#but your laptop is old and has no RAM left so its slow as fuck and none of the exit buttons work because you cant move the cursor

[little-red-fool]

God I wish my brain would just shut the fuck up this thing is a YAPPER I don’t CARE.

[kee-writestrashh]

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

ao3

Summary:  You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events…

Chapter 29: Leavin’ on a Jet Plane

"Do you have any idea how nice it is to wear fucking sweats and a tee and just lay the fuck in bed?" You yawned, stretching and curling up in a ball under the covers.

Kira simply scratched her ear, her collar and tags clinking noisily.

The morning had been slow, and very comfortable. Outside of bathroom breaks you hadn't been out of bed since Ramsay had left for work at seven.

Your phone vibrated from somewhere in the tangle of blankets and sheet.

You dug around until you found your phone under Ramsay's pillow.

[Rams: what are you doing?]

[you: laying in bed. you?]

[Rams: thinking about fucking you. send nudes.]

Your face warmed as you reread the message.

[You: I suppose I can do that. I need to get around anyways....]

You slid out of bed, stretching again, and stepping into the closet and pulling your most casual clothes free of their hooks.

Ripped jeans, grey tank, and a soft flannel. Ramsay liked to call the look "boot scootin boogie". Or when you paired it with your leather jacket he called it "Winchester Whore".

After sending a handful of pictures and going through your shower and make up routine it was almost time for you to meet with Whit and Jared.

You had given them the address to a hole in the wall BBQ joint in a less desirable part of town. But you figured it wouldn't be overwhelming or make you too noticeable. You knew how to blend in, comfortably.

You sat, waiting at a stoplight when you saw something that made your pulse quicken.

You immediately made a blind grab for your phone and dialing your husband.

'Yes, baby girl?' He said, almost bored like.

"Baby, I'm on my way to meet Whit and Jared, right? And I'm sitting here at the stoplight. I look over and two guys catch my eye. They're exchanging hushed whispers and firm handshake, kay? Then I look closely and it's Robb Stark and your father!" you said, the words tumbling over one another so quickly it all almost came out on one breath.

Ramsay said nothing, but you could hear his pen click furiously.

"Baby?"

'Yeah, yeah. What are you driving?'

"The 'Stang today." You said, glancing in the side view mirror. Both men were gone.

'Ping me your address and I will be there as soon as I can. Do not engage in anything without me. Do you understand?'

"Um, yes sir?" You said, unsure what he meant. Roose Bolton's peculiar behavior recently was too much for you to want to snoop into. You were already walking on egg shells, and apparently your second strike.

Ramsay hung up without another word and continued your way to lunch. You parked next to a jacked up truck, that was dirty and caked in mud. It didn't scream 'city boy wanna be country'. So it could only be Jared's truck.

You sent Ramsay the address and stepped out of the car.

Whit and Jared were leaning against restaurant wall, smoking and both smiled warmly when you approached. You couldn't help but grin at Jared in his damn cowboy hat, and Whit in her flashy square toed boots.

"Truck could do with a hose down." You chuckled, hugging them both.

"What's the point? With all the snow melting and refreezing, no amount of washing will make a difference until summer." Jared shrugged, flicking his cigarette away from him and opening the door for you and Whit, taking his hat off.

Walking in was like stepping through a portal to home. Smoke, beer, the smell of frying foods... it was... heaven.

"Sit anywhere and your waiter will be with you shortly." A woman said, clearing the table closest to you.

You chose a booth by the window, where you could keep an eye on the door and everything else around you.

A young man set menus down in front of you and set down the cutlery.

"Drinks?" He said when he had finished.

"Sweet teas all around." You said, immersed in the menu.

"You guys. They have fried catfish! And cornbread!" You almost squealed, looking up from the menu.

Whit raised her brows at you, "You don't eat cornbread anymore?"

You shrugged, "I just haven't bought the shit to make it. Burgers, tacos, and pizza is about as far as Rams goes in clogged arteries."

"City folks. They're a strange lot." Jared said, nodding wisely.

You snorted, rolling your eyes. "So, how are you guys? I mean... y'all have been together since junior year, work as a team, have a beautiful little girl..."

Whit laughed, "Oh ya know. Cattle prods work real well. We are just the same as when you left. Just older now. It's you who has the most change. Tell me about this child your mother won't quit bragging about."

