#but??? idk I’m just so excited??? I think these books could be a big deal

[theemporium]

Yay for the 10k! Congrats love! a 💛 “30. grabbing onto their arm” with Nico Hischier!! Idk if I can request this as well but maybe in a haunted house setting too, if possible? 🫣

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

30. grabbing onto their arm

.

It had been Timo’s idea to go to the carnival.

There were a few days between games that the boys had free with the exception of a few practices and training sessions. And with Halloween coming up, Timo deemed it necessary that they all do something to celebrate since the actual holiday would be spent travelling to another state for a roadie. 

Hence, the boy managed to hunt down and find some carnival set up an hour or so out of the main city. 

Much to everyone’s surprise—and mostly your own—your brother had managed to plan the day out completely. He had rides and games he wanted to play. He had tournaments set up amongst you all. He had everything planned out—especially the tickets he booked in advance for the haunted house on site. 

You didn’t think anything of it at first. After all, you knew your brother well enough to know that he got excited about holidays, and Halloween was just another thing he liked to throw his everything into. 

You only started getting suspicious when he became very insistent on the way everyone stood in the line. 

“It’s just a line, we’re all getting in anyways,” you said to him, perplexed by the way he insisted on you taking a certain ticket. “What’s the big deal?”

Timo just flashed you a knowing smile. “No reason.” 

As it would turn out, there was a reason. A big reason. A reason that left you to believe that your brother thought he was some mastermind who had done the impossible because, as it would turn out, you could only go into the haunted house in pairs. 

And you were paired with Nico Hischier—the captain of the Devils and the very same person you had been embarrassingly crushing over for the last year, which Timo knew very well.

“I’m sure it won’t be that scary,” Nico assured you, seeming to confuse your nerves for fear as the two of you approached the entrance. “It’s probably only scary for kids and Jack.” 

You snorted despite yourself. “Don’t get too confident, Cap, you might be jinxing yourself.” 

He just flashed you a smile. “How bad can a carnival haunted house really be?” 

The answer is fucking teriffying. 

You didn’t know what budget this haunted house had or who had planned it, but it wasn’t the fun, kiddy haunted house you were expecting. It was creepy and freaky and you could hear the blood roaring in your ears in anticipation as you rounded each corner. 

Your final straw was when one of the actors dressed in a killer clown costume jumped out from a seemingly normal cupboard, catching you off-guard and making you grab the closest thing to you for some comfort.

Nico didn’t even blink twice at you grabbing his arm, his body almost moving on instinct as he pulled you closer towards him and further away from the ‘threat’. You hadn’t even realised until the two of you scurried to the next section of the haunted house and you realised your face was practically squished against his bicep with his hand on the back of your head.

“Fuck,” you murmured, your heart racing in your chest. “I am going to kill Timo.”

Nico laughed, his hand dropping to gently cover one of your own. “He’s probably screaming himself.” 

“No wonder,” you grumbled. “This place is freaky.”

“I’ll protect you,” Nico murmured, his voice oddly sincere for a haunted house. 

But you could only smile in response. 

And you would never admit it to Timo because he would be far too smug but the haunted house was a pivotal moment in your relationship with the Devils captain, especially when you two walked out with you still wrapped around his arm and Nico showing no signs of wanting to let you go for the rest of the night.

.

[anxhelstudies]

110924

it’s been a while but i went in albania for 2,5 weeks, went to 2 weddings, go out with my friends since one of them was going back to ireland and i am going to london in 2 days.

so the rankings for the uni i applied got released (idk if it’s the correct therm for this but idc) and surprise!! i didn’t get in… so anyway i’m going to london as a consolation prize! i’m really excited and grateful for this opportunity because it’s all thanks to my aunt who invited me (and my mother who is supporting me since she doesn’t want me to give her back the money she gave me in advance for milan). i hope i will take the most from this opportunity, i’m going to the london design festival and have some days to visit the tourist spots while sending cv and portfolio hoping to do some networking and have some job interview (crossing my fingers). all of this because i applied for the passport in time!! and it’s my first time having a strong passport, i could go to a lot of countries and not worrying for a visa meanwhile in high school i was known in my class and an other class to be the girl who always has problems in international school trips because of my nationality.

anyway i decided to do the #100daysofproductivity challenge starting today, hoping i can finish it. so today i did some laundry and took my first chinese lesson with a tutor! i was a little anxious since i always studied alone but i went well. the teacher is very nice and i really liked her and the price per hour is good so i think i will be able to have 1h lesson a week. since i told her i already self studied something this first lesson was more of a recap this way she could understand my level and adjust the next lessons accordingly. we decided together the book that we were going to use and after that we started with reading pinying, i was really nervous because i never read in in chinese with someone listening but in the end my reading/pronunciation skills were actually good for someone who self studied and i didn’t make the errors some of her students at hsk4 level makes so she was happy and told me to practice more the fourth tone and the pronunciation of p and b because i make some mistakes there but it’s not a big deal since this are the same problem for italian so i just have to practice more. other than that she made me read some words and ask some question about words and radicals to see my situation. At the end she asked me to take a look at the textbook see what i know and don’t know and the text her to let her know what i wanted for next lesson: continue with the review or start something new. Next lesson will probably be a review for the things that i had difficulties studying alone and the few things in the firsts chapters i didn’t do. overall i really liked studying with a tutor, since it’s one on one the focus is all on me and it’s really good to have someone to tell u what u need to practice more. i can totally see the benefits of this and for me its money spent wisely and will be a really good investment for my future.

anyway if u have some good spot to visit or try in london leave it in the comments (especially for asian skincare and makeup and stationary!)

[ennard-is-near]

As promised, my thoughts on The Week Before!

(Spoiler free first, spoilers under the cut. Also long post warning)

It was objectively not a good book. Most fun I’ve ever had reading anything, though.

I’m going to start calling him “Ralph Scott” as his full name. At first I hated the name Ralph but it actually grew on me over time. I think Scott is a valid last name and he doesn’t have one in canon so it’s Scott now. I might just call him Phone Guy sometimes though.

If I had to pick one FNaF song to represent this book it would be Stay Calm, absolutely no question. Do with this what you will.

I really enjoy his relationship with the restaurant and animatronics. It’s pretty realistic imo, he always seemed like he was pretty fond of the brand and had loved it and worked there for a long time.

Coppelia is so y/n coded I don’t know how else to explain this. She feels like a self-insert or fan child. Like the way they describe her outfit reminded me of good ol’ Wattpad fic. This is not good or bad, simply a statement. I actually liked her.

Game continuity stuff:

At first it sort of struck me as odd that Ralph says this is his “first week on the night shift” because in FNaF 2 he mentions that he is going to take the shift after Jeremy. But then he mentions that the restaurant closed down after the Bite of ‘87 so it actually sort of makes sense. It took me a minute to figure that out, though.

As I mentioned before, they are mean to Jeremy? This is genuinely hilarious to me. Like at one point Phone Guy mentioned that staff kept saying “You can’t spell team without meat” right after the Bite and his takeaway is just “that’s not very nice but at least they paid attention at orientation.” The first time he brings it up he asks what Jeremy did to provoke the animatronic (my friend said “what was he wearing?” And I think that’s hilarious). He says that the press blew the whole thing way out of proportion but he says that following “he doesn’t talk anymore. Or do much else” so idk man. Ralph just seems more annoyed than anything, like he’s mad it got the restaurant closed down. He does sort of care a little bit, I guess. It depends on what sentence you’re reading.

(My friend also said that it’s sort of the thing you have to joke about, like if that happened at your work you’d have to be an idiot about it [especially bc it was probably over 5 years ago] and while I completely agree, I feel like he’s mean to Jeremy personally a couple times and that’s not very nice. He was just doing his job, man. This is so funny to me genuinely. I will never stop thinking about it)

There were a couple Bite of ‘83 mentions, which I was not expecting, but was very exciting to me. Ralph going up on stage and thinking about why people aren’t allowed up there…he called 1983 on the phone and it was just screaming and Bite of ‘83 audio (and it was different from the games?) which was wild.

I loved that he said they used to call the Bite of ‘83 “The Big Bite” until ‘87 happened. And he likens it to how they used to call WW1 “The Great War” until WW2. Incredible comparison.

Something that I don’t remember Ralph bringing up directly is the MCI. There’s obviously references to it, but I don’t recall him ever going “wow remember when those kids went missing?” Like he does with The Bites. Not a huge deal but definitely a small thing I noticed.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. The way they wrote the it’s me thing actually sent me to hell and back. Some interesting implications as to what that could mean if it’s happening to Ralph too. I think the way it was described the “it’s me” echo like, taking up his whole mind and actually hurting is so fascinating to me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

He refers to himself as “Phone Guy” at one point, or at least says that that’s what other employees call him because he records the training tapes and welcome messages. I actually liked that, it was late at night when I read it but my sleep deprived brain thought it was a cool nod to the fandom.

He also records the messages for Michael (/the next employee) in the books, which is so fun. They used the word-for-word transcript from the games which I also thought was really cool. I’ve always been a fan of those opening phone calls, his FNaF 1 stuff makes you really get attached to the guy and then he fucking dies which is always deviating. Putting them in exactly like the games was a good call.

Also also his night four message recording was really well written actually. It might have been my favorite part of the whole book. Him talking to Coppelia in a non-canon death was really sweet too

They mentioned Susie being Chica and Jeremy being Bonnie by name. I like this. Ralph saying Susie just by vibes was fine, but I kinda want to know how Bronwen knew that Jeremy is Bonnie? Like I know she’s done a lot of research but how does she know which specific kid is which specific animatronic? That seems like a hard thing to figure out, even if you know everything about the case. Eh, whatever.

They kept just… listing the animatronics? Like the book will go “Look out for Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy.” Over and over again. Like yeah, I got it.

Phone Guy

They made him a boy failure. And a lame dad. Absolutely perfect. He says the same stupid fucking joke every time even though nobody’s around. He practices making stupid jokes and puns so he can tell them to his daughter later.

He loves his daughter so much, also. Like all he thinks about her all the time and he checks on her immediately when he gets home. He wants work at her school? He keeps telling her never ever to go to Freddy’s. In the non-canon death where he calls her and he says, “I love you. Don’t come looking for me.” Aughhggg.

A couple of his deaths were genuinely so funny. The one where he’s just mixing shit in the closet and the door gets jammed? That wasn’t even an animatronic that’s just basic workplace safety. The one where he’s being killed (by Chica I think?) and his blood is going all over the floor and he goes “I just cleaned that!” Hey man, there are more important things happening. The one where he puts the cupcake up to his face and it like…eats him? Why did he do that?

There are also a couple non-death endings that are great. The one where he just accidentally gets locked in a room is pretty good. He can get sued by Fazbear which is really funny. Coppelia can get eaten by The Cupcake which is iconic.

Foxy is his favorite. We find this out when he’s being killed by Foxy and he goes “But you were my favorite!” Foxy is also Michael’s favorite. Also nobody asked but he would have been mine if I was a kid at Freddy’s.

I like when he walks in to a room covered in blood and goes “It must have been an animal!” You and I both know it wasn’t, why did he say that? Also he throws about the blood.

Other characters

Coppelia is so good. She’s so middle-schooler and I mean that in a good way. She’s well written in a “that’s what twelve-year-olds are like” way. During the ending where he calls her and says he loves her and she goes “I know, Dad” like she’s rolling her eyes. Okay go off Coppelia. But also she clearly loves her dad she’s just a preteen. I don’t like that Phone Guy calls her Pel, though. That’s stupid.

I don’t like Bronwen. She’s underdeveloped and as she stands in the book just completely unnecessary. She’s a cool character in theory, a reporter who’s obsessed with the mystery at Freddy’s, but she probably couldn’t work in a book like this. I feel like her only purpose was to give Ralph a quest, phone and dead body to find. He probably could have gotten those things on his own, and it actually would have been better for his character I think. She feels like a self-insert character from someone who won a “get your own character featured in a book” contest. She’s not hugely important or prevalent in the plot, to the point where she could be cut and it would probably make the story better. But as her own character, in a book where she was a main or very prominent side character, she could be very interesting. She’s just not here.

WILLIAM AFTON?? Okay, well, maybe. Probably. He’s only in there a couple times, as “Dave” the maintenance guy who knows everything about the animatronics and is annoyed that you called him at 4am. Definitely William Afton, which is very cool and interesting that he’s still around and slaying at the time of FNaF 1. Idk if I’m going to include that in my personal brain timeline but whatever, still good info to have.

Williams presence does raise a question that has always bugged me, how do people not recognize him? Like I get that maybe it’s like Clark Kent where you’re not looking for William Afton so you won’t recognize him, but I feel like this is a little different. Because Dave Miller isn’t some unassuming maintenance worker while William Afton is some huge famous, supervillain or something. Dave Miller is a guy who knows everything about the animatronics and William Afton is the guy who made the animatronics. And they look the same? He’s not even bothering with glasses or anything. And Phone Guy has to have seen William a few times because he’s implied to be higher up (at least a manager or something) at the company in 1987 so he has to have seen William a few times. And Ralph’s gone bowling with “Dave” before, so why was he never like “Huh I wonder if this is William Afton considering they look the same and have the same job and nobody has seen Afton in a long time.” He’s so Sweeney Todd core.

