#but yeah little insight to how i write i guess

[mrpenguinpants]

Reading through the tags of your response, i absolutely see what you mean, because the moment you say that a lot of stuff (esp on Tumblr) maybe feels like "bare bones" i was like "ye that's exactly what i mean". You put the damn shmeat on the bones, and oh man do I appreciate it. Thank you for writing! 🤝😤

I'm glad to have you as a reader ♪(´▽｀) and I appreciate that you enjoy my writing. I'll admit that I've never really cared about what I wrote, it was just something I thought of and one day decided to write down, but it feels nice being uh Appreciated? Yes lol. Though I guess that's a bit hypocritical of me for what I'm about to say.

I'm mainly speaking about my old work and how I used to write things but I kind of want to talk about it. I feel like a lot of x reader fics are made to be bare bones. Not even against the author or anything either. For example, if you took any ship fic and compared it to an x reader fic, there's clearly a difference. I know it's because with ships, you have characters that have lore and personalities that you can build dynamics off of but when it's a reader? You kind of have nothing to work with and you tend to stay neutral. There's nothing wrong with the bare-bones writing style btw, sometimes I just want to see some fluff. But since that's what everyone writes, it starts to get kinda meh? It's how I would see smut fics. There's only so much you can write about sex before it's just the same thing over and over again. And that's not anyone's fault, that's just how you do things. This is why I don't read a lot of genshin fics, especially on tumblr. I'm not saying my writing is superior or anything. I think my writing style right now still clings to this bare-bones writing method, I just happen to make a weird prompt for it. Honestly, everything I write is literal "I thought of this right this second, and now I'm going to type it out so I don't forget." like I'm keeping a pseudo-dream journal. I do believe that people have stories they want to write but they cut out the character-specific details and post that instead. I don't know, that's just how I've always felt when I first started writing.

[aquaticmercy]

Of Heroes and Heartstrings (Part One)

Summary : Bucky Barnes develops a crush on the researcher who interviewed him.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader (she/her) (The reader works in academia and is writing about superheroes and how they perceive themselves in the 21st century)

Warnings/tags : Meet cute!!! Bucky crushing hard on you. Bucky's past. Sam being a little annoying.

Requested by :  myself again

Word count : 2.4k

Note : I think I might turn this into a three-part series! I would love to write the about gang playing monopoly together. Let me know if you want to be tagged in part 2 or 3!

Series Masterlist

Requests are open!

Bucky wasn’t sure why he agreed to this. He wasn’t even sure why he was sitting in a tiny cafe off the beaten path, waiting for a complete stranger to interview him about… superheroes? He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, glancing at the door for the fifth time in two minutes.

It wasn’t like he had anything special to offer. Sure, people knew him as the Winter Soldier, but that wasn’t exactly something to be proud of. And superhero? That wasn’t a title he claimed. That was for people like Sam and Steve. They were the ones doing good things, saving people.

He was just trying to piece himself back together.

Yet, here he was, because Happy Hogan had sent him a message with a request that seemed harmless enough. He told him about you, how you were working on writing a paper on superheroes and how they perceive themselves for your big research project. Happy had mentioned that Sam and Yelena had already spoken with you, and they’d apparently walked away smiling. 

That statement was enough to make Bucky curious.

He felt a small pang of nerves in his stomach. Maybe it wasn’t too late to just bail—

The cafe door chimed softly, and then he saw you.

Happy had shown him photos, and that sweet, determined smile of yours was unmistakable.

You stepped into the cafe with an air of calm but curious energy, eyes scanning the space before they landed on him. For a brief moment, he froze. You smiled. Not the kind of smile people gave him because they recognise him and didn’t know what to say. Your smile was genuine, bright and easy, like you were happy just to be here, ever so passionate about your research.

“Hi, Bucky, right?” you asked as you approached the table. 

He nodded, feeling the slightest bit awkward but gestured toward the chair across from him. "Yeah. You’re, uh, the research… superhero… person?" He cringed inwardly at his inability to sound more intelligent. 

You laughed, a soft, warm sound that pulled a smile from him before he even realized. "I guess that’s one way to put it. Thanks for meeting with me." You set your bag down and pulled out a small recorder, setting it between the two of you. He had been given the consent form beforehand, he had known that it was going to be recorded. You introduced yourself, telling him your name. He repeated it, liking the way it sounded on his lips. 

"I know you probably don’t get a lot of requests like this,” you continued.

He snorted. "Yeah, not really the type that gets interviewed, but I figured Sam and Yelena didn’t give you too much grief, so…"

“They were great,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “Sam was really thoughtful. He has some incredible insights about how the world perceives enhanced and enhanced-adjacent individuals. And Yelena…” You smiled, clearly holding back laughter. “She has a very direct way of answering questions.”

Bucky shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him. That sounded exactly like Yelena.

There was a pause, not the awkward kind, but the kind where you looked at him in a way that made him feel like he was being truly seen. Like he was human. Not just as the guy with the metal arm or the assassin from his past, but as… more. It was disconcerting, but not in a bad way.

You finally broke the silence. “So, I was thinking we could start with a little bit of your history in World War II and move into what it’s been like for you since. Is that okay?”

He nodded, relaxing a little. “Yeah, sure.”

You hit the record button, and the interview began.

—

At first, Bucky gave the kind of answers he was used to giving. Short, factual. He explained his past, his ties to Hydra, his journey since. But as the interview went on, something shifted. You weren’t just asking questions to check a box—you were genuinely interested in him. You didn’t ask about the Winter Soldier like so many others had before. Instead, you asked about James Buchanan Barnes, the person. The man who fought alongside his best friend in the war, who now worked hard to make amends.

You had even done your research. You knew he was a YMCA welterweight champion back in the day, and though he was a teeny bit embarrassed, he answered your questions truthfully.

“What do you think people misunderstand the most about you?” you asked after a thoughtful pause. 

That question caught him off guard. He blinked and sat back in his chair, fingers absentmindedly rubbing the edge of the table. “I think people still see me as the Winter Soldier. They don’t see me as someone trying to move on from that.”

Your expression softened, your gaze holding a quiet understanding. “But you’re more than that, aren’t you?” you coaxed, careful not to put words in his mouth.

For a moment, Bucky didn’t know what to say. The way you said it—so gently, so assuredly—it was like you had seen past everything. All the damage, the guilt, the regrets… and still believed in who he was.

He glanced down, unsure how to respond. “I’d like to think so,” he muttered, barely above a whisper. 

“I think a lot of people do.” you said softly, your voice kind and warm. 

His chest tightened. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had made him feel like he wasn’t defined by his past. You made him feel like he could be more.

Maybe that’s why, when the interview wrapped up and you turned off the recorder, he didn’t want the conversation to end.

“Thank you for doing this,” you said, gathering your things but not quite standing yet. “You’ve been an open book, and I know it can’t be easy.”

“It’s not,” Bucky admitted, surprising even himself with his honesty. “But… you’re easy to talk to.” He winced at how desperately that must’ve sounded. Then, he saw the way your eyes lit up at the compliment, and for once, he didn’t regret his words.

