over and you’re changing in the disabled washroom with jimin as your lovely assistant

“c’mon, suck it in” jimin grits his teeth as he tugs at the zipper of your dress “i told you to go for that blue one”

it’s a little black dress

off the shoulder

sweetheart neckline

it ends a little above your knees

“but i’ve never worn this dress before and i wanted to take it out for a spin!!” you wiggle your hips to try and help jimin and he lets out a breath of relief when he finally gets the zipper to zip up in one smooth movement

now you know why you’ve never worn this dress before

it’s so damn tiGHt

well honestly it’s not that bad but it’s just,, tighter than things you usually wear

at least your boobs look perkier

“if you bend down, this thing is going to bust open” jimin snorts and bends down to help you into your heels and he scowls when you put your hand on top of his head to keep yourself from toppling over

“how does it look?”

“it looks good, you look sexy” and sure you’re just friends with jimin but that comment gets your cheeks to flush a little bit and you can’t help but bite back with a “keep it in your pants, park” and he raises his hands in defence

“alright, you go and enjoy yourself at a fancy ball while i go home and pig out in front of the TV” jimin sighs dramatically and you laugh but give him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the washroom

you keep your eyes down as you click past the cubicles because you can feel everyone just staring at you and you hear jimin go like “i know her ass looks good but keep talking about her like that and i’ll knock u out” in the distance

you knock on the door to yoongi’s office and let yourself in and

wOOF

you see yoongi wear suits everyday but for some reason tonight he looks ten times more expensive

his hair is styled to perfection

his lips look extra pouty and when he licks over his bottom lip and moistens it you audibly swallow

there isn’t even one wrinkle on his shirt

not only does he look sexy he also smELLS sexy

the entire room just smells like yoongi

he’s on the phone and is scribbling something down so he doesn’t notice you yet

“yes, i hope to hear from you soon.” he has his phone sandwiched in between his shoulder and his ear as he adjusts his cufflinks and woW you are totally heart eyes emoji right now “take care.” he hangs up and gets up from his seat while looking for his keys “ready to go?”

“yep! let’s get a move on because i don’t know how long my feet are going to last in these heels”

yoongi’s hand stops searching and his eyes flicker to your heels and then his eyes slowly trail up your legs and the rest of your body

holy

sh…it

“you clean up nicely” is all he can say because words cannot describe,,, how sexy you look to him right now

okay calm down yoongi find ur keys don’t gawk at ur secretary

he finds his keys and tucks them into his back pocket but then he’s like oH hold on before i forget come here

and he rummages through his bag and pulls out a velvet box from fuckign cartier

“this is for you. for tonight.” he opens it and your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the sight of this gorgeous diamond necklace and you don’t even get a chance to protest before yoongi’s taking it out and moving behind you to help you clasp it on

you reach up and pinch the diamond charm between your fingers and then you turn to look at him over your shoulder and you’re like yoongi i can’t just accept a diamond necklace from u

“fine i’ll take it out of your paycheque”

“yOONgI”

“i’m kidding i’m kidding c’mon let’s go”

the car ride there consists of you humming and bopping along to whatever song is playing on the radio

yoongi calls you out on not knowing the lyrics and you’re like u know whAt i could just leave you at this gala thing and go home

“then i’ll fire you”

“you’re mean”

“i’ve been called worse.”

“by who??”

“by yoU”

lolz

when you guys get to the gala

all you can say is woW because WOW

you’re parked across the street from this huGe mansion that literally looks like the white house

“a bug is going to fly into your mouth if you keep gawking like that” yoongi places a hand on the small of your back and walks you across the street and you feel all tingLy

“are you kidding me yoongi do you sEE this place it’s HUGE”

“there are like 1000 people here of course it’s huge”

welp

that just adds to your anxiety

you clutch your purse tightly when you see some very veRy fancy looking people walk past you and into the building

you really don’t belong here

and it seems like yoongi can read your mind

“don’t worry, y/n. i’ll be glued to your side all night.”

“and why is that?”

“so i can make sure you don’t accidentally knock something expensive over.” the two of you make your way up the stairs and your feet are already beginning to throb from your stilettos

“you know what i’m not thAt clumsy” right as you finish saying that you stumble a little over your heels and yoongi’s grip around your waist immediately tightens

“…you were saying?”

you clear your throat and grab his arm and drag him into the building

this is…. this interior looks like it was ripped straight out of some kind of fairytale

huge glass chandeliers

marble columns

waiters and waitresses evErywhere

their uniforms look more expensive than your entire existence

and then you spot it

the f o o d table

“oh my god i see tiny baby sandwiches” you gasp and immediately head for the sandwiches and but yoongi grabs your wrist and tugs you backwards “whAt are you doing i’m so hungry i’m going to eat like 100 of those let me gO- “

“mr min! it’s so nice to see you!” you shut up immediately when the two of you are approached by an older looking couple and you put on your polite smile

“mr lee. it’s nice to see you again.” yoongi gives him a firm handshake and then turns to his wife “mrs lee- looking lovely, as per usual.”