There’s a brief mention of a character named Mrs. Anderson who has a dead daughter, and to me that daughter is Susie. (Not Cassidy bc I have a different family for Cassidy that I can’t get into rn but trust me.) But that’s so sad actually, that she is basically Coppelia’s babysitter bc she misses her own daughter. I feel like something that FNaF could benefit from is more little character insights like this. Just getting a brief “Mrs. Anderson” and seeing how she’s handling her kid dying. This could not be Susie’s mom, and I’m just seeing connections where there aren’t any, but I think she probably is meant to be.

Okay I’m done

I really liked this book guys. It was worth sneaking a copy of into my house. I had so much fun with it, even if I just read it back-to-front like a normal book instead of “playing” it. (Idk why they kept pretending it was a video game, it’s clearly a book, but whatever.) there were a few very fun details that I really loved and it was a good addition to the canon of the series. I won’t incorporate everything into the lore I made up in my head, but I will definitely take some of it. I really enjoyed it, I really did.

[magicratfingers]

hey! when you say you're doing konmari, what specifically *are* you doing? is it one of her books or a course or smth?? a lot of the struggles you've talked about working through with all of this are similar to ones I struggle with so I'm interested in giving something like that a shot!!

Hiiiii!!!! I’m followin her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. The whole deal! I started it with just whatever info was free on the internet but actually bought the book a bit into the process. The daily posts were to be silly but it became pretty nice to look back & stay with it. So I admit maybe I didn’t really do the first step “envision the life you want” part very deeply actually what even are the rules

Ok

Rule 1 yeah ok I was pretty excited to start I had always wanted to try it I once met a woman at a party who said everything she owned could fit in one box and I thought that sounded so cool and I just really wanted to do something kinda “big” I was feelin pretty stuck pretty overwhelmed and also Marie calls it a “Tidying Festival” which is so goofy and sweet

Rule 2 ok I kinda didn’t do much work here it was more like “idk man who even am I let’s find out” I had done something similar for a “nutritional therapist” (kinda bullshit but I don’t regret it) once and found it difficult so I really just have uh a brain feeling of ease and playfulness I’m thinking of as a lazy Sunday energy

Rule 3 I do get a bit stuck here in that I don’t always know where I want to put my stuff so I find myself doing some surprise deep cleaning. But! This means I’ve cleaned a ton of areas without wanting to cry or barf and it feels weird to admit as a grown ass gender but it’s probably the first time I’ve felt actual pride

Rule 4 - this and 3 are probably the secret sauce for me. It’s a nice structure and it keeps the steps simple enough to not freak out but just challenging enough to wanna do it.

Rule 5 the order did sound a bit random (clothes, books, paper, Komono, sentimental items) but it rips. Clothes are so unavoidably functional and emotional that it really is the easiest. Books are surprisingly aspirational?? Very “I want to be the kind of person that wants to read this” and I had to figure out how to divorce potential from actual appreciation. I did books three times. Like. I can just go to a library such low stakes with discarding books. Paper I wanted to die but what a gift

Rule 6 being the thing that everyone knows. I really have been making myself TOUCH THE ITEM and genuinely thank it. It’s also the part people don’t do?? Which is wild!? It’s so helpful??? Thanking things dissolved all the anxiety and loss aversion or guilt. It was also really fun to pick up something that gives you the giddy and imagine what it could be like to feel that for everything in the house. I mean why not it’s achievable. Oh also people think it’s about minimalism (it’s not) and getting rid of stuff you need (no) or replacing everything with a fancier thing (definitely not)

Oh wow I wrote a lot hahaaa

[luminouslywriting]

Hi. Really enjoying your writings so far. I’m looking forward to reading more of your Mastermind fic.

I see that you’ve got your requests open. So can I request some domestic headcanons for John Brady please.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Not gonna lie, as a fellow Lady Who Brady's....I was twirling my hair, giggling, and immediately running to tell @lambcow about this one since I love him so much! So buckle up, this one is LONG and I could talk about him for DAYS!!!

-This man?

-This precious angel is the best husband and you cannot convince me otherwise, okay??

-Like he's just the sweetest! I don't think he's necessarily over the top in his words or his deeds, but he's devoted and that's the important thing here

-Marriage is sacred to him and you're his entire world. He absolutely makes sure to treat you like that and makes sure that you know how he feels about you.

-He's a man of WORDS. He absolutely considers it a God-given gift that he gets to tell you he loves you every day before work, always thanks you for whatever time or effort you've put into things, and always kisses you goodnight and murmurs sweet nothings into your ears.

-John Brady also really loves to treat you on special occasions. Some of the gifts include a pearl necklace, pretty bows for your hair, new gloves, a nice pair of heels, he loves to see how excited you get at his little gifts

-Anniversaries are a big deal to him and he makes a big deal of birthdays and celebrating holidays

-He prefers intimate gatherings to large affairs and this is reflective in the way that he's not very big on PDA

-But if you're out in public and he feels so inclined, he might like to rest his hand on your waist or the small of your back

-Loves holding hands while cuddling, especially at nighttime

-I can't explain it, but he's very refined when it comes to literature and books and so you two definitely read together at nighttime—especially poetry or particularly beautiful literature.

-Would, in fact, write you small poems to let you know how much he loves you

-If you're musically inclined, IT'S LITERALLY the best thing ever for this man

-Playing the piano together always turns into tickling or giggling fits after a while of actually attempting to play the music

-Really wants to teach all of your future children music too

-If you're not musically inclined, that's fine, he's still going to try and teach you haha

-He loves to serenade you and don't tell anyone, but if you're ever having a hard time falling asleep, he does sing to you to get you to get sleepy and it works every single damn time

-Because he's really big on words and conversation and communication, he's always really patient with you if you're frustrated or upset about things

-He's the type of husband who could listen to someone talk for hours and hours

-But also sit in comfortable silence because you two are just at ease with one another

-Doesn’t really sleep in but he loves waking up before you to watch you sleep….its something that really calms him and reassures him

-Loves to go dancing and is really really good at it. He has a ton of fun doing all of the spins and fancy moves bc you know he can.

-Will help you detangle your hair. I can't explain it, but I just know that he could braid hair. I have no context for given thing, but I just know it

-Likes to help you get your shoes on

-Is very touchy and sweet when it's just the two of you

-Is a decent cook? Like it's definitely edible but idk if the flavor is gonna be very good haha

-Very traditional in the sense of what he feels like he should be doing for you and around the house

-Loves sitting with his arm around you in church and is ever-slightly pleased when everyone looks at you like you're the most stunning thing ever because OBVIOUSLY they're seeing what he's seeing

-Always knows exactly what to say to make you feel better if you’re having a hard day

-Lingering kisses, kisses that are softly feathered down necks, massages when you're stressed—HIS HANDS PLS I CAN'T

-Literally just wants to be a dad, give the man several babies please

Spicy thoughts below:

-He strikes me as the type of man to like baths and loves sharing baths with you. It doesn't even have to be a sexual thing, it's the intimacy of it all that really has him hooked.

-Going back to the hands thing....listen, we all know Brady is skilled with his hands *coughs at Marina and Bee* but he adores making you come apart with his hands

-Hates to argue but LOVES makeup sex and it's always really hot. He definitely doms in that situation and enjoys being possessive and making you lose control.

-Is really good at hiding when he's turned on but there's a certain look that he gives you and you just know things are about to take a turn

-Doesn't get jealous easily, which is great—but also really loves to show you that he's all yours

-Just as skilled with his mouth as he is with his hands and don't you ever forget it

-Doesn't enjoy quickies but quickies in the sense of sexual acts? He's all for it if it means giving you pleasure

-Loves it when you make sounds in the bedroom and is pretty vocal himself

-Big on praise kink for both you and him (he def calls you “pretty girl and baby in the bedroom)

-also a breeding kink heheh…..why else would there be seven children in the future haha?

-swimming pool sex

-car sex

-Just really good sex in general haha

[witchlingcirce]

Sizzys BiB story lives in my mind RENT FREE!!! So I am going give some of my predictions what the story could be about!!!

—> Simon & Izzy going to comic con together

NERD LOVE!! As Magnus would put it. I think the potential of them going to comic together would absolutely BE SO CUTEEEE!!!!!! I also think it would be so fitting. Now obviously this is a mundane event but I think it could be cool if maybe they have to go to the con on some undercover mission!! Also on that note: what do we think they could dress up as?? Seeing how much they love Star Wars I’m thinking Padme/Anakin or Leia/Han <3

—> Moving in together

I can’t remember what book it’s in (I’m a fraud IK) BUT I do remember them saying they where looking for a place to move in together and I think a short story about there first time owning a house and finally having privacy and living together would be beyond sweet. Like idk, imagine them putting all the furniture together… talking about there engagement… AHHHHH

—> wedding planning / actual wedding !!

Tbh, them having there wedding in a little short story is very much giving Wessa !!! As long as there wedding ISNT combined with Clace I will literally be happy with anything at all. I think them getting married is just saurrr cute and it’s literally such a big step for there characters. Like Izzy with her brothers??? Clary and Simon ????!?!? This is the biggest deal to me. Do I think this is plausible?! Maybe, however me and Cassandra have beef after a CERTAIN short story.

—> then going on a mission abroad together

They deserve a break!! Even though they where severely neglected in QOOAD for some reason (Cassie hates them) (joke) them going abroad for some time alone together and being able to experience the wonders of the world together sounds exactly like Izzy’s perfect date!! I could imagine them maybe going to New Zealand so that Simon can experience the set of the hobbit <3

GUYS IM SOOO EXCITED FOR BIB I NEED IT NEOW!!!!!

[kafus]

okayyy so as for actual episode thoughts

grrr biting thrashing gnawing the bars so much is being set up and i really feel like this arc is going to get exciting. briar and sazare (perrin) both introduced in the same episode with clear and established roles in the plot… though i wonder what the hell carmine is going to be doing still?? her intro episode didn’t even seem to imply what on earth she’ll be doing but she has a whole sequence in the op so definitely… something…

i’ve seen some people take briar seeing a terapagos before and writing a book on it as proof that horizons is happening directly after the plot of the main games but i don’t personally agree, not that it isn’t possible but i just don’t think that’s enough proof. as far as i’m aware the anime has always loosely ripped on game plot threads without actually being in the game timeline and i don’t know why that would change now.

that being said knowing that there is, or at least was, another minimum of at least one other terapagos recently enough for briar to have personally seen one is a pretty big deal! terapagos’ whole thing in the games is that there is just one of them left, the one you catch is based pretty explicitly on Lonesome George (the last remaining member of the pinta island tortoise who went extinct in 2012) so like. cool to hear there’s at least a couple out there. could have lore implications

btw i try not to involve the games too much in my discussion of horizons in general just because i treat them as separate things more than other people i think, but it is worth acknowledging that the milotic that attacks you in SV is programmed to be tera ghost but never actually terastilizes, this was only found out through datamining... it makes sense with the whole Dead People thing but it's really odd that it never terastilizes. so i think it's interesting that it does in the anime and pretty much immediately too. idk how to elaborate on this i just thought that was Interesting. they referenced something from the games that doesn't even... happen lol

i thought for sure we were going to see the woman in the trailer for this arc/in the op at the shining pond this episode so i was surprised it didn’t happen. also, if they do end up only seeing her and not lucius, does that imply that lucius is somehow alive? or is it just coincidence? many questions of which i do not have the answers to… i'm so curious UGH and also the existence of hisui pokemon... dot acknowledges they SHOULD be impossible, so i'm really curious where they came from or how they survived... MAN

really loved dot in this episode, it’s fun to see her going out on her own and then interacting on her own, as per usual i feel like cheering seeing her do anything independently lmao. continues to be sweet how she’s so awkward but powers through on account of her interest in pokemon (which was brought up twice in this episode, first with briar where she talked about welcamo, and then indirectly with sazare. one of the most consistent things about her.) welcamo/kuwassu has always taken care of dot but it was cool to see her verbally acknowledge that kuwassu kind of Chose Her instead of the other way around. i really hope someday we get some sort of Dot Kuwassu Origins episode, i want to see how they met and bonded when dot wasn't interested in becoming a trainer herself

anyway liko asking dot if she's okay and sitting next to her at briar's tent send post

[elidelochans]

I don’t think Nesta will have another book of her own, but I do think that if Azriel’s book is next, then it would make complete sense for her to feature heavily in it! I think Az’s book – based on SF & HOFAS – will involve Illyria, and Ramiel, and the Valkyries, so Nesta would definitely be in it a lot! Idk if it’ll involve Autumn Court or the mortal queens, to set up Elucien’s book, but who knows. I’m still excited and a little nervous!

Oh same nonnie! I was talking to a friend about this and think that it could be an Az book with a Gwyn romance and still have Nesta’s journey in it. Especially since Truth Teller and Gwydion/starsword go in hand and hand. Nesta could absolutely have a side plot in his book and it make sense.

I think Az's book will deal overcoming his Illyrain hatred, learning more of Enalius, Illyria, and find out exactly what he can do with Truth Teller. It can also connect to the Valkyries by extension of training them, Nesta and Gwyn. Speaking of Gwyn he'd have his romance with her. I think a goodway of them getting together is by researching and using the library to find information on Illyria and Enalius.

Ramiel I'm conflicted on. I can see it dealing with Az. But at the same time each Archeron sister had a mountain to deal with it. With one sister left and one mountain left...