You tilted your head slightly, a teasing glint in your eyes. “Well, I try to make my interviewees comfortable so they spill all their secrets.”

Bucky smirked, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. “It worked.”

You laughed, standing up and sliding the recorder back into your bag. “I’ll try not to use my powers for evil.”

As you started to leave, something tugged at his heartstrings. He didn’t want you to walk out of his life like that. Not yet.

“Hey, uh,” he called out, rubbing the back of his neck, “if you ever need any more… info, or… whatever, for your research, feel free to, you know… stay in touch.”

Your eyes softened as you looked at him. “I’d really like that.” You pulled out your phone and handed it to him. “Here, put your number in.”

He did as you asked, feeling strangely nervous as he handed the phone back to you. You smiled again, that warm, bright smile that calmed him down.

“I’ll be in touch,” you promised as you waved and walked out of the cafe.

For a long moment, Bucky sat there, staring at the door long after you’d left. He felt lighter, somehow. Like the weight of his sins didn’t seem quite so heavy anymore.

—

Over the next few weeks, Bucky found himself texting you far more than he expected. It started off simple—follow-up questions about his experience with the Avengers, a few casual remarks about Yelena’s boldness, Sam’s “Captain America speeches.”

He had been able to introduce you to Isaiah Bradley. He hesitated about that for a moment, but after the interview, Isaiah had called him, thanking the former assassin for introducing him to someone who truly cared. Someone who truly wanted to make a difference in the world.

You continued texting, but slowly, the texts turned more personal.

One evening, he was hanging out with Sam in his apartment, soda in hand, when he heard a familiar vibration of his phone. It was you.

You : What do you like to do in your free time, Bucky? Something other than saving the world, I mean.  

Bucky : Well, I enjoy board games. I play monopoly with Sam and the others every other week on Saturdays.  

You : Maybe I should join you guys sometime. I’ll warn you now—I’m competitive.

He had stared at that text longer than he’d admit, his heart doing strange somersaults in his chest.

Bucky : I don’t mind a challenge.

Bucky sat on the couch, phone in hand, staring at your latest text. He had been reading it over and over for the last five minutes, trying to muster the courage to respond. His stomach twisted with nerves. 

Just then, Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts, dragging him back to reality. 

“Why are you looking at your phone like you’re about to defuse a bomb?”

Bucky glanced up to see Sam back from the bathroom, standing in the doorway, a smirk already creeping across his face. He’d been too distracted to notice his return.

“Nothing,” Bucky muttered, quickly locking his phone and stuffing it into his pocket, as if he was naive enough to think that would stop Sam from prying. 

“Let me guess,” Sam said, walking over with way too much interest. “She texted you.”

Bucky sighed, slumping in his seat. He knew there was no escape from Sam’s teasing. “It’s not like that.”

“Uh-huh.” Sam dropped onto the couch beside him, casually crossing his arms. “I’m not stupid. I can see you blushing every time she messages you.”

“I’m not blushing,” Bucky grumbled, shifting uncomfortably. Sam had been relentless—giving him a hard time ever since he’d found out about the texts that followed your interview. You had kept in contact with Sam when you interviewed him, too— you shared the odd how are you and clarifications for research, but not to the extent that Bucky had. 

The second Bucky mentioned to him that you had been texting daily, he regretted it. He knew he never should have let him see even a hint of it.

Sam wasn’t letting it go. “What did she say this time? Oh, wait, let me guess—‘I had such a great time interviewing you, Bucky. Let’s hang out more, Bucky. You’re just so mysterious and handsome, Bucky,’” he teased, his voice high-pitched as he mimicked a lovesick version of you.

Bucky shot him a glare, rolling his eyes.

Sam just grinned. “Come on, man. Just tell me.”

Bucky hesitated, but then sighed in defeat, pulling his phone back out. “She might want to join our Monopoly night. She said she’s competitive.”

That got Sam’s attention. He raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed. “Oh, so now she’s getting in on game night? Damn, Barnes, you're pulling all the stops.”

“It’s not like that,” Bucky repeated, but even he knew how weak, and untrue, it sounded this time. 

Sam gave him a pointed look. “Oh, it’s exactly like that. She likes you, and you like her. I’ve been saying it for weeks now, but you’re still sitting here, all brooding and shy. Just ask her out!”

Bucky shifted awkwardly. “I don’t even know how.”

“You already talk to her all the time, right?” Sam laughed, shaking his head. “Just ask her if she wants to come to game night as your date.”

Bucky blinked. “A date?”

“You know, two people who like each other doing something fun together? It’s not complicated, Buck.”

He mulled over Sam’s words, the idea both exciting and terrifying. He hadn’t thought about it in those terms, but now that Sam had said it, it made sense. You had been texting him more often than seemed necessary for research, and there had definitely been a… connection. A spark.

Sam clapped him on the shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Look, man, I’ll help you out. We’ll frame it like she’s just coming to Monopoly night, We’ll invite Yelena and Happy, since she already knows them. and maybe Rhodey, Clint, and Scott, just to sweeten the deal. Make it less awkward. You’ll ask her to be your date. No pressure, just fun.”

Bucky frowned. “And if she says no?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “She won’t. She’s already asking to hang out with you more. Besides, if she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t still be texting.”

Bucky wasn’t entirely convinced, but Sam’s confidence was enough to give him the push he needed. 

“Okay,” Bucky said finally, his voice a little rough. “But how do I ask?”

Sam grinned. “Easy. Call her, don’t just text. That way she knows you’re serious. Keep it casual, though. Say something like, ‘Hey, you still want to join Monopoly night? I was thinking… maybe we could make it a date?’”

Bucky stared at him, his expression blank. “You really think it’s that simple?”

“Yes,” Sam said with exasperation, pushing Bucky’s phone toward him. “Come on, man.”

With a deep breath, Bucky pulled up your contact details. Sam watched with a smug grin as Bucky hesitated for just a moment, his thumb hovering over the call button. Then, with a sigh, Bucky pressed it, holding the phone to his ear as the line rang.

Sam gave him a thumbs-up, leaning back on the couch.

The line clicked, and your voice came through the speaker, light and warm.

“Hey, Bucky!”

Bucky felt his heart do that stupid flip again. He shot a glare at Sam, who was giving him a ridiculous “go on” motion, before speaking.

“Hey, I was just, uh, wondering if you still wanted to join us for Monopoly night? Sam, Yelena, and a few others are coming, but… I was thinking maybe you could, you know… come as my date?”

There was a pause on your end, and Bucky’s heart practically stopped. Maybe Sam had been wrong—maybe this was too soon. Then, your soft chuckle broke the silence.

“I’d love to,” you said, your voice warm and teasing. “Are you sure you’re ready to lose?”

Bucky grinned, glancing at Sam, who was nodding with approval. “I’ll take my chances.”

“Okay,” you replied with a chuckle. “Saturday, right? I’ll bring snacks. What do you like?”

“Something sweet,” Bucky answered, feeling much more relaxed now that the hard part was over. “Sam loves cookies.”

“Got it,” you said, your tone light and playful. “See you Saturday, Bucky.”

He smiled, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. “See you then.”

