#but yeah twin strangers is a really cool concept so is the concept of familiar strangers lol but i won't digress about it in the tags

[logicheartsoul]

You know what there’s not enough of? Mistaken identity fic when it comes to Sam Wilson and the Smiling Tiger (aka Conrad Mack). Like, there’s all these fics that love his look (which that was an amazing outfit, ngl) and hardly any fall out from it. I’ve probably read a couple of fics where Sam gets accidentally mistaken as him (including one where a woman comes up to him and starts reaming into him thinking he’s Conrad and when he explains he’s Sam, she apologizes and they get on a better footing and it’s a very cute fic) but like... 

Conrad Mack has a reputation in Madripoor that’s well known -- he’s got to look so similarly to Sam that no one, including the bar tender in the (I had to look this up) the Brass Monkey, thinks too much of it. And yeah, I get it, plot convenience, etc, especially the shots of Conrad Mack in the blue suit are basically Anthony Mackie with his Infinity War beard, but another thing I wish there was more in fics (and in stories in general): twin strangers.

Twin strangers is basically a term created by a group of friends who wanted to find their doppelgangers in the world. One of them, a woman, actually did manage to find one (and then several) and meet up in person, and then they set out to create a website that could help people find, match, and meet with said strangers. There have been many articles and news reports about it and a couple of mini-documentaries -- including some that have dealt with research on biological twins and comparing the data with some of these identified pairs (or groups) of twin strangers.

It’s all fascinating, but not the point. My point is that it would be fun for fics to really take this concept with Sam Wilson and Conrad Mack and explore it. All people know is that the “Smiling Tiger” shows up to a meet with Selby, then Selby gets shot and killed. There’s a bounty on their heads but Sam’s last name is never mentioned -- so does that mean Conrad Mack has to deal with the fallout of Sam’s (and the group’s) fiasco? Would he want revenge for what Sam did to his rep or even worse, the fact he has someone who can impersonate him?

But then too, finding out that Sam Wilson, the person who impersonated him, is the new Captain America. They share a similar looking face. That can really do a lot of damage, especially if he does a pretty good job of impersonating Sam Wilson. Being Sam Wilson could get him into places and doors he never thought of and only people who know Sam Wilson truly well would be able to see through it. By the time the word could get out, who knows how far the damage could be?

And yes, the fics where Sam yet again assumes the Smiling Tiger persona is interesting but what if they find out the people they’re meeting really also know Conrad well or also have beef and take it out on Sam? (Or if they just go undercover not knowing the place they’re going is bad coz Smiling Tiger has a bad rep there) Or people want to take advantage of the fact Sam has a similar face to Conrad and demand Sam go to Conrad’s main place/hideout/lair/etc to get something Conrad took/has/etc? Perhaps in exchange for something else (whatever that else is up to the writer, especially if there’s hostages involved or etc)

Or even taking the Sam has to impersonate Conrad thing even further, they are looking into some individuals/groups and they find out they have ties to Conrad, and then they have an opportunity to get them if Sam actually can impersonate him well -- and not with the meager, last minute scraps of knowledge Zemo provided, like deep dive, into personal history thing. If the fics are gonna go there, it would be nice to see it go there you know? Sam still protesting with the whole “I’m a soldier not a spy” shtick or being like “do you remember the last time I tried to be a spy and impersonate this man??” but knowing there might be no better opportunity/choice but at least if he’s going to do it, he’d better be more prepared.

I’m sure there are more ways to milk this out but it’s 6 am and I feel I’m getting a bit wordy but yeah. 

(Another idea, maybe perhaps on a sting, they accidentally uncover Conrad among the few, but they need Conrad to specifically be the one who makes some kind of exchange or whatever, so Sam has to go in his place if they want things to go the way they want and so the two of the work together. That would be interesting lol)

Anyways, there’s so much untapped potential here. And that’s not including if Conrad was smart enough to fool people like Bucky or Joaquin or something. That would be fun. Or, if people are into the idea of Power Broker!Sharon (coz not everyone is and I understand why), the kind of united, brilliantly scarily executed plot of Sharon and Conrad using that similarity to advance their agendas?

Just things to think about.

[bosspigeon]

Carabosse et la Fee des Lilas

Prompt: 💋Drag

Pairing: Adam/Male Detective, Bonus Found Family Vibes~

Words: 5,346

Summary: Tina spends some quality time with Arlo and Unit Bravo as they prepare for Wayhaven's first real Pride festival, Tina torments her best friend and his maybe-boyfriend (as is her god-given right), and Arlo has a big think about his favorite role and what that role allowed him to explore~

CW for references to transmisogyny and implications of past trans/homophobia

Sometimes, Tina wonders if Arlo missed his true calling. His hands are surgeon-steady as he pencils delicate patterns onto Felix’s cheeks, outlining with white eyeliner in preparation to fill them in with bold colors and glitter. Tina almost can’t wait for her turn, even though Felix looks like he’s in real, physical pain with the effort of holding as still as possible. She’s no stranger to that struggle herself.

Neither is she a stranger to Arlo’s forceful, if toothless, threats, overcome as she is by fondness when he growls that he's going to draw a mustache on Felix’s face with permanent marker if he doesn’t stop bloody bouncing.

It’s pretty fun to watch from the outside. Sure, when you first sit down when he’s like this—all sharp and snappish and “stop moving or I’ll chuck you out the window”—it’s hard to keep still, but Arlo’s got this sort of quiet intensity to him when he’s focusing on something that’s oddly meditative. He’s just a soothing presence, really. Like a capybara or something. He’s friend-shaped.

Whatever weird magic it is, it’s definitely catching, because Felix looks less like he’s about to burst, like he did when Arlo was putting down the foundation, and more like he’s enjoying the attention. Tina’s not sure how long it’s going to last, seeing as Felix has given her a run for her money in the “manic energy” department, and he’s nowhere near as caffeinated as she is at any given time, but for the time being, he’s (mostly) still and quiet.

There’s music playing, quiet enough that the broody one (she knows his name, but it seems to bug him when she calls him "the broody one," which is funny, so—) only grumbled about it for a few minutes when Arlo turned it on, and even seems to enjoy sitting close enough to Arlo’s stupidly fancy stereo system to, she guesses, feel the rumble of the bass through the floor. Vampires are weird.

Anyway, it’s Arlo’s usual sad goth boy nonsense, but as quiet as it is, and with its intense instrumentals and rumbling vocals, it’s pleasant background noise more than anything.

Nate (the handsome and charming one, because of course all Arlo’s vampire friends are handsome, so she has to differentiate between them somehow) is rifling through Arlo’s bookshelf like it’s his job, and visibly struggling to pick something to read, because Arlo’s sitting room bookshelf (the one she found at a yard sale three hours away and lashed to the top of her sedan with every single bungee cord she could find at the local hardware store because it was coffin-shaped, for god's sake) is where he keeps all his weirdo occult stuff to, quote, “make people who pop by unannounced leave faster.”

