#but you didnt see or hear from the 3rd generation much in the movie

[tinseltina]

Tina Reviews: "Practical Magic" by Alice Hoffman

i havent finished the book yet (i'm a bit past the halfway mark in the Levitation section) and i knew it wasn't going to be EXACTLY like the movie. And honestly i only LIKE the movie, not love it. but MY GOSH THIS IS A LOAD OF SCHLOCK!

1st off this book is less an "urban fantasy" and is more of a "supernatural" story, Weird stuff happens regardless if a character does anything deliberately to effect a change or not. Could be that considered magic? sure, but this sort of happenstance is more common in supernatural stories than urban fantasies where people do magic ON PURPOSE or magical fantasy creatures EXIST. the most magical part of this story are how everyone falls in love (or lust if you wanna be accurate) with gillian at first sight, and the aunts may be actual witches but they aren't actually focused on at all and barely actually talk. There isn't a lot of dialogue in this book, a lot of it is just the author describing things with occasional quotes or bits of dialogue if an event is unfolding in that moment.

2. everyone is a dumb*ss in the way hallmark movies are full of dumb*sses. the central theme the author has chosen to explain all this dumb*ssery is "love". love makes you do crazy things, love makes you stupid, love draws you towards who you'd least expect, blah blah blah. NO ONE IS THIS BIG OF AN IDIOT. No wait, that's unfair to a sizable population of the world. NOT EVERYONE is this big of an idiot, and I'm surprised one family alone can be full of them.

Gillian being a moron makes sense, she even feels guilty when confronted with how much of an absolute trash pile her dead ex was and how she fell for his manipulation and lies and all that. SHE makes sense. She's a pretty woman who was never told 'no' by anyone she truly respected, and was horribly mistreated in a town that she was too afraid and resentful to ever return to. Being flighty and eventually stuck in an abusive relationship, that all checks out to me.

it's everyone else that dumbfounds me. the lack of bodily autonomy (everyone is so HORNY all the time. but this book isn't smutty, there is a lot(?) of reference to sex and desire but nothing graphic) is just so frustrating. it's weird to see it happening EVERYWHERE. i'm half convinced this is actually a story about a colony of secret bunny-people-hybrids made by the government to see how quickly they could repopulate the earth if needed.

but we'll see how the book ends before i give my final review 😅

[brelione]

Wish I Was Sarah PT.1(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Kiara had first met you 3rd of December.You had been at a party,a christmas party to be specific.You were a kook which meant your parents forced you to go to all the big mansion parties all the time.All of the big ones were there,Sarah Cameron,Topper Thornton,Rafe Cameron,Kiara Carrera.All of them.

You had worn a sweater over a simple t shirt,too lazy to put on a dress like all the others.Your parents were just glad that you had agreed to make an appearance even if you looked like shit.You had sat in the corner of the couch,earbuds in.You were listening to Sweater Weather,thinking it was funny because you were,in fact,wearing a sweater.

Kiara had stood at the snack table for a while,holding a disgusting monstrosity of a cookie,debating on picking off the sprinkles and throwing them away.She had never really been a fan of sprinkles.She had glanced around the crowds,the moms talking as they ate cheese cubes,the dads talking as they drank beers and wine,the other teens probably getting high up in the bathroom.Then her eyes fell on you.

She felt her face heat up immediately,staring at you for a while.You were underdressed for the occasion,your earbuds in as you sat curled up on the couch,seeming tired of being there.She debated herself in her head,trying to decide whether to approach you or not.Eventually she gave in,walking across the room with fake confidence,sitting down next to you.She watched as you tensed up,your eyes going wide,your bottom lip between your teeth,wondering what she wanted.

You pulled out an earbud,looking up at the beautiful girl that had decided to sit next to you of all places. “Hey.”She smiled,holding out her hand to you. “Im Kiara.”She introduced herself.You pulled out your other earbud,a small grin on your face. “Hi.Im (Y/N).”You shook her hand,feeling your face heat up a bit. “So um….yeah.What song were you listening to?”She asked,trying not to laugh at how dumb she sounded.You showed her your phone,finding yourself moving closer to her on the couch. “You like Frozen ll a lot.”She laughed,watching you scroll through the playlist.

You nodded,handing her an earbud to make her listen to Lost In The Woods. “Ive never seen Frozen ll.”She admitted,watching as your jaw dropped and your eyes widened. “Kiara!Oh my god-whats wrong with you?”Your voice became higher as you talked,your hand covering your mouth.She laughed at you,shrugging. “Wait,have you seen the first one?”You asked.She nodded,watching as a look of relief came across your face. “Okay,did you like it?”You asked.She shrugged once again,smiling at your enthusiasm. 

“The second one is better I promise.”You answered.She rolled her eyes,leaning back against the couch. “Im serious!The soundtrack,the animation everything is so much better!”You exclaimed,shaking your phone as you spoke.She nodded. “Yeah,whatever you say.”She replied,watching as you tried to convince her. “You have to watch it!Please?”You pouted.She nodded,making you clap your hands in excitement as you went into your disney plus app.She watched as you scrolled through the movies,a big grin on your face because you had easily defeated her.

 “Its so cold in here.Who puts air conditioning on in december?”She complained out loud.You handed her your phone for a moment,not hesitating to pull off your sweater and hand it to her. “That’s pretty warm.”You told her,not really thinking about it.Her face turned red,biting her bottom lip as she held back a smile.

She had originally regretted her wardrobe choice of a green dress,the fabric light and flowy,her arms exposed which caused goosebumps to rise across her caramel skin.She didnt regret it now though as she pulled on your sweater,the warm fabric making the goosebumps go away.Her heart was thumping as you moved incredibly close to her,handing her an earbud and holding your phone in front of the two of you.

As you reached the point of Into The Unknown it was announced that dinner was ready,ham,turkey,potatoes,corn,rolls,pretty much everything imaginable.It disgusted you that you all had a feast of expensive,high quality food while people in The Cut were lucky to have a meal a day.The adults called the other teens downstairs for the meal and you promised Kiara that you’d finish watching it after.You two decided to sit next to eachother at the table,your sweater still on her.

