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lindamccartneysstrap · 7 months ago

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okay! i explained all of these, with sources and quotes. under a cut because it's long as all fuck. to be clear i want everybody to know there's sooo much crazy shit not on the image you could probably do a follow-up iceberg with if u wanted to. op feel free to let me know i if i misunderstood anything you put or anything like that <3

tier 1 -self explanatory methinks

tier 2 -

july 6th 1957 - the day john and paul met. very significant day obviously many interesting accounts about it. if you're truly new to mclennonism start there. paul's always talking about john's "beery breath" which i love. from here today: What about the time we met? (What about the time we met?) / Well, I suppose that you could say that we were playing hard to get

david bailey photoshoot - iconic photoshoot where all those gayass black and white photos of john and paul come from. david bailey: "I told John to close his eyes because I could feel this tension between him and Paul. I did them [together] afterwards; I got them looking different ways because there was such a tension. Although I’ve never seen it like those two guys – Oasis. I was doing their first Rolling Stone cover and I did it in ten minutes because I thought they were going to kill each other."

mirror images - i assume this is metaphorical, i.e. "The thing about me and John is that we were different, but we weren't that different. I think Linda (McCartney) put her finger on it when she said me and John were like mirror images of each other. Even down to how we started writing together, facing each other, eyeball-to-eyeball, exactly like looking in the mirror," McCartney said in Britain's Mirror Wednesday. Or Paul: We wrote with two guitars, John and I. The joy of that was that I was left-handed while he was right-handed, so I was looking in a mirror and he was looking in a mirror.

but also paul took some actual mirror images of john which is kind of fun

beat the meatles - "What it was," he explains after I have prompted him, "was over at John's house, and it was just a group of us. And instead of just getting roaring drunk and partying—I don't even know if we were staying over or anything—we were all just in these chairs, and the lights were out, and somebody started masturbating, so we all did."

There would be about five of them: McCartney, Lennon, and maybe three of Lennon's friends. As they each concentrated on their mission, anyone in the group was encouraged to shout out a name that would offer relevant inspiration.

"We were just, 'Brigitte Bardot!' 'Whoo!'" McCartney says, "and then everyone would thrash a bit more."

At least until one of them—the one you would perhaps expect—opted for disruption over stimulation.

"I think it was John sort of said, 'Winston Churchill!'" McCartney remembers, and acts out the aghast, stymied reactions.

I ask whether this ritual took place often.

"There weren't really orgies, to my knowledge. There were sexual encounters of the celestial kind, and there were groupies."

"I think it was a one-off," McCartney replies. "Or maybe it was like a two-off. It wasn't a big thing. But, you know, it was just the kind of thing you didn't think much of. It was just a group. Yeah, it's quite raunchy when you think about it. There's so many things like that from when you're a kid that you look back on and you're, 'Did we do that?' But it was good harmless fun. It didn't hurt anyone. Not even Brigitte Bardot."

(the term "beat the meatles" comes from the new york post headline about the story lol)

too many people / how do you sleep -“Too Many People” is the opening song of Paul and Linda McCartney’s 1971 album “Ram“. The lyrics were interpreted as targeting John Lennon and Yoko Ono, which Paul acknowledged years later...At the time it was surely an understatement to say that there was “one tiny little reference” to John Lennon in this song. “Too Many People” opens with the words “Piss off,” which McCartney eventually admitted was a direct attack on Lennon....In response, Lennon wrote “How Do You Sleep?” for his album Imagine, an attack at McCartney featuring musical contributions from George Harrison. "paul has said that only the "too many people preaching practices" and "you took your lucky break and broke it in two" are the only references to john but well, That was your last mistake / I find my love awake and waiting to be / Now what can be done for you? / She's waiting for me, yeah. How do you sleep kinda has the line A pretty face may last a year or two, which is funny like ok so u think he's got a pretty face?

yoko reveals john's bisexuality - Yoko: “Well, that’s another thing. John and I had a big talk about it, saying, basically, all of us must be bisexual. And we were sort of in a situation of thinking that we’re not [bisexual] because of society. So we are hiding the other side of ourselves, which is less acceptable. But I don’t have a strong sexual desire towards another woman.”

paul vs. yoko - i don't even know where to start on this one paul and yoko have had a weird relationship for decades. paul and yoko is its own crazy rabbit hole. Yoko, June 4th 1968: I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul.

tier 3 -

pyramus and thisbe - the beatles did a shakespeare performance. 'Paul and John play the star-crossed lovers Pyramus and Thisbe'. "For the Shakespeare spoof, Lennon took the female role of Thisbe, McCartney played Pyramus [...]. Incidentally, McCartney later owned a cat he named Thisbe." ("""""incidentally"""""). supposedly john had a cat named pyramus but i've never seen any sort of corroboration.

hey jude - "He said it was written about Julian, my child. He knew I was splitting with Cyn and leaving Julian. He was driving over to say hi to Julian. He’d been like an uncle to him. You know, Paul was always good with kids. And so he came up with ‘Hey Jude’.

But I always heard it as a song to me. If you think about it… Yoko’s just come into the picture. He’s saying, ‘Hey, Jude – hey, John.’ I know I’m sounding like one of those fans who reads things into it, but you can hear it as a song to me. The words ‘go out and get her’ – subconsciously he was saying, Go ahead, leave me. On a conscious level, he didn’t want me to go ahead. The angel in him was saying, ‘Bless you.’ The devil in him didn’t like it at all because he didn’t want to lose his partner."

here today - Paul McCartney composed "Here Today" in mid-1981,[3] less than a year after John Lennon was murdered. In a 1982 interview with The Los Angeles Times, McCartney said that due to the honest and emotional nature of the song he was "kind of crying" when he wrote it.[4] He even found it difficult to talk about with the other remaining members of the Beatles.[5] The structure of the song itself is written like a dialogue between Lennon and McCartney. McCartney says that Lennon used to "lay into" McCartney, but often did not really mean it, and this is emulated in the hypothetical conversation where the two bicker over whether or not they really know each other. The song is about McCartney really trying to talk to Lennon, but finding it futile after the latter's death.[6]

beatles sandwich - "When we were super close…examples being, like, going down the motorway and the van had no air-conditioning and it was bitter, in the middle of winter, and we lay on top of each other, literally. It was the only way we could stay warm. We suffered for a while, just shivering, and then someone said: Well, why don't we…? So we did a Beatles sandwich"

shared clothes - many many examples of them (all 4 of them really) sharing clothes or at least having matching clothes. tbh i don't really care about all that it's not that significant to me but on the day they shot the revolution and hey jude music videos john and paul apparently swapped a shirt which is more wild to me (note: the director of two of us + let it be was the one who directed the MVs)

the nerk twins - "That spring of 1960, John and I went down to a pub in Reading, The Fox And Hound, run by my cousin Betty Robbins and her husband. We worked behind the bar. It was a lovely experience that came from John and I just hitching off down there. At the end of the week we played in the pub as The Nerk Twins. We even made our own posters."

"i love paul" pin - Harry Nilsson: Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying ‘I Love Paul’. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, “Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?” He said, “Because I love Paul.” [laughs]

nme hug - "Footage of the Beatles accepting an NME award 1965, in which you can see John give Paul a brief hug"

howard stern interview - i assume this is referring to the interview with howard stern where stern says john is "the love of your life" to paul and paul gets all panicked and says "no he isn't! the women!" <- very convincing king! love the desperate tone in your voice (video here, slightly longer audio clip here)

day by day interview - beatles interview november 12 1963 where paul is sick with stomach flu and john is clearly concerned

two of us (2000) - Two of Us is a 2000 television drama (and the third original VH1 film[1]) which offers a dramatized account of April 24, 1976, six years after the break-up of the Beatles and the day in which Lorne Michaels made a statement on Saturday Night Live offering the Beatles $3,000 to reunite on his program.

It was directed by Michael Lindsay-Hogg (who also directed the 1970 Beatles film, Let It Be) and starred Jared Harris as John Lennon and Aidan Quinn as Paul McCartney. Beatles historian Martin Lewis served as the film's technical adviser, and the screenplay was written by "longtime Beatles fan and Beatlefest attendee, Mark Stanfield."[2]

btw Paul has seen the movie and liked it!

PAUL: [hums] Mhm. I did see it, actually, yeah. What was okay about that was that at the beginning of the film it said, “John and Paul met on such and such a date, in New York, and this is us imagining what might have happened. It’s pure fiction”, they did it like a disclaimer at the front. So I thought, well, that’s okay, ‘cause I can get into this. And I mean, I must say I enjoyed it, I thought I wish that had happened!

Also John kisses Paul in an elevator see clip here

understanding l/m docs - Understanding Lennon McCartney -documentary series

michael gerber blog post - Were John and Paul Lovers?

"old estranged fiance" - John: We tried to think of a number to finish off with so I could get out of here and be sick...*nervous laughter*...and we thought we’d do a nu-- a number of an old, estranged fiance of mine, called Paul. This is one I never sang. It’s an old Beatle number and we just about know it.

i don't know (johnny johnny) - This track is only known through the Forthlin Road tapes, where it sits with the series of instrumental jams. This one is a somewhat better structured blues number, with Lennon and McCartney vocalising together and separately, although a full lyric is impossible to decipher. It is presumed to be a co-write, and the lack of proper words suggests it was of recent creation, although probably not made up on the spot. The title is derived from something Lennon seems to sing – possibly referencing himself not knowing any words. feel free to listen to it and try to figure out wtf they're singing.

paul vs. stuart - "[Stu] and I used to have a deadly rivalry. I don’t know why. He was older and a strong friend of John’s. When I look back on it I think we were probably fighting for John’s attention. He was older and John was a year older than me, and that year makes a hell of a lot of difference at the age of eighteen. So I wasn’t such a big friend of Stuart’s. I was always practical, thinking our band could be great, but with him on bass there was always something holding us back" and they even very famously had a physical fight on stage: Although Cyn would write about how Stu ‘restrained himself’ when Paul was niggling him, there was one occasion when he didn’t, when the Top Ten witnessed an explosion, and yet another fight: Beatle on Beatle this time, Stu on Paul. It was the second of the two occasions Paul would count when acknowledging he was publicly seen not liking Stuart. That is, in front of an audience.

The fight’s origin is vague or varies in the telling, but everyone agrees that a tease or derogatory mention of Astrid set it off. Klaus says Stuart owed Paul some money, and Paul, nagging to get it back, made a flippant remark about Astrid being able to afford it. As Paul would remember:

“I’d always wondered if he and I ever had a fight, who would win? He was probably wondering too. I assumed I’d win because he wasn’t that big, but the strength of love entered into him or something because he was no easy match at all.”

Everyone was amazed by the manner in which Stu, so manifestly puny, could summon up such power, as if his every muted response so eighteen months of snipes and jibes accumulated in one volcanic eruption. As George put it, “Stuart suddenly got this amazing strength that Paul hadn’t bargained for.“

Klaus says Stu "picked Paul up and put him on the piano."

Pete says Stu "landed Paul such a wallop that it knocked him off his stool. [They] began struggling on the floor, rolling around, locked in the most ferocious battle… a fury of flailing fists.”