“still charming, i see!” and you’re tempted to be like lol yooNgi??? charming??? wheRE

“and who’s this lovely lady?” the man smiles at you and you’re like whoops time to introduce myself

“oh, i’m y/n! i’m mr min’s secreta-“

“date. she’s my date.” yoongi wraps an arm around your waist and draws you in nice and close and you’re like ! ? ! ?

y/n.exe has stopped working

okay okay coolcoolcool keep it casual nice and casual

anyways you shake the guy's hand and you shake his wife’s hand too and offer her a smile

“gorgeous necklace! who gave it to you?”

well

time to keep it casual

“yoongi did!” you pat his chest gently “he knows i have expensive taste even though i’m only worth like 50 cents and a pack of instant ramen.” everyone laughs and yoongi laughs along too but he’s not really focused because he’s just so,,, entranced by you

you’re so unbelievably charming and witty

and god you look good tonight

you look like a million bucks even though you told him you got your dress for 70% off the original price

“could you excuse us for a second? i need some alcohol in my system otherwise i don’t know if i’ll be able to survive tonight.” you excuse yourself and yoongi from the couple and link your arm with his and now he’s like ! ? ! ?

“buddy system, yoongi. you can’t lose me in this crowd otherwise you’ll have to find a new secretary.”

“i don’t see the problem with that.” he earns a slap on the arm for that comment and he can’t help but smile at the way you scowl at him

you hand yoongi a flute of champagne and pick one up for yourself and the two of you clink glasses before taking a sip

ahHhHHHH

this shit tastes frickin expensive

it’s like liquid gold

you’d drink the whole bottle if alcohol poisoning wasn’t a thing

“you should take me to more of these things” you hum and take another sip before wiping off a bit of your lip gloss staining the rim of the glass

“and why is that?”

“not only am i greAt at charming people i also happen to really really like champagne” you tsk and yoongi laughs lightly

“charming people? ah, yes. as proven by what you said when we first met.”

“okay but if you weren’T min yoongi and you were some other person you totally would’ve thought what i said was charming”

“touché.”

the two of you spend the next half an hour just talking to each other

you’re having such a good time

yoongi’s a great person to talk to and with every passing minute you find your fondness of him growing and growing

you

are

whiPPEd

and with alcohol running through your veins you feel,,, a tad more confident

the buzz makes you feel giDDY

so you reach over and fix a strand of yoongi’s hair “i didn’t know this was a date, by the way.”

yoongi’s not surprised that you’re touchy when you’re tipsy

“what are you talking about?”

“i thought i was here as your secretary!!!!”

“you’ve never been on a date before and i’m a good samaritan who loves giving to charities”

“wha- i’VE BEEN on a dATE BEFore!!!” you scowl and yoongi rolls his eyes playfully “okay well it was more like a hangout with a bunch of friends but i really liked the guy and i think he liked me back and you know what he sat next to me when we were watching a movie so-“

“you don’t have to come up with a crazy story to try and convince me that you’ve gone on a date - this is your first date, and it’s with me.” he shrugs and downs the rest of his champagne “i have to go and talk to someone, will you be alright alone?”

“why can’t i come with you?” you whine and lean against yoongi a little and you’re a little too tipsy to notice his cheeks flare up

“because they’re all going to look at you like a piece of meat and i’d rather that didn’t happen.” you look over your shoulder and see a round table with a bunch of older men

your heart feels a lil fuzzy at the realisation that yoongi is,,, being very very protective of u

yoongi hands you another flute of champagne and sets your empty glass down “you’ll be fine in the VIP section just enjoy the drinks and don’T move from this spot”

“but i don’t wanna stand here-“

“i’ll only be like 10 minutes, you whiney baby. here-” when you open your mouth to speak he pops an olive puff into your mouth and then pats your cheek and slips past you

you want to pout but it’s hard doing that when there’s foOd in your mouth so you just watch yoongi as he walks away

of course he turns back to glance at you and gives you a warning look that says if you move from ur spot i’ll shank you

you hate being alone at parties and now you’re alone at this fancy gala

so you resort to your usual solution

scrolling through your phone while standing by the food and drinks

about five minutes pass and you’re already getting bored of the tetris game you’re playing

and then you hear two voices belonging to two girls and they’re standing a little distance behind you