She offered it back to you,saying that she didnt want to get food on it but you told her that it was fine and that it looked better on her anyways. “So the movie...what do you think about it so far?”You had asked softly as Kelce and Topper came down the stairs. “Its good.Its good,like you said,better than the first for sure.”She nodded,eyebrows furrowing when she noticed your eyes falling away from her and towards someone walking down the stairs.Sarah fucking Cameron.The blonde was wearing a nice,light grey dress that looked amazing on her figure,her hair in pretty braids.

Kiara saw the look in your eyes,the way they were full of wonder,mesmorized by Sarah Cameron.She felt like dying,like being eaten up by a black hole as she wondered how she could be so stupid.She had thought that maybe you were interested in her but it was probably because she had been the only girl there.Now that Sarah was here she would be lucky if she could get your attention back again. 

“So what do you think of the theory about Elsa?”She asked,glaring at Sarah.Your face heated up,taking your eyes off of the pretty blonde and back to Kiara. “What theory?”You asked,glancing over at Sarah every couple of moments.Kiara tried to hide her anger,covering it with a small grin. “The one about her being a lesbian.What do you think of it?”She asked,trying to learn more about you and if she even had a chance.You bit your lip,looking over at the plate of biscuits. 

“I mean,I think at this point we all just want representation in disney and in like,media in general but I dont think Elsa is a lesbian.I feel like she might be aromantic or maybe...well,I dont really know.There’s nothing-well,you know she actual might be a lesbian,”You paused,leaning forward to grab a biscuit and put it on your plate. 

“There’s this one scene in Frozen ll,ill point it out to you that has like vibes to it.But then again just because she doesnt have a male love interest doesnt exactly mean she’s a lesbian.Moana and Merida didnt have guys that they were in love with but that doesnt mean they’re lesbians.Merida might be a lesbian,have you seen how good she is in nature and cooking fish in the wild?And how she knew those berries were poison?Thats some cottage core lesbian shit.What was I talking about?”you asked,realising you had gotten caught up in the topic and had forgotten the original question.

Kiara smiled,glad to hear you speak so passionately about something. “If Elsa is a lesbian.”She held back a laugh,watching as the realisation came across your face. “Right,so the answer is yes but also no but also yes.Like at least fifty percent yes but also no but im 1000% confident in Merida being a lesbian.”You confirmed,cutting open your biscuit.She nodded,trying to think of a new topic before she lost your attention again. “So the whole thing of people shipping Else with Jack Frost.What do you think of that?”She asked,laughing when your fists slapped down in your lap,gaining the attention of Rafe and Sarah. 

“Dude literally it makes no sense!Jack Frost isnt even disney!Like the only reason anyone ever shipped them was because they have the same powers but Jack is like 300 years old and hes like...energetic and giggly and child-like and immature and she would get so annoyed so quick!She’s introverted and serious and of course theres nothing wrong with that but she gets like too embarrassed too fast and I cant see them ever getting together or even being friends.Like,Merida is most definitely a lesbian but if they’re gonna ship Jack with anyone it should be her!Their personalities are so similar.”You huffed,biting into a half of your biscuit.

She nodded,grabbing a scoop of mashed potatoes and putting it onto her plate. “Yeah,definitely.So who is your favorite disney princess?”She asked,sending a bitter glare towards Sarah.Sarah had been staring at you during your passionate speech,filtering out the other voices to listen to you.She found you fascinating,intriguing.She was trying to figure out why she didnt know you or if you were new to the island.You glanced her way,smirking to yourself when you saw her blush. “Um...I dont think I have a favorite.They’re all powerful and wonderful in their own ways and they all have pretty cool stories.Except Pocahontas,I hate that they romanticize colonization and in reality she was like ten and he was in his late twenties.The soundtrack was great though.”You shrugged,taking a sip of root beer.

She nodded,listening in to what the old folks were talking about.There were more people outside who had opted to take plates of food out there.Kiara wouldve preferred to go outside but it was colder out there and she hadnt been prepared.Her mother was looking at her from across the table but Kiara couldnt care less,too busy searching for your parents. “Hey,(Y/N)?”She asked quietly,getting your attention off of your biscuit. “Where are your parents?”She asked.You shrugged,getting your own scoop of mashed potatoes. “I think they’re outside.I dunno.”You answered.She nodded,continuing to eat,sending a glare towards Sarah every couple of moments. 

“Eat faster so we can finish the movie.”You told her,not thinking about it as you spoke.She smiled,hurrying to eat. “Wait,why dont we just go outside and watch it?”She suggested.You bit your cheek,trying to figure out why you hadnt thought of that.You nodded,standing up and picking up your root beer,balancing it on your plate and walking out of the house,Kiara close behind you. “Where are we going?”She asked.You grinned,careful as you walked down the hill. “I know a spot.”You answered,walking across the sand of the beach.

You had explored pretty much all spots of the beach and had found your favorite one,a cave behind a wall of rocks that you had personalized.You walked towards the rock wall,slipping through the crack. “What is this place?”She asked,still following you.You smiled,turning on your phone flash light so you could see the lantern that you had put in there,turning it on.Her face lit up,looking around the cave.Pillows,sheets,blankets,pretty curtains hanging from the walls,a bin of paints so you could paint the rocks. “Thats such a good question.I really dont know how it got here,I just went through the crack one day and kind of just found it.”You shrugged,sitting down in the pile of pillows and patting the spot next to you.She sat down,shifting so she was as close to you as possible,leaning her head against your shoulder to test the waters.You pulled the earbuds from you phone,turning up the volume of the movie.

