#butch feelings

[oldschool-butch]

Got my femme a bottle of Gucci Bloom and she loved it and that makes me happy because I researched this fragrance for 11 months

[sir-quay]

I love to be needed. Desired. Craved. It feeds directly into the side of my brain that knows.. confidently.. that I am the best lay/shag/fuck/boyfriend/girlfriend lover you'll have ever experienced. I know this because I willingly hold over your head our shared memories of the countless orgasms I've been known to give you. These memories always have evidence because I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you crave me?

I have bite marks adorning my collar bones and the crest of my shoulders, and matching scars from your nails trailing down my back. I got those from the hours I spent slowly stroking in and out of your sloppy wet cunt. We had a deal that when you got close, you would ask me nicely to let you cum. Guess I fucked you so stupid you forgot how to speak, and you just never asked. So when i would feel you getting close- I'd pull out. I'd take my peaceful time leaving huge hickies on your sternum and trailing my tongue over your cute little nipples before slipping back inside you and pounding your sweet little pussy. I could feel a wicked smile creeping across my face when your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you became a babbling mess... your moans a delectable harmony to the percussive slapping of my balls against your inner thighs. Finally, you pulled me closer by the nape of my neck until our bodies were flush and begged me to fuck you harder. I nibbled on your ear and whispered what a good fucking toy you'd been for me, praising all of my favorite parts of your body as I fucked you deeper as your nails scraped down my back. When you finally came undone I could feel your entire body trembling at your release, my cock coated in your juices while you tried to catch your breath.

Do you remember now sweetheart?

[geospark]

I don't know If anybody has ever made this phrase. And they probably have but.

My favorite simple way to tell people my gender. Is

Female, NOT feminine.

[lostryu]

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than getting gender affirming clothes for my girls

[scumsleeperagent]

“Nothing happened when I stopped taking hormones. For months I got up every morning and raced to the mirror, breathless with anticipation. Nothing changed. It was sort of anticlimactic. It took many of hours of electrolysis before l began to feel the softness of my cheeks again. One morning I got up and found menstrual blood on my BVD'S, I threw them out rather than risk anyone at the laundry seeing the apparent contradiction. But the real motion was taking place inside of me. I had to be honest with myself, it was as urgent as breathing. When I sat alone and asked what it was I really wanted, the answer was change.

I didn't regret the decision to take hormones. I wouldn't have survived much longer without passing. And the surgery was a gift to myself, a coming home to my body. But I wanted more than to just barely exist, a stranger always trying not to get involved.

I wanted to find out who I was, to define myself. Whoever I was, I wanted to deal with it, I wanted to live it again. I wanted to be able to explain my life, how the world looked from behind my eyes.

Yet I was so afraid to come out and face the world again. I wondered why I had to choose the opening years of the Reagan administration and the rise of the Moral Majority to demand the right to be myself. Would they arm villagers with torches and stakes and stalk me through the countryside? Would I stand alone, handcuffed in a precinct cell, with no one to turn to if I survived the nightmare? But then I acknowledged that no matter who had been in the White House, it had always been hard to be me. Between a rock and a hard place-something told me this lifetime wasn't going to get any easier. I’d already been through a lot though, and it didn't seem to me it could get much worse.

Once again I couldn't see the road ahead. I was still steering my own course through uncharted waters, relying on constellations that were not fixed. I wished there was some one, somewhere I could ask: What should I do? But no such person existed in my world. I was the only expert on living my own life, the only person I could turn to for answers.”

-Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg, p.224

[honeydewwwwy]

I dont think I knew how much I needed the like

“You’re sexy all the time in my eyes” attitude that my femme partners bring to my life

I am used to giving it, but receiving it is still a little new

I showed up to an event my lovely was in wearing my handsewn hat with the Finn ears, an oversized salvaged hoodie, sweats and a ghibli tee. when I came to congratulate them for a good performance, and to have fun at the after party, they whined a little about having to go since I was looking hot

Sometimes I send pictures of my good morning self, still in bed, all tousled and squinty eyed with my worn out sleep shirt falling off my shoulder. I never feel as sexy as I do in those as I do at night, when I’m still freshly steamed from my showers…but my sweethearts always tell me how edible I am, how they wish they were there to slip a hand in my boxers and greet me good morning

I’ll be padding around in The Least well coordinated outfit possible because I was too tired to remember how to wear clothes, and they still want to take them off- not for looking bad, but for who’s underneath

It happens when I expect it sometimes, but also when I’m not *prepared* to be hot

disheveled, sleepy, grouchy, detached from my skin or rattling in it strangely

And it always lifts my spirits like nothing else

Having always lived in a body that is far from “conventionally attractive”… it Hits so spectacularly when my lovers want me every way mMmm

[butchdyke-t]

Finding...

In moments of hesitation wondering if I would ever find happiness, moments of loneliness wishing I could be more and simultaneously less. Yet finding pointlessness in the thought, how bitterly I laugh when my mom tells me that "We love you no matter what". Every I love you feels like a broken promise, I look around suddenly everything makes sense. The bitter feeling to my siblings all sometimes misplaces hatred for them getting a better parent, a mother who actually means the I love you who means the I'm proud of you who follows what you say who cares and supports you, a part of me feels broken, hurt in pain.

Years later I find myself bitterly smiling at them no longer having the energy to help with my head down, the warmth lacking behind my actions bringing shame to me, to my soul, to my being... Bitterly I have them to think for how kind, patient, protective, hard, soft, rough, delicate, and how I hold myself only.