As he hung up the phone, Sam slapped him on the back, his grin wide. “You’re welcome, Barnes.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the smile tugging at his lips, grinning like an idiot.

Maybe Sam had been right, after all.

-to be continued…

Part 2 is uploaded!

[jaywonjuice]

head in the clouds 💭 | y.jw

synopsis you were enjoying a romantic picnic with your boyfriend in hangang park when all of a sudden a familiar face unexpectedly crashed (into) the date.

genre fluff, oneshot

pairing bf!jungwon x fem reader (feat. jake, niki)

warnings sfw intimacy, physical contact, kissing

wc 752

a/n had such a lovely time writing this one !! jw rly radiates romantic picnic date energy it just felt right ..) hope u enjoy !<3

with a contented sigh, you rolled over onto your back, gazing up at the afternoon sky.

‘aren’t clouds crazy?’ you murmured to the brown-haired boy sat next to you on the gingham picnic blanket. ‘like seriously, there are huge clusters of frozen crystals floating around up there and we’re just going about our lives paying no attention whatsoever,’ when no response followed, you propped yourself up on your elbows to look directly at him.

‘paying no… attention… at all…’ you watched him carefully. he sat not three feet away from where you lay, legs crossed and eyes glued to his phone screen. your words had clearly fallen short of reaching him in any capacity.

‘hey, earth to jungwon? hello???’ you punctuated the words with a prod to his knee.

finally, jungwon looked up. he blinked. ‘huh? oh, sorry, yeah, clouds,’ he scratched his head as he fumbled for the right words. ‘they’re… they’re pretty fluffy-looking. i think i’d quite like to pet a cloud,’ he offered.

another soft blink from those expectant doe eyes, and you had to fight back a smile tugging at your lips. despite giving this resistance your very best effort, you failed.

‘thank you for your insightful contribution to this intellectual discussion,’ you teased, causing his cheeks to flush slightly. ‘what, exactly, is occuring on your phone that’s that more interesting than clouds, then?’

‘erm… well, you.’

his cheeks reddened even more. you shot him a puzzled look. ‘ “me”? how d’you mean?’

in place of a response jungwon simply turned his phone towards you, showing you your own recent instagram post from earlier that day. he smiled shyly down at you.

‘you know, you’re much prettier than a cloud.’

you groaned at the sappy comment, covering your face with your hands, before eventually letting out a little laugh, deciding to embrace the ridiculousness of the whole conversation. ‘i wish i was a cloud,’ you joked.

‘i don’t,’ he pouted, leaning down towards you ever so slightly. ‘i don’t reckon i get to make out with a cloud, you know.’

now it was your turn to blush. ‘oh uh, no, i guess not. i hadn’t really thought about that…’ your voice trailed off as jungwon leaned in further still until his nose almost brushed yours.

‘i’m thinking about it,’ he murmured. before you could come up with a reply he pressed his lips to yours. your lips parted instinctively, moving to kissing him back.

all of a sudden you heard a faint shout from a voice you thought you recognised, and not a second later something came crashing into the side of your leg with force.

the two of you broke out of your kiss abruptly as you let out a surprised cry.

‘hey, watch it!’ jungwon shouted out to the figure jogging over to the two of you.

‘jesus, sorry!’ panted jake as he reached you, stooping to retrieve the rogue football from the picnic blanket. ‘sorry, sorry!! niki booted that one way too hard, totally lost control! i did call out to warn you but you must’ve not heard me,’ he looked down at you, face full of concern. ‘y/n, are you alright?’

sitting up, you nodded. ‘yeah i’m all good,’ you replied. relieved, the boy’s face relaxed.

‘you gotta be more careful jake, you could’ve actually hurt her,’ warned jungwon.

‘i know, i know, it was my bad.’ jake tugged the hair at the nape of his neck, clearly feeling awkward about his blunder.

‘don’t sweat it jake, really. i’m fine, won’s fine,’ you smiled reassuringly at your friend. ‘so no harm done.’ he shot you a grateful smile back, his anxiety seeming to dissipate.

‘y’know, i was gonna come over earlier to see if you guys wanted to join me and niki for a game but you guys looked kinda, uh… busy,’ he grinned sheepishly.

you rolled your eyes, and jungwon groaned, ‘ugh, get out of here already jake!!’

with a wink, and still grinning boyishly, jake turned tail and began to jog away again. after only a few paces however, a thought struck him, and he turned back, about to call your name out again, only to see that the pair of you had wasted absolutely no time at all picking up right where you left off. chuckling to himself, he let the thought go, and headed back.

‘are they gonna come join?’ niki asked as jake approached.

‘nah,’ jake shook his head, smiling. ‘head in the clouds, the pair of them, honestly.’

©jaywonjuice | do not copy or re-upload my work on any platform

[odusseus-xvi]

Hello helloooo friend! Hi! I just wanted to say that I'll be going around and asking people about QSMP characters to avoid mischaracterization of said characters (in analysis, fics, and just overall fan interpretations). So if you're cool with it, can I ask you about the French streamers?

Like, can you tell me the mischaracterization you often see regarding their characters and how they actually are? I mean, ANY facts about them would be very very cool to know! I love all of them and I would really like to know more about them since I can't really watch everyone, ya kno?

Yes I would love to :D ! But also, keep in mind, I'm not immune to a bit of mischaracterization (that's how you write that right ?), sometimes I probably do a little bit, though I try my best not to. I have to admit, I don't see a lot, or just little things, and mostly from the english side of the community, cause over here with the french we are a really small part of the overall fandom, so I don't have a lot of interactions, AND it's our first (ever) smp like that (semi rp etc...), we never had that over here in France, it's a new thing both for us and the ccs, so we are getting our footing. But here we go I do have some things I can say : (wrote a fricking novel holy)

q!Baghera Jones : I see a lot of people characterize her as this hyper competent investigator that knows everything etc... In a way she is, she is a good investigator, and is always eager to solve the mysteries of the island ; What people miss most of the time is that she is also (it's not mutually exclusive) a Goofball : She sings randomly, she walks on mines and jumps off buildings willingly for the lols, some people say she witholds information, most of the time she actually just Forgor. Something that people do get most of the time is that she genuinely is really empathetic : She loves Walter Bob, two days ago she talked about how Cucurucho may be manipulated, she is worried about Quackity, about Cellbit, Foolish, Jaiden etc... And outside of petty rivalry (mostly with Forever, BBH, Etoiles, and a bit Cellbit) she is not a vengeful person at all. She is very understanding. Oh and almost forgot : She is surprisingly insightful ; She guessed what was happening to Cellbit as one of the firsts, she immediatly figured Gegg out the first day she met Slime, ElQuackity is VERY obviously another person than Quackity at first glance etc...