And then there’s the big, handsome, stupidly fit blonde Arlo still won’t call his boyfriend, even though they’re so obvious it’s sickening, and she means that with all the love in her heart. He’s sitting in the armchair by the bookshelf, positioned so he can look like he’s reading one of Arlo’s old music magazines and totally isn’t taking advantage of the perfect line of sight of Arlo perched on the end of his coffee table so he’s not too tall to work on Felix, sitting in a chair from the kitchen. Tina sure hopes he doesn’t think he’s subtle, being a super special vampire secret agent and all.

He seems to notice her eyeing him, at least, and keeps his attention pinned firmly on the magazine, though he is definitely not reading a single word. Nate keeps browsing, the Broody One keeps brooding, Arlo keeps working, and Felix starts to hum. Arlo gives him a sharp look, but it doesn’t seem to be moving his face in any major way, so he just rolls his eyes and keeps tracing pretty patterns onto that unfairly smooth, dark skin. Do vampires do skin care? They probably don’t even need to, and that’s probably one of the reasons people like to villainize them. It always comes down to jealousy, doesn’t it?

She sighs, loudly enough that every eye in the room turns to her, and while she did not expect the sudden attention, she knows she can at least use it to entertain herself. She homes in on Adam, and smiles when she finally looks at the magazine he’s still valiantly pretending to read. There’s a familiar man on the cover, and while she can’t be bothered to remember his name, she grins. “Oh, hey! Arlo, he’s reading the one with the guy who looks like you!”

Arlo doesn’t even look up, but he huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes again. He’s going to give himself a headache if he keeps that up.

The comment does exactly what she wants it to, which is draw the attention of all the other vampires. Arlo even begrudgingly pulls the pencil away from Felix’s cheek so he can take a look, and he immediately bursts out laughing.

“Arlo!” he exclaims, slapping at Arlo’s knee. “You didn’t tell us you had a twin!”

Nate chuckles (warm and rich and handsome, if a sound can be called handsome) and turns from the shelf to study the magazine curiously himself. Even the Broody One peers over to see, a little smirk curling his permanently-scowling mouth.

“Considering he was born in the sixties, I definitely don’t,” Arlo drawls. “Tina’s been making that joke since we were kids. She’s just happy she’s got an audience who hasn’t heard it twelve times a week since she first saw my old Type O Negative poster.”

“Some jokes just get better with time,” Tina says archly. “Like a fine wine.”

“And some jokes age like milk,” Arlo fires back.

Adam tilts the magazine so he can look for himself, and his dour expression clouds over even more, brows furrowing and mouth twisting. He peers up at Arlo, studying him, then down again.

Got you. “Yeah, you’re right,” Tina says, nodding sagely at him. “Arlo’s much prettier.”

It has exactly the reaction she was hoping for. Arlo drops his eyeliner pencil and makes a strangled noise, glowering at her with his cute freckly cheeks going all red, and Adam, who is a good bit paler than Arlo, goes pink from the crewneck of his just-this-side-of-too-tight tee shirt to his hairline. Tina wants to punch the air as the other vampires snicker at them. Well, except for Nate. Nate’s not a snickerer. He chortles. It’s adorable.

“Speaking of pretty!” Felix crows once they’ve all had a laugh at their fearless leader’s expense. He points to his own face with both hands, dancing in his chair, and Arlo sighs and rolls his eyes again, bending to pick up the dropped pencil. Luckily, the tip isn’t broken, so he can get right back to work, once he’s given the young vampire a moment to get his wiggles out. He settles, sitting on his hands and pursing his lips when Arlo gives him a dry look. He hovers back in with the pencil, and then Felix blurts out, “How’d you get so good at this anyway? Well, I assume you’re good at it. I haven’t seen it yet.”

Arlo doesn’t say anything. He just looks at him, pencil poised, until Felix pinches his mouth shut with a quick little apology. Once Arlo’s satisfied his canvas is actually going to hold still and keep quiet, he gets back to it. “My school was pretty small, especially compared to the bigger-name performing arts schools out there,” he says after a moment of quiet focus, tracing the outline of a heart around one of Felix’s eyes. “Our department didn’t really have a huge budget, and workspace was at a premium too. We didn’t have a lot of time to prepare for performances before someone else had to use the theatre, so we all did our own makeup at once, for the most part. Sometimes we’d help each other out, because we all had our strengths and weaknesses.”

He pulls back the pencil, squinting critically at the heart like it’s not completely perfect. “Demi was the best at laying the groundwork, and at matching colors to our costumes and complexions. Viv was the best at coming up with concepts and making sure we looked like a matching set. Wendi could do insane prosthetics, and was the best at bullying our department head into giving us the money for them. I had the steadiest hands, so I always did the eyes and the details.”

“Was Wendi the one who did your Dracula look?” Tina gasps. “That one was so cool!”

“Dracula?” Felix blurts. Tina doesn’t miss how the others perk up with interest too.

Arlo glares at him, and he shrinks back with a sheepish little grin. “Yeah, we did Dracula, uh… second year, I think? That was when Tilly transferred in and started doing our choreography. She’s the one who got Professor Dacey to let us do less classical stuff and start branching out a bit.” He glances briefly at Tina, staunchly ignoring the way Felix pouts at him for dividing his attention. “And, yeah, Wendi did the prosthetics for that one.”

“She’s got to be magic,” Tina asserts. “She managed to make your sweet, mopey face look so scary.”

Felix and Mason both snicker at that, and Arlo’s mouth goes all lemon-sour pinchy, like it always does when she calls him a sad puppy man, or any variation thereof.

“Take a lap,” Arlo says to Felix. “Don’t touch your face.” He jerks his head at Tina when Felix bolts to his feet and starts zooming around the flat to get out some of his energy. “Your turn, if you’re done being a comedian.”

“I’m never done,” she says with a sunny smile, but she bounces over to take Felix’s place in the chair and closes her eyes serenely so he can start on her makeup.

“And, God, do I know it,” he grumbles under his breath, knowing full well she can hear him, and so can everyone else in the room, too.

“Do you have pictures?” Felix hollers. He’s dipped into Arlo’s studio, and he’s making no secret of rifling through the desk in there, drawers slamming and paper rustling.

Arlo tips his head back so when he sighs, loud and dramatically long-suffering, he’s not blowing his breath right in Tina’s face. She appreciates the gesture. “Bottom right drawer,” he calls back, resignation thick in his voice. Given how long he’s been putting up with Tina—and Felix might just be Tina’s second platonic soulmate (Arlo, of course, being the first)—he already knows that keeping quiet is just prolonging the inevitable. Tina opens her eyes briefly to see Felix come sailing out of the studio with a thick leather-bound album held triumphantly over his head.

“Oh, I haven’t seen that in years!” she coos happily.

Arlo bops her on the forehead pointedly with a sponge covered in foundation, and she closes her eyes obediently.

She hears Arlo’s antique sofa creak as Felix plops down onto it, rifling through the plastic pages. “Aw,” he whines, “no baby pictures?”

“I can’t imagine him ever being a baby,” Mason snorts, and he sounds closer than he was before. Tina knows better than to open her eyes while Arlo’s in the zone, though. He’ll bop her with something less soft than a sponge next time. “I figured he’s just always been a giant.”

