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[fantasticsandwich]

Assorted snippets from Pi.G.Mo

I feel bad for not posting in a while, so have some short stories! These take place in the same universe as Stockholm in Oslo, so again, some context is missing, but Darcy's is the "good ending," while Milan's is the apocalyptic/worst possible outcome.

tw: dub-con/coercion (in Milan’s), NOT CILLIAN content bcuz dude is in purgatory rn 😞

DARCY

Most of his classes are either online or at night and you're still juggling freelance gigs, so time isn't the reason you haven't met up in over a month. Ever since your favorite cafe closed down, you and Darcy have been struggling to find a new point of rendezvous. Houses are too personal. Parks and bookstores are too date-y. The mall is not an option because neither of you can choose stores you both want to visit, but you desperately need to torture yourself with his presence.

        After days of back-forth, Darcy concedes to your foolish offer. He decides that for now, the local Costco will suffice as host to the newly anointed Cost-Brunch. It goes without saying that neither of you have memberships, so you borrow a card from someone at the co-working you frequently. You arrive an hour early to get some shopping done. Wholesale prices are incomparable, so you stock up on toilet paper. Most snacks aren't to your liking, but you enjoy cycling through the sampling booths, indulging in just enough scraps to ensure that you won't pig out on Darcy's dime.

        Living alone has it perks. You can finally stock the fridge as you please, walk instead of traipse, and spend however long you need in the bathroom without being rushed. The one unexpected pitfall no amount of advice and sermons could've prepared you for was how you'd have to spend every day of the rest of your life deciding what to eat. Fortunately, you're fond of meal planning and dedicate Mondays to preparing your meals and completing other chores. Sometimes, you invite Darcy on these excursions. The anonymity of living in such a large town is enticing but despise how much you rely on his company. Meeting once a week for over a year now has caused the chemicals in your brain to broil and bubble over, sending your emotions askew.

        You must be a masochist, because you love nothing more than torturing yourself with his presence. Is it right to feel such a longing for a mere friend? Are you even more than acquaintances? Suffering through similar hellscapes doesn't make for a strong foundation, but when you're drowning at sea, you can't help but cling to the first piece of driftwood that floats by. Desperation makes every coincidence a miracle, every act of kindness a declaration of his undying devotion.

        Platonically, of course, because friends spend their weekends grocery shopping and reorganizing each other's pantries. What's friendship if you can't do that for each other?

        Sighing, you pile items from your list into the cart, shuffling along. On occasion, you struggle to wrangle an oversized box from the shelf. Buying in bulk isn't ideal nor optimal for your limited, but in the long run, it's more cost-efficient. You'll fork over a large sum now instead of having several micro-transactions.

        "Y/N?"

        In all your pyjama-clad glory, you turn around and discover Darcy, poised in business casual, curly coils askew beneath the Texan heat.

        Before you can mutter a response, he's approaching, taking the hefty load from your arms. Straining, he crouches down and slides the case onto the bottom rung of the cart. When he stands, you find yourself stuck between him and a looming shelf. Standing this close, you see beads of sweat dot his forehead, glistening. His long eyelashes reflect the fluorescent lights.

        "Oh, hey," you casually say, diving to the side to avoid his gaze. You drape yourself across the basket, but in your carelessness, the cart creeps forward, causing you to eventually smack your chin against the handle. Recoiling in pain, you shield your chin and stare straight ahead. With your gaze finally directed at him, you notice something peculiar. "How the fuck did you find a handbasket? What do you even shop for with something that small?"

        Lifting his arm, the basket slips from his grasp, nestling into the crook of his elbow. "I don't strive to live in gross excess."

        You give him your signature frown as you inspect his meager supply. A pack of chips, cotton swabs, and a comically large soap dispenser. "We're in Costco, buddy. There's no need to limit yourself."

        "Right," he says, somewhat dubiously.

        An unwanted lull cleaves the conversation. You hadn't intended to meet with him just yet, but now that you're here, you might as well prolong the day. Darcy agrees when you propose finishing your shopping together. Or rather, you relent your cart to him, allowing him to push it along while you snatch items from the shelves. When you approach the checkout counter, he separates his shopping from yours. Instead of queueing with you, he waves and waddles into the line running parallel to yours.

        Standing side-by-side, you stare at each other. An unamused worker passes between you two, pallets shuttling along.

        "Wanna get hotdogs now?" you ask in unison.

        You roll your eyes. He smiles. Mentally, you wonder how much that careless response of his would cost in gold.

        Shuffling to the food court, you shoe your way into line while Darcy plops his pathetic harvest into your cart and parks it at a table. He rejoins you, and you both pretend to ponder the limited choices before ultimately ordering two hotdog-and-drink combos. Side-eyeing him, you decide to tack on two strawberry parfaits. He moves to retrieve his card, but you grab his wrist to stop him. Perplexed, he tilts his head. You dismiss him with a huff and reach into your bag. You're so happy to see him. Anyone who makes you happy shouldn't have to pay in anything but time, which you will gladly take.

        "Nah, let me. I'm the one who wanted to come here, anyway."

        "Thank you," he says. Then, he adds with a strange, practiced cadence, "Very polite. Very considerate."

        "Shut up."

        You stop his nonsensical jabbering before it can ruin your mood. Grabbing the trays, you feign contempt and stomp away. Easily acquiescing, he grabs your elbow, allowing himself to be guided by you. With Darcy to protect, you effortlessly glide between oversized carts and distracted patrons, reaching your table at the end of the row. Darcy doesn't release you until you hand the plates over. Retrieving napkins and utensils, he sets the table as if it's fine dining, and not the Costco-feteria.

        "What a gentleman," you say, scoffing as he pulls out an imaginary chair.

        "For all I've done, it's the least I can do."

        It's a simple enough statement—perplexing, if you're considering his typical concise communication—but it warrants an eyebrow raise. For all he's done? Darcy has done more favors for you than you could ever dream of returning. That time he spotted you cash for rent when you were running short, the times he brought you food to fuel you out of a depressive spell, the countless more occurrences when he picked you up roadside when your car broke down, and all the times he was too social and friendly and nice to stay at your side and left you alone at that party when she was looking for you when the world kept spinning and spinning and—

        Upon second thought, maybe it isn't what he's done for you, but what he hasn't.

        But with how much effort you've put into forgetting, you'd rather not drown in the past.

        "Y/N?"

        His voice summons you back to the present, where you're strangling your hotdog. Ketchup oozes between your fingers like viscera. Grabbing a handful of napkins, you wipe it from your skin, but that icky, sticky feeling remains.

        "Yeah, all good. Just in awe of how I'm big balling, shopping and getting us both food," you plainly say, earning another laugh. Your heart melts. You love how he's all smiles and shrugs with you, like nothing bad exists in the world.

        "I don't think that's how that saying goes."