Paul always speaks of it being “a silly fight – you just stay locked for about an hour, with nobody doing anything. All the German gangsters were laughing, but it was very serious for us.”

paul/nancy wedding date - “They have been given special dispensation by the council to marry on Sunday and have chosen what would have been the groom’s former band-mate John Lennon’s 71st birthday for their big day. A spokesman for McCartney told Reuters in an email: "We are not commenting.” ... “After the wedding, she [Barbara Walters] says, they all went to Paul’s backyard where a tent was set up for the reception. […] There was a toast that Paul made to John Lennon, whose 71st birthday it was.”

philip norman books - philip norman wrote some. controversial. books. where he said all kinds of crazy shit, the peak of which is probably from his john lennon bio: “From chance remarks he had made, she (Yoko) gathered there had even been a moment when—on the principle that bohemians should try everything—he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul’s immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John’s Princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John’s voice calling out “Paul … Paul …” in a strangely subservient, pleading way. “I knew there was something going on there,” she remembers. “From his point of view, not from Paul’s. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn’t help wondering what it was really about.” (copied from here). theres a lot of other wild shit too but this is already so long. do your own research ig.

greek island - "In the summer of 1967 The Beatles, encouraged by John Lennon, agreed to buy a set of Greek islands where they intended to live and work alongside family and friends." They didn't buy them. There are some cute pics of paul being #dadmode with johns son julian you can see a couple on this page or on google.com

tier 4 -

beetles on ram cover - the back of the Ram album cover has a picture of two beetles fucking. paul's been pretty wishywashy on how deliberate it was so make of that what you will (aka it was definitely intentional)

"it's like you and me are lovers" - PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing— JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

1976 snl - There was great public demand for a Beatles reunion during the 1970s. For example, in September 1976, American promoter Sid Bernstein, who had booked many of the Beatles' historic American appearances in 1964-1966, published a full-page ad in the New York Times publicly requesting the group to reunite and offering millions of dollars.[3] On April 24, 1976, Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels parodied such offers with an on-air announcement that he would pay the Beatles $3,000 if they would perform on his program together. He joked, "divide [the money] up any way you want. If you want to give less to Ringo, that's up to you."[4] John Lennon discussed the Saturday Night Live episode, as well as his relationship with McCartney, in a September 1980 interview for Playboy:

Paul and I were together watching that show. He was visiting us at our place in the Dakota. We were watching it and almost went down to the studio, just as a gag. We nearly got into a cab, but we were actually too tired. [...] That was a period when Paul just kept turning up at our door with a guitar. I would let him in, but finally I said to him, 'Please call before you come over. It's not 1956 and turning up at the door isn't the same anymore. You know, just give me a ring.' He was upset by that, but I didn't mean it badly. I just meant that I was taking care of a baby all day and some guy turns up at the door. [...] But, anyway, back on that night, he and Linda walked in and he and I were just sitting there, watching the show, and we went, 'Ha-ha, wouldn't it be funny if we went down?' but we didn't.[5]

Paul McCartney also remembered the event for an interview: "[John] said, 'We should go down there. We should go down now and just do it.' It was one of those moments where we said, 'Let's not and say we did.'"[6]

"it's only me" - "I remember kind of arguing once about something musical or something, and I remember John kind of just taking his glasses down and saying, “It’s only me.” And putting them back up again. " + many other examples of telling this story + lyrics to No Words from Band on the Run You want to turn your head away / And someone’s thinking of you / I wish you’d see, it’s only me, / I love you.

if i fell valentine - if i fell lyrics written on the back of a valentine given to paul note the dedication

dr. winston o'boogie interview - john interview he did with HIMSELF.

couple highlights:

Q. Yes it does.. take the first track for instance "Going Down On Love," that seems to be saying something.... A. Next you'll be asking me who "Steel And Glass" is about (3rd track side 2..).. I can tell you who it isn't about, for instance, it's not about Jackie Kennedy, Mort Sahl, Sammy Davis, Better Midler... Eartha Kitt, it's not about her either.... Q. It's not Paul again... is it? I mean you two are like... I mean grow up... A. Wrong again.

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy? A. Not yet, I thought I'd save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it. Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you're usually 'keeping up with the Jones', haven't you ever... there was talk about you and PAUL... A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein... anyway I'm saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

john vs. jim - john and jim famously did not like each other lol. jim thought john was a bad influence (well...) and john didnt like jim telling paul what to do all the time "[Paul] liked it with daddy and the brother… and obviously missed his mother. And his dad was the whole thing. Just simple things: he wouldn’t go against his dad and wear drainpipe trousers. And his dad was always trying to get me out of the group behind me back, I found out later. He’d say to George: “Why don’t you get rid of John, he’s just a lot of trouble. Cut your hair nice and wear baggy trousers,” like I was the bad influence because I was the eldest, so I had all the gear first usually.

So Paul was always like that. And I was always saying, “Face up to your dad, tell him to fuck off. He can’t hit you. You can kill him [laughs], he’s an old man.” I used to say, “Don’t take that shit off him.” Because I was always brought up by a woman, so maybe it was different. But I wouldn’t let the old man treat me like that. He treated Paul like a child all the time, cut his hair and telling him what to wear, at seventeen, eighteen.

But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, “I need a steady career.” We couldn’t believe it. So I said to him—my Aunt Mimi reminded me of this the other night—he rang up and said he’d got this job and couldn’t come to the group. So I told him on the phone, “Either come or you’re out.” So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me. But it was a long trip."

a toot and a snore - A Toot and a Snore in '74 is a bootleg album consisting of the only known recording session in which John Lennon and Paul McCartney played together after the break-up of the Beatles in 1970. First mentioned by Lennon in a 1975 interview,[1] more details were brought to light in May Pang's 1983 book, Loving John, and it gained wider prominence when McCartney made reference to the session in a 1997 interview. Talking with Australian writer Sean Sennett in his Soho office, McCartney said the "session was hazy... for a number of reasons".

john vs. linda - another topic that's a rabbit hole in its own right. we got john crossing out 'wedding' and writing 'funeral' about paul and lindas wedding, saying "I didn’t think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she’s married him", this crazy ass letter where john wrote "So get that into your petty little perversion of a mind, Mrs. McCartney - the cunts asked me to keep quiet about it. Of course, the money angle is important - to all of us - especially after all the petty shit that came from your insane family/in-laws-and GOD HELP YOU OUT, PAUL - see you in two years - I reckon you'll be out then - inspite of it all love you to both, from us two". again please look into it yourselves theres a lot going on there.

real love demo - Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats) If it don't feel right, don't do it. If it don't look right, look right through it. If it don't feel right, don't do it. Just call him on the phone.

don't let me down / i'll never let you down - PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing— JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

marriages 8 days apart - "Hoping to get married in France, John Lennon and Yoko Ono flew to Paris on [16/3/69]. The couple had decided to marry on 14 March 1969, two days after the wedding of Paul McCartney to Linda Eastman; whether it was in response to this event on some level is open to conjecture." They got married March 20.

"i fell for pauls looks" - supposed quote from harry nilsson but i can't find an actual source so alas i don't believe it: "In a late wee-hour-of-the-morning talk, he once told me: ‘I’m just like everybody else, Harry, I fell for Paul’s looks'"

call me back again - "The song was written by Paul McCartney in the spring of 1974 in California, while he was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel." note the time would put it around when paul met up with john and they did the jam session mentioned above. "Call Me Back Again’ was recorded on 3 February 1975 at Allen Toussaint’s Sea Saint Studios in New Orleans." aka it was recorded during the sessions that paul had invited john to join for and john very strongly considered. tl;dr it was an obvious message to john to call him lmao.

tier 5 -

jealous guy - Paul: "He wrote ‘I’m Just A Jealous Guy’ and he said that the song was about me."

I was feeling insecure / You might not love me anymore / I was shivering inside / I was shivering inside / I didn't mean to hurt you / I'm sorry that I made you cry / Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you / I'm just a jealous guy

"maybe that would have satisfied it" - Mid-June?, 1972: John talks to Sandra Shevey about having a partner who fulfills both creative and romantic aspirations, and the disorienting experience of working with Yoko for the first time as competitive equals in the recording studio on Some Time In New York City.

JOHN: It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

apple - idk what this is talking about in particular but apple corps was the company the beatles founded and it's a complicated mess lmao. if someone wants to tl;dr it better than that feel free...

john vs. martha - i think this is about the story that martha bit john while he was play fighting with paul but i can't find any corroboration for that so idrc but i'll instead share this martha-related quote from paul: Anyhow, I got Martha and she was a lovely little dog. I just adored her. One of the unlikely side effects was that John became very sympathetic towards me. When he came round and saw me playing with Martha, I could tell that he liked her. John was a very guarded person, which was partly where all his wit came from… Seeing me with Martha, with my guard down, all of a sudden he started warming to me. And so he let his guard down too.

new orleans - see above. some interesting quotes:

may pang: “I knew that if I got him down there, it would have started something. I knew that it was that close. I knew that he had already been itching for certain things… John was ready. He was just open for hanging out with Paul, at home—in New York, and L.A., but especially in New York. [Paul and Linda] would pop up and visit all the time. We’d go out to dinner around the corner from where we lived, out for drinks, we were hanging out with them.”

"[May] Pang told me the following story: Lennon was making plans to see Paul and Linda McCartney right before Ono pulled her string and brought him home to the Dakota in Manhattan. “Paul and Linda were going to New Orleans to record the Venus and Mars album,” May recalled. “And John found out they would be there. He made plans to surprise them down there. He was in a great mood and he really missed Paul.” Just as Lennon was making this plan, he was also trying to quit smoking. Enter Ono. “She told him she had a method for quitting and he should come over and she’d show him. I had a feeling this was a bad idea. She hadn’t seen him in a while, and I felt something was wrong. John told me not to worry, but I did.” Indeed, Pang was correct, since Lennon did not return to her. Pang can only surmise that Lennon shared his plans with Ono, who feared a reunion with the McCartneys would spur Lennon to leave her forever. Paul McCartney was, and is, Yoko Ono’s prime rival and arch enemy. Case in point: When Linda McCartney died in 1998, Paul didn’t invite Yoko to the memorial service in New York. He did invite May Pang, and she attended. “Linda was wonderful,” she said. At first when Pang told people about Lennon’s plans — after he’d left her — no one believed it. “But then something happened,” she said. “Derek Taylor, the Beatles’ publicist, showed me a postcard he’d gotten from John in England. It said, ‘Going to New Orleans to see Paul.’ And that was it. That was the proof.”

Art garfunkel: “Incredibly disarmingly, he said to me, ‘Artie, you worked with your Paul recently. I’m getting calls from New Orleans that my Paul wants to work with me and I’m thinking about it, and I don’t know. How did it go when you worked with Paul?’ I said, ‘John, remember that there was a musical blend that was a great kick. if you can return to the fun of that sound and the musical happenings with your old buddy, and ignore the strands of complication and history, what I found with my Paul is the harmony and the shound happenings are a full agenda and they’ll keep you busy and you’ll have fun.’ [Did he seem like he wanted to get back together with McCartney?] I thought he did.”

key west - "We were in Key West in 1964. We were due to fly into Jacksonville, in Florida, and do a concert there, but we’d been diverted because of a hurricane. We stayed there for a couple of days, not knowing what to do except, like, drink. I remember drinking way too much, and having one of those talking-to-the-toilet bowl evenings. It was during that night, when we’d all stayed up way too late, and we got so pissed that we ended up crying – about, you know, how wonderful we were, and how much we loved each other, even though we’d never said anything. It was a good one: you never say anything like that. Especially if you’re a Northern Man." other tellings here. referenced in here today: What about the night we cried? (What about the night we cried?) / Because there wasn't any reason left to keep it all inside?

dear friend - reconciliatory song paul wrote for john while they were fighting in public in '71 "Often I would think of John, and what a pity it was that we’d argued so publicly and so viciously at times. At the time of writing this song, in early 1971, he’d called the McCartney album ‘rubbish’ in Rolling Stone magazine. It was a really difficult time. I just felt sad about the breakdown in our friendship, and this song kind of came flowing out. ‘Dear friend, what’s the time?/Is this really the borderline?’ Are we splitting up? Is this ‘you go your way; I’ll go mine’?" "I was sort of answering him here, asking, ‘Does it need to be this hurtful?’ I think this is a good line: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ – meaning, ‘Why is this argument going on? Is it because you’re afraid of something? Are you afraid of the split-up? Are you afraid of my doing something without you? Are you afraid of the consequences of your actions?’ And the little rhyme, ‘Or is it true?’ Are all these hurtful allegations true? This song came out in that kind of mood. It could have been called ‘What the Fuck, Man?’ but I’m not sure we could have gotten away with that then." "I would imagine he heard it. I think he listened to my records when they came out, but he never responded directly to me. That was not his way. We were guys; it wasn’t like a boy and girl. In those days you didn’t release much emotion with each other." contains the lines Dear friend, throw the wine / I'm in love with a friend of mine <- make of that what you will

paul reconnecting john/yoko - In an October 2010 interview, Ono spoke about Lennon's "lost weekend" and her subsequent reconciliation with him. She credited McCartney with helping save her marriage to John. "I want the world to know that it was a very touching thing that [Paul] did for John."[275] While visiting Ono in March 1974, McCartney, on leaving, asked "[W]hat will make you come back to John?" McCartney subsequently passed her response to Lennon while visiting him in Los Angeles. "John often said he didn't understand why Paul did this for us, but he did."

PAUL: I was telling you about the marriage thing. When [John and Yoko] broke up, [Yoko] came through London and visited us, which was very nice – Linda and I had just got married a bit before, and we were living in this big old house in St. John’s Wood. And Yoko came by and we started talking, and obviously the important subject for us is, “What’s happened? You’ve broken up, then? You’re here, he’s there. What’s happened?” And she was very nice and confided in us [saying], “Yeah, we’re kind of broken up.” But she was being very strong about it, very – not feminist, but very strong, you know, a strong woman, rather than just submitting to it all. And she said, “No, he’s got to work his way back. If he’s to get back with me, I can’t go—” She couldn’t – which is good. I think she would have been mad to just have gone and prostrated herself at his feet, kind of thing. But she said, “No, he’s gonna have to work at it.”