@poguestyleskye​ @jjtheangel​ @balanceofgray​​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian 

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[byjove-cannibalcove]

Hannibal AU for @pragnificent​

will is called in to find the person responsible for the murder of roughly 15 people over the course of a single weekend up in new jersey The killings were really brutal, and disproportionately targeted a home where a party had been taking place, as well as a single police officer who had arrived to check in on them preliminary assumption is that it was a large group of people, possibly an occult ritual slaying of some kind, especially because it happened on friday the thirteenth and the teenagers had been having a scary movie watching party for some reason so anyways they get up there and are looking at the carnage and trying to figure out how the hell most of these murders were even pulled off, since it includes things like 'cut a head from someones shoulders' and 'a 6'4" football player was thrown onto a spike' and shit like that naturally they look into it and find out that there has been large scale killings in this general area every ten years or so for 30 years or so that the first one was the only one where the killer was caught (a little old woman, motivations unknown) and that while there is usually at least 1 survivor of each attack the survivor is in all cases driven too insane by the events to accurately describe anything that had happened (though for what its worth they, for the most part, do not tell cohesive stories, so you cant listen to them anyways) so anyways will is out here trying to get a vibe, get a feel for the person that did this, trying to understand why he targeted these people hes fifuring out shit like 'yeah this cop was a serial abuser' and 'a lot of these teenagers show evidence of having been having a lot of sex and underage drinking and drug use beforehand, all of which appears consentual' that the kids with records of wrong doing and bad reputations were killed most violently, that those that seem like good kids were mostly killed quickly and pretty painlessly and wills preliminary feelings are 'this killer was... driven... but not calculated... almost childish.. ' this leads team science to be like 'okay so like a fellow teenager?' and then argue like 'only if they are a GIANT teenager, we are talkign 6'5" based on some of these swings" and wills like no no not a teenager, like, an actual child, think Home Alone, a child with no concept of torture but who just wants to make the bad people go away, who feels like hes defending his home which leads the group to be like 'okay potentially a giant disabled person, cant be too many of those secreted away in the area' wills going out to sit by the lake days later and thinking how beautiful it is, how peaceful, serene, like you could just float out into the water here and stare at the moon and never look away he finds a used condom in the reeds by the dick, curls his nose in disgust, imagining them fucking in the water, or on the dock, how vulgar it would be there are homes along this lake, not here exactly but visible in the distance at the far other end. this is a big long lake with many nice little divots like this one, so many people live along it and have never been hurt, many families, lots of vacation homes. the only families that were ever killed on this lake usually lived there for a decade, more, before it happened, kids that were raised in those homes only killed during a party when they were vulgar when they disrespected the lake disrespected nature ruined it with their noise and their wild parties, drug use just the sort of thing a little old lady in 1979 might find worthy of death, might be driven mad by it takes a while but eventually they will dig up the information of the little old lady having had a disabled  son, jason, who drowned in the lake a few years before Mrs vorhees went on her rampage, the information that he had drowned while attending a summer camp, while the teenagers on duty werent watching him hes long dead btu will latches onto it, that it fits perfectly, they tell him hes losing it will starts channeling mrs vorhees, wandering around the lake, whispering to her boy, cleaning up trash he finds on the lake shore mrs vorhees was by all accounts an incredibly kind woman, a bit of a radical even, very environmental, a bit of a hippie, kind to strangers, lover of children, cherished and adored her disabled son, wouldve loved this lake and the clean air, the beautiful nights would have wanted the lake to be clean, to stay quiet will spends all night cleaning the lake for no reason at all other than an odd compulsion to see at least one small section of it be as nice as it would have looked to Mrs vorhees eyes how she would have taught it to her son, to cherish that will is sort of losing his mind, snapping at everyone, he hates loud noise and drinking right now, doesnt like how careless it makes everyone, is avoiding drinking himself for now at least but the clarity hurts, he is staying up at night in dirty hotel rooms and wishing he was outside under the clear sky, he buys a tent and puts it up down by the lake, in the area he cleaned he knows he shouldnt, there is a killer on the loose in the area, but will knows he isnt what the killer is looking for in the night he sees a shadow go over his tent, thinks he hears the crunch of a boot in the leaves, he holds his breath, cant move he sees a knife cutting through the fabric and tenses but when he looks again the tent is fine he realizes hes sleep paralyzed and sits up suddenly in burst of motion, throws open the tent flap, stumbles into the clearing its empty the lake reflects the white face of the moon at him. their eyes meet and it is beautiful he returns to the hotel room with the sunrise and as he climbs the stairs the phone in his pocket rings, the door to his room is wide open, jack stands inside with the phone to his ear he sees the tent under wills bag he thinks will is losing it, it is insane to camp by the lake when there is a killer on the loose there will doesnt have an excuse jack tells him that they found the cemetary that jason was buried in (very difficult because records from the time are so fucking spotty and it was a tiny family cemetary for a family that no longer exists) and that he was clearly marked as a drowning victem, dead at age 10, so no, its not mrs vorhees son, and there are no relatives, so scrap that, they are back to square one jack orders will to go home and talk to hannibal because being here is not very helpful right now if hes gonna do crazy shit like camp next to the murder lake will talks to hannibal about it, with as much honesty as possible, and how certain he is that its jason hannibal convinces jack to exume jason. there is no living family to protest and it will settle will enough to get will back on track and stop focusing on it. jack agrees in a very irritated way they go to do it (jack team science will and hannibal as well, as support for will) and... yeah there is no casket in that spot. empty grave. a marker and nothing else. holy shit somethign something something eventually they manage to link shit up like 'okay maybe it was jason that killed the second camp full of counselors in training-- the person was described as a  teenager, small in stature with a bag to hide their face. the killer in the 3rd instance was a grown man who slaughtered a fuckton of people over the course of a FEW days, and then was killed by a small child who fucked his head up so much that there was nothign identifiable left, not even teeth, so no one ever knew their identity, it literally might have been jason, it totally could have been a huge disabled man living in the woods  and no one ever knew about it ((we are gonna pretend 'jason lives' didnt happen)) anyways its basically decided that 'yeah it literally might have been jason vorhees, growing up alone in the woods, who committed most of those murders... but hes dead now so this is a new killer' and its a very frustrating thing because jack is like 'cool we just answered some cold case files btu we still dont know wtd happened last weekend' and will is like NO I SWEAR IT STILL FEELS LIKE THE SAME GUY And is trying to claim that 'maybe the person that was killed by the kid was someone else'   'an accomplice?'    'no no this person-- jason-- he is entirely alone. only the memory of his mother. only her touch guiding his hands, only her words in his ears, he cant listen to anyone else, he cant... he cant collaborate' and hannibal sits with him out on the lake, lets will row out in a boat with him Will imagines Mrs Vorhees, feels the way she must have felt, looking out at this beautiful lake, the one that nearly her son from her, beautiful and calm and tranquil, while the teenagers behind her loudly partied, drank, didnt have a care in the world, and his teeth bare at the idea, and he hates them too, hates the way they would look at her son if they knew he was alive Hannibal, sitting across and watching him, tells will thatthe lake is beautiful ((of course hes looking at will rather than the water haha)) will tells him its deep and cold will looks deep into the water and sees the drowning boy. blinks to wash the image away. blinks again. again. "Hannibal??" hannibal asks what will sees will jumps in the water reaches for child jason snags the hand of an adult dragging him down its beautiful here one blue eyes looks into his, startlingly clear hannibals arms snag will around the middle and pull him back to the boat jason lets go without fuss ((he just wanted to touch wills hand, will who for a few moments had looked, to jason, like his mother)) back at shore will tells hannibal this, and he is shakign and shivering and frightened of the lake and of himself, because he must really be fucknig losing it asks for comfirmation that hannibal didnt see anyone in the lake hannibal does not give will that confirmation he asks if will is seeing ghosts will says its more like spirits "a lake spirit, then?" its such a silly thought but somehow will ends up out at the lake the next night, hannibal at his side. hannibal has dressed down, a warm cream sweater over his dress shirt for the late october chill, will in flannel, and they set up wills tent and clean the area around their campsite meticulously. hannibal warms food he brought from home over the fire and will fishes, cleans and guts his catch, the knife catching the white face of the moon as it flicks over the scales in the dark night will stands, jus tinside the circle of light by the fire, and channels mrs vorhees "Jason... jaaaasonnn" nothing he thinks hannibal will laugh at him, but he doesnt he concentrates more on the image in his mind, the kindly smile she wore in the photos he saw of her, the fierce protective instinct that lay behind those eyes, the fact that jason is out here, alone, confused, scared, and he feels protective of him too "Jason.. come here" a tiny intake of breathe behind him, and wills blinks his eyes open and Jason stands before him. not a child. a man. Tall. huge. a giant he is wet, the only sound he makes the slow dripping of lake water from his clothes onto the ground below. his clothes are ragged and encrusted with leaves and dirt. his face is covered by a battered hockey mask. the skin beneath it is grey the image is a terrifying one, the stuff of nightmares but he isnt a monster he is wills son will holds out his arms "Jason, come here" jason is still for a time, tilting his head only slightly as he tries to work out what will is, who he is but he comes slowly he is so much larger that will, but he kneels, down on one knee, looking up at will one blue eye shining, searching wills face for something will wraps his arms around him "My special boy" jason shudders and melts into the hug, mask pressed to wills stomach the machete drops to the ground, huge hands press to wills back, so gently, like will is made of glass, something too precious to jason to risk hurting will tells him that he knows he was scared, was confused, was lost and alone for so so long that he thought he had to be that way but he doesnt that he can come home with will he doesnt have to stay here anymore, he doesnt have to wait Jason makes a sound, the first sound he has made so far, a small, a tiny little sob, and his shoulder loosen, like a great weight has left his shoulders he seems to shrink in wills arms, and for a moment will is holding a child and then his arms are empty but not cold there is a warmth in him, something between his lungs, love, peace, hope, life in a way he has never before experienced it will wants to cry but it feels more like happy tears he holds them at bay, sniffles once, wipes his eyes with sleeves filthy with lake water arms wrap around him from behind, and it is hannibal again, pulling at him, and will turns, melts into hannibals hug, lets himself cry they dont stay the night at the lake, they pack up their campsite, put out the flames, walk through the darkness to the car, will being led behind hannibal by the hand like a child, too shaky and full to do it himself later, in therapy, they talk about it, briefly, and agree that jason is somewhere better now, that the killings will stop, that they dont need to tell jack about this, that jason was a special boy, a good boy who loved his mother very much, that maybe they are together now, somewhere and when will looks out at the moon from his porch that night, he feels a presence just behind him, a warm, protective presence, who is looking up at the moon with him, and he knows its true