q!Etoiles : There was for some time a bit of mischaracterization in the way people saw him as a bloodthirsty killing machine, though it is fading steadily as we speak ; He is a really nice person that lifts up others, gift them things whenever he can, cares about the eggs, and is always reactive when it comes to saving or helping others. Also, he is a badass in the eyes of everyone (ccs and fandom) but people have a way to write that in fics that doesn't really match him : They write a badass and dark character that is mostly silent and cool ; Etoiles is NOT that (he is badass yes but not much the rest), he SAYS he is that, that he is "dark, and broody, and mysterious", but the guy is always cracking jokes, about others, about himself, he is very self-aware of his problems (social and health related) and likes to joke about it because "it puts smiles on the faces of people" (his way of cheering people up most of the time : "You are not useless, you put smiles on my and the people's faces, and that wonderful"). The moments that CAN be a bit dark is when he is asking for a fight ; most of the time it's goofy, but then there is moments like the dinner party when the codes revealed themselves, where he will be saying while everyone panics "Yeah... Yeah.. FINALLY ! FINALLY !!" and you realise he is not to be trifled with. He aslo tends to blame himself when something wrong happens ; to him, HE is the one that misplayed, that made a mistake.

q!Aypierre : Some people could see him as a relatively chill dude ; he talks calmly, never screams and very rarely raises his voice, but he is NOT chill : He is the most gremlin of the french, his favorite past-time in all the smps he's been in is pranking and breaking the servers : Two days ago in his 24 hour stream, he broke in the federation base three times, exploded a bunch of stuff in there, tortured Foolish alongside BBH, summoned lightning to make Foosh and BBH believe Gegg is still alive in front of his infinite Gegg generator, rickrolled Cucurucho etc... He is a every ingenuous guy with ways to build factories of everything. Most people, out of the french, would fear Etoiles because he is always begging for a fight, and fought and won against the code several times, but he is a nice guy, who they probably SHOULD fear, is Aypierre, this guy can be EVIL at times ; He loves contracts and deals, and using those against the others. He is not all evil though. He does care about Pomme, the french, and is willing to help others when they need him, though he likes to make exchanges.

q!Antoine Daniel : Antoine is probably the hardest to write or get when you are not used to him. He has such a way of speaking and a weird twisted humor that to someone not french, and not watching his streams regularly, it's REAL hard to get him right. He is an apreciator of dark humor and cynicism ; Joking about Bobby in front of Pomme is an example, though he is starting to be more compassionate about the eggs than he was at the beginning of his journey on the smp. Probably because of one of my posts and some others, a lot of people see him as incredibly paranoïd, and for a time he was, though he said himself (both in and out of character) that it was starting to get better because people came talked to him about it, there IS still remains though. What's interesting is that he can be both paranoïd, AND incredibly insightful : His takes are either the rambling of a madman, or scarily on point. Though he is rarely willing to help others (both because of his next to level 0 skills in minecraft and general air of "I don't care"), he is always on alarm and willing to help when it comes to the eggs, multiple times he ironically is one of the most reactive ones when it comes to realise there is danger or a problem for the eggs ; Though he is relatively self-centered, he is very compassionate and attentive of the eggs, with Pomme potentially being the person he trusts most. (everytime he acts aloof and cynical on his stream, to then immediatly worry about Pomme's well-being warms my heart.)

q!Kamet0 : AHAHAHAHAH ahAHaHhah, ahahah... ahah.. ah. oh. (he left for cigarretes)

(HOLY SHIT I WROTE A NOVEL. Sorry, didn't excpect to have that much to say. But here you go, hope that helps.)

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.1

Jesus Christ. Okay. Let's get this going.

Y'know, I wonder if Taylor might be cynical about human nature or something, weird

Hey Dragon, very cool to meet you in the chrome.

Aww, she's starstruck

Hey Weld, cool to meet you, wish it was under less dire circumstances

See, the nice thing about the Empire showing up to an Endbringer fight is that the Endbringer can then massacre a bunch of fucking Nazis. Totally victimless deaths, and no hand-wringing about whether it's right or wrong to take them down.

If I was giving performance notes to Leviathan for this showing I would have to criticize that he didn't kill more of them, frankly

Hey kids, sorry some of you are about to get slaughtered in a fight you're way underqualified for

Hey Panacea, I'll see you later when you decide to exacerbate Skitter's paranoia in revenge for the bank job and make this arc go from bad to worse for her

So I know Legend is publicly gay from fandom osmosis, but what I don't know in this moment is whether Wildbow had decided on that beforehand and Taylor is currently ogling a gay dude, or if he decided on it after writing this. I guess it doesn't strictly matter, but it leaves me curious how much of this was laid out in advance, especially with some other writing decisions that are gonna come up this arc

So Myrddin straight up has a wizard gimmick and that's kind of wild, but not nearly as wild as the fact that a Protectorate cape apparently flew off the handle sufficiently far enough to yell a racial slur multiple times in public. Like holy shit that is some radioactive PR.

Also, while you do not in fact have to hand it to the Empire Eighty-Eight, it is very funny of Kaiser to taunt Bastion like this

So that's the Triumvirate rounded out, and... how to put this. There's something that's almost sweet about Taylor's thoughts diverting to think about the "who would win" discussions about heroes. Like, I dunno, it's a cute insight into the world. Maybe she used to have those conversations with Emma back when they were younger.

Y'know, I'm constantly wary of government-employed superheroes as a concept, but frankly i think a corporate superhero team is even more hair-raising. The Christian superheroes could break in either direction, either they're genuinely good people who take their faith seriously or they're just self-righteous pukes. Knowing the general tone of this story, I'd be surprised if it was the first one.

Hey Parian, hey Flechette, looking forward to your later contributions

What the hell is Bambina's deal, even. Does she have some kinda thing going on like Babydoll from BTAS, or what. I don't know if I've heard the name come up before.

Grue, Regent, c'mon now

Also yeah Taylor, I think you sufficiently scared the absolute bejeezus out of Sundancer when you made this story really earn a content warning for eye horror.

Okay so I did not realize that Narwhal was gonna have a goddamn exhibitionist thing going on here, what the hell. Can you just get away with whatever as long as you're not showing your nipples or genitals? Did it truly never come up that she could maybe wear pants to cover up a little bit?

So I knew previously that Legend is a notoriously poor public speaker, but the fact that he just straight up says "best case scenario twenty-five percent of you are dead before sunset" is ridiculous. Kristen Applebees could give a more inspiring speech than this.

Everyone in that room must be questioning their life choices tbh

Current Thoughts

I know they all volunteered, and I know that there's a protectiveness that comes with fighting for your hometown, but Jesus Christ there should be an age limit for fighting Endbringers. Signing up the teenagers to fight Nazis is already a bit rough, but the kaiju who is going to kill a bunch of them feels like someone should have pulled them back. It might technically have been the wrong decision given how critical kids like Flechette and Skitter end up being, but at least then I'd feel less judgmental of the people running this show.

Anyhow. God Taylor just keeps ending up being lonely, huh? Can't escape it, poor girl.

[ochrearia]

Angel Talk

Holy shit I have such bad brainrot for Peacock right now I need to blow up anyways here's bonding time for him and YS. I don't think I did a good job writing Peacock properly this time I started zoning out because I got derailed a bit. Sorry if he sounds like another BF more than himself

BFs in this one-shot: sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), Yourself (YS)

“When was the last time you went outside for some fresh air and sun?”