Felix laughs, high and chiming. “No wonder Agent Priestley’s always so sour, then,” he says. Tina giggles, and it becomes an inelegant snort when Arlo bops her again on the nose.

“Ask Rebecca if you want to see my baby pictures,” Arlo mutters blandly, and Tina can feel the weight of his attention. “I doubt she has many after age two, and the ones before I’ve barely seen.”

Tina’s not a super-special supernatural secret agent, but she tries with all her might to will someone to change the subject before things get weird. Now’s as good a time as any to learn telepathy.

Felix, heart of her heart, interrupts what’s shaping up to be a real prize winner of an awkward silence with a loud gasp. “Woah!” he exclaims, and pages crinkle as he presumably holds up the book for Arlo to see. “Who’s this? Did you do her makeup too?”

Arlo’s hair rustles as he turns his head away from her, and then the hand on her cheek freezes. Tension radiates through every inch of his body, practically leaching into hers. She cautiously opens one eye, and sees Arlo sitting up impeccably straight, stiff as a board and staring at Felix like a deer in the headlights. He swallows so hard she can see his throat move. “Um,” he says, stilted and strange. “Yeah. I did.”

Tina opens both eyes and squints at the photo album. Oh.

Felix looks at the sudden strain in the way Arlo is sitting, the tightness of his posture, and looks quizzically down at the picture again.

Tina remembers that performance. She remembers Arlo dancing (ha) around the subject when she asked him teasingly if he was going to be playing the prince, who was the lead, was he excited to kiss a pretty girl?

She can’t remember the character’s name, not so many years after the fact, especially since they were all weird classical nonsense, either Latin or French or some mishmash of the two. But she remembers the costume. She remembers waiting with bated breath to see Arlo onstage, to stand and scream and cheer obnoxiously loud in support of her best friend. She shot to her feet the second she saw his obvious silhouette rise from a feather-bedecked black chariot, head and shoulders taller than anyone else onstage. The music swelled, lightning flashed, and then when the spotlight hit him, she was so stunned she plopped right back into her seat with her jaw on the floor.

Arlo’s always been one of those guys that straddled the line between pretty and handsome. Long, lustrous hair and eyelashes she would kill for, cheekbones that could kill, a defined jaw, a proud nose, and intense eyes she could only call sultry—if she hadn’t known him since they were both weird, gawky brats, she’d probably be half in love with him before figuring out she wasn’t his cup of tea. But seeing him onstage was always an adventure. He threw himself into whatever character he played, put his everything into them, from the costume to the makeup to the performance. He just became the character, and in a way that was so very Arlo, all that intensity and focus channeled into an act that completely stole the show, in Tina’s humble and completely unbiased opinion.

Carabosse! That was her name!

Carabosse was no different.

Arlo’s makeup was flawless, ghost-white foundation giving him intense Morticia Addams vibes, contouring that made his cheekbones look absolutely unreal, bold black (or maybe really dark purple?) lipstick and shiny, smoky eyeshadow that made him look ethereal and wicked, with a daggerpoint cat-eye that she spent an hour begging him to teach her after the show. When he turned his head in a sharp, birdlike motion to look down his nose at the dancers playing the King and Queen, she gasped at the way his hair rippled down his back, shiny-black and woven with actual feathers that trailed back from the ornate metal circlet resting on his brow like a bird’s crest. The costume was breathtaking, too, a tightly corseted bodice and a high collar, a dramatically billowing skirt and trailing, feathered sleeves that flared like wings whenever he moved.

And the way he moved! Arlo’s dancing changed with every role, whatever he felt would suit the character. One of her favorites was always his Hans-Peter (she had a soft spot for that one, and had ever since she was little—one of the first Christmas gifts her stepmom had ever given her was little storybook version of The Nutcracker that came with a CD) because his dancing was so stiff and stridently mechanical, he looked like a real toy soldier come to life. But his villains moved with a slinking, predatory prowl she’d only ever seen in monster movies, and never in something like a ballet. His Carabosse was as beautiful as she was terrifying, and it was incredible to watch. She wanted to fling herself at him after the show and babble at him endlessly like she always did, but she spent a solid minute staring at him slack-jawed, until he shifted awkwardly and looked down, and the confident intimidation of the Wicked Fairy sloughed away to reveal Arlo underneath.

He almost melted into the floor with relief when she finally startled to babble.

She puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, and he takes a slow, deep breath, offering Felix a strained smile. “Take a closer look, mate,” he says quietly.

Felix does. He looks up and squints at Arlo, and then back down at the photo. Tina has to bite her lip so she doesn’t laugh when he looks over at Adam, still holding the magazine with that metal singer that kind of looks like Arlo on it, and then back at Arlo. His mouth drops open into a little o, and he shoots to his feet and shouts, “No way!”

Mason was allowed his name back briefly, but he goes right back to Broody One when he grimaces at Felix and slinks pettishly back to his corner.

Arlo’s shoulders are practically around his ears, but he tries to keep smiling. “Yeah. Sleeping Beauty. Fourth year. I was the Wicked Fairy.”

“He was amazing,” Tina declares, shoulders back and chin tipped up challengingly. “The costume was insane, but the way he played her was absolutely, ridiculously badass.”

“You look awesome!” Felix blurts, still gawking down at the photo. He flips to the next page, and squeaks happily when he finds more pictures, from different angles, showing off the costume, the way Arlo loomed over the other dancers, the way he commanded the stage. Tina should really find out who took the pictures and send them her thanks, because they really put in the work. “Your makeup, your dress, your hair! How’d you even do that?”

Arlo laughs, and it sounds so utterly relieved, Tina’s heart breaks a little. Arlo’s always been sensitive, and for someone who dresses and holds himself the way he does, he worries more than he lets on what people think of him. Especially people he cares about. She squeezes his shoulder again, and he bites his lip when he glances back at her and smiles hesitantly.

“A lot of wire, and enough hairspray to choke a bloody cow,” he says, twisting around and slinging his long legs over the coffee table so he can face the sofa. “I think we bought every bag of black feathers the craft store had, and then spent an entire weekend painting them with this stupidly expensive embossing powder. We had to get, like, ten pots of the stuff, because the craft store only had pots the size of a quarter.”

“I admire your dedication,” Nate says pleasantly, strolling over to peer over Arlo’s shoulder. They tighten just a bit before relaxing slowly. “That costuming is superb. I’ve seen professional productions that weren’t half so detailed.”

“That would be Viv’s work,” Arlo laughs, looking down at the pictures fondly. “She took whatever cheap garbage the department had for us, raided the nearest clearance fabric rack, and worked her magic. The employees at that little craft store loved and hated us in equal measure.”

Arlo is still tense, but he’s loosening up little by little, and with him Tina does too. The easy camaraderie is soothing, and she knows how much Arlo cares about his vampire friends, so it’s got to be a huge weight off his shoulders to be able to let his guard down around them. He deserves that. He deserves to be able to be himself.