And the Autumn Court is another thing I think is up in the air. On one hand, we think Autumn Court and immediately think of a Lucien connection with Eris and Beron. Cause Lucien is thought of Elain is. I've been thinking alot about the Autumn Court plot because the last moment we see Eris and Cassian in acosf seems like this is a precedent and needs to be addressed quickly. Just as this could fit into an Elucien book. Plotwise I think it could work in an Az book.

Hear me out: Eris has been working with the IC, he's been working with Az (😏) and Cassian. Getting Beron out and Eris in as High Lord is a deal made with Rhys. There's also whatever went down with Mor. Alot of the Autumn Court stuff is attached to Eris not Lucien. It would make sense if this arc is continued and possibly solved in an Az centric book.

For Elain and Lucien, I too think their story will revolve around the Mortal Queens, Koschei, but also the theme of choice, Vassa's curse and perhaps the Spring Court. Oh and that little thing Lucien doesn't know about his parentage. I do think that if Koschei is to be the big bad then Elain next would make sense too because we don't know anything really about him and for him being the big bad seems strange. What are we gonna learn about and defeat him in one book? Possible but not sjms M.O.

It's always, always possible to have Az's book next and find that Koschei is somehow connected to Enalius/Illyrians that would bring us back to Elain and the final book. There's just so many possibilities

[whoiskt]

2022 draws to a close... it is time now... the questions...

1: What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

WENT TO THE OCEAN!!! BABEY WE FINALLY MADE IT!

Also wrote a TV pilot script which has altered the course of my future in ways that are yet to be determined....

I did some other things, of course, but nothing as big as those. Like, I went to the renaissance faire, and tried hot pot, poisoned myself with mold. Just a tastes of some firsts.

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I made... so many. It was too much. 

Read 10 books--- Yeah, I technically have started and failed to complete many books. This does include Dracula -_- I’m so bad at finishing things. I’m trying to finish one before New Years.

Go to an event I wouldn’t normally attend--- I mean, I did go to the ren faire... so I want to count this.

Run a mile in less than 12 minutes outdoors--- I didn’t try lmao once it was warm enough to run outdoors I had completely forgotten.

Apply for at least 4 jobs a week----

I was trying to film a second a day too and that ended in... February. 

Yeah, anyways, I don’t know. I got to be more reasonable.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nay! Least you count all the girlies at work.

4: Did anyone close to you die?

Nay!

5: What countries did you visit?

I’m still working on that ok?

6: What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

Watch as KT chooses “career” for the fourth year in a row... Honestly, no. I’m going to say a feeling of community. That’s what I really want.

7: What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I will probably forget everything. I still remember the queen died on the 8th of September. I don’t know why I remember that but I doubt it will last.

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Writing the script. I mean, it has changed a bit, and will continue to, but it was a big step in this journey I’m on. And as you know, I rarely finish things I start, so this was a big deal. Even if it never sees the light of day.

I read it to my family at Christmas and my oldest bro-in-law told me to keep making it because he likes it.... HUGE compliment coming from him.

I have also written the outlines for several other episodes for this not-real TV show of mine. I think I’m up to 5 outlines, in addition to the script. So, yeah. Even if it never gets to TV I might make it into a webcomic. Like, I'll make a pact that if I haven't gotten it made by the time I'm 30, I'll start making it into a webcomic instead.

Plus, I’ve been working a lot on my portfolio. I need to finish that up in January and then I’ll be applying for grad school! Scary but exciting. 

9: What was your biggest failure?

My biggest failure of the year was probably whenever I applied and interviewed for that broadcasting job. I was really bummed that I didn’t get the job because of the following reasons:

1) It was “the perfect” job for me, I was perfectly qualified and it was in the perfect place, as close as I could get to my “dream job” without leaving the state.

2) There was three (3!) openings. The odds should have been in my favor

3) I knew someone who was already working there. Just embarrassing to me like, ok, so he knows I didn’t get the position. We went to school together our resumes were VERY similar ya know? How did I not get it?

But my biggest failure did lead me to self-reflect. The job search the last few years has been so hard. Getting this rejection was a very big “I can’t do this anymore” moment, so I was thinking, what has brought me satisfaction in all this? The answer was the TV show I write in my notes app.

And because I believe in that enough, I guess I’m going to go do that now instead. Either way, it’s been really fucking nice since then to have just completely given up on the job search. Just so nice.

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes, first I was sick... idk some time in Spring. Then I drank mold and became poisoned that way, so that was fun. And this last week I’ve had a stomach bug so wooo! I look forward to being well again.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

I bought the new tablet. It is really nice. But it would really only be useable thanks to Will, letting me borrow his computer all the time these days. 

12: Whose behavior merited celebration?

I respect all my friends for their behavior and growth or dealing with challenges. It was tough ages 18-24 dealing with losing friends, but now the people I choose to surround myself never worry me, or shock me, or even come close to disgusting me. That’s not something I could have said when I was younger (sadly). But now all my friends are super solid and I am proud to know them.

13: Whose behavior made you appalled?

I don’t know... sometimes my coworkers do stuff but I wouldn’t call it outright appalling? At worst it’s petty drama or bootlicking. But I’m very good at leaving things at work so I don’t care.

14: Where did most of your money go?

They keep increasing the gd rent grrrrr

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The ocean and the beach and the accompanying aura was really cool. I was so excited in general for summer and warm weather, which I think I’m just thinking about because I want it really bad right now. 

Chainsaw Man anime! It’s been great showing it to Will, now he knows who tf I’m talking about.

16: What song will always remind you of 2022?

I really don’t listen to pop songs anymore but on our drive to the east coast we discovered Brick + Motar which has become a staple in our home, so pretty much all their songs.

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?

I’m probably in all ways about the same. This is what I talk about when I say all the last few years have been a blur because things really don’t get better or worse they just stay the same.

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

Focusing on finishing things I started. Running theme here, I know, lmao

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Play stupid little games on my phone. I seriously get addicted to these things.

20: How did you spend Christmas?

Went home. It was really brief this year. I'll make sure my visit next year is an extended stay.

21: Did you fall in love in 2022?

Never stopped.

22: What was your favorite TV program?

Some things I enjoyed this year: Severance, What We Do in the Shadows, Arcane, Chainsaw Man, Spy x Family, Jojo Part 6, Bee and Puppycat: Lazy in Space, Fringe, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Gravity Falls, and many docs.

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nah.

24: What was the best book you read?

I have been and should be finished reading “The Song of Achilles” soon. I enjoy it because before I played Hades, and as a former greek mythology kid, I hadn’t heard of Patroclus, and I enjoy learning more about him..

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?

I did a lot of musical discovery this year. Like, more than usual, probably not a lot compared to most people. First off, I discovered Of Montreal (not from Montreal sus) TV on the Radio, and of course my Spotify top song of the year: “Heart It Races” by Architecture in Helsinki (I have yet to listen to a single other song of theirs because I just know nothing can top this).

Will discovered Brick + Mortar, and Fish in a Birdcage, which I have coveted.

I have also enjoyed That Handsome Devil and Spoon. Although there is more diving to do with them.

26: What did you want and get?

New drawing tablet. 

27: What did you want and not get?

New laptop. My tastes are just too expensive and so I ended up using the money for other things.

28: What was your favorite film of this year?

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE!

29: What one thing that made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Writing things for myself and then reading them off to Will. Oh, yeah, my TV show has a fan! Just greenlight me baby!

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Visions from higher powers. But mostly I don’t wear pants at home. I’m not wearing pants as I write this.

31: What kept you sane?

Socializing. Going outside. Going for walks. Music. My notes app.

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I don’t care about celebrities but I do care about Aki Hayakawa.

33: What political issue stirred you the most?

I lost rights this year so..... oof.

34: Who did you miss?

My kitty cat. 

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022.

I learned not to compromise on quality of life? Life is filled with dreams. You gotta follow the string of satisfaction. 

It’s easy to get caught up in a stream of “well I have to do this, and then that, and then I’ll be happy.” Which is pretty much how I have lived my life up to this point. I went to college because I thought it was a step to happiness. I wasn’t happy while doing it. I should have done something else, I think. It was unhappy times. 

Like, I don’t really like my job, it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, or even a year more, but it’s something I can do now, while pursuing other things that DO satisfy me... and THAT’S the satisfaction I have in my life. Before, it was just a step while I waited for something better. But I realize that’s not a good way to live life.

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

[1d1195]

SAM MY LOVE I MISSED YOU SO MUCHHHHH!!!!😭 it felt so weird not being able to talk to you😭 how are you my love?!? How was your break?!?

AHHHH SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON BESTIE!!!

And you’re right we really are so similar that I honestly did not take it in a bad way! If anything I always appreciate your insight! Exams were hell but like it’s whatever at this point lol I have one last round of midterms in two weeks before my finals so I will be ✨suppressing✨ my feelings on that until I’m done bahaha BUT OMG I QUESTION MY FRIENDS CHOICES TOO BAHAHA I have had a history girl…. It’s a lot for sure for another day lol AND OMG SAM HOT PROFESSOR 😵‍💫 he’s sooooo omg I could cry bc he’s so hot and I seriously always spiral in class lol he puts effort in his fits but like still does not look exaggerated anyways idk if I mentioned before but HES A BIKER!!! And he’s so sweet and he always ends class with “see ya later gang” like 😭 THE DILF VIBES THAT HE EMITTS ARE CRAZY😭

Yeah I can totally agree with obsessions and the TOLL that it is lol like I feel so bad for my parents that they wasted so much money on me shopping at hot topic 😭 anyways still was fun though lol I definitely wish I had that energy again bc I simply cannot keep up anymore lol

Bestie I read part 3 and IT WAS SO GOOD !! SO MANY THOUGHTS HONESTLY oh and I read the sun kissed extra!!! So many thoughts!!! I will try to get my main points and reactions bc I feel like I wrote already too much lol

I LITERALLY WAS SO EXCITED FOR SUN KISSED EXTRA!!! I voted for that one and was surprised that it wasn’t voted on too much :( BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE BC I LOVE ALL OF THEM! Anyways I MISSED THEM SO MUCH I LITERALLY LOVE THAT STORY SOLEY BC WHERE IM FROM THE BEACH IS A BIG DEAL! Anyways I can’t believe they are moving together and Harry literally transferred to her district 😭😭😭 CRYYYYYYYY I HOPE WE CAN GET MORE OF THEM!

NOW PART 3 WAS SOOOO GOOD!!! You know I love when Harry gets jealous and possessive😵‍💫 and omg TELL ME WHY I HAVE A KYLE IN KY LIFE BAHAHAH but Kyle was so cute and honestly kinda loved he stood up for the MC and essentially was ready to go to war for her🥰 bahah anyways THEY ARE OFFICIAL NOW WHICH IS SO CUTE!!! I LOVE THEM QND IM LIVING THEOUGH THEM RN!!! I have a Kyle and all I need is a Harry 😩

Missed you so much Sam! Thank you for constantly putting out such lovely content❤️-💜

HIIIIII I've missed you SOOOOO much. I hope your exams went well, I'm sure you aced them! That seems so crazy you have midterms and you're already thinking about finals! I feel like the semester just started! I knew you were busy all week but by Friday I literally was like "Ughhh where is she!?" My break was good! Very boring, nothing to really chat about. I finished a book last week and I'm about half way through this one--it's very good. I actually think YOU would like the book I finished because I did not hahahahahahahaha don't get me wrong it was VERY well written and I did like it, but it was so stressful and not what I usually read. The Lost Girls of Willowbrook. Very creepy in my opinion.

ANYWAY.

YOU DID MENTION HE WAS A BIKER BUT I ALWAYS APPRECIATE THE REMINDER. We love a well-dressed DILF. I'm so glad you're able to learn in that environment. I would be a stuttering mess and would probs do something embarrassing like tell him I loved him or write our names together in a notebook. Did you see the pics of Harry at Manchester soccer game? He looked very DILF-y too🤤😍 I was spiraling myself.

HOT TOPIC I'M SCREAMING. I got my Edward shirt from Hot Topic and I wore it every night to bed like a a LUNATIC. (Now much more appropriately, I wear my Harry's House to bed and do NOT feel like a lunatic). But you're right I do not have the energy anymore. The CONSPIRACIES and THEORIES people have I am so overwhelmed, I don't know what to say. I'm not a Swiftie (not an anti-Swiftie either) but HOLY COW. "She wore purple so that means--" "The date adds up to the number 13" "In 2010 on this date she posted this so in 2024 that means this" ?????? THAT'S CRAZY, but like good for them. I'm in awe tbh.

Aw! I'm so glad you voted for them! I have another round of voting coming this week and I feel like it will be VERY split five different ways hahahaha I'm a beach girl as well! I feel like it's one of the only things I have a good grasp on writing about because it was so entrenched in my childhood. I don't know if I have any other ideas for them at the moment (I feel like all the couples I've been writing about lately/voted on are getting engaged this week and next week 🤭 --spoiler/not spoiler: not MFT they're just babies). But I can try and come up with something eventually. I gotta reshare my draft list so everyone can see inside my head, it's getting wilder by the minute.