        Shrugging, you return to munching away, but that odd feeling won't go away. Something about sitting there, messy and paranoid, reminds you of college. You'd sit in the studio, wondering what to paint, if anything would be good enough to earn that extra few thousand in funding, if anyone would ever find your art worthy of viewing. But those sentiments hadn't lasted long: uninspired, you painted Darcy, and everyone has always loved harmless Darcy, so he helped you for the umpteenth time and helped you earn that scholarship with his looks alone.

        "Hey, n/n," says Darcy, leaning closer, covering his mouth as he speaks. You flinch away, smelling the grossly aromatic hot dog on his breath. "Do you know that guy? He keeps staring at you."

        A pang of dread strikes you when you see a gleam of that tight-lipped expression, hear the lingering vestiges of Her in his dry tone. You thought he was different, but he was also Hers at some point. It's no wonder that he might have one of her habits. Another person is giving you attention, and instead of ignoring it, you're betraying him by entertaining the notion. Then, with a jolt, you remind yourself that Darcy has no right to feel that way. He wouldn't. He can't. His mind is different from hers. He is only a friend and does not desire to be more.

        "I don't," you say with a shrug, though your hands tremble on your lap beneath the table. Like gears being cranked, you force your head to swivel. Discretion is for socially awkward people, so you stare at the figure despite Darcy's protest. A man in a black hoodie sits hunched over a slice of pizza, picking off the olives. You don't recognize his face, but unmistakable acrylic streaks paint his hands. Faintly, you recall a brush between those slender appendages, that mole on the junction between his index and middle fingers. "But now that I'm looking at him, he looks kinda familiar. I think we might've gone to the same high school. Some of college, too, maybe. I might've had the same time scheduled in the studio with him or something. What was his name? Something that starts with an M."

        "Oh! Then, Minhee, maybe? I think I saw that name, 'Toh,' on the lapel of his jacked, but I didn't really hang with anyone from any of the sport teams." Dragging Darcy into your shameless habit, you both offer the man a sidelong glance. Maybe-Minhee recoils, drawing his hoodie up to conceal his face. For a moment, when he turns away, you imagine yourself in his position, sitting alone amongst the crowds, pretending to be indifferent to your own loneliness.

        Indignant, you turn away, returning to your parfait. You hate people who remind you of those days. Spearing a strawberry, you watch its blood seep into the white. You give it a whirl, rubbing the carcass along the cup's transparent mouth, scraping off any excess yogurt before popping the fruit into your mouth. The ice melts on your tongue, then you devour the ripe berry.

        "Yeah, me neither. They were all sorta weird."

        Darcy releases a small laugh and slips his hand slips into yours. With a fond smile stretching his cheeks, he runs his thumb across your knuckles. You shiver at the contact but nevertheless drag his hand up to graze your lips. His skin is too sun-kissed to blush deeply, but you see how his head dips, causing his hair to sweep down and obscure his face.

        "Seriously, tell me about it. With how everyone else from our graduating class turned out, I think we're the only sane people who managed to escape that insane asylum."

        Most of your small class has taken meandering paths. While everyone's journey follows a different route, it's sad to see people who still cling to bygone moments as if Julimes High celebrated homecoming yesterday. You wouldn't be here if you placed any value in that time, and you don't see how anyone can claim otherwise. Work might dictate your schedule, and you might live in fear of not receiving enough commissions to pay your bills, but you couldn't be gladder that school and the perpetual half-life surrounding it is over. Living for yourself, on your own terms, is all that matters.

        You shiver. Darcy shrugs off his coat and offers it to you. You quickly zip it up and tug the zipper over your nose, hiding your flustered expression. He smells nice, like vanilla and sandalwood. Clearing your throat, you set your mind back on track. "Dude, don't even mention it. That hellhole shut down for a reason."

        Darcy laughs, displaying rows of pearly whites. His eyes twinkle into endearing crescents. Warmth blossoms in your chest. You love this feeling, the casualness, how he never asks for anything more. It's freeing, in a way. You don't know what you are. Friends found in fate, acquaintances bound by circumstance. Maybe something more, but you're too scared to ask and sever these fine threads. For now, he is happy with you, and simply knowing that is enough.

MILAN

Storms abound in sun-kissed paradise; summers in Belmopan are characterized by tropical monsoons. It isn't everyone's idea travel destination and houses too many decent memories, but your fiancée's wallet is loaded, and your pitiful protests are ashes beneath the flames of her cataclysmic will. For most couples, the honeymoon usually came after the wedding, but there wasn't anything conventional about your union, so you saw no reason to protest when Milan had the gall to propose the idea of embarking on one prior to the wedding before accepting the offer on your behalf again.

        The trip was arduous; a procession of suitcases jammed into the car, bidding a tearful goodbye to the Rosettis outside the airport, your own parents nowhere in sight. They didn't have a role to play in any of this. They didn't accept the relationship like Milan's did, so it was better if they had nothing to do with it. Somewhat hesitant, you had agreed: you recall how Milan out of your mother's house to a chorus of sorrowful shouts and shattering glass.

        What did you do to my daughter? You bastard! You should rot in hell alone! You've already caused us enough grief.

        What did she do? What hadn't she done? Even if you're grateful that someone could still love you, you have the sneaking suspicion that if you got a chance to travel back and change it all, you would ensure things wouldn't end up like this. In retrospect, you could see all of your mistakes laid out like dominoes. If only you hadn't offered to let the new girl borrow your fancy markers. If only you hadn't gone to that sleepover in eighth grade. If only you hadn't let her have her way.

        Exiting the taxi, you squint up at the sky. You let Milan pay the fare while you move to silently unload your suitcases from the backseat and trunk. Milan snatches up the carry-alongs. You stare longing at the pocket she's tucked your passports and wallets into. She's relying on you to protect her if someone tries mugging her, but if that fear is ever realized, then you'll find yourselves bleeding out in a gutter somewhere.

        You pile the suitcases onto each other, every finger extending to tug one along. When Milan seizes your face and presses a kiss to your lips, you think of how dead a gutter isn't the worst position you might find yourself in on this trip. You try shaking her off, but she steals your breath until content. You pull away, huffing for air. You're not an affectionate person by nature, but it's always been difficult to reject Milan's advances. Her head, resting on yours during the plane ride. Her hand, clamped around yours, all the way from the airport to your five-star, all-inclusive resort.

        Too dangerous, you say. Milan says she's willing to take the risk, but you are not. When she gets like this, you sigh and suggest leaving the public eye. Still refusing to catch a hint, she intertwines her fingers with yours. Somehow, the judgmental glares of a crowd are less pressing than her singular attention.

        The cool air conditioner hits you as you enter the lobby. The place is decorated with leather furnishing and sleek, reflective columns. You see your reflection on one and tug the hem of your dress down. As you wait for the receptionist, Milan moves to stand behind you, arms firmly wrapped around your waist. Her fingers run over your stomach. She remains like that even when the concierge calls you up.

