#but yes yes please give me Ranunculus

[moodymelanist]

meet me at the altar (in your white dress)

happy day 3 of @sjmromanceweek everyone! of course I had to get some Nessian in here, you know me!! title from Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge (the remix is much better than the original IMO)

Summary: Nesta and Cassian elope to help take the edge off planning their big, official wedding.

Word Count: 3k

Read on AO3 here!

Summary: Nesta and Cassian elope to help take the edge off planning their big, official wedding. 

♡♡♡♡♡ Nesta

Nesta held in another scream as she clicked through yet another florist’s website, holding back the urge to start banging her head back against the wall. All she’d wanted was to come home from a long day at the office and relax, but instead of being able to destress with a book on her Kindle, she’d ended up dealing with more wedding stuff.

“You really should consider going with more hydrangeas,” her mother was saying. Rhea had called Nesta and essentially ambushed her with more wedding planning; today’s topic of choice was the floral arrangements. “I mean, what even is a ranunculus?”

“They’re a classic wedding flower, Mom,” Nesta replied through gritted teeth. She and Cassian had gotten engaged right before Christmas, and they were in the full swing of things planning wise. No matter how many times she emphasized that this was their wedding, though, it hadn’t stopped Rhea from being her usual, controlling self. “They look like peonies.”

Cassian appeared at the edge of her vision, his face twisted up adorably in sympathy as he came into their bedroom. He’d been as hands on as he could with wedding planning, but there was only so much he could do with Rhea as his future mother-in-law.

Cassian waved to get Nesta’s attention and once she looked over at him, he mouthed, You want me to give you an out?

Yes please, Nesta mouthed back. God, she loved him so much.

Nesta watched from her position on the bed as Cassian came around the corner of the mattress and reached for her nightstand, opening and shutting the drawer loud enough for Rhea to hear it on the phone. To the untrained ear, it sounded similar enough to a door opening and closing, and it was the perfect excuse to get off the phone and take her Friday night back.

“Sorry, Mom,” Nesta said immediately, cutting off whatever tangent Rhea was going on now about the flowers she’d had at her wedding. “Cassian just got home from work. I have to go.”

Rhea was silent for a few seconds. “Fine. I’ll speak to you about this later.”

“Okay. Have a good night,” Nesta replied. Rhea echoed the sentiment, and Nesta immediately tossed her phone away from her. “Holy shit, she drives me crazy.”

“Watching you deal with her is driving me crazy, Nes,” Cassian said. He leaned down to where she was reclining against the headboard and pressed several hello kisses into her lips. “What if we just got married tomorrow or something?”

“What?” Nesta said back, not quite sure she was hearing him correctly. She pulled back to look up at him, but he looked like he was being completely serious, which could not be a possibility right now.

“I said,” Cassian replied, speaking slowly to make sure she caught every word, “what if we just… got married tomorrow?”

She stared at him for several seconds without blinking. “You’re joking, right?”

“No jokes here, sweetheart,” he answered. He stood up to his full height before walking to the edge of the bed and sitting down, resting one of his warm hands on her ankle. “I feel like it would help.”

“How would throwing away months of planning help?” she responded, doing her best to stop her eye from twitching. Once they’d settled on a venue and secured their date, it had been divide and conquer between reaching out to caterers, bakers, florists, makeup and hair stylists, tailors – you name it, they’d talked to someone about pricing and dates and menu options and color schemes. 

“We wouldn’t be throwing away months of planning,” he told her. “I can be an idiot sometimes, but not that big of an idiot.”

“...Okay.” Nesta closed her laptop and gave him her full attention, hoping that he’d eventually tell her something that made sense instead of just confusing her further. “Explain what you mean then, because I don’t think I’m following you.”

“Just hear me out, okay?” Cassian asked. Once Nesta nodded her assent, he started rubbing gentle circles into the delicate skin of her ankle. “Maybe this is dumb, but I was just thinking… maybe it could help take the edge off things. I know your family is breathing down your neck about this being perfect, and I know how stressful this whole thing has been for you. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be us.”

God, he was good at this. He always knew exactly what to say to cut her to the core in the best way, and his words combined with the way those hazel eyes were trained on her made her want to give in immediately. Even though they would be surrounded by loved ones when they got married, something in her had always cringed at the fact that they’d be putting their relationship on display for everyone to see. She loved Cassian, she did, but the idea of having a wedding as big as theirs was shaping up to be felt almost performative. 

If they did what he was suggesting, there wouldn’t be anything performative about it. It would be something for just them; they wouldn’t have to go through any of the hoops that their huge, ornate ceremony was shaping up to entail. Just her, Cassian, and whoever they needed to talk to for it to be official.

“Yeah,” Nesta eventually answered, suddenly fighting back tears at how well he knew her. Even after all these years with him, he still managed to catch her off guard with how thoughtful he was. “

“Yeah?” Cassian echoed. He started to smile and it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. “Let’s do it.”

♡♡♡♡♡

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to sort everything out. Cassian booked a hotel for the weekend in Atlantic City while Nesta dug around for a white dress in her closet, and by the time she’d found a suitable enough option, he’d also started the process to get a marriage license.

“It doesn’t take that long to get a New Jersey marriage license,” he told her as they packed their bags for the weekend. “I mean, we’ll still have to sort out the paperwork for when we get married again, but that’s a problem for future us.”

“Okay,” she replied, feeling much lighter now that the pressure for their huge ceremony was suddenly off her shoulders. “We’ll figure it out then.”

It didn’t take them much longer to finish packing, and before Nesta knew it, they were in the car and on their way to Atlantic City. It wasn’t far – roughly two and a half hours – but they stopped for dinner along the way, so they made their way into the hotel lobby about three hours later. The air conditioning was going strong, and Nesta didn’t hesitate before leaning against Cassian’s warm side while they checked into their room.

“You want my jacket?” Cassian asked once they were all squared away and heading to the elevators.

“No, I’m okay,” Nesta answered, leaning into him again while they waited for the elevator to come to the lobby. Besides, he was holding both of their bags; she wasn’t going to make him essentially play Tetris with them to get the damn thing off. “We can just turn the AC down when we get upstairs.”

Their hotel room had all the usual accommodations, including a king-sized bed, and they both showered and changed into pajamas before getting into it. Cassian made sure their room was locked up tight and the AC wasn’t blasting before they got into bed, but even though it wasn’t as cold in the room anymore that didn’t stop Nesta from cuddling up to her fiancé.

“Thanks for going along with my crazy idea, Nes,” Cassian said into the quiet darkness of their room.

“It wasn’t that crazy once you explained it,” Nesta replied softly, reaching up and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “But you’re welcome.”

He just laughed softly, the sound of it vibrating gently against her cheek where she was laying on him. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby. See you in the morning.”

♡♡♡♡♡

Nesta woke up the next morning wrapped around one of the hotel pillows instead of around her husband-to-be. She experienced a brief moment of panic once she realized she was alone in the room, but it quickly dissipated once she recognized Cassian’s familiar handwriting on one of the hotel’s notepads. She reached for it where he’d left it on the end table and quickly scanned the note he’d left her.

Hey sweetheart, he’d written. Don’t freak out, but it’s bad luck to see the bride on her wedding day, and I’m all about avoiding bad luck. Everything else is getting taken care of (I promise!!) so you just have to bring your gorgeous self to the altar. 

Love you

xoxo,

Cassian (aka your future husband)

Nesta laughed softly to herself as she set the note aside, her heart rate immediately slowing down after she’d read it through a few times. Cassian knew how tired she was of making so many wedding-related decisions and it was such a relief to not have to make any more — for the moment, anywhere. Even if they weren’t doing things the ‘right’ way, he was still looking out for all the little details, and it was stuff like that that made her want to fall in love with him all over again. 

Lucky for her, she’d get to fall in love with him every day for the rest of their lives. 

Nesta let herself lounge in bed for a few more minutes until she couldn’t wait any longer. She took her time getting ready, the hot water from the surprisingly strong shower head waking her all the way up, and she was thankful she’d packed her good blow dryer after she realized the hotel one wasn’t up for the task. Cassian had always loved her hair down, so she carefully smoothed half of it up and left the other half down. 

By the time she finished with her makeup and got dressed, it was almost time to go. She put on her wedges and threw the essentials — lip gloss, powder, room key, phone — into her purse before heading downstairs. She’d missed breakfast, but she managed to snag some Pop Tarts from the convenience store while she waited for her Uber. 

It was a quick ride to the hotel where they were getting married, and Nesta just followed the signs for the wedding area until she found a woman holding a sign with her name on it. She was tall, with dark hair and light brown skin that looked amazing even under the strange hotel lighting.

“Hi,” Nesta said, walking right up to her. “I’m Nesta.”

The woman perked up immediately. “Great! I’m Deirdre, I’ll be officiating the wedding. Cassian handled pretty much everything he could without you, so all you have to do is follow me.”

“Great,” Nesta replied. Her love for Cassian grew even more once she heard she’d hardly have to do anything. “Lead the way.”

Deirdre and Nesta wound their way through the halls, making small talk until they ended up in one of the back rooms. Nesta picked out a small bouquet of lilies, a short veil to wear as she walked down the aisle, and signed some forms. 

“You’re all set,” Deirdre told her once the last thing was signed. “Cassian said he had the rings, so really you just have to get your beautiful self out there and we can get this show on the road.”

“Okay,” Nesta agreed. She wondered if Cassian was using their actual wedding rings, or if he’d found a less expensive replacement for today. Oh well — she didn’t need to worry about it right now, and wasn’t that a relief. “I’m ready.”

Deirdre clapped her hands together and led Nesta through a different path through the halls, the two of them coming to a stop in front of what looked like a chapel. “I’ll go in first, make sure everything’s ready, and then once the music starts you can come in whenever you want. Okay?”

“Sounds good,” Nesta told her, and then she was alone. 

Nesta took a few deep breaths while she waited for Deirdre’s signal. Maybe if it had been anyone else, she might have been more nervous, but it was Cassian waiting for her. How could she feel anything but excited when they were only a few minutes away from forever?

The music started earlier than Nesta had been expecting, but she took it in stride. She squared her shoulders and walked through the door with her head held high, something inside her settling the second she laid eyes on Cassian. He looked handsome as always, dressed in a white button-up shirt and his nicest pair of jeans, and she could tell he was already crying even from across the room. 

There were a few people seated amongst the pews to serve as witnesses, but Nesta tuned out everyone that wasn’t Cassian. The walk down the aisle was simultaneously too long and too short, and suddenly she was handing over her bouquet so she could grip Cassian’s hands in hers. “Hi.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Cassian said, his eyes a little wide. “You look so beautiful.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Nesta said back. She squeezed his hands to help steady them both before turning to Deirdre with an expectant look. “We’re ready.”

Deidre must have gone through all the usual wedding talk, but all Nesta heard was that she and Cassian were promising themselves to one another. Good days and bad, they’d show up for each other no matter what, no matter what kind of fancy ways people wanted to describe it. 

Before Nesta knew it, it was time for the vows. Deirdre turned to her expectantly, and she nodded before she took a deep breath. 

“Cassian,” Nesta started, her eyes tearing up at the force of what she felt for him. They’d both promised to not prepare anything — something about it coming from the heart — and part of her wished she had, just for the sheer difficulty of describing what he meant to her. “You’re the love of my life. My best friend in the entire world. You know me better than anyone else, and I’m so — I’m so thankful to have you. You make me so happy even when you’re being a bastard and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She took another deep breath to steady herself, shooting Cassian a watery smile as he reached up to wipe some of her tears. “You’re the one I want to laugh with and argue with and spend all my time with until we’re old and gray. I promise to choose you every day, no matter what. I love the life we’ve made so much, and I promise to fight for us for the rest of our lives. I love you, Cassian. So much.”

“Jesus, how am I supposed to follow that up,” Cassian muttered to himself. 

Nesta laughed. “I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Nes.” He took a deep breath of his own and met her eyes again. “Nesta, I knew from the minute I met you that you were special. Maybe it’s cheesy, but from that very first glare, I knew I’d be chasing after your attention for the rest of our lives. I’ve never been so happy to be right.”

“You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. You’ve made my life better in so many ways, and I’ll never stop thanking the universe for putting us in each other’s lives. You’re an amazing woman and the fact that you chose me — well. I’ll never take that for granted. It physically hurts me when we’re apart, so the fact that you’re agreeing to be tied to me forever makes me feel pretty damn good. I promise to choose you every single day, to always respect you and cherish you and all the other things that you deserve. I love you so, so much, Nesta. You’re my world.”

They were both crying now, and Nesta squeezed Cassian’s hands so hard it was a miracle he didn’t lose circulation. She swore she could feel the thread that connected them wrap around them even tighter; there was no telling where one of them began and the other one ended. It was just them, and it was beautiful.

“Those were wonderful,” Deirdre told them. “Now, the rings.”

It seemed Cassian had brought out their wedding bands early after all. Both of their hands were shaking as they exchanged rings, but they managed to get through it without dropping anything or putting their rings on the wrong fingers. 

“With that…” Deirdre took a deep breath and beamed at them. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Cassian didn’t need to be told twice. Nesta barely had any warning before he was grabbing her and dipping her, but he was so strong that she didn’t think he’d drop her for a second. She just threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, clutching him to her as tightly as she could and not planning on letting go for a good long while.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Deirdre said, smiling brightly. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” Cassian said with a wide grin once he’d brought Nesta back up. He was so beautiful when he was happy, and part of her still couldn’t believe she was the one to consistently put that smile on his face. “Hey, wife.”

“Hey, husband,” Nesta said back, smiling just as widely as he was. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Like you even have to ask,” he told her. He offered his hand and she took it without hesitation, squeezing tightly as they made their way back down the aisle.

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing | @avidromancereader | @a-little-disguised | @kale-theteaqueen | @talibunny30

[shreddedparchment]

Perennial Pt.17

You Can’t Hurry Love

06/20/2022

Pairing: Bucky x Reader          Word Count: 2,813

Warnings: angst, language, fluff, confessions, jealousy, bucky being dumb

Featured Flower: Crushed cornflower, crushed hydrangea, crushed ranunculus

A/N: I’m sorry I’m taking so much time in between updates. Things have been a little stressful at home but I’ll make sure to make more time for you all. xoxo

Please DO NOT repost, copy, or translate my work to other sites or blogs!

Don’t be a dick.

"Wait!" Bucky’s calling but you're livid.

Your steps are pounding the pavement as you swerve through the morning crowds as they make their way to work. Some of them give you annoyed looks as you bump into them.

Some of them glance at the beautiful and finished bouquet that you hold at your side, hanging down by your leg. A few of the white petals from the hydrangeas litter your path up the sidewalk.

Your face is still hot from anger, embarrassment, and your crying. You reach up with your other hand and wipe at your cheeks then nose as you sidestep someone waiting at a crosswalk and don't even pay attention to the fact that you don't have the right of way.

You make to cross as your mind replays the moment Bucky kissed you and despite yourself, your emotions betray you.

Happy? Yes! Bucky likes you!

This is everything you've been dreaming about but he's sorry?

Sorry?!

If he's sorry, then he must have known!

Every moment that made your heart pound and flutter and your stomach flip and your palms sweat and your heart ache…he must have known what he was doing.

He calls your name, again. And again.

Finally, smooth leather catches your wrist just as you're about to step onto the street.

A taxi honks and your body is pulled back then turned.

"Are you crazy?! Do you wanna get hit by a car?" Bucky asks, somewhat angry himself but that vanishes and his hand loosens around your wrist a bit.

You yank your hand away and shove him.

People are staring now. Some of them recognize Bucky and the younger ones watching start pulling out phones to record.

Crying girl holding a bouquet of flowers is pushing Sergeant Barnes angrily? Drama!

The internet is gonna flip.

"How long did you know?" You demand and shove him again. "How long did you play with me knowing how I felt?"

“I didn’t know-” he tries.

But you cut him off, “When you danced with me? Right before you disappeared for months? When you stayed with me in my apartment and held me after Paul? At the park? Or after your breakup at your place? When, Bucky?”

You shove him after each incident. There are many smaller incidents too. Less meaningful ones. Smiles and laughs and touches that literally could mean nothing but the look he’d given you always stung.

“I didn’t know.” Bucky assures you, catching your arms on the last shove as your bouquet falls to the ground.

With a sigh he looks around at the gathering crowd and embarrassed he stoops over to pick up your bouquet then takes your hand and drags you into the first open shop he sees. A furniture store with really high end pieces.

The smell of cedar and pine and fresh paint overcome your nose and you look around to take in your surroundings but also notice a few of the filming people follow to film through the window while keeping a somewhat respectable distance.

Bucky turns to you, fixing your flowers before taking your hand and placing them there. He presses them to your chest and you let him, feeling a trickle of tears spill over to renew the tracks on your cheeks.

“Hello, Welcome to-” the older woman running the shop had come forward to assist you but at the sight of you and the people filming through her window she smiles awkwardly and points to the counter at the back. “I’ll be back there if you need some help.”

Bucky gives her a tight smile and nods then focuses on you as she walks away.

“Look, I-I didn’t know how you felt about me until the night at the bar with Steve and you disappeared. I didn’t know how I felt until that night either but I think I’ve loved you for a long time.”

You sob once, no extra tears, just the sound of him saying those words gives you some type of agonizing relief that you aren’t sure you’ve ever felt before in your life.

Bucky shoves his hands in his pockets, probably in an attempt to try and keep them to himself. If he does feel the same way you do, then he probably wants to hold you just as much as you want him to, right?

“Now that I think back to it, I should have realized sooner. I wanted to see you all the time and you were always my favorite person to be around, but I was also with Kali and she was what I wanted. I did like her. A lot. It's not like I didn't. She was sweet and kind and good with kids.”

���Seriously? You wanna talk about your ex right now?” You gripe at him with frustration, jealousy turning your tears to anger.

Bucky scoffs and laughs softly before giving in and reaching out to touch your arms.

“Shit, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to explain myself. I guess I wasn’t paying attention. I was distracted by the idea of Kali and I didn’t realize that what we had could turn into more. You’ve been such a good friend to me. You helped me put myself back out there.