You shrugged, "not much to say yet. Just turned fourteen weeks. We find out the gender on February twenty-first. Which is part of the reason I asked y'all here. We have a lot of work to do before then and quickly running out if time."

Both your friends stiffened slightly, showing you had their full attention and confidence.

"What's up?" Jared asked, leaning forward slightly.

You made to open your mouth when Whit shook her head, looking past you as the waiter came back with your drinks and to take your orders.

You waited a few moments after he left before finally speaking.

"My husband's life is in danger and it all hangs on to what the little one inside of me is. I have six weeks to set up a safe plan and find a way to keep my husband alive." You said quietly.

Whit chewed her lip and Jared watched you closely.

"We will do what we can. He's your family, which makes him just as much ours. Just say the word and we will make it happen." Jared said with a stiff nod.

A surge of deep gratitude flooded you as you looked at the two people in front of you. You knew the words were sincere and they would do anything they could for you.

You gave a sniff and smiled, "but those details will be worked out at a later time. I came here to enjoy lunch with my two best friends. There is plenty of time later to talk about that. But, first order of business. I need y'all to find someone to help dad keep up the farm. He's having surgery soon. Putting in a pacemaker. And he won't be able to get around for awhile. Said person will be paid well. I've made sure of that."

"Too easy. Sure there are a couple of Ag kids who'd love to help." Whit said. "Take it the old man is okay?"

"More or less. Pissed he's getting old. And y'all know mom. Fussing over him like a newborn calf." You said, sipping your drink.

"How she keeps up with him I will never know." Whit laughed.

Her words made you realize just how much like your mother you were.

Dad had always been wild and in trouble one way or another. No, not with the law, but usually physically injured. Smashed his hand working on a tractor. Wrapped up in fencing. Kicked by a horse, more times than you could even count anymore. He was a big book of cataloged accidents.

And then there was Mom. Patient and headstrong, and so very quick tempered. She kept your father together and alive, more often than not. She was firm, and yet the most loving person you had ever known. She was the true foundation of your crazy family. And she made it look so easy. How she managed to pull off Thanksgiving dinner and get your father to the ER after a hunting accident when you were 13, you never knew.

Maybe you took a bit more after your father's recklessness, but you had your mother's spine, and quick temper.

You grinned to yourself, "oh! Before I forget! Guess who's living here now?"

Jared and Whit both raised their brows, waiting for your answer.

"E! Little shit gets a PCS here, and doesn't tell anyone until he fucking shows up. Rams and I took him out last night. And I tell you what... He's not a boy anymore."

"And what did we do?" Ramsay spoke up, sliding into the booth beside you and running his eyes over the restaurant.

"Took the brother out lastnight." You said, with a smile, as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

"Had a blast. Damon made sure they got back safely. Apparently not as lightweight as we thought." Ramsay said, eyeing your food as it was set in front of you. "The fuck is that?"

You looked from food to husband and laughed.

"Cornbread, a hushpuppy, fries, and fried catfish."

Ramsay pulled a face of disgust.

"Try it. I promise there is nothing better than a good fried catfish basket." You urged, pulling a piece of fish from its fillet and holding it out to your husband.

"You do know I'm allergic to seafood, right?" He said, giving you a cold look.

You knitted your brows, "Are you really?"

"Keys." He said, taking the food from you.

"Huh?" You said watching him place the catfish in his mouth.

He reached over you, snatched up your keys and stood up.

"Ride home with them. Take the back way. I'll meet you at home."

He looked down at you, swiped more fish from your basket and walked off.

"Wait! You seriously aren't allergic to fish are you?!" You called.

He turned to you with his trademark smirk, "guess you'll just have to find out. Love you baby doll."

"I... I love you too." You said, watching him leave.

You looked at Whit and Jared.

"Nah. He's not." Jared said, with a chuckle, tearing into his plate of ribs.

It took so much longer to get home when you had to basically skirt the damn city.

"I have two dogs. Kira and Willow. They look mean, but I promise they are pussies." You said, walking up the stairs and hoping Ramsay was home since he had your keys.

You turned the knob. At least he was nice enough to remember to leave the door open for you as you walked inside.

"So you're a liar." You said, raising your brow.

Ramsay laughed, looking up from his laptop and giving you a wink.

"The best there is."

You rolled your eyes and sat on the couch, nodding at the sofa across from you. Whit and Jared both sat. Whit almost lost it when Kira and Willow came to be nosey.