“you think she fucked mr min so she could come here? i bet i could’ve fucked him better.”

oh hELL no

you would nEVER do something like that to get a job you’ve always believed in earning a position through hard work and determination

you want to turn your head and look at the two girls and confront them but you also want to hear what else they have to say

“oh, definitely. what a slut! fucked her way to the goddamn top. that’s how this business works when you’re desperate, i guess.”

you’re clutching your flute of champagne so tightly that your knuckles are starting to get white and you’re surprised the glass hasn’t cracked from the pressure

you can feel your entire face burning up with humiliation and you try to calm yourself by taking a sip of champagne but even good ol bubbly can’t help you

god

this was a mistake

you should have turned down yoongi

“the point is that she doesn’t belong here. especially in the VIP section with us??”

they’re right!!!! u don’t belong here!!!!!!! you are noWhere as rich and successful as these people,,,, you’re tempted to just ditch yoongi and go home

“that dress was a choice. this isn’t a strip club, honey.”

“god, look at her necklace. there’s no way a fucking secretary could afford that shit. how many times did she suck him off for him to give it to her?” the blonde snorts to herself - and raises an eyebrow in your direction

the introduction of a third voice makes you perk up

because that voice belongs to yoongi

he stands in front of them with his hands clasped behind his back

“zero times, actually. i suggest keeping your assumptions - which are all wrong, by the way - to yourselves.” yoongi smiles and tilts his head and the two of them go pale and exchange glances before looking down at the ground

it’s almost eery how calm and composed he is when he goes “miss cho, miss pak - i can destroy your pathetic little cupcake company with one phone call. have a good night, ladies.”

he walks over to you and you’re like >:-) when you see the security guards guiding the two girls out

“thanks for doing that”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about” yoongi downs the rest of his drink and sets it down on the table before taking your champagne and putting it down as well

“you didn’t have to be so mean about it, though”

“i still don’t know what you’re talking about.” he pauses “and yes, i did have to be mean about it. i never really enjoyed these gatherings, anyway. let’s get some ice cream.”

“don’t you still have business to tend to?” you gesture back to the table of men

yoongi shrugs “they’ll call me if they need anything”

you nod slowly and look around one last time “i thought you didn’t like sweet things though”

yoongi is very tempted to say even tho he doesn’t like sweet things he certainly likes you but

the cheesiness of it all makes his entire soul criNGE

“i can make an exception”

he google maps if there are any ice cream places near the event and luckily there’s one about a six-minute walk away

and so the two of you begin the mini trek

you should have brought your cardigan with you

you underestimated how breezy it gets late at night

yoongi obviously notices this and proceeds to take his suit jacket off before wrapping it around you

you turn and give yoongi a smile even though he’s looking straight ahead

“don’t look at me like that”

“like what?” you hum and link your arm with his and yoongi freezes for a millisecond at the contact

he grumbles something under his breath and you don’t bother asking him to repeat it

“sorry for forcing you to go to this dumb thing with me”

“it’s okay, i had fun! plus you’re treating me to an ice cream in four minutes time so that makes everything worth it”

a comfortable silence falls between the two of you

and it’s just the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement mixed in with the occasional car driving by

goD his suit jacket smells like him and it’s making you feel all woozy

when you get to the cute ice cream parlour yoongi opens the door for you like a true gentleman would and when you give him a little curtsey in thanks he can’t help but roll his eyes playfully while the tiniest of smiles tugs at the corners of his mouth

you’re adorable

and if it’s even possible you become even more adorable at the sight of the large selection of flavours of ice cream there is

“oH MY god red velvet cake ice cream??” your nose is practically pressed up against the glass and your eyes are big and sparkly

there are only like one or two other people in the parlour at this hour and yoongi’s glad because that gives the two of you at least a lil bit of privacy

he looks around a little and turns his attention back to the ice creams

“CINNAMON BUN FLAVOURED- you shouldn’t have taken me here boss the sun is going to come up before i make a decision” you shake your head and tsk and yoongi laughs at that “what flavour are you thinking of getting?”

“i was just going to get the low-fat low sugar vanilla frozen yogurt.”