Adam standing up draws Arlo’s attention like nothing else could, and he freezes like a startled rabbit again looking up at the burly blonde vampire as he approaches the sofa. He looks a split second from bolting. Tina sits up straighter and gives Adam her most daring look, squaring her shoulders to make it perfectly clear she's ready to fight the second he opens his mouth. She’ll definitely lose, sure, but she’ll make as much trouble as she can before she goes down.

He reaches out, his hand hesitating before it touches the album’s glossy page, and he looks up at Arlo with a questioning tilt to his brows. Arlo looks like he’s barely breathing, but he nods, and Adam slips one of the pictures from its sleeve. He straightens his spine, shoulders back, holding the photo and studying it carefully. His face is impossible to read, about as expressive as a bloody brick wall. Tina’s vibrating with nervous energy. She’ll fight a vampire, though. She will.

When Adam does finally speak, his voice comes out so softly Tina almost doesn’t hear it over the adrenaline rushing through her. “You look… striking.”

Striking. Oh my god.

She wants to laugh. They’re ridiculous.

“Thanks,” Arlo chokes out, his cheeks and ears going red this time.

Oh my god. Tina covers her mouth with both hands. Arlo glowers at her. It’s a lot less threatening when he’s blushing like that. “I didn’t say anything,” she mumbles against her palms.

“Your face,” he hisses, and she yelps.

“Oh! Shit!” She pulls her hands away, and he grabs her by the chin to check the damage with a click of his tongue.

Tina thought things would get better once Arlo actually kissed the man (and maybe got a leg over, but that’s only her business when she can finally get Arlo to actually talk about if the big, beefy Adonis is as missionary-with-the-lights-off as he looks) but at least they’re not just staring longingly at each other from across the room and then getting all sad about it anymore . Thankfully, Felix seems to be an old hand at clearing up the weird tension between the two of them, chiming in a delighted, “I’ve never seen you look so scary!” as he rifles through all the pictures from the Sleeping Beauty show. “I mean, you’re pretty scary when you go all furry, but also, you sort of just look like a big lanky puppy, because it’s just you, you know? This is someone else! Who is she! She's so cool!”

Arlo sighs and turns around to fix whatever Tina’s ruined with her foundation, and throws himself back into dolling her up. Thankfully, the actual festival’s not for a while yet. She complained about the unnecessarily early start when Arlo suggested the time, but now she’s glad he’s such a persnickety prick about scheduling. “I had a lot of fun with it,” he admits, shrugging his shoulders. “The original script notes said to get, y’know, sort of silly with it, but I wasn’t a big fan of that angle for a character like her. Yeah, I wanted to be campy, but not in the way…” He purses his lips. “Okay, well, Nate probably knows this, but a lot of classical ballets that have a female villains do this thing with them that I hate.” He frowns deeply, patting at Tina’s chin with gentle ferocity. “ An evil female character is supposed to be sort of… sort of a cautionary tale, I guess? Like your typical bitter spinster crone, the old hag, or the wicked stepsisters, things like that. So they’ll specifically cast a male dancer and put them in bright, gaudy facepaint and garish costumes that are supposed to be cartoonish and ugly, that you're supposed to find funny, to show you that this character is bad because she’s indelicate and mannish, and that’s why she’s evil.”

His mouth twists around the words, and he looks up, back at the vampires, leaving Tina a moment to really appreciate that Arlo’s comfortable enough with them to do what he’s only ever really done with her—which is ramble about something he’s passionate about. It’s always fun to watch. He turns back to her, and she just wishes his hands weren’t occupied, because he’s a big hand-talker otherwise. “I got the role because the professor thought it would be funny to stick me in a role like that, being so tall and, y’know,” he gestures vaguely to his faded old band tee and dark jeans, the thick leather cuff around his wrist. Tina doesn’t see what he really means, seeing as he looks cozy and content right now, but she gets what he’s going for. “He was expecting me to be awkward about it. The big, tough guy doing drag as the creepy crone caricature.” He huffs. “I talked with Demi about it, and we decided to say fuck that.” He sits up straighter, tilts up his chin, and looks down his nose at Tina.

She peers up at him, wide-eyed, and suddenly wonders if this is how Demi felt, playing Aurora when Carabosse looked down her nose at her like an insect under her heel.

“I thought Carabosse deserved better,” Arlo says fiercely. “If I was going to be a villain, I was going to be a damned good villain. I was going to tower over all the delicate, dainty little princesses and fairies, and I was going to be fierce. Professor Dacey wanted Aurora, and Candide, and Florine to be the epitome of sweet, delicate femininity, the ideal damsel in any classical show. Carabosse is supposed to be the complete opposite. You’re supposed to root against her, not want to be her. She’s a threat to the idea of womanhood, of the ideal feminine. She’s bold and selfish and she takes what she wants. I leaned into that. I even danced en pointe for parts of it, even though Carabosse isn't supposed to, and between the rehearsals and the actual performance, I thought my feet were gonna fall off, but it was worth it.”

Arlo smiles, and Tina is thrilled by the wickedness of it. She thinks she even sees just a hint of fang. Arlo’s been so careful about showing his teeth, ever since he told her what happened to him, why he disappeared for so long, so it's somehow special for him to feel like he can show her even a hint of what he’s become.

“Professor Dacey was pissed, afterwards, of course,” Arlo laughs, but there’s an edge to it. He seems to shrink. From Arlo to Carabosse to Arlo again. He looks down at his hands as they work on Tina more than at her face. “He didn’t, y’know, say anything he could have gotten fired over, but he did rail about being left out of planning and the budget and all that rot. Got even madder when Demi pointed out we’d spent our own money on the costumes. I think if he was tall enough to look down on me, he would have.” He snorts, a bitter curl to his mouth. Tina thinks of it painted bold, dark purple, thinks of how it would look with those teeth behind it. She wonders if he’d let her do his makeup for the festival. She’s not nearly as good at details as he is, but she’s no slouch either.

“You should have let me put raw fish in his hubcaps,” Tina mutters, just to make Arlo laugh. It works, and she beams at him.

“Would have been a waste of fish,” he mumbles, sucking his teeth. He finally picks up a bright eyeshadow palette and starts waffling over colors. He’s quiet while he deliberates, but after a while, he sighs. “I liked being Carabosse,” he says, like it’s a secret. Like he’s trying very hard not to be ashamed.

“I wish I could have seen it,” Adam says, almost dreamily. Tina could scream. “I— We could have, I mean. All of us. In solidarity.”

“Smooth,” Felix whispers.

“I’m sure it was a phenomenal performance,” Nate adds helpfully. He’s taken the album from Felix to flip through to some of Arlo’s other shows. “The passion you have for your characters shines through in just photos. It’s quite impressive.”

“You should have gone pro,” Tina mutters. “You’d be a household name by now.”

Arlo snorts and bops her with the brush. How many bops is that now? She’s certainly on a roll today. “And who’d keep you in line back here?” he teases.

Tina squints up at him and sticks out her tongue. “Like you’ve ever even tried to keep me in line, you big softie. You love the chaos, just admit it.”