“If it wasn’t for your help with that first bouquet I don’t think I would have gone through with that first date much less a second. I just…I didn’t see you. I didn’t understand. It's not like…when I say that I've loved you, I mean it but it's not like it's always been romantic. Slowly, I think, after me and Kali broke up what we had sort of shifted and it wasn't until that night drinking with Steve that I was sure what I was feeling was that I wanted you.

"I’m sorry. That’s what I’m apologizing for. Not because I deliberately tried to hurt you, and I know that I did–and I wanna try and make up for that in every way possible–but I’m sorry that I didn’t know everything I wanted was already right there.”

You sniffle, staring up at him then looking down at his chest for a bit as you try not to let his words make you swoon. It’s difficult. He’s saying all the right things and you’d be damned if you said you didn’t want to just give in and be with him and that be that.

You’ve waited so long for him. So many nights spent hugging your pillow wishing he would just look at you. Why couldn’t he see how much you wanted to be with him?

“I know I can’t ask for your forgiveness, honestly it’s partially because I don’t quite understand what moments I should be asking for. Clearly the dancing crossed a line and the head scratches at my place?”

You nod.

“What else?” He urges you.

You sniffle again and reach up to wipe at your cheeks and nose again.

“Come on,” he gives you a small shake, reaching down to tug on your skirt twice as he urges you to speak. “Tell me.”

You meet his gaze and sigh, “The day at the park. When I was having a picnic by myself and you and Kali showed up and you stole a bite directly from my hand? Your mouth closed up all around my fingers. Dumbass.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up and his face turns a little red, “Oh.”

You feel your own face heat up again and your ears burn as you remember the tingles you felt all over your body.

“Oh,” Bucky repeats. “I…I guess that would kinda make you a little…a little flustered?”

You smack his chest and he smiles, reaching up to wrap his fingers around your fist.

“When else?”

You’re aware he’s much closer now, his chest almost touching your flowers.

“That night with Paul, and you held me on my bed,” you remind him.

“Really? I have to apologize for that?” He asks, completely hurt by it for some reason. “I didn’t know that it would mean anything. I just wanted to comfort you. You were scared.”

“Bucky, as my boyfriend, if you EVER go around holding girls in their bed to comfort them I will literally hire Steve and Sam to kill you and dispose of the body so that no one can find you. Who the fuck does that while they have a girlfriend?” You ask him angrily.

In the moment, the comfort had felt so good, but what would Kali have thought?

You can see him thinking about it.

“Seriously?” You demand. “Fine, then imagine I meet some guy. He’s my friend. He’s going through something traumatic and I decide to go over to his place to offer him some support and comfort. And I decide to just lay down with him on his bed and hug him all night. Even if it doesn’t mean anything at the time, even if it’s innocent, how would that make you feel?”

“Uh…-”

“Okay then, Steve. What if I hold Steve all night, in his bed, his head on my chest, arms around my waist, legs intertwined-”

“Okay! Alright, I get it. I get the picture,” Bucky says, cutting you off as his own jealousy gets the better of him. “I already have the image of you sitting on his lap, I don’t need the image of you laying beside him like that too.”

So he gets it!

“I guess that wasn’t fair to Kali, or you. I’m sorry,” he acknowledges and reaches up to scratch at the back of his head. “I just…with you I never thought about stuff that way. Not at the time. Not from Kali’s perspective either. I guess I wasn’t being fair to her either, having you so close that entire time.”

You frown because you need to own up to your own fault in this.

“You just told me that all of that was platonic for you. Whatever I was feeling aside, I should have put more of a boundary between us because I was the one in love with you,” you admit. “I owe her an apology. Even if you two didn’t work out, I felt how I did and I still let you get close. I wanted you to, and that’s so wrong of me.”

Your guilt makes the moment feel wrong in a way but Bucky shakes his head.

“I was the one with the girlfriend. I shouldn’t have been acting that way.” He says, almost refusing to let you take some of the blame.

How is he so sweet under all that attitude he's been hiding under?

“Anyway,” you press on, trying to find your way back to your anger. “How do I know you’re not going to do the same thing to me?”

“Are you kidding me?” Bucky asks, sighs, and then reaches out, both hands placed on the sides of your head.

He strokes your cheeks, your chin, then finally rests his palms along the sides of your neck as he wraps his fingers around it from either side.

He isn’t angry. He doesn’t sound frustrated. Just surprised.

“Do you have any idea how…” he stumbles over his words and can’t seem to find the right ones. “There’s no one like you out there. No one who can compare. Not just because it’s hard for me to put myself out there enough for people to get to know, but because of who you are as a person.”

Bucky smiles, dazzling you for a moment with pearly whites and an unbroken steel blue gaze, “I’ve never been a big believer in fate or destiny or any of that crap but I know you’re the one.”

"The one?" You ask in a whisper, ignoring the crinkle of the paper around your flowers as Bucky closes the space between you, leaning down and pulling you up to meet him.

"My one," he says softly and kisses you.