I'm currently writing the 4th part to MFT and I feel like the first two parts were really good and parts 3 and 4 are very 🤷‍♀️ I'm so glad you liked Kyle! (I wanted to name him Noah actually but I think I mentioned I'm a big Noah Kahan fan right now and it was too coincidental; I noticed when I had his character say "that makes a lot of sense" and I was like "okay, Samantha, that's a literal song lyric, make it more obvious." So I renamed him Kyle). Idk if you read Icebreaker (it was very big on TikTok for a while) Kyle is modeled after Henry a bit. He's a cutie pie 😊

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR KYLE!?!?!?!?! 😍

SO happy to hear from you, hope you had a relaxing weekend after a busy week, sorry for the novel rambling in response but you should not feel bad about writing too much. It's always the highlight of my day when I get a message from you! 💕

xoxo

[imnotactuallygoingtousethis]

So, Sunday was meant to be my first pride fest since “officially” coming out

(in reality I just settled on some labels that work decent enough, I’ve long held that I felt like a part of the queer community but had been told for years I was wrong and look at me cmon of course I’m cishet. The only thing that changed is I stopped letting other people have a say in how I see myself)

Since I’ve always been so averse to labeling myself and have been open about myself for so long maybe she didn’t think it was a big deal. Maybe I’ve been so content I never brought up that I’d “officially come out”. Idk I’m trying to hold space for the possibility it was a misunderstanding. But it fucking hurt when she cancelled AFTER we were supposed to be there already.

I asked her and my sibling if they’d come with me (I’m too scared to go alone, not because of bigots, just social phobia) months in advance.

I gave warnings two weeks and one week in advance. Tried to start planning transport days in advance cuz I knew we were all bad at texting quickly. She even kept tabs on the weather so I thought we were fine. We knew it might rain but I said if it did they should both come over to my place and we can celebrate anyway. I tried… I really, really tried. Sent a book in texts trying to coordinate the night before, no response.

Got up early the morning of, excited. Tried to keep busy, did laundry, dishes, started getting dressed. I bought trans tape for the event and wasted a lot of it figuring how to apply it lol. It was cool seeing myself mostly flat chested, just a lil bit of boobage. Ever since I was a kid I wanted “chick boobs”, just enough to be a boob but with my pecs on full display. I was trying to hold wait to express the excitement and gender euphoria. I wanted to wait until it was closer to leave before I did sunscreen and glitter though.

So I waited. I’d sent another text at 7 am so I was waiting for a confirmation from either person that noon was a good time to head out, or where we wanted to meet (I’d asked a week ago, no response). And I kept waiting, at 11:30-45 or so I fell into a brief nap.

At like, 1:30 I woke up to a text from my sister timestamped around 12:30 saying she’d leave in an hour. (Um leave to where? I’d suggested meeting at ur place and no one responded?!) and a couple texts from my friend explaining that her and her partner were going over finances to buy a house and so she could not go with. She waited until after my sibling texted and then flaked immediately.

If she was up since 8 she def saw my text from 7. I don’t get why she wouldn’t have let me know asap. Or honestly, I don’t get why she wouldn’t have told her boyfriend that the financial shit needed to wait for a day. I tried to make sure everyone had plenty of time to schedule around our plans.

In fact- I KNOW I left enough time for them to schedule around it. The sister asks if I still wanted to go, but at that point it was 2 and it would have taken practically an hour to get there and park; I was too dejected to leave my apartment anyway so I said no. She said she’d try to stop by but never did.

I want to be nice to them because of all the space for misunderstanding, so I’m writing this instead. Maybe I’ll share my hurt with my sib and my best friend, one day. But for now I just need to let it be known how distraught I feel. How abandoned and unimportant I felt slowly removing the tape from my chest in the mirror, watching myself blink back tears in part of the outfit I’d picked out hours before my plans were canceled.

My last pride was my sister’s first since she’d come out as bi. I was excited to help her have their moment. Helped apply flag themed eyeshadow and got my anxious, crowd-averse ass out the door to make sure she wouldn’t be alone. Am I selfish for wanting someone to do the same for me?

I deserve my first pride. I’m not waiting a whole year. I’m having my own little pride this friday hopefully. I wanna do it while it’s still June otherwise I’d do it on Monday before my weekend. Me myself and I will be having an awesome lil personal pride celebration; complete with any rainbow snacks I can find and some fruity drinks. My boyfriend will probably throw more Will and Grace on, and I can wallow with the one person who’s always there for me.

[terrortriplets]

Hey there! Holiday anon here!!

I’ve been trying to read more so I really appreciate the book recs in your last message! Here’s to hoping we both enjoy Hail Mary!

I’m very lucky to have self titled in pink! I bought it around two years ago now I think? And I found it at a steal honestly compared to the $200+ people were listing it for so it was very much a chance thing.

I have all but midnight memories on vinyl because I think they’ve yet to press it and I hope the color is nice but I honestly doubt it however I will buy it either way just to have it on vinyl. Idk why but I have a feeling urban outfitters (who’s been pressing the 1D color vinyls recently) are gonna make it like a weird neon yellow??? They’re not gonna do red unfortunately even though that’s the main color of the album because they made four red for some reason? The colors they’ve picked for the albums have honestly not been very complementary or like matching other than them making mitam blue since blue and orange are complementary.

Anyways, you can definitely add me to your rob list lol, when you come to rob me we’ll just chill and listen!! I’m not sure if there’s one vinyl I listen to more than the rest buuut self titled really is a different experience on vinyl.

Those are such stunning paintings! And Italy! How fun and exciting!!! I’ve never left the US and I’ve rarely left my state as well but I’m hoping one day to travel more in and out of the US!!!

Such a cool thing to go to school for, I hope the new year brings a spark as well!!! And oooo that sounds like a look!!! Jean on Jean, I’m not sure I could pull that off. I’ve not seen heartstopper, it just doesn’t seem up my alley and I’ve yet to check out young royals but a few people I follow post about it so maybe I’ll watch it and get into it like through osmosis lol. Like my book interest, the shows I watch are skewed more towards sci-fi, thrillers,  psychological, horror and sometimes comedy dramas! One of the best shows I’ve watched this year is The Devils Hour and then in all honesty, one of the best shows I’ve seen in literal years this year is Severance, starring Adam Scott. Barry is very good too!! There’s tons more but of course I can’t seem to remember them atm.

For pets I’ve only ever had dachshunds and pitbulls! Would you believe that the dachshund was the meanest one out of the two? He was an old man who had no problem biting !!! And good answer! That transition period is a good one, I love it.

Alright, speed round again!! If you could pick, what would be your dream thing to do for the rest of your life? Like if you could do anything, logistics not factoring in. Like for me, I’d love to be somewhat of a NatGeo photographer I just think it would be amazing. Do you play any video games? If so what’s your favorite? Even if you don’t play do you have a favorite to watch others play? Do you have a topic you could rant about at any time? For me it’s the decline of physical media recently. I love to rant about it because it breaks my heart and I have a love for it. And I could rant about some characters as well buuut I feel that’s not as the same. One last one here, if you play Mario party games, who do you tend to pick as your player?

Hope this message reaches you well and that you’ve had a lovely day! Again, sorry for the length, I know it’s not a big deal but I can’t help but apologize! I just feel the need to reply to everything and just rant and chat!

-🎉❄️

Hello, hun!! Hope your weekend was a nice and relaxing one!!✨

I would literally do anything for the pink self-titled just so I can say that I have it!! It’s so pretty and you are such a lucky person to be able to obtain it!! If you don’t mind, I would love to see a picture of it!! 🥺

I have the little 7” midnight memories picture disc that has the midnight memories single on one side and Rock Me (Live) on the other!! I can’t wait until they press the whole album on vinyl! If urban outfitters does decide to press it, they really should make it red instead of having four being red!! They could have pressed four in like a brown that resembled wood, if that makes any sense!! Or they could have pressed it in Louis blue, as I love to call it lol. I think it would go very well with the color scheme at the time!! If they do decide to do it in a neon yellow, I wouldn’t mind cause I actually enjoy the color yellow lol.

Honestly, I would love that!! We could listen to it together while talking about how much self-tiled was a cultural reset on our society as we know it lol. What’s your favorite track off of self-titled? Mine would have to be a tie between Only Angel and Meet Me in the Hallway!! I could also ask your favs. on the other boy’s albums!!?!? Louis’ would be fearless, walls, Chicago, all this time, miss you, the list goes on!! Niall’s would be heartbreak weather (single), still, and mirrors!! For zayn, I have too many favorites, so for the sake of this ask, I’m gonna say the entirety of Icarus Falls!! Liam’s music doesn’t really intrigue me as much as the other boys, but I do enjoy his song slow!!

I was also someone who didn’t really leave the states unless it was to go to Puerto Rico to visit family, so Italy was truly an experience I will hold near and dear in my heart, even though it was a very short lived trip!! I’d say if you have the opportunity to go, please do!! I recommend!!

I haven’t heard many things about severance, but I have seen some people talk about it here and there, so I would like to look more into it as well as the devils hour!!

I believe you when you say that the smaller dogs are the most expressive and outgoing ones compared to the larger ones!! Pitbulls are just gentle giants while smaller breeds like chihuahuas and dachshunds can be the meanest little things!! My grandmother has a little chihuahua, but she’s the nicest little old lady you would ever lay your eyes on!! She has her moments, but I would die for her!!

Speed Round!! I thoroughly enjoy these speed round questions, so keep them coming lol. I’ll do my best to answer them!! Dream job w/ no logistics? Honestly, if I can just hang out with animals and get paid for it, I would!! When you said you would be a NatGeo photographer, that’s such a good answer!! To say something a little different, I would probably teach art to high schoolers, but without the added stress of having to be a higher education instructor!!

Video Games!? Oh, honey, I love me a good video game!! To hit two birds with one stone, I can talk about video games for hours!! As of right now, I haven’t been playing too many things, but the most recent games I’ve been playing have been Legend of Zelda: Breathe of the Wild and Cult of the Lamb!! I also really enjoy the Pokémon franchise, I would also say I can go on and on about Pokémon through a video game/aesthetic standpoint!! I feel the most comfortable playing games that resemble farming RPGs where you have to farm for items in order to progress. If you haven’t played many games before, I highly recommend Stardew valley!! It’s very good and it has such an in-depth story element to it!! My favorite video game character of all time has to be Kirby!! I truly love all things Kirby!! Lol. I do also love to watch people play video games I know I, myself, could never play just out of pure skill level that I don’t have for those types of genres. Markiplier/Jacksepticeye are the first two who ring a bell, but I’m also trying to branch out and find more people who record lets plays!! Mario Party/Kart Main? I am a hoe for Yoshi!! Every time my friends and I play, I have two be one of two options: Yoshi or Bowser Jr. If this paragraph didn’t already explain that I can go on for much longer, then idk what will lol.

I agree with you 10000% in terms of declining physical media!! I missed having physical things that I can hold onto to acquire that memory of a specific time in my life!! That’s probably why I have to many trinkets due to not being able to have many of them when I was younger, but now having adult money, I can literally buy what I please!! Because of this, over quarantine is when I started to pick up cd/vinyl collecting that I missed out on when I was younger!! I’ve always wanted to have all the 1d cds in physical form (now I do and I have them all in a frame on my dresser in my room!!). What physical media do you miss the most?

Keep the long asks coming!! I really am enjoying the conversation as time goes on!! 🎄✨

[thetabbybadger]

I’m still very interested in this but I haven’t had much time to be able to focus on it. I’ve got two big things I have to decide though:

1. How animal-y everyone is.

Ideally I really like the sapient but still creatures idea. But I do like the Redwall style of still being very people-y and having houses/clothes etc. Also I have never actually read a Redwall book the whole way through….. I know, fake fan 😓

Originally I was kind of imagining more animalistic where clothes are optional, naturally quadrupedal animals still stay on all fours etc. but I think anthro-ing it up a little more will make world-building easier and also the game more enjoyable. Still might go with some animal fantasy rules and say clothes are polite but optional. Mostly cause things like snakes and birds would have harder times wearing clothes so I don’t want them to be left out xD

Plus I want homes and inns and good cooking and art so yeah. Whimsical but full anthro. So woot, one problem solved I guess xD

2. Am I ignoring the food situation?

So like, I don’t want the world-building to take over the whole game but like, any anthro setting has to deal with the carnivore/herbivore situation. I don’t want the setting to have an herbivore vs carnivore theme but I don’t want to just avoid talking about food? Seafood and insects are fair game for easy food. Idk I’ll have to see the more I think on it.

Unofficial third thing is how much I want to lean on D&D/pathfinder for things. I want lots of classes and there are good ones there! “Races” will obviously be animals. I think for player characters though there will be a size limit (at least at first) for ease of the party. Probably nothing bigger than a fox/bobcat. I’m excited to think of special abilities and bonuses for different species! And size will have to be important since it will be varying so much. Do I want the same stat blocks? Hmmm

I do know one thing I want to add! Something I want that will be it’s own mechanic to the game and it will be the importance of:

Crafting!

I think while exploring, when players find loot, they will be more likely to find good supplies and they can craft that into items they want. This started as a nitpicky worldbuilding thing like, what if a rabbit player finds really good armor… for a mouse. Etc. And like I guess a DM could just tailor loot to their group but isn’t it more fun to make the world work for you?!

Obviously magic will still be a big part in the game so enchanting etc. will play a role in crafting as well.

Anyway, this is me just rambling about a potential game that I hope to keep working on, even if it’s low key. :3

Kinda wanna homebrew my own anthropomorphic animal fantasy ttrpg 🤔 (Redwall/Bloomburrow etc.)