"Oh my god! They are so pretty!" She said excitedly, sliding from the couch to her knees to rub all over them.

Whit was a dog fanatic. You were sure she would have 500 if Jared let her.

Ramsay crossed the room and disappeared down the hall. No one spoke until he came back and dropped a file folder on the coffee table.

"You two are now employed with a local coffee shop. You bring in coffee bean shipments via air." Ramsay said as Jared pulled the folder open and thumb through the papers.

"You looked us up? And my alias is Johnny Reb?" Jared asked, raising a brow.

"Just a minor background check. Your boots gave me the impression you listen to Johnny Horton, Honky Tonk Man." Ramsay shrugged, leaning back into his seat, resting his hand on your thigh and lighting a cigarette.

"You're a funny dude." Jared laughed, "and look, I get to travel with Percilla."

"So, what exactly are we doing? I mean, this is...?" Whit said, looking up from the dogs, at a loss for words.

"I told you, you're running coffee beans." Your husband shrugged.

Jared snorted, pulling his passport from the folder and examining it.

"But really. Need to be on the same page, babe." You spoke up.

"Okay, listen, and listen good. Because I'm only saying it once. In a few days you will get an address to an airstrip. Once a week you will fly to this strip and cargo will be loaded. Everything will already be packaged and sealed in the beans. If you don't lose your heads no one will ever be the wiser. After picking up the shipments you will deliver it to the designated area here in the city. After that you're free to go. The goods will be taken care of upon arrival. Simple enough."

"Right. Simple enough. And should something go wrong?" Whit asked, now taking her turn to look through the folder. "Oh! That reminds me..." she dug through her bag, pulling out a file folder a sliding it across the table, "Sharon got what you asked for."

"If something goes wrong, you will be taken care of. You are under my services, and I protect those that work for me. Nothing bad will happen as long as you don't let it happen." Ramsay shrugged.

You opened the folder, looking at all the vacant and foreclosed properties.

"Wow, so many places just left to rot." You murmured, looking up at Jared and Whit.

"Our town is dying. Cost of livin' is too high for the old folks, and young kids out of high school." Jared said giving you a sad smile.

"I'm buying it all." You declared, giving your husband a look and handing him the folder, "I'll let you do the buying and scheming. But we are buying it all. Build some businesses or something. Maybe build a safe house."

×××

"I'm starving." You whined, flipping through the pages of the outdated magazine.

"Shut up. You just ate like an hour ago." Ramsay tutted, staring at the ceiling.

"They need to hurry up. I have to pee." You groaned, fidgeting in your seat.

"What do I need to do to make you quit the insufferable bitching?" He hissed.

"Tell me what my surprise is." You said slyly.

Ramsay clucked in annoyance, "No. And if you don't quit asking I will do it all on my own. You're only getting the surprise because I love you."

"Fine." You huffed, pouting at him.

When your name was called you almost jumped up, ready to have all your vitals taken so they could give you the damn cup so you could finally empty your bladder that seemed to have shrunk to the size of a kitten's.

When the doctor entered you were slightly taken aback it wasn't Doctor Cat. But then you remembered... Ned Stark was her husband. And her eldest daughter was still missing. Poor woman. You really liked her.

"I'm Doctor Mordane. I'm filling in for Doctor Stark until she gets back." The old woman said with a sad smile.

"How is she?" You asked, sitting on the edge of the examination bed. Ramsay tutted from his chair. You gave him a dirty look.

"Pretty rough. But she's a strong woman. Anyways, looking at your file here I see you are almost fifteen weeks along. Weight is good. Everything else checks out good. Any complaints or concerns?"

You shook your head, "No ma'am. I seem to be adjusting just fine."

The woman smiled, "good good. Keep taking your vitamins. We will take a quick listen to the heartbeat and you're free to go."

Hearing the tiny heartbeat made your chest tight. Every single time. This time you didn't even bother to try and hold back the tear that escaped you.

"Surprise time?" You asked, smiling at your husband as he closed your door.

"Sort of." He smirked.

"What does that even mean?" You huffed, crossing your arms.

Ramsay said no more until he parked the car in the parking garage of the airport.

"What are we doing?" You asked, following in his wake.

Again he said nothing. You asked no more questions until you stood outside the doors of the airport.

There stood Damon. He exchanged two bags for Ramsay's keys.