Peacock knew that YS was slowly making progress on moving forward from his grief and trauma, and all of that visible progress was great to see. But he was still a long way away from being properly ‘better’. So crossing through the mirror to find his brother huddled pathetically under his blanket in bed wasn’t surprising, but enough to make him still worried.

“Dunno.” YS mumbled with a weak shrug of his shoulders. “Haven’t needed to do anything outside of my apartment of late. Time is still a bit lost on me.”

Peacock sighed, walking over and sitting with his back to the side of the bed. “Come on big guy. There’s always something to be doing, you have a procrastination problem and you know it.” He watched YS pointedly look away before continuing. “Sun’s good for you. I’d say more so than a human considering how much time us angels are meant to spend in the sky.”

Right, he had to plan his words carefully here. Just because Peacock knew about his missing wings didn’t mean YS knew that he knew. The fact he had to essentially lie didn’t sit well in his gut, but the truth here was guaranteed to make him upset. That wasn’t what the other was here to do. However…

“Has something changed? We’ve all noticed but no one’s bothered to ask. You got so much more, like, affectionate all of a sudden. I never actually asked what kind of angel you are, since there’s multiple. Well, multiple in the world I come from, I guess I’m assuming that also is a feature for you.”

YS groaned, turning his head and burying it in his pillow. “I swear I am trying. Trying to ignore it because it’s fucking embarrassing. Stupid, annoying instincts. Dumb. If I was normal I wouldn’t feel embarrassed over it but I’d also not even be here if I was normal.”

“This is giving me little insight into what the fuck you’re actually talking about.” Peacock deadpanned lightly, reaching a hand over to poke at YS’s cheek and getting a chuckle out of the irritated grumble the action caused.

“Fine. Fine, I’ll tell, because it doesn’t matter and you already know most of my secrets anyway. I think. Probably. I didn’t tell you I was an angel so I’m assuming it works the same way as how I knew you were one without asking.”

“Well, yeah, that and Beefer came to me to talk about it a little.”

“That fucking lizard…” YS sighed, but there was no malice behind it. “Shows up seeing through absolutely everyone’s disguises like nothing and then doesn’t have time to slip away from his world much anymore. I’d go over there myself but he doesn’t want me doing that, says he can’t make time to get away from his Pico and GF long enough for them not to question it or see me for that matter. Miss that stupid idiot. Hope he’s okay… better be.”

Something about those last few sentences made something stir in Peacock’s head. “Wait a minute. Wait. Clingy, and apparently needing one of our brothers to be safe. Holy shit, you’re specifically a guardian angel aren’t you?”

“I didn’t!” YS started, before cutting himself off, huffing, and continuing quieter. “I didn’t plan on this happening. I didn’t even think it could happen, stupid fucking instincts, I don’t know if you have any of those. I don’t even know what kind of angel you are. Very great and fun biology prank built into my damn DNA or something. When I get attached to someone and start acting as theirs- their guardian angel I mean- makes me clingy as fuck. Possessive. Even more so than I already might have been in my own choice to care about someone. So I don’t slack off and not do my job or some stupid shit.”

“Well that explains the sudden change, then.” Peacock snickered. “Which one of us is it then? That you attached to, or whatever? Didn’t start that way so it happened recently. Do they know?”

YS paused, turning his head again and giving Peacock the most ridiculous stare. “You can’t be this stupid. Like we’re all dumb as fuck and that’s a universal attribute but there’s no way you’re this dumb.”

“Rude.” Peacock snipped back, but it was still underlyingly playful. What was he missing? Something big, clearly, from the incredulous look coming from his brother- Wait.

“Oh shit it’s everyone.” He cackled- he couldn’t help it, that was so fucking funny-

“Shut up.” Even with part of his face covered, the other could tell YS’s face was burning. “I’m opening up to you and saying things the majority don’t know yet and you’re laughing at me. Absolute betrayal.”

“Sorry!” Peacock gasped between his giggling. “Sorry, I’m not trying to laugh at you. I didn’t think guardian angels could attach to more than one person, much less thirteen of them. Don’t you think that’s a little much? Ooh, maybe not, if everyone found out you only got attached to a few instead of all there’d be so much offended fighting. But also that’d be hilarious to witness.”

“I didn’t plan on this.” YS insisted again. “You know my- um… she’s still around, her spirit is in my microphone. Doesn’t have a lot of energy to do much, but she allows me to be able to mirror walk. I’m still pissed everyone else can do it without the damn stipulations my version of it has. So dumb. I had started wondering why she was so insistent to push me towards you guys, letting me travel across universes and probably breaking several rules. It’s her fault. She knew before I did. Tricked me.”

There was something he was missing. Some piece of information that the other was refusing to mention, dancing around it instead and hoping what he was saying would be enough for Peacock to understand without it. Unfortunately for YS, he already knew. The big guy must have thought none of this angel stuff would still be able to happen without his wings. Looks like the universe proved both of them wrong.

Because if YS had truly lost his wings by being a Fallen angel, then that assumption would’ve been right. So he didn’t Fall after all.

But that meant something really had torn his wings off like Beef theorized. What could’ve possibly been cruel enough to do that? Like he’d said before, there were very few things strong enough to even do that. A Fall gone wrong, somehow? No, that wouldn’t make any sense either. Angels at least had enough sense to know that tearing off a fellow angel’s wings as a claim to “Fall” would end in them Falling too, no matter if the other deserved it or not. No sane angel would’ve done that.

No sane angel… No. No, nonono-

“Peacock?” YS’s concerned voice cut through his thoughts. “What happened? You got upset all of a sudden, did I say something?”

“No, it’s okay.” Damn, this guy was good, he could feel that happening? He really did attach to all of them. “Thinking about something. You know how it is.”

“Is it about your Pico again?” YS asked, moving to sit up. “Is it getting worse? Man, I really wish I knew how to help. I don’t know why that guy’s being so… stubborn.”

“Not that. You’re worrying yourself over nothing, you don’t need to get all worked up YS.” He didn’t want to have to start lying more than he already was, he needed to get this conversation derailed. Quickly. “Don’t think this has made me forget about my original question. You look like you haven’t seen the sun in months, man. You need to go outside. Stop moping around.”

The subject change seemed to work, YS returning to his silly grumbling. “I’m fine. There’s nothing interesting to be doing outside anyway. It’s comfortable here. Don’t want to get up.”

“Okay, are you bed rotting because you’re genuinely not feeling great right now, or are you doing it because it’s familiar?” Peacock asked.

“...Fuck. I need you idiots to stop being so smart.” YS rolled onto his back properly, rubbing his face with his hands. “Can I go outside tomorrow instead?”

Holy shit this guy was such a procrastinator. “Dude, you’re worse at taking care of your health than cleaning up your soda cans. It’s actually a mystery how you lived this long with how often you put things off until you start dying.”

“Not my fault the bed is comfy and I don’t have energy.”

“You don’t have energy because you’re staying in bed and not going outside!” Peacock exclaimed, exasperated. “Don’t even get me started on the times we have to almost beg you to fucking eat something. It’s not like we’re going to give up on you but can you at least try to make it less like pulling teeth?”