And I said, “Well look, if I see him – what, are you still in love? Do you still love him?” She said, “Yeah.” I said, “Well, would you be – would you think it was an intrusion if I kind of said to him, ‘Look, man, she loves you and there’s a way to get back, and you can—’” [laughs] Sounds like Beatle songs. Sounds like those – “I send all my loving from me to you.” And I said this to Yoko. I said, “Would that be okay? Would you hate that? You know, we might see him around, and I’d like to be the mediator in this because the two of you have obviously got something pretty strong going.” And she said she didn’t mind. So that was that visit.

Then we went out to visit [John and Harry Nilsson in L.A.] and they were doing Pussy Cats, and it was weird kind of just meeting and everything. But I just said to John, who was in the house with Nilsson, Jesse [Ed Davis], Keith Moon, and a few other guys, and they were all… It was a pretty crazed house there, you know, you hear some of the stories that came out of that that house, and… it was pretty wild days. And I said to [John], “Come on. Come here. Come in the back room, I want to talk to you privately.”

So we went in the back room and I sat him down privately and I said, “Look, I feel a bit like a matchmaker here, but this girl of yours, she really still loves you. Do you love her?” [Like we’re] in the divorce court, you know, a divorce settlement. And he said, “But I don’t know what to do.” I said, “Well, I’ve talked to her,” and so on and so on. “She does still love you, but you’re going to have to work your little ass off, man. You have to get back to New York, you have to take a separate flat, you have to send her roses every fucking day, you have to work at it like a bitch! And you just might get her back.”

Which is sort of what he did. But you’ll never hear that story. You won’t hear that off them because… [pause] I don’t know. It gives me too much – I’m too [much] in the story, then. They don’t want me in the story. They’d prefer to think John – I mean, if you hear it from John’s point of view, it’ll just be that he spoke to Yoko on the phone and she said to him, “Come back,” and sort of worked it out.

john attacking paul's girlfriends - john was a total dick to most girls that were associated with paul lmao. "I remember I had a girlfriend called Celia. I must have been sixteen or seventeen, about the same age as her. She was the first art-college girl I’d ever been out with, a bit more sophisticated. And we went out one evening and for some reason John tagged along. I can’t remember why it was. I think he’d thought I was going to see him, I thought I’d cancelled it and he showed up at my house. But he was a mate, and he came on a date with this Celia girl, and at the end of the date she said, ‘Why did you bring that dreadful guy?’ And of course I said, ‘Well, he’s all right really.’ And I think, in many ways, I always found myself doing that. It was always. ‘Well I know he was rude it was funny, though, wasn’t it?"

George: One time Paul had a chick in bed and John came in and got a pair of scissors and cut all her clothes into pieces and then wrecked the wardrobe. He got like that occasionally; it was because of the pills and being up too long.

Also he was a dick to Peggy Lipton when she was with paul:

paul's phone call to hunter davies - “Not long after John’s death, I had some strange conversations with Paul. He seemed so upset by so many things, not least of which was John’s death. This was in May 1981, and I jotted down in a diary some of the things he told me.... very interesting and depressing read...i recommend reading the whole thing

"in bed" - Q magazine 1998:

paris - "John Lennon was given £100 ahead of his 21st birthday on 9 October 1961. He and Paul McCartney decided to travel to Spain for a holiday. In the end they went no further than Paris. [...] Lennon and McCartney also abandoned bookings which The Beatles had, which led the others to believe that the band may have split up. [...] Lennon and McCartney’s Parisian trip inspired the 1977 Wings song ‘Café On The Left Bank’." very romantic little trip. george was very mad because he needed the money they would've gotten from the canceled gigs. craziest underrated paul quote to me is: There is a very beautiful song called "The End Of The End", the way you talk about your whole ending, and the lyric goes: "It's a start of a journey to a much better place." You mean, better than England? Paul: It's basically a start of a journey to France. Or Spain through France. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a much better place, Paris. long post here about john and paul and paris throughout the years.

tier 6 -

i know (i know) - 1973 song by john. "The curious repetition of the title in parentheses could have been simply one of Lennon’s whims, but it is possible that he was presenting a coded message – not for the first time – to his former bandmate Paul McCartney. Wings’ 1971 album Wild Life had featured the song ‘Some People Never Know’, in which McCartney lamented that some people fail to understand what it means to love. In this light, Lennon’s response saw the pair in agreement, in a marked contrast to their earlier song-based conflicts." compare the opening riff to the opening riff of i've got a feeling. also note the lyrics Today, I love you more than yesterday, And I know it's getting better all the time

"i'd love to turn you on" - "As John and I looked at each other, a little flash went between our eyes, like ‘I’d love to turn you on’, a recognition of what we were doing, so I thought, Okay, we’ve got to have something amazing that will illustrate that."

new york '68 - john and paul went to nyc for a few days to promote apple. absolutely rancid vibes.

In May, John and I went to New York to announce that Apple was starting: ‘Send us your huddled talent.’ We wanted a grand launch, but I had a strange feeling and I was very nervous. I had a real personal paranoia. I don’t know if it was what I was smoking at the time, but it was very strange for me.

I remember sitting up there and being interviewed. John was wearing a bus driver’s or a prefect’s badge, and he was doing well. Linda was there taking photos, and afterwards I said, ‘Couldn’t you tell I was nervous?’ but she said it was fine. For some reason I just felt very uneasy about the whole thing; maybe it was because we were out of our depth. We were talking to media like Fortune magazine, and they were interviewing us as a serious economic force – which we weren’t. We hadn’t done the business planning; we were just goofing off and having a lot of fun.

john's stolen diaries - john lennon's diaries from 1975-1980 that have a storied history. "He wrote about everything, you know, what he ate, what he dreamed, what time he got up in the morning, when he went to the bathroom, what he watched on TV, when he had sex, how much money he was spending, his relationship with Yoko, his relationship with Sean, what he thought about everybody else, especially Paul, just on and on and on. […] On many days, it just seemed like a total stream of consciousness."

lunchroom tapes - bugged conversation during between john and paul and others during the let it filming. there's. a lot going on there have fun.

lsd trip - john accidentally took lsd and paul decided to take it too: "I thought, Maybe this is the moment where I should take a trip with him. It’s been coming for a long time. It’s often the best way, without thinking about it too much, just slip into it. John’s on it already, so I’ll sort of catch up. It was my first trip with John, or with any of the guys. We stayed up all night, sat around and hallucinated a lot.

Me and John, we’d known each other for a long time. Along with George and Ringo, we were best mates. And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot. And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away.

There’s something disturbing about it. You ask yourself, ‘How do you come back from it? How do you then lead a normal life after that?’ And the answer is, you don’t. After that you’ve got to get trepanned or you’ve got to meditate for the rest of your life. You’ve got to make a decision which way you’re going to go

I would walk out into the garden – ‘Oh no, I’ve got to go back in.’ It was very tiring, walking made me very tired, wasted me, always wasted me. But ‘I’ve got to do it, for my well-being.’ In the meantime John had been sitting around very enigmatically and I had a big vision of him as a king, the absolute Emperor of Eternity. It was a good trip. It was great but I wanted to go to bed after a while.

I’d just had enough after about four or five hours. John was quite amazed that it had struck me in that way. John said, ‘Go to bed? You won’t sleep!’ ‘I know that, I’ve still got to go to bed.’ I thought, now that’s enough fun and partying, now … It’s like with drink. That’s enough. That was a lot of fun, now I gotta go and sleep this off. But of course you don’t just sleep off an acid trip so I went to bed and hallucinated a lot in bed. I remember Mal coming up and checking that I was all right. ‘Yeah, I think so.’ I mean, I could feel every inch of the house, and John seemed like some sort of emperor in control of it all. It was quite strange. Of course he was just sitting there, very inscrutably."

now and then - beatles song that came out last november with a long history (long post but i recommend looking at the whole thing)

shared dreams - "The teenage Paul McCartney would love the idea of fame. That’s what he was trying to do, that was the dream. But it’s funny – life gives you minor premonitions. You don’t think of them as premonitions until the dream comes true and then you think, ‘Hey, I wonder if that was a sign.’ I remember when John and I were first hanging out together, I had a dream about digging in the garden with my hands. I’d dreamt that before but I’d never found anything other than an old tin can. But in this dream I found a gold coin. I kept digging and I found another. And another. The next day I told John about this amazing dream I’d had and he said, ‘That’s funny, I had the same dream.’ So both of us had this dream of finding this treasure. And I suppose you could say it came true. I remember years later talking about it – ‘Remember that dream we had?’; ‘Yeah, that was far out.’ So the message of that dream was: keep digging, lads."

JOHN: Hey! Did you dream about me last night?

PAUL: [long pause] I can’t remember.

JOHN: Very strong dream. We both dreamt about it. It was amazing! Different dreams, you know, but I thought you must’ve been there. [inaudible] I was touching you. [inaudible]

PAUL: Nothing to worry about, though?

JOHN: Nothing to worry about, no.

carl perkins - "The night before he left, a song came to Carl that summed up his warm feelings about the visit, and he couldn’t get it out of his mind. It was so strong that Carl didn’t even write it down, which he said was strange for him. He usually always wrote his songs down immediately.

In the morning, Carl Perkins sang the song, which he named My Old Friend, for Linda and Paul, saying it was his gift for having him as a guest. Half way through the song, after singing “if we never meet again this side of life, in a little while, over yonder, where there’s peace and quiet, my old friend, won’t you think about me every now and then?” tears streamed down Paul’s face and he stood up and stepped outside.

Not knowing what the matter was, Carl stopped, a bit shaken. Didn’t Paul like the song? Linda warmly put her arms around Carl, and thanked him. She said the song was getting Paul to finally connect with his grief over John Lennon’s death.

Linda explained that the last time Paul talked to John, he had said the same line to Paul: “think about me every now and then, my old friend.”

Carl and Linda were now convinced that the song had been channeled from John Lennon’s spirit, as a gift to Paul."

all my loving - Witnesses noted that the Beatles song "All My Loving" came over the hospital's sound system at the moment Lennon was pronounced dead.

tier 7 - what happened in india? who knows. here's a very long post with quotes about india. it does seem like things were. Different. after the beatles came back from india. a lot of people think Something happened there, like paul rejecting johns romantic advances in some way. i don't buy that even remotely personally. i think everybody spending too much time Thinking and no drugs made everybody go a little nutty. But then again, microphone blowjob

the tiers of insanity

#this is very very long and it took me very very long #feel free to just ctrl+f a certain topic instead of reading the whole thing i was trying to be Thorough.

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umbral-stigmata-unbound · 2 years ago

Note

Do you think that Seph will have a breakdown in the 7R trilogy when he is forced to realize that he really is a human and wouldn't be much different from Cloud if they changed places as a parallel to his breakdown in CC? I'd imagine this would only happen when Jenova takes the reigns back from him and straight tells the man, "Yeah homie, you just a puppet like Cloud. you're not special, I would've done same to any other human with my cells". or some sort. This is the only way I can see Seph BECOMING a good guy in the 7R timeline. I do not subscribe to the theory of him being THE good guy at this current point considering how he is relentlessly tormenting Cloud, killed Barret and trolling everyone else in Midgar to an lesser extent. Not to mention, as Aerith says, "selfishly challenging fate without concern of what could happen" What are your thoughts on Seph potentially back to the light? How do you think it will be done? I personally don't like my villains to be redeemed but in Seph's case, I can see how it can be well done if they give it enough time and respect for the character to make it happen.

Anon Asks | Always Open

Hi there! A lot of questions, haha, I'll do my best to answer them! But this is just my understanding, theories, as well as lack of information on FF7R right now.

1- Do you think that Seph will have a breakdown in the 7R trilogy when he is forced to realize that he really is a human and wouldn't be much different from Cloud if they changed places as a parallel to his breakdown in CC? To be honest? I don't really see him having a breakdown. I'm not sure, if Jenova is the one in control in this scenario if she would go so far as to psychologically attack her host, she'd be more likely to manipulate and come off as working with to keep him pliable. And that's if she's in control. I know I've read that there is more than one Sephiroth in Remake, but there are not exact, clear answers as to how many and which ones there are. So it is debatable that there are different ones, in different encounters in Remake and therefor motives are different. However, nature of Sephiroth aside, I don't really see him having another break down. It seems like his fate is either to be broken down, or defeated, unless he were to win (which duh, he likely won't). My only other theory (and this theory is one i hold with full awareness that it is 99.9 percent unlikely to happen and its more a fan idea), is that his motives may be selfish and and self serving but they are still to save the planet from a greater evil currently out of focus...and so he's looking to team up, at the very least, with Cloud, and change what bits of fate he can for a better hope of survival. But I don't see him coming back to any full acceptance of who he once was, canon Seph is too far gone IMO.