"Before you say anything, I know. Scratch her you'll flay me." Damon chuckled, pocketing the keys. "Have fun. See you when you get back." He gave you both a nod and left.

Ramsay took your hand and led you inside. He exchanged a few words and some cash with a TSA man and both of you were boarding a plane a few short minutes later.

"Rams, where are we going?"

"Hush. Take a nap. It will be awhile." He said, stowing the two bags away and taking his seat beside you.

"If I blow you on this plane will you tell me?" You asked, flashing a mischievous grin.

"Nah. But you're gunna blow me anyways." He smirked.

"I will not." You said, crossing your arms and looking away from him.

"I will choke you out and make you sleep the whole damn ride if you don't quit, little pet." He said very quietly.

"What's wrong? Why are you so damn irritable today?" You said, giving him a soft look.

"I don't like flying." He replied shortly.

You suppressed a snort but were unable to to keep the words from falling from your mouth, "You're afraid!"

He took a deep breath and forced a smile, "No. I didn't say I'm afraid of flying. I said I didn't fucking like it."

"Mhm. Right. Completely different. What was I thinking?" You said with a sly grin.

"Do you have any idea how easy it would be to snap your fucking neck and make it look like you're sleeping until I get off this damn plane?" He hissed exasperatedly, struggling with himself to remain calm.

"Probably pretty easy. But I'd be rather boring company dead." You winked, resting your hand on his thigh and giving a tight squeeze.

He gave you a very long look, gave a smirk, and placed his hand in your inner thigh.

"Why are we like... economy class?" You asked, glancing around at the people filling the seats around you.

Ramsay shrugged, "Why not?"

You played with Ramsay's hand, absentmindedly, as the plane prepared for flight.

You watched Ramsay closely. If he really was afraid of flying, he hid it very well.

"Nonstop?" You asked, looking out the window at the tiny square patches of earth bellow you.

"Nonstop." He replied, glancing at you.

You pulled your phone out of your purse, "wanna play a game?"

"No."

You tutted, "Yes you do. You love games."

"I like games that I win. Games that cause other people to beg and die." He said simply, as if it settled the matter.

"Well I like games that let me get to really know you. So, I'm going to ask questions and you're going to answer."

He groaned, "not this again."

"Every time you don't answer or skip the question you will be punished." You said, squeezing his thigh again.

"Does it result with my dick in your mouth?" He whispered.

You shrugged, "maybe, if you're a good boy. Question one, if you could have a theme song, what would it be?"

He stared at the back of the chair in front of him, chewing his lip, "I don't know."

You dug your nails into his leg.

"Thriller or something." He hissed.

You released him and gave a laugh. "Thriller? Like MJ Thriller?"

"Yeah. Why not? It's catchy." He shrugged, taking his jacket off.

"I can't even take you seriously anymore." You giggled, leaning over to kiss him.

"Well that's a bad move on you, baby girl. I'm to be taken very seriously." He smirked against your lips as he took your face in his hands.

"Or maybe you just put on a mean face and deep down you're good as gold. Just have a rather pushy demon in there."

He snorted and pulled away from you, "going to perform an exorcism?"

"Mm, no. I think I'm in love with the devil."  You said airily, with a sigh.

"Show me how much you love me then." He countered with his wicked grin.

"I have a devil spawn growing inside of me, is that not love enough?" You winked, unfastening your seatbelt and pushing your body into his as you slid past him.

You gave him a mischievous grin, walking rather suggestively down the aisle.

Wow, plane bathrooms were tiny. This was not going to be comfortable. At least you weren't super pregnant fat yet.

You only had to wait a moment before Ramsay was climbing in the tiny room with you.

"I don't know if this will work." You whispered.

"Make it." He said, leaning back against the wall.

You glanced around, set the toilet seat down, and grabbed his hips, pulling him into you.

"Make it quick?" You asked, unbuckling his belt and sliding his button from its hole.

"That all depends on you, baby girl." He said helping you pushing his pants down.

"You know, you are the worst influence I have ever come to know." You said, resting your forehead against his warm stomach.

"Maybe you're the bad influence on me." He chuckled, gripping your hair tightly.

You licked your lips and took him in your mouth, letting his guide you.

You dug your nails into his legs as warm desire built inside of you. But there was no returning the favor in this damn bathroom.