        "Reservation for the Rosettis."

        The man hands her a key to a penthouse suite. You want to be surprised, but at this point, nothing she does is novel. The perks of having rich parents, you suppose. At least now, you'll live a mostly carefree life. So long as you comply, the world is hers to parcel out to you.

        Although you met long before, your life with Milan officially began during the final year of college. Right when everything began falling apart, when everyone rejected you and scorned your devotion to your craft, she took you back and pieced you together again. She helped you move out of that toxic household. She opened your eyes to how the world wronged you, and how with her, everything could be alright.

        And she was right. So long as you behave, life with her can be calm. Mostly peaceful, because no matter where you go, you'll never be able to shake the stares. Out of the corner of your eye, you spy an elderly couple, white-haired and donning matching Hawaiian shirts. They stare at Milan's hand around yours. Milan, noticing the way your grip tightens, halts to size them up. You wouldn't put her above being willing to punch anyone.

        Just when you're preparing your heart for the barrage, the old lady's words cause your shoulders to slump. Still, you do not experience relief.

        "You two are adorable," says the lady, face wrinkling as she offers a smile.

        "Thanks." Milan squeals. Nearly forcing your arm out of its socket, she lifts your conjoined hands, proudly displaying the sleek bands. "We're on our earlymoon. The wedding is this upcoming spring."

        "I love this generation, doing as they please."

        "Milan likes trends," you say, using your voice for the first time in a while. "I think her vision is really something else."

        The old man shares a knowing nod with you. Still, he speaks to Milan. "Your wife there doesn't look too happy."

        "Leave the poor girl alone." The old lady jabs him in the side. "The trip over must've been rough."

        Squeezing your hand, Milan plopped her head onto your shoulder. She breathed a shaky sigh against your skin. "I hope we get to grow old together like y'all."

        The couple offers her a final fond smile before she's tugging you along, eager to reach your room. You drag the suitcases along, hearing the wheels turn, then bumble over the lip of the elevator. The ascent is silent. Milan hums along to the bossa nova tunes. You used to like jazz, but Milan doesn't, so you don't listen to it anymore. She's the trust-fund in the relationship, thereby, the breadwinner, and as long as your bills are paid and she only demands your undivided attention once a week, you'll bend to her will.

        Your floor is sparsely populated and has a high ceiling. The halls are large and illuminated by chandeliers. Your room is the third in line. Milan takes the key and taps it against the handle. With a melodic beep, the door pops open. She presses against it with her hip, jamming her foot against the door to hold it open as you ferry the suitcases inside. Expelling the dastardly things from your hold, you flop onto the bed, feeling gooseflesh arise on your exposed skin. The sheets are cool beneath you. You move to tug your dress back down, but Milan intervenes.

        "Stay like that," she says, slapping your hands away. Her hand lingers on your knee. She delivers two resolute pats, then arises, moving to retrieve something from her bag.  "I want a picture."

        Flushing with shame, you turn to hide your face. She doesn't care, not when you're spread out so deliciously.

        The shutter clicks. Pulling away, she scrutinizes your form and frowns. Your heart staggers. Wrinkles aren't good. Milan would rather die than shrivel and prune. She must always look like the timeless portraits adorning the walls of your shared apartment, not a day older nor younger, so she cannot frown. You must fix the world and all its problem for her. You must keep it turning, maintain its precarious balance between the extreme poles on its axis. You must make her smile.

        "What's wrong?" you tentatively ask.

        "Why are you posed so awkwardly? And frowning, too. You're happy to be here with me, aren't you?" Arms crossed over her chest, Milan prattles on with conspiracies. You're only with her for the money. You never loved her. Maybe she's finally catching on, yet too stupid to realize. "Don't tell me you regret getting engaged. I'll make you pay me back for the vacation and ring if you're thinking about breaking up with me now."

        Mangling your tongue to ribbons, you whimper and look to the sky, beseeching an unyielding god. The sun is still too bright. Your bones will melt into microscopic sand particles before you'll manage a smile. You don't want to. You'd rather die.

        But for her? For her, you will become anything and everything because you must. She convinced you to stay. She showed you how she'd live without you, or rather, how she wouldn't. So won't you push it all aside—every blight and blemish—and smile only for her? It makes her feel alive.

        After a lifetime of obeying her whims, it isn't as if you can decide otherwise. Tomorrow is already promised to infinity. For her, your teeth pull back in a grimace. Like a corpse strung up by a cruel puppeteer, your arms jerk upwards. The camera flashes, and your pantomime is sealed into pixelated eternity. Your smile, that soulless, grotesque glean, will belong to her forevermore.

        "God," she groans, a light blush painting her cheeks. "You look so cute whenever you get like this. Wanna devour you so badly."

        She doesn't waste a moment. Setting her phone aside, Milan saunter over, stopping at your side. Leaning over, she slaps a hand around the back of your neck and smashes her lips against yours. Groaning at the sudden contact, your mouth parts. She takes the chance to shove her tongue down your throat. Head dropping, she plants kisses down the smooth expanse of your neck, occasionally halting to pinch the skin between her teeth. When she desires to taste more of you, you feel her lift the hem of your dress. You sit there, head thrown back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling as she prepares to take what's hers.

        It wasn't always like this. It wasn't meant to end like this, either, but at some point, you realized it had to. You had to become Milan's. You had to stay at her side because you couldn't stand otherwise. She knew you, heart, soul, body. No one else could touch you like she had. You'd never loan anyone else the sympathy, the unconditional love.

        Being sad in paradise is a travesty. You try to think of anything that makes it worthwhile. You can't feel bad forever. Maybe someday, you'll learn to reciprocate, and it'll all start to feel good.

        For now, if you throw your head back and close your eyes, pretending to enjoy it, maybe you'll convince yourself that this is right, that this—her nails digging into your thighs, prying them open as her mouth and fingers and tongue conduct their sinful ministrations—is what you've always wanted. If you enjoy it now, it won't hurt as much later. Maybe someday, if she tries hard enough, you'll be convinced to love her the way she loves you.

        Sun abounds in fire-razed lands. You await the storm to quench the burn. You await ashen, volcanic saliva to muddle the water, to taint it. Do you want this as your life? Her, as your wife? The ring clamped around your finger says you do, for now and infinity.

[nickgerlich]

Last Time

They say you never forget your first time. But what about the last time?

It’s Sunday, and as I like to do, I’m veering outside of my normal lane to ponder something that’s not in the news, yet as much a part of everyone’s life as anything. Put on your thinking caps, kick back, and stroll with me down Memory Lane.

The longer you live, the longer the list becomes of the things you have done for the last time. But in all likelihood, you did not know at the time that it would be your last time. I know. There are somber instances in which we might be with loved ones on death’s doorstep. There are those occasions when we vacate a residence and say farewell to it. For the most part, though, we do things unknowing that it is indeed the last time.