“I’ll admit you to the hospital when you do something stupid and get yourself hurt again, how about that?”

They bicker like children back and forth while Arlo finishes her makeup, a wash of pink, purple, and blue eyeshadow and matching lipstick, overlaid with a lustrous sparkle to her cheekbones and a cute little black heart-shaped beauty mark under one eye. Felix gets a bi flag heart to match her eyeshadow around one eye, and then the rest is a sort of confetti splash of sparkly stars and hearts in every color. Even Nate goes for the bi eyeshadow (Bi-shadow? She should have been saying that this whole time!), making him, Tina, and Felix a matching set, and Mason consents to a very simple pan flag on his cheek. Tina suspects Adam only allows the eyeshadow treatment so he can have Arlo cup his face all tenderly, but she keeps the thought (mostly) to herself. He looks good in pastels, she thinks when she sees the finished blue, pink, and white.

Arlo draws a little heart under his eye too. The heart in Tina's chest almost explodes with warmth.

And then Arlo disappears into the bathroom, leaving the rest of them to entertain themselves while he gets ready on his own. They go through the album some more, and Tina tells them all about her favorite shows, because she went to every single one she could manage, and got Arlo’s school friends to send her videos of the ones she couldn’t. Tina Poname is Arlo Priestley’s number one fan, and that will never change. Not even now that she's got some competition.

When Arlo comes out of the bathroom, they all look up in sync, and he stands there, shifting anxiously from foot to foot under the attention, and lifts his hands in a stilted shrug. “So?” he asks, smiling nervously. He’s changed clothes, too. Tight pants, big boots, a mesh-sleeved black shirt underneath his patch-and-pin-covered denim vest. His wrists jingle with chunky bracelets, and his hair is braided neatly over one shoulder. But his makeup is what really steals the show. That insanely sharp cat-eye, of course, but one eye is done up in blue, pink, and white, and the other in yellow, white, purple, and black. He smiles timidly. “I, uh, I couldn’t really decide on just one,” he says, sticking his gloved hands into the pockets of his vest. “I’m, um, I’m not sure which one’s really right for me yet, I guess?” He shrugs again, and Tina watches delightedly as Adam stands up slowly, his eyes on Arlo with such an awed intensity she wonders if he even remembers there’s other people in the room. Arlo keeps babbling as he approaches, the words tumbling nervously from his black-painted lips. “I sort of like matching with you, Adam, and I know they’re both fine, but I—”

Adam grabs him by the lapels of his jacket, yanks him down to his level, and silences him with a kiss. Tina throws her arms up in the air with an impulsive shriek of “WOO!” that Felix echoes even louder. They high-five over Mason’s head, and he looks like he wants to throw them both out the window. Nate sits by with a pleasant little smile, which only fades when he takes note of the clock.

Adam and Arlo are still kissing, Arlo’s hands cupped around the vampire’s cheeks and Adam clinging to his vest like he'll drown if he lets go. Tina thinks she might see a hint of tongue when Nate loudly clears his throat.

They break apart with an indecent smacking noise, and Tina yelps out a sharp laugh when she sees Arlo’s black lipstick smeared all around Adam’s mouth.

Nate crosses his arms and smiles dryly at them. “Why don’t you two go fix your faces,” he suggests. “The rest of us will make sure the car is packed for the festival.”

“Um, yes. You— We—” Arlo fumbles for a bit, touching his smeared lips, his eyes just a bit dazed. He and Adam look at each other, and then flee for the bathroom together.

Tina’s never been more excited for a festival in her life.

[parkerspicedlatte]

First Mornings and Little Feet

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: none

What's it got: FLUFF and Peter Parker x Reader

  You knew they were in your room before you’d even opened your eyes. Their little feet padded down the hallway first to you parents room, then to yours. You felt the body next to yours shift ever so slightly as the door slowly creaked open.

“She’s sleeping” one whispered, then the other, not even triying to be quiet asked “Who’s that?”

“Maybe she got married.” the first voice offered but was quickly shot down by the other rudely telling him that there would have been ‘a wedding with a pretty dress and a big cake.”

  You smile to yourself while listening to their little conversation. Unortunitly for you, the small smile gave away the fact that you were no longer sleeping.

“I think she’s awake.”

  The smile quckly disapeers and you try to cover-up your mistake by nuzzling your face into your pillow. The pillow was saturated with the smell of a familiar yet, unfamiliar shampoo.

“No she’s not her eyes are closed.” One says sticking their pudgy little finger in the corner of your eye to prove their point

“Nuh unh she’s just pretending.”

  You could hear more whispering but couldn’t make out the words, then you hear their footsteps walking towards the door, then door door clicked shut. You sigh in relief as you were worried that they’d wake Peter up. It’s not like you didn’t want them to meet him, but you weren;t really sure how he’d react to your little brother and sister as he didnt have any of his own. He seemed good with the younger ones in his appartment building, always asking them about their favourite teacher and about the characters on their tiny shoes and backpacks, telling them how cool he thought they were. But maybe being woken up at 7am on a Saturday wasn’t the best idea. Especially since this was his first time staying over. You didn’t want to throw him to the wolves that your siblings could be so early in the morning. Though since they’d left, luck seemed to be on your side. Or so you thought.

  As you opened your eyes, you were startled to find a small pair of bright green ones starring right back at you, just mere inches away.

“I told you she was pretending.” Abbi giggle, poking your cheek

“Shhhh,” You hold your finger up to your lips, “don’t be so loud honey.”

“Is that your husband?” questioned your little brother, emerging from his hiddling place behind your desk chair. You hadn’t even seen him because there were a few autume coats and sweaters flung over in disarray.

“No Theo he’s not.” You whisper back, trying to inspire them to be more quiet. They were only four and hadn;t quite drasped the concept of speaking softly when others are sleeping. Or speaking softly in general.

“Told you so.” Abbi chanted, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

“Hey be nice.” He quickly dodges away from you before you could swat her. Not that you would have. You didn’t have the energy plus you usually left the discipling to your parents.

  Theo and you were used to Abbi’s assertive and bossy behaviour. She was the more fiesty one while Theo was more shy and would be happy to go along with whatever his sisters were doing.

  Before she could mouth back at you, Peter rolled over snuggling into your back. You could feel his brows furrowing as he tried to make sense of where the small voices were comign from. You smile as he sleepily grumbles incoherrant words into yor shoulder.

“Hey it’s alright, go back to sleep.” You reasure him, rubbing your thumb across his forearm that he’d lazyily slung across your waist.

“Can you make us breakfast?” Theo asked giving you the look of a million pathetic puppys. Whoever said the puppy eyes didn’t work with green eyes, was clearly wrong.

“How about you two go eat cereal and watch TV until mum and da wake up instead."

“Because,” Abbi gestures as if she’s in some teen-drama “there’s no more milk.” Clearly this was a high ranking problem in her little world.

“Okay okay fine, just give me a few minutes alright.” Giving in before she got any louder.

  They nod eagerly and scamper out of the room, but before Theo shut the door he looks back to give you a little smile and wave. You chuckle to yourself at how sweet and adorable he could be in the morning, quite the contrast to his sister. Which you found odd because he was the least cuddly out of the two when they were babies.