2- In reference to what Aerith said to him and about him before and during their battle at the end of Remake, as well as a side note on him being a good guy in Remake... I'll be honest, this is likely solely my opinion and my slightly off grasp of how things are working but...idk, what she says about Sephiroth seems like she's a little off the mark or, honestly, the writers are trying to be different and yet lazier from their original plot and story telling and sources of evil/cruelty/accountability from wrong doings. Because she speaks like he is the sole wrong in the world, everything about him is wrong. My In-Plot explination? Take from OG canon that she may have been disconnected from her abilities for a while and only recently started connecting to them fully, she could be sensing and reading things wrong. Yeah, sure, she's an Ancient and a lot of it is natural to her, but you can't tell my her instinct are infallible. OR, if she's been using them openly for some time, opposing OG canon, she is instead currently still confusing things. I think perhaps she's reading Jenova, the infection that she is, or something more that is connected to Sephiroth but not solely him and just assuming it is him alone. He is a villain, he is at this point in his existence self serving, I don't claim him to be a saint. But he is nowhere near the core evil. He was born from evil and selfishness and carelessness from all side and survived beyond that for only so long before too many things broke him. But he is not the sole evil and I don't like the story telling that. Now, as for him being a good guy in Remake? TBH, I seriously doubt it will happen. Good and Evil team up? Possible, but kind of unlikely; a part of me would love it, and a part of me also hates that this isn't a remaster like I really wanted. But, the only time he was ever 'good' was CC up until Nibelheim, and good is a loose term given all ShinRa had him do as a SOLDIER.

3- What are your thoughts on Seph potentially back to the light? How do you think it will be done? I personally don't like my villains to be redeemed but in Seph's case, I can see how it can be well done if they give it enough time and respect for the character to make it happen. My thoughts on Sephiroth returning to the light, as it were, are fond and self indulgent and are channels solely into fanfiction and roleplay. I do not see it happening in canon, ever, really. I'd be happy to be wrong but I seriously doubt it. How it could be done? There are a lot of ways, I think, but they would take time, consideration, and would likely involve altering one or two key points of Sephiroth's story just to make it work. Again, this is how fanworks are a better indulgent avenue of that possibility. I too prefer redemption to happen only when it fits the character and the story and as much as I adore Sephiroth and like to imagine how things would have went if, say, he'd found out his origins in a more stable environment, if he had been able to be there for Genesis and Angeal rather than run away from him and possibly brought him with...he's just not meant to be anything other than the tragedy he was written to be. And that is why he is my One-Winged Tragedy~

I hope I answered things well enough!! Thank you for your ask!

#ask meme #anon ask #ooc #ooc ask #ash talks #anon answered

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0risha · 4 years ago

Text

“BONES.”

✰ PAIRING ⤷ dabi x fem!reader

SUMMARY ⤷ It took him over a decade to muddle his brain with different memories to overshadow his past ones, not wanting for the abstained shadows of remembrance to embrace him.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you.

Dabi doesn’t trust himself.

He doesn’t trust the color of his mind to stay in the now state it’s in. If Touya Todoroki were to unwrap the gauze that clung to his very being, he’d fall apart. And he couldn’t have that. This unforgiving life of his had finally unfolded its palms and given him a gift and he’d stay sane for as long as he could to enjoy it.

✰ WC ⤷ 6.6k?

✰ TAGS ⤷ major angst, there is fluff though pinky promise, there’s a suggestive line, please don’t cancel me, it was detrimental to the story manga spoilers, a few curse words, character death, very, very soft dabi, shigaraki is an ass

NOTES ⤷ this is, indeed, the longest thing I've written that wasn't for school. and the summary is just a blurb because i had no idea what to write there. lol, I'm sitting at my laptop while crying my eyes out...... but uh.... I hope you like it ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

You smoke, Dabi takes that into account on the first day he sees you. Dabi hates cigarettes, despises them. He hates that itchy feeling his lungs get whenever he takes a drag, hates the way it makes him feel abyssal, co-dependent. And if there's one thing that Dabi hates, it's relying on something else that wasn't him self.

With that into consideration, he’s not entirely sure why you catch his eye, you’re not typically the type he goes for. He usually chose the dainty ones, the ones that were so eager to experience a jive of thrill, they don’t realize that they’ve encountered a person who played an important role in one of the most powerful villain organizations.

You're in the corner of a dingy bar, the dim lights somehow doing your angelic features justice. The light catches the glint of your name tag and the pastel blue of your scrubs. You look tired. Even from a far distance, he can see the sunken tent of your cheeks. The cigarette stick which hangs from in between your index finger and middle is halfway from becoming a stub. The plastic platter of pretzels that sit across from your chest is untouched as you grumble out replies to the bartender who's trying to make conversation with —a very uninterested— you.

When the clock hits eleven, your bar stool is scraping the ground as you attempt to leave. The relentless bartender grabs your arm with one last plea. His voice raising when you deny the idea that you should give him your number because you're too pretty to be by yourself. With one last pull, you stomp away towards the exit. Dabi doesn't know if it's because he's a villain too, but he follows after you. His senses telling him that there’s no way the bartender who you’d just rejected would let his wounded pride stay unbandaged.

He’s careful not to make any noises with the soles of his boots. The absence of street lights concealing his figure. Unbeknownst to him, his body enforces the skills he uses while stalking his next prey. His languid motions flowing with the same transverse as the cold, biting wind.

And you don’t notice a thing, your hands stuffed into the pockets of your thick silver jacket. But when your walking comes to a stop, Dabi’s heart nearly tumbles out from his chest. Not a second later, you pull out a pack of cigarettes and place one to your lips, lighting it in one go. When you resume walking, Dabi’s body internally holds a jubilee with jeers of relief. He’s not exactly sure why he’s helping you but what type of person would he be if he let a pretty lady like you get hurt?

At the thought, his throat tickles with the hope to let out a laugh.

When Dabi hears the crunch of leaves that bounce off the cracked concrete, for the second time that night he nearly breaks into a fit of laughter. The culprit’s first step is to trap you behind the fenced wall and his burly figure. What an amateur.

A part of Dabi wants to wait and see what you do. Are you a regular civilian? Do you have a strong quirk that would fight him off? His trail of thought evaporates when you hiccup out a laugh, smoke from the corner of your lips flowing into the man’s face. Dabi’s eyebrows quirking up with interest. What’s your next act?

After several hitches of breath, nothing comes and Dabi finally decides to step in as he feels the waves of anger emitting from the balding, middle-aged man who has you cornered.

The confrontation is brief —when the bartender turns to glance at an approaching lean, scarred figure, he scurries off without a word.

“Didn’t have to help me, I had it in the bag.” You squint at your savior as your cigarette bobs with the movement of your full lips. His stature towers over yours but you don’t seem the little bit phased.

“You weren’t scared,” he says and it’s more of a question than a statement. His cool voice sends a frosty layer through each stack of your vertebrae. Though, it slowly ebbs away as you study his features and realize how pretty he is —his eyes a pool of melted lapis. Sharp cheekbones molded to accustom to scars and silver staples that do nothing but add to your thinking connotation of him being ambiguity personified.

“Yeah, even if he did... you know.” You wave your hand. “He would’ve died sooner or later.” Dabi’s eyes narrow in confusion as he catches the way your eyelashes flutter prettily against your skin.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh.. uh- he had heart issues, the kind you can’t recover from.” You remove the lit stick from your lips and give him a full-toothed smile. “Thank you, Mr. Stranger.” And with that, you turn away and resume your lethargic walk down an empty alleyway.

Must be your quirk. Dabi thinks as he watches your figure disappear into the grasping shadows of the night. When he returns to the battered LOV hideout, he goes out of his way to avoid any interaction with the League. Refusing to taint his memory of your pretty smile and pretty face.

The next time Dabi sees you, you’re in the same place. This time you’re not wearing scrubs, opting for a more casual look with a baby blue top that contrasts nicely with your skin and jeans that accentuate your figure. You don't have a pack of cigarettes either.

Unlike before, you notice his stare and you bathe in it. The bartender from the other day all but glances at you. Amusingly, you turn to glance at the brooding figure in the corner of the bar with a knowing look.

After two beers and spinning courage, you walk towards Dabi with sway in your step. His eyes follow your movement until you decide to situate yourself next to him in the booth. His low lids focus on you as you fidget with your manicured fingers. Cute. He thinks. You’re too cute for your own good.

“What’s your name?” You break the silence. Teeth gnawing into the plush dent of your bottom lip.

Dabi takes his time to mull over his answer, he doesn’t notice the way his body temperature flares nor the tiny blue flames that threaten to dance on his scabbed knuckles. A grasp —an unfamiliar cloak, wraps its fabric around his shoulders. Prickles of his being push with urgency to ease it away but it’s all in vain.

“Touya.”

Touya, from the corner of his eye, watches your eyes light up with interest. Bright and wide with swirling specks of gaiety— joy. Which Dabi guesses are because of him. He turns his attention away from you, not wanting to get warped into your pretty eyes that sparkle just from hearing his name.

“S’ a pretty name,” you whisper. Sporting a subtle grin, one that blows wide when you see all four chambers of his heart pumping wildly with blood.

“Can you walk me home, Touya?”

It goes on like this, again and again —conversations with Touya at the back of the bar, sitting next to him in the grimy booth. His replies are quip ones but you know he’s listening to your idle chatter because you feel the way his eyes bore into your skull.

The night always comes to a close with both of you walking shoulder to shoulder, the plans of your upcoming day echoing off the bounds of the night sky. You live in an apartment building, a shitty one. He remembers you complaining about the squeaky floorboards, your loud neighbors, and the pervy, greasy-haired landlord that barges through your door at the most unreasonable times of the day. Touya raises his eyebrow at that.

“I’ll take care of him for you.” The words fly past his lips before he can stop them.

Your response is a peal of robust laughter that comes to a halt when you pull out a cigarette. “I’ll be sure to come to you,” you say. Today marked the thirtieth time you both engaged in subtle conversation. He takes note in the fact that you only smoke when you wear scrubs —the rope of curiosity gets the best of him.

“I have to keep up with the appearance of my two personalities, duh.” Touya has no clue what you mean but your clipped tone tells him that he shouldn't pry.

Meanwhile, your eyes flit to his sapphire ones than to his lips.

“Touya?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I kiss you?” You watch the way his eyes widen with a low giggle.

But before he can answer, your lips are already on his. He’s quick to take action as he cups the underside of your jaw, your breath minty even though you just had a smoke. His head’s a mess, there’s a jumble of terms that fail to come together and form coherent ones. The only thing his brain can commit is the pillowy softness of your lips. Sadly, he can’t enjoy the whole experience. His bottom lip erased with the tissue needed to feel, only leaving a purpled patch in its wake.

For a second, his chest tides over with a tinge of shame but it’s quickly washed away as you pull him even closer. Your small, gentle fingers carding through his soft, inky tresses.

The kiss ends when you pull away with a breathless sigh. You stay close to him, noses nearly touching as once shared breaths mingle. His hands are on your hips now, slowly kneading the soft flesh. A couple of seconds dart by as your dark eyes stare into his bright ones. The low-lighted area giving them a fascinating glow.

You want to tell him how pretty he looks at this moment. His flustered expression causing your gut to simmer with heat.

You need to tell him how nicely entrapped his presence always makes you feel but something in you decides against it, choosing to save it for another time. So you search for an alternative, breath growing unsteady as you stumble across one.

“Can you....walk me home, Touya?” This time it's different from the first night you asked him.

This time your voice trails off with a much different undertone.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

Touya wakes up before you do. Peeks of the sun squeeze through your bedroom blinds, casting a shining glow on your skin. As he studies your peaceful features, he encounters a divulgence. One that causes his skin to crawl with parasites that immediately beg him to keep up with this facade. To derive a little longer and enjoy this bliss at his own expense. However, Touya decides against it. It’s quite obvious that he’s not the safest person to be around, his appearance giving that thought away.

It might be better if he tells you first, he thinks.

It might be better if he lets a precious thing like you go before he builds a stockpile of lies that’ll eventually come crashing down when the realization finally hits.

“I’m a villain, you know,” he murmurs as he watches your eyelids flutter open. He grimaces as he tries to think of what your reaction may be. The first words you woke up to would have to be that you’d let a criminal into your home —into your bed.

He sits up to place his back on your cool headboard. The bell of anxiousness that sits at the pit of his stomach rings after a few beats of silence. You turn to stare at his upright figure with two arms tucked underneath your satin pillow. “I know, m’ not stupid, Touya.” You grumble, turning your head to return to sleep.

“What?” His eyebrows knit has his chest shutters with disbelief.

You ignore his bewilderment. “Since we’re confessing our deepest, darkest secrets can I tell you what could’ve been my villain origin story?” Touya stares at your face before bursting into laughter, one that nearly causes the staples around his jaw to unhinge. Though, this laughter is one of relief.