[uniformbravo]

bloop heres a post abt my 3-day trip to san diego B)

this was just gonna be a list of highlights but i ended up talking about a lot so it’s more like a Kind Of The Highlights But I Got A Little Carried Away list

it was a 2 hr drive so i put on some tunes & forced everyone in the car to listen to my thousands of anime ops and piano covers it was *fire emoji* (im not on mobile)

at the end jaelin said she couldn’t hear it the whole time rip

made myself carsick looking at mob psycho memes while we looked for a parking spot at the museum for 20 minutes (it was worth it they were good memes)

the museum we went to had a whole gaming thing going on where they just had a shitload of games out for ppl to play & one of them was just dance projected onto like an entire wall basically & i mean i didnt play but it was fun watching my mom try her best 

she played against two of my sisters who both beat her by more than double her score hgdhgksd bye mom

got a nauseating headache in the science museum & took the opportunity to sit down & look at more mob psycho memes for 35 minutes while the advil kicked in

felt better by the time we went to see this fuckin movie about national parks in the us but idk it was like. the whole reason my mom wanted to go to san diego was to see this movie bc they were getting rid of it soon & after seeing it i can see why they’re taking it out kjgkdjgksd like!!! it would’ve been cool if it told u shit about the parks like fauna and flora shit but it had this dumb little narrative abt these three campers traveling to each park & fucking around & i looked over at jaelin at one point & she was asleep & i was like same

im being too hard on it, it was kind of interesting to watch and had some cool visuals but the acting was pretty embarrassing & unnecessary, i wish it would’ve tried to be a documentary instead of entertaining. that’s my Professional Review of this random movie they’re removing forever soon, hope u enjoyed

realized i had more free time at the hotel than i thought i would & v heavily regretted not bringing my tablet to draw aaaaaahhhhh it was ok tho bc i brought my big sketchbook so i just drew in there B)

i’ve been drawing a lot of terukis i think i accidentally discovered a hidden love for him on the midnight shores of the san diego bay