YS started playing dirty, pulling his lips into a pout. “Maybe the sun shouldn’t be outside then. The sun should come into my room directly and provide me the benefit without me having to move. That seems reasonable.”

“You’re a literal toddler.” Peacock sighed, letting off a few chuckles again. “Come on. You would be telling me the exact same thing if it was me. You wouldn’t let your brothers do this, not even for a second. You’d have us up and out of bed and protecting us while doing it, because you’re a stupid guardian angel and that’s your incentive. So… if that’s your incentive…”

“I don’t like the plotting going on right now.”

“You wouldn’t dare to keep doing something that would make your poor little brother upset, now would you?” Peacock grinned, really playing it up.

“I hate you.” YS groaned. “Biggest reason why I didn’t want to tell anyone about this. Because it’s abusable.”

“I have to find something to blackmail you with, Biff never told me what that secret was.”

“How the fuck have none of you let go of that yet. It is not that interesting and I’m never going to say it. There are better ways to get me to do something rather than subjecting me to lit up nerves.” YS paused, smacking a hand over his mouth a bit too late. “God dammit! Stop fucking around with the fact I don’t think before I speak!”

“I’m saving this information in my brain so fast.” Peacock replied, grin widening. “You’re actually ass at keeping secrets.”

“Did you only come here today to torment me? Is that your goal?”

“Nah.” Peacock said, standing up. “Came here because I care about you, big guy. Thought that would be obvious. Come on, get up, time for sunlight. Don’t make me drop my disguise just so I can drag you out of here by flight.”

“Do I get anything out of this if I agree?” YS asked, pushing himself up even more. “Or am I abandoning my comfiness for nothing?”

“Not nothing. You’re gonna get sunlight and it’s going to help you feel better, than isn’t nothing.” He paused, before adding: “And if you really need extra incentive, I could go for an hour-long hug from a guy who takes care of his health. Specifically a guy like that.”

The death glare Peacock got from YS as he fully got out of bed was incredibly worth it.

[heartthumpnovel]

Heart Thump: Chapter 7

“Growing Pains”

Word count: 9437

Just got this wrapped up before I leave for a week! This is gonna be insight to how Jason is dealing with the new big changes in his life (I am not sorry). This chapter was very fun to write because it has my favorite character in it; Oliver :> By they way, since it seems people are getting interested in this story, I've seen people do tag lists for each chapter. Let me know if you're interested in that!

cw: Cursing/Swears

Last chapter: Seeking Answers

Next chapter: It Came From Outer Space

---

 Atlas Gang Group Chat November 9th @  3:00 pm

Jason: Just got out of the doctors office.

Jason: Won’t be dying anytime soon, but, It seems like I did get electrocuted at some point on the golf course. 

Ellie: FR??? Are you going to be okay?? 

Natasha: HOW?? OH MY GOD JASON HUN I AM SO SORRY!! I SHOULD OF GOT YOU TO THE HOSPITAL!!!! D’:

Motor: Shit dude. F.

Jason: Now don’t get too upset @Motor.

Jason: But to make this clear, @Natasha you have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn’t obvious and I had a bit too many drinks. I am still not sure what shocked me but I have those lighting scars on my back…

Ellie: Like Lichtenberg Figures? At Least those are the coolest scars to possibly have right? 

Jason: @Ellie I guess... I am just lucky I managed to live through it.

Motor:  bro you realize you don’t have to @ everyone you’re trying to talk to right??? It’s literally just the four of us here.

Jason: It’s called being efficient @Motor.

Motor: I don’t wanna hear pinging coming for you every five seconds. IT'S CALLED BEING ANNOYING.

Natasha: uh hey are we just gonna ignore the fact Jason nearly died from electrocution or??

Jason: Awh @Natasha It’s quite alright! The doctor said that I had little to no damage and the shock passed right through me. He did say that it was a risk considering my heart condition but, I am overall unharmed. However, he did write me up for two weeks of rest just to be on the safe side.

Natasha: Consider the call in done. Imma also gonna look into that golf course to see if there’s any loose wiring problems and give them hell!! >:(

Ellie: YEAH GIRL GET THEM!!!!

Ellie: And here I thought golf courses couldn’t get any worse. 

Ellie: But uh Jason, wasn’t there anything else the doctor … found out about your condition or?

Jason: No. Just pain medication and rest.

Motor: yeah no big deal..no BIIGG deal at all. >:3

Natasha: :/ ????

Jason: Shut it @motor. 

Natasha: Uhhhh

Ellie: Don’t worry about it Nat. :’D 

The phone screen went dark as Jason pressed the side button on his phone and shoved it deep into his pants pocket. He didn’t need the stress that Motor was giving him for nearly spilling the beans on the whole giant fiasco. It felt like the entire thing was one stupid joke away from giving away the big secret. He laid back in the bus seat and stared down at the small paper bag filled with the prescription antibiotic cream and tylenol that was settled in his lap. 

Thinking back on the doctor appointment, Jason wished he could have told his doctor everything that was happening to him. Maybe he could have gotten more than just stuff to treat the surprise scars on his back. But, the troubles that would have come from telling his doctor would have been extremely bad. His doctor could have thought that he was either having a mental breakdown, ran out of the room screaming if Jason were to prove the claim, and may have probably called the government to take him away to be then experimented on for the rest of his life. Yeah, there’s no way he was going to take those chances.

However, Jason was told that his heartbeat was now more noticeable and beating faster than usual. Not enough to be at the regular rate but a definite improvement than before the incident.  

“Huh, cure me a little bit and in exchange turn me into a freak of nature… Not really a fair trade is it?” Jason quietly mumbled to himself as he placed a hand on his chest. Looking outside the bus window to check for his stop, his mind began to wander as he witnessed the rain outside fall into the streets of Seattle. Sure, he does believe now that he was right in the middle of this weird phenomenon but it still felt so unreal. A monkey’s paw’s finger must have curled as he always wanted to be a few more inches taller, feel more happiness and have a clean bill of health. At this cost however? 

Definitely not worth it.

While listening to the bus’s public radio talk about this newly discovered meteor that was currently in orbit of the solar system, The bus slowed and pulled up to the bus stop where Jason needed to get off. He rose from his seat and stepped off the bus as quickly as he could. He just wanted to get home. Before he could make his walk back to his townhouse, Jason couldn’t help to notice the inky spot on the road that was across the bus stop. His memory started to jog and wondered how that lady with the crushed minivan was doing. 

Wait, had he seen that minivan before? Consequently, he could feel a slight pain emerge from his foot and once he put two and two together; He remembered. 

During that fateful night, he remembered getting the boot from a ride-share car. Jason couldn’t recall for the life of him why he was removed from the car or how he even was able to summon one in the first place. However, his drunk/electrocuted brain was thinking of Natasha for some reason and with the knowledge Jason gained about what happens when she enters his thoughts… 

He could only recall pieces of the night. Losing one of his nice dress shoes, stumbling in the streets, buildings slowly shrinking around him, and the moment his foot accidentally stepped on a hunk of metal that blared loudly as it was crushed beneath his weight. 