Both of you forget the cellphone cameras recording just outside.

~~~~~~~~~~

You’re so glad the shop is closed. You’re so glad that you decided to just spend all of your time in your new apartment choosing wallpaper and flooring and cabinet colors and plants and that you’re not required to go outside for any of it.

The apartment is in rough shape. The carpet in most of the rooms save the kitchen is at least twenty years old and is in desperate need of being ripped up. The plumbing is bad. Just…bad. Water pressure sucks. Everything is outdated. The windows are broken in almost every room because the apartment has sat vacant for the last five years.

Because of all of this, because you don’t feel safe in your old place and the new place is in terrible shape, you shuffle along the floor of Bucky’s apartment and reach for the binder with the floor samples again and pull it onto your lap.

The TV is going but you’re not paying it any mind.

You hear his keys and hear the door open but your mind is so preoccupied you don’t register what you’re hearing.

“I’m home,” Bucky’s voice calls out and that brings you out of your renovation stupor and also sends a wave of butterflies fluttering down in your tummy.

You look up towards the hallway just as he walks in and he smiles as he sets his keys down and removes his jacket.

“You’re back early,” you gasp, somehow still made breathless by him despite living with him for a few days now.

“It was just a briefing. Sam is headed out on his own and I might meet him if he needs me. What are you doing?”

You look down at the binder.

Bucky moves to sit in the armchair beside you. You’re sitting in his nest, the pillow and blanket that he keeps on the floor where he sneaks to every night and thinks you don’t notice.

He places one hand on the back of your head and it pulls your attention up to him, “I’m choosing floors.”

“Hi,” he smiles at you, hearing you but deciding to focus on more pressing matters.

“Hi,” you bite your lip.

“My kiss?”

You nearly melt into a puddle at how deep and soft his voice is. You reach up and grab the front of his shirt and pull him down towards you until his lips meet yours.

Your brain is thrown into a pink fog where Bucky is the end all be all of your thoughts. The soft push of his lips sends your heart into a frenzy and the rest of your body responds too.

Pushing yourself up, you settle between his legs, knees on either side of your hips as you wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss with him.

He slides his fingers down under the waistband of your shorts and as his skin grazes the slope of your rear you break the kiss to catch your breath.

“I missed you,” Bucky whispers, sending shivers down your spine.

“Bucky…” you call his name, voice breathy and your heart absolutely pounding.

The heat between your two bodies is suffocating and all you wanna do is rip both yours and his clothes off but then the TV is all you can hear.

“It was super romantic. I didn’t know that Bucky Barnes was such a sweet guy. He was so gentle with her.”

It’s a young voice speaking. You don’t recognize it.

The sound of Bucky’s name however pulls both of your attentions away from each other and onto the new story playing on the screen. You turn around to sit, Bucky’s hands move gently to rest on your shoulders.

“My cousin is always going on about the Avengers and when they let the Winter Soldier join them after everything he’d done, my friends and I all thought they might have been making a mistake but after seeing him with that girl, he’s really not the same person.”

“Bucky…” you say again, this time the worry that laces your voice brings his hands up to your neck where he massages gently in an effort to calm you.

“I guess I shouldn’t have chased you so publicly the other day, huh?” he scoffs in amusement.

The new anchor says something about a video and suddenly you and Bucky are on screen. You’re shoving him, crying, angry, and then the camera follows you to the shop you’d gone into and the recording continues but there’s no more of what you and Bucky are saying.

You can see him proclaiming himself to you again, deliberately trying to meet your eyes and reassure you, and your bodies are getting closer and closer. Then you’re kissing. It’s just there, right in front of the entire world.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim, absolutely mortified.

“Well,” Bucky shrugs. “At least they’ll all know I’m taken.”

[wellpresseddaisy]

Long Ago (and far away) Part 16

Sunday morning, Slytherin Common Room

"Bulstrode, could I speak with you, please?" Parkinson fidgeted on her feet, twiddling the end of her braid as she did.

Mercy's sake, they hadn't even had breakfast. Millicent sighed, thinking mournfully of steaming porridge and spiced apple compote. This had better not take long. She hadn't even got her tea.

"Of course, Parkinson." If the little twit started anything, she could just shove her into a trunk and pretend she knew nothing of her whereabouts until after breakfast. 

They went back to Millicent's room, her roommates having gone on ahead. They, at least, wouldn't try to eavesdrop. Thankfully they'd carried Greengrass off with them. A more wretched little sneak she'd never met. 

"I'm sorry!" Parkinson burst out as soon as the door shut and promptly dissolved into tears. 

Millicent sighed, but patted Parkinson on the shoulder and spoke bracingly. "Do pull yourself together, Parkinson, please."

Parkinson sobbed, but took a few deep breaths. 

"I didn't mean to go to pieces like that." She sniffed. "I've just been ever so worked up."

"Yes. I can see that." Millicent sat on her bed. 

"I don't want to be like them." Pansy admitted rather damply. "I don't want to be horrible to people and snobby and cruel. And father was awful to your mother and I don't want to be like him either. He wrote me about it thinking he was so clever. Your mother was so kind to us and my parents…" 

Millicent pulled the girl to sit next to her when she looked like she might start crying again. 

"I expect mother handled him." She replied. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"To apologize! And…and to ask for help. You have more sense then anyone in our year and you don't gossip. I am sorry for everything I've said to you." Pansy propped her elbows on her knees and leaned forward, covering her face with her hands. "I just can't see a way through it."

Millicent did some quick thinking. For one, anyone as vain as Pansy wouldn't go weeping at other people if she weren't sincere. Her complexion went all blotchy. Pink-and-white little girls weren't designed to cry prettily. And…well, she'd have to speak to her roommates first for that. But there was something Pansy could do to help herself. 

"Your family, well, did your mother marry out?" That was the first point to nail down.

"No." Pansy spoke faintly. Millicent poked a handkerchief onto her knee. "My parents worked it out so the girls were under mother's family and the boys were under father's. That's why Anemone and Alyssum and Marigold and I all have flower related names."

It sounded stupidly complicated to Millicent, but people made all kinds of compromises in their lives. 

"Who is the head of family for you, then?" 

"My Auntie Agapanthus."

Millicent blinked. Could be worse, she supposed. It could be Ranunculus. 

"Then write your aunt. Tell her everything you told me and ask if you can go and live with her. If, of course, she's better than your parents?"

"She's so much nicer. Auntie always says that you know a true gentleperson by their manners. She'll be so disappointed in me." By the twist in her voice, fresh tears might be forthcoming.

"Then you're going to have to face up to it. Be completely frank with her. I, er, I know you can do it, Parkinson. Just apply some common sense."

This nonsense, Millicent thought, was what you got when you overindulged children with things while giving them no attention. At least that was mother's opinion. 

"I will. Thank you." Watery and weepy, but also stronger than before. 

"And I'll speak to my roommates about asking Professor Snape for another bed in here. If you're serious about changing then you'll probably want to be away from the Greengrass set." 

"Would you?" Pansy looked up, damp and tear-streaked and blotchy but also hopeful. "When I've been awful to you for years?"

"It was last year and on the train, you goose. You weren't horrible before your parents shoved you at Malfoy and Greengrass. It isn't settled, but I'll ask." 

"Thank you. And…" Parkinson trailed off, biting her lip.

"What would you like help with? An essay?" 

"Would you cut my hair?" The question came in a rush.

"Pansy…what?" She'd tried to keep her distance, but that question shocked her back into their usual familiarity.

"Please, Mills?" Pansy begged. "You're good at it. I saw Ermengarde's hair and it looked so lovely. And mine is awful. It shouldn't be so long but mother thinks long hair is just so feminine and so refined. I almost refused to get on the train I felt such a fright! It's thin and straggly and it's even worse plaited because the plait is so thin! And I trust you."

Millicent sighed again. If she kept it up she'd be sent to Madame Pomfrey to check for breathing problems, no doubt. 

"Fine." She agreed. "But if anyone kicks up a fuss…"

"I'll say I bullied you into it." Pansy promised quickly. "Or, er, something like that. But I'll take the blame for it."

Because Millicent knew that anyone who really knew her also knew precisely how poorly bullying worked on her. Strength of character could sometimes be a drawback. 

"Stand up then. I know the spell to vanish it, too, so you'll be safe that way. How short do you want it?"

"Bob it. It waves when it's short, so maybe not a shingle or a crop?" Pansy answered. "But definitely short. And no fringe. I look a fright with a fringe."

"I think I know what to do for you." Millicent remembered a picture in a hairdresser's window. They called the style a 'girlish bob' and she thought it would suit Pansy. 

She raised her wand and Pansy shut her eyes. Magical hair cutting required a great deal of visualization. She held the image of that style in her head as she cast. Once, twice, and it was done. She vanished the long, shorn tresses before she spoke.

"Open your eyes, Pansy. I think you made an excellent choice."

Pansy scampered over to Millicent's dressing table and peered in the mirror. 

"Oh." She fingered the ends of her softly waved bob. "I'm…I'm pretty." Her lip wobbled dangerously. 

It was true, too. Pansy's long hair dragged down her face, making her retrousee (never pug or upturned, Millicent, always retrousee so we do not insult our customers) nose and narrow, pointed chin more prominent. The short hair combined with both features gave her a piquant air. 

"You look very well." Millicent let her admire herself for a moment. "We do need to get to breakfast, though."

"Do you think I'll cause a sensation?" Pansy asked excitedly. 

"Probably. We…we should probably go in separately. I'll speak to everyone after breakfast and we can go to Professor Snape tomorrow morning. I don't want it to get hot for you, so…can you pretend nothing's changed for twenty-four hours?" Millicent gathered her things again.

"I'll have to." Pansy agreed. "I'll write auntie tonight and ask about just going to her for holidays."

"And I have some ideas for how you can prove that you don't want to be how you were." Millicent finished as they left her room.

"Oh, Mills, no. You're going to make me do something horrid. I know you are."

"Mm." Millicent suppressed a smile at Pansy's dismay. "You can help Granger out with her clothes. And…how to behave here."

"Not Granger, Mills, please. How about the Lovegood firstie? She needs help?"

"After Granger, Pans. I think she could use some friends who aren't boys, you know."

"She bites her nails. Although…" Pansy trailed off, looking thoughtful. "Her hair is amazing. And she does know what colors are becoming. Maybe…well, I suppose I could help. Just a bit, though."

"Of course, Pansy. Come on, before Borley notices we're gone." 

Millicent chivvied her out of the SCR and, hopefully, into a better future.

One filled with less waspishness, in any case.

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Embroidery

Stiles wanted to try making Derek a floral sweater.

  For @benaya-trash​

(You can also read it on AO3, here)

  Stiles’ fingers were sore from how many times he’d accidentally pricked himself with the sewing needle, but he was too stubborn and persistent to give up.

He sat cross-legged on the lounge room floor, his gaze flicking from the tablet that was propped up on a pillow in front of him playing a YouTube video of an embroidery tutorial to the stretched out fabric that sat in his lap. He followed along – step by step – as he made a pinwheel flower, weaving the soft thread over and under the outstretched stitches until it slowly took the form of soft white petals. He sewed a few French knots into the centre of the flower with dark brown thread, making it look more like a flower—somewhere between a ranunculus and a lisianthus.

He’d been working on the sweater in secret for weeks; he wanted it to be a surprise for Derek. When he’d started out it seemed so overwhelming—the simple grey sweater seemed so drab but it was a large sweater and the thought of embroidering flowers across the top of the torso, the shoulders and the back, seemed like a daunting task; especially for someone who hadn’t done this before.

It’d taken a few tries; a lot of the flowers had been sewn and unstitched and sewn again.

But now, after weeks of work, it was starting to fill out and Stiles was quite impressed with what he’d done.

The grey fabric was decorated with cream peonies, tall strands of pastel blue and faded yellow snap dragons, white lilies of the valley that stood out vibrantly among the bowing stalks of the other flowering blossoms—their petals stitched together with different shades of blue thread. Silver and white thread had been wound together to make bundles of Queen Anne’s Lace – the small flowers made of French knots.

Crisp white gladiolus flowers stretched upwards across the shoulders, the tips of the flowers still green, with small white buds of flowers ready to blossom.

A few feathery stitches made the outstretched vines that connected the flowers along the edges of the pattern, where he blossoms thinned out and faded back into the fabric of the sweater.

The empty spaced were filled in with French knots made of baby blue thread and the off white and pale yellow outstretched stitched of bundled petals that looked like dandelions and daisies hidden beneath the other flowers.

Finally, dark green leaves, vines and budding stalks were layered over and under the embroidered flowers, filling out the foliage and making the pattern look complete.

Stiles tied off the end of the thread, setting aside the needle as he unfastened the embroidery hoop and laid the sweater out across his lap.

He felt a spark of pride ignite a warmth in his chest as he looked down at what he’d accomplished.

It wasn’t as brightly coloured or as bold as the other floral sweaters that Derek owned, but he wanted one that was soft and calming, the light grey fabric of the sweater softened even further by the off white, cream, and pastel colours of the embroidery thread that covered the top of it. The boldest colours among the pattern were the dark green leaves and the crisp white flowers, but even they seemed muted among the arrangement.

A smile lit up his face. He had one last step to do and that was to hide the ugly stitched and knots underneath. He had originally thought to sew another layer into the sweater, but Melissa had found him some iron-on fabric that would seal it all in place.

He turned the sweater inside out and carried it into the laundry, turning on the iron and positioning the pieces of iron-on fabric that he had measured and cut out earlier.

Moments later, it was done. He turned the sweater back the right way and carried it back into the living room.

He cleared away the embroidery thread and needles, turned off the tablet and put the living room back the way it was before.

He glanced up at the clock, his heart skipping a beat as he realised what time it was.

Derek would be home any minute.

He quickly pulled out one of the small boxes they had stored away, lining it with tissue paper before folding up the sweater and putting it in the box. He laid the tissue paper over the top of it and put the lid on the box, tying a silky off white ribbon around it before carrying it upstairs and setting it down on the end of their bed.

He made his way downstairs and into the kitchen, switching on the kettle.

Moments later, he heard the front door open.

“Hi,” Stiles called out.

“Hi,” Derek replied.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Stiles asked.

“Yes, please,” Derek said, his voice softened by pleading. “Just give me a moment, though, I need to go change.”

“Okay.”

Derek made his way upstairs.

Stiles tried to slow his racing heart beat – tried to hide his anxiety – as he listened to Derek’s footsteps across the floorboards.

He heard him go into the bedroom, stop and come back out. He marched downstairs and into the kitchen.

“What’s this?” Derek asked, holding up the box.

“A present,” Stiles answered bluntly.

“A present?” Derek repeated.

“For you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you,” Stiles replied. “Now, open in.”

Derek pouted as he set the box down on the counter and untied the ribbon. He lifted the lid, unfolded the layers of tissue paper, and froze.

His expression softened as he looked down at the sweater.

He set the lid aside and carefully lifted the sweater out of the box, unfolding it and holding it up.

His pale aventurine irises sparkled as tears welled in his eyes. His lips trembled slightly as he took in the sight, completely lost for words.

“I made it for you,” Stiles said, hoping his nervousness didn’t show in his voice.

“You made it?” Derek asked, astounded.

“Well, I didn’t make the sweater, but I sewed the flowers onto it,” Stiles corrected himself.

Derek blinked in shock, adjusting his hold on the sweater and gently brushing his fingertips across the soft thread of the embroidered flowers.

“You made this… for me?” he said quietly, struggling to fight back his tears.

“Yeah,” Stiles answered slowly.

Derek gently set it back in the box, turning to Stiles and pulling him into his arms. He buried his face in the curve of Stiles’ shoulder as the tears began to fall, soaking the fabric of Stiles’ shirt.

Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek, letting out a sigh of relief.

He liked it.

“I love you,” Derek said, his voice muffled by Stiles’ chest.

Stiles let out a breathless chuckle, craning his head to press a soft kiss to Derek’s temple. “I love you too.”

Derek drew back slowly, using the sleeve of his jacket to wipe away the tears that dampened his cheeks. He looked at Stiles lovingly.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

A small smile turned up the corners of Stiles’ lips. “I ask myself the same question every day.”

“What, what did you do to deserve me?” Derek teased, laughing quietly.

“Yes,” Stiles joked. He stepped closer, bringing his lips to Derek’s in a tender loving kiss.

The kettle finished boiling as Stiles drew back slowly. He offered Derek a kind smile as he turned to make him a cup of tea and as he turned back Derek was already pulling the sweater on over his head.

He straightened out the hem, looking down at it and gently running his fingers over the stitches. Another wave of tears welled in his eyes.

“Enjoy it while you can; I’m only going to steal it off you in a week,” Stiles said, trying to stop Derek from crying.

Derek let out a small laugh.

“You’re never getting this one,” he said, hugging himself. “I love it too much.”

Stiles felt the sense of achievement and pride fill his chest again.

Derek took another step forward, gently taking the cup of tea from Stiles’ hand and setting it down on the counter. He wrapped his arms around Stiles’ waist and pulled him close, smiling sweetly as he said, “And I love you.”

[sesamestreep]

stack the deck with wild cards (chapter 5)

(read on AO3)

(start from the beginning)

SUMMARY: Valentine’s Day arrives, and so does Jyn’s appointment. 

A/N: Second to last chapter, same warnings as before (TW: pregnancy, abortion, unsafe sex), check the AO3 links above for more details. We’re almost done, folks! Last chapter is just a little epilogue because I’m corny like that, and I should have it up by tomorrow or the day after at the latest. I’m sending you all imaginary bouquets of flowers for sticking with me this far!!

On the day of her appointment, Jyn wakes up to the third alarm she set for herself, which has got to be some sort of record, since she sets around twelve on a normal day and she set about twenty for today so she could be sure she wouldn’t miss her appointment. It gives her way more time than she actually needs to get ready, and she’s too nervous to eat anything, so she can’t even kill the extra time by making herself breakfast. She takes a long shower, because her roommate is away for the weekend and can’t give her a hard time about it, and puts on an outfit that’s comfortable enough to come home in after the procedure, and contemplates actually styling her hair, just for the hell of it, but then discards the idea as silly.

The buzzer for the door goes off while she is trying to think of a better way to waste time and distract herself, and she’s impressed with how early Bodhi is. She presses the button to let him in, just as her phone starts ringing. Bodhi’s name and photo (a selfie he took with a flower crown filter when she wasn’t guarding her phone carefully enough after one of their gigs) pop up on the display. She swipes at the screen to answer it, feeling confused.

“Hey, I just let you in,” she says, warily. “That was you, right?”

“Not exactly,” Bodhi says. “Listen, you’re going to hate me for this, but—”

She panics immediately at his tone and interrupts. “Bodhi, please, you have to come with me, okay? You promised and I—I need you!”

“Jyn, I would never abandon you. I just did something slightly annoying because I thought it might help.”

“What did you do?”

“I sent an emissary in my place,” he replies, managing to sound guilty and proud of himself at the same time. “He really wouldn’t stop asking about you, and he seemed so worried, that I thought it would be—”

“Please tell me you didn’t send Cassian to accompany me to my abortion,” she says, pressing her forehead against the wall. This cannot be happening.

“Listen, I will understand if you never forgive me, but you’re both being complete idiots about this whole thing. Just tell him you like him, and let him take care of you like he so desperately wants to.”

“Bodhi, this is not some sort of romantic comedy, okay? I’m going to get an abortion. This is not any person’s idea of a dream date!”

“Of course it’s not. I know that,” Bodhi says. “But it’s not a dealbreaker for him either.”

Jyn rolls her eyes, even though he can’t see it. “And how would you even know that?”

“Because I asked him.”

“You…?” She looks at her phone in horror, as if that will change what she’s just heard. “You asked him if it was a dealbreaker?”

“No, I asked if he was still interested in you,” he replies, casually. Like this is no big deal.

“And what did he say?”

“Jyn, he’s at your doorstep,” Bodhi says, patiently. “If that’s not answer enough, ask him yourself.”

She closes her eyes, hoping that will somehow put an end to the whirlwind of emotions she’s feeling. She’s obviously annoyed with Bodhi for putting her in this position when she’s already stressed, but she also can’t deny that she does want to know Cassian’s answer to that question. Mostly, though, she just wishes none of this was happening, that she could just go back in time and make better choices two months ago.

“If you’re really uncomfortable, I will meet you at Planned Parenthood for your appointment,” Bodhi continues, when she doesn’t say anything for a few moments. “I would never actually leave you hanging.”

“No, of course not! You would just shamelessly meddle in my love life on the day I’m having an outpatient medical procedure,” she says, even though she does feel better. There’s a reason Bodhi’s her best friend, after all.

“Well, you’ve always done very well under pressure,” he jokes, and she laughs before she can stop herself.

“If this blows up in my face,” she says, just as she hears the knock on the door, “you’ll owe me forever.”

“I’m good with that,” Bodhi says, breezily. “Give Cassian a kiss for me.”

“Go to hell.”

“Text me if you need me. Love you. Bye!”

Jyn hangs up without responding, because she’s still in a mood with him, regardless of how good his intentions might have been. She starts to fidget with her hair before she realizes that’s stupid—Cassian already knows what he’s getting into—and goes for the door just as another knock echoes through the apartment. She undoes the lock and the deadbolt and the chain with clumsy fingers and opens the door to find Cassian there in what must be his casual weekend clothes and a heavy winter parka. He’s also, inexplicably, holding a bouquet of flowers.

“Are those flowers?” She asks, like an idiot, before she can stop herself. She clears her throat, trying to soften her tone and hide her surprise. “I mean—Did you bring me flowers?”

He gestures upwards with them, as if he’s just remembered they exist. “These?” He asks, glancing at them. “No, actually, these are for the other woman I’m accompanying to an abortion today.”

Jyn feels a smile start to form. “God, I hope that’s not true,” she says, before realizing it sounds kind of possessive. “I mean, for your sake. I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with this situation twice. That’s all.”

“It was a joke, Jyn.” He smiles, embarrassed, and then adds, “You’re the only person I’ve impregnated recently.”

“That you know of,” she replies, trying to keep things light, but he doesn’t take the hint.

“The only one,” he says, devastatingly sincere, instead of joking with her. Then, he hands her the bouquet.

She looks down at it, at a loss for words momentarily. “Did I even say ‘hello’ to you yet?” She asks the flowers.

He laughs. “You didn’t, but I figure you’ll get around to it eventually.”

“Hi, Cassian,” she says. “Would you like to come in?”

“Sure.”

She steps aside to let him into the apartment and looks again at the flowers, a bouquet of ranunculus in different shades of orange, from peach to a dark cayenne color. She doesn’t know much of anything about flowers—how much they cost or what the nice ones are—but she feels like she might have picked these out herself if she’d seen them at the store and that’s all it takes to make her nervous again. She leaves Cassian to hang up his coat on his own and heads into the kitchen. She’s standing in front of the sink, lost for what to do next, when he joins her.

“Do you have a vase?” He asks, after a moment.

Jyn shakes her head. “I don’t think so,” she admits, before she laughs at herself. “Sorry. It’s just—No one’s ever bought me flowers before.”

“No one?”

“No. I’m going to kill them.”

Cassian blinks at her. “The….flowers?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that seems rude. You barely know them.”

“Not on purpose,” she says, closing her eyes to concentrate on not laughing again. “By neglect. I can’t take care of plants.”

“They’re basically dead already, Jyn. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m just saying, if this is some kind of test—”

“How would this be a test?”

“To see if I’m nurturing, or maternal, or—”

Cassian puts his hand on her back, gently, like he’s expecting her to shove him away at any second. “It’s not a test,” he says, carefully. “I thought we talked about this the other night…”

“We did, but—” she says, still staring at the flowers in her hands and unable to articulate what she’s thinking. “Why would you buy me flowers?”

He shrugs, looking lost himself. “I just thought it would be nice. It is Valentine’s Day, after all, and I know you’re probably fine, but you seemed a little stressed about the appointment the other night. So, I thought I should do something to cheer you up, if I could, and then there was a florist on the way here, so it felt like a sign. I don’t know why, really, I just thought that it would be a nice thing to do. But if you don’t like them—”

“I didn’t say that,” she says, cutting him off.

“Oh,” he says, surprised. “Okay.”

“You didn’t have to bring me anything, though. I told you I don’t care about Valentine’s Day.”

“Well, I do.”

“Really?”

“Apparently,” he says, looking away. He clears his throat, obviously looking for a change of subject. “If you cut the ends off of those stems, I’ll find something you can use as a vase.”

“You’re just inviting yourself to rummage through my entire kitchen now?” Jyn asks, feigning offense even as she’s grabbing the scissors to follow his directions.

“That’s exactly what’s happening, yes.”

By the time she’s finished with the stems, Cassian is back by her side, filling up a clear plastic sports bottle he found in one of the cabinets. He takes the flowers from her and begins arranging them in the bottle, cutting a few of them shorter so they sit better. He sets the whole thing on the counter to admire his handiwork and looks at her for approval.

“You can’t be serious,” she says.

“Why not?”

“It’s a water bottle!”

“So?”

“It looks silly.”

“It’s the best I could do on short notice,” he says, with a shrug. “Next time I buy you flowers, I’ll make sure to get you a proper vase too.”

“Next time?” Jyn asks, faintly.

“Yeah. Next time.” He pulls a dead leaf off of one of the stems and refuses to meet her eye.

“Cassian,” she says, interrupting him. “What are you doing?”

“Me? I’m clearly making an idiot out of myself.”

She puts a hand on his arm to get him to look at her. “You’re not, I promise. I just don’t know what’s happening right now.”

“I think you do, actually,” he says, carefully, like he’s afraid to keep going. He does anyway, though, after a moment. “I think you know what it means when someone shows up at your place with flowers and threatens to do it again in the near future. And I hope you know what it means that I want to go to this doctor’s appointment with you today. I mean, maybe I’m wrong, but I think I’m being very clear with my intentions.”

Jyn shakes her head, trying to get her thoughts in order. “You’re right. You are being clear. I’m just confused because—why would you want to date me?”

“Because I like you.”

“Right, but—and I know that I’m not actually supposed to do this, because it’s not sexy or confident or whatever, but—I don’t understand why,” she says. “I mean, I’ve made every step of this as difficult as possible for you and I wasn’t even trying to put you off. That’s just what I’m like in a relationship. So, why would you want to put yourself through that?”

Cassian finally stops fiddling with the flowers and really looks at her. “Right,” he says, his tone caught somewhere between offended and disbelieving. “Who would ever want to date someone like you? You’re just smart and creative and sarcastic, not to mention beautiful. It doesn’t make any sense why I’d want to be with you.”

“Cassian…”

He doesn’t let her interrupt, though. “No, actually, you know what? I don’t think you’re asking the right question here.”

“I’m not?” Jyn asks, baffled. She’s never really seen him upset like this before, aside from the glimpse of it she got the other night when he came over and she inadvertently hurt his feelings.

“No, you’re not,” he replies. “I don’t think I need to provide an itemized list of everything I like about you. I think you should take my word for it that I’m not trying to date you because I’m confused, or because I feel obligated to you in any way, or because I just don’t know you well enough. I’m not desperate and I don’t have low standards, either, in case that’s what you’re trying to tell yourself. I want to date you because I think we could be good together and because I want to get to know you better.

“So, clearly, I know what I want. The important question, then, is: what do you want, Jyn?”

“I don’t know!” She responds immediately, without thinking, startled by how certain he is and how earnest. She knows, though, that answer won’t actually satisfy him. More importantly, he also just deserves a real answer at this point, even if the idea of trying to put how she feels into words makes her queasy. Either that or it’s just her pregnancy rearing its ugly head again.

She takes a moment, once she’s had her little outburst, to really think about it and she sighs before she dives in. “I’m sorry, it’s just—All of this has been so confusing, from the very beginning. I just wanted to hook up with you one time, so I could put myself out there again and feel like somebody might actually want me. And it worked, but not in the way I thought it would. I thought it could just be a rebound, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you, afterwards. I still can’t.

“You put this idea into my head that I could have someone like you, someone who gives a fuck about me and what I want, who respects me and likes me, even though I’m always late and my apartment is always a mess and I don’t have a 401K or whatever, and that scared the hell out of me, because it was just supposed to be a casual, one-time thing. But I knew, after the first time, that it couldn’t really be like that between us. I knew you’d give me anything I asked for, but I just wasn’t ready to ask for more. Which is why I never called, afterwards.”

“What about now?” He asks. He doesn’t sound hurt, or like he’s judging her; he just wants to know. “Are you ready now?”

“I don’t know,” she admits, carefully. “I’m not sure I’m in a place where I can be someone’s girlfriend again just yet. I’m still dealing with a lot of things that came up during the breakup. And it wouldn’t be fair to ask you to wait, or put up with that, when none of it is your fault.”

“I don’t have to ‘put up with’ you, Jyn. I like you, remember?”

“Even now? When I’m being confusing?”

He smiles. “Even now.”

“What if we made a compromise?”

“We don’t have to do this. Really,” he says, shaking his head. “I understand your reservations and I respect them, even if I hate the idea that your idiot of an ex-boyfriend gets to ruin anything else for you after he’s already put you through so much.”

Jyn just blinks at him, confused, though she’s not sure why. Nobody likes her ex, but hearing Cassian talk about it is somehow different. They barely knew each other when she was dating Reece. She didn’t think he would have left much of an impression. “You think he’s an idiot?” She asks.

“I think he’s the stupidest person to ever live,” he says, with more conviction than Jyn’s ever heard from him, which is saying something. Cassian tends to have strong opinions about most things. “Not only because he treated you so terribly, but also because he let you go in the end.”

“Why didn’t you ever mention this before?”

Cassian shrugs, helplessly, like she’s backed him into a corner. “Well, I was trying very hard to seem like a normal guy who didn’t have a crush on you, and bashing your ex-boyfriend seemed like an easy way to show my hand, so I avoided talking about it with you.”

She can’t help it, at that point. She just needs to get this out of her system, she rationalizes, as she puts her arms around his neck to drag him down for a kiss. It’s just that not kissing him was getting so annoying, when he was just standing there being so handsome and patient and perfect. He leans forward, chasing her a bit, but she pulls away after only a moment.

“I mentioned a compromise…” she says, watching him cautiously.

“I’m listening,” he replies, with his eyes still closed.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to be in a relationship again—not yet, I mean. But I do know that sleeping with you didn’t get rid of the feelings I have for you, and ignoring them and you for two months didn’t help either.” She bites her lip. “I’m sorry for that, by the way.”

“I know,” he says, quietly, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry too. I should have—”

Jyn puts her fingertips to his lips to stop him. “Wait,” she says. “Let me finish.”

He nods, but says nothing.

“Clearly, I can’t ignore my feelings for you, or pretend I’m just interested in having casual sex with you. So, what if we did just date ? We could hang out and get to know each other better without worrying about what we’re calling it or what kind of future we might have.” She moves her hand to grasp at his shirt, as if that will somehow convey her sincerity. “I know that probably sounds like I’m letting you down easy, but you have to believe me when I say that’s not it.”

“Okay.”

“I just really need to take things slow right now because I—Wait, did you just say, ‘okay’?” she asks.

“Yes,” Cassian says with a small smile, the one she’s starting to recognize he always has when she’s acting like an idiot, as if he’s charmed by it instead of annoyed.

“What, just like that?”

“Yes, just like that. Listen, I have my fair share of trust issues, too. I’m not going to pretend I don’t. So, I can’t say that I really believe you’re going to wake up one day and want to be in a relationship with me, because that’s just not how my brain works. But I really want to believe that and, if you do change your mind or decide this doesn’t work for you, I’ll still have gotten more time with you than if I walked away right now. So, yes, I agree to your terms.”

“Well, good,” Jyn says, anti-climatically. She really thought that he was going to require much more convincing. She’s not sure what to do with herself now. “Uh, actually, that’s great. Because I got us reservations at this really cool place this morning. I think you’re really going to like it.”

He lifts an eyebrow at her, thinking it over for a second before it clicks. “Are you talking about Planned Parenthood?”

“Yep.”

He shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous,” he says, even as he leans in to kiss her again. She doesn’t bother thinking of something clever to say in response, she just pulls him in closer. It’s every bit as good as she remembers, for all they’re just standing in her kitchen and she’s wearing a ratty old sweater and about to get an abortion. She lets herself get swept away in it, despite the very practical conversation they’ve just had and all of her concerns, and allows the possibility that she might get this, Cassian kissing her and holding her face in his perfect hands and making her feel warm and melt-y, for a long time yet.

After a few moments like that, Jyn pulls back suddenly as she remembers something. “When I said I wanted to ‘take things slow,’ I hope you know I didn’t mean it sexually,” she says, adamant. “I think we should have sex again as soon as possible. With protection this time, obviously.”

Cassian laughs, and she can feel it as he kisses her neck. “Thank you for the clarification.”

“So you agree?”

“That we should have sex soon? Or about using protection?” He asks, and then shakes his head. “What am I saying? The answer is ‘yes, absolutely’ to both of those things.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“We do have to get to your appointment, though.”

“Well, clearly I didn’t mean right now .”

He laughs again. “I know,” he says, looking so enamored of her just then that it renders her momentarily speechless. She’s not sure anyone’s ever looked at her like that before. “But my point stands.”

“Yes, okay, you’re right,” she says, trying her best to sound annoyed with the reminder, for all that she’s actually stupidly happy. She kisses him again, just because she can, and it successfully distracts them for another few moments until Cassian pulls back with a groan.

“Jyn, seriously…”

“I did mention that I’m always late, right? This is just something you’re going to have to get used to.”

“I’m calling us a cab,” he says, stepping back as he gets his phone out of his pocket. He waves a finger at her, trying so hard to look stern that she can only laugh in response. “No more distractions.”

“A cab? What are we, Rockefellers?”

“No, but we’ll be late otherwise,” he replies, already dialing. “And besides, I’m not going to be cheap on our first date.”

“I was kidding about that,” Jyn says, stepping close enough that she can toy with the string from the hood of his sweatshirt rather than look into his eyes. “We do not have to consider this our first date.”

He reaches out with his free hand to run a thumb over her cheekbone. “It’s too late for that,” he says, while he waits for someone at the other end of the line to pick up. “I’m already considering it. Go get your jacket.”

She gives him a small salute, which she’s immediately embarrassed of, but that same fond look passes over his features again before she turns away. Her nerves about the appointment come back when she’s alone in her room, putting on her coat and getting ready to leave. She knows it’s perfectly routine, just an outpatient procedure, but she can’t help but worry that something totally unexpected will go wrong. And now she has to worry about Cassian being around afterwards, and what she’ll say or do and how it might scare him off completely.

That fear lasts only until the moment she comes out of her room to find him waiting for her by the front door. His eyes light up when they see her, there’s just no other way to describe it, and the nerves suddenly feel more like anticipation than dread. This is their first date, she reminds herself, unorthodox though it may be. She smiles back, still a little uncertain but trying to hold onto the idea that this could be good, that this thing between them could work.

“Shall we?” He asks, like they’ve got reservations at the Plaza and not an appointment at Planned Parenthood, and holds out his hand to her. She takes it and, for that moment, she doesn’t even have to try to feel certain about this. She just does.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: Romantic Dukexiety, Romantic Loginceit

Word Count: 1971 Words

Summary: Logan ducks out to prove a point but it doesn’t work out when the light sides don’t care.

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit/Morally Grey Deceit, Morally Grey Remus, Unsympathetic/Abusive Patton, Ducking Out, Manipulation, Physical Abuse, Violence, Accidental Injury, Head Injury, let me know if I should add anything else.

Note: Anything like ‘this’ is an thoughts. Bold like this is a lie.

Somebody’s Gonna Get Hurt

He could feel their joy with his leaving. It made his chest burn with anger, they were supposed to care about him leaving! Logan growled slightly at the subconscious and decided to wander around until he got to the dark side of the conscious.

Both dark sides who had exposed themselves to Thomas were outside behind a house almost like to the Mind Palace but more cathedral-like and castley than the home Roman had created. He could see spiral staircase towers.

Two of windows on the back two towers were open revealing a library and a craft room. It looked like a beautiful dream to see the castle Remus had made for just him and Deceit. And the garden the snakelike side kept around it made it even prettier.

Deceit was taking care of a bed of what looked like  and was about to move onto the cymbidium orchids and yellow ranunculus flowers while Remus was running around with two dogs, a husky and a Samoyed, seemingly playing with them.

Deceit was occasionally throwing a glance to Remus to check on the green side as the demented side conjured dog toys like no tomorrow until he got tackled by two fluffy, happy dogs. He wanted to be a part of a family like that. Logan nearly froze and stopped breathing when Remus noticed him.

“Oh, hey, Logibear! Whatcha doing on this side of the Mind?” The creative side greeted him, getting Deceit’s full attention and the deceitful side turned to look at them.

“Logan?” The yellow side asked, brushing his front clean of the dirt from the garden.

“Hi.” He greeted them awkwardly.

“Are you ducking out?” Remus asked, looking into the dark subconscious Logan had come from.

“I am, yes.” Logan admitted.

“Well, you can always not visit us, Logan.” Deceit reminded him.

“I’ll keep that invitation in mind, thank you.” The blue side accepted.

“Don’t be safe!” Deceit called after him.

“Wouldn’t want you getting torn limb from limb!” Roman chirped happily. “Sorry.” The demented side added not a second later.

“Thank you, I will.” So he retreated back to the darkness to move his room back since it wasn’t even working, the light sides weren’t coming to get him even after a week when it had only taken a day of Virgil being ducked out.

He tried to ignore the gnawing feeling at Patton’s thinly veiled disappointment and Virgil’s discomfort at him coming back. He even managed a smile when Roman didn’t notice the difference because he’d been so busy all week. At least Roman has a seeable reason to ignore his absence.

So he made good on his acceptance of Deceit’s offer and began stopping by the dark castle to inform them of the current situation of the Mindscape or even just to be around people who actually listened. It was a complete turn visiting them than visiting the light sides.

The lights all stayed in their rooms and only came out for discussions. But here, both occupants were always out of their rooms and keeping each other company. Hell, the first time he’d come over Remus was dancing around the living room to music while Deceit and Logan had made tea and dinner in the kitchen.

They interacted and it didn’t feel forced like it did with the light sides. Logan liked it here, he felt wanted. So he kept going, and, eventually, got accepting into their odd, happy little family. Then Patton and Virgil found out where he disappeared to on Fridays.

“You can’t just leave us, Logan!” Patton yelled at him.

“I’m not!” Logan insisted.

“You’re a dark side!” Patton snapped.

“I visit them and we talk about space and philosophy and fantasy!” Logan shot back.

“Lo, you should leave.” Virgil croaked out.

“What?” Logan asked.

“You need to leave! Dark sides aren’t allowed in the light!” Virgil snapped at him. Logan glared at them but left to Deceit and Remus again and the blue and green sides moved his room to the castle Remus lovingly called the Mind Castle. It was huge inside, it made his room bigger with more capacity for creative control.

He loved being here. But there was the issue of discussions being difficult. He would still show up to debates like nothing had changed, or, at least until Remus showed up again and Patton sighed and groaned and whined about having two dark sides present.

“Ugh, why would you dark sides leave us alone!?” Roman visibly recoiled at that.

“Patton, what-” Roman tried to ask.

“Shut up, Princey! Don’t side with the dark sides!” Virgil snapped at him.

“What are you talking about?” Thomas asked.

“Patton and Virgil told me I’m a dark side so I had to move my room to the dark side of your mind.” Logan explained.

“Hey, you didn’t say anything about being forced!” Remus looked at the blue side.

“I felt the reason of my leaving was unnecessary to share. I’m not one of you, after all, you wouldn’t truly care.” Remus gave an offended scoff.

“Like hell would I not care! You’re family, of course I care! Dee loves you and that means you’re family to me! I care about you just the same as I care about Dee and Virgil!” Remus exclaimed to make his point. Virgil shifted away.

“Virgil, you’re still a dark side?” Patton asked darkly.

“No, I’m not! I swear! I’ve changed, Pat! I’m not one of them!” Virgil tried to convince the aqua side.

“I took you in! I accepted you!” Virgil backed up on the stairs and nearly tripped on them.

“Pat, you’re scaring me.” Virgil gripped the bannister, trying to move back away from the fatherly side.

“I’ll give you something to be scared of.” Patton growled and stalked to the purple side, grabbing into his hair and smacking him across the face. Remus swung his morningstar toward Patton, intending revenge for hurting Virgil. But, unable to stop the trajectory from where Patton once stood, he couldn’t stop his weapon from colliding with Virgil when Patton moved out of the way.

“Virgil!” The green side exclaimed, his weapon poofing from existence just the second before Virgil hit the ground. Remus dropped to his knees and checked over the the anxious side’s unconscious body. “Vee, come on, wake up.” Remus tried to convince him, but he didn’t.

“He’s useless anyway. Let him die.” Patton snapped, kicking Virgil’s feet out of his way as he went back to his spot.

“This is your fault! You did this! You moved him into the way!” Remus screamed at him, knocking the aqua side over, anger practically tangible as Thomas came over to check on Virgil too, shaking his side a bit in the an attempt to wake him.

“Don’t move him. He might head trauma. Let me see him.” Logan told him, turning on the flashlight on his phone and opened Virgil’s eyes to look into them, finding uneven pupils. “He has a concussion.” Logan announced as he turned off his phone’s flashlight.

“How dare you-” Patton tried to yell at Remus for making him fall.

“Shut up! Just shut up! You made me hurt him!” Remus screamed at him, trying to stem the blood flow from Virgil’s head. Roman soon joined him once his shock wore off, trying to heal the wound. Patton angrily sank out, practically fuming.

“Please be alive, Vee. I love you too much for you to leave me like this.” Virgil gave a soft groan, moving a little bit to curl up more. Remus bursted into tears at the movement. “Virgil, please wake up.” Remus practically begged the purple side.

“Ree?” Virgil whined, eyes refusing to open, but he was at least responsive.

“Virgil, can you open your eyes for me?” Logan asked him.

“I’m tired, mom.” Virgil slurred out.

“Virgil, I’m not your mother, please open your eyes for me.” Virgil opened his eyes slowly, eyes darting around, still uneven, but he had managed to open them and was, again, responsive.

“Virgil, do you feel any pain?” Logan asked.

“Too loud.” Virgil tried to cover his ears but Logan held his hands away from his head.

“So you have a headache?” Logan asked.

“Let me go, Patton! I’ll be good, I promise!” Virgil tried to fight away from him, beginning to hypervenilate and have an anxiety attack.

“Virgil, breathe. Patton isn’t here, he can’t hurt you.” Logan assured him, which calmed the anxious side down significantly and he stopped fighting away.

“I don’t feel good.” Virigl warned. Roman immediately conjured a bucket that the purple side immediately threw up into.

“He definitely has head trauma. I’d need to run tests later once I make sure he doesn’t have any seizures.” Logan alerted them.

“Seizures?” Remus asked, eyes shining with fear. He understood that look. He was scared he’d hurt Virgil forever, he was scared he’d ruined Virgil from ever functioning the same again.

“He’ll be okay, Remus. Even if he does end up having seizures. It wasn’t your fault, I’m sure he knows that.” Logan assured him. Virgil groaned, trying to stand stubbornly but Roman kept him from moving around too much and Thomas supported his stumbling anxiety.

“Virgil, come on. You need to lie down.” Logan admonished him, Roman thankfully having the mind to sit Virgil on the couch and keep him there. Virgil was just confused, Logan knew, but his patient was quite frustrating when he couldn’t keep a good handle on him.

“Good, thank you, Roman. Remus can you conjure a medical pole? I’ll need to get saline and anti-seizure medication into him somehow.” Logan told the twins.

“On it, Teach.” Remus did as Logan asked and Logan himself conjured the medical supplies, saline, and depakote himself. Virgil didn’t seem to want to move this time, even while Logan rolled up his sleeve and put the needle into his elbow.

“Virgil, you can move your arm if you want, it’s not a needle, it’s tubing to get the saline in.” Purple eyes gazed at him for a moment before the other side gave a groan and turned to his side, going back to sleep.

Logan didn’t want to move him once he’d fallen asleep. So they all stayed there for the time being. Remus did summon Deceit, though, so the snake could be informed of the situation.

After a bit of the IV going, Logan put a dose of the anti-seizure medication into the IV and Virgil whined in his sleep but didn’t complain much more than that. That night, they all took shifts to watch Virgil to make sure he’d be okay.

And, in the morning, Virgil seemed much the same but that was pretty expected, he’d need a bit of help for a little bit while he healed. It shouldn’t take more than a week with his healing ability as a side.

And, now that Patton was lurking in the shadows, Logan returned to the light sides, taking Remus and Deceit along with him and the twins combined their much-loved homes to be half of either one, a wonderful mix of everyone as the rooms expanded to the size of Remus’ castle rooms while retaining the comfy, cozy feeling Roman’s creations gave off.

Virgil eventually healed right up well enough and Logan got his ‘fairy tale ending’ with Deceit and Roman. Logan wouldn’t complain with how cute Deceit was cuddled up to his front, asleep, as Roman laid behind him, backs pressed together as the romantic side worked on his current writing on his phone. He couldn’t ask for more.

Taglist: @youre-not-alive @vicdehart @emile-crunchybutter

[clydeloganisababe]

What I Wouldn’t Do (1/3)

Sometimes, you just need to write the incredibly niche, indulgent smut you wish to see in the world. So, in honor of Adam’s latest SNL appearance, please allow me to present a flower shop ABO au featuring the one, the only, the king, Robbie the Biscutie.

The whole thing is going to be 3 chapters, with the third chapter being a no holds barred smut-fest. Chapter 1 is the meet-cute, Chapter 2 is the date, Chapter 3 is the heat/rut.  Now on AO3.

I’d love to dedicate this fic to other writers whose work has sustained and nourished me over the years and to other Robbie enthusiasts, especially @theweddingofthefoxes. Let me know if you want to be removed or added to any updates! 

Author’s note: Robbie has a girlfriend at the start of this mess, but there’s no cheating.

And now, without further ado:

~~~~~

Many customers, regardless of their designations, liked the sweet smell of the shop. Actual product varied by day but there were almost always roses and lilies in stock, which incidentally were among the most fragrant flowers. When customers weren’t looking for floral arrangements they could also sample the various soaps, diffusers, oils, candles, and perfumes that littered the store front. The barrage of scents was almost overwhelming, but that was how you wanted it. You took great care to hide your own scent, but it was still difficult to hide the odor of an unmated omega without a little extra help. Working in a fragrant shop made it that much easier to blend in, and for that you were grateful. Decorum, and at times your safety, depended on it.

There was an enormous wedding this weekend so by Tuesday you were already in pre-production. You were in the middle of taping floral foam to a tray when you heard the tell tale tinkle of the door bell.

“Welcome! Come on in, I’ll be right with you!” you called, drying your hands on a nearby towel. You were almost to the front when it hit you: the unmistakable musk of alpha pheromones. You whipped around, trying to find the source.

Striding up to the counter was an absolute beast of a man. His navy suit draped attractively against his broad frame, but his languid strides revealed rippling muscles underneath the wool. The first button of his brightly patterned shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a flash of gold at his throat. His messy black waves were pulled back into a knot at the back of his head. You typically thought that man buns were silly, but this guy was pulling it off.

The rational part of your brain said that he looked like a bad New York stereotype. But the secret, primal part of you whispered he’s big and broad and smells like sandalwood and cinnamon, he’d give you healthy pups and a big fat knot.

How could you smell him this clearly? You were on very strong suppressants and shouldn’t be able to smell him, let alone separate the notes of his scent. Maybe he wasn’t on blockers? He looked like the type.

As you slipped behind the counter, his dark gaze finally found yours and a ripple of understanding passed between you both. There you are. Judging by the look on his face he could clearly smell you too.

“Hi, do you need some help today or are you just browsing?” It’s easy to slip into the friendly, customer service persona, even when you are beginning to tremble at his proximity.

“Yeah, I need something for my girl.” His voice is a deep, rough rumble. Fuck. Of course he has a girlfriend. You sniff delicately, trying to be subtle. He’s got a girl, but you can’t smell anything lingering on him. Beta.

You go over all the details as professionally as you can: he needs the bouquet tonight, she likes roses, money’s not a problem because my girl deserves the best. “I wanna pick it up at 5 o’clock sharp. I’m surprising her at dinner and I wanna to be on time.” He’s going on about his girlfriend, but his dark eyes linger over your form. He feels it too.

“Of course! I’ll have the bouquet ready for you right at 5.” It’s an innocuous statement, but his eyes darken at your quick obedience. He pays with a shiny black card.

“Thanks sweetheart, I’ll see you at 5.” He turns to leave and you can’t help but watch his thick thighs as he slips out the door, bell chiming in his wake. You want to be mad about the pet name, but you aren’t. You hope he’ll say it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 pm rolls around and the hot alpha from before is punctual. His credit card had the name Robert on it, but you don’t think it suits him. Robert sounds much too formal. Does he go by Bob? Maybe Rob?

As promised, his rose bouquet is waiting for him on the counter, spilling out from a delicate crystal vase. You chose pink and white roses, but added some burgundy ranunculus and white anemones for texture, framing everything with eucalyptus, salal, and seeded eucalyptus. The effect is soft and romantic.

“I wanted you to see it before I wrapped it up for you,” you explain. He remains silent, inspecting the bouquet. “Do you like it?” You shift nervously. He’s taking a long time to answer.