“oh bOO c’mon live a little grandpa” you snort and shuffle a little to scan over the other flavours

“it’s not my fault-“ yoongi pauses and squints his eyes “-apple pie ice cream sounds like the nastiest thing in the world”

“how about you go and get us some seats and i’ll choose your flavour”

“but-“

“if you don’t like it then i’ll let you get your low-fat low-sugar low-fun stupid vanilla frozen yogurt” you negotiate and yoongi’s like okay finE i guess

he’s about to reach into his wallet but you stop him and you’re like nope it’s mY treat go and find us a booth

of course before he goes and finds the two of you a seat he makes sure to slip the cashier a couple of bills and is like i’m covering for whatever she picks out

yoongi decides to go with a lil booth in the back

just for a little more ~privacy~

and now that he has a moment to himself

oh my god what the fucK is happening to him

he doesn’t do ice cream??

he doesn’t do arm linking??

giving his jacket to someone because they’re cold??? not his thing!!!! he ALWAYS puts himself first!!!!!!

but most importantly

he doesn’t do the whole

romAnce thing

like after the whole fiasco with lisa he was like lol i’m not going to put myself through thaT again and then you came along and RUINED everything by kissing him and making his heart go boom boom because he’s finally realising that you’re just so terribly sweet and nice and kind to him even tho he’s a grade A asshole most of the time

he literally can’t get you off his mind

he thinks of you before he goes to bed ( ;-) )

he thinks of you when he wakes up

and then he sees you most hours of the day and you’re always there with a bright smile and you’re like good morning boss! and he wants to EXPLODE because gosh darn it!!!! you are so cute!!!!!!

and now he’s having a crisis because right now in this stupid ice cream parlour at 1 in the morning he is realising that he 110% has feelings for you and wants to kiss the heck out of you

“i told you it was mY treat!!!!” yoongi snaps himself out of it when you slide into the booth to sit next to him and usually yoongi would be like um,,,,, why are you sitting next to me it makes sense for u to sit across from me u idiot

he’ll.,,,,,… he can make an exception for u

ahem

you slide his cup over to him and yoongi blinks down at it

this…. multicoloured monstrosity with tiny baby marshmallows and sprinkles and chocolate syrup on top

“what flavour is this?? diabetes??” yoongi frowns and twists the cup around a couple times to look at it from all angles

“haha, very funny” you stick a spoonful of your ice cream into your mouth (u went with blueberry cheesecake flavoured ice cream) “it’s birthday cake flavoured! it’s wild but it’s not toO wild”

“you call this not too wild??” yoongi takes a small scoop “i can tell u right now i’m not going to like this because birthday cake is a cake it doesn’t belong in an ice cream” he puts it into his mouth

and you watch him as he processes the many flavours swirling around in his mouth

o shit

dis shit is gud

“well?”

“…eh” he shrugs “it’s passable”

you reach out to take his cup “i can always eat it for you and get you your froyo if you “ yoongi slaps your hand away from his cup and glares at you

and in your head you’re like lolz i toLd you so

“you wanna try some of mine?” you offer him a spoonful and yoongi takes it almost immediately

“i like mine better” he shrugs and holds a spoonful up for you “try some.”

as you’re leaning in to take the spoon into your mouth yoongi’s pulling the spoon farther and farther away from you and he feels his heart go boom boom again when you pout and go yOOooOngi pls

you hum when he finally feeds you the spoonful and you don’t even realise your hand is on his thigh and you’re practically pressed up against him

there’s a moment of silence where the two of you kind of just stare at each other

you’re about to pull away when suddenly

a cartoon exclamation mark appears at the top of your head when yoongi leans in and presses his lips against yours

you want to whine when he pulls away like a second later but you compose yourself quickly

“you had some ice cream there” yoongi clears his throat and focuses his attention back on his ice cream

you’re tempted to smother ice cream all over your face if it means yoongi will kiss you again

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise when you lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek

“you’re cute, you know that?” you murmur and yoongi grumbles that he’S not cute but his cheeks heat up anyway

the point is

you two are now realising

that you like each other

: )))

[screams into the void]

the car ride home is spent letting the radio fill the silence

your tummies are filled with ice cream

both your hearts feel warm and fuzzy (although that’s probably from the insane amount of sugar you guys consumed earlier)

yoongi parks in front of your driveway and is like c’mon i’ll walk u over

you kind of want to invite him in?? to talk about things?? like if he kissed u that must mean he likes you back but what if he’s only doing it because he still hung up over lisa and blah bLah

but for some reason u can’t find the courage because what if it’s true,,, that he’s only using you to get over lisa…. and you’re really enjoying this little bubble that the both of you are floating in right now…..