Dunno if I just wanna re-skin D&D or just use it as a starting base or look at other ttrpgs or what yet. But I would want/need to homebrew the world and that is both an exciting idea and a heavily daunting one :O

[personasintro]

Maybe you could do a drabble about that one eating out scene in ch 15 when jk was like yn is his breakfast yknow. It’s one of my favorite parts of the book since it was so cute how he treated her and picked her up and set her on the kitchen counter. There was fluff and and smut kinda in there idk it just drove me crazy lol. I just very much love this scene and it would be cool if we had an extended version of him eating his breakfast…yknow what i mean hahah

A part of Mutual Help series!

pairing: mh!jungkook x reader

warnings: explicit language, oral sex [female receiving]

word count: 1k+

a/n: you asked, I delivered <3 this is a drabble happening in the chapter 15

##

“You’re disgusting.”

And you’re such a liar, Jungkook thinks as he arches his brow at your obvious lie. The familiar glint in your eyes is too evident and even though your mouth says something else, you’re not going to fool him.

On his knees right in front of you, while you’re sitting on the top of his kitchen counter which he lifted you onto just a minute ago, he doesn’t see any kind of protest on your side which tells him enough. You’re loving this just as much as he is.

Jungkook can’t quite explain the need to make you feel good. He’s a man, of course he gets horny and this deal happening between you is something new and different for him. For the both of you. But even though he had sex with other women over the years, it was still different. Just like having sex with someone who’s he in a relationship with, it feels very different because there are feelings involved and of course, he’s dating someone.

But you’re his best friend.

Someone who’s very attractive and he’s about to eat you out in his breakfast like it’s the most normal thing to do.

Pulling his boxers off you, he exposes your heat to his eyes and the air, getting a glimpse before he looks up at you and your big eyes full of expectation.

“Am I?” he asks, staring at those eyes of yours filled with lust and excitement. There’s still a hint of surprise in them, like you can’t believe he’s about to do this and it was totally unexpected but you can’t wait.

And he knows you’re recognizing that knowing look he’s giving you, not expecting you to answer. “Now spread those pretty legs for me.”

And you do. Right after he said it, welcoming him with open legs (literally) which he appreciates very much because he dives right in. He almost moans when his mouth finally touches your heat, tasting you as a surprised gasp leaves your mouth.

You’re so wet, Jungkook thinks as he licks a long stripe from your folds up to your clit where he stops, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud which makes you see stars.

Jungkook is too busy having his head buried between your thighs, but he hears the moans and gasps, your pretty mouth is leaving. He feels everything and he’s not even inside of you. He feels the way your pussy clenches repeatedly, your own hips bucking into his face slightly as you chase the pleasure his mouth is giving you.

You taste divine, making Jungkook let go of your clit and focus on your swollen heat that begs for more attention. And he gives it to you.

It’s messy, but he’s joining every second of it even when your juices wet his chin and entire mouth, everything he was unable to taste and swallow. You’re almost sliding off the counter, your hands bravely preventing you from it as your knuckles turn white from how tight you’re holding up yourself.

Jungkook recognizes the state you’re currently in, it’s not just you receiving the pleasure but he can feel you’re getting close. His fingers dig into your thighs and try to spread your legs a little bit more, so he gets enough room to dip the tip of his tongue inside you.

And it seems like it’s your final point because he barely puts it in, thrusting with the tip of his tongue only a few times before you let out the biggest moan.

“Fuck!” You’re close, so he does the same thing and groans against you, spreading your legs even further apart as he buries his face even more into you, his nose poking your clit.

And it all happens too quickly, it seems like it’s too much for you and you can’t bear more pleasure because you suddenly gasp and your legs shake a little.

“Kook, fuck!”

He feels you clenching around the tip of his tongue, Jungkook gently thrusting it in as he rides you through your orgasm. Once it seems like you’re stopping, he makes sure to lick all of your cum. He doesn’t see the way you’re biting your lip, trying to prevent yourself from whining from the overstimulation but it does feel too good to tell him to stop.

He cleans you up, slightly pulling away to check on you and once your eyes meet, he gives you the widest grin. His lips shine from your cum and so does his nose and chin. He looks messy, thanks to you and he can see the way your eyes dance across his whole face and you’re nowhere near disgusted. It’s like you can’t believe the sight in front of you, wanting to remember every deal of his face.

It’s your juices, cum and his spit mixed all together but fuck, does he look breathtaking. You almost want to go for another round which Jungkook would probably agree to right away, considering his half-hardened cock.

And you yelp, starting to slip down while staring at Jungkook with alarmed eyes but he’s quick to get onto his feet, stopping your body from sliding down his kitchen counter by pressing his body against yours. He holds you, staring at you with a smirk.

“Still think I’m disgusting?” he teases you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while the other one still holds you at your side.

“Hmm, kinda…” you tease him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. And then you stare at his lips but Jungkook purposely doesn’t move, not wanting to make the move and you notice it, your eyes flickering to his as he just raises his brow at you.

Rolling your eyes, Jungkook is pulled forward by your arms around his neck as you connect their lips together, mouths meeting in a messy and wet kiss. He’s sure you can taste yourself on his tongue but you’re dirty. So dirty that even Jungkook is surprised to see your new side every time.

But it’s okay, he can be patient. Especially when he gets to see you like this.

[babyboibucky]

Don’t You Worry (Your Pretty Little Head)

Pairing: Guitarist!Bucky x Reader

Summary: You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: THE LENGTH lmfao, soft smut??? Nothing vulgar and it’s sorta implied

A/N: I am honestly nervous about posting this piece because idk, aside from it being fucking long, I was never satisfied with how this was written lmfao. I literally rewrote this like idk 5 times??? And the fact that I made a mood board for a oneshot lmfao only means I poured my heart out into this shit and I’m really hoping y’all would enjoy this as much as my other works 🥺

MAIN MASTERLIST

Your idea of a fun Friday night involved your couch and Netflix playing in the background as you scrolled through your phone with a glass of wine in hand. This was your definition of pure bliss, something that Wanda violently opposed to.

So here you were, seated in the front of a music bar while Wanda’s favorite band played.

“See? This isn’t so bad, right? Better than wallowing in your apartment alone.” She teased as she leaned over to you, needing to amp up the volume of her voice so you can hear her.

“The fact that we can’t even hear each other properly makes wallowing alone sound so much better.” You told her, not even bothering to repeat yourself when she didn’t understand what you said over the loud music playing.

Her favorite band introduced their last song for the night and as they did, you checked your phone for the time. It was barely past ten in the evening and you were already dying to get home. You’ll bid goodbye after this, you promised yourself. Just one last song and you’re out. Before the band could even finish their last song, you’d already decided on what pizza to order and which wine to bring out.

That was until the next band came up on stage to prepare for their performance. You were leaning over Wanda already, about to tell her that you were heading home, when one particular guy caught your eye. Something that Wanda noticed when she saw you gawking at the stage.

“Oh my god. He’s definitely your type.” Wanda said when her eyes landed on the bassist.

He had dirty blonde hair and a clean-shaven face that looked a little too innocent for someone to be in a rock band. Your exact type— one with the boy next door appeal, someone you’d want to bring home to introduce to your parents. Wanda was so sure you were crushing on the bassist but as soon as he followed your line of sight, she almost choked on her own spit.

You weren’t eyeing the bassist, instead, you were completely focused on the lead guitarist. You were so enamored by this guy that you failed to notice Wanda gushing over the fact that you were enamored by someone who was the complete opposite of your type.

It was the lead guitarist who caught your attention. The one with long hair tied into a low, messy man bun, his stray locks framing his perfectly chiseled face. It wasn’t only the hair that made you look at him, it was also his left arm— it was covered entirely with tattoos. And then he started playing the guitar and good god, his fingers were something else.

It was rare for you to have certain thoughts, the kind that would make you sweat in church. And thank fuck for Wanda finally snapping you out of your filthy trance because if she hadn’t, you would’ve seriously drowned in your not so pure thoughts.

“I can’t believe you’re attracted to that guy. This makes me so excited, honestly.” Wanda squealed.

“Huh?” You played dumb of course. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Wanda snorted out loud, “I just witnessed you drool over the guitarist for a good five minutes. Stop denying.” She said.

You rolled your eyes, “Maybe I did. And so what? It’s not like I’m gonna act on it.”

“You have to fuck him.” Wanda casually suggested, making you choke on your drink.

You weren’t a prude but you didn’t like the idea of hooking up with people, most especially strangers. You weren’t going to lie though, it did cross your mind. Obviously, the way his fingers moved on his guitar really threw your brain down the gutter. Sure, you might have wondered what it’d be like to have those fingers on you but again, would you act on it? Hell no.

“It’s just one night. Live a little, come on. And you getting attracted to someone like him? That’s once in a blue moon, all the more you need to bring him home.” Wanda said.

“One night stands don’t really work well for me and you know that. The first time I tried that was also the last time because I ended up getting attached. And how did that end? Terrible. So no, thank you. Never again.” You told Wanda.

Fortunately, Wanda stopped bugging you about fucking the guitarist. It wasn’t really a big deal, it was nothing but a moment of admiration. You were hell-bent on going home anyway, well, maybe after his band finishes their first song. Besides, he wouldn’t notice you so why bother staying?

“Oh my god, he’s looking at you!” Wanda almost screamed, slapping at your arm until you turned to the stage.

And holy fuck. He was really looking at you. Why though? You even looked behind you to make sure it was you he was staring at and when you turned back at him, he smirked and threw a wink at your way.

“You know what, I think I’m gonna head home.” You said, not knowing how to act.

Wanda pulled you back down when you stood up, “Oh no, honey. No one’s going home this early.” She said. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint him, would you?” She quickly added, tipping her head towards the stage.

When you looked up at the guitarist, he was still looking at you as he played. This time, he was actually pouting, as if pleading for you to stay. You quickly avoided his gaze and although it was dimly lit in the bar, you still bowed your head to hide the blush creeping up to your face.

You managed to survive the entire setlist of the band despite the flirty smiles and winks that the guitarist gave you. Wanda was ecstatic about it, it made you wonder if she was actually the one crushing on the guy. As soon as the last song was done, you excused yourself and hurried into the bathroom to compose yourself.

It was the first time that you experienced such attraction towards a guy like him. You always went with the good boys, so why were you so drawn to this guy who looked nothing but trouble? You were in denial, this was totally out of your comfort zone so you shook the thoughts away and promised yourself (again) that you’d head home this time. For real.

“There you are.”

You gasped out loud when you stepped out of the bathroom, quickly colliding against a solid chest when you heard his voice. It was low yet gentle, soft-spoken but sinful.

“I’m sorry?” You sputtered out, bowing down your head to avoid the lead guitarist’s gaze.

“I thought you left already.” He said. “I’m Bucky, by the way.” He introduced, extending his left arm for a handshake.

Your eyes landed on his tattooed arm, despite the ink covering it all up you could actually see his veins.

“And I’m going home.” You quickly shook Bucky’s hand, ignoring the electricity that ran through your veins and brushed past him, eyes scanning the bar for Wanda.

Bucky jogged ahead of you, blocking your way and chuckling to himself. “Don’t I at least get a name?” He asked.

You were internally screaming, but you managed to mention your name just so he would leave you alone. Sure, he was hot and he was actually flirting with you. But your fear of the unknown outweighed your attraction. You weren’t ready to step out of your comfort zone. Yet.

Bucky trailed behind you as you looked for Wanda, cursing to yourself when you couldn’t spot her anywhere. You took out your phone and called her immediately.

“Wanda? Where are you?” You hiss into the phone.

Bucky watched you with amusement and it was making you uncomfortable. He was just staring at you with a grin on his handsome face. And now, you just discovered that Wanda left you.

“What?! But why?! You’re my ride home! Come back and pick me up!” You exclaim into the phone, unable to believe that Wanda just ditched you.

“You can’t— hello? Wanda? Hello?” You groaned in frustration when your friend ended the call.

“I’d love to offer you a ride home but it’s too early, so how ‘bout I just buy you a drink?” Bucky asked, flashing you a charming smile that made your knees weak.

Part of you wanted to give in and just say, fuck it, let Bucky do whatever he wants with you. The reasonable part of your brain though, highly opposed to this and pulled on the alarms. This guy probably just wants to get you into his bed and although it doesn’t sound that bad, you worried more for what could happen afterwards. You weren’t ready for a repeat of the past. You were too emotional, you had too many strings and they get attached way too quickly.

“No, thank you.” You told Bucky and headed outside the bar, deciding to book an Uber instead.

Bucky was persevering though and followed you out, blocking your way into the sidewalk and snatching your phone away.

“Hey, give me my phone back!” You exclaimed.

“The night is young, c’mon. Why are you so aloof anyway?” Bucky asked.

“Because I don’t know you?” You responded.

Bucky chuckled, “Have you ever heard about making friends? I mean, pretty much everyone you meet starts off as a stranger. And it’s not like I’m a serial killer or anything. I’m not gonna rob you but I most certainly won’t give you your phone back until I convince you to stay a while.” He said and god, he was too charming for your own good.

He made a good point about making friends. You couldn’t even remember the last time you made a new one. Bucky could see the gears in your head working as you stared at him, cheeks flushed and lips parted in deep thought.

“So, what do you say? Stay a while? Keep me company. It’ll be fun.” Bucky insisted.

“Why me?” You blurted out.

It wasn’t that you were insecure, but you were way too different from Bucky. You didn’t seem like his type, but then again, he wasn’t your type either. Until the moment you saw him on stage.