You ran your tongue along him, tasting him as his grip in your hair tightened and he ran his other hand over your chest, grabbing at your skin.

His breathing became shallow as you lightly drug your teeth along him, swirling your tongue over his tip.

He made a small noise in the back of his throat, grabbing at you harder as he filled your mouth.

You slowly sucked him, feeling him throb against your tongue.

You swallowed and pulled away from him completely.

"Well that was quick." You laughed.

"Eh, thrill of getting a blow job at fifty thousand feet." He chuckled, fixing his pants and opening the door.

He grabbed your hand and led you back to your seat.

×××

You held Ramsay's hand tight as he pulled you along through the airport. You could see the sun a brilliant red as it sank lower over the horizon.

Ramsay stopped at a counter and hand a man behind it two passports. He glanced them over and then eyed you both.

"Welcome. What brings such a lovely couple to our beautiful country?" The man said in very rough, choppy English.

"Drugs." Ramsay replied with a small shrug and his most charming smile.

You gave a wide eyed side long look your husband and wanted to vanish as you felt your cheeks burn.

Did he seriously just fucking say that?!

The man cracked a grin and let out a loud laugh after a few tense moments, "You señor are very funny man. Enjoy your vacation."  He handed the passports back to Ramsay who slipped them in his back pocket and tugged you along again.

"I can't believe you!" You cried in a small strangled voice.

Ramsay stopped abruptly, placed a hand on your shoulder and turned you to the highly polished, darkening window.

"Look at us and tell me what you see?"

You Looked at your reflections and sighed, "I see a husband and wife on vacation."

"Exactly, baby girl. As far as anyone knows we are taking a late winter vacation to escape the cold. We're here to sip mojitos, soak up the sun, and eat avocados, or whatever." He said, gripping your hand tightly and pulling you along.

"Eat avocados." You snorted with a giggle as you stepped out of the airport.

The warm breeze melting you into a bliss. Warm evenings. God, how you missed the warm weather.

"Journey okay?" Oberyn Martell asked, sidling up to you and Ramsay.

You were shocked only a moment. It all made sense now. You were here so the deal with the Martell's could be finished and sealed.

"Long." Ramsay said, sounding rather weary as Oberyn lead the way to a limo.

Ramsay helped you climb in, took his seat beside you, and pulled you as close as possible as Oberyn situated himself.

"The girls are most excited to take you shopping, (y/n)." Oberyn smiled, offering Ramsay a drink, who eagerly accepted. "Your room has been accommodated and food prepared. We will get down to business tomorrow after you both have rested."

"Food sounds wonderful." You sighed, resting your head on Ramsay's shoulder and closing your eyes briefly.

Or you thought it to have been brief. Next thing you knew Ramsay nudging you to wake up.

You sat up and were taken aback by the beautiful white stone mansion and it's many elegant balconies overlooking the white sand beach and crystal clear ocean.

It was probably the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, apart from last trip you had taken with Ramsay to a warm cabin surrounded by large aspens and evergreens in the shadows of the harsh, unforgiving snow covered mountains.

Tyene rushed you as you climed out of the limo behind Ramsay.

You hugged her back tightly.

"I am so glad you both came!" She smiled, looping her arm around yours and leading you inside.

"This place is absolutely beautiful." You exclaimed, taking in everything from the marble floors to shimmering crystal chandeliers, and the elegant imported rugs.

Tyene smiled brightly, "my uncle likes to be extra."

"Well, at least he has good taste?" You laughed, climbing the spiral staircase.

Tyene stopped in front of a door and stepped aside so you could enter.

"One of the best views in the house. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Rest easy, (y/n). Tomorrow I am taking you to town. You will love it!" Tyene said, leaving you alone in the lavish room.

So much better than any high end, five star hotel resort. You thought, taking everything in and realizing Ramsay wasn't with you.

You frowned slightly, but the table laden with food caught your very hungry attention. You sat at the table and pulled the nearest dish towards you. You had no idea what to call it, as it was sweet, and spicy, and salty, and definitely meat... but whatever it was it was damn good.

A warm, night breeze blew in from the open balcony door and the sound of the ocean made you drowsy.

Ramsay entered the room a shirt while later after you had already stripped you clothing and climbed into the soft sheets.

"You good?" You asked, peeking over the top of the blanket at him.

His face softened slightly as he turned his gaze to you, "of course."

You pushed back into the plush bed, falling asleep almost at once.