“i, uh, i’m just going to come out and say it” the two of you are standing by the entrance

you nod slowly and wait for him to continue

oh god

here it comes

he’s going to tell u he’s not looking for anything serious and then you’re going to have to deal with your romantic feelings for him for the rest of your life

“i had a lot of fun tonight, and i… i think i like you.”

you don’t even realise you’re holding your breath but all you can say is

“you like me or you like-like me????”

okay he’s going to ignore that question

yoongi literally feels like he’s in high school again he’s far too mature for this shit

“i liked you the day we met in the elevator and you unknowingly told me how much of an asshole i am, i liked you when you whined about getting my shitty sandwiches for me, i liked you when you made fun of me for not knowing how to tie my own tie the point is i like you and i like-like you. don’t… don’t make a big deal out of this i don’t have a lot of experience with confessions like this but i just need to know if you like me back or not”

yoongi feels his body beginning to cave in on itself when you stare at him like :0

he can’t even look you straight in the eye he’s just staring at the space behind you

“this is the part where you kiss me, yoongi”

he looks at you and he swallows thickly when you take a small step forward

usually he’s the one in power but right now you definitely hold the power over him

and then it happens

he leans down in one swift movement and presses his lips against yours

this is your third kiss with yoongi and it’s your seCOnd one with him toNIGHT

at first it’s a relatively innocent kiss

nice and slow

romantic

makes your heart flutter

but of course

the two of you know exactly where this is going

you feel your tummy doing summersaults when he grabs your hips and pulls you in closer

you wrap your arms around his neck loosely and grin when you feel his tongue prodding at your bottom lip and yoongi groans in his throat when you tangle your fingers in his hair and give him a little tug

“you wanna come in for some coffee or something?” you smooth down his collar and he presses a kiss to your mouth smartly

“…one cream one sugar?” you giggle and pull him in and the two of you stumble to the elevator

yoongi’s hands are aLL over you the moment you unlock your front door

your purse and your keys end up on the floor somewhere because you’re too preoccupied making out with yoongi while he presses you up against the wall

“i’ve wanted to rip this dress off of you the moment i saw you in it” your back arches so that he can unzip the back of your dress while he’s planting kisses to your neck and your shoulders

he lets out a throaty groan when he sees the lingerie you’ve got on underneath

you felt like tonight was an appropriate night to go full bougie so you treated yourself to some ~lingerie~

thank god you did

you gasp when you feel yoongi tug at your panties and you hear a couple threads snap so you slap his hand away

“yoongi!!! this wasn’t cheap!”

“i’ll buy you a new pair, fuck, i’ll buy you ten new pairs” yoongi groans against your neck and pushes his crotch into yours and you automatically forgive him

meanwhile you’re blindly unbuttoning his shirt

articles of clothing are tossed on the floor leading a trail to your bedroom

“you gonna be a good girl for me?” the bed bounces underneath your weight as yoongi gently pushes you onto the mattress

and goD he looks like sin standing above you and loosening his tie while looking down at you with dark eyes and swollen lips

“yes, daddy”

oh,,,,,,,, o oh my god

he wants to wreck you

“naughty little thing” he purrs then leans down to kiss you while slotting himself in between your legs

and the moan you let out when he rolls his hips against yours is something he’d want to listen to for the rest of his life it was possible

and then he’s leaving a trail of wet kisses down your neck and your chest and your stomach until his head is in between your legs

the coffee can definitely wait

; )

when he wakes up the next morning he’s surprised to see your chin propped up on his chest and you have the brightest smile on your face

“you like-like me”

yoongi groans and smacks you with a pillow to shut you up but he can still hear your muffled you like likE Me biTCH

the two of you get to work an hour late because yoongi decided he wanted to strip you out of your pencil skirt the second you changed into it

and everyone’s kind of like ?? what…… the..,.,.,.,fuuuuuu when the elevator doors open and they all catch a glimpse of you adjusting yoongi’s tie and yoongi leaning down to give you a kiss

you’re not sure if yoongi wants the entire office knowing about the two of you so you move to the side to let him walk out first but he grabs you and wraps an arm around your waist and walks the two of you out

and you’re like okay i guess this is a thing now

“good… morning, boss….”

“morning, sir…!”

yoongi pauses and turns back

“good morning, everyone. i hope you’ll all work hard today.”