“Why not?” Bucky responded as if he couldn’t believe you just asked him that question.

“Do you ask that every time someone flirts with you? Besides, it’s not everyday that someone like you stared at me like that.” He teased.

Fuck, so he noticed you drooling over him. Quick! Think of a way out, you told yourself.

“Someone like me? What did you mean by that?” You asked, sounding offended.

Bucky’s eyes widened and shook his head, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like it’s a bad thing. I mean, you come in here wearing a chiffon blouse and a pencil skirt and expect me not to notice? I’m actually flattered that a girl, no...a woman...was ogling me. Definitely piqued my interest.” He explained.

That was a compliment, right? The sirens in your head grew louder at the way Bucky was easily throwing you compliments. He must be used to flirting his way into women’s panties, huh? 

“I wasn’t ogling you.” You defended even though you were, looking away from his eyes.

“Sure, you weren’t.” Bucky teased. “Loosen up, will ya? When was the last time you had fun anyway?” He asked.

“Depends on your definition of fun.” You retorted.

“You know what I mean.” Bucky sighed.

“Well, my idea of fun doesn’t involve a guitarist getting me into his bed for a one night stand.” You blurted out, mindlessly.

Bucky made a face and clutched his chest, “Ouch. You went hard on that judgment, I’m not gonna lie, that kinda stings.”

Okay, now you felt bad for jumping to conclusions. Bucky did look like he was hurt from your brash statement. Fuck, he probably thought you were one of those stereotypical bitches! It wasn’t entirely your fault, right? You were just being careful. Were you? Or was it purely overthinking? Your brain was moving all too fast but Bucky quickly distracted you when he took your hand and placed your phone back onto your palm.

“You know, I think I get it why you said that and I honestly can’t blame you. A band dude flirts with you just like that, understandable why you thought that I wanted to get into your pants.” He explained much to your relief.

“I’m sorry, it was tasteless for me to judge you like that.” You quickly apologized, genuinely feeling like a terrible person.

Bucky smiled at you, “Nah, you had every right. I’m sorry if I was too forward but I do really want to spend some time to get to know you. So how about a little proposal?”

There was a glint in Bucky’s eyes that made your heart flutter and your brain go into overdrive. You knew it was a bad idea to give in to Bucky. Someone as charming as him might really be up to no good. Sure, you felt bad for judging him based on his looks. But something in your gut tells you that he was trouble.

“What proposal?” You asked curiously.

“Spend the next twelve hours with me.” Bucky suggested.

You frowned, “What?”

Bucky took your phone again, but only to check the time. “It’s a little past eleven now, I promise you’ll be home before noon tomorrow. Come with me, let loose for once and let’s spend the entire night together. Twelve hours, that’s it.” He said excitedly.

“And I don’t mean have sex with me.” Bucky explained immediately.  “We’ll just hang out, it’s a wholesome proposal. But if you do want to have sex with me, I’m not gonna turn that down. I’m just saying, it’s not my motive but I won’t be saying no to it either.” He reassured.

You felt hot all of a sudden at how Bucky casually talked about having sex with you. It made you feel feverish and for someone who wasn’t really a sexual person, it made you feel like you were about to commit a major sin just by listening to Bucky talk like that.

Bucky beamed at you cutely, waiting for your response and honestly, with how his doe eyes were looking at you like that, was it even possible to say no? Despite the continuous alarms in your head and your inner prude begging you to stay within the confines of your comfort zone, you decided to do something for a change.

So you said yes.

You were spending the next twelve hours with Bucky and you could only hope that you wouldn’t regret it.

-

The night started off slow, thankfully, with Bucky ushering you back into the bar for a couple of drinks. You had to remind yourself to still be alert for any red flags that might show up sooner or later. You knew you were being a bit paranoid, but to hell, it would be better that way than to make mistakes tonight.

“Where do you work?” Bucky asked before calling the waiter.

“I work at a bank.” You told him.

The waiter arrived and took your orders, a tall glass of mojito for you and a rum and coke for Bucky. He asked you a couple more things, where you graduated, your hobbies and what you often did during your weekends. All of which you had pretty boring responses to. Bucky listened though and he didn’t seem bored too, what a relief.

“Are you really sure about spending twelve hours just like this?” You asked, taking another sip from your second glass of mojito.

Bucky snickered, “We won’t be talking the entire night, did you really think I’d ask for your twelve hours just to talk?” He asked.

“What are you planning then?” You asked nervously.

Bucky offered you an amused smile, “Nothing illegal so stop worrying, pretty lady. I can see the gears in your head turning.” He said and leaned forward to smoothen out the crease in between your brows with his thumb.

“Come on, time to have fun.” He said and got up, offering you his hand.

You haven’t even recovered from how gentle Bucky was when he touched your forehead. And now here he was, standing over you with his tattooed arm extended, waiting for you to take his hand.

“I don’t bite.” He stated.

Letting out a sigh, you finished up your drink and stood up, slipping your hand into Bucky’s. He smiled at you, lifting your hand up to his face and pressing a kiss on it before winking.

“See? I told you, I don’t bite.”

You cleared your throat and pursed your lips, biting back a smile as Bucky tugged you as he walked out of the bar, keeping your hand in his the entire time. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all?

“Here.” Bucky said, handing you over his helmet.

It was then that you realized that he was about to give you a ride. On his motorcycle. The sirens in your head went off once again, bringing you back to your usual tensed state.

“Oh, no. Look, I know I said yes to your proposal but I’m not going to ride on that.” You disagreed and took a step back.

Bucky looked disappointed but shrugged anyway, placing the helmet back on the bike. “Fine. I’ll let you off this time, just because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Come with me.” He said and took your hand in his again as the both of you went back inside the bar.

He brought you towards the booth where the rest of his band were staying at. They all looked at you with smirks on their faces when Bucky introduced you to them.

“That’s Nat, our vocalist. Sam here is our drummer and Steve the bassist.” He said.

You gave them a polite smile and a quick wave. Bucky threw his keys over at Steve, who was supposed to be your type. Wanda thought so and you were just weirded out that you happen to be drawn towards Bucky instead.

“Hey punk, switch your car for my bike? Just for tonight.” Bucky said.

Steve looked so done with his request but shook his head in defeat as he fished his keys out of his pocket. He pointed at Bucky threateningly, “Don’t mess up my car, jerk. You know what I mean by that.” He said before throwing his own keys over at Bucky who caught it with ease.

“I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. Thanks, pal!” Bucky bid goodbyes and pulled you again before you could even say your own goodbyes to his bandmates.

Now, you were inside Steve’s car with Bucky and you were nervous as fuck. Although you did find it considerate of Bucky to borrow his friend’s car to make things comfortable for you. You were going to admit that, but it made your heart flutter. You mentally snorted at yourself because fuck, the bar is set pretty low alright.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bucky asked, noticing how you tensed up all of a sudden.

“Do we have rules?” You asked.

“This night is all about letting loose and the first thing you thought of are rules?” Bucky laughed.

“I’m about to spend the next twelve hours with a complete stranger, of course I’d be worried! What if—“

“Okay, calm down!” Bucky said, turning in his seat to face you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“If it’ll make you less tense then fine, I’ll come up with rules. Number one is to stop worrying.” Bucky said, rubbing your arms up and down and you were supposed to feel uncomfortable with the intimacy but you didn’t.

There was no malice to it and it made you panic all the more because ugh, Bucky was making you all soft and vulnerable around him. You could hear Wanda inside your head, commanding you to just calm down and go with the flow. You took in a deep breath and composed yourself.

“You gotta learn to trust people. I promise you, we won’t be getting in any trouble. I’ll take good care of you.” Bucky said, letting your arms go and tipping your chin so you’d look at him.

“Rule two, no what ifs. Just focus on the present, okay? If you keep worrying about what could happen, you’ll miss out on the now. Trust me, you wouldn’t want that.” Something about the change in Bucky’s eyes when he said that made you curious.

He was on to something, like he really meant it. You wanted to ask him about it, hell, you should start asking him for more information. If he wanted to get to know you better then you should attempt to do the same to him too.

“Last rule is to just enjoy. Like I said, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You trust me now?” Bucky asked with hopeful eyes.

The alarms in your head still kept going, but as you gazed back at Bucky, the softer they were becoming. You could feel yourself start to give in and you know what? It actually doesn’t sound so bad anymore. Maybe this would help with your attachment issues? This will probably teach you how to have fun with no attachments. Take things for what they are and just enjoy.

“Hey, will you trust me?” Bucky asked again.

“Yeah, yeah I will.”

-

1:15AM

Bucky took you to a hole in the wall open mic bar. It was a small place and everyone there seemed to know each other. And when Bucky arrived, everyone just greeted him and welcomed you there.

“You seem pretty popular here.” You told him as he led you to one of the seats near the makeshift stage.

“I spend a lot of time here.” He said and called over the guy by the bar.

“Hey Happy! Wanna introduce you to a special friend.” He said. The man approached your table and greeted you with a smile.

“Must be really special, you never bring anyone here.” Happy said, making you blush uncontrollably.

Bucky bit his lip as he turned to you, “Do you sing?” He asked.

You quickly shook your head, “Oh god, no. I don’t have the talent.” You said.

Happy chuckled, “That wouldn’t be a problem, trust me.” He reassured.

Bucky lifted an eyebrow at you, “Wanna go up there and sing with me?”

“Bucky, no.” You laughed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing that.”

“Come on, no one’s gonna judge you. Let loose, remember? And if anyone here laughs at you, I’ll be the first to punch them in the face.” He promised.

You thought for a while, keeping your eyes on Bucky. Fuck this. You called Happy and requested for a shot of tequila.

“That’s my girl! Just needs a little bit of liquid courage, huh?”

You snorted, “Oh that’s not for me. That’s for you. You’re gonna need it if you’ll be hearing me sing.”

You never performed in front of a crowd, well, back in high school maybe for some school plays. But hell, you were never the center of attention and whenever you had to be, you always experienced a panic attack. But now being on stage with Bucky behind you, playing the guitar as you sang (screeched actually), you’d never felt more alive and relaxed. True enough, no one cared about how off tune you were. In fact, you got a lot of cheers from the crowd.

2:45AM

“You hungry?” Bucky asked.

You couldn’t believe it, you’ve been singing on stage the entire time at the bar. You’d like to believe that it was probably the alcohol running in your veins, but you weren’t that drunk. Tipsy, maybe but definitely not drunk. It was fun, you were surprised at how much you enjoyed singing with Bucky and everybody else. You made a couple of new friends aside from Happy, talked to them and even exchanged numbers with a few. This was the most sociable you’ve ever been.

“I could use some carbs right now.” You laughed, wiping off the sweat on your forehead.

Bucky reached out to fix your hair, moving away the sweaty strands sticking onto your cheeks and tucking them behind your ear. He flashed you that oh so charming smile again and good god, Bucky was truly something else.

“Let’s get you something to eat.” He said.

Bucky drove to a 24-hour food truck somewhere. It was close to 3am but you didn’t feel exhausted, which was shocking given that you’ve been dying to go home a few hours ago before meeting Bucky and agreeing to go on an escapade with him. You could already hear Wanda squealing over the phone once you tell her everything.

The both of you ordered some soft tacos and sat on one of the benches beside the food truck.

“Enjoying so far?” Bucky asked with interest.

You nodded enthusiastically, your mouth full of food as you devoured your tacos. “Very much.” You admitted.

Bucky’s eyes crinkled as he laughed along with you, obviously pleased that you were enjoying yourself. Not long ago, twelve hours seemed a bit too long. Now, they felt too short. You could feel your brain begin to overthink what would happen once the the twelve hours are over, but you quickly shook them away and followed Bucky’s advice to focus on the present.

The two of you continued to talk as you ate. You discovered that Bucky and his bandmates go way back and that they’ve been performing since their days at the university. You also found out that Bucky’s last relationship ended six years ago and that he hasn’t dated anyone since then. You found out a lot of things about Bucky, most of which were far from your first impressions.

“Why’d your friend leave you at the bar?” Bucky asked, taking out a cigarette and putting it in his mouth.

You watched him with hazy eyes as he lighted the cigarette, puffing out a thin line of smoke with ease. You were always drawn to Bucky’s fingers and initially, it was because of the impure thoughts they made you think about. But more than that, they were the gentlest you’d ever seen.

“Probably to get me to have fun.” You responded, looking away timidly when Bucky noticed you staring at his hands.

“She’s gonna be very proud of you after this.” He said.

You nodded and breathed out a chuckle, “Oh, for sure.” You said before turning to Bucky. “Can I try?” You asked, motioning towards his cigarette.

“I haven’t smoked. Ever.” You admitted.

Bucky grinned and passed you the cigarette. “Go on.” He urged and kept his eyes on you as you brought the cigarette up to your lips.

The way Bucky watched you was intimidating in the sense that it felt intimate. It wasn’t like he was eye-fucking you or anything, his eyes were just too...expressive? They held a certain softness to them, a bit of sadness too when you look at it closely. They were the bluest, most beautiful color you’ve seen and they were captivating.

You ended up in a coughing fit from that first drag. Bucky chuckled and took the cigarette from your hand, patting your back as you continued to cough.

“Definitely not for me.” You frowned and took a sip from your iced tea.

“At least you tried. I’m proud of you.” Bucky said, the gentle pats on your back slowing down until his hand remained still.

“You good?” He asked again, sliding his hand lower until he reached the small of your back, but not low enough to make you uncomfortable.