(what i actually discovered is that he’s v easy to project a rly specific part of myself onto hgkdgksdjkgjsdk)

rented bikes to ride by the bay & it was super fun bc i havent ridden a bike in a long time but like. the second half started getting really hard for me & i thought i was just weak shit bc i literally never exercise but then i realized my back tire had gone flat hfdjghsd my legs were..... so sore

also the seat was shaped weird so my ass was sore for the rest of the trip. it’s still sore tbh. i have a bruised ass

went to a model train museum which was pretty cool bc the little towns had little people & jaelin and i were making up stories for them (my favorite recurring joke was pointing out ppl that had fallen over & calling them dead)

after the trains we made a spur-of-the-moment decision to stay a third day to see more museum shit bc why not so we managed to grab a room at a new hotel and #Locked In our decision

on the way to the second hotel we got a flat tire so i was like convinced i was cursed bc wtf it was literally on the same day???

while we waited for the tire repair i got a pink lemonade from taco bell and it was amazing i can’t believe i ever thought piece of shit sprite was worth even looking at over this

ok so i need to talk about the second hotel we stayed at because it was... literally the fanciest hotel i have ever stayed at in my entire 22 year old life

it was a mariott?? but a fuckin Fancy Mariott ok first of all we were on the 19th floor which just..... what the fuck

floor level was the 6th floor, this bitch went underground (though that might have just been the parking garage idk)

the lobby bathroom was like. jesus christ. to flush the toilet u wave ur hand over a sensor??? what’s wrong with just automatic toilets???? why are these toilets so extra????? i couldn’t even get it to work for so long jgkjdkgsd i hate technology

also there were moist towelettes sitting in a neatly folded pile by the sinks like what even. i thought it was paper towels but then it was wet

the lobby also had this fancy-ass bar/lounge where they served starbucks but u had to have a room key to get in i think

in the elevators to get to the rooms you can’t even enter the floor level until you hold your key card against a sensor like what the fuck..... we had to get some strangers to tell us how to do it gjdks i bet if we hadn’t been able to figure it out the elevator wouldve just dropped us 12 floors to our death like Access Denied, Assholes

the room itself was super fucking cramped tho which makes sense like if im gonna be able to afford anything at a place like this u better believe it’s gonna be the size of a damn peanut. it was the fanciest peanut ive ever seen in my life tho

the view was uhh we were directly across from some tall office building so at night u could like see into all the rooms it was kinda cool but also weird

there was a jar of hershey’s kisses on the coffee table when we got there but it was dark chocolate so like get the fuck outta here with that shit how dare you assault Mine Eyes (i ate like 4)

it rly was a tiny room tho and it didnt help that there were 5 of us rip... like there was a main room and a bedroom and a bathroom and already that’s making it sound bigger than it was hgkdjgskd 

but even tho it was small it had a lot like.. there was a kitchenette that was big enough for like 1 person to stand there but it had a fridge/freezer, sink, dishwasher, toaster, microwave, cupboards & coffeemaker like there was so much shit crammed in there, this wasn’t no minimalist living space it was just. a lot crammed into one tiny floor plan

anyway yeah it was really bizarre for me to be in a place like that & i just constantly felt like i didn’t belong there but that was mostly my anxiety lol i really dont like being in fancy places in general idk. it was still kinda fun tho

the natural history museum was cool, they had a bunch of animal skulls & taxidermy which i thought was pretty neat. all their dinosaur stuff was in the basement tho which u had to pay extra to see which like. bye

they did have some cool movies tho, they were like nature documentaries, one on marine biology around baja california and the other on animals of the galapagos & those were pretty neat, way better than that national parks shit we saw at the science center jgkdjkskdkdjg 

ok so this one’s more of a buildup over the 3 days so im gonna give a lil 3-part summary

day 1: we went to panda express for dinner & i had leftovers so i was like “sweet im saving these for when we get home” (bc the hotel had a fridge right)

day 2: got a rly good burger from a vegan place, my brother got the same one but didnt want his second half so i was like “cool more leftovers im gonna have so much good food when we get home this is perfect”

day 3: fucKIGN LEFT BOTH CONTAINERS IN THE FRIDGE ACCIDENTALLY WHEN WE CHECKED OUT HKDJFLSKDG i was literally so good about it the first two days like when we switched hotels i made sure not to forget them and i held onto them & everything & then halfway through the third day i was like “SHIT”

it’s ok tho bc for dinner that 3rd day we did panda again & i got the same thing so i have the same leftovers again hehehehehe

ok i think that’s basically everything & im not just saying that bc it’s 1:45 am and ive been working on this for like an hour and a half at this point.,.,. overall it was pretty fun, i think i liked the bikes & those animal movies the best... also the drive out bc i got to play my music lmfao (i love sharing my music ok)

anyway the end thank u

[titandnene]

Hey I need to say this to you Lauren.

I dont know the best was to express or say how I feel but I’m finally at a point where I need to explain myself fully for all I’ve done and why i keep coming back into your life. For the past 3 years my life has been a rollercoaster through stages of hell that I really need to tell you about because in the darkest parts of it the idea of what we were and you in general have been my only light. That’s the reason why I’ve been popping back into your life when I’m sure you would rather have it otherwise. The night that we first tripped togther really shows the power that I see in the universe and how horribly cruel honest and true to form it can be about life. Lauren it had to happen the way it folded out. And I learned that it always does no matter what you want. The beginning of it like the beginning of us was great but that moment when I was facing the door and immediately snapped back to look at you started a chain of events that no one was prepared for. That’s when I started to go “crazy” or my mind started to twist my life started to twist everything started to go out of whack. That’s when me being here with you and me always coming back into your life started to turn things bad in my life. I’m deeply sorry for making you cry during the trip but what you don’t know is what happened after you left. I started to plan out what I would think would be our life together. And that was also my first manic episode.