and then he pushes you gently and the two of you continue walking down the hallway together

oh shit

yoongi just

yoongi just said good morning back

and now everyone’s even more confused because literally whose mans is this

you push his hand back up to your hip when you feel it sliding down a little and you retaliate by pinching his bicep

yoongi smiles and pinches your hip

you turn and look over your shoulder and it looks like the entire office is staring at the two of you like they’re just crowded around the beginning of the hallway

and jimin’s in the front like THAT’S. MY. BEST. FRIEND. Y’ALL. and he blows a silent air kiss to you and you blow one right back

wow

you love life

min yoongi and y/n y/l/n

b i g d i c k e n e r g y

yoongi joins you on one of your morning coffee runs because you spent the night at his place so he was like i might as well get coffee with u instead of u walking over here twenty minutes after we get to work

and ah

thIS is jungkook

handsome guy

he can see the appeal

“morning, kook” jungkook perks up when he sees you

you turned jungkook down one morning when he plucked up the courage to ask you if you wanted to grab dinner and see a movie sometime

he was heartbroken for like one minute but when you said goodbye and gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek and told him if yoongi was out of the picture u definitely would’ve ended up with him and he was like :-)))))

the two of you are good friends and he gives you discounts sometimes

“morning, y/n! i’m guessing you’re here for the usua……l…..” and then his eyes very slowly,,, trail over to yoongi who’s standing next to you

he can feel his fiery gaze through his sunglasses

“yep!”

“throw in a cake pop. kook.” yoongi coughs and gestures to the cake pops in the display case

jungkook almost shits himself at how intimidating yoongi is

“y-yessir. right on it… sir.”

after you pay for everything and go over to wait you turn to yoongi and you’re like stop staring at jungkook you’re scaring him

and yoongi’s just like >:-) on the inside because he loves scaring people

when jungkook hands the coffee over to you his grip around the cups are so tight you’re surprised the lids haven’t popped off them

“thanks kookie” you take the paper bag from him and shove your elbow into yoongi’s side because jungkook isn’t staring at you he’s basically staring at the counter

“yeah. thanks, kookie.” yoongi offers a smirk and jungkook’s just in a state of [E N DM YS U F F E R I N G]

you give jungkook an extra large tip to make up for yoongi’s presence

even though you and yoongi are officially together that doesn’t mean you can slack off during work

and you learn this the hard way

sometimes you and jimin are too lazy to text each other so you end up calling him

he moved to a bigger cubicle thanks to you and it’s in a more ~secluded~ area because you know he works best in privacy

“oh my god jimin the other night he fucked me so hard he nearly broke my bed like i woke up this morning and i found a crack in the headboard but honestly i don’t even care because he made me cum like three times and i am so sorry but mr min’s schedule is booked up for the next week i’m afraid i can’t slot you in until next month! yes, goodbye!” you clear your throat and hang up and look up at yoongi who is currently looking down at you with a very amused smile on his face

“…hi boss” your voice cracks and you clear your throat quickly

“miss y/l/n. who was that?”

“oh,,, just some… guy… calling about a meeting… did you…. need anything?”

yoongi shrugs and shakes his head “i’ll be in my office”

but of course

because he’s yoongi

he can’t help himself and he stops before going into his office

“i made you cum four times. if you’re going to gossip at least get the details right. tell jimin to get back to work. and i’m still waiting for the revised copy of the contract that you said you’d type up an hour ago.”

maybe u and jimin should go back to texting

“i have parts of it revised but i-“

“got distracted?” yoongi’s eyes flicker towards the phone “don’t let it happen again.”

“buT jimin was the one who-“

“don’t blame other people for your own crippling procrastination.” your cheeks burn up and you let out a huff because yoongi’s turned into an asshole boss again

“pizza at my place tonight? we’ll leave at 5.” yoongi swoops down and steals a kiss from you and you’re like hoW do you go from asshole boss yoongi to boyfriend yoongi so quickly “you’re sleeping over again, by the way.”

you cup his cheeks and keep him awkwardly bent over so you can give him another soft kiss and he hums

“you owe me a new headboard, mister” you boop his nose and he swats your hands away before standing up and adjusting his tie “the main reason why i’m sleeping over is because i’m scared that if i lie down on my bed it’ll snap in half”

“you know, you could always just move into my place, baby. i want the contract in the next ten minutes or you’re working overtime.” yoongi leaves you with that comment and goD HE’S SUCH A..,.,.,., he’S SUCH a yOONGI

even before you and yoongi got together he always stressed the importance of not disrupting any of his meetings

there are a couple exceptions like that time he told you ‘you hAve to tell me when mr kim calls’ and when you did you got in trouble for it (he apologised about that and admitted - he only did it because he liked watching you get all riled up)

yoongi cut your lunch break short because he wanted you to re organize your desk (which was something that you were going to get to aFter lunch) so yA you were feeling a little salty because you were really enjoying your noodles

and yoongi’s in the middle of a meeting right now but you just came up with another exception

