#but.... rly.... i have no idea how to end this sentence and its haunting me

[6-v-6]

sataeminism replied to your post: SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS SENTENCE………….

write it in the most pretentious way you can think of then go back to read it again and shame yourself into putting him in simpler terms

it’s partly a joke bc it works for me but can we know what sentence is it??

Okay but that’s actually my issue because I don’t know if I want to be too writerly with it?? Or put it in simpler terms and that’s why I keep writing like 50 different versions of the sentence and im going to lose my mind its been HOURS........

I’m putting this under a read more bcuz I could Honestly use help. 

so the sentence in question is this one:

It’s a favorite of hers—was, past tense now, only loved until there’s no vacancy left in the heart to house (those who try to make it a home) vagrant

I put the more writerly option in parenthesis because I don’t know if I want to go with that or with something more simplistic i.e. vagrant etc. Here’s the entire thing so far actually since it isn’t long at all.............. 

When he wakes he’s alone. It’s not surprising; runaways don’t tend to stick together. Trust comes too slow to foster friendship when you’re always on the move. Maybe that’s why he was curious about the boy with a voice like cobwebs and the girl with skin of ice; curious about the way they came into his life as one, so tightly sewn together they seemed to redefine the boundaries of solidarity.

His footsteps echo in the room, loud now in the absence of company. It doesn’t hurt, being left behind, but the chill of concrete against his bare feet bites to the bone.

A flash of red in the corner of his eye makes him pause, but when he turns—something like hope on his face—all he sees is her shirt, crumpled in the corner. Just dirty laundry. It’s a favorite of hers—was, past tense now, only loved until there’s no vacancy left in the heart to house (those who try to make it a home) vagrant

but like goddamn I can’t decide which route to go? Because on one hand I don’t want to get too flowery with my writing but on the other hand I want to inhabit the mind of my character accurately (who has an issue w/ abandonment) so the question is if it makes sense for him to think in a more flowery/writerly way or not.... I’m not expecting Stunning advice but any input at all will help me get over this damn sentence

[rontra]

Do all of those ask meme questions!!!! 8 )

oops sorry guys khayr is out to snipe ALL OF YOU im laughging khayr pls,,,,,

cut for length lets do 20questions

1.Describe yourself how you would describe a character you’re introducing

new dissociation who dis

2.Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?

UP IN BED CANT SLEEP: WRITE 3000WORDS: PASS OUT: AWAKE TO FIND WRITING I HAVE 0 RECOLLECTION OF DOING, LIKE APRESENT FROM A BENEVOLENT STRANGER

3.What is your absolute favorite kind of fic to write?

Storieswhere everything ever goes wrong and everyone comes out the other end superdamaged but theyre pullin their lives back together from the rubble are A+i like a mix of hopeful and despairing so i also chuck in some lightheartedstuff to keep u from getting boredand then the ending is bittersweet at most bc i’m bad at happy endings& all the women are Messy

4.Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why?

Mypals @lionsenpai and @khayr r good eggs & write my faves So Right and im inlove w these idiotsAlso @romanimp and @theivorytowercrumbles can crush my fragile body under theirheels any day of the week

5.How many words can you write if you sit down and concentrate intensely for anhour?

Ihave no idea about “an hour” bc ive never in my life looked at the FUCkin timewhen I’m writing and calculate everything in vague “sittings” but I have been knownto average 1000-4000 a sitting depending on what I’m writing

6.First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)

Myfirst shit was all original but for fic I’m pretty sure it was some Naruto stuffw neji/tenten bc u KNOW I was all about that shit back in the day

7.Inspiration, time, or motivation. Choose two.

Inspirationand motivation

8.Why do you choose to write?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9.Do you ever have plans to write anything other than fic?