For example, have any of you even used a payphone? Maybe you will never have a first time, much less a last time. But I am old enough to have dropped many a dime, and then later a quarter, into the slot to make a phone call, basically a mobile call without a truly mobile device. Finding an operating payphone these days is exceedingly difficult.

Or how about the last time you used a VHS cassette? Audio cassette? And for people of my age, 8-track tape? I won’t add vinyl, because they have enjoyed a resurgence, a rarity these days, but little different from the surge in film photography as well. My records and old cameras have new life, but those are few and far between.

And what about those plastic cards in your billfold? I remember when a retailer or gas station attendant had to use one of those clunky card swipers that made a loud “ka-chunk” sound when you ran the swiper over it, effectively making an imprint of your raised-letter card. Oh, but that was after they looked through a frequently published book of bad credit card numbers to make sure yours did not appear there.

Then we graduated to cards with magnetic stripes on the back. How many of you had some of these? And do you remember the last time you actually swiped a card through a mag reader? That’s not that long ago, because it has only been a few years since the arrival of chip cards, which we insert and wait for the prompt.Even that’s old, though. I was reminded of that now-dying technology at the gas pump in Winslow Arizona, where I found myself looking for the tap symbol somewhere, only to discover they had not upgraded their pumps yet. We tap for everything these days, right?

Do any of you have a checkbook? I still do, but I often go three months between writing any. Between online bill pays, Venmo, Zelle, and other options, I just don’t have much need to write a check. And I will be honest in saying that I am happy those days are more or less over, because there was nothing worse than having to wait at the grocery for some little old lady with shaky hands to write out her check. You could watch Oppenheimer and she still wouldn’t be done.

I could go on. Air Fryer instead of a convection oven. Streaming over cable. Automatic transmission over manual (oooh, that’s an old one!). PDFs and scans over faxing. Hotel reservations on an app versus on the computer, or—shudder—by phone. Googling over card catalog. Smart home versus dumb home. Smart TV over dumb TV. Renting music on Spotify instead of buying CDs (it has been more than a decade for me). AI instead of writing it yourself. The list could go on for days, and were my father alive, he could tell you about the last time he punched a hole in the lid of a beer can with a church key, because pop tops had not been invented yet.

My point is simple: Technology continues its maddening rush to the future, constantly upsetting the apple cart, kind of like Apple just did last week when it announced Apple Intelligence, effectively rebranding everything we had learned in the last 19 months. Name it, claim it. Sorry, Siri, there’s a new kid in town. And that’s a blog for another time.

Have some fun with this. Take stock of where you are now, and how your life has changed as new innovations and technologies have been introduced. Think about the things that somehow faded into the rear view without you even realizing it at the time. I bet your list is long, even if you are only a third of my age. And it is just going to get longer.

Yes, you really do never forget the first time you did something, but I am betting that as you age, the nostalgia gene will take over and you will spend more time reminiscing about the old days. You might not recall the actual “last” time, but you’ll recall how life was for all the times.

It’s a great time to be alive. Make the most of it, and savor both the firsts and the lasts alike.

Dr “Reeling In The Years” Gerlich

Audio Blog

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Gainesville Coins - Products and Services Offered

Gainesville Coins offer a wide variety of gold and silver products to its customers across the country.

They include the following: Gold Bullion There are three major types of gold bullion offered by the company. They include Gold bars: The conventional way of buying gold bullion is in the form of coins. Bars cannot be used as legal tender. Their value is determined by their actual gold weight (AGW). It is much easier to buy gold bars online through Gainesville Coins.  Gold coins:  Gold coins are often considered the safest way to buy gold. The coins are fully backed in faith and credit by the government that offered them.  Pre-1933 gold coins: Most gold coins were made by countries around the world before 1933. Private gold was outlawed in the United States in 1933 by President Franklin Roosevelt. Silver Bullion Coins People normally purchase silver rounds for different reasons. You can decide to buy them for artistic purposes or hold them and sell them later at a higher price. The company sales silver bars and silver rounds from trusted brands including the following: - Mercury Dime Design Silver Rounds - Silver Buffalo Rounds - Morgan Dollar Design - Masson Mint Heritage Silver Rounds - Peace Dollar Design Silver Rounds  - Walking Liberty Design Silver Rounds

Gainesville Coins Legit- Storage and Shipping Costs

You will find a lot of dealers advertising free shipping cost offers. But the truth is that most dealers include the so-called free shipping cost into the price of precious metals and premiums.

At Gainesville Coins, we give you a simple way of determining how much your shipping fee will be before placing an order. All you need to do is add all the items you would like to purchase to your shopping cart and type your shipping code into the shipping calculator. 

Gainesville Coins Legitimacy

Just like any other investment firm, Gainesville Coins has its own merits and demerits. It is up to you to look at both the pros and cons and make an informed decision. 

Gainesville Coins has a huge selection of gold, silver, and platinum products. They are a fantastic companion if you are a collector. The business sells a variety of historic coins.  Gainesville Coins is well recognized for its gold, silver, and platinum coins that are IRA-eligible. But the company doesn't currently sell items containing palladium. Most of the products are frequently marked as "out of stock" by the company. In some cases, clients lament the excessive commission charges.  A key player in the precious metals industry is Gainesville Coins. It has a solid reputation and has been in operation for more than 20 years. Customers can choose from a sizable inventory at the business. The main office of renowned precious metals trader Gainesville Coins is in Lutz, Florida. The business boasts a sizable collection of various gold and silver assets. Additionally, it asserts that it has some of the finest pricing on the market for its goods. They sell them at wholesale pricing and have a huge inventory, which is responsible for this. Some clients, however, report that the business frequently lists the majority of the products as "out of stock".  Gainesville Coins is a respectable business, however, we do not suggest working with them.  They are not a fraud, but unlike other businesses, we have written about on this website, they are not the ideal option for IRAs or gold investments. Let's look at some of the reviews

People highlight the pros and cons of Gainesville coins as there are pros and cons with every company.

Yelp At the time of our most recent check Gainesville had a 2 out of 5 stars rating on Yelp, based on 22 reviews. These reviews were varied and customer ratings ranged from a minimum of 1 out of 5 to a maximum of 5 out of 5.

BBB Gainesville Coins have been accredited with the BBB since November 2006 and they have been awarded an A+ rating which on a scale ranging from A+ to F is the highest achievable.

At the time of our most recent check, there had been 104 complaints closed with the BBB in the previous 3 years and 87 closed in the previous 12 months.

