#buuuuut its on my mind. not for official diagnosis reasons but for self-management reasons. same with the joint issues

[mothmvn]

i dont think i have something as intense as EDS but my joints are definitely uh... loosey goosey. cartilage soft as butter. probably genetic, looking at my 1m90 beanpole cousin and his casual contortionist poses (samesies).

in retrospect it makes sense that i avoided (competitive, structured) physical activity my whole goddamn life: I knew my motions were unstable in a way that took a lot of effort and focus to counteract, which in competitive PE class is commonly known as being bad at sports (because my joints were kinda lowkey floating in their sockets!!)

maybe i would have fared differently if the performance in phys ed classes wasnt competitive. apparently competition is not an issue for a lot of people who enjoy it and find it motivating - can't relate when i was failing through i guess no fault of my own, but in a way that couldn't be disambiguated from failing through not trying (i didnt wanna try because my joints would probs flail and that would look stupid!! i was a little kid!!)

aaaggghhhrhghh maybe if i had been born into the boy gender this would be noticed as "concerning" for a boy to not be physically active and my joint instability woulda gotten addressed before the ripe age of 23. where would i be athletically if that were the case.