A part of him doesn’t believe it.

He doesn’t think he’s ever done a deed so right, so pure, that had earned him someone like you. The only thing his reeling mind can suffice is that he had killed a scum in some random, dirty alley that ended up being the lowest of the low. At the random thought, he laughs some more.

“What?” You can’t help but giggle, his laughter —which was a rare entity— made you giddy with joy. “I’m serious!” You pout, turning away from him to feign anger, your ears stay perked up as his smooth, rich laughter fills your bedroom with warmth.

“Okay, fine I won’t tell you.” His laughter trails off as he moves from the headboard to lie directly across from you.

“Alright, tell me.” His abnormal body heat causes you to shuffle closer until you rest your head on his chest.

When your story is done, he can’t help but stare at the ceiling in cerebrate silence.

At the age of fifteen, a program introduced by the hero association had recruited kids with abilities related to the medical field. Yours being an x-ray like quirk that allowed you to detect diseases, broken bones, and infections. Ones even normal x-ray’s couldn’t see. Forced to drop out of high school to take nursing classes and discard your latest stage of childhood life, you’d already become a registered nurse before the ripe age of nineteen. You worked in a special division, one where you only dealt with pro-heroes. You tell Touya about your worst encounter, one where you diagnosed a collection of broken ribs and the incapability to do hero work for several weeks and got shoved so hard that your ankle had twisted. Fortunately, the program had been discarded when you were twenty. With your inability to do other things that weren’t related to nursing you decided to stay one.

“Where were your parents?” It takes you a second to answer, chest deflating in the worst kind of way as you remember your father and mother’s shame-ridden faces staring back at your own —your's ridden with disbelief.

“They got money, so it didn’t really matter what happened to me.” You whisper, using the soft pad of your index finger to trace his scarred skin.

“Wanted to be a writer, Touya.” You try your best to hold in your cries but to no avail. “Wanted to write a best-seller,” You laugh, but it’s overshadowed by the watery sob that follows.

And with that, he finally understands. You’re two personas, a writer and a nurse. His chest tides up with pride once he realizes that he’s probably the first person to see and understand what they both mean to you.

“You can still be one,” he says. But it’s a promise of his own in disguise. I’ll change the world for you, make it so you can do anything you want to. It echoes from his every syllable and trails off with a familiar lilt.

And you see it too —hope-filled eyes flit to glittering ones. His, a bright pair of blue gems that shine with raw, unfiltered passion- yet to be completely polished. Against your will, every tendril of your being untwines and wraps itself around his words- you believe him. Unconsciously, your lips blow into a wide smile. “I’ll hold you to it, Touya.”

The stagnant air diffuses once you ask him a question, “when’s your birthday?”

Internally, you kick yourself in the shin as Touya shoots you a whimsical look. You’re not sure why this is the first personal question you decide to ask him.

But to you, Touya’s painted in grey, moral wise. You’ve only known him for less than a month, his background revealed the same night you met him. When you were with Touya, he didn’t seem like a villain. Villains were supposed to be vile, viscous people that didn’t dissolve properly into the troughs of today’s society.

His touch was gentle, handling you with nothing other than care. But you’re sure he’s used those same nimble fingers to inflict pain on whomsoever he chose. To you, Touya’s a jigsaw. You’re prepared —at least you think you are— to solve it. Prepared to start with the small pieces. And when those gradually come together, you’d use them as a guide. Treading carefully to work from known to unknown.

However, Touya prays to the gods that you don’t use your quirk to see the way his heart pumps wildly and the way his breath hitches. It took him over a decade to muddle his brain with different memories to overshadow his past ones not wanting for the abstained shadows of remembrance to embrace him. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you.

Dabi doesn’t trust himself.

“December 15th.” Your eyes widen when you realize the day was when you both had met. “I was your birthday gift then, huh.” You giggle, pressing closer to his body to feel the erratic thump of his heart.

“Guess so.” A good lie is always better than the truth.

That’s what he tells himself when Tomura asks where he’s been for the past couple of months. Vehement, crimson eyes digging into Dabi’s skull. He scoffs in annoyance, opting to tell the blue-haired man that he’d been out of town to scout for new members. Rummaging through underground areas where the average of villains was the thickest.

And yes, they’re all lies. He’s happy that Tomura is as dumb as he looks. Though it may be because Dabi has mastered the art of weaving intricate webs of lies- he’s grateful, nonetheless.

When Dabi turns away from him, Tomura’s eyes narrow.

Shigaraki Tomura isn’t as dumb as he looks. But Dabi didn’t know that -at least, not yet.

Here in the LOV hideout, where Dabi’s just a ruthless flame kindler, he finds no self-content, only impatience. Sometimes, taking part in Toga’s antics as a source of entertainment, her bloodlust too damn thick to ignore.

Impatience, a contagious drug that filters through Dabi’s veins and causes his blood to sear whenever he thinks about the overturn he wants hero society to so badly face. It’s the only way this ache of his can be soothed.

At first, it was just for him to bask in -for him to enjoy. For him to see a part of his past, burn. To see a rage of flames that -in time, turned to a cinder, his memories with it.

But now, he wants you to see it too. He wants to keep you tucked by his side as everything unfolds. Knowing this, he waits. Dabi’s not naive, this dream of his isn’t a one-man act.

Though, the biggest step closer to glory comes earlier than expected…

He’s a hero, the number two pro hero in all of Japan. His speed and the aid of his wings being his strongest suit. The information he provides is what still causes the Leauge to thrive. And the reason that Shigaraki now knows of the Meta Liberation Army. A powerful villain organization that rivaled Tomura’s very own. Led by a man named Destro, a name that every villain’s supposed to know. Kuriogi tells him this in his usual monotone voice, he’s the founder and now his son currently leads the army. The thing is, Dabi does know but for other reasons. His father was a hero after all.

Shigaraki orders Dabi to keep watch over Hawks. Sure, Dabi has his suspicions too, but he couldn’t differentiate if it’s the hostility he feels after he learns Hawks’ friendly relationship with Endeavor or for the fact that several missions had been deemed as errors because of the red-winged man’s mistakes.

Though, his stress dissipates when he comes home to you. It didn’t take a lot of time for Touya to get accustomed to your apartment. He’s used to living in shitty places, the League had been -and still is- living in one for months.

Fortunately, your landlord never comes around. You think it’s because of Touya’s intimidating presence but it stretches farther than that. Farther into the territory of what makes Touya into the fearful villain he is. But, you didn’t have to know that. Touya deliberates. You were stressed enough as it is.

Sometimes you’re not even home, late shift reminders overtaking your flimsy calendar. On those days, when you return, you’re so tired that Touya has to undress and bathe you himself. It’s never a toll, he enjoys listening to your barely decipherable recaps of your day, ones that sometimes turn into angry speeches of frustration that he’s sure to soothe with soft kisses to your pursed lips.

“Touya,” you whisper. Head in the crook of his neck while he lathers your body with body wash. Your head’s cloudy, exhaustion taking its home in your body.

“Mhmm.”

“Love you, like.. a lot.” The words bleed together with little to no pauses. It’s so slurred that Touya has to mull over it.

When he finally separates them in his head, he pauses. Eyes going wide as the grip on the pink loofah loosens.

Those words had never been emitted between you two. They were the three forbidden syllables that hung still, frozen in mid-air. It should’ve been easy to say. So easy to confess if push ever came to shove and the tides of adoration ever became too much to bear.

Despite that - in Touya’s head, his sole belief was that he was a package of damaged goods. What solace could you find if he ever told you that he loved you? Would it bring you happiness- fear?

Months had passed between the two of you, the light of winter and spring passing with intertwined hands. But what if- what if- you didn’t love Touya as much as he thought? What if you stayed by his side because you took pity on him? Took pity on a man who had no efficiency, no worth, no value, and used it to your heart’s content to mend yourself together.

Unbeknownst to him, those thoughts had run aimlessly across your mind as well. Both of you were damaged goods. Both of you unfamiliar with the thrum of the common melody.

When you feel his movements halt, a part of you feels victorious.

Oh, how lucky you were for being high on delirium. This was a chance pulled out of luck’s pocket.

“Don’t gotta say it, I see it.” He lowers his gaze to see you staring intensely at his chest. Which no doubt encases an organ that beats wildly because of your words. For the first time in a long time, he grows embarrassed. A streak of red blossoms from under his scarred cheeks as he chooses to hide his head in your neck, inhaling the strong citrusy scent of your body wash.

Hesitantly, you brush your fingers across the expanse of his back. Careful to avoid rough skin. Hoping that with your touch, you can convey a message of understanding.

I love you Touya and I know you love me.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

On a week that you’re finally off from work, you choose to spend it with Touya. He‘s barely out anyways. When you ask him why he’s never out doing villainy things. He answers with, “to spend time with you, princess.” A chortle at the end of his sentence when he sees you duck your head in embarrassment.

“Wanna go dress shopping with me tomorrow?” You ask, taking a handful of potato chips in your palm, focus still on your tv show -which Touya believes is the most boring thing he’s ever come across.

He turns to glance at you, eyebrows knitted as he contemplates.

He knows he shouldn’t, situations where his identity might be discovered, wouldn’t be good for the both of you.

And if Tomura were to find out…. the possibilities were too endless and Touya would keel over before he put your life in jeopardy.

But he still says yes- he’s never actually seen you wear a dress, he tells you. A subtle smile adorning his lips when he sees yours. He doesn’t ask why you want to buy a dress all of a sudden but he doesn’t mind.

The next day, you dress him up in a big burly coat that you had found at a thrift store years ago. Touya scrunches up his nose in disdain as you pull it up to cover his purple-hued scars, the fabric smelling oddly like sulfur. If it weren’t for the way you seemed so focused on hiding his identity he would’ve discarded the clothing a long time ago. He thinks the last straw is when you plop a pair of dark sunglasses on his nose.

“Don’t look at me like that!” you fuss. “I tried my best.”

“Was your best option really a combination of coat and sunglasses?” He exasperates, voice coming out muffled.

“What... I can’t hear you?” You cup the back of your ear, feigning curiosity.

He rolls his eyes at your comment. “Whatever, let’s go.”

You grab your silver coat from your rack and walk outside, both of you making it to your beat-down Honda. As Touya shuffles in the passenger seat you can’t help but giggle at his uncomfortable posture, they turn louder when he turns to glare at you but fails miserably, his intimidating face shrouded by the coat and glasses.

When you enter the boutique a small ding of a bell hits your ear. You smile in victory once you realize the vacancy. A short lady with gray hair waddles towards you and Touya. “Well, hello there!” She exclaims her soft voice matching with the appearance of her shop. Sweet and adorable. “What are you two looking for today.” She walks closer to you two, her motherly aura shrouding you in contentment.

“Well… I’m not entirely too sure,” you say, clasping your hands behind your back. “But something blue and flowy.” You hum.

“Blue and flowy, you say?” She turns. “Follow me.”

You turn to glance at Touya, whose attention is already on you. You grab his hand and follow behind. She leads you to a wide room, the smell of laundry detergent filtering through the air. Your eyes widen once you see the rows of dresses adorned in plastic.

“These are all my babies.” She waves and turns to you with an expectant look, eyes crinkling as she gives you a warm smile.

“They’re real pretty, aren't they?” You nod. “Well, the dressing rooms are back there.” She points to the far right. “If you need anything just come to me, I’ll be at the front desk.”

You walk towards the small corridor of dressing rooms and pick the first one you see. Pushing Touya into the stall, you place your hands on your hip after clicking the door shut. He takes his sunglasses off and shoots you a quizzical look.

“Show me your flames,” you breathe out, palms growing clammy as nervousness starts to set in.

You wring your hands as you watch his adam's apple bob, his stare turning hard. “No.”

You cross your arms and plead. “Please Touya, I wanna find a dress that matches your flames. They’re probably really pretty… don’t know why you won’t show me.” Your voice trails off.

He had an idea that this would happen sooner or later. There were times where you did see his flames but those were accidents. He always made sure to quickly extinguish them when he caught your peering eyes.

His chest floods with guilt once he sees your disappointed expression. He didn’t think his flames were pretty. He’d melted too many flays of flesh to count. The last thing he wanted to do was show you the bright-tinged spirit responsible for his grave sins.

But one dilemma Touya has is that he can’t ever seem to jump over the weak spot he has for you. So, he gives a meek - fine.

He watches your features light up with glee, only hoping that you wouldn’t regret asking him for this. “Can I take the coat off, first?” You hum, scrambling to do it for him. Revealing his plain white tee and his dark black jeans.

“Step back for me,” he whispers, gnawing at the bottom of his scarred lip. He opens the palm of his hand- to first, show a tiny blue flame that sways languidly. Progressively, he increases the flame until it engulfs his hand and upper wrist. When he looks up from his palm to your face, he’s surprised to see that your eyes aren't menacingly calculating or searching for release from fear. Instead, you look on in astonishment.