After your left I started writing on the table and in my note book about a surf shack that we were going to have and this fantastic life that was going to happen because I could see it all in that moment. I felt like I knew it all in that moment. But the reality was I was having my first manic episode. Mania makes me feel like that. Like I have the world and it’s story and the universe and it’s story and our story tied up together and I just have to talk it into existence and it will happen the way I say it will. I felt like I had so much energy and enlightenment just pouring out of me and people were on the same brain wave that I was. But it’s never the case.

I was writing and then I finished with the thought of the universe could be this place that I’m envisioning or I could just be crazy and loosing my mind. And then I sunk deep down into that hole. Thinking that my mind was broken and that I couldnt stop this train that was my brain. So I got in bed shut my eyes and just wished for sleep and it came and I woke up the next day fine like back to normal. Hoping that you would still want to be with me after what I did to you that night.

That in essence has been the last three years on repeat starting January 1st 2016.

It’s a cycle of slowing going manic. Mania brings in good feelings and somehow you get involved in my head. That then branches out to me trying to contact you because if this vision that I’m so clearly seeing. And then the destruction of that vision as the episode ends.

On that day I started to go crazy or manic. I dont really know how but by the 4th I was in the back of an ambulance loosing my mind. My universe was fracturing reality was loosening I thought that everyone was going to die and I was going to be alone forever. So they put me in the hospital and they were running test and I was like a wild animal because I had no idea what was going on and then the seeds of my psychosis started being planted. Because within all of that madness I had one light one person that my mom made me think of and that was you. I was talking about the color of your eyes. And then I saw a girl that I thought was you enter a room but I didnt see her face. But I assumed it was you. But the seed was the idea of you always being just in the other room waiting for me. It’s been a constant theme when I’ve become manic. After some weird things happening they wheeled me away to get a brain scan. As they were wheeling me away and I tried to get away because I thought that they were going to do something like “dissect me” or take away a part of me that made me me. That part is hard to explain but. This part isn’t. I accepted the fate that they were going to take all that away that I was going to not come back the same. I put my hand over my heart and said the name Sandy. This was the first solid root of my psychosis that revolves around us. Sandy was the name of a daughter that I saw us having. And it was basically me saying if they are going to take me away i hope she’ll live.

I made it out of the MRI alive and eventually found sleep and woke up the next day still manic. But thing about mania is when your in it you never know that you are. It’s a lobster in water that’s slowly rising in temperature. Once it’s boiling it’s adjusted so it doesn’t know the difference. You just feel normal.

The next day they had me admitted to a inpatient mental hospital. That’s where you called me and we talked. The first few days were a manic mess. I was going crazy I thought that there was a game that had to be played that was going to get me to leave. I thought that my life was going to be this road trip to all these places to save the world. You basically think that you’re jesus and an undercover spy and you have to solve the clues to get out. After seven days in there I got out. But because it was my first time with mania I was still kind of on a high. It’s like coming back from the moon. I made it into the atmosphere of earth but Not quite back to ground and even then not on target. I’m lucky if I hit the ocean.

So I went into a day program where you meet kids who are going through similar things as you. People with depression mania and everything. I meet some people it was nice the first time. But it was a rough start. What made it tougher was the fact that the day that I got out of the mental hospital was the day after classes began at HP. So even if I wanted to, I couldn’t go back. My parents wanted me at the house and monitored on my new medication making sure I sleep and don’t go back into mania. I think I still might have been smoking weed at the time I’m not completely sure but I picked up 2 classes at the school that I’m at now still went to group and truly fucked things up with you.

The last messages that we sent to one another I really regret. I didnt like how I was pushing you away and trying to bring you close. How I wanted an open relationship when I really didn’t even know what it entailed I just wanted to keep you for emotional support and fuck other people. I remember sitting somewhere and having that talk and hearing you cry on the other end of the line and that’s just not right. And then the last Facebook messages that we sent where I was a true asshole and manic because I was smoking weed and it triggers my mania. And how I ended the relationship with a saw and a sawed off.

The next parts is so I can round everything out and really get this psychosis out of me so take it or leave it I need to write it out.

My mom says I have a season when it comes to mania but really it’s just when I start smoking weed and loosing sleep and stop taking my meds. But the next time I got manic was almost a year to the day. If you want to really see when I get into the manic place look for when I contact you or try to reach out that’s how you know I’m floating back.

The next time was the long haul to the hospital. This time I spent 5 hours talking to myself and making up a fictional son named Steven that you and i would have. Back story lore the reason for his name and universal significance. The whole gambit of this kid. This was also a time where i you were still following me on Spotify and i would look and think that we were communicating through our songs.

Eventually i got to loud and out about everything and got sent back to the hospital and what I now call my restart button. Hospital around winter break then group during classes and then back to the grind until I pick up weed again and then restart. But the time I stopped is worth noting.

After I got out that time and spring summer started rolling around I picked up again but weed wasn’t doing me the same. Instead of making me feel good it started to make me feel like shit. I would get on myself about being stupid that I couldn’t do anything every time I smoked I would just fall deeper into a pit and I couldn’t stop. So the universe made me stop. There was one night where the next chapter of my mental illness would kick in.

I said I was done but my friend called me out and said he’d smoke me up and buy my ticket to go see a movie. It was the worst expierence of my life I had a panic attack that twisted my brain into developing a type of OCD that I now know as Harm OCD. It’s not fun. But what that leads me to is the cocktail that that and mania made me go through and how that lead to the mania endured birth of a 3rd child named staysea. Basically the mania brought on the fictional reality glasses that had been brewing since my last manic episodes and the harm ocd brought on the horrific thing that I did to our child in this other dimensional state which was essentially rape.