  What you didn’t reallize was that Theo was actually waving to Peter. Not even two second after the door clicked shut, you feel him smile into your shoulder before pressing gentle kisses to your neck.

“How long have you been awake?” you ask as you turn around in his arms to face him.

“Few minutes.” He answers grinnign sleepily at your messy bed hair. “I didn’t realize your siblings were that young. I was expecting like ten or twelves years old.”

“Mmmmm nope they’re four.”

“Both?”

“Mmm hmm. Twins. Not identical obviously.”

“Interesting, who’s older?”

“Yeah we have no idea.”

  Peter looked at you quizically, trying to understand what you just told him. He couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not.

  You sighed before answering the unspoken question.

“We weren’t there when they were born. They were dropped off at a hospital the day after. They’re adopted.”

  Peter’s eyebrows shot up, nealy to his hair line as he listened to what you were revealing.

“I wow I had no id-I have no idea what what to say.”

“It’s alright babe, it’s not that big of a deal. They know they��re adopted. It’s some big secret. My parents have told them sice day one.”

“Man that must have been hard on them.”

“Easier then trying to hide the truth their whoel lives. Plus my parents are both red heads, I think they’d get suspicious after a while since they’re both brunettes.”

“True, so are uh are you adopted too?”

“Yep.”

“Hunh.”

  There was an awkward pause in the conversation as Peter mawled over what he’d just learned.

“Me too.” He half whispered

“What?”

“I’m adopted too.”

“Yeah, I guess you are. Huh, I never thought of it that way.”

“Me neither.” He chuckles at his confession. “So does this have anything to do with the fact that in grade 8 you told the teacher that you would rather adopt kids then have your own.”

“Um yeah actually. Peter I gotta say I’m kind of impressed that yo remember that.”

“Ohhhhh I see. You didn’t believe me when I mentioned that I’ve had my eyes on you for a while sis ya?”

“I know now.” You giggle “That actually makes me feel kind of bad that I didn’t really notice you until much later.”

“Meh, no harm done. I think it just gave me time to fall for you.”

“Oh my goodness that was cheesy.”

“Always for you.” He replies making you visibly cringe. Peter leans over to close the gap betweenn your lips. They’d just barely connected when you heard a chorus of giggles and ‘ewwws’ erupt from the doorway behind you.

  You sigh and roll over to tell them off but as soon as you moved, they bolted out of the room giggling as they went.

  Peter chuckled lightly at your departed audience.

“I am so sorry about them.”

“Why be sorry? They’re cute.”

“Believe me, they stop being cute after a while.”

“Where are you going?” he questions while youwiggled out of his grasp and out of bed.

“I have to feed the monsters remember?” you remind him as you searched the through the sweaters laying over your chair, finally settling on a navy blue one that was just slightly baggy on your frame. You stand in front of the mirror while you put your hair up in a messy bun.

“And where do you think your going?” you ask noticing in the reflection that he’d pulled the blankets off of himself to sit on the edge of the bed and stretch.

“Thought we were feeding the quote-unquote monsters. Unless you don’t want me to.”

“Peter I’m not going to say no.” You giggle, sitting yoruself down on his lap, bringing his arms around your torso. “I just didn’t think that you’d want to.”

“Anything with you is an adventure.” He smiles kissing the tip of your nose, then yoru forehead and at last, your lips. You grin into the soft kiss, pulling away after a few moments.

“Good morning.” You whisper

“Good morning yourself.” He leans back in for another kiss but you move your head before he can connect his lips with yours.

“Can’t get too destracted remember?”

“Mmmm of course.” Honestly how is it possible for someone to look that cute after denying them a kiss.

“Well then, off to feed the monsters.”

  The two of you walked out of the room and into the kitchen to see Abbi and Theo sitting in front of the TV watching Paw Patrol. You put two pans on the stove to heat them up while Peter takes the eggs and bacon out of the fridge. By then you’d caught the attention of yoru brother and sister who’d decided they wanted a job. Well more like demanded a job. I’ll let you figure out who did that...

  So you assigned them the task of toasting and buttering the bread. While they did that, they would take turns tackling Peter. One would cling to his leg or foot while the other would jump onto his back. Eventually the toast was forgotten by them but you didn’t mind. All of your previous worries involving Peter and your siblings dissapeared the moment you looked back to see them all playing together.

  After a few moments of flipping the bacon and eggs, you turned to see Peter walk back into the kitchen with his arms flexed and a child hanging off of each bicep, dangling a foot or so off the ground, giggling and squealing the whole time. He just carried them around as if they weighed nothing.

  That just happened to be the moment your parents walked in to see their youngest children hanging off the arms of a stranger. It wasn’t a complete surprise as you had mentioned the day before that Peter might stay over. You couldn’t believe that they didn’t forbdi it. You were prepared to have a big list of reasons why they couldn’t say no. Thankfully, that wasn’t needed. They seemed to be okay with the idea under the promise that nothing ‘funny’ would happen in the bedroom. They far rather the two of you stay at the house than sneaking off somewhere with someone they haven’t met. Well now it was time to meet the parents anyways.

“Morning hun, that smells delicious.” You mother says as she walkes into the kitchen, then stop when she notices the clowning aorund that is happening. “Ahhh this explains the goggling. You must be Peter. It’s nice to finally meet the boy who stole Y/N’s heart.”

“Mum!” you scoff mortifies and blushing as bright as the bacon.

“He’s cute.” She whispers as she passes you to steal a piece of bacon from a plate.

“Hi it um, it's nice to uh meet you too Mrs. L/N.” Peter stammers blushing nearly as red as you , if not more. He’d barely had time to recover before your dad walks in.

“Ah yes, I was definetly prepared for this, this morning. Meeting the boyfriend. Today, the morning of today.” He stalles trying to figure out how to handle the situation. He’d completly forgotten about Peter staying over. That was kind of the plan though, you had asked while he was watching golf so he wouldn’t give it too much thought then freak out.

“Daaaaad. Stop being weird.”

“Right, sorry uh I’d shake your hand but i see that they’re both a little full.” He recovered, jesturing to his kids still clinging to Peter.

“That’s alright.” Peter said starting to calm down once he realized that your dad was just as freaked out by this as he was.

  Peter had admitted earlier that he was nervous about meeting your parents. Especially you dad. Apparently the last time he had to meet someone's dad it didn’t go over to well. But other than the first awkward conversation, the rest of the morning went sommothly. Peter was smart about not showing PDA with your parents around. You mum just loved him right away while you dad was more hesitant. But, he came around. Honestly this mornign could not have gone better. Just you and your little family that you’d accumulated over the years

AN: Okay so this has only been spell checked so please forgive the awful grammar and such. This is the only fic I've done this week because I've been busy with family stuff and lots of home work n top of that. Hope you like it, thanks for reading-xx Reetz <3

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Preview 2

Ah shit givin you guys both previews in one day? Yeah well how could I resist? I’m totally into what I’m writing in this chapter so far, so I have to show off just a little bit. Now I don’t refer to Stevonnie by name in this preview yet, because I’m saving that for when Amethyst officially dubs them by that name, so hopefully you guys won’t get too confused, but still, here it is! Enjoy!