He sees the reflection of his flames in your eyes and from that circled mirror, a tiny nibble of his conscience starts to ebb with pride of his quirk.

After gushing about how pretty his flames look, you commit the color to memory. Dashing out of the stall to search for a dress, humming a tune when you envision his reaction to seeing you in such a nice, quaint dress on such a special day.

He perks up once you unlock the door, expecting you to change and show him what you’ve found. But instead, he’s met with your smiling face and what seems to be a dress -shrouded in a velvet coverup. “Don’t look so disappointed.” You wag your finger in front of his face. “You’ll see it soon.”

When December rolls by with chilly air as company, you start to see Touya less and less. He never does tell you what exactly it is he does while out doing villain work. Though, he did tell you that his absences would occur more and more since he and his league were working hard to take down a villain organization.

Your eyebrows had furrowed at that. “I thought villains were supposed to band together,” you asked, head resting on his thigh as you stared up at his face. “Not ones with different philosophies,” he had said, hand suspiciously inching closer and closer to your chest. You hummed, still confused.

It might sound naive, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Hero society didn’t interest you. You couldn’t say villains did either but Touya was one. One of the bigshots.

Once, when you’d seen him on the little tv in the corner of your break room, it took a lot in you to not crack a smile. Though the idea of bringing chaos into the world with wide arms made your nerves rack with trepidation, you had Touya, and that seemed like enough.

Fortunately, Touya not being home was a benefit to your plan. You’d already scheduled your days off for work and booked the reservations for the fancy restaurant that was at least an hour’s drive from your apartment building. It was hard work, but for Touya’s birthday, it was all worth it.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

Shigaraki Tomura does not like to be lied to.

If he had written commandments for the people he came across, that would be his first line, golden engraved. It’s an unexplainable feeling he gets. If he could, he’d describe it as an itchy, hot coil that warps across his skin. It’s not painful, it’s simply annoying. And he feels it nearly every day. The scars that mar his neck being a result of it.

Why does the world have to be riddled with so many liars?

Dabi’s a liar, he knows that much. Hawks, that red-winged hero may be one too, but he’d deal with that when things finally came into play.

Now, he focuses on the man Dabi truly is. Villains lie. Shigaraki knows this, he’s a villain too. But- he tells the truth when it comes to his goals.

He tells the truth with what he wants.

What he wants LOV to bring.

What he wants society to flood with.

So why couldn’t Touya Todoroki do the same?

Shigaraki Tomura’s smart and Dabi is a fool to not see this. Who came up with the plans? The missions? The very concept of LOV? Sure, AFO had shaped him into who he was today but he was the same man locked in Tartarus, not Tomura.

When Tomura finds the roots of Dabi’s lies through Kurogiri’s peering eyes. It takes an hour of pleading for the ghastly man to convince Tomura not to find Dabi and disintegrate him into a fine pile of dust.

“Why should I!” Tomura shouts, his ruby eyes glaring into Kurogiri’s yellow ones. “He lied to me.” Shigaraki spits out the word so hastily and it’s as if saying the word itself was a sin of its own. Kurogiri nods, silently transmitting his words of understanding, not wanting to raise his temper even higher.

“But Dabi’s an important member of the League, Tomura.” Kurogiri coaxes. “In a week or so, we’ll be off to fight with M.L.A. If anything give him a warning, a threat. Just don’t kill the boy.” Shigaraki takes a second to glare at Kurogiri but eventually, his shoulders sag with defeat.

Even though Dabi had committed the gravest sin, he’d show mercy.

Begrudgingly, he grabs the cup of orange juice from Kurogiri’s hand, his thoughts flying at a fast pace, anger refusing to subside. All until his thinking cogs get stuck on one idea, one thought.

The thought crawls out from his mind and paints his expression with one of sickening glee. His smile so wide, that rivulets of blood dribble down from his cracked lips. His tongue darts out to lap up the tangy liquid as he gets high on this idea, on this revelation.

Shigaraki Tomura needs Dabi but Shigaraki Tomura does not need you.

Tomura knows everything about you, your background, your parents, the countless homes you had to reside in, where you live as of now- where you and Dabi live as of now. Where you work and what exactly you’re planning to do on the 15th day of December. It’s terrifyingly easy to uncover reservation logs.

You’re a pretty woman, Tomura could admit that. But you were a stain in his perfect, webbed canvas of the future. Those countless months where he had expected Dabi to be his righteous subordinate and listen to his demands were spent with you. Cooped up at your run-down apartment doing god knows what.

Tomura’s teeth grit as he digs into the flesh of his neck, specks of blood underneath his fingernails while he fervently scratches the already scabbed skin. Kurogiri glances over at him, seemingly reading his mind.

“I’m leaving.” Shigaraki swipes up from his dusty seat. Oh, how he missed the elegance of his LOV’s old hideout.

“Don’t forget AFO’s orders concerning Gigantomachia.”

Tomura blinks once, twice. “That thing has way too much HP.” He breathes out.

“For now, I need to do something else.” He whispers, bringing his embalmed hand to rest on his face.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

Whenever Touya thought of coincidences he thought of the word luck. It was a coincidence that Touya had been at the same bar as you, a coincidence that because of your lack of care for hero society that you’d glossed over the fact that he was a villain. But as Touya stood in your empty apartment, bloody and bruised from his prior fight, his connotation of coincidences slowly turned sour. A bitter taste sat on his tastebuds as he read over your note.

Happy Birthday Touya, my love.

meet me at the Burqoues Restaurant!

Take an uber…. I don’t have any money for one

(using it on the restaurant money)

so I’ll just take my car.

p.s. you’ll get to see my dress.

It was a coincidence that the day he told you was his birthday was the very day the League of Villians had merged with the Meta Liberation Army. Touya didn’t know what this grappling hook of fear was, but as he saw that your Honda was still idly parked in that weird angle you always had a habit of doing -it came to take its hold around his neck.

Maybe you’d actually found a couple of bucks and took an uber instead. Right?

You were probably in the restaurant, ordering that expensive champagne you really wanted to try. Ready to show that pretty, wide smile you always gave Touya when you saw him.

Right?

Touya couldn’t think- couldn’t breathe as he sped down the street. His grip on the wheel was so tight that his staples were close to popping. The loud ringing in his ears drowned out the persistent honking of cars that he nearly collided with.

What should’ve taken an hour took a measly twenty minutes. Without a second thought, Touya was already out of the car.

Upon entering, he received perturbed glances. He didn’t blame them, his clothes were bloodied, several staples unhinged from the skin.

“S-sir?” a tiny voice squeaked. He glanced at the receptionist desk, the bright chandeliers illuminating her meek stare that looked borderline terrified. He probably looked like a villain.

“D-do you have a reservation.”

“Yes.” He answered gruffly, head craning to see if he could catch sight of you.

“Your name please.”

“Touya.” He gritted, eyes focusing back on the receptionist who didn’t seem to believe him. She ducked her head to check, eyes scanning frantically.

“Oh, yes!” She smiled, it was too wide to be real but, frankly, Touya didn’t care. All he needed to know was that you were here.

“Table 15.” She pointed. “You won’t miss it.”

Touya didn’t bother to reply, legs already scrambling towards what he hoped would be you. Ignoring the stares that followed behind him.

Table 12

Table 13

Table 14

Table 15-

Touya's heart nearly stops, vision tinging with black as his knees nearly crumble beneath him.

You weren’t there.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

When Touya returned to the now, Paranormal Liberation Army hideout, Shigaraki had given him a smile so sweet that it had caused Touya's blood to run cold.

However, Touya did not pry, choosing to ignore the guilty glances the rest of the league sent his way. And he hated himself for it, hated the coward he'd grown to be in such a short period of time.

Later on that night, he returned to your desolate apartment, choosing to take a cigarette from your half- empty pack.

Yes, Touya despised cigarettes but at that moment they'd never tasted so sweet. His lungs didn't itch, he didn't feel abyssal. He just felt— soothed. As he took several drags, Touya silently pleaded for the nicotine to somehow make every fiber of his being believe that you had decided to finally leave.

That you had finally realized that a villain like him was no good and would only put your life at risk.

However, his façade had cracked when he'd found multiple files on your desolate laptop, drafts of your story in the making. The first page dedicated to your love for giving you the motivation to publish your first ever book.

And at that moment, for the first time in his godforsaken life, Touya wished he could cry. To show you, somehow that he was grateful for everything you had given him. That he was thankful and sorry for letting his mirror that reflected thousands of moments with you -your arms cradling him, him cradling you- shatter into fractured pieces.

As Touya Todoroki sat on a velvet sofa, arms wide and camera ready, a piece of his brain fabricated the image of you next to him --adorned in a sapphire blue dress, showing him that pretty, pretty smile that he’d grown to love, he told you —and told the world the story he never had the chance to.

To simply, atone.

#dabi x reader #dabi angst #dabi fluff #mha x reader #mha fluff #mha angst

140 notes · View notes

petersasteria · 4 years ago

Note

Let's try this again...HAHA

Moana (2016) You're Welcome; Peter Parker

Did i get it right? HAHA

Aight. Try again HAHAHA and yes, u got it right xx

You’re Welcome - Peter Parker

This is a little blurb that can potentially be the part 2 of my one shot. So, read it first before reading this or y’all won’t get it x

"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞"

After that unexpected encounter with Peter, you really didn’t hope for anything to happen. But of course, Peter Benjamin Parker was full of surprises. He texted you as soon as he got home and both of you started talking again. You still kept your distance, though. You didn’t want to be attached.

Aidan absolutely loved Peter. Peter was his everything. Aidan never really had a male role model in his life, so Peter was a breath of fresh air. Peter would come and visit sometimes and Aidan would always grab his attention. Peter didn’t mind, though. He loved Aidan.

You recently got asked out by one of your co-workers and you needed someone to watch Aidan. Peter stepped up and volunteered to do it.

“There’s still pizza in the fridge, so just heat that up in case he wants a snack.” You told Peter.

“Got it.”

“Oh and if you’re going to give him fruits, he’s allergic to watermelons. He also has a way of persuading and if he tries to persuade you into eating ice cream first before dinner, DON’T GIVE IN.” You warned. “He’s cute and all and I love him with all my heart, but I swear that kid has powers of persuasion.” You sighed and walked to the living room to grab your purse.

Powers.

Peter looked at you as you walked away. As soon as you mentioned powers, he couldn’t help but think about the future that could’ve happened if he didn’t break up with you. Would your kids have powers too?

“I have to go now.” You announced. “Aidan, be good to uncle Peter and listen to him, alright?”

“Yes, mommy!” Aidan smiled and hugged your legs. You smiled at him and kissed the top of his head. You ruffled his hair and he ran back to the couch to continue watching his cartoons.

“Bye, Peter. Thank you so much for doing this. I owe you.” You smiled.

“It’s no problem.” Peter smiled. “Enjoy your date.”

‘Actually, I hope you don’t enjoy your date. I hope it goes horribly wrong and then you’ll realize that you and I are meant to be. Then, we’ll kiss and make up and be together again.’ Peter thought.

“Bye!” You called out and left.

Peter closed the door and sat beside Aidan. “You love my mommy, don’t you?” Aidan asked quietly.

“What? What do you mean?” Peter questioned. There’s no way a 5 year old could figure that out.

“Because you have the same look that Ariel has when she looks at Prince Eric. Ariel loves the prince, by the way.” Aidan explained as he pointed at the tv screen which was playing ‘The Little Mermaid’. Peter didn’t say anything. He just chuckled and continued to enjoy the night with Aidan.

✧

You got home at around 10 PM and Aidan was already asleep in his room. Peter was wide awake on the couch while watching ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7′.

“Hey.” You said softly as you sat down next to him. Peter glanced at you and smiled, “Hey. I hope you don’t mind me watching on your Netflix account.”

“It’s alright.” You chuckled lightly. “Is it good?”

“It’s amazing.” Peter said. “How was your date?”

“It was alright.” You shrugged off.

Peter has known you for years and despite not seeing each other for a long time, he could still read you like a book.

“I can tell that you’re not into him. What happened? What’s wrong?” Peter asked sweetly.

You looked at him and sighed, “He’s so self-centered. Then when I told him that I had Aidan when I was in college, he gave me a disappointed look. I don’t regret having Aidan at all, Pete. I really don’t and it offends me when people give me that- that look of disappointment!” You rambled.

Peter was mad. How dare that guy!

“You were too good for him anyway. Besides, you don’t need another guy in your life. You have Aidan!” Peter smiled.

‘And me.’ He thought.