Istarted with original and am alwaysdoing original at the same time as fic. I’m assuming this question is seekingan elaboration too HAH okay so notable codenamed excursions include:

“FM”(220 pages in private print edition), its sequel “BB” (281 pages privateprint); their reboot “SM” (122k words, not printed) – these 3 had way morepotential than what I was able to bring out of them, so I’d like to reboot itagain someday when I get over how bad these iterations are“D8” (First draft of Brill; 750 pages in private print)

ofcthen there’s also the mentioned Brilliancy which is currently in progress andteetering on the edge of being scrapped and started anew yet again (I willnever be satisfied :P)There’s also a million smaller ideas (ex. Shorts, Deadgame, etc) that aren’tbig enough to have…anything interesting to say YETAdditionally, I have Withering Sky in collaboration with @lionsenpai and im rlystoked about bc everything about it is SO AESTHETIC

10.What inspires you the most?

Spiteand disappointment

11.Weirdest thing you’ve ever written/thought about writing/etc.?

Higu/umicrossover au where kyrie and takano are rival murderers and kill people WAIT A MINUTE(most of my weird ideas are delegated to the art department tbh)

12.A fic you wish you had written better, and why?

I’mnot naming names but there’s some old buied fics in some old accounts that could’vebeen so intense and sexy but are not and im not going back for them but I wishthey had been as cool as I imagined before I totally lost my Fuckin mind andwandered off the path. sorry i cant link or ill die

13.Favorite fic from another author?

They’regonna get really tired of me saying this but im STILL not over @theivorytowercrumbles’ Canis,Thy Motherthis fic from FUCKing 2015 haunts me every day of my life

also their and @romanimp’s Akrasiawas [kisses fingers like a chef] do i even need 2 say it

14.Your favorite side pairings to put in?

Glynda/Lisa,Cinder/Winter, Beatrice/Happiness

15. Your guilty writing pleasure?

Ido a lot of rly long scenes of introspection where nothing actually happens butI’m just kind of taking a joyful romp through the mental state and opinions ofwhatever messy female character is narrating at the time. Also, rly edgy narrationmetaphors that aren’t really adding anything but sound cool

16.Do you have structured ideas of how your story is supposed to go, or make it upas you write?

Im80% by the seat of my pants and 20% vague ideas for things that should probablyhappen at some pointthe backstory/setting lore is usually fuckin hard set in elaborate stone tomesthough I plan that shit rly thoroughly (exception to the rule: offal hunt was planned pppprretty well probably thanksto being a collab so I couldn’t just keep it all nebulously floating in myhead)

17.Would you describe yourself as a fast writer?

OnceI get going: h*ck yes

18.How old were you when you started writing?

9-10

19.Why did you start writing?

Akid’s gotta get their edgy OCs down on paper somehow

20.4 sentences randomly sized chunks from your work that you’re proud of

It was September now, and a chill clutched the air in Kumasawa Chiyo’s lungs, squeezing all warmth from her body. Ms. Hachijo had deigned to accompany her, and looked entirely unfazed by it all in her long winter coat. She emerged from the car like a long-dormant spirit, shaking the tethers of Hell from her shoulders, sleek and elegant and deadly. She looked at her wristwatch and clicked her tongue. “We’re early,” she said. (Skin Game)

“We’renot leaving you behind!”Winterflinched as if she had been struck.“Don’t,” she whispered, andthe commanding tone had been replaced with soft pleading. (Offal Hunt)

She wasfabricating it. She was hallucinating. She knew that.

Itdidn’t go away. Textbook knowledge hadn’t dispelled it. She was glad. Her poor,dying brain could at least feel less alone, even if it was an illusion. Thepresence comforted her. Its guiding light felt familiar—a projection of her ownmind—like a reflection in an unsettled pond, similar but distorted inunpredictable ways. Like an ancient echo tying species to their ancestors, shefelt pieces of herself and those she loved in it. (Offal Hunt)

Takano Miyo was fifteen. She had fallen out of the world of humans—no, it was more apt to say she had been taken from it. And the devil Ikuko had seen mercy, pulling her from the cold jaws of God’s dog-eat-dog rule, and given her something invaluable—strength. Perhaps she had exchanged her soul for it, traded over Ikuko’s table in bits and pieces each time they met. A devil had many uses for a soul like Takano’s. (Skin Game)