I am a strong butch. I am patient, kind, bitter, cold, warm, uninviting. and somehow all while wounded, scarred, overly warm, overly withdrawn, both not enough and too much, while I'm too grounded and floating without purpose.

I am butch, I am brave, I am strong, I will pull together by the seams and reuse to ask for help until someone pushes me to stop and pulls me apart and tells me to stop, yet I have never found that, until I found her.

finding her was a journey, someone who just understood me and as corny as that sounds yes saw me. Butches and Femmes have a special connection, I would do anything for femmes, they are possibly the only ones who can possibly understand the dyke gender the way butches can. How the way butches subvert Masculinity and Butchness and how Femmes do that with femininity, they divine other half of stone butches. You are not a real butch if you do not appreciate and adore femmes as people who are one and the same as us. Isn't it beautiful to find someone who understands you exactly? Someone who knows what society says about you who understands and protects you in ways only the complimentary opposite of you would be able to understand. Finding her was worth every moment of hesitation, self sacrificing and growth I had to do, for her its an indescribable feeling that I get when I face her, the way I find myself melting when she calls me her "Beloved" or "Bear" or hers, the way my heart exploded with happiness when she called me baby boy, or handsome boy or her boy, her wife, her husband, her love, something so warm about being hers. No one else's actually and for the first time being mono with someone feels right, as if I was molded for her and that has been a feeling I have chased, its been nine months of dating 10 of knowing each other and the feeling she has given me, these new found feelings have only gotten stronger, like me, building a secure foundation. Which she doesn't even realize how inanely impressive that is to me. The way she just loves. I dare say nothing compares to the love a femme can give, their sincere nature, how even if the wold labels her as mean or scary or stoic or scary, I laugh because nothing is as strong and soft and kind and welcoming as her, nothing, not even a strong warm coffee engulfing you on a winter's day with nothing but cold and shadows. Not even then would that be able to encapsulate what she does for me and to me. She peels the layers off of me as if she had been made to do it and somehow I believe I would be able to be loved and now she is doing just that loving me entirely without any hesitation, she loves me when I cry and when I don't she loves me when I feel sad and angry and all the things I hadn't felt before, she found me and I found her and she just gets me so much and fuck I've never been this in love with someone or to the degree so smoothly. I believe that she's the one for me, I used to think how silly it was to think what the greeks though that we were once two parts of one and they feared us because we were whole in a way that they could never be and that is s o poetic because as a butchfemme couple are often so feared and misunderstood in a world led by men who don't like seeing they can't control us. I just adore her and loving her feels like a privilege to be able to have her in my life.

Finding her means the world and healed me

So a huge thank you to @goth-femme for loving me and inspiring me to be the best butch I can be for me, for her, for us<3

[rittzart]

a fat fluffy femme and her scrawny little butch <3

[spitblaze]

I don't see people gas up gnc and butch transfems nearly enough, can we get a fuckin round of applause for gnc and butch transfems

[stemmmm]

more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great

[urmumhaha]

I wish butch n femme balls existed. Not to b a fucking sap n a massive dyke but wow. Ugh even. Just wanna wear a gown n stilettos n have my honey greet me w a bouquet before we leave n we wear matching or complimentary jewelry n spend hours on my hair and makeup to impress. N then when we get there my honey will spin me around the room for a brief dance before grabbing something to drink, wine for me n whiskey for her, as we chat w other dykes n celebrate butchfemmeness. Or whatever

[im-yotsu]

The guy of all time (feat genderbent Nightcrawler)

[sir-quay]

I crave the softness of your bare skin like I crave sunshine. It's no longer simply a desire, but a necessity. It's your gaze...some kind of electricity in the air that reminds me how addictive you are. I crave the way you taste..the way you melt into every touch, every kiss, every scratch. Your body belongs to me, and every time we fuck- you remind me nobody else makes you feel so good.. so needed. Maybe it makes you crave me.

[geospark]

I GOT MORE EYELINER LETS GO

THIS PUNK IS BACK....

and shitting his loins out.... because she had cheese the other day. And the other day.

[sixofclovers]

tecna this one goes out to you specifically

[scumsleeperagent]

feeling "ugly" as a detrans butch (personal)

as I come back to my accepting my femaleness, one of the hardest things for me has been accepting that I'm not conventionally attractive and I'm not most women's type, and there's nothing I can do to fix or change this. (i.e. het women aren't an option, some SSA women explicitly prefer feminine women, I don't have breasts, etc.) in "detransition" it's hard remembering that even though I do feel most comfortable in a butch/masc presentation, part of why I adopted it in the first place (or at least the volantary aspects of it) was because of feminist values. To be more specific: valuing function and comfort over conforming to feminine aesthetics and being "beautiful". I know that to many I'm not beautiful/handsome/attractive, and that's really really okay. I'm not an object to be marketed, I'm a full human being. I want to run and jump and be strong and lift heavy things and be able to defend myself. There's nothing to be gained from being ashamed of my appearance.

I think confidence is a huge part of charisma (and also sex appeal) that I'm missing a lot of the time, and I think that's much more of a waste but it's because I often don't feel like I'm enough for my environment. i.e. I don't feel skilled enough, or I feel ashamed of my identity or beliefs. But it's getting better over time. I still feel like I'm interacting with the world through a screen door or a fog sometimes. Like I can't do what I want to do, or I don't know what to do or how to act or how to feel. It feels weak and small and unconfident. I'm not sure if changing my context, or changing my approach is better. But I think just aging and keeping living will do a lot