“Yeah and now I have you too.” You smiled. “Thanks for looking after Aidan.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Anything for you, sweetie.” Peter grinned. You sighed happily and rested your head on his shoulder.

Peter didn’t know where he stood with you, but he was contented with this. He knew it would take some time for you to love him again like you used to, but Peter will gladly wait for you.

* * * *

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @harryismysunflower @buckys-little-hoe @heeeyitskay @slytherin-chaser @quaksonhehe @yaya4302 @lil-mellow-bunbun @starlight-starks @swiftmind @alexx-stancati @sovereignparker @nerdyandproudofitsstuff @pearce14 @xfirstfemale-marauderx @cherthegoddess @chewymoustachio @cocoamoonmalfoy @parkerlovebot @supred12 @peterspidey

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr @allyz @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @drie-the-derp @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen @call-me-baby-gir1 @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @geminiparkers @holland-styles @halfblood-princess-505 @spidey-reids-2003 @whatthefuckimbisexual @justanothermarvelmaniac @unsaidholland @musicalkeys @lost-in-the-stars03 @hufflepuffprincess24 @hollanddolanfangirl @parkerpeter24 @bellelittleoff @agentnataliahofferson @aqiise @lexirv

#peter parker #peter parker blurbs #peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh #k's disney animated requests

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feyrfiend · 7 months ago

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Yeah, I totally agree with what you're saying here regarding how jinx monsters in general work, they are monsters of opportunity, whispering self-fulfilling prophecies in your ear. It does "create" these situations of misfortune, but as your quoted section says, if you don't listen or believe in them, then they won't happen.

Unfortunately for Shi Qingxuan and Shi Wudu, the reverend of empty words they encountered was significantly stronger than the one that Xie Lian encountered, which was merely a "venerable" of empty words. That's what I was referring to when I called it "significantly weaker," I was comparing the two creatures. Yes, as you said, there were people that managed to defeat the reverend in the end, and ultimately survived, but it still tortured them all their lives, "providing it significant portions of food." So even if it didn't drive them to take their life and they "won," it still tortured them until they died:

In one of the screenshots I sent in my previous message, Xie Lian also admits that the one they're facing is a lot stronger than the one he had faced. But Xie Lian was also in a uniquely bad situation as a banished god with cursed shackles, and that's why he didn't have a heavenly halo of protection and he was able to be targeted by a jinx monster at all.

In his own account of his encounter with his venerable, he talks about how everything it said to him practically sounded like well wishes considering the state of his life. But the thing is that it actually did cause bad things to happen to him, it just wasn't creative enough to make them even worse than his actual life, so nothing happened and it eventually had no choice but to give up. And being a regular venerable of empty words, and not one as strong as the reverend that targeted Shi Qingxuan, it had to wait for joyous occasions instead of being able to strike whenever it wanted. That's why he was able to defeat it so easily:

But I do have to disagree on that interpretation of Mei Nianqing's quote there as well, from the way it's phrased, it sounds like Shi Wudu was unafraid of anything because "his fate was so tyrannical," i.e. he knew he was untouchable because of his heavenly halo of protection, so what does he have to fear? Regardless, it tried to target Shi Wudu, and was unable to bite him, and so decided to bite Shi Qingxuan instead.

Additionally, Mei Nianqing says the reverend was satisfied because it did get to bite someone who should have ascended, which is someone who should have originally been off limits. But this is also kind of unclear, because the way Xie Lian interprets the situation during the black water arc is actually quite different. He says that the reverend wasn't satisfied and was unable to get what it ultimately wanted because He Xuan died of exhaustion instead of suicide due to fear. So it's hard to know which of them actually have the real story.

It's interesting, because both Mei Nianqing and Xie Lian use the phrasing "broke its teeth," Mei Nianqing when referring to targeting Shi Wudu and Xie Lian when referring to targeting He Xuan. So from this section, it sounds like the reverend can still torture you and cause horrible things to happen to you even if you don't feed it with fear:

So it would've been impossible for Shi Qingxuan to be able to defeat such a creature. After all, if we believe Xie Lian's interpretation of the creature, even if you don't feed it any fear, it can still torture you, since that's what it did to He Xuan. It sounds like He Xuan is one of those people who "won" against the reverend, because he died of exhaustion and he didn't kill himself. But ultimately that distinction never saved He Xuan or his family.

And if we believe Mei Nianqing's interpretation, it chose not to attack Shi Wudu because it knew it wouldn't get any satisfaction from biting someone like him, who is fated to ascend. However, in his interpretation the reverend was satisfied with what it got.

Since the two of them have contradicting interpretations, it's hard to come to a conclusion on this since we don't really know who is more accurate.

Personally I'm inclined to believe Xie Lian, just because Mei Nianqing is quite biased when it comes to all things Jun Wu, but that's just my opinion on the situation. But either way, I don't think Shi Wudu was motivated by a lack of confidence in Shi Qingxuan's abilities, but rather by a very real fear that this monster is causing genuine mental torture to his little brother and will eventually lead him to take his own life:

It is interesting to interpret how the creature actually works, because a lot of the information we have on it is somewhat contradictory, but Shi Wudu's motivation is pretty clear; even if Shi Qingxuan was capable of fighting the reverend like those "winners," of course Shi Wudu wouldn't be okay with an outcome that caused Shi Qingxuan to be tortured for the rest of his life.

You seem to know canon quite well for the various MXTX works.

Shi Qingxuan would have been fine as a middle court official, right? At least, as long as he stayed in the heavens? I thought the Reverend of Empty Words couldn't actually reach the heavens (at least not until after He Xuan consumed it) but seeing other people talking about the situation makes me less sure.

My impression was Shi Wudu sacrificed the lives of He Xuan and his family for Shi Qingxuan's freedom, not for Shi Qingxuan's life.

It seemed to be yet another "my own convenience, or that of my family member, is more important then the lives of the common folks" type situation, same as with Pei Xiu sacrificing people to Banyue soldiers via avatar, instead of dealing with the reputation loss and killing them as himself.

I actually had a similar thought once upon a time here, but there was also a longer convo I had with a few other people that seems to have been disappeared by tumblr (because of course it has 🙄). I can vaguely remember someone telling me that Shi Qingxuan being in the middle court actually didn’t offer him full immunity from the Reverend of Empty Words based on an interview, if I remember correctly, but I do not remember this being in the text.

It’s definitely still a situation of “I am willing to sacrifice the lives of countless strangers for the comfort and safety of my own loved ones, because I value my loved ones more,” but there may have been more stake to it.

#shi wudu #shi qingxuan #he xuan #black water arc #meta #i love interpreting black water arc #i think that shi wudu not believing in shi qingxuan isn't the right motivation for his choice #Shi Wudu was motivated by fear for what would happen to his brother who was the only family he had left #so in a way the reverend did get to hurt him using his one and only weakness: Shi Qingxuan #and a creature like the reverend is only really possible to defeat if you seclude yourself in a soundproof room #and wear a blindfold for the rest of your life #unless you have a uniquely awful life like xie lian did #or you just have the ability to somehow not care at all when you hear its prophecies #but it sounds like even the so-called “winners” kept it fed #even if they didn't give it the ultimate treat of their despair suicide

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lavenderek · 4 years ago

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So you're saying you don't think "underage" fic is gross. Is that what youre saying?

well, no. yuck. what i’m saying is, what exactly and specifically do we want to happen?

there should not be explicit fic about underage characters, got it. so what age can they not be under? 18? 16? what country’s laws regarding the age of consent do we prioritize? like, i think it’s gross that the age of consent is 16 in some places, but i’m an american, so i would, wouldn’t i? so ok, what if we hedged it a bit and put the age as like, 14? that way it’s not little kids, it’s all teenagers. but no, gross, 14-year-olds are children. fun fact: so are 16-year-olds. they are also children.

what about fic about two teenagers having a consensual encounter? should all romantic or sexual fic have to be about adults only? your answer to this may very well be “yes,” and that’s completely valid. a teenager writing fic might disagree. somebody who’s a big fan of a show that’s about a bunch of teenagers might disagree. should there be an adults-only section on the site? there’s already a “stop, you have to be 18″ box to check before you can access explicit fic, so how do we verify a user’s age? they can just lie about their age and click through anyway. you have to be 18 to make a youtube account and i’ve had one since i was 13. i remember very deliberately choosing a new birth year when it asked for my birthdate.

then you get to slightly greyer areas like large age gaps, or heavy role play between consenting adults. i have absolutely witnessed fic that’s clearly written to be CP, but it’s tagged as age play. so like, for all intents and purposes this is CP, but if you roll in like “hey, this is fucked up,” they can be like, “oh, so you read this picturing actual children, sicko?? you have a problem with two adults doing shit in the bedroom??? how dare you!!! don’t like don’t read!!!”

it’s kind of like on porn sites, how they make like nasty inc*st stuff but call it “stepmom” or whatever, like oh, they’re not actually related! sure, joseph, thanks for covering all your bases

so we can’t ban kinks. or can we? should we limit depictions of serious addictions or domestic abuse too? torture, or even body horror? these are generally accepted to be dark content.

i’m not trying to engage in whataboutism, i’m naming actual, relevant questions about shit that’s disturbing in real life (no offense to kink people who follow codes of consent and conduct) and can be incredibly upsetting to encounter online. shit that i can’t imagine wanting to read, let alone write.

these are the questions that we, you, i, people pro-a*3 and people anti-a*3, are all asking, and not a single one of us can or should answer them unilaterally.

so it’s like, oh, okay, so there should be no oversight at all? should there be no rules? no, obviously, that would be horrible, i don’t trust any of these fuckers to conduct themselves civilly. so there should be some rules, but not too many rules. that’s what we have now, and clearly the way things are now isn’t working because a lot of users are reasonably very upset.

should there be a voting system, and rules are set by a popular vote? should certain words be flagged and you can’t post the fic with that word in it? should there be a thing where when you post a fic, you have to select the ages of each character and that’s listed at the top of the fic? what if they age during the fic? should there be a flagging function, where you report someone for not using sufficient tags? users will find workarounds for all of this. you know they will. so mods will have to be very specific about the rules and introduce, like, a vetting system for it. which is a lot more manpower and a lot more chances for subjective judgments.

all of the above is why it operates on a tagging system instead. i’m gonna be real, i only go on a*3 to read comments on my own shit lmao, and even when i did go on there more often i never went in the tags searching for fic. so is there a blacklist function? is there a flagging function?

if there is a flagging function, maybe they make it so that if the flagged user has violated the rules, their account is suspended and their fic made private for the duration and until they add necessary tags.

cool, a compromise. but uh-oh, it turns out Mod A agrees that this fic is n*ncon, but Mod B thinks it’s just vague, not n*nconsensual, and doesn’t feel comfortable banning the fic. or it turns out User didn’t post anything flaggable, they were reported by somebody who is targeting them for some reason, or by someone who is more stringent about n*ncon than somebody else would be, like, it’s gotta be enthusiastic and verbal consent or else it’s skirting the edges too much.

it’s like, we’ve already witnessed censorship (please take this word usage gently, i know it’s touchy but it’s the word to use here) being a problem here on tumblr with their stupid nipple ban. there’s a double standard regarding whose nipples are explicit and whose are kosher for public consumption. people have to appeal their shit getting flagged and sometimes nothing gets fixed regardless. i’m sure other people are pleased that there’s less of a chance of them accidentally scrolling past a picture of a hard dick at work.

so you get it, this is a problem that’s more complicated than “all of x should be banned and if you post it there’s something wrong with you,” a belief you’re more than entitled to hold but can’t base, like, fanfic legislation off of. you get it you get it.

you get it, but like, what is the fucking deal with those “fandom moms” who go off on soliloquies about the days of old or whatever the fuck whenever this topic comes up? what about the weirdos who are like, “what’s next, banning gay fic????” yeah, if we allow gay marriage you can marry a tree, that’s how it works, thanks tiffany.

but no, the reason they do this is NOT that they think lgbtq content is comparable in any way to CP. the reason they do this is that this exact problem has taken place on every site that has ever hosted fic. and many previous sites did think lgbtq content was comparable to CP. it was categorized as adult content and hidden.

that’s why a*3 exists in the first place. it was to avoid godmodding and absolutism. it’s supposed to be more or less self-governed. i don’t want there to be CP on a*3 any more than you do, but i also don’t trust randos to decide what is and isn’t acceptable content. this topic is not new.

i’m in support of stronger government regulation in real life because it can be argued that certain actions and systems violate human rights. everybody deserves food and shelter, for example. the same can’t be argued in this case because some creep writing CP doesn’t violate my rights. i find it offensive and i don’t think they should be writing it, but my right to click the back button is intact. there is no institution making it impossible or even difficult for me to not read fanfiction. the creep could just as reasonably argue that their right to post what they want is being affected.

why is this response so long? is it because i can’t shut up? yes, but also because this is a complex issue and that’s why nobody has taken significant action on it.

people are also big mad.

i’ve never understood this impulse to see somebody not doing a thing you want them to do and assume it’s out of malice or incompetence, anyway. i don’t know anybody who volunteers for a*3 but it’s my assumption that given the choice to have us all pissed at them, or have us all not pissed at them, they would choose to have us not be pissed at them. it just seems like the reasonable reaction to have. and like, i’d be pretty shocked to part the kimono and find out they’re all CP-loving gargoyles and a*3 actually stands for A lot Of child abus3. that is the reason i have not been like, “fuck a*3.” because what are they supposed to do, you know?

there’s no simple or inarguably morally right solution here. the princess is in another castle. just post fic on tumblr, i guess? make another hosting site that’s exactly like a*3 but romantic characters can only be like, 21?

i actually think the legal age in the US should be raised to 21, not joking. your brain literally and biologically isn’t finished developing at 18. teenagers lack the world experience to make decisions that adults make.

somewhere there is an 18-year-old or a person who moved out and became self sufficient at 18 who hates this sentiment. there’s a teenager in an abusive home who would be intensely demoralized by the prospect of having to remain beholden to these people for three more years.

and there’s a parent who is relieved to know that their kid can’t be preyed on by army recruiters for three more years. there’s a person who got into a car crash with a teenager who misjudged whether or not they could make a turn who’s like, yeah, she could probably have benefited from a few more years.

nothing is as simple as it should be. i agree with you, but i’m not willing to pass blanket judgments with regards to actions that should be taken. and honestly, given how little i actually go on the site, i don’t even have a dog in this fight. so all my opinions on it are moot anyway.