“It’s perfect,” he finally announces. “Better than I imagined. She’s gonna love it.” She’s gonna love it. Right.

“Excellent! I’ll wrap that up for you.” You snap to work, trying not to waste anymore time.

“Did you make that?” he asks, leaning against the counter. You catch another whiff of his sweet, spicy scent and you stifle a whimper.

“I did!” you offer, topping off the plastic wrap with a cream ribbon. He whistles lowly. “Stunning work, sweetheart.” He takes the vase from you, his hands engulfing yours for the briefest moment. “I’ll have to remember this place for next time.” You practically gulp. “Please do! I’d be happy to make you something else.” He holds your gaze for just a moment too long, then turns and slinks out the door, off to a date with his girlfriend. Goddammit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life moves on and you try to forget about the hot alpha with the incredible scent, who pinned you with his gaze and complimented your work. Until the next week when the store bell tinkles and the warm telltale notes of sandalwood drift through the shop. Your gland itches and you snap to attention.

“Welcome back!” you call to him as he swaggers confidently up to the counter.

“You remember me?” he teases.

“I do. You’re very memorable,” you admit, blushing. He smirks, pleased with himself. Your gland prickles and you clench your fists, resisting the urge to scratch it in front of him. “So what can I get you this time?”

“I need something classy. Elegant.” He looks at you expectantly, like you know exactly what that means.

“Of course. What’s the occasion?” You hope your probing isn’t too obvious.

“I wanna surprise my girl. She’s been going through a rough time lately.” He briefly looks away and seems momentarily embarrassed. Trouble in paradise? You suddenly feel bad for flirting with him.

“Absolutely. Would she prefer pastels or jewel tones?”

“Whichever one, just make it real pretty.” Fair.

“You got it. What’s your budget?” You hate this question, but it’s necessary.

He smirks. “Money’s not an issue.”

“Alright. Do you want to pick up your arrangement or should I have it delivered?”

“I’ll come by around 5.”

“Perfect! I’ll see you then!” You flash him a winning customer service smile and he extends his hand. “I’m Robbie, by the way.”

Robbie. His hand is huge and warm. You give him your name and unable to resist, you overextend your hand, slipping a finger outside of his grip to brush the gland at his wrist. His scent spikes with arousal, flooding your nose with his intoxicating scent. He growls softly, sending a shiver through you. You know you’re playing with fire, but you can’t let go. Don’t leave me, alpha. He finally releases your hand and stalks out of the shop, leaving you an itchy, unsatisfied mess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You fall into a routine. Robbie comes in every Friday, orders an arrangement for his girlfriend, you both flirt, then he leaves. You look forward to it. You know it’s not going anywhere, that he’s just the hot alpha customer and you’re just the cute omega shop girl, but seeing him still makes your day.

In fact, he’s due any minute to pick up his arrangement. The bell tinkles and you immediately perk up. But the scent is off, it’s a little too woodsy. It’s another alpha.

“Welcome, how can I he-“

He cuts you off. “Hi, do you have any yellow roses?”

“I don’t believe so, but let me check.” You scan the back room and peer through the coolers. You’ve got a handful of spray roses, but you can tell that’s not really what he’s looking for.

“I’m so sorry, we only have small spray roses, were you interested in an-“

“Well, do you have anything yellow?” he huffs. His smell is bitter.

“I’m sorry, we really don’t.”

“You really don’t? What kind of florist doesn’t have yellow flowers?” You miss the tinkling of the shop bell, but it’s impossible to miss a sudden waft of sandalwood.

“I’d be happy to order some for you, I could get them by tom-“

“My anniversary is tonight! What good does that do me?” You fumble for an answer, but Robbie doesn’t.

“The fuck you say to her? Is that how you talk to a lady?” Robbie barks from across the shop. He barrels towards the front and the other alpha visibly shrinks before him, his damp scent souring with fear.

“This is so unprofessional,” the other alpha whines. Robbie starts to crowd him but he immediately backs away.

“Then find another florist before I throw you out myself,” Robbie growls. The other alpha shoots you one last glare, but slinks out of the shop with his tail between his legs.

Robbie finally turns to look at you and you exhale a shaky breath that you didn’t realize you where holding. “Robbie, you didn’t have to do that,” you insist weakly.

“Yes I did,” he comes behind the counter and wraps you in his arms. “I couldn’t let him talk to you like that,” You bury your face into his chest and he purrs, a deep rumble. A shudder ripples through you. “Thank you for saving me,” you murmur, running your hand along his spine. “Any time, doll,” he chuffs.

You linger against him, much longer than is appropriate, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You nuzzle into his chest, soothed by his purring. Robbie’s hands wander up your back and one settles between your shoulder blades, fingertips just shy of your mating gland. You tremble at its proximity. The other snakes its way along your ribcage, just shy of your breast.

The shop bell tinkles and you break away from him, the moment shattered. ‘I’ll be right back with your arrangement,” you murmur. You hand him the flowers and he fixes you with one last smoldering look.

“Have a nice dinner,” you offer weakly. It breaks the spell and he finally looks away. “Right,” he grumbles, taking the vase. He moves towards the door but he stops, looking back. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone,” he calls. You smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Robbie.” He gives you one last lingering smirk, but then he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week drags by slowly. Robbie hasn’t placed an order yet, which is odd, and you wonder if you’ll ever see him again. Maybe your obvious connection is too much, too inappropriate. He has a girlfriend and that should be the end of it, you begrudgingly remind yourself. But you’ve been itchy and antsy all week, and you’re worried that you’ve started something out of your control. Like your heat. You should have another month or so to go, but the close proximity of a compatible partner can still mess with even the best suppressants.

The shop phone rings and it’s a welcome distraction. “Hey, doll,” he rumbles through the receiver. Both relief and anticipation shudder through you.

“Hey, I was beginning to wonder if I would hear from you this week,” even you can hear the needy whine in your voice. “What can I get you this time?”

“Actually, I was hoping you could help me with that.” You can hear him shifting on the other end of the line. “I want you to make something that you would like. Can be anything you want, big or small, any budget, I just want you to make something that you would want.”

“Really? I’m surprised you are letting me decide, you always seem to know exactly what you want.” You can’t help but tease him. Designer’s choice was always a popular option, but it’s odd coming from someone as decisive as Robbie.

“Oh, I do babydoll, make no mistake about that,” he growls. “When do you get off work on Friday?” You gulp. “Usually around 6 unless there’s an event. Nothing this week though.”

“Good. I’ll pick it up at 6.”

“Sounds great, see you then, Robbie”

“Bye, babe.” You both linger on the line, but you finally disconnect the call. It’s not weird, Robbie just likes your designs, you reason. It’s expected that a floral designer should design an arrangement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately for Robbie, you have expensive taste. You lose yourself in the creation of the handtied that you are making, an asymmetrical bouquet spilling over with greens, black baccara roses, plush dahlias, ranunculus, anemones, queen anne’s lace, and thistle. It’s wild but soft, dark and deep. You throw in some carnations for a pop of color. You have no idea if Robbie’s girl will like this, carnations can be controversial, but you like it, and that is what Robbie had asked for. That thought makes you smile to yourself.

You are a little nervous to see Robbie when he rolls in at 6 pm on the dot. “I wanted you to see it before I wrapped it up,” you explain, handing him the bouquet. He’s silent, inspecting it on all sides. His thorough examination puts you on edge. “I can change it, if you want, that’s not a problem,” you can hear yourself blabbering, but you can’t stop yourself. “It’s unexpected,” he finally offers, looking over and pinning you with his dark stare. “But so were you. This is perfect.” He leans closer and you instinctively inch towards him.

“I got a confession. These ain’t for Sophie. We broke up a week ago,” he pauses, scanning your face for a reaction. “If you want ‘em, they’re yours. If you don’t want ‘em, then I’ll keep ‘em to remember you by. But I hope you want ‘em.” You are stunned into silence. No one has ever done something like this for you before. You gape up at him.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” the sour taste of nerves invades your senses and he begins to back away. “I can be pushy, I’m sorry if I-“

“Robbie,” you reach up and rub the glands on his neck and he moans openly. “Is that a yes, baby doll?” he rumbles. Taking the bouquet, you reach up on your tiptoes and gently press your lips to his.

“That is definitely a yes, Alpha.” He groans, scooping you up and burying his face in your neck. You shiver at the hot swipe of his tongue against your gland. You can feel the gentle rumble of a purr beginning in his chest and you clench around nothing.

“I’m taking you to dinner.” He presses his lips to your neck, eliciting a soft gasp from you. “And then after that, I’m taking you to bed.” He draws back, tilting your chin so you look into his eyes. “Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

[qvill-s]

5&7 fluff for Alfonse pretty please? I really love your writing

NOTES: of course, nonnie, and so sorry for the long wait !!! there’s some spoilers for book three of feh, and i don’t know if that’s something people are still worried about, but i thought i should let you guys know anyway uwu

WARNINGS: pls cherish alfonse; feh book 3 spoilers

WORD COUNT: 942

alfonse + “OH you’re jealous” &&. “please just kiss me already” under the cut !!!

Sometimes, Anna’s schemes can really try his patience.

Alfonse has watched you prance around with various Heroes of the Order all day. He has watched you frolic amongst the flowers of the garden with Micaiah, watched you take archery lessons from Lyn, and watched you have tea with the Hero-King himself. He’s watched you explore the food market with Ike, watched you play in the river with Alm, watched you be doted over by Camilla, and for what?

Pictures. 

Apparently, the people of Askr (and other mysterious investors) are interested in seeing pictures of you with the Heroes, so Anna, armed with a camera tome, made it her task to deliver. The whole day was used to document your various interactions with the Heroes and to capture your candid smiles and laughter.

At first, Alfonse was okay with it. In fact, he was proud of it. He thought it natural that people wanted pictures of you. You were attractive; who wouldn’t want to see you, your charming laughter, your precious smiles? Who wouldn’t want to be around you?

As he goes through the pictures Anna has taken, however, there’s a small frown on his face that grows wider with every image because in each one you’re suspiciously close to the other heroes. Ike held your hand as you strolled through the busy streets, fingers intertwined with yours in that special way he thought only the two of you shared. Marth sat a little too close to you during tea, his shoulder against yours, your arms brushing each other every so often. Micaiah wove you a crown made from daises and ranunculus which, from what little he knows of the language of flowers, meant loyal love and a confession of being attracted to you. 

He comes across the picture of Micaiah placing the crown on your head, her fingers tucking an errant lock of hair behind your ear, the gentle smile on her face, your lashes against your cheek, and his heart lurches in his chest.

He’s not jealous, per se, but he can’t help but feel… inferior. All the Heroes you summon will be more than he ever will be, having already accomplished so much with less time and having faced so many trying ordeals. He’s barely managed to keep Hel from taking his soul, and even then, it was at the cost of his own father’s. What could he, of all the people you could’ve chosen, what could he possibly offer that the other Heroes couldn’t offer and more?

And with that thought in mind, he sighs, a deep, heavy sound, and there’s a sudden pressure of arms around his middle and a kiss to his clothed shoulder.

“You okay, Alfonse?” You ask, nuzzling your face into his back.

“It’s nothing, Summoner.” If there was anything his tutors taught him, it was how to hide his feelings for the sake of politeness and lie. He clears his throat. “I was just looking over the photos Anna took.”

“Oh, those! The whole thing took too long to do—” you tighten your hold around his waist as you press another kiss to his back—“so I haven’t seen you all day, and I missed you.”

“And I you,” he says. The words feel heavy on his tongue (because you should be with someone else, someone better, someone who isn’t him), but they’re genuine, coming from the depths of a heart that doesn’t feel complete unless it beats next to yours.

“Seriously Alfonse, are you okay?” Your arms unravel from his waist, opting instead to take his hands in yours. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Yes… he supposes he does. Your relationship, after all, was founded in honesty and a promise to talk, to work through all the things that the two of you are going through. You deserved to know, to be given a chance to decide if a relationship with him is what you really want.

With a deep breath, he asks you, “Don’t you think you deserve someone better? The other heroes, they— they’re much braver, stronger, and… greater than I, than I could ever be.”

He stares at the fingers that fit perfectly between his own instead of your eyes, afraid of what he’ll find within. He’s shown you his weakness so many times, shown you all the ways he’s unworthy, and now he’s giving you a way out. If you decide to leave him, to take back the heart you gave him so long ago, he’ll understand. He’ll have to.

Your hands leave his, and this is it, he thinks, this is how you leave him, but they come to cup his cheeks and drag his gaze to meet your own.

He’s warned you before that your eyes are an open book, that your emotions are painted out in full display against the color of your irises, and what he finds deep in the ocean of your eyes is a warmth he doesn’t see you display around anyone else. 

You smile, that gentle smile that’s meant just for him, the one that softens the corners of your eyes, and tell him, “I chose you, Alfonse, I chose you because I love you, and it’s not something I want to take back. Ever.” Your eyes search his own. “Okay?”

He knows your words are true, because he sees it in your expressive eyes, in the caress of your thumb against his cheek, and he nods. “Okay.”

“Good. Now kiss me, you big dummy. I’ve missed you.”

And he does as he’s told, kissing you soundly with all the gentleness and the love that he finds in his heart.

[bobblesnbittybites]

Curious about what types of Olives and Olivias I should do next!

so- send me a wild animal, butterfly, plant, fungus, and/or metal/crystal/rock to make a pair out of! Here’s some notes about flower language and a few meanings of other plants to help out.

Acacia Blossom - Concealed Love; Beauty in Retirement;  Chaste Love

Acorn - Nordic Symbol of Life and immortality

Ambrosia - Your Love is Reciprocated

Arbutus- Thee Only Do I Love

Aster - Symbol of Love: Daintiness

Azalea - Take Care of Yourself for Me; Temperance; Fragile Passion; Chinese Symbol of Womanhood

Alstroemeria flower is symbolic of wealth, prosperity and fortune. It is also the flower of friendship.

Amaryllis This flower is symbolic of splendid beauty. It is also used to indicate worth beyond beauty. Pride; Pastoral Poetry

Anemone on a darker note indicates fading hope and a feeling of having been forsaken. On a positive note, it symbolizes anticipation. Forsaken

Anthurium symbolizes hospitality. It is also used to indicate happiness and abundance.

Aster symbolizes patience. It is also indicative of a love of variety. It also symbolizes elegance and daintiness.

Bird of Paradise symbolizes joyfulness. It also symbolizes magnificence. It can also be used to indicate exciting and wonderful anticipation.

Bouvardia Double symbolizes enthusiasm. It is also used to indicate zest for life.

Bachelor Button - Single Blessedness

Begonia - Beware

Bells of Ireland - Good Luck

Bittersweet - Truth

Bluebell - Humility

Bouquet of Withered Flowers- Rejected Love

Cactus - Endurance

Camellia-  Admiration; Perfection; Good Luck, Gift to a Man, Pink - Longing for You, Red - You're a Flame in My Heart, White - You're Adorable

Candy Tuft - Indifference

Cattail - Peace; Prosperity

Chrysanthemum-  represent happiness, love, longevity and joy, yellow: neglected love or sorrow, red : love, white : loyalty and devoted love, 

Coreopsis - Always Cheerful

Crocus - Cheerfulness

Cyclamen - Resignation and Good-bye

Calla Lily symbolizes magnificence and beauty. White Calla lilies combine these two attributes with purity and innocence associated with the color white to make it the perfect choice of flower in a Wedding bouquet.

Carnation symbolizes pride and beauty, Fascination; Divine Love. A red carnation symbolizes love, pride, and admiration; My Heart Aches for You; Admiration; a pink carnation symbolizes the love of a woman or a mother; I'll Never Forget You; a purple carnation symbolizes capriciousness; a yellow carnation symbolizes disdain, rejection or disappointment; You Have Disappointed Me; Rejection; while a white carnation symbolizes innocence and pure love; Sweet and Lovely; Innocence; Pure Love; Woman's Good Luck Gift. A striped carnation conveys No; Refusal; Sorry I Can't Be with You: Wish l Could Be with You. Solid Colour - Yes

Chrysanthemum symbolizes fidelity, optimism, joy, and a long life. A red chrysanthemum conveys love; a white chrysanthemum symbolizes truth and loyal love while a yellow chrysanthemum symbolizes slighted love. General - You're A Wonderful Friend; Cheerfulness and Rest, Red - I Love, White - Truth, Yellow - Slighted Love

Daffodil symbolizes regard and chivalry. It is indicative of rebirth, new beginnings, and eternal life. It also symbolizes unrequited love. A single Daffodil foretells misfortune while a bunch of daffodils indicates joy and happiness. Regard; Unrequited Love; You're the Only One; The Sun is Always Shining When I'm with You

Daisy symbolizes innocence and purity. It conveys loyal love and “I will never tell”. Gerbera Daisy specifically conveys cheerfulness. Innocence; Loyal Love; I'll Never Tell; Purity

Delphinium, Hybrid symbolizes big-heartedness, fun, lightness and levity. It also indicates an ardent attachment.

Dandelion - Faithfulness; Happiness

Dead Leaves - Sadness

Fern - Magic; Fascination; Confidence and Shelter, Maidenhair - Secret Bond of Love

Fir - Time

Flax - Domestic Symbol

Forget-Me-Not- True Love; Memories

Freesia symbolizes innocence and thoughtfulness.

Forsythia - Anticipation

Gardenia symbolizes purity and sweetness. They indicate secret love. They convey joy. They tell the receiver you are lovely. You're Lovely: Secret Love

Gerbera belongs to the daisy family and therefore assumes the symbolism associated with the daisy flower. Gerbera specifically conveys cheerfulness.

Gladiolus symbolizes strength of character, faithfulness, and honor. The Gladiolus flower signifies remembrance. Give Me a Break . . . I'm Really Sincere; Flower of the Gladiators

Grass - Submission

Garlic - Courage; Strength

GeraniuM -"Stupidity; Folly

GLOXINIA - Love at First Sight

Hyacinth symbolizes playfulness and a sporty attitude and in its extreme rashness. Hyacinths also denote constancy. Blue hyacinth stands for constancy, purple for sorrow, red or pink for play, white for loveliness and yellow for jealousy.