The pain in his foot stung worse and Jason immediately started speed walking down the street. He needed to get home ASAP before he unexpectedly grew again and caused more damage. If only he could repay that woman for her van and make it up to anyone else who was a victim of his carelessness. Though that would be very expensive, and he would have to admit that he was the giant freak that did it. Perhaps these one-time sins from when he didn’t know better could serve as a lesson to Jason to not let himself get carried away. 

That fast paced walking turned into a sprint as he had no faith in his wandering imagination. Thinking back on the bus ride, he realized that could have ended badly as well and Jason mentally scolded himself for putting people in danger. The few people he ran past stared at him and Jason for once didn’t care what they thought. He needed to put himself away at home where he could focus on NOT focusing on those lovingly destructive thoughts. 

He stumbled onto the stairs on his front door and shoved a hand into his pocket, fumbling on grabbing his keys. His two feet tapping anxiously on his welcome mat, and Jason using his other hand to search for the keys as well. Wait- where was his prescription bag!? His gaze darted below him and his head snapped to the bottom of the porch stairs. Jason spotted his nearly spilled out shopping bag on the sidewalk and just as fast as he sprinted there, he quickly shuffled his way down the stairs and nabbed his bag with a swift snatch. Muttering a few quiet ‘oh come ons’ before he managed to shove his key into the front door.

The front door swung open and slammed closed. Jason laid on the other side of the front door, trying to catch what little breath he had. It took the man a couple of deep breaths to find his bearings as his shoulders dropped. Though he did snap back to reality when he felt a comforting presence press on his calf. “Meow.” Jason looked down to see that his orange companion, Oliver, was already complaining about waiting for his dinner. The lovable dope had his tail raised and was rubbing his face into Jason’s pant leg, getting fur stuck on the fabric. “Awh is the little pumpkin hungry?~'' Jason cooed as he bent down and picked up Oliver by the sides to hoist the cat to be cradled into one of his arms, “Sorry I’m late, Daddy’s dealing with reality shattering stuff lately.” Jason walked into his cozy living room and dropped the prescription bag off at the coffee table while his orange fur-baby was meowing complaints. As he made his way to the kitchen, Oliver kept staring at Jason with his one eye and began to purr loudly as he lay comfortably in Jason’s scrawny arm. 

What a strange little creature.

Oliver didn’t stay in Jason’s arm for too long as he jumped off when he saw his food bowl come into view. A cat has his priorities after all. Going through the cabinets Jason started to tell his thoughts to his cat, just like any cat owner would even if the cat had no idea what the heck their owner was talking about. It wasn’t like Oliver could snitch on him or anything. 

“I honestly don’t know what’s happening to me Oliver,” Jason said as he peaked through the cabinets, “I’ve become a ticking time bomb overnight and now I am a threat to society without even meaning to be…” Jason grunted when he didn’t see the cat food in the usual place. 

“Wha- oh goodness I thought I just bought you a palette recently..” Jason spoke as he pushed some cans of soup aside and he tried to rack his brain on where in his house the cat food could be. It was about a week ago he went grocery shopping, and consequently that night had also been board game night with his friends from work. He did pick up some extra snacks for that night and Motor, while annoying he can be, actually offered to help Jason with the heavy groceries. 

He felt his blood run cold. Jason arched his neck up to the high cabinets in his kitchen. While it probably was a stupid idea for a short man like Jason to rent a home which felt like it was specifically made for tall people, it was a really good deal at the time considering he was living in Seattle. Besides, he had managed to live with it this long and had no problems since he had a step stool on hand. Though he had to admit, Motor putting the heavy cat food stack on a high shelf was seriously infuriating. 

Jason sighed and turned to find that step stool buried deep in the pantry. However, his feet stopped half way through the turn as he had a small thought sprout in his mind. What if instead of spending more precious time digging through his pantry to get the step-stool, Jason could just simply put that new side effect to good use. Jason shook his head for a moment, “Oh heavens no-” He mumbled as he took a step towards the pantry, “That’s ridiculous, I wouldn’t want to risk it…” He cleared his throat as he reached his hand over to the pantry door. The hand halted before it could grab the handle and Jason took another glance at the high up cabinet. It had never looked so close yet out of reach… 

“I mean,” Jason spoke towards Oliver, “Just maybe a little bit couldn’t hurt… Now I know about what the cause is..” “Meow.” “Yeah, it could end up being safer than throwing my back out! Smart boy, Oliver.” “Meow.” It has been decided, then. 

He made his way back to below the high up cabinet and stretched out his arms as if he was going to be entered in a weight lifting competition. A long concentrated deep breath came from him as he closed his eyes. Feeling a bit anxious from this but, if he only thought of her for a moment then it should only be a few inches right? “Alright Oliver, keep your distance.” Jason said as pushed up his glasses and wondered what he should specifically think about. Obviously nothing too intense, probably? He actually wasn’t sure when the point of no return was. His hands came together and made them hold each other. Maybe just the thought of holding her wonderfully soft palms might do the trick-- 

BANG

CRASH

“HISSSS! ROWWEEERRRR!”

CLANK

“AGGH! BOLLOCKS!!”

[Image Description: Jason grew too tall and ended up slamming his head on the ceiling. This caused him to fall back onto the kitchen island and he got smacked by a pan and is in pain.]

In one brief moment, the kitchen descended into chaos. The height that Jason had desired was passed up very quickly and his head punched itself through the ceiling, causing a huge crack to form. Debris fell and blinded Jason for a moment- causing him to stumble backwards onto the kitchen island. In a different time, it was nice to have a really good cast iron steel set of pots and pans. At the moment however, the back of Jason’s head didn’t appreciate it as he tumbled into them. His back was sprawled across the counter and all he could do was hold the back of his head, seizing in pain.

“Oooowww-” The now 10 foot tall Jason moaned, “How... have I not gotten brain damage?…” He opened his eyes to a horrifying sight, not at his ceiling being caved in nor his expensive cooking equipment being scattered everywhere; but the sight of his poor fluffed up baby boy huddling in the corner and hiding his scared face behind his puffed up tail.

“Oh… oh no pumpkin I’m so sorry...” Jason cooed, feeling like an absolutely disgusting human being, “I-I didn’t mean to scare you, It’s still me Oliver…” Jason managed to flop himself over so he could lay on this stomach comfortably. He reached out a large hand to Oliver, who at first backed up from the offered hand. The man’s heart dropped from seeing this and expected Oliver to sprint towards the bedroom to hide from the big scary monster that invaded his home. 

Instead, Oliver slowly raised his head from his tail and stared at the hand with his good eye. His nose reached over to Jason’s huge fingers and gave them a couple of small sniffs. From this new perspective Jason gained, Oliver could have been mistaken as a kitten on how small he looked. This almost made Jason’s heart soar with glee as he’d never got the chance to meet Oliver when he was a baby cat, but what really brought him glee was when Oliver rubbed his fuzzy head into Jason’s palm and let himself be wrapped by his owner’s large fingers for scratches. Tears of happiness covered Jason’s knocked askew glasses.

Forgiveness was granted. 