(side note, if you are in an abusive home and you can’t make your own bank account, or if your bank account is monitored by your abusive parents, maybe try venmo? you can get a debit card that pulls directly from your venmo balance. a surprising number of places accept venmo payments, and this way you can save up money in secret.)

anyway uhhhhh seeya

#who is this even #haters #long post #please DO NOT REBLOG

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geekwiththegoggles · 5 years ago

Text

Hey,

As we get closer to the Spoopy Season™, and haunted attractions start being a thing,

just wanna send some good vibes out early and say, please,

Don't be a dick to scare actors,

Deffo don't be a dickish scare actor, but mainly ...

DON'T BE A DICK TO SCARE ACTORS

More constructively, if you are going to visit a haunt this year, hey, have fun! It's a great way to get your thrills in. Blacklights! Torches! Soundtracks in minor keys! The fear of the unknown in bite sized encounters! Brushes with darkness only to come out the other side smelling like fog juice! Instant new friends with a random group of strangers because your friends abandoned you while running away! Fake guts are a hoot! Clowns...? Erm, yeah no. Still no to clowns...

But it's also a place where you're gonna encounter a lot of uncomfortable stuff, too: tight spaces, dimly lit/totally blacked out rooms, flashing lights, the sensation of being in situations where you don't have the ability to be in control, jump scares, bangs and knocks, unpleasant sights and noises, and of course... clowns. I think you get my point here. Now, a lot of people hate being called out or caught off-guard in front of strangers, let alone their buds. Can't be cool if you're jumping eighteen inches off the ground grabbing your crotch and screaming at top volume (not judging but also... well, dudes, you've been warned. This is a common occurrence).

I get it! But that's also what you kinda paid for, in a way. To be caught off guard. To feel, for the briefest moment, vunerable and scared. To enter a place that oozes smoke and resonates with screams and find yourself amongst the decay and delight in it because hey, cursed mirrors and undead fiends aren't real! It's fake! And we all know it's fake! That lady with the missing eye is fake! That dude with the demon horns is fake! That janky and 'cursed' animatronic is fake!

Now, your Insta account might blow up because, herr derr, you ripped the juke off of your third attraction that night to reveal the lightboard switch or a random dude waiting to pop out because, hey, ha ha, it's fake! But hey, do you also know what happens when you do that?

You become That Dick™ because now only you are laughing.

You become that person that needs to be monitored by security and someone's manager because you don't know how to get over yourself and have fun.

Live a little!

Get spooked!

Be scared!

Laugh afterwards at yourself! It's okay! Guess who, thirty seconds prior to popping out of the dark corridor, got spooked by their own reflection because they misjudged how close to the mirror they were! That's right! Probably the scare actor!

Listen, easiest way to know you're not getting touched or separated forcibly from your group is this: did you sign a consent form saying the spooks can touch you? No? Cool, the least they're probably gonna do is tap your shoulder. They have rules, my dudes, to protect them from you! Yeah that's right, because in here, YOU are the unknown. YOU hold the power. YOU are the reason a scare actor is scary by either running away or screaming or standing there with your phone out asking about their Fortnite handle or some shit. And... flossing. Or whatever this is...

But I am mondo serious. This is a judgement-free, genuinely concerned for your well-being statement. You think you can't handle the scenario because hey, zombie-virus apacolypses conceptually bum you out? Flashing lights and sudden noises ain't your thang? Clowns?

And YOU also bring in the dangerous element of kicking and punching and and possibly shoving someone's face into a tray full of vomit and condiments (I am ABSOLUTELY judging here, y'all, you sick fucks out there are just mean). Crowds of civilians are far more frightening than crowds of scare actors. Know why? A scare actor has a set of parameters to work in: Zombie, Demon, Clown, Ghost. We all know and accept what those roles entail. Know what role the patron has? Self-aware target. And when you take yourself too seriously? Entitled person who thinks they have, because "they pay for them to have a job", a captive audience. Gag. They're the biggest monster. They're the ones who kick and tug and touch and throw and wreck shop because... they're bored? Okay, sure.

Right. This has gone a bit too barbed and a bit too long...

I feel you. Take it from the BIGGEST mark. I get tachycardia from just thinking about telling someone they dropped five bucks. But take it also from someone who has been a fairly successful spook. It's an agreement that we're both entering here: you suspend your belief, and in return, I respect your boundaries. Granted, there will always be outliers and jerks. I'm not speaking for them. I'm asking on behalf of the folks who like to have a little fun and get a little scared, and with an unspoken wink and nod, share that moment with you.

TL;DR: If you can't take the scare, please, stay out of the haunt.

Okay, keep it weird, and thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#gg ramble #long post #woops i got on a soapbox #i know I'm screaming into the void here #but please #be kind #scare actors #haunted attractions

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emberprince · 5 years ago

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Answer ALL of those in the ask meme you reblogged (or just cocoa if you're a coward)

oh you have no idea how badly I wanted to do this already I was just waiting for the opportunity... and you have given it to me you FOOL! now I have a reason to continue procrastinating on my homework

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

‣ I had just joined my first ‘good’ RP guild on World of Warcraft. She was sitting in the same building as me when my character was interviewed. I thought she was very cool but also very intimidating... I wanted to be friends with her but I was also an IDIOT and very new to roleplay so I kind of hope she remembers little of that time... We sort of fell out of contact for like 5 years but I followed her deviantart account and always added her art to my favorites because it was very CUTE and GOOD... anyway by sheer coincidence we ended up in a guild together again after many years and got to know each other more and now I think I would die if my best friend was anyone else

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

‣ man, high school doesnt matter. literally nothing matters as much as you think it does. it’s OKAY. stop caring what people think of you because it’s only going to give you depression and no one likes that. it’s okay. trust me. just chill. skip school once in a while

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

‣ I’ve always wanted to learn sign language... I’ve also wanted to learn like, blacksmithing or woodworking but I’ve never had the opportunity or tools to do so :(

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

‣ normally I would list one of my OCs but that’s cheating. I’d have to say Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, she seems the most like me. I’d LIKE to identify as a cool protagonist but I don’t have the protagonist personality

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

‣ cloaks and cool leather jackets and long flowing coats that make me look cool as FUCK. also dresses with pockets PLEASE I just want a semi-casual dress with functioning POCKETS PLEASE also I would love to have some nice boots and leggings that are a little thicker and don’t show as much as the flimsy ones. Coats/leggings/boots are just nice. I like shirts that are flowy and breathable, kind of like tunics

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

‣ onions, mustard, peppers, broccoli, guacamole. basically no one ever cooked them for me when I was a kid then I grew up and realized that cooked vegetables are delicious as FUCK

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

‣ I’m really tired of seeing all the anti-cop posts. My dad is a wildlife law enforcement officer and one of the best people I know, and this whole new view on police has made his job a lot more dangerous. I understand that some cops are horrible people but the majority of them are really kind and unique individuals once you get to know them. Most of them dedicated their entire career to helping others, even if it means getting into dangerous situations. you can unfollow me for this if you want

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

‣ I wouldn’t die instantly because I’d immediately run into the wilderness and hide instead of raiding stores where the outbreak is literally happening, but I’m not great at living off the land so I’d probably eat something poisonous and die of a disease or starvation a couple weeks later. If I somehow found a good food source or had something to hunt with I’d be alright.

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

‣ jameela jamil...

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

‣ no

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

‣ I’d like to pass all my classes and maybe get A’s and B’s... I’d also like to just be happy for a little while. Maybe get the hell out of my dorm but I don’t think that’s likely to happen. Most other years I’d say ‘fall in love’ but I really just am not ready for that right now. OH wait I’d like to receive 1 million dollars please

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

‣ CHEMISTRY. holy shit

bonfire - describe your dream house.

‣ a few minutes outside a town with everything I need like a grocery store, hospital, etc. A BIG spacious house in the middle of the woods near a waterfall with a rustic cabin design. Pine forest, one big window in the living room so I can look out at the mountains and watch it snow in the winter. Lots of comfortable furniture, a sectional couch, a big kitchen so I can do a lot of cooking and a big bedroom with a king sized bed. A jacuzzi. One room is like a giant playroom for Zuko with lots of perches and toys and ropes so he can just have the time of his life. My large bedroom also has a nice window with a view of the mountains and a windowseat in front of it. The living room has an electric fireplace. I have a couple guest rooms so I can host people and the basement has a bar where we can have little get-togethers.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

‣ idk I kind of like the present. we have all these nice things we don’t normally have. I’d say like 10-20 years into the future maybe but I have no idea what the world is going to be like then sooo... maybe not. I wouldn’t want to live without the internet and running water and all the comforts I have now, though

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

‣ I... miss parts of it. I miss the drama club in the high school I went to before I transferred. I had a lot of great memories there and sometimes I wish I could go back. And I miss the friends I made there that I don’t really talk to anymore. I don’t miss ANYTHING about the school I actually graduated from, that place was hellllllllllllll

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

‣ I think... hair? Usually when I get compliments it’s just general about my appearance but I think I’ve heard hair mentioned before

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

‣ I haven’t really had street encounters since I don’t talk to anyone when I’m walking, but I have a few wild stories from when I worked at mcdonalds. One person came through the drive thru with 2 monkeys that tried to climb into the restaurant. Another person raved to me about how Google was taking over the world (they were right). Another person pulled up and I was about to hand them their food and the conversation went like this:

him: [grinning at me] you see the person in the line behind me?

me: yeah haha why? [hands him his food]

him: she looks like madam mim from the sword in the stone [laughs and drives away]

there are truly some cryptids out there.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

‣ I like iced tea in the summer and hot tea in the winter. With coffee, I prefer frappes in the summer and in the winter I drink a lot of mochas or regular coffee with just. so much creamer

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

‣ I think humans are inherently good, or at least neutral. We’re very social animals and for society to survive we have to be kind to one another so that we stick around, I think. Bad behavior seems to be learned.

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

‣ I am... neutral. I used to be VERY messy but now I’m mostly clean. My own area can get a little disorganized but I never encroach on anyone else’s space.

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

‣ One. I met up with this guy and he talked about himself the entire time. Other dates have been pretty neutral, I wouldn’t say I’ve had many ‘good’ dates either.

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

‣ I used to want really long red anime hair, and I still kind of want that. I haven’t dyed my hair in a while because I want to see what my natural color looks like before I dye it again. Lately I’ve considered cutting it to shoulder-length but I think I probably won’t. I like red hair (dark red, not the natural red) but I’ve always REALLY wanted to try silver hair. If I couldn’t do silver, I’d do rose gold. For those colors I have to get it professionally dyed though, and I’m really cheap... so if I can’t walmart dye it, it’s gonna be a while until I get what I want.

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

‣ I guess my cat and bird are still in my life, but I can’t have them in my dorm, and that sucks. I miss a few of my old friends, but not that much because I have better friends now. It’s really weird not having my grandpa around anymore. He wasn’t a great person but I’ve never gone to a family gathering without him. I think that’s going to be weird to get used to. I wish I had a supportive significant other that I just click with but usually my luck is awful with relationships so I’m not going to try anything like that for a while.

#answered #wow oversharing time #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #adven-t

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