Gainesville Coins Legit: Summary

Gainesville Coins is a serious player in the precious metals industry and have a good reputation. They have a large inventory to choose from and a good online shop. They are members of our connected to several precious metals-related authoritative bodies and they clearly put an emphasis on offering good customer service and on maintaining their reputation and profile. Particularly with regards to precious metals IRAs, we would prefer it if they offered flat as opposed to scaled storage fees because their comparatively higher storage cost could potentially offset their competitive prices. Opening a precious metals IRA is a major decision. That's why I suggest checking out our top gold IRA providers list. There, you can find the best precious metals dealer in your state and choose accordingly. Also, the list will help you understand what the industry's best has to offer. Also, it helps with what you might miss out on. Find the best Gold IRA company in your state Read the full article

[universalinfo]

Behind the Scenes: How Travel Bloggers Fill Their Wallets

Ever caught yourself scrolling through a travel blogger’s Instagram, sighing at the mesmerizing sunsets, luxurious resorts, and vibrant cityscapes, and thinking, "How on earth do they afford all of this?" Well, my friend, you're not alone. It’s a question as old as social media itself. 

Lucky for you, we’re about to unravel the mystery. Let’s dive deep into the fascinating world of travel blogging and how these wanderlust-filled writers manage to turn their passion into a paycheck. Know more about us at https://www.dreamswishestravel.com/.

Affiliate Marketing: The Silent Profit-Maker

We’ve all been there: reading a blog, stumbling across a tantalizing link to a must-have travel gadget, and before you know it, it's in your cart, and you’re hitting 'checkout'. But here’s the secret sauce: when you buy through that link, your favorite blogger might hear a little “cha-ching”. This is the magic of affiliate marketing.

Bloggers sprinkle their posts with these affiliate links, leading to products, services, or even accommodations they've tried and loved. And when you, the reader, take their advice and make a purchase, they earn a nifty commission. 

The best part? It doesn’t cost you an extra dime! So, the next time you snag that recommended pair of hiking boots or book that cozy B&B, give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve just helped fund their next escapade, all while getting something fantastic for yourself.

Sponsored Content: When Brands and Bloggers Unite

Scrolling through a travel blog, you might occasionally spot posts tagged with ‘sponsored’ or ‘ad’. Now, before you raise an eyebrow, hear me out. This means a brand has collaborated with the blogger to showcase their offerings. 

But it's not just about the money. The most authentic bloggers will partner only with brands they truly believe in, ensuring that their recommendations are genuine and not just a paid promotion.

These collaborations offer readers a fresh perspective on new products, destinations, or services they might not have discovered on their own. For instance, a blogger might get sponsored to spend a weekend at a new eco-resort. They’ll share their genuine experiences, the highs, the maybe-not-so-highs, and everything in between. As readers, we get the inside scoop, and the blogger gets compensated for their time and effort. 

Sharing the Wealth: E-Books and Online Courses

Many bloggers, equipped with years of experience, venture into creating e-books or online courses. It's their way of sharing the treasure trove of knowledge they've accumulated over years of globe-trotting.

From "Mastering the Art of Solo Travel" to "Becoming a Digital Nomad," these resources are goldmines of insights. They help newbie travelers dodge common pitfalls, save money, or even start their blogs. 

Plus, it's a brilliant way for bloggers to give back to their community while also earning some income. So, next time you come across a blogger offering a course or e-book, consider diving in. You'll be gaining invaluable insights and directly supporting their future adventures

Picture-Perfect Profits: Selling Photos and Videos

Imagine a sun-kissed beach at sunset or the electrifying cityscape of Tokyo by night. Got that image in mind? Good. Now, wouldn’t you love to capture it forever? Many travel bloggers do exactly that. 

But here's the twist: those breathtaking snapshots often do more than just jazz up their Instagram feed. They can also line their pockets. By selling or licensing their visuals to magazines, travel websites, or ad agencies, bloggers turn their eye for beauty into a stream of income. 

Think about it: a single exquisite shot of the Northern Lights could grace the cover of a travel magazine or be the backdrop of an ad campaign for winter wear. And every time these images find a home, it's payday for the blogger. 

So the next time you're left awestruck by a travel photo, remember there's a tale of hard work, patience, and often, a sneaky mosquito bite or two, behind that perfect shot.

Personalized Adventures: Guided Tours and Retreats

Ever fancied strolling through the back alleys of Rome, discovering local secrets and tales that no guidebook ever tells you about? Well, some travel bloggers are turning such dreams into reality. After years of personal exploration and countless adventures, many have evolved into unofficial ambassadors of their favorite destinations.

They curate and lead personalized tours or retreats, leveraging their vast knowledge and unique experiences. As a participant, you get a behind-the-scenes look, venturing beyond the usual tourist trails. 

It's like exploring with a friend, a very well-traveled friend. From tasting hidden culinary gems in Bangkok to meditative retreats in Bali, these tours promise unique, immersive experiences. And for the blogger, apart from the earnings, it's a chance to relive their favorite memories with like-minded souls.

Dreams and Wishes Travel: Crafting Your Picture-Perfect Getaway

When it comes to the crème de la crème of travel experiences, Dreams and Wishes Travel, Inc. is a name that often lights up the marquee. Imagine planning an American dream vacation. Now imagine planning it without any stress, with every minute detail tailored to your whims and fancies. Sounds unreal? That’s what they specialize in.

The process is akin to weaving magic. It all begins with an intimate chat. What's your fantasy holiday? A frolic in the world of Disney, a thrilling escapade in Universal Parks, or perhaps a serene sojourn through the Hawaiian Islands? 

Once you spill your dreams, the wizards at Dreams and Wishes get to work. They craft preliminary itineraries, peppered with experiences that promise to leave you spellbound. After some collaborative tweaking, it's time for them to sprinkle their final pixie dust, ensuring every booking and every reservation is in perfect order.

But here’s the cherry on top: even as you’re living your American dream vacation, they’re just a call away, ready to whisk away any hiccup. It's like having a guardian travel angel. From the moment you dream it to the moment you live it, they've got your back. And if that isn’t magical, what is?

Conclusion

So there you have it, the secrets behind those envy-inducing Instagram feeds and blog posts. Travel bloggers have crafted an art out of their passion, and it’s an art that pays. If you're inspired to start your journey, remember to do it with authenticity, passion, and a touch of business sense.

And if you ever need help in turning your travel dreams into reality, you know who to call. Dreams and Wishes Travel has been our trusty partner in numerous adventures, making every trip feel magical. Let them guide you on your next escapade. After all, isn't it time to get your dream vacation started? 

Read More:

Sailing with American Cruise Lines: Top 5 Playful Destinations to Explore in 2024

Beyond the Castle: How Disneyland Journeys Heal and Rejuvenate the Soul

Traveling in a Digitized World: A Dive into Universal Studios Orlando Resort’s Future Experience

[ikckidsclub]

AFFORDABLE FASHION FINDS: BOY’S EDITION

Are you prepared to go out on a journey into the world of fashionable and affordable kids’ clothes?Welcome to “Affordable Fashion Finds: Boys Edition,” presented to you by 13 International Kids Corporation, the best place to buy kids clothes online. We’ll reveal the mysteries of Baby Boy Dresses Online buying in this interesting blog, where cost and style mix without trouble. Join us as we explore the fascinating world of fashion and how you can Buy Boys Trendy Clothes that will keep your little ones looking dashing without breaking the budget.