You nodded, “What else is up in your sleeve?” You asked with interest.

“Well, I really wanted to take you on a ride on my bike but I guess that’s for next time.” Bucky confessed.

“Next time?” You asked and you tried not to be hopeful.

“Yeah, next time. We’ll do that next time.” Bucky said and he sounded so sure that you began to worry.

Will there really be a next time? At this point, Bucky could read you like an open book because he chuckled and pressed his thumb against the crease on your forehead again.

“You’re doing it again, whatever you’re worrying about just forget it for now.” He said, soothing out your crease before pinching your nose.

You scrunched your nose making Bucky lightly laugh. He checked the time on his phone and let out a sigh.

3:43AM

“Can I bring you back to my place?”

-

If you told Wanda that you ended up in Bucky’s place, she would freak out and ask for all the details. But no, you didn’t come home with Bucky for that reason. As he promised, it wasn’t his motive to get you into his bed and he seemed to be genuine about it.

Bucky lived in a small studio-type loft. It wasn’t the penthouse kind with the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. It was simple and minimalistic, with just a few pieces of furniture. What Bucky owned were a couple of guitars— different kinds of them, and an electric keyboard.

“It’s not much and I don’t even have a bed frame, I hope you won’t judge me for that.” Bucky said, scratching his neck as he led you inside.

“No, not at all. It’s very cozy in here, actually.” You said, looking around and taking in your surroundings.

Bucky had a lot of indoor plants, you definitely didn’t think of him as a plant guy. As you let your eyes wander, something white zoomed past your vision. A cat.

Bucky also owned a cat.

“This is Alpine.” Bucky said, picking up the feline and carrying it onto his shoulder.

As if Bucky and his plants didn’t make him attractive enough, he really had to own a white cat. You could feel yourself internally screaming about how you haven’t been seeing any red flags. If any, you’ve been seeing green flags pop out every now and then that it was pretty alarming. Strangely, the sirens in your head died down as if they’ve given up on warning you.

Or maybe, there was really nothing to warn about Bucky.

The cat purred and nuzzled its nose into Bucky’s neck and you couldn’t believe that you got jealous for a brief second. Oh, to be cat against Bucky’s chest.

“Feel free to look around, I’ll get you water.” He said, bringing Alpine with him into the kitchen.

You walked around his place and observed the surroundings. He was very organized, more than you actually. You could hear Bucky talk to Alpine and it was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

A couple of picture frames that sat on Bucky’s bedside table caught your eye. They were photos of him with his mom you assumed, and three more girls.

“Those are my mom and younger sisters.” Bucky said, appearing behind you with a glass of water.

You thanked him as you took the glass and sat down on his bed, “Where are they?” You asked before drinking.

Alpine jumped into your lap and purred, making Bucky laugh with delight as he sat next to you. His parents were back in his hometown together with his sisters. Bucky told you everything about his family and how close he was to his sisters, how they were supportive of him when he decided to become a musician. Then Bucky went on to showcase his guitar collection, telling you the lovely stories behind each of them. You could see how passionate Bucky was for his craft and it was a wonderful thing to witness. You were envious how Bucky pursued his passion, how he took huge risks to get to where he was now.

“And this is my favorite one.” Bucky said, taking a black electric guitar with him as he went back to sit down next to you.

“First one I bought with my own money. It’s old and doesn’t sound as nice as my newer ones, but I love it.” He said and started plucking at the strings.

Alpine hopped off from your lap and went to sleep onto his tiny little bed beside Bucky’s couch. You focused on Bucky’s fingers as he played the guitar. It took you back to the moment you saw him onstage, how those fingers made you wonder about certain things. They moved gracefully against the cords, plucking with ease producing the most wonderful music. You really needed to snap out of your filthy thoughts.

Bucky played the guitar for you, singing some lyrics once in a while. You noticed his tattoos again and stared a bit longer, trying to decipher each design wrapped around his arm. Some were huge, some intricate more than the rest. They were all of different designs but molded together so perfectly.

You had to admit, you didn’t find tattoos attractive before. But on Bucky, it looked like a masterpiece. He himself, was a piece of art with his chiseled jawline and steel blue eyes that made you feel at home.

“I’ve been meaning to ask...” you softly trailed.

Bucky hummed in response, his attention focused on his guitar as he continued to play.

“Your tattoos, do they mean something?” You asked.

“I got them to cover up the scars from an accident.” Bucky looked up at you.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” You quickly apologized.

Bucky smiled reassuringly, “It’s fine. It was a turning point for me.” He said, setting his guitar aside.

“It really puts things into perspective you know. I crashed my bike one night, I wasn’t drunk, mind you.” He chuckled. “It was pretty bad, my left arm suffered the most. I almost got decapitated but here I am. I got scars all over, really ugly scars so I had them covered up with a tattoo sleeve.” Bucky explained, extending his left arm and looking at it.

“For a while, I wasn’t able to play music. And I hated every second of it. Hated seeing the scars on my arm and how they reminded me of the accident. But you learn to live with it. At least I did, I learned to turn the negative into something positive.”

Now that he said that, you could actually see some of the scars beneath the ink. Bucky shrugged and continued with his story.

“The doctors said I was lucky that I didn’t die. Living my second life now, I realized that I gotta make the most out of it. Focus on the present and enjoy what comes your way. Take risks. Do what scares you.” He explained and now you understood.

You understood why Bucky appeared to be so laid-back and carefree, why he doesn’t worry a lot about the future. He almost lost his life so now he was living it to the fullest. He was living in the present, enjoying every second of it.

“Every time I see my tattoos, I get reminded of my second chance at life and how I shouldn’t waste it.” He said.

Bucky saw the look in your face, how guilty you looked from judging him right away. He took your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tipping it up to make you look at him.

“So when I noticed that bored pretty office girl in the audience checking me out, I didn’t waste the opportunity to get to know her. See where it goes, who knows if I’d still be alive tomorrow but at least I shoot my shot.” He said, making you chuckle.

Everything went still in that moment, your usually noisy mind included. Time seemed to have stopped as you gazed into Bucky’s eyes. Biting your lip, you gave in and totally let down your walls.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bucky asked, doing the same thing with his thumb, soothing the crease in between your brows.

This time, he didn’t take his hand back and allowed it to rest against your cheek before sliding down to your jaw and neck. His thumb began to caress the spot beneath your ear, waiting for you to respond to his question.

What Bucky got was more than just a simple response.

“Fuck it.” You whispered before pressing your lips onto Bucky’s.

All your life you played it safe— from your college course to your choice of career. You weren’t one to take risks either and whenever you needed to, they were always calculated. You did things carefully, making sure that you’d get the results you were expecting to save you from disappointment. The unknown scared you and so does uncertainty. You liked staying in your comfort zone but as much as you’ve been denying it, it was starting to get boring.

You also said you weren’t one to entertain a stranger, let alone hook-up with one. But then Bucky comes along with his long hair and tattooed arm, looking like trouble but bringing you none. You’d think that he just wanted to get into your pants but as he showered you with gentle kisses and feathery touches, you realized that Bucky might be different and that he was so much more than just the hot lead guitarist of a band.

Bucky’s calloused fingers perfectly contrasted the smooth expanse of your skin. They felt rough but remained gentle as they moved along your chest, as they danced along your back, as they stroked your inner walls. And his lips, they were tender and soft; they whispered nothing but promises and praises against your ear as your bodies moved in unison.

His eyes remained on you, taking all of your nakedness in, literally and figuratively. He watched you closely, with those blue eyes of his that always made you blush. Bucky’s eyes were truly mesmerizing, no matter how much you wanted to look away from embarrassment, you couldn’t. You felt trapped in those eyes, and you never want to leave.

And his left arm— you could feel the ridges of his scars as you let your hands feel his skin. But they weren’t ugly, didn’t feel weird against the pads of your fingers. His arm offered nothing but warmth and support when you reached your high and came crashing down. His arms caught you and protected you, his embrace was reassuring and it made you feel safe.

5:58AM

The city was quiet and the sun was barely up. Alpine was still curled up on his bed, sleeping. You were exhausted but satisfied and comfortable as you laid on your stomach, head turned and facing Bucky as you listened to him talk.

He was talking about his band’s first performance in college, laughing when he said that he almost threw up from being so nervous. Bucky had the softest voice in the wee hours of dawn, you loved listening to him. Lucky you, Bucky had been talking about anything and everything until the dark skies began to change its hues. He shared his dreams and his secrets and you admired him more and more.

“You should come to our rehearsals.” He suggested, letting a hand trace patterns on your bare back.

“Sounds nice.” You yawned, blinking your eyes in an attempt to keep them open.

“What do you want for brunch?” Bucky asked, almost mumbling from being half-asleep.

You hummed, “By the time we wake up, it might be close to dinner.” You joked.

“Breakfast food is way better during dinner. Want me to cook for you?” Bucky said before yawning.

Your eyes were lidded as you took in Bucky’s form. He was laying beside you, long hair messed up and lips swollen pink from kissing. He looked unreal as a sliver of sunlight managed to peek through his curtains, embracing his body with its warm glow. The sun was now fully up, witnessing the tender aftermath of your intimacy with Bucky as he reached out to brush his knuckle along your cheekbone.

“I’m surprised you can cook.” You said softly, close to falling asleep.

“I’m pretty good at it.” Bucky chuckled before leaning in to kiss your forehead.

“I’ll cook for you when we wake up.” 

Bucky’s soft lips against yours was the last thing you felt before sleep took over.

-

12:24PM

A soft purr paired with soft paws on his face stirred Bucky awake. He groaned at Alpine when she meowed right into his face. Must be feeding time, he thought.

Bucky gently moved Alpine aside and turned, only to be met by a cold, empty space beside him. He sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes before quickly scanning his apartment for you.

You were gone.

And judging by the cold sheets on your side of the bed, you’d left hours ago. Bucky sighed in disappointment as he got up, putting on his boxers and quickly checking the bathroom. He hoped you’d be there, but you weren’t.

You didn’t even leave a note.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He wanted to cook for you, really. He wanted to bring you to his band’s rehearsals, maybe even write a song for you.

He wanted more than twelve hours with you.

-

Wanda had been on your ass for days now. When you told her about your twelve hours with Bucky, she was happy and proud. By the time you got to the end of it, she was fuming and was close to actually physically hurting you.

She wouldn’t stop bugging you about it, demanding you to at least look Bucky up on Facebook or Instagram. Wanda believed that what you and Bucky shared that night was special, something real and not just a one-time thing.

You woke up that morning, feeling sore but happy. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach when you opened your eyes to the sight of Bucky sleeping peacefully beside you. He seemed to be dreaming, his brows creased and lips pursed.

Reaching out, you did what Bucky kept on doing to you whenever you were worrying. You pressed your thumb against his forehead, soothing out the crease as gentle as you could so as not to wake him up. Bucky stirred in his sleep and unconsciously took your hand in his, pressing a kiss onto your palm before falling back into his slumber.

And that’s when it started; the alarms in your head went off and they were the loudest they’ve ever been. You were almost deafened by it, your logic drowning beneath your panicked thoughts as you got up from bed. You dressed up in a hurry, grabbing your things and phone to book yourself a ride home. Alpine woke up and ran over to your legs, purring as if begging you not to go.

You refused to look back and went straight for the door.

One and a half week later, here you were still feeling like the most terrible person on the entire planet. You had searched for Bucky online, of course. You just didn’t tell Wanda that but it was the first thing that you did upon going home. There were instances when you were tempted to send him a DM, or add him up on Facebook but you never did. 

That one night with Bucky changed everything, it changed you. You immediately filed for a resignation, realizing that you were no longer happy working for the bank. It was a spur of the moment decision but you knew it was the right one. You didn’t even know where to apply next or what career to pursue. But you weren’t worried like you had expected to be.

Bucky taught you to take risks, to not fear the unknown because things will eventually fall into place. You felt good though, that you were slowly learning to step out of your comfort zone. But something was amiss and you knew what it was. Or who it was.

You just weren’t ready to admit it yet.

-

It was around nine in the evening when you went to the grocery store for a last minute shopping decision. Wanda was coming over for a movie night and apparently, you didn’t have any snacks left.

Finishing your list, you turned at the corner of an aisle and collided with somebody. Your apology died on your tongue when you looked up to see a familiar face.

Steve.

“Hi.” You softly greeted, wondering if he would even remember you.

He frowned at you and you were surprised that he remembered you and actually knew about that night.

“Why’d you leave Bucky just like that?” He asked right away.

You swallowed and avoided his gaze, “It was...it’s not a big deal. It was a one-time thing anyway.” You lied through your teeth.

Steve scoffed, “It didn’t seem like a one-time thing when Bucky came to our rehearsals the next day feeling bummed out.” He explained and sighed afterwards, shaking his head.

“Look, I’m in no position to interfere. I don’t know you and why you did that so who am I to judge? But I know Bucky. He isn’t what you think he is.” Steve said.

“I know.” You whispered.

“Then why’d you leave?” Steve asked again but didn’t wait for a response.

“Bucky may come off a little too strong, he’s straightforward and passionate. He gives it his all and that night with you...he gave everything. He was really hurt when you left.”

You were unable to speak because fuck, you messed up big time. You didn’t know that Bucky was going to feel that way when you left. You got scared and ran away even when there was nothing to be afraid of. Steve must have noticed your guilt and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“We’re playing tonight at the music bar. You have the chance to make things right.” Steve said and offered you a small smile before leaving.