Hydrangea symbolizes heartfelt emotions. It can be used to express gratitude for being understood. In its negative sense hydrangea symbolizes frigidity and heartlessness. Thank You for Understanding; Frigidity; Heartlessness

Hyacinth  General - Games and Sports; Rashness: Flower Dedicated to Apollo, Blue - Constancy, Purple - I Am Sorry; Please Forgive Me: Sorrow, Red or Pink - Play, White- Loveliness; I'll Pray for You, Yellow - Jealousy

Holly - Defense; Domestic Happiness

Heather Lavender symbolizes admiration, solitude, and beauty while white heather symbolizes protection and indicates that wishes will come true. Lavender - Admiration; Solitude, White - Protection; Wishes will Come True,

Iris symbolizes eloquence. Purple iris is symbolic of wisdom and compliments. Blue iris symbolizes faith and hope. Yellow iris symbolizes passion while white iris symbolizes purity. 

Fleur-de-Lis, Emblem of France: Your Friendship Means So Much to Me; Faith; Hope; Wisdom and Valour; My Compliment

Ivy - Wedded Love; Fidelity; Friendship; Affection, Ivy Sprig Of White Tendrils -Anxious to Please; Affection

Jonquil - Love Me; Affection Returned; Desire; Sympathy; Desire for Affection Returned

Larkspur-  Pink - Fickleness

Lily-0f-The-Valley - Sweetness; Tears of the Virgin Mary; Return to Happiness; Humility; You've Made My Life Complete

Larkspur symbolizes levity or lightness. It is also indicative of fickleness and haughtiness.

Lilac symbolizes youthful innocence and confidence. White lilac symbolizes humility and innocence, field lilac symbolizes charity while purple lilac symbolizes first love.

Lily symbolizes purity and refined beauty. White lily symbolizes modesty and virginity, orange lily symbolizes passion, yellow lily symbolizes gaiety while Lily of the Valley symbolizes sweetness and purity of heart. The Easter lily is the symbol of the Virgin Mary. Calla - Beauty, Day - Coquetry; Chinese Emblem for Mothers,  Eucharis - Maiden Charms,  Orange - Hatred, Tiger - Wealth; Pride,  White - Virginity; Purity; Majesty; It's Heavenly to Be with You, Yellow - I'm Walking on Air; False and Gay

Magnolia - Nobility

Marigold - Cruelty: Grief Jealousy

Mistletoe - Kiss me; Affection; To Surmount Difficulties; Sacred Plant of India; Magic Plant of the Druids

Monkshood - Beware; A Deadly Foe is Near

Moss - Maternal Love; Charity

Myrtle - Love; Hebrew Emblem of Marriage

Narcissus - Egotism; Formality; Stay as Sweet as You Are

Nasturtium - Conquest; Victory in Battle

Nuts - Stupidity

Oleander - Caution

Orange Blossom - Innocence; Eternal Love; Marriage and Fruitfulness

Orange Mock - Deceit

Orchid is a symbol of the exotic beauty. It symbolizes refinement, thoughtfulness and mature charm. It also symbolizes proud and glorious femininity. Love; Beauty; Refinement; Beautiful Lady; Chinese Symbol for Many Children, Cattleya - Mature Charm

Peony symbolizes bashfulness and compassion. It can also be used to express indignation or shame. It symbolizes a happy life, happy marriage, good health and prosperity. Shame; Gay Life; Happy Marriage

Palm Leaves - Victory and Success

Petunia - Resentment; Anger; Your Presence Soothes me

Pine - Hope; Pity

Poppy General - Eternal Sleep; Oblivion; Imagination, Red - Pleasure, White - Consolation, Yellow - Wealth; Success

Protea, King stands for change and transformation. It signifies daring and resourcefulness. It is symbolic of diversity and courage.

Queen Anne's Lace symbolizes a haven or sanctuary. It signifies complexity and delicateness.

Ranunculus symbolizes radiant charm. It conveys a message that you are radiant with charm or you are attractive.

Rose symbolizes love. It signifies love in its various forms. Its symbolism varies based on color, variety, and number. 

Primrose - I Can't Live Without You; Evening - Inconstancy

Rose:  Bridal - Happy Love, Christmas - Tranquilize My Anxiety; Anxiety, Coral - Desire, Damask - Persian Ambassador of Love, Dark Crimson - Mourning, Dark Pink - Thankfulness, Lavender - Enchantment, Orange - Fascination, Pale Peach - Modesty, Pale Pink - Grace, Joy, Red - Love, Respect, Single Full Bloom - I Love You; I Still Love You, Tea - I'll Remember; Always, Thornless - Love at First Sight, White - Innocence and Secrecy, White and Red Together - Unity White on Red Together - Flower Emblem of England, Yellow - Joy, Friendship

Rose Leaf - You May Hope,

Rosebud - Beauty and Youth; A Heart Innocent of Love, Moss - Confessions of Love, Red - Pure and Lovely, White - Girlhood

Roses  Bouquet of Full Bloom - Gratitude, Garland or Crown of - Reward of Merit; Crown Symbol of Superior Merit,  Musk Cluster - Charming

Red Roses: A red rose is an unmistakable expression of love. Red roses convey deep emotions - be it love, longing or desire. Red Roses can also be used to convey respect, admiration or devotion. A deep red rose can be used to convey heartfelt regret and sorrow. The number of red roses has special romantic meanings associated with them. 12 red roses are the most popular of all which conveys "Be mine" and "I love you"

White Roses: White is the color of purity, chastity, and innocence. White flowers are generally associated with new beginnings and make an ideal accompaniment to a first-time bride walking down the aisle. White flowers can be used to convey sympathy or humility. They also are indicative of spirituality. Hence, white roses also follow suit.

Yellow Roses: Yellow roses are an expression of exuberance. Yellow roses evoke sunny feelings of joy, warmth and welcome. They are symbols of friendship and caring. The yellow rose, like the other roses, does not carry an undertone of romance. It indicates purely platonic emotions.

Pink Roses: There are a lot of variations of the pink rose. Overall, pink roses are used to convey gentle emotions such as admiration, joy, and gratitude. Light pink rose blooms are indicative of sweetness and innocence. Deep pink rose blooms convey deep gratitude and appreciation. Pink roses also connote elegance and grace.

Orange Roses: While a yellow rose reminds us of the sun, an orange rose reminds us of a fiery blaze. These fiery blooms signify passion and energy. Orange roses can be used to express intense desire, pride and fervor. They also convey a sense of fascination. These flowers rival only the red roses as messengers of passion in romance.

Lavender Roses: A Lavender rose like its color conveys enchantment. It also expresses "love at first sight". Darker shades of lavender roses (close to purple) convey a sense of regal majesty and splendor. These roses are used to express fascination and adoration.

Blue Roses: A perfectly blue rose is still elusive like the perfectly black rose. Blue roses cannot be achieved naturally so they represent the unattainable or the mysterious. Blue roses, therefore, embody the desire for the unattainable. They say "I can't have you but I can't stop thinking about you"

Green roses: Green is the color of harmony, of opulence, of fertility. It is also a color indicative of peace and tranquility. Green roses (these are off-white roses with shades of green) can symbolize best wishes for a prosperous new life or wishes for recovery of good health

Black Roses: Black is the color of death and farewell. A black rose, like the blue rose, remains elusive. What we know as black roses are actually really dark red roses. Black roses convey the death of a feeling or idea. Sending black roses to someone indicates the death of the relationship.

Mixed Roses: By mixing rose blooms of different colors purposefully, you can create a bouquet of emotions. For example, a bouquet of red and white roses would mean I love you intensely and my intentions are honorable. A random mix of roses would convey mixed feelings or send a message: "I don't know what my feelings are yet but I sure do like you enough to send you roses."

Snapdragon symbolizes graciousness and strength. Its negative connotations include deception and presumption. Deception; Gracious Lady

Spider Flower - Elope with Me

Stephanotis - Happiness in Marriage; Desire to Travel

Statice is symbolic of remembrance. It also symbolizes sympathy and success.

Stock symbolizes lasting beauty and a happy life. It is indicative of bonds of affection and is symbolic of promptness. Bonds of Affection; Promptness; You'll Always Be Beautiful to Me

Smilax - Loveliness

Sunflower signifies pure thoughts. It symbolizes adoration and dedication. It is symbolic of dedicated love. It is however also symbolic of haughtiness.

Sweet Pea indicates delicate pleasure and bliss. It is a flower symbolic of departure after having a good time. Good-bye; Departure; Blissful Pleasure; Thank You for a Lovely Time

Tulip signifies a declaration of love. It also symbolizes fame and perfect love. General - Perfect Lover; Fame; Flower Emblem of Holland, Red - Believe Me; Declaration of Love, Variegated - Beautiful Eyes, Yellow - There's Sunshine in Your Smile

Violet- Modesty,  Blue - Watchfulness; Faithfulness; I'll Always Be True, White - Let's Take a Chance on Happiness

Viscaria -Will You Dance with Me?

Zinnia-  Magenta - Lasting Affection, Mixed - Thinking (or in Memory) of an Absent Friend, Scarlet - Constancy, White - Goodness, Yellow - Daily Remembrance

If you have any more plants I’ve missed or something you would like to add please do! This is just something to get us going a bit more and for some fun drawings before I’m unable to post them thanks to break!

[noona-clock]

Tulip

Can you pleeeaaassee write a fluffy scenario for Woozi 🙏 I’ll leave it up too you. I just n e e d some fluff for this angel please 🙏hahah

@zhangjingyou, here you are dear! I hope you like it!! 

Genre: Fluff! (Multiple AUs but read it to find out!!) 

Pairing: Woozi x You 

By Admin T 

“What else is there?” 

You glanced up from the counter and bit back a sigh. He stared at you with dead panned eyes and you wondered just how this happened. Actually, you remember. You heard the revving of a motorbike this morning, a shout then a crunch of pots and plants immediately followed by a string of curses. 

“You can pick up the soil I ordered,” you said, handing him the receipt from you local manufacturer. 

He stared at you blankly. “But how am I supposed to carry -- .” 

“Figure it out.” 

Yes, you were making the random person with the motorbike do manual labor for the flowers and plants that he ran over for your flower shop. No, you didn’t care at all. But, maybe, just maybe, you also thought he was adorable despite his bad boy imagine. 

You watched him huff in frustration, knowing that he couldn’t say no after the losses he’d accrued from his morning, took the receipt and walked out of your shop. 

You asked him to water the plants once he came back but you hadn’t expected for him to water them while he was smoking. You ran out of your shop to see the smoke go up in the air and you were about ready to strangle him. Once he heard you approaching, he looked at you again with those dead panned yet naive, innocent eyes. 

“What?” he muttered but you grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth while he let out a yelp. You threw it on the ground and immediately stepped on it, crushing it with your sneaker. 

“Please stop smoking near the plants,” you said as he watched you with wide eyes. “They don’t like it when their air is polluted.” 

He stared at you, unsure if he should laugh or run away at what you'd just said. One thing was for sure: he’d never met anyone like you before. 

“...Are you serious?” 

Your eyes fell to the plant he was watering. He hadn’t moved the hose and it was drowning in water. 

“Hey!” you shouted, grabbing the hose from him as he took a few steps back in surprise. 

“Look, I think I should head out. I’ve done as much as I can to help out,” he sighed. He took another step back as he left, his hands in his pockets before finally getting back on his motorbike. 

You didn’t think you were going to see him again. Days passed but you kept your ears perked for that revving noise. You know, just in case. Then, the door to your shop opened. You looked up, ready to greet your new customer but there he was, hands in his pockets and with a surprising, slight smile on his face. 

“I’d like to buy flowers.” 

It was your turn to stare this time. “Um, yeah, that’s what this shop is for,” you muttered but started stammering once you heard what you’d said. “I-I mean, uh... just look around and let me know what you want.” 

He nodded thoughtfully. “What are your favorite flowers?” 

He was up to something. “What do you want?” you asked suspiciously. 

“I can’t visit a flower shop to ask about flowers?” 

You pursed your lips. “I’m not telling.” 

But instead of frowning like you thought he would, he smirked, took a step back and walked away. 

The next morning as you opened up your shop, you’d almost stepped on it. But you gasped once you’d seen the flower, carefully picking it up. 

“What are you doing here, Ranunculus?” You didn’t think much of it. Hours after you’d seen the flower and your shop was in full swing, you suddenly remembered that what it symbolized: you are radiant with charm, you are attractive. 

There was a pink hyacinth the next day. Playfulness. The next day was a Bird of Paradise. Anticipation. Afterwards, a Sweet Pea. Having a good time after a departure.

You paused. 

No. 

It couldn’t be. 

He didn’t come by motorbike. Instead, he walked. It was odd to see him in his leather jacket as he walked up to your shop, clad with plants and flowers. It made you smile even though you didn’t realize it. 

You saw him bend down to place the flower on the doorstep, just like what he’d done consistently during the past few days. 

“You know,” you said, as he whirled around in surprise once he realized he was caught in the act. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a romantic guy.” 

The corner of his lips turned upward into a hint of a smile. “You wouldn’t tell me what flowers you like, so...” 

“You decided to get every kind of flower imaginable?” 

“Ah, well... not just any flowers.” 

You bit your lip. He knew their meanings. 

“Probably best though,” he continued as he smiled shyly at you and handed you the flower in his hand, “That I give this to you in person.” 

A tulip. 

Declaration of love. 

You gently took the flower as he made a move to step aside to walk away. You opened your mouth to say something, his back facing you. 

“Would you, um...” you called out loud. He paused and slowly turned to look at you, as if too scared to hear your response. How could someone who was supposed to be so tough also look so... soft?

“There’s a cafe around the corner,” you continued before you lost your sudden bravery. “They have tea and, er, coffee if you want something stronger...” 

He laughed softly in amusement before gesturing towards the door. “Your shop, won’t it...” 

You grinned as you led the way. “Today’s an exception.” 

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

[psi-psina]

05/09 Niigata LOTS

SE 詩踏み 咀嚼

蜷局 腐海 理由

New song (zankoku ?) New song (omae) 輪郭 THE BLOSSOMING BEELZEBUB

Ranunculus 人間を被る Punk song (GO MAD) Ash Revelation of mankind

EN 鼓動 The inferno THE IIID EMPIRE Beautiful Dirt 羅刹国

Same as yesterday, I wrote this last night before passing out after eating 3 fish taco’s and 3 glasses of red wine so this may have effected my memory a bit but I hope it is somewhat readable :)

Today was absolute FIRE. The setlist yesterday was better (my fave) but the guys were WAY more into it today, especially Kyo. I am so shit at outfits and I am really sorry. Today I only remember Kyo and Die's because I was closer to kamite in front of Shinya today. (it was so nice!!!) Die wore the outfit from the album promo photoshoot, Kaoru was definitely not wearing his (full) photoshoot outfit and I don't think? Toshiya was either but I can't remember anything else, I am sorry. Kyo's outfit was fantastic, he wore a white sleeveless blouse and his black skinny jeans with the ripped knees and over that his giant alice auaa...suspenders? It’s a big rectangular skirt that he can put his arms through as well, they are fucking awesome and he made WAY better use of them than he did when he wore them in Osaka *__* He wore his rosette badge again, on the front of the suspenders. And he wore his headgear from mode of DSS, with a black hair extension down the right side of his face and his white contacts. He was also wearing his new mac lipstick & gloss combo. I'm not sure if he had his grill in but I think he did? Damn it looked so good! I'm not usually a big fan of headgear on Kyo because I really prefer to be able to see his expressions more freely but even though this gear covers most of his face it actually enhanced his expressions. It just really....suits him? He wears it really well, I love it.

The whole front section of the set was very atmospheric. Niigata's response to Soshaku wasn't quite as lusty as Osaka's was, but ahh people were moving so much during Toguro and just feeling it SO MUCH. BLISS. Fukai was a stand out tonight, I caught Die's eye near the start of it and we looked at each other briefly, I smiled at him and he smiled back <3 he's so lovely. Die got my attention during Fukai today, I'm sorry Kaoru (ILU). The Fukai mosh was also Bliss. Kyo got us to sing a LOT, he called on us in the first chorus and other parts of the song, he screamed for more and ripped his monitor out so he could hear us better and we GAVE IT TO HIM. ❤️ Riyuu got lots of movement as well today, and went down even better than yesterday. Then I think it was during this interlude that everyone was pretty quiet, and then Kaoru sidled up in front of shimote with that cocky swagger of his and there was this sudden ROAR for Kaoru from shimote which got everyone in the middle shouting for him as well 😂 Then Kyo came back to the front and tilted his head back in that demented snarl-grin he's doing lately and everyone roared at him. Then it was time for the new songs again and it was much the same as yesterday, I can't remember much because I was going crazy. >.< They are just too good.

Kyo made the fox 🤘 at the end of Rinkaku when he was calling the demon. Beelzebub was FANTASTIC today! The flatness of Kyo's mood yesterday had a big effect in Beelzebub, but today was completely different. He was a lot more intense. After he bundled up his cord-intestines and dropped them, he was looking down at them sullenly and kind of waved at them. He deeply growled 'kyou wa kono mama nemuri ni tsukitai' in this transfixing pose...it was fucking Amazing (it's really stuck in my memory) and again after 'ugoku kometsubu ni...' he was trying to stomp on some phantom creepy-crawlies again. He went to town on his mouth towards the end, he did not drool everywhere today but rather uh, deeply fingered his mouth and played with his tongue. He was brazenly eyeballing people up on his crate while doing this, he looked right at me and it was UNCOMFORTABLE.

The interlude between Beelzebub and Ranunculus was really...intense? Idk, legit, no one even moved, the place was so enchanted and thick with anticipation it was just...magic. Ranunculus was also more emotional today than it was yesterday, there was a fair bit of movement from the fans and Die was very passionate during the chorus. Then Ningen was up, oh man...Those moments of stillness as Ranunculus closes out and you are absolutely SODDEN with 5 million emotions and could literally just die and then those deep melancholy chords open up Ningen and Kyo steps forward and raises his hand and calls out and everyone calls back and you can FEEL THE INTAKE OF BREATH as the riff comes crashing in and then !!!!! AAAHHH!!!! IT IS BURNED INTO MY MEMORY!! I know a lot of people did not like Ningen but fuck it is so good live, it is SO emotional and the dynamics just COME ALIVE. I really like the sound of the studio ver but it is flawed, and in some ways hampers the song a bit.