“Whoa…” they gasped, their eyes widening at the singular deep, yet still rather feminine voice they heard instead of either of their own. “Why am I-” They paused, frowning upon noticing Steven’s discarded flip flops and Connie’s flats lying near them. An arm, much longer and more mature than it should have been, reached towards one of the shoes, picking it up as they examined it curiously. “Why is… your sandal too small for my—your feet…?” They trailed off, glancing up in bewilderment towards the twins, who could only stare back at them with wide eyes and completely stunned expressions. “Guys, what’s…” they paused again, looking to the adult sized hands that apparently belonged to them, dumbfounded. “What’s going on?”

“That’s… a really good question…” Dipper remarked with apt confusion.

“Ok, you’re a really cool-looking mysterious stranger, whoever you are,” Mabel began with something of a small smile, despite her own puzzlement. “But uh… where’d you come from? And where did Steven and Connie go?”

“Huh?” they raised an eyebrow, frowning as they shook their head. “Mabel, what are you talking about? I’m… I… we’re… right here…?” The twins exchanged a doubtful glance upon hearing this, neither of them sure of what to make of the odd but beguiling person who had so suddenly appeared in place of Steven and Connie. And yet, the pair themselves was still mostly convinced that they were right. “Guys, look, I-” They cut themselves off with a sharp gasp, looking to their longer legs and arms once again. Their eyes were huge as they slowly ran their hands over their legs and alarmingly slender yet curvy figure, confirming that they could both feel the sensation of the gentle touch simultaneously. Their growing amazement only increased as they glanced down at their light jean shorts, as well as the cropped pink tee-shirt bearing a remarkably familiar star emblem on it, one that was covered by a shorter, light blue tank top. But by far, what was the most telling was the unmistakable pink gemstone fixed to their shared navel, the one thing that told them they were no longer Steven or Connie.

They were both.

“Steven?!” they gasped in shock, their hands pressing against the sides of their very long, very thick dark wavy hair. “Connie! I-I did it! Y-you did it?” The twins could only watch in continued confusion as the stranger slowly and shakily began to pick themselves up off the ground and having trouble doing so thanks to the unfamiliar distribution of their weight. “Wait,” they began again, their shared mind having a complicated time trying to grasp what was happening. “This is—no. This is… great!” They grinned widely as they finally pushed themselves up into an uneven standing position. “Oh my gosh, look at you now!” They exclaimed, glancing down at their impressive new form. “I can’t believe it!”

“Um, hey, remember us?” Dipper spoke up somewhat caustically. “Care to explain what the heck is going on here?”

“Dipper, Mabel!” they laughed, looking down at the twins seeing as how they now easily towered over them both by quite a bit. “It’s me! It’s us!”

“Uh… we’re not following…” Mabel frowned, still confused.

“You guys!” they exclaimed, unable to contain their excitement as they rose to their full height. “I’m a fusion!”

“What?!” both twins gasped in shared shock, something that the fusion got quite a good chuckle out of.

“Yeah, I guess it is pretty surprising…” they smirked, putting a hand against their neck and blushing slightly.

“Wait, so what you’re telling us is that you’re… Steven and Connie… fused together?” Dipper asked, still trying to understand, even if the entire concept was beyond baffling.

“Uh huh,” the fusion nodded, still smiling brightly.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” Mabel squealed in sudden excitement as she ran up to the fusion, taking both of their hands. “This is so awesome! I mean, when the Gems fuse it’s awesome enough on its own, but you guys fusing is literally the most awesome thing to ever happen! You guys look just like a super model!”

“Mabel!” Dipper quickly scolded, especially as the fusion froze, their face red in newfound embarrassment.

“No, uh… its ok,” they chuckled somewhat awkwardly. “I mean, we are pretty tall now, so it kinda makes sense…”

“So, how did this even happen in the first place?” Dipper asked, looking the fusion up and down curiously. “I thought only Gems could fuse with each other.”

“I honestly have no idea,” the fusion shrugged. “One minute, we were just dancing and the next, we’re… like this,” they motioned to themselves. “And it feels great! Well… great and a little weird but… I think we’ll get used to it.”

“So who’s in charge of what?” Mabel asked inquisitively, looking up to the fusion with a wide smile. “Does Steven control your legs while Connie works the arms, or is it the other way around? Do guys take turns talking or are you both talking at the same time and it comes out as one voice? Do you have any special fusion powers? Like flying? Or singing really good? Not that you guys can’t already do a great job of that when you’re apart, but still.”

“Hm… I don’t think we—I mean, I have any special powers, aside from the ones Steven already has…” the fusion mused thoughtfully. “And as for who controls what, we just… sort of do it together. It’s… kind of hard to explain…”

“So now that you guys are… uh, together… what now?” Dipper asked tentatively.

The fusion didn’t answer this right away but instead seemed to take a moment to think. And as they did so, both of the halves that composed them were at an initial loss. After all, by all accounts, they shouldn’t have even been able to exist together in this way. But now that they did, they couldn’t very well let it go so soon. They weren’t sure how long they intended on staying fused, but if one thing was certain between them both, it was that they wanted to enjoy every second that they were together for. And what better way to do that than by taking pride in what they now were. “I have to show everybody!” they exclaimed brightly, already leading the way up to the temple, with the twins following not too far behind.

[suruxukuth]

[Quiz takes place in the new canon, days before escape.]

Quiz 2 [Retcon]

   1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Oh, we hit the ground running with this quiz! Actually, yes. Sometimes I feel like I'm a character in a video game. It helps with my line of work, honestly, when you don't think about targets as people.

   2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Bitch I AM the dark.

   3. The person you would never want to meet? I don't know, I kind of met them all? I guess if Zra'ha isn't my mother, I might be kinda nervous to meet her (my mother). Who the fuck gives up their clearly awesome in every conceivable way twin boys?

   4. What is your favorite word? Huh ... is there one I use a lot? I know I'm slipping into some bad habits with slang-- oh, right. "Fuck"

   5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Do you remember the tree in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special? That's me. I am that tree.

   6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? You stupid bitch, what the fuck are you doing? You're going to get everyone killed. Also, why do I want to punch myself in the face?

   7. What shirt are you wearing? Like, RIGHT now? None, and I'm too lazy to look and see what I'm going to be wearing in a sec.

   8. What do you label yourself as? Well I thought I was the protagonist ...

   9. Bright room or dark room? Bitch I AM a dark room.

   10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Getting fucked, probably.

   11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? Being six was fun, that was the least stressful year I've ever had in my fucking life.

   12. Who told you they loved you last? Ussta che.

   13. Your worst enemy? The fucking matron.

   14. What is your current desktop picture? Me, sliding across Bird's desk in a seductive pose while he works. I've knocked everything off the desk. Everything. I may have a rose in my mouth. Wait, what was the question again? Oh, I thought you meant a literal desk top.