Harm ocd is not fun it’s something that i go through every day and regret every day for not listening to the universe when it told me to stop. It’s consistent intrusive thoughts that have to do with violence and sex. It’s like being mind raped by a demon. I dont want these bad things to happen but when I say stop this demon in my head says go and I have to visualize atrocities happen multiple times a day. It’s not fun. But I’m getting better at dealing with it.

After the movie theater I stopped smoking for a while and got better felt better I didnt go to the hospital that January and got through the year. I was finally getting over you coming back into my life in these fantasies and having to deal with it. I metaphorically burried the kids that we had I was getting better. But about a year and half i picked it up again. And I would have moved on and stayed out of your life if not for one moment that started this years run of come ups.

I was at my grandmas old folks home. And she has dementia but I talk to her and her roomate still and I was fiddling with a piece of paper and my brain had been starting to go into a manic space. And my grandmas roommate said something to me which was basically for me to try to reach out to you because “she’s the one for you.” This ticked off my mildly manic brain and then everything that I spent the last years settiling came up and I started to believe in The future that I made back then kids and all. All the past things that I made up started coming back. And I started to try to believe in a universe that follows some narrative that works like a book compared to one that just is.

I ended up having a manic episode and going back to the hospital for the entire month of January this time. I think that was after you messaged me on Instagram. I was pretty manic when I was messaging you but I still had some of myself together. But I got out and here I am now. Trying to come to you with some sort of explanation of my actions towards you.

I hurt you a lot over these past years. Far more than anyone really should. You’ve told me time and time again how you don’t don’t want to see me and just want me to leave but every time I’m close to letting go I pull myself back somehow. For that I’m sorry. This is something that I wanted to write you but never knew how to put into words right. I wrote another letter essentially saying hey I’m coming back down to HP in late April to see Haleigh but I don’t even know if Im going to anymore. I barley have the money and I would halfway want to see you but you don’t deserve to just have me in your face without notice or permission.

You remind me of a time when I didn’t have all this weight on me when life was easy. And I was happy with someone I loved. And how a life with them would be all I ever needed. And that’s probably why I go back to it always because that’s all I want.

But this letter serves you and me better. I think. Life has been really really rough for me and you were a life that I saw that could’ve been and I always regret not just staying loyal to you because of how much i cared about you. Just being patient with us. I just want to fix everything I did. But now moving on is best but I needed to say something like this explaining why. I am the way I am.

It would be nice to talk to you though.

I would want to be your friend or just someone who you don’t hate, someone who you can forgive.

I love you Lauren. You’ve helped me through dark Really lonely times. And the only reason why I come back to you is because there’s no one else who made me feel so loved and secure. I wish that I could go back and advise myself about how good of person you would be to be and to treat you right because of it. You were my ace, the one person who was there for me always. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better person to you when I had the chance to.

Thank you for helping me whether you knew it or not.

Jordan.

[maris457vbucks-blog]

Fortnite generator: It isn't really as Difficult as You're thinking that

How Fortnite Captured Teenagers’ Hearts and Minds

The trend for the 3rd-particular person shooter game has things of Beatlemania, the opioid crisis, and eating Tide Pods.

V Bucks For Free Fortnite

It had been acquiring late in Tomato City. The storm was closing in, and meteors pelted the ground. Gizzard Lizard had designed his way there soon after plundering the sparsely populated barns and domiciles of Anarchy Acres, then by keeping away from the Wailing Woods and maintaining the storm just off to his left. He spied an enemy combatant on higher ground, who appeared to have a sniper’s rifle. Inside of a hollow below the sniper’s perch was an abandoned pizzeria, with an enormous rotating sign up the shape of the tomato. Gizzard Lizard, who had swiftly constructed himself a redoubt of salvaged beams, explained, “I think I’m about to assault. That’s amongst my principal challenges: I want to begin being more aggressive.” He ran out into your open up, pausing ahead of a thick shrub. “This is actually a really excellent bush. I could bush-camp. But naw, that’s what noobs do.”

Two Adult men enter, one male leaves: the fighters closed in on one another. Within the movie game Fortnite Fight Royale, the late-game phase is often one of the most frenetic and fascinating. Suddenly, the sniper launched himself into a nearby field and commenced attacking. Gizzard Lizard rapidly threw up One more port-a-fort, amid a hail of enemy fire. The aim is usually for getting, or make, the high ground.

A minute later, Gizzard Lizard was dead—killed by a grenade. Afterward, he replayed the ending, from several vantages, to investigate what experienced absent Mistaken. To become so near to successful and however appear up brief—it absolutely was discouraging and tantalizing. A person really wants to go once more. The urge is powerful. But it had been time for my son to do his research.

I expended far more time as A child than I care to recall observing other Young children Perform video game titles. House Invaders, Asteroids, Pac-Person, Donkey Kong. Ordinarily, my buddies, above my objections, favored this to playing ball—or to other preferred, if fewer edifying, community pursuits, for example tearing hood ornaments off parked autos. Just about every so normally, I performed, far too, but I used to be a spaz. Insert quarter, match around. After gaming moved into dorms and apartments—Nintendo, Sega—I realized which i could just depart. But at times I didn’t. I admired the feat of divided awareness, the knack that some guys (and it was often fellas) looked as if it would have for keeping alive, each in the game and inside the fight of wits around the sofa, as though they have been each taking part in a Activity and executing “SportsCenter” at the same time.

I thought of this one other working day when an acquaintance explained looking at a group of eighth-grade boys and girls (amid them his son) hanging all around his apartment taking part in, but primarily seeing Other people play, Fortnite. Just one boy was playing on a significant Television display, using a PlayStation 4 console. The other boys have been on their own telephones, either actively playing or viewing a specialist gamer’s live stream. And the ladies were actively playing or viewing on their own telephones, or on the lookout around the shoulders from the boys. Among the list of ladies explained to my Good friend, “It’s enjoyment to see the boys get mad if they shed.” No one explained Considerably. What patter there was—l’esprit du divan—arrived from the kids’ minimal screens, in the shape of the pro gamer’s mordant narration as he vanquished his opponents.