:-)

yoongi’s leaning back against his chair and keeping his eyes trained on the gentlemen currently talking about the stock market and recent increases and decreases

thank god he has resting bitch face all the time otherwise it’d be obvious that yoongi was boRed out of his fuckign mind

his phone buzzes on the table and the guy falters for a second but continues to speak when yoongi waves his hand

interesting

it’s a text from you that just says : )

but something that’s more interesting

there’s a picture attached to the text

it’s probably just a meme you found off your Facebook feed

he should text you and tell you to get back to work

plus the guy isn’t even paying attention to yoongi he’s too busy explaining his pie charts

so yoongi technically isn’t being thAt rude

he unlocks his phone and opens the message app and

oh god

fuck

definitely not a meme

it’s a picture of u with your top unbuttoned exposing a sexy little bralette that definitely is not appropriate work wear

he didn’t see you put that on this morning whEn did youyou must’ve changed during work no wonder you took longer than usual to come back with his coffee

yoongi swallows thickly and lowers the brightness on his screen but looks back up at the presentation

he’s looking at pie charts but all he can think about is how badly he wants you over his desk

you’re slightly concerned when you see that yoongi’s left your message on read

uhHHhhHH

maybe this was a bad idea

maybe you pushed it too far this time

you were probably going to get in a lot of trouble

you’re chewing on your nails nervously but you’re like noPe i’m not going to overthink it and you set your phone down

it feels like a million years have passed when the meeting finally ends

you peek out from behind your desk when you hear yoongi walking down the hallway

and you feel a twinge of disappointment and humiliation when he walks past you and straight into his office

and then

it happens

“miss y/l/n. i’d like to see you in my office for a second.” and he has thAt look in his eye so you know you’re in a different kind of trouble

>:-)

instead of complying ur like oOf you know what i’m kind of in the middle of something i’m sorting out your-

“that was very clearly an order and not a question” and he disappears into the office and you’re just having the time of your LIFE

yoongi ends up fucking you on his desk with your skirt bunched up to your hips and your shirt completely unbuttoned so he can see this barely there bralette for himself

and you’re pretty sure he has a thing for your heels because he makes you keep them on

he has his hands pressed flat on the desk next to your head while your legs wrap themselves around his waist

“naughty baby, sending me a picture like that in the middle of a meeting…” yoongi growls and pushes your legs down and you let out a mewl at the pure pleasure coursing through your veins “say you’re sorry and i might let you cum”

“i’m- oh, god - i-i’m not sorry, though” even when you’re getting fuCked out of your mind you’re cocky and yoongi wants to fuck that smirk off your face

he delivers a particularly hard thrust that hits you right there and makes your back arch and your eyes roll to the back of your head

“i’m sorry - what was that? didn’t hear you, princess” and then he’s hitting that spot over and over and over and ovEr again and you’re gripping onto the edge of the table so hard you’re worried you’re going to snap a chunk off

“yoOngaaH! i’m s- i’m sorry i’msorryi’msorryplease i’m s so sorry” yoongi lets his head drop and he bites down on your shoulder as you claw down his back over his shirt

“good girl.”

this is like a 200 pound mahogany desk but he’s fucking you with such fervour that it begins to tremble underneath the two of you

after your mind blowing orgasm the last thing you expect is for him to turn you around and bend you over so your chest is pressed against the desk

yoongi bends down over you and you shiver when you feel his mouth against your ear

“you’re not getting away that easily” you whimper and the next thing you know yoongi is shoving his tie into your mouth to shut you up because he knoWs how loud you get when you’re overstimulated

he doesn’t bother teasing and pushes himself all the way in and lets his head drop to your back and just lets out this gutteral grOan

when you leave his office you’re all flushed and your shirt is wrinkled and buttoned wrong but yoongi isn’t any better

his hair is a mess and his shirt is mostly unbuttoned revealing the milky expanse of his chest that’s littered with splotches of your lipstick

he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in to plant a kiss on your cheek and then pats your bum and tells you to get back to work

one time you were going down on him and you freeze when you hear someone knock on the door so he makes you hide under his desk

it's jimin and he's like u..uh hey boss have u seen y/n?? i have to ask her to file this document for me but i haven't seen her anywhere

yoongi jolts when he feels you take him into your mouth again and he tangles his fingers in your hair when you start bobbing your head slowly

“sorry jimin, haven't seen her. come back in like... 20 minutes."

and jimin’s like okay yes sir and he shuts the door

after it’s all over jimin sEES YOU leaving yoongi’s office and he’s like oh y/n i was just looking for-

wait

but

but yoongi said he didn’t see you and

you were in his office and

your lipstick is smudg,,,,ed,,,,….., your hair.,,.,.., is kind of tousled,,, more tousled than usual…..