You stood in the grocery store while in deep thoughts. Again, your mind was all kinds of messed up and your thoughts were fighting for dominance. There were sirens going on and off and fuck, it was all driving you insane. Your heart began to race when you felt an impending sense of doom wash over you. You were panicking and you were fighting so hard to calm your nerves.

And then you remembered Bucky that night and how he was quick to silence your brain with a simple yet comforting gesture.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

A thumb on your forehead to soothe your worries. Those steel blue eyes providing you comfort, and that charming smile that never failed to reassure you.

You quickly called Wanda.

“Movie night is cancelled!”

-

The dimly lit music bar welcomed you with a sense of familiarity. It had been more than a week since your encounter with Bucky and yet it felt like it was only yesterday.

Smiling to yourself, you remembered how tensed you were when Bucky first approached you. You were so defensive, you had your walls built up high but Bucky managed to bring them down. It didn’t even take him the full twelve hours to do so.

The music bar was full with no vacant spot near the stage. The current band just finished their song and was preparing to exit. You squeezed your way to the front, ignoring the complaints of people you slightly pushed away. A familiar voice greeted the crowd a good evening before introducing their band.

Your breath hitched when you spotted Bucky onstage. His hair was down and he was sporting a little bit of scruff. You watched him play his guitar but something was different. He wasn’t as passionate as he used to be, like he wasn’t focused. He almost looked like he didn’t want to be there. And his eyes, they were empty and void of any emotion. No mischievous glint in them, no nothing.

It broke your heart seeing Bucky like this, especially that you knew you were the reason for it.

It took a while for Bucky to look up and scan the crowd and when he finally did, his eyes immediately met yours.

Just like the first time, you felt your face heat up from the eye contact. Bucky was surprised to see you, you saw how his eyes widened at the sight of you. He was quick to recover though, he looked away and focused on playing the guitar instead.

As soon as his band exited the stage, you wasted no time to approach them. Steve greeted you with a nod before calling for Nat and Sam, asking for them accompany him to the bar to give you some privacy. Bucky refused to look at you as he gathered his stuff, preparing to leave.

“Can we talk?” You asked.

“I’m heading home.” Bucky curtly responded and brushed past you.

The tables have turned with you walking ahead of him to block his way.

“The night is young, stay a while and keep me company?” You used his line and Bucky was having none of it.

He scoffed and shook his head, “I’m surprised you remembered what I said. I mean, after you just disappeared I assumed you’d completely forgotten about that night.”

“I didn’t.” You told him. “Can we please talk?” You pleaded.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know, I really wanna go home.” He said.

Your hands balled into fists at your sides, “Give me twelve minutes.” You offered.

“Just twelve minutes of your time. Please, Bucky.”

-

The two of you stepped outside the bar for some silence. Bucky walked over to his bike, leaning against it as he looked at you coldly. Those eyes used to gaze at you with warmth, but now they were blank and cold.

“Time is ticking.” He said when you kept mum.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappear like that.” You said, looking down at your feet.

How else were you going to say your piece? You had practiced your speech on the way to the bar and now that Bucky was in front of you, you couldn’t even look at him from shame.

Bucky scoffed, “You asked me for twelve minutes and that’s all you’re gonna say? You’re sorry? Just that?” He bitterly chuckled, running a hand over his scruff.

“If you didn’t mean it then why did you leave? You left me without any warning. I honestly thought there was something between us. After everything that happened, how could you just walk away like that? You led me on, didn’t you?” Bucky angrily asked.

“I didn’t! I swear, I didn’t but I got scared!” You admitted.

“Scared of what?” He asked. “Scared of me? Because I’m not the kind of guy you usually go for? You really couldn’t get rid of that first impression, huh?” He said and turned around.

“That’s not the reason why. Everything scared me because that night was something else. You were too good to be true, Bucky! That’s what scared me!” You told him.

Bucky turned around, his brows creased, “What?”

When you woke up that morning, everything seemed perfect. The past twelve hours you had spent with Bucky were wonderful and you loved every second of it. You enjoyed too much and the thought of it being a one-time thing really broke your heart.

You had attachment issues and you thought that giving in to Bucky would help you learn to enjoy things as they were. But it didn’t and made it even worse because you got attached, so fucking attached.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of ending those twelve hours with a permanent goodbye so I left. You suddenly talked about next time and tomorrow and it was...it was overwhelming for me. My fear got the best of me because that night was too good. You were too good.”

Bucky’s expression softened after hearing your side. Now you felt stupid for overthinking things. It was selfish on your part to assume that those twelve hours meant nothing to Bucky.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized softly. “That night meant everything to me, Bucky. I just wasn’t ready to find out whether it meant the same to you.” You confessed with a sigh.

Bucky stayed quiet after your confession. You could feel your bile rising, you wanted to throw up. Hell, you wanted to just faint and forget about everything. If Bucky wouldn’t give you a second chance, you’d understand him. You did a pretty shitty thing to him anyway.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You lifted your gaze upon hearing that line. Bucky’s eyes had their warmth back and his expression was no longer stoic. He pushed himself away from his bike and approached you, reaching out to soothe the crease on your forehead.

“It’s not everyday that I find myself in the company of a stranger who made me feel things. I’ve always been a traditional one, I take things slow and I’ve been very careful. When I felt something during those twelve hours, I was caught off guard. I never felt so strongly for someone I just met and it was all new to me and I panicked.” You confessed.

“You were out of my comfort zone and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t mean to disappear like that, Bucky.”

You were met with pure silence after your admission. When you looked up at Bucky, you couldn’t read his expression. Thinking that he wasn’t buying your explanation, you let out a bitter chuckle and shrugged.

“I guess that’s it. Twelve minutes. No more no less. I just wanted you to know that, Bucky. And I’m really, really sorry.” You said and slowly backed away, ready to leave.

“Hey.” Bucky called out, approaching you.

“If I asked you to spend the next twelve hours with me again, where would you go after?” He asked.

Was this a test? You didn’t know how to respond and Bucky seemed to have caught up on that and let out a breathy chuckle.

“Will you stay until the morning this time?” He asked. “‘Cause I was pretty disappointed when I woke up to an empty bed. I had our brunch planned out, you know?”

The mischievous glint in Bucky’s eyes was back. You bit back a smile when Bucky cradled your head into his palm, thumb circling the skin on your neck.

You timidly nodded, tilting your head up to meet Bucky’s lips in a searing kiss that promised you another twelve hours together. And more.

“No more running off in the morning.”

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03 @its-yasbxtch @whoth3hellisbucky @5-seconds-of-mendes​ 

[pluviophile-imagines]

I have recently discovered your usurper!gojo au and it is the best thing I have ever read. I can’t tell you, how in love I am. It’s the most exquisite piece of fiction I’ve ever laid eyes on. I love it. I love au’s like this and gojo being the main character was the cherry on top for me.

THE PINING. THE YEARNING. THE COURTING. THE FLOWER CROWNS. THE KISSING IN THE GARDEN. YOU’RE RIGHT. I seriously enjoyed the fact that he put the mad in madly in love. You could not be more right.

The fact that he only shows his eyes in the privacy of their bedroom or when it’s just the two of them? I swooned. I want him. I want himmmmmm. This is the man I want. Honestly if this au was real, I would fit into it so well lmao.

He’s a menace with how much he loves. How hard he loves. I love how you didn’t make him tease the reader too much when he had locked her up in his room after the coup. It was just right and then he goddamn fell to his knees and you gripped me by the throat with that. You know what truly had me hook line and sinker? The fricking eye contact he held with her as he pointed his sword at his aunt. I. DIED. MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY AND CAME BACK. IT WAS AN EARTH SHATTERING MOMENT WHERE THEY BOTH KNEW THEIR LIVES WERE ABOUT TI CHANGE. Imagine seeing his pretty eyes after so many years. Do you think they fell for each just before he was supposedly assassinated or do you think it is something that started growing a little after so when he was alone and when she was grieving. I know you’ve mentioned the teasing hair pulling but if he was “assassinated” at around 17, was he a little more mature and realised he liked her or was be still being a menace and showed his love by teasing her? OMG I JUST REALISED, HE WAS STILL A MENACE WASNT HE. ALSO DID SHE KISS HIM ON THE LIPS WHEN HE HELD THE BOOK AWAY FROM HER? I love me a childhood friends/enemies(enemies only bcs he teased her so much) to lovers.

You did an amazing job at this plot line. Honestly, this au was a major throwback for me because I used to read romance books with this sort of storyline and I love this so much. Idk how to tell you how much I enjoyed reading everything you’ve put out about usurper!gojo and his queen. Also thank you. I could see myself in it. I really it enjoyed and I’m so grateful so thank you. I know it may not always be your intention to have readers be able to fit themselves into a storyline because it is after all your story but I’m happy that I was able to imagine myself in it. Thank you.

JDNDKENF TYSM ANON!!!! Omg this was the BEST ask to wake up to you’ve made my day… I’m so excited u like it this much. And omg I’m so happy you feel like you can project onto the reader like that!!!! I’m a big fan of capable & intelligent readers and usurper!gojo’s is definitely one of my favs, I rlly adore her

(I’m putting all of this under a read-more bc the initial ask is rlly long (thank you kith kith I love u) and then I Additionally rambled for way too long rip)

I Just mentioned this in another ask but Gojo is definitely going easy on the reader bc he rlly adores her and is So worried that he’ll lose her, so esp on that first night he’s trying v hard not to push her too far when it’s Already a tense and not ideal situation LMFAO he’s v much riding this high of actually being able to see her n (as he openly states) not deal with tracking her down after she’s fled to court her so there’s still a fair bit of teasing just bc he’s So Fucking Happy but also he wants her to be as happy as he is yk

Gojo’s eyes are in a way one of his most intimidating features! It’s implied in that initial blurb but I’ll say it outright, they’re considered a feature of royalty in the worldbuilding, something his family has passed down through generations. Great leaders r said to be born with those eyes. But he’s of the opinion that if he showed them off constantly people would get used to them and they wouldn’t have the same impact—he takes off the blindfold in front of the court when he really wants people to listen to what he has to say. Doesn’t need to do it v often, he already commands plenty of respect. Plus the whole thing the reader explains, hiding his true emotions n giving him a more effective poker face.

BUT with the reader he takes it off for a number of reasons! Firstly he doesn’t rlly care abt seeing anyone else clearly but the reader? No way is he missing out. Secondly he wants her to be able to see his emotions. Thirdly in a meta sense I just adore the idea of him taking off his metaphorical armor for her. And lastly well… he knows she thinks they’re pretty and he likes her reaction LMFAO

The kiss was on the lips LMFAO even at 14 he wasn’t fully expecting her to give him what he wanted but that’s like a running theme w the pair of them, her boundaries r actually a lot more lenient than either of them think they are 😭😭😭 in Flower Crowns he says their final kiss in that fic is her first time kissing him but that’s bc he doesn’t count that book incident! He actually feels guilty abt it, looking back he thinks he was leveraging his power as the crown prince to force her to give in and he doesn’t like that. She just disagrees, and Shortcake Crumbs is from her POV so there u go. Other than that incident they kiss only one other time in their childhood and I plan to elaborate on that in the future 👁👁

Gojo and the reader were deffo in love when they were kids tho. The thing is they were also certain that they’d never be together. The reader rlly is just too low on the social hierarchy for his parents to have allowed it. So they never officially courted or considered each other for marriage and they never explicitly confessed or anything but. It Was There pfft and esp looking back both gojo and the reader know it (from both of their POVs we see this, even from the initial blurb I wrote). When they’re younger it’s less intense but that summer when they’re both 14 kinda marks when they’re becoming teens/young adults and that puppy love is becoming deeper.

ultimately, though I haven’t mentioned it in the fics, it’s also the reason reader’s parents send her off for schooling. If u recall she’s gone when his “assassination” happens; it was starting to unfold such that gojo was going to ascend to the throne when he was younger than 20 and his dying parents’ advisors basically went “if he becomes king when he’s still young and infatuated with this nobody noble then he’s gonna make her queen we can’t let that happen” so they essentially strong armed the reader’s family into sending her away in an effort to nip it in the bud. Ofc the rest of gojo’s family then decided to off his parents and him, and failed, and all of that got thrown to the wind bc he came back stronger and more reckless than before LMFAOOOO

I touch upon this a little in Flower Crowns but before the “assassination” he’s v much this spoiled brat and actually much more susceptible to giving in to what his advisors tell him to do. Then he has to rough it for a good decade learning to fight and lead and preparing to take back the throne, and he comes back with no shits to give—he’s gonna have his kingdom and he’s gonna have his queen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him bc he rlly is a fucking beast. And even more terrifying w the reader by his side bc she’s as capable socially/politically as he is with a sword. Real power couple shit skdnksdb

But point being there’s v much a dichotomy between his younger self and his older self—ten years is a LONG time and he’s matured a LOT. He absolutely was a menace right up until she gets sent away. He was relentless w it, and I think there were very few moments where he was sweet to her without any kind of pigtail pulling attached (yes on up until he was 17) and in fact her being around him as an adult brings some of that energy back to the surface too. She makes him feel a little like a kid again, the way he was back before it all went to shit 🥺

N e way. There u go! A lot of meta stuff for u bc this ask was so amazing to get ♥️ I hope you like it!