   15. Do you like someone? This is kind of a stupid question, doesn't everyone like someone? Also, I'm married.

   16. The last song you listened to? That music sex Bird was listening to last night, holy shit.

   17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? The matron, but that would be too quick.

   18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? The matron, but that wouldn't be enough.

   19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? The matron, who would have to suck my dick non-stop. I'd just. Tie her under the desk and get real interested in doing paperwork too. You could make a goddamn scholar out of me yet.

   20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) My abs. :D My eyes, my hair, my ass ...

   21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? Funny you should ask. Anyway, probably me, but female, and I spend six hours getting violently fucked by my husband who may or may not be actually turning into a monster each time he busts a nut. I then black out. I'm pretty sure he's still fucking me and I think I'm okay with that but I'm going to have to do some more soul searching to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me.

   22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? None of my talents are secret, I'm a huge show off.

   23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Ilhars. That answer hasn't changed from last time, so go ahead and look it up.

   24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Obviously I'd get a sandwich with every ingredient known to humankind and then dissect it and eat the individual parts over a long period of time. That's just being smart.

   25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? I have exactly no concept of money or how it works. Bribes, I guess?

   26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Is there a plane that flies underground? Because I need that shit if I'm getting out of this place.

   27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? I'd pull it's wings off, tape them to my back, and go cliff diving. Fuck if I know shit about alcohol, are you fucking serious? Also what the fuck kind of heaven is full of alcohol? That's the most boring, useless piece of trash I've ever heard. Heaven doesn't exist, and if it did, it'd be me watching over my husband and fucking smiting the shit out of people that get near him with goddamn lightening bolts. Then he dies and we snuggle on a fucking cloud or whatever until the end of time.

   28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? If you sexually assault ANYONE I will mutilate your genitals and personally flay you alive, making sure you have enough toxin in you to keep you wide awake through the experience. You die when I let you.

   29. What is your favorite expletive? FUCK.

   30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? I'm wearing all my clothes, right? ... That's ... kind of the entirety of everything I own that I love? So I guess I'd go and see if I can grab something Bird wants. If he doesn't want or need anything, I guess I go in and save the preserved heart of my most hated enemy.

   31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? That's actually a way tougher question than you might think. Does erasing it mean I only forget it, or that it never happens? If I only forget it, I'd want to erase my Zra'ha and I getting attacked last. If erasing it means it never happens, as fucked up as it sounds, I'd need to erase the engagement between Bird and Kora, that shit has kept me traumatized for years, and it would help serve to protect Bird as well, who is always my priority first. Zra'ha is tough, but Bird is ... well ... I get stuff stuck in my head a lot, and it's always been about Bird getting hurt this way, and it's the one thing that makes me want to stab myself in the guts until I finally get it out of my head.

   32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Who the hell wrote this quiz? A four year old? I wouldn't fucking bother with sleeping with celebrities, for one, that sounds fucking creepy as hell. Also I don't fucking care about anywhere else in the world, I just want out of HERE.

   33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Well hello there handsome stranger that I absolutely do not know or find familiar what-so-ever. Sorry, but nobody I know is dead right now. Could you give me a rain-check? I want my fucking husband back.

   34. What was your last dream about? Getting fucked by mythological monsters.

   35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? In bed? Fuck no, I just got pounded like that side of beef in Rocky. I LITERALLY only just experienced sex like, twenty four hours ago for the first time. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. At least getting fucked means I probably don't need to figure that shit out immediately.

   36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Nah, but my husband is a doctor, so every day is like me being in the hospital.

   37. Have you ever built a snowman? No, do you wanna?

   38. What is the color of your socks? Realistically speaking I should be wearing socks so my feet don't get blistered in my boots, but I don't think anyone really cares for being super realistic, so ... no.

   39. What type of music do you like? Metal, Jpop/Kpop, Rock...

   40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? You know, I bet I answered this before... Oh, I didn't? Okay, uh... sun... ...set. Seems like that's the more romantic one? Or maybe sunrise-- actually yeah, I like that better. That means we stayed up all night.

   41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? I don't know? Chocolate? I've had so few sweet things in my life that I don't really have a preference.

   42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) The fuck is this? I don't care.

   43. Do you have any scars? No, but I bet'cha I'm gonna just from my sex life.

   44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I've literally never attended a day of school in my life, except when I went with Bird, but he was the one doing the "school work", not me.

   45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My height! Also maybe the length of my

   46. Are you reliable? When it comes to assassinations? Yes. When it comes to dealing with stress? No.

   47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? What's it like not existing anymore, bitch?

   48. Do you hold grudges? No, of course not, but I swear on my life that I will hold the heart of my greatest enemy in my hand before my life has ended. By which I mean yes I fucking hold grudges. I hold them closer than I hold my own fucking husband.

   49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? Well my husband associates with birds (obviously) but he's also revealed a more wolf-ish side, so ... can I get me a winged devil wolf? I don't care if it's black or white.

   50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh, probably a bunch. I guess right now it's when Bird had to stop us in the middle of sex to try to explain some stuff about basic sex ed. I felt embarrassed, because I kinda knew that part and I was referring to something else, but I didn't exactly have the heart to correct him and just went with it.

   51. Are you a good liar? Apparently!

   52. How long could you go without talking? Three seconds on a slow day.

   53. What has been you worst haircut/style? When we were younger, one time when Bird was really, REALLY stressed, I tried shaving it super short because I know my naturally messy hair kind of pisses him off. It was the dumbest goddamn thing I ever did and I looked like a fucking idiot. He ended up having to fix it because it was so uneven. On the bright side, he stopped freaking out. After that I spent like a half a year miserable and looking like an army rookie.

   54. Have you ever baked your own cake? No, but that sounds like it could be fun.

   55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I'm working on my common accent, actually. I guess that'd be "English" for some people.

   56. What do you like on your toast? I kind of prefer it dry, actually.

   57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I've been trying to teach myself how to draw by tracing my manga so I can draw pictures of me and Bird. It's ... not going well. I should stick to daggers.

   58. What would be you dream car? I don't know, one with wheels that's really low to the ground and kind of pointed in the front?

   59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. I don't have to explain my masturbation to you, you dirty fucker. Also we don't own a shower and I don't jack off. I might get familiar with my new anatomy though. Like, real familiar.

   60. Do you believe in aliens? Aren't aliens basically just sky mutants?

   61. Do you often read your horoscope? We don't actually have horoscopes down here. No stars to really be born under, you know?

   62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? D. Because of this: 8===D

   63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Uh, dragons, duh?

   64. What do you think about babies? I'm going to start crying, I'm so happy and so fucking scared right now. I feel better knowing Bird's onboard, though, I was kind of worried about whether or not he'd even be interested, but it turns out he REALLY is. I hope that means he'll love it as much as I do. I hope it makes him happy.

   65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. Oh, I get to ask a question now? Uh. Okay. I'm just kind of screaming into the void, though. What is the one thing you want most in the entire universe? It can be literally anything. It can be material, immaterial, it can be a power, or the ability to change an event, something on a cosmic or divine level, etc.