Fortnite, for any person not a teen-ager or a parent or educator of teens, could be the third-man or woman shooter game which includes taken above the hearts and minds—and some time, both of those discretionary and if not—of adolescent and collegiate The us. Launched last September, it is right this moment by quite a few actions the preferred movie recreation on the planet. From time to time, there are already much more than three million individuals taking part in it at once. It has been downloaded an believed sixty million moments. (The game, readily available on Laptop, Mac, Xbox, PS4, and mobile devices, is—crucially—free of charge, but many gamers pay back For added, beauty attributes, including costumes generally known as “skins.”) When it comes to fervor, compulsive habits, and parental noncomprehension, the Fortnite craze has factors of Beatlemania, the opioid disaster, plus the ingestion of Tide Pods. Mom and dad converse of it being an dependancy and swap tales of plunging grades and brazen display-time abuse: under the desk at school, at a memorial assistance, in the toilet at 4 A.M. They beg each other for solutions. A pal sent me a video clip he’d taken a single afternoon though wanting to quit his son from enjoying; there was a time when frequently contacting a single’s father a fucking asshole would have brought about massive difficulty in Tomato Town. Within our family, the massive risk is gamer rehab in South Korea.

Game fads appear and go: Rubik’s Dice, Dungeons & Dragons, Angry Birds, Minecraft, Clash of Clans, Pokémon Go. What persons manage to concur on, whether they’re seasoned avid gamers or dorky dads, is the fact there’s one thing new rising about Fortnite, a type of mass social accumulating, open to your Significantly wider array of people as opposed to video games that arrived prior to. Its relative lack of wickedness—it appears to be primarily freed from the misogyny and racism that afflict many other video games and gaming communities—makes it much more palatable to your broader audience, which attractiveness both equally ameliorates and augments its addictive electrical power. (The sport, in its basic method, randomly assigns players’ skins, that may be of any gender or race.) Prevalent anecdotal evidence implies that girls are enjoying in wide numbers, each with and with out boys. You will find, and possibly at any time shall be, some gamer geeks who gripe at these newcomers, equally as they gripe when there aren't any newcomers in the slightest degree.

A friend whose thirteen-yr-old son is deep down the rabbit hole likened the Fortnite phenomenon to your Pump Home Gang, the crew of ne’er-do-well teenager surfers in La Jolla whom Tom Wolfe occurred upon inside the early nineteen-sixties. As opposed to a clubhouse to the beach, there’s a Digital worldwide juvenile corridor, exactly where kids Obtain, invent an argot, undertake alter egos, and shoot each other down. Wolfe’s Pump Dwelling kids went on beer-soaked outings they termed “destructos,” wherein they might, at neighborhood farmers’ behest, demolish abandoned barns. Now it’s Juul-sneaking very little homebodies demolishing virtual walls and properties with imaginary pickaxes. Children everywhere are swinging away at their planet, tearing it down to outlive—Resourceful destruction, of who plays fortnite A sort.

Shall I clarify the game? I should, I’m fearful, Regardless that describing movie video games is a little like recounting desires. A hundred gamers are dropped onto an island—from the traveling school bus—and combat one another towards the Dying. The winner is the last one standing. (You'll be able to pair up or type a squad, also.) This is what is supposed by Battle Royale. (The original Edition of Fortnite, launched last July, for forty bucks, wasn’t fight to your Loss of life; it's the new iteration that has caught fire.) A storm encroaches, steadily forcing combatants into an ever-shrinking spot, wherever they must get rid of or be killed. Along just how, you request out caches of weapons, armor, and healables, while also accumulating constructing products by breaking down existing buildings. Hasty fabrication (of ramps, forts, and towers) is A necessary facet of the sport, which is why it is commonly called a cross concerning Minecraft and also the Hunger Online games—and why aggrieved mom and dad are able to tell on their own that it's constructive.

Before a sport starts, you wander all-around in a sort of purgatorial bus depot-cum-airfield waiting around until finally the following hundred have assembled for an airdrop. This can be a Unusual location. Players shoot inconsequentially at one another and pull dance moves, like actors strolling aimlessly all-around backstage practising their strains. Then appear the airlift and also the drifting descent, by way of glider, on the battleground, with a gentle whooshing seem that is certainly towards the Fortnite addict what the flick of the Bic is to a smoker. You can land in a single of 20-one particular locations over the island, Each and every which has a cutesy alliterative identify, some suggestive of mid-century gay bars: Shifty Shafts, Moisty Mire, Lonely Lodge, Greasy Grove. In patois and in temper, the game manages to be the two dystopian and comic, dark and light-weight. It might be alarming, if you’re not accustomed to these kinds of points or are attuned for the news, to hear your darlings shouting so merrily about head shots and snipes. But there’s no blood or gore. The violence is cartoonish, at the very least relative to, say, Halo or Grand Theft Car. Such tend to be the consolations.

The island by itself has an air of desertion although not of maximum despair. This apocalypse is rated PG. The abandonment, precipitated via the storm, which has either killed or scattered many of the globe’s populace, appears to have already been current and comparatively fast. The grass is lush, the Cover full. The hydrangeas are abloom in Snobby Shores. Buildings are unencumbered by kudzu or graffiti and have tidy, sparsely furnished rooms, as though the inhabitants experienced only just fled (or been vaporized). Seemingly, everyone around the island, in those prosperous pre-storm times, shopped in exactly the same aisle at Concentrate on. Every time I look at a participant enter a Bed room, be it in Junk Junction or Loot Lake, I Be aware the multicolored blanket folded throughout the mattress. Individuals cobalt-blue table lamps: are they for sale? It's possible one day They are going to be.