The punk song came next and fans were GETTING DOWN, there was DANCING and so much jumping. God it was so much fun and I could see how satisfied Kyo and Toshiya were with the response. <3 Ash was MESSY. Kyo got us to sing excessively and spent a lot of time at the edge of the stage monitor-less which just makes everyone go crazy. The ending thrash was epic, someone behind me grabbed my shoulders and was going so hard they were shaking me (NO COMPLAINTS JUST GIVES ME MORE MOMENTUM). When the song ended they were kind enough to disentangle from my hair without pulling it 😂 Then Revelation oh my god. Revelation is a song I didn't enjoy at all right through 2015 but amazingly it has grown on me and I now enjoy it even though it is still too chaotic and dissonant and exhausting. It's so brutal as a set closer I kind of wish they would just open with it laskdjf. I best remember Kyo shrieking "NIIGATAAAAAA" and at some point someone getting their arm in my mouth asflkjs idk what happened but I definitely got like the sweat of 5 people in my mouth then. Gross. And lol at Kyo making us sing "michinaki michi o" like lkajnfl yes Kyo, stretch us to the very limits of your ridiculous vocal range. The ending thrash was, again, absolute filth and when I emerged all I could see was Kyo towering up there on his crate with this MALEVOLENT look on his face. He turned and left the stage and the other guys followed promptly.

The encore was BEYOND. Kaoru, Toshiya and Die all came out wearing the white goat tee with the sleeves cut, And Kyo changed into a plain black blouse and removed his headgear. I could see at the end he had red and black eye makeup on. Shinya was wearing the white tee with the patches all over it I think. Then Kodou just completely set everyone on fire. skjdnffa. Kyo pointed right at me during Kodou, what even. I clapped eyes with him and Die a few times tonight (it's just where I was) but he really took me by surprise ;_; at the first chorus of Kodou as he was walking around his crate to stand at the edge of the stage Kyo put a hand over his heart and lunged forward pointing right fuckin at me looking me in the god damn eyes as we sang 'KOE KOROSHITE ME O FUSAIDE' together. It was like being ATTACKED. Dazzling. Unbelievable. 😭 He stood right at the edge and ripped out his monitor and sang his heart out going mic-less here and there and looking at people HARD and screaming more more more. Kodou owns my entire soul.

I lost my damn mind again during The inferno, someone had grabbed hold of the back of my shirt and was using my back for support and fuckin growling and I was straight up just snarling and shaking my fist at Kyo every time I surfaced from thrashing. Kyo was having some trouble with his mic tonight (the sound was dropping out a fair bit) but during The inferno it completely died. He turned back to the sound guys gesturing at the dead mic then threw it down and turned back to the crowd and snarled at us without it, gesturing wildly and smacking himself and going down in a crouch and fans went NUTS. And a moment later one of the guys had restored his mic and after a tentative moment (he was shy of the mic for a moment as he tested to see if it was working....it was...Cute  lakjsnflgkadf) he was back in full force. All happened VERY quickly and by the end he looked WELL pleased.

My part of the crowd almost collapsed during IIID it was heaving and bouncing so much and the guys started going EVERYWHEREE. Idk if it was during IIID or Beautiful but Kaoru came over to stand right in front of us and the crazed snarls of "KAAAOOORRRUUUUU!!!!" and wordless howling actually made me LAUGH because he totally DEADPANNED us like "Ehh? Is that it??" Then he smirked and went further over to kamite. BITCH. (Eta, pretty sure it was Beautiful actually) Is2g i am lucky my shirt didn't get ripped during IIID because it was insane and Kyo kept shouting for more more more more until he got drowned out by the screaming. I got a bit of nausea/stomach pain briefly towards the end like whelp going a bit TOO hard rn. My throat and the right side of my ribcage/right shoulder blade feel bruised as hell idek what happened. Feels like I pulled the muscles.

Then straight into Beautiful Dirt which was just as fuckin relentless alkjsnf Kyo swooped over to shimote during the second verse and showered them with some attention because Kaoru was over in kamite quite a lot and Toshiya and Die had come to the centre. Even with Kyo right over on Kaoru's side everyone kept screaming "SAIKOU NO BARAADO O OKUROU" with no encouragement every time alskjnf. Had a great moment with Die, he was right in front of us at the very edge and he was looking at everyone with such affection. Such a warm expression and I couldn't help it I just went 'DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE' and flailed at him and was surely smiling like a fool and everyone around me was calling out to him as well and his face just GLOWED lALKJSNFA he smiled at us again and bowed and flipped his hair the way he does and then moved away ;3; Kaoru and Toshiya joined forces at some point, Kaoru lounged on the edge of the crate briefly. I don't know what Kyo was doing after he came back from shimote, it was the roughest part of the song and I was thrashing. I totally get why Kyo gets us to sing "saikou...." every damn time because it's BEYOND EXHAUSTING. He LOVES making us struggle ksdjgnklf.

Kyo's MC at the end was a lot more enthusiastic tonight, he called twice to the men and women, shouted without the mic and did the usual riles and pounded on his chest. He got shirtless for Rasetsukoku tonight and...yeah, it was crazy. I'm struggling to remember anything it was just solid thrashing and roaring from all involved and giving my all took every ounce of energy I had I HAD NOTHING LEFT FOR OBSerVATION. I can't actually remember how it ended or what Kyo or any of the guys were doing until the post concert gift-giving. I did see Kyo's new tattoo very clearly tonight though, it looks good! Kyo stayed back, which was nice. He showered fans with a couple of bottles of water and wiped off all his makeup onto a towel and threw that in. He then got the bucket of water and DUMPED the whole thing onto one guy on the rail in front of him and tossed the bucket in too. He crouched down and slapped hands with the fans on the rail as well <3 I heard him sing out 'bye bye!!' as he straightened up again and i love the way his face scrunches up with emotion as everyone sings bye bye and waves back to him. He left with a couple of fox kisses. <3

Kaoru and Die threw a lot more picks today and I FELT Die's pick in my fingers but it escaped me 😭 A girl behind me just kept screaming thank you thank you thank you all of them. ;__; Shinya and Kaoru were fucking adorable, Shinya came to the front after he threw all his drumsticks with the uchiwa and fanned us! It was! Adorable! Then he threw the uchiwa to the Kyo pit. Kaoru was eyeing him as he strutted around and after Shinya left he took his own uchiwa and fanned shimote with it and BLEW ON THE FANS lksdhfnl he is such! a dork! I love him oh my god. As Die finished up his gift-giving he stood just in front of us and just looked at us, his eyes looked really glassy at the end? I was like, did you cry?? And man he looked tired, and really emotional. But he was just looking at us and clapping and smiling and we started a chant for him and he just looked so....overwhelmed and thankful oh my god. Sweetheart. 😭Kaoru was the last to leave again and he kept stopping and lingering to get that last little bit out of us....GAH. Then we all wobbled out.

To cap this experience as I was going to cloak I stood near a little girl while fumbling for my ticket, who saw me and turned to me, absolutely THRIVING, and said ‘KONNICHIWA’ with the most beautiful smile on her face and I was just like alksjnfliaj OVERCOME and said “konnichiwa sweetheart!!” to her and she like...squealed and just stared at me and her mum was laughing. Her mum said hello to me as well ;3; Fans with kids are the absolute best. The little girl wasn’t wearing a tour shirt but she was proudly sporting the hanged-man muffler towel and was just LOVING LIFE skldjfn. I love her ;___;

Niigata...thank you for these memories. I will always treasure these nights. ❤️

[eroticcannibal]

OK SO HERE IS EVERYTHING ABOUT MY HELLISH TIME IN LONDON TO SEE DIR EN GREY

If you are just looking for stuff about the gig, scroll down to the bold and italics bit cus I have some ranting to do. 

OK SO Everything was fine, was a bit cold when I left home but that’s fine, wore some trousers planning to change once I got to the hostel. Catching the coach was fine. Reached London, left the coach station like “ah, now I can smoke”. Go to roll a cigarette, BUT MY STUFF IS GONE. Couldn’t find it anywhere. Great. So I go buy some more and plan out my route to the hostel. Looks easy enough, catch the Victoria line then a 10 min walk. What could go wrong? Should take half an hour, I had an hour till my planned arival time, then an hour to change and do my makeup, then leave the hostel at 5. Plenty of time. 

So I get to where google told me my hostel was. And there is no hostel. Ok maybe it’s just hard to see, right? So I ask around. No one knows anything about a hostel. One person knows about a hostel across the road that was demolished, but that’s it. I was pretty sure I was in the right place, since I was looking for somewhere on Seven Sister’s road, and all the shops had Seven Sistsers mentioned on it, and there were tube stations that said Seven Sistsers on them. (Turns out this road was actually High Road! What the fuck! London is bullshit!) So I called the hostel (which thankfully did exist) and got some directions. Which weren’t very clear. And got more lost. So I called my girlfriend! To get more directions! “Hey I’m at the Costa” “ok theres like 4 of them” “across from tesco” “theres 3 costas across from tesco on that road”. EVENTUALLY I found the hostel. at 5. I had been no more than 15 minutes away the whole time but it took 2 HOURS TOTAL to get there. 

And then when I check in I CAN’T PAY IN CASH So I had to go get cash, fine whatever. Had just enough time to get changed and do the worst makeup I have ever done but w/e so then I went to catch the bus. This is when I find out that London is a hell city specifically designed to torture me and THEY DO NOT ACCEPT CASH ON BUSES UNLIKE THE REST OF THE FUCKING WORLD. LONDON IS THE BAD PLACE. 

At this point I’m just having a full on breakdown cus walking to the venue would take over an hour, it’s already past half 5, I don’t know what the fuck to do, I’m without my carer in a stressful situation and I’m already in so much pain from all the extra walking I’ve done I’m struggling to move. And I’ve been wearing fishnets and heels all day. And I forgot my pain meds. 

So I call my girlfriend AGAIN, and after much hassle we find somewhere near me I can buy an oyster card. Which I apparently can’t do without assistance from staff. SO FINALLY I can go catch the bus and get there. 

And then I had to walk all the way to the back of the queue on legs that already felt like they were going to give out. I was SUFFERING. That queue was LONG. But at least I got to witness people’s reactions to seeing how long the queue was when they turned the last corner >:D

I should have got there at half 5. I GOT THERE AT FUCKING 6.55, BULL. SHIT. But also bless everyone who goes straight to the cloakroom and merch table and bar so I still got about halfway to the front.  (ok yes actually phones out are actually anoying that far back, i’ve never been that far back so i’ve had like max one phone near me)

THE SHOW ITSELF

Ok so, y’know, they are a good band. When they managed to play, they played very well. The show was a fucking disaster though. I have no concept of time and had no way to check the time so please correct me if you were there, but felt like, an hour almost in total that nothing was happening. Some folks were speculating before the 3rd pause that “technical issues” was code for “kyo is tired” but I think the third one proved otherwise. First two times they walked off stage everyone was mostly confused but since we were told technical issues were happening and the third stop was in the middle of the song, that one got quite a big reaction. Kyo looked... really fucking pissed when he dropped his mic and left. (Also I heard Kaoru stormed off or got pissed off or something? I couldn’t see) during the next pause people started walking out. And my god we were all SO FUCKING HYPED when the encore started cus we were convinced we weren’t gonna get one. (also pls tell me I’m not the only one who saw Die getting all tangled up when changing guitars?)

I saw on instagram they said they lost the tracks on the computer, and I’m guessing they may have lost whatever they were projecting on the back too cus that stopped. But they changed the setlist and did a full set. And they did really fucking well! Miles better than last time I sa them, with some fucking audience interation this time too! And they played Saku! And a bunch of other older ones I love but SAKU. They didn’t play Ranunculus tho :/

Die’s speach was lovely. His english has really improved since I met him, and he is so sweet! I would die for him. His wind machine for his hair is ridiculous but I would still die for him. He is so precious. 

Despite the amount of pain I was in I went FUCKING HARD and could barely get out the venue I can still barely fucking move but it was absolutely worth it. (and rip in peace to the dude next to me who had a drumstick bounce off his hand shjkdshdfjhskl)

Although y’know I gotta say it, why is it ALWAYS dir en grey gigs where someone sees two people stood touching each other and they think “ah yes, I can fit between them. That is where I am going to stand”. I’ve never had this happen quite as much with any other band as with dir en grey. DO NOT DO THAT. IT IS RUDE. THIS IS MY PLACE. GO FIND YOUR FUCKING OWN. I WILL LET YOU PASS THROUGH BUT YOU WILL NOT FORCE YOURSELF BETWEEN ME AND OTHER PEOPLE. KYO DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU AND BEING HALF A METER CLOSE TO HIM WILL NOT MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. Y’all carry that shit on you’ll end up like the one who tried to force me off the barrier during the K! tour. I got sharp elbows, and now I’ve got a cane too. I will use them. 

ALSO AFTER THE GIG I MET THE LOVLIEST DOG. I GAVE A QUID TO A HOMELESS GUY AND HE ASKED ME TO SAY HELLO TO HIS DOG CUS APPARENTLY EVERYONE IN THE AREA WERE IGNORING POOR LITTLE ALFIE AND HE WAS SAD. NO ONE HAD SAID HELLO TO HIM. I am VERY dissapointed in all of you who aren’t afraid of or allergic to dogs who didn’t stop to give some love to Alfie. He is so friendly! he’s such a sweetheart! And clearly so healthy and well looked after. I cried a bit when I had to leave him. I love Alfie so much. I would die for him too. He looks so lovely in his scarf! 

Anyway then going back to the hostel I got off the bus at the wrong stop, the plug by my bed was broken so I couldn’t charge my phone, and I had the lumpiest pillow I have ever encountered in my life and I am worse the the fucking princess in the princess and the pea. 

And on the way back the next day the walk from tube to coach station (9 minutes) thanks to my piece of shit phone and google maps too 40 minutes. And My ankles felt fucking broken so imagine what walkig round london was like. But I got home alive wo I GUESS EVERYTHING IS FINE. 

Still not sure if seeing them was worth all this bullshit given the technical issues, but I’m at “not sure” rather than “nope” so that’s something I guess?

ALSO I’m curious to hear what the VIP event was like pls dish the dirt

[homosociallyyours]

Thanks @idratherbereading and @ennisgarlaend for the tags!!

Rules: answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

Nickname: Bean/Beenie/Beanie Baby/Beener (all variations of my last name), Meggles, Dottie, & Milton

Zodiac: Taurus sun, moon, and mercury, Gemini rising, Venus in Cancer, Mars in Virgo. I might have most of my natal chart memorized, wow. I’m that kinda person.

Height: 5'5" (ish)

Time: right now it’s 6am and I should be sleeping

Favourite band/artist: Indigo Girls, One Direction and its members’ solo projects, Bikini Kill

Song stuck in my head: The fuckin theme song to OITNB because netflix isn’t letting me skip it and it’s that kind of song.

Last movie I saw: In the theater it might’ve been Oceans 8. At home I watched Baywatch a couple days ago and was surprised by how entertained I was (my expectations were very low)

Last thing I googled: Robert Pattinson, because I was thinking about bearding/PR relationships and wondering who he was dating. 

Other blogs: former co-runner of darlingdomesticbatch (quality “hey girl” style benedict cumberbatch memes), attached to a couple of group blogs that i don’t do much for, my mostly dead cheese blog heycheeselady, and my 1d sideblog where i put stuff i really want to save and also stunt things that don’t belong here ohharrymylove. i have a livejournal (g*psyecks, listen i came up with it when i was 23 and uninformed because of a college nickname related to singing a cher song), a dreamwidth that shares its name with my tumblr, and a diaryland diary (OLD SCHOOL!!) that i don’t give out the name of but that i might want published posthumously (or possibly given to the LHA, i haven’t decided). I’ve had that last one for 16 years. 

Do I get asks?: On games, yes! Anon, sometimes? But it’s pretty sporadic.

Why did I choose this username?: I find that homosocial and homosexual relationships feed my soul personally and in fiction, and i decided i liked the idea of my name being a sign off on a letter. 

Following: 826 :P

Average amount of sleep: 6-10 hours depending on a lot of variables

Lucky number: 5

What I’m wearing: black and white bat leggings (ye olde lularoe) and a buffalo check print sleep shirt

Dream job: Cheese consultant (since doing the job i have and would love to do isn’t currently physically sustainable)

Dream trip: Hawaii with Bander

Favourite food: I’m legally and ethically bound to say cheese

Play any instruments: Ukulele--i’m ok but not great. And I sing, which should count! 

Eye colour: dark brown like a big pile of chocolate shavings

Hair colour: dark brown with some faded spots that used to be colorful, hopefully soon to be blue/green 

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: a wooden handled pocket knife, a worn-in red bandana, purple lipstick, a bouquet of pink ranunculus, toes in wet sand, mason jars full of milky hot tea, ripe peach in the sun

Languages you speak: English, rudimentary Spanish

Most iconic song: Reba McEntire singing “Fancy”

Random fact: I’ve been best friends with my best friend since we were 2 years old--it’s literally in her baby book

OK, that was fun! I’ll tag as many folks as I can think of, but please play if you wanna!

@bkehaunani @deosluxmea @yellinradios @queerclefairy @agentmoppet @phd-mama @livingrepetition @bibliomancer7 @guitarlouis @a-brighter-yellow @disgruntledkittenface @lululawrence @ann-fortunately @desertpups @velvetnoodle @doctornerdington @im-a-saint-fight-me @captiveharts @couch-mermaid @lexxxwasniahc

[starlightlotus]

Aster, Peony, Ranunculus for Hanzo please!

aster: tell us about a gentle moment shared with your f/o.

It was that point of intimacy where it happened after we were married. We put our differences aside and took a shot at getting to know each other. Me and Hanzo were so different, but at the same time so alike in certain aspects. We just got caught in the moment where my hand was in his, he pulled me closer to place a kiss on my forehead in his quarters.

peony: tell us about a moment where you or your f/o were very embarrassed.