At 13 International Kids Corporation, we passionately believe that everyone should have access to style, even the future fashionistas. The day when fashionable clothing was saved for special occasions is long gone. You can now easily dress your youngster in stylish clothes every day with the choice to Buy Boys Trendy Clothes online. Our goal is to make kids wardrobe decisions more enjoyable for them and easier for parents. We provide you a variety of looks that will not only make your child feel and look lovely throughout the day, but also confident and at ease.

SETTING A FASHION BUDGET

Setting a budget gives you control over your spending and allows you to set aside money for special events or seasonal wardrobe enhancements. When you Shop Kids Clothes Online in India, you’ll have a better idea of your total spending and be more ready to make choices that will keep your costs down while maintaining your child’s sense of style.

MIXING AND MATCHING BASICS:

Buying timeless and flexible essentials is one of the best online shopping strategies for children’s clothing. These essentials for your newborn boy’s wardrobe can be combined and matched to create a range of fashionable outfits. From our extensive selection of baby boy clothes online, think about ordering a few solid-colored t-shirts, comfy jeans, and classic shorts. You can simply mix these items with various dresses by choosing neutral tones, making them a cost-effective choice for every season.

ACCESSORIZING ON A DIME:

You can boost your newborn boy’s style quotient on a budget by adding accessories, which are essential. Don’t forget to shop our collection of fashionable yet reasonably priced accessories when you buy baby boy dresses online. From smart hats to unique belts and beautiful braces, these simple accessories can quickly liven up any look. The best aspect is that they are affordable. By accessorising on a budget, you can try out several styles without going excessive.

MUST-HAVE CLOTHING ITEMS

Trendy T-Shirts: Every youngster should start his wardrobe off with a range of stylish t-shirts. From fun prints to traditional stripes, these versatile pieces are ideal for everyday wear. You can simply Buy boys trendy clothes from 13 International Kids Corporation, featuring a large selection of fashionable t-shirts for your young one.

Comfy Jeans: Boys of all ages always need a good pair of jeans. Jeans can be worn up or down for a variety of occasions, including school, a family excursion, or a simple playdate. Shopping for baby boy dresses online? Don’t forget to put a sturdy pair of jeans in your shopping cart.

Cool Sneakers: Invest in a pair of stylish shoes to finish the casual look. These versatile shoes go perfectly with practically any outfit and are great for active kids. Sneakers are a must-have item while shopping for boys stylish clothing.

Stylish Outerwear: Depending on the weather, a stylish jacket or hoodie is necessary. During the colder months, it keeps your child warm and gives their clothing an added layer of flair. When you buy kids clothes online, these wardrobe basics are effortless to come across.

VERSATILE PIECES FOR VARIOUS OCCASIONS

Classic Polo Shirts: Polo shirts are an excellent option for a more refined appearance. They are ideal for social events like family reunions, birthdays, or even semi-formal occasions. You can quickly identify these flexible dresses when looking for baby boy dresses online.

Dressy Occasion Wear: A collection of stylish attire for formal events is essential for every kid. Consider purchasing a fashionable jacket, a fresh white shirt, and a pair of matching shoes. All of these are necessary if you wish to choose stylish clothing for boys for formal occasions.

Casual Shorts: A couple pairs of cosy shorts are essential as the weather starts to warm up. These flexible outfits provide your child comfort and style whether it’s for a day at the park or a beach getaway.

Sleepwear Sets: Don’t forget of bedtime! Comfortable sleepwear sets are crucial for a good night’s sleep. When looking for Buying boys trendy clothes, look for stylish and comfortable choices.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, giving your newborn boy fashionable appearance doesn’t have to be an expensive task.You can keep your child looking stylish while keeping on a budget by making wise accessorising choices, using DIY fashion hacks, and buying kids clothes online. Our goal at  13 International Kids Corporation is to give you the best options to buy boys casual wear so that your child’s comfort and style are never sacrificed. Explore our collection now to update your newborn boy’s wardrobe on a budget.

Reference Link:- https://13ikc.com/affordable-fashion-finds-boys-edition/ 

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What to Purchase From a Recreational Dispensary in Los Angeles

Whether you’re on vacation, new to cannabis, or a veteran smoker—there’s a lot to consider when shopping at a recreational dispensary in Los Angeles. You’ll encounter different strains, concentrates, edibles, brands, and more. So, what should you purchase the next time you visit Roots LA? Let’s take a deeper look at the best options to keep in mind.

What to Buy if You’re Visiting California You’ll definitely want to stop by a dispensary if you’re visiting California or on vacation. That said, you might not have enough time, space, or freedom to enjoy certain products. Fortunately, you can select products that are portable, low-key, and disposable.

Pre-Rolled Joints Pre-rolled joints are fantastic if you’re on vacation or traveling through the state. Pre-rolls can be affordable without losing potency. They provide a traditional way to enjoy cannabis, and you’ll find various Indica, Sativa, and Hybrid strains. Joints can be ideal for multiple people, as they’re easy to pass around and share.

Consider brands like Baby Jeeter, Froot, Pacific Stone, and Dime Bag the next time you visit Roots LA.

Cartridges and Vapes In some cases, the smell of a joint can be too noticeable. Maybe you’re with family, on a work trip, or in a non-smoking hotel. Cartridges and vapes are perfect for these situations. You can find cannabis carts that are budget-friendly, potent, flavorful, and disposable.

These products can be used right out of the package and have a lower profile aroma. Depending on your tolerance and usage, one cart can last an entire trip. Look for disposable brands like STIIIZY, Rove, and Dime.

Edibles Lastly, edibles can be a fantastic choice if you can’t smoke or need something entirely low-key. Edibles like gummies, brownies, and drinks don’t have a powerful aroma and are easy to transport. Tiny cannabis gummies in low dosages can also be ideal when you’re on the go.

Just be sure to watch your dosage range if you’re not experienced. Newcomers can experience unpleasant side effects if they aren’t careful. Dosages between 5-20 mg may be ideal, but ask your budtender for their recommendation.

Get Discounts on Your First Order! We offer a wide variety of daily deals and discounts besides just the ‘Deals’ tab on our online menu. We have a deal for you whether you’re a recreational, medicinal, veteran, disabled, or senior customer! Here are some deals to expect the next time you visit our weed shop:

20% off your first order on all products 15% from 6 AM to 10 AM every day 15% from 2 PM to 6 PM every day 5% off for veterans, seniors, and disabled visitors

Visit Our Recreational Dispensary in Los Angeles Today! Look no further than Roots LA If you’re searching for the best dispensary menus in your area. We offer a wide variety of brands, strains, and products for you to choose from. You’ll find incredible products with options like Kush Mints, Area 41, and more. If you get stuck with all the choices or need a gentle push in the right direction, our budtenders are here to help.