you and jimin are kind of having a stare off and you’re waiting for it to happen

and five seconds later it hits him

when he opens his mouth you slap a hand over it and you’re like i’ll buY YOUR LUNCH FOR THE NEXT WEEK just don’T SAY ANYTHING

jimin’s like no i don’t give a shit about you going down on him at work what i’M freaked out about is the fact that he seemed so calm and composed while you were sucking him off

min yoongi is a man of many talents and one of them is being able to hold a poker face for eternity

you unfortunately are not as talented at keeping it cool as your boyfriend

which is something he both loves and hates about you

tonight yoongi’s working late again which means that you have to stay late too

you don’t hAve to but,,,, you like to keep yoongi company and also being completely alone while he’s working forces you to actually do your damn job

“who are you calling?” yoongi steps out of his office and tugs his tie loose before rolling up his sleeves

“mr jung’s secretary- if he’s ever going to pick up the damn phone. i’m trying to reschedule your meeting with mr jung because it overlaps with your meeting with mr kim this coming thursday.” you don’t even look at yoongi when you speak and scribble something down on a post it note before sticking it on your wall calendar

“which mr kim?”

“the…” you pause to think “the one with the hair” you gesture to the top of your head

“…they both have hair”

“i know i know i’m saying this one is the one with the blonde- hi! hi, i’m miss y/l/n, secretary of mr min yoongi. i’m so sorry for calling so late into the night but i just needed to…”

he loves watching you work so hard

his little busy bee

yoongi grabs the arm of your chair and swivels you around so you’re facing him and you give him a look that says what do u want i’m busy

your eyes almost pop out of their sockets when yoongi drops to his knees and settles in between your legs

“of course, i can wait for a minute-“ the second the secretary puts you on hold you put a hand over the receiver (just in case he can still hear you) “yoongi, no!!”

“yoongi, yes.” your body automatically listens to him as he taps the side of your thigh for you to sit up a little so he can push your skirt up

“i’m on the phone, yoongi. you can’t do this right now just give me like three minutes” you hiss but your legs naturally spread for him and he just smirks up at you and is like mmmmm your body is telling me otherwise

you reach over and push the speaker button and then hang up the phone and thank god the secretary still has you on hold because you are using a range of very colourful words to scold your boyfriend

“i’ve called mr jung’s office before- his secretary puts you on hold for like ten minutes you’ll be fine” you don’t know how he does it but the next thing you know your panties are gone and your boss/boyfriend’s head is buried in between your legs

“oh goD yoongi please don’t stop” you whimper

his fingers dig into the meat of your thigh so he can keep your legs spread because you keep twiTCHINg

“hello?” you want to scream when the holding music turns off and the secretary comes back on

“yoongi stoP you have to stop” you gasp and arch your back against the chair and yoongi’s hand snakes up to push against your tummy

“pick up the phone and do your job” yoongi presses a kiss on your inner thigh before giving you a small nip and you thank the lords above he’s going to let you take this call first

yoongi leans back a little and fixes his hair

“hi, yes, hello” you’re a little breathless as you unmute yourself and you clear the throat

“i’m having a little trouble with the scheduling here. mr jung can only do thursday next week, otherwise i’ll have to pencil you in for next month.”

“he can’t do friday or anything?”

you give yoongi a warning look when he begins pressing a trail of warm kisses from the inside of your knee to your inner thigh

“i don’t think so.”

“when does his- oH” you nearly bite your tongue off when yoongi suddenly attaches his mouth to your clit and your fingers immediately tangle themselves in his hair

“sorry, what was that? didn’t catch you.”

“his- whendoeshislastmeetingonthursdayend??”

“uh.. hold on, let me check here…”

you bite down on the inside of your cheek and your head flops back against your chair as you focus on the ceiling and try your hardest not to moan

yoongi can’t help but smirk when the smallest of whimpers slips past your lips

it’s when hE lets out a low moan against you that you gasp loudly and your toes curl in your heels

“his last meeting ends at 6:30 that day how about mr min?”

“five forty fiVE” yoongi throws one of your legs over his shoulder and oh my goD you want to die this feels amazing and you can’t make any sounds and your body is currently telling you that hEY i’M ABOUT TO HAVE AN ORGASM

so that puts you in a panic because there’s no way you’re going to cum and have a normal conversation with a stranger so “you know what give me five minutes to reorganise mr min’s schedule and i’ll call you right back”

you hang up the call and the next thing you know you’re seeing stars and yoongi’s name keeps slipping past your lips in the form of whimpers and moans and yoongi is just soaking it aLL up

“that was a close call, no?” yoongi looks up at you from in between your legs and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

“i hate you.”

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