So this happened one time where Genji actually made Hanzo try to impress me in a way where it was out of his comfort zone. I was spending time, talking to my best friend @yans-selfshipstand and just out of nowhere Genji came along with Hanzo. And for some reason Hanzo tried to say cheesy pickup lines that Genji came up with for him, I knew what was going on so I cut it to the chase only to find out that Hanzo did those things to simply ask me out on a date when a festival came up. Of course I had to say yes, and I had to give him credit for trying eventhoughitwasn’treallynecessaryforhimtofollowsomeofgenjisadvicefromthenon

ranuculus: what draws you to your f/o?

-unravels a list about Hanzo Shimada-

He is the oldest son where he has to carry a lot of his family’s burden on his shoulders.

His color theme is blue

He is a stoic character, I like to think that he does have a soft side to him that shows occasionally.

He hones his skills in archery wanting for those skills to always improve, the same way I hope my drawing will always improve.

His spirit dragons are literally two big scaly cats that want love. ilovethemsomuch 

The smell of incense and musk that lingers on him. Very calming.

His dragon tattoo on his left arm is very intricate, all the way from his pec down to his wrist.

The way he talks is very formal and casual.

This man really needed help. After the incident with supposedly ‘killing’ his brother, Genji, I just can’t help but feel like he needed someone to be there for him. I wanted him to share his burden with me so that he doesn’t have to do it all by himself, and for him to move on and become a better person is his decision. But I’m glad that I am seeing him move on by taking it one step at a time. He’s already been through a lot, and I want nothing but the very best for him!

[mischiefmakercakes]

Scott and Angie's sugar flower wedding cake. This cake is a perfect example of how sugar flowers can allow a designer to create a mood and color palette that fresh flowers cannot. With sugar flowers, the freedom to use floral varieties that may not be readily available at that particular time of year/ or in your area of the world. Cake tiers provide the perfect ground for sugar flowers to both grow and prosper.

Scott and Angie wanted the cake to be a textural display. We played with various ideas of how to integrate different textures into the cake design, but the way we chose to go about it in the end was to infuse texture through the various shapes, movements, and feel of the flowers. 

Much like Scott and Angie's family, the cake melds two separate cultures into one cohesive whole. To achieve this cohesion, we worked traditionally Chinese flowers, such as the lotus and peonies, into an arrangement with more commonly used western oriented flowers and style. While culture and heritage are present in the cake design, they do not dominate, and leave room for personal style choices and preferences. 

With this cake, we wanted to show that the not oft-used lotus, while the star of any arrangement, can seamlessly be worked into everyday arrangements. It's unusual form and unique center scares designers into using it on its own, or not at all. 

Since lotus flowers can live for centuries, if not millennia, they are sacred in many cultures as a symbol of resurrection and endurance, which makes them perfect for any wedding. 

In addition to the lotus, this arrangement houses elaborate interchanges of shapes and textures, including the concentric circles of the ranunculus and the fluffiness of the sugar tree peonies.

No one could even begin to imagine the amount of hours and workload that it takes to execute something of this magnitude, with this many sugar flowers and this many details. You are at a point working beyond your means for the love of the concept and the outcome, pushing yourself far beyond that of a normal designer, employee, or someone that you simply hire to execute a job. It is not a 9-5 job, but it also isn’t a 9-5 result.  I could say this for all of our cakes. 

When it comes down to the weeks prior to the cake and working these sorts of hours, it comes down to dedication. Not just myself, but my mother too. 18 plus hour days. Then you factor in two more people working to get the cake to the point that it can arrive at the venue. To execute large scale projects of this nature, it is the dedication to the work and complete willingness to give up any personal life/ be completely selfless in order to complete it. This is something that not every couple is able to understand. I am pleased that this cake turned out exactly as promised to the clients, and that we were able to see the execution of the design come to life. That’s what matters, and that’s what it’s about.

I was once asked, “What does sugar artistry mean to you?”. In this question, I break down the workload of one cake, as I am often asked, “How long does it take to make one of your cakes?” “ How long do the sugar flowers take to make?”. This was my answer:

What does sugar artistry mean to you?

Everything. Achieving a high quality of craft in the flavors, details, and overall end aesthetic of my cakes are one of the main reasons for which I live and breathe. They have robbed me of sleep, but have rewarded me otherwise in every way possible. My mother and I work on all of the sugar flowers for my cakes together. If it didn’t mean a lot to me, I wouldn’t strive so hard on every cake I do, sacrifice sleep and outings, and have systems in place to ensure that I keep the high standard that is expected on each project. I take on one wedding cake per week, at most, but, generally, I prefer only two per month. I maintain the high level of detail on my cakes by keeping the calendar small and exclusive. For one wedding cake, sugar flowers may take a full week of two people working full on, nonstop 12-18 hour days of work. 18 hour days are very common during wedding season. This is often how we prefer to work, as opposed to spacing out the sugar flower making in advance. The flowers seem to look fresher, when they are made or refreshed directly before the event. Commonly, there are last minute changes to the bride’s bouquet, as fresh flowers aren't ordered for weddings until two weeks before. By waiting to complete the sugar flowers until closer to the event, they look their best, and we can accommodate small tweaks and last minute design alterations that make the cakes blend with the event perfectly.

Your average working person may work 40 hours a week. So, in comparison, we will complete 90 hours of work in a typical five day, 18 hour a day work week, and that’s only for one of us. When both my time and my mother’s time are factored in, we easily spend 180 hours in five days, making sugar flowers for one wedding cake, and we often work 6 to 7 days on sugar flowers for one order; so, our workload is usually closer to 168-252 hours on the sugar flowers alone for a cake. Then, there is a week dedicated almost solely to finishing up last minute sugar flower details, macaron making, preparing to bake the cake, assembly, other design elements etc. This, again, doesn't include the hours of pre-planning, consulting, concept development, design work, and sketching. In order to maintain the freshest cake possible, the cakes are baked on a 2-day to 3-day timeline before the event, while still arriving on time at the venue for sugar flower assembly. Yes, I adorn the cake with all sugar flowers once I reach the venue. Lurking bridal parties, family members, venue staff, or not, the cakes arrive completely blank to the venue and the sugar flower arrangements are done on the spot. So, I will go to all lengths and often forego sleep for 48 hours or more in attempt to ensure a completely original and delicious end result.

📸/Post Production: Natasha Raichel Photography. Follow Natasha on Instagram here. 

[gratitudejoyandsorrow]

Of Loyalty and Duty (Chapter 3)

Prompt: In an effort to save two kingdoms, an arranged marriage was made. At his request, Prince Lin-Manuel Miranda was to be wed to you, the youngest daughter in your royal family. RoyalAU. Written for the hamwriters’ write-a-thon Day 1 prompt.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Pairing: Lin x reader

Words: 2,383

Warning: minor character death

Tagged: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @notthrowingawaymyfood

A/N: So you’re going to give me a backhanded compliment and then insult me by telling me my fics are shitty? Well here’s ANOTHER one for you. Two in one day, will ya look at that? *clears throat* Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think. Thank you for proofreading @how-could-i-do-this ! Also, I’m leaving for a trip soon, so I’m not sure if I have time to write. @nesthemonster - this is for you.

Thanks for reading!

The Miranda kingdom was breathtaking.

Though you’d already seen the scenery – the sprawling green plains, mountains and hills that decorated the horizon, and the fields littered with farmers that tended to their crops and livestock – experiencing it once was not enough for you to appreciate its beauty. As you neared the first village, you noticed that children, boys and girls alike, were running alongside the carriage, waving their tiny arms in greeting. You automatically waved back, giggling when their eyes went wide.

Without much thought about your prior spat, you tugged on Prince Lin’s sleeve to catch his attention. “Say hello!”

He gave you an amused stare but acquiesced, lifting his hand in acknowledgment to the sprinting children. You laughed when they shrieked in delight, their bright smiles shining under the sun despite the growing distance between them and the carriage. “I imagine that you are very popular with the children in the villages,” you teased, tucking the loose tendrils of hair that the wind toyed with behind your ear, “they are quick to idolize people that they admire… and your similar temperaments must be appealing to them as well.”

Prince Lin scoffed and propped his chin on his hand, elbow resting against the window of the carriage. “Are you calling me a child, Princess?” he questioned, regarding you carefully.

You leaned back against the seat, purposely not meeting his gaze as you grinned. “Maybe.”

“I am anything but a child,” he murmured, shifting close, “would you like a proof of my manhood, Princess?”

“You are appalling, Prince Lin-Manuel,” you seethed, your playful mood gone, “I will make good on my earlier promise if you lay a finger on me.”

He threw his head back and cackled. “But we are madly in love, are we not? I can’t resist the temptation to touch my beautiful bride-to-be.”

“Already playing into the role of the loving groom, I see,” you retorted, folding your arms across of chest. You refused to fall for his trap to fluster you.

He laughed again, mirth dancing in his eyes. “I’m always ready to play the part. Besides, it is not a difficult task to pretend that I am fond of you.”

Your mouth snapped shut, heart fluttering at the low rumble of his words. “I…” you started, troubled that you were at loss for a reply. The smile of triumph that slowly spread across his face caused your cheeks to heat in response. “I cannot say the same for you,” you continued, inwardly scowling at your lackluster reply.

Fortunately, the carriage slowed, directing his attention from your flushed face to the approaching huts. He turned back to you, teasing smile gone. “Are you ready?” he asked, voice gentle.

You let out a loud exhale, throat constricting at your realization of the forthcoming trials and the lies that you were going to feed to innocent people. “I will never be. I have no choice but to endure, do I?”

He smiled wryly. “No need to remind me, Princess.”

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Upon arrival, Prince Lin brushed off the coachman that tried to assist you out of the carriage, offering his hand to you instead. You noticed the crowd that gathered as you stood at the threshold of the opening, their scrutinizing eyes watching the scene unfold.

With a forced smile, you took his hand and placed a foot on the folding step, using him for balance. When he suddenly drew back, you felt your body tip forward, and you opened your mouth to squeal -  but the noise was caught in your throat when his hands wrapped around your waist to guide you safely to the ground. You stared up at him, alarmed, heart racing from his unexpected horseplay.  “What –” you sputtered, bewildered.

You heard the hushed whispers arise from the crowd, and when you became aware of his motives, you couldn’t prevent the incredulous giggle that escaped your mouth. “You are devious, Prince Lin-Manuel.”

He grinned, remaining silent as he untangled his hands from your waist. “Let the show begin, Princess,” he cooed, offering his hand to you once more.

You didn’t have a chance to reply before the sound of rushed footsteps caught your attention. You turned just in time to see two little girls racing forward, leaving their protesting father behind, their arms full of flowers.

“For the future Queen!” The taller one chirped, lifting a flower crown to you. You inspected it, smiling when you realized that the blossoms were the ones that you asked Prince Lin to name during your walks through the palace’s garden. The crown was decorated with silk rose buds, peach flowers, white daises, and orange ranunculus; the blend of colors complimented each other beautifully.

“For me?” you asked, melting at her enthusiasm.  You quickly waved off the guard that stepped forward, ready to reprimand the girl that dared to approach you so informally.

She nodded, pigtails bouncing with her zealous movements.

With a small laugh, you kneeled and leaned forward, offering the crown of your head to her. Another low murmur came from the crowd, but you ignored it, welcoming the weight of the flowers when she placed it on your head. “Did you make this?” you asked.

“Yes! My younger sister and I spent days crafting the crowns for you and the Prince!” she replied, beaming.

You glimpsed at Prince Lin, who now had a similar crown resting on his head. “Thank you. I am honored to receive your gifts.”

She curtsied and gave you a toothy grin before she and her sister were swept up into the arms of their panicked father. He bowed low, apologizing profusely at his daughters’ boldness and insolence. You stood and gave him a comforting smile. “I take no offense. I am pleased to be welcomed so warmly.”

Wide-eyed and still stammering his apologies, he bowed low once more and carried his girls back into the safety of the crowd.

After waving goodbye to the ecstatic girls peering over their father’s shoulders, you turned to look at the silent Prince. “What is it?” you asked, seeing the soft smile on his face.

“These crowns,” he said, reaching to touch the flowers that rested on top of your head, “are what my people give to newlyweds. It is to wish the bride and groom a happy and lengthy marriage.”

“Oh,” you replied, stunned.

He smiled. “Perhaps my people do not need much convincing after all.”

Throughout the day you met the Lords of each village; their humility and respect towards you and your family were admirable. They greeted you with open arms, offering gifts in celebration for the upcoming wedding. Each time the Lord of the current village led the group through his lands, your father and Margaret inquired about the efficiency and methods of production, eager to know more about the mechanics of the village. Meanwhile, you and Prince Lin trailed behind them, their words falling on deaf ears. Instead, you listened as he clarified what crops were grown in each village, explained the story behind certain customs that you noticed and were curious of, and even named the flowers that you spotted and didn’t recognize.

As the carriage drew near the last village you were arranged to visit, you caught a glimpse of Prince Lin out of the corner of your eye. He was uncharacteristically quiet, gazing off into the distance, fingers drumming against his crossed legs, with a deep set frown on his face. The setting sun kissed his skin, bathing him an orange glow that caused his dark eyes to lighten.

“Prince Lin,” you said before you could stop yourself.

He turned, the frown softening into a small smile. “Yes?”

“You seem troubled.”

He uncrossed his legs, sighing before he spoke. “As we get farther from the palace, there is a significant decrease in the quality of living. The villages we’ve visited so far have been the most robust in the nation. This upcoming one, however…”

“Is not,” you finished, speaking slowly.

“They were the first to be heavily impacted by the famine. Their population was nearly cut in half and they have yet to recover. Their children are malnourished, the life expectancy of the elders is declining, and I cannot help but feel their accusing glares when we visit. The Lord of the land insists otherwise, but I can tell that the people of the village blame us for favoring the other villages and abandoning them,” he sighed once more, his features turning into that of a burdened twenty-three-year-old King you’d never seen before.

You smoothed out your dress, the material starting to wrinkle from the day’s events, and turned to face him. “I don’t necessarily understand the process of action when it comes to disasters within a kingdom, but if there is one thing about you that I have learned during my short time here, is that you are loyal to your people. You love them and will do anything for them. Is that not why we are in this predicament now? Do not feel guilty for your inability to help them in the past and instead feel proud for what you are doing for them in the present.”

He stared at you in wonder, a genuine smile spreading across his face. “You never cease to amaze me, Princess.”

You stared at him in surprise. “What?”

The carriage stopped, disrupting your conversation. He ignored your lingering gaze and helped you out of the carriage, your hand tightly clutched in his. After a quick scan of your surroundings, you immediately noticed the disparity of the village compared to the previous ones.

The huts looked timeworn, the life of the buildings nearing their end. There were only a few men and women that greeted the carriages – most were in their homes, peering through their windows, disinterested – but the sight of their tattered clothes barely hanging off their thin frames made your stomach sink.

And the children…

The children were malnourished. The skin on their arms and legs was stretched tight around their bones, and their stomachs were distended from their hunger. Their eyes were dull, lacking the liveliness that most children had when encountering royalty.

The Lord of the land came forward, a tired and strained smile on his lips as he bowed low in greeting. True to the routine, he guided everyone through the village, with your father and Margaret in the forefront while you and Prince Lin flanked the back. This time, however, Prince Lin was silent, his eyes searching the faces of the people he passed. His grip around your hand slackened when the topic of conversation shifted to the food supplies, the tense voice of the Lord palpable when he was asked about the quantities remaining. Impulsively, you squeezed his hand to comfort him, returning his appreciative smile.

You took another quick perusal of your surroundings, frowning at the impoverished environment. The streets were barren, lacking the life that a growing kingdom should have. From the corner of your eyes you spotted a little girl sitting on a wooden mat, leaning against a hut, her gaze directed forward and a straw doll clutched in her hand. Concerned at her lack of awareness of her surroundings – she was too close to the baskets containing garbage – you tugged your hand out of Prince Lin’s grasp and walked towards her.

The first thing you noticed was the buzzing sound of flies.

Next was the smell of rotting flesh.

She was in nothing but in her undergarments, her cachectic body revealed. Bones that you knew that should not be so pronounced made your stomach turn uneasily. Dust and dirt covered her skin and hair, and the sight of the flies swarming around her caused a chill to run down your spine.

Your knees trembled when you stared into her eyes, the beautiful shade of blue lifeless. “She – she –” you started, not recognizing the high pitch of your voice as you stumbled backward, eyes still glued to the little girl.

You felt a firm grip on your arm before you were yanked backward. Suddenly, you no longer saw the little girl, and it took you a moment to realize that Prince Lin had you pressed against his chest. You tried to pull away from him, hoping that if you looked at the space again, it would be empty –  that the body of a little girl that died scrounging for food would be gone.

But Prince Lin didn’t release you, and you struggled in his grip to free yourself. “Let me go! Don’t you see?! She needs our help!”

He ignored you. “This trip is over,” he said, voice firm.

Margaret rushed forward, placing her hands on your shoulders to gently turn you towards her. You searched her eyes and anticipated her comforting words. “Y/N,” she cooed, her soft voice warm and reassuring, “this transpires frequently, and as unfortunate as it may be, it is a natural path of life.”

You stared at her, horrified. “An innocent child dying is unfortunate?”

Margaret let out an exasperated sigh. “You need to understand, my dear sister, that as future Queen, sometimes it is best to push your sentiments aside. Her death was ill-fated, but it was of no surprise. You must recognize that this village is declining. Their production has decreased, and they are slowly losing their importance to the Miranda Kingdom. Accept that this village will soon be abandoned and the people will migrate to the larger villages that are in need of their help. They will prosper there.”

“Margaret,” you whispered, feeling as if you were staring into a stranger’s eyes, “do you hear yourself?”

You felt numb as you watched her press her lips together in a straight line, unhappy with your answer. She gathered her dress in her hands and rushed off to the carriages that were prepared for departure.

Prince Lin touched your arm, gaining your attention, and you felt sick when you saw the pity in his eyes. Between the sight of the lifeless girl and your sister’s lack of empathy, you were uncertain how to feel. “I want to go home,” you whispered, eyes lowered as you unsuccessfully attempted to sort through your emotions.

Prince Lin nodded, silent.

“Let’s go home.”