Our knowledgeable staff of budtenders is here to guide you through the process and ensure you find the best product for your needs and tastes. So what’re you waiting for? Come visit us in person at 11045 Sherman Way Sun Valley, CA 91352 or call us at (818) 210-0095!

[gashouse720]

Pre rolls 100 at $1200

Pre rolls 100 at $1200

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Buy Cobra Extracts Online from Authentic Vape Carts

Cobra Extracts is a company that believes in cannabis and strives to produce the highest quality all natural cannabis products available anywhere. Buy Cobra Extracts Online from Authentic Vape Carts. We give the best client experience to the least cash purchase. For more information, visit the website.

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Buy Fruity Pebbles cartridges

Most importantly, Fruity Pebble is a dank bud with a delicious tropical smell.

The plant is a light green, with orange pistils, and frosty, hairy trichomes. click on link below for more informations : 

https://www.buybestmarijuana.net/product/fruity-pebbles/

[the-bjd-community-confess]

IDK who needs to hear this but add it to your cart and go to bed. If it sells out it wasn't meant to be. Think it over. Give it time. Online marketplaces are a siren-song call to action that will nickel-and-dime you to financial ruin if you let them. Check your bank account before buying anything. Add up the cost of your current lay-aways before you commit to something new -- and above all, prioritize your living expenses and put down savings first and foremost. Treat yourself with love.

~Anonymous

[iraempirecom]

Is Gainesville Coins Reputable?

Is Gainesville Coins reputable- Introduction

Is Gainesville Coins reputable- Gainesville Coins was founded in January 2000 and has its corporate headquarters in Lutz, Florida. The similarity of the three contact names suggests that the company is primarily run by family members.   

Gainesville Coins asserts that because of their vast inventory, they have been able to sell the majority of their products at a discount. These prices are significantly less expensive than those provided by smaller sellers. Tiered pricing, which entitles you to simple discounts if you buy more amounts, is what they use for the majority of their products. They have a minimum order requirement for everyone who wants to buy from them or sell to them.    Gainesville Coins is a member of the American Numismatic Association (ANA), the Certified Coin Exchange (CCE), the Industrial Council for Tangible Assets (ICTA), and Coin Net. The business is a government-approved distributor for a number of Mints around the world. These include the Royal Mint (UK), the U.S. Mint, the Pert Mint (Australia), the Royal Australia Mint, and Monnaie de Paris (France).

Storage Options available

Gainesville claims that because of its large inventory, they are able to offer wholesale prices which are more competitive than those of smaller dealers. Also, they offer tiered pricing on many of their products which means that you can benefit from discounts if you purchase larger amounts. They have no minimum order requirements when you are either buying from them or selling to them. They offer their own storage option to their customers. For this, they charge annual scaled fees. These can work out quite costly when compared with the flat fees which are offered by some of their competitors. For detailed information read Gainesville Coins Reviews | Read Customer Service Reviews of www.gainesvillecoins.com.

Gainesville Coins - Products and Services Offered

Gainesville Coins offer a wide variety of gold and silver products to its customers across the country. They include the following: Gold Bullion There are three major types of gold bullion offered by the company. They include Gold bars: The conventional way of buying gold bullion is in the form of coins. Bars cannot be used as legal tender. Their value is determined by their actual gold weight (AGW). It is much easier to buy gold bars online through Gainesville Coins.  Gold coins:  Gold coins are often considered the safest way to buy gold. The coins are fully backed in faith and credit by the government that offered them.  Pre-1933 gold coins: Most gold coins were made by countries around the world before 1933. Private gold was outlawed in the United States in 1933 by President Franklin Roosevelt. Silver Bullion Coins People normally purchase silver rounds for different reasons. You can decide to buy them for artistic purposes or hold them and sell them later at a higher price. The company sales silver bars and silver rounds from trusted brands including the following: - Mercury Dime Design Silver Rounds - Silver Buffalo Rounds - Morgan Dollar Design - Masson Mint Heritage Silver Rounds - Peace Dollar Design Silver Rounds  - Walking Liberty Design Silver Rounds

Gainesville Coins Legit- Storage and Shipping Costs

You will find a lot of dealers advertising free shipping cost offers. But the truth is that most dealers include the so-called free shipping cost into the price of precious metals and premiums. At Gainesville Coins, we give you a simple way of determining how much your shipping fee will be before placing an order. All you need to do is add all the items you would like to purchase to your shopping cart and type your shipping code into the shipping calculator. 

Is Gainesville Coins reputable?

Gainesville Coins, like any other investment company, has advantages and disadvantages. You must weigh the advantages and disadvantages to arrive at a wise option. 

A wide variety of gold, silver, and platinum goods are available from Gainesville Coins. If you are a collector, they make great friends. The company offers a selection of ancient coins for sale.  Gainesville Coins is well known for producing IRA-eligible gold, silver, and platinum coins. However, the company doesn't currently market anything made of palladium. The company routinely marks the majority of the products as "out of stock". Customers occasionally complain about the high commission fees.  Gainesville Coins is a prominent player in the precious metals sector. It has been in business for more than 20 years and has a good reputation. The company has a huge selection that customers can choose from. Gainesville Coins, is a well-known precious metals merchant, with its main headquarters in Lutz, Florida. The company owns a sizable assortment of different gold and silver holdings. Additionally, it claims to offer some of the best prices for its products on the market. They are in charge of this by selling them at wholesale prices and maintaining a sizable inventory. However, several customers claim that the company routinely lists the vast majority of the products as being "out of stock".  Gainesville Coins is a trustworthy company, however, we do not advise doing business with them.  They are not a scam, but they are not the best choice for IRAs or gold investments, unlike other companies we have written about on this website.

Is Gainesville Coins Reputable? - What Do Their Customers Say:

Yelp At the time of our most recent check Gainesville had a 2 out of 5 stars rating on Yelp, based on 22 reviews. These reviews were varied and customer ratings ranged from a minimum of 1 out of 5 to a maximum of 5 out of 5.

BBB Gainesville Coins have been accredited with the BBB since November 2006 and they have been awarded an A+ rating which on a scale ranging from A+ to F is the highest achievable.

At the time of our most recent check, there had been 104 complaints closed with the BBB in the previous 3 years and 87 closed in the previous 12 months. Sitebazaar GainesvilleCoins has a rating of 4 stars from 76 reviews, indicating that most customers are generally satisfied with their purchases. Reviewers satisfied with GainesvilleCoins most frequently mention customer service. GainesvilleCoins ranks 8th among Coins sites. Trustpilot

On Trustpilot, Gainesville Coins have received 2.9 stars out of 5.

Is Gainesville Coins Reputable? : Summary

Gainesville Coins is a reputable company and a prominent player in the precious metals sector. They have a good online store and a wide selection of stock. Gainesville Coins clearly place a priority on providing excellent customer service as well as on keeping its reputation and profile. They are members of our connected to various reputable groups pertaining to precious metals. We would prefer it if they offered flat storage rates rather than scaled storage fees, especially for precious metals IRAs since their theoretically lower prices could be partially offset by their relatively higher storage costs. Opening a precious metals IRA is a major decision. That's why I suggest checking out our top gold IRA providers list. There, you can find the best precious metals dealer in your state and choose accordingly. Also, the list will help you understand what the industry's best has to offer. Also, it helps with what you might miss out on. Find the best Gold IRA company in your state Read the full article

[of-another-broken-heart]

Today has been hard. And a lot.

I took some tylenol last night to help with cramps. It worked so well, I forgot why I’d taken them by the time I was actually trying to get to bed. I couldn’t remember when, exactly, either, so I didn’t risk taking more to safeguard my attempt to sleep.

It took a lot to get to sleep. I had dreams. I was on vacation again (recurring theme) with family (recurring theme) and all the fun/relaxation was offset by people making things dramatic and stressful. I had my car with me. It was not operating reliably (another recurring theme in my dreams). I don’t think I dreamed specifically of Alex. Doesn’t matter too much, since it takes all of 0.02 seconds for me to think of him once I wake up. And I was waking up every 1-2 hours. 

I stayed in bed all the way until I needed to drive sister to work. Not sleeping much. Just... unable to get up. Too tired. Too exhausted. Too sad. Too purposeless. 

I decided to spend some of a gift card I got for xmas. After I dropped sister off, I resolved to buy myself a meal from McDonald’s. I was planning to get a burger that came with lettuce and onion and maybe tomato. I did not end up doing that, though. I saw they had a spicy crispy chicken sandwich meal, and it was only $6. So I did that instead. It was not very crispy. The spice was good. It took me nearly a full half hour to eat. I thought I had a tooth brush in my purse, but I couldn’t find it. I had some emergency travel picks, and I used one of those, but there were still some places in my fucked up teeth that held on to some food bits that I just had to deal with until I got home. 

But I didn’t go straight home. I put in my refill for my levo yesterday, so I figured I’d pick that up. And my gas tank was dipping below the 1/4 mark, so I figured I should put the last of my cash in it. 

The pharmacy was a small little hell. A lady walked in right before me, but didn’t take any undue time or act obnoxious. An older man came in after me - and jumped to the front of the line, because I was following the 6-foot distance guidelines and I guess he was too good to do the same. He flagged down no fewer than 3 of the employees to help him at the same time, asking for prescription refills (that he hadn’t requested in advance), chatting up the actual pharmacist, and then wandering around bragging about buying out certain supplies off the shelves for his/his wife’s diabetes.  While all that was going on, another guy walked in, and stood so close to me that his phone was next to my head when he held it up to look at it. Even in pre-pandemic times, that’s too fucking close. I moved away. He immediately closed the gap. I moved away again, to the counter this time, sputtering out “Six feet, please, sir!” and while he didn’t have anything to say back, he at least stayed put at that point.  The cashier was still half tied up with the demanding diabetes guy, but he asked who was next (it was me, and Mr. No Personal Space indicated as much, too) so I was able to ask for my meds and start getting out coins to pay the dollar it’d cost. I’m almost out of change. I mostly just have pennies left now. Dropped two quarters, four dimes, and ten pennies to cover my expense - set them in separate stacks on the counter to make it easier on the cashier, who verbally thanked me for the consideration before I made my way out of there and to the gas station. 

Gas is $3 per gallon here, now. I did not know that. It was $2.60 last time I bought any - not even 2 months ago. I put the last $20 of cash I had in Jenny. Not even 7 gallons. Getting out of that parking lot was annoying. I waited my turn, I waited... the person who had the right-of-way just didn’t go. Just plain did not go. Sat on their phone blocking me and 1 other person because she was supposed to go, and if either of us went, then she went, it’d be a big problem. Then when she finally moved (after the light had changed and there wasn’t any more room left) I had to go across the street into a different parking lot just to get out of the way of the people in the gas station parking lot, and then turn around, and then there still wasn’t room for me to pull out of the fucking parking lot because a goddamn pick-up truck rolled up while I was turning around, taking the spot in the road that I could have slipped into. But at least no one else came after that, and when the light finally changed again, I just got to cruise out and get back home without any further headaches. 

The whole time in the car, I felt like I was playing Russian roulette with the radio. From eating lunch to pulling back in the drive way after getting gas - will this song reduce me to an inoperable sobbing mess? How about this one? This one??? I have to drive with the radio off most of the time now. Because that’s how fucked up and raw I am now. 

I got home and checked my emails. Birthday is in a few days, and I get more well-wishes and gifts from corporate programming than I do from people I know. I got a message from Torrid. $10 to spend. I didn’t have very high hopes, but I spent a while clicking through the online clearance listings. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few things I did actually like, and could use, and which would (individually) be nearly free with the $10 birthday spending.  The first was a simple sport bra with a strappy back. I like those. They’re practical, and most of the ones I have are old and not fashionable at all. That one was only available in a single small size, though.  Next I found a pair of boots. I already have a pair of boots, but I like boots. And these were marked down to like, $12 and their original price was over $70? Bonkers good deal. And they were wide calf by default, because Torrid, so hell yeah? There was the option for extra wide, but that seemed like they’d be too big on me (given that standard wide calf fit me pretty perfectly with my existing pair of boots). They were in stock in my size, so I put them in the cart.  Then I found another sport bra. Originally $50, down to $11-something. It was only available in a 3... which might be a size too big for me, or it might be perfect. It was a zip-front black bra with little white stars on it. I put it in my cart, too.  I planned to pick one and remove the other. I had a little money in my Paypal to cover the difference, but I can’t spend a lot. But it was a really good deal... two items that originally totaled like $125, subtotaled to less than a fifth of that. And a ten dollar credit to apply on top, so it was only $13 or so that was left to cover?  $13 for a pair of boots and a new sport bra??  It has to get delivered to the store one town over (or it would have cost an extra $6 and taken longer) but I placed the order.  Happy Birthday to me, from Torrid (and the people whose donations I still had some leftover from. 

My teeth are bothering me so much. I want them fixed. I can’t make the calls. 

I need a new doctor, I need to be taken seriously, I need so much help. And I can’t make the calls. 

The precious few people who were slap-shod forming a support net for me, have mostly dispersed. I’m drowning again, and the promised life raft isn’t even coming any more. The boat that was supposed to be a sanctuary has dropped anchor somewhere far away and is not an option, any more. Not really. 

I just want to talk to and be with Alex. And I can’t.  I can’t. It’s one-sided. I’m wrong. It never should have happened, and I’m paying the price. I was never supposed to be happy. It was a fluke. I have to pay for it, now.

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