----

After giving Oliver double the serving that he usually had for dinner, Jason crawled through his own home to get to the bathroom. The hallways of the townhouse had become more like service tunnels as he had to duck throughout the home. While he was careful to not smack his head on any light fixtures, his feet were having a hard time adjusting to the new walkway. The pain in the back of his skull was still stinging slightly from the incident so he used his free hand to massage it while the other large hand traced the walls and grabbed onto the door frame that entered the bathroom.  

“Ugh, the new pain meds are comin’ in handy today..” Jason mumbled before he looked up at the mirror, “AH!!-- Oh… oh.” 

He yelped for a brief moment before realizing that the bathroom mirror had only reflected himself. However, he almost didn’t realize it was him due to the fact he was now completely covering the doorway and he was crouching to be able to get inside the bathroom. 

Watching his reflection, Jason's emotions morphed from surprise to a tinge of sadness. It dawned on him why his coworkers had initially been apprehensive around him. With a resigned sigh, he maneuvered into the bathroom, barely leaving any space to spare. He chuckled at the thought that he had once considered this compact bathroom relatively spacious for townhouse living. Without further ado, he removed his glasses to splash water on his face.

“...Wha- Wait what!? Are you kidding me!? Noooo,” Jason spoke out of disbelief as his glasses suddenly shrunk right as they left his face, “How the hell?...” 

Try as he might, he couldn’t put them back on his face as they just simply wouldn’t fit. Jason couldn’t exactly get himself to fit the glasses either as the pain in the back of his head made it near impossible to concentrate. 

“Oh, that’s just great…” Jason said sarcastically as he placed his glasses on the bathroom counter, “That’s how it’s going to be then.” He rubbed the arch of his nose before gingerly turning the faucet on. Splashing cool water on his face did make him feel a little bit more grounded despite the weirdness. He patted his face dry with a teal bath towel before eyeing his sweater vest and polo. 

“I guess I’m not expecting visitors or going out like this…” He mumbled to himself as he grabbed the bottom of his polo and started to pull it over his head, “But I’ll leave the trousers on for now- Ugh!” Jason grunted as he was having a bit of trouble trying to get his upper wear over his shoulders. His elbows had hit the ceiling and the lack of space made it hard to yank the polo combo off. Undeterred, Jason persisted, shifting and shimmying until he successfully removed the polo shirt. 

Jason held onto the clothing and was rather stunned as he saw that it too, had shrunk back down to his normal clothing size. This brought on more questions from Jason; Why did his clothing shrink back to normal when he took them off? Does anything in his pockets change size too? How is his clothing growing along with him and not getting ripped to shreds?

Jason shivered, perhaps he should just be grateful that he gets to remain fully clothed as the alternative would be a whole new set of problems to deal with. 

He tossed his clothes into the hamper to put an end to those thoughts and looked back at the mirror. His large hands nearly eclipsed the bathroom counter as he gingerly placed his palms on it. His eyes traced the scrawny ribs and various fresh bruises that marked the kitchen incident. An uncanny feeling was raised from within as it felt like a crime against nature itself for a body type like his to be able to fill an entire room.  

Spotting the end of the lighting scar on his shoulder, Jason reached out his fingers to touch it and turned a little bit to get a better look at the wound. The appearance of this scar shocked him as he hadn't felt pain from it till days after the incident. His muscles tensed up from touching the scarring and he pulled away to just stare at it. While getting a Lichtenberg figure from a lightning strike wasn’t uncommon, what was strange about this scar was that the entry point looked shaped like a cartoon heart. Probably a silly coincidence or a mocking branding. 

Coming to terms with his condition felt impossible, it wasn’t like anyone else in the whole world that could relate to him. He could no longer stare at the freak in the mirror and hung his head low, thoughts wondering if this meant he could never truly find happiness in a relationship. While he didn’t want to be in a relationship, now it was as if he no longer had any say in the matter. Tightness built up in his chest; what did this all even mean and why him? Perhaps he was being selfish for falling hard for someone who could be fired and have her life ruined if he’d dared to act on his feelings. 

“Meow.”

“Oliver? Oh bloody hell I left the door open didn’t I?”

“Meow!”

His eyes squinted to try to make out the fluffy orange blob that passed under his legs and was rubbing his ankle dramatically. The flick of Oliver’s tail made Jason’s frown curl into an appreciative grin. Oliver’s paw twitched a little bit from the unexpected puddle on the floor, Jason looked back up in the mirror and realized his face was completely wet with tears. 

“I-I’m sorry for crying like a big baby Oliver, That’s very unbecoming of me…”

“Meowwwwww.”

Jason reached down gingerly to hoist the fluffy noise box off of the tile and into his arms. Oliver squirmed a little as Jason tried to find a comfortable position for his fuzzy son due to his arms being much longer. It only took a few seconds to adjust and Oliver was once again cradled like a newborn comfortably. 

“Oh my gosh Pumpkin you’re so tiny~”

Jason sniffled as he used one finger to lightly pet Oliver’s fluffy tummy as he turned away from the mirror. Truthfully, It was awkward trying to shuffle out of the bathroom with a bundle that demanded attention. The kitty’s insistence was a little bit annoying, but the annoyance was overpowered by how Oliver wields his cuteness to his advantage. 

While it took a minute to navigate his home, he managed to get to his living room. Thankfully the ceiling was raised considerably, so he didn’t need to stress his back anymore. Getting to his usually comfy leather couch, Jason ever so carefully lowered himself down. The squeals from the wooden legs made him flinch and held onto Oliver for support. When he managed to sit completely down onto the couch, he sighed in relief that it didn't give way. Looking around his living room, he started to notice the fragile photographs that adorned the walls, the expensive television across from him, and plenty of breakable items that are precious to him. More things he could quite easily destroy without meaning to. 

He’d let go of Oliver and the orange fluff cloud pranced onto the low coffee table, sitting down regally with his tail covering his front paws. “Well,” Jason said, leaning down to his right and attempting to make himself comfortable on his ‘new’ loveseat sized couch, “I think it’s about time to reorganize the place, just to be on the safe side.”

The couch creaked in protest, as Jason laid his back to toe cushion and his neck cradled haphazardly on the arm rest. His long legs found it uncomfortable to curl up on the couch, so they stretched out over the opposite armrest, and the soles of his feet rested on the floor. Finally, he had managed to find some comfort in this new body of his.

He took a deep breath and- SNAP

Oliver leaped off the coffee table in response to the loud noise, caused by the couch's plywood giving way under the weight it was never meant to bear. Although it startled Jason for a moment, his body sank back onto the broken couch with a disappointed sigh. What else was new?

------

A Ravine [ Dream II ]

She was farther than ever before;

Across the Ravine.

Upon looking down, 

He couldn’t comprehend the unseen.

Before he could plead,

His chest burned.

No fear, no regrets

He took the leap.

The blue moon loomed

Claws dragged his ankles down,

Before he could cross;

Abyss cemented his doom.

Down he fell into the ravine;

Knowing he will never be seen.

Darkness consumed all,Lost forever within the Ravine.

------

It wasn’t a recent development for Ellie’s hatred of college level essays about the unclean parts about mental health. Though she didn’t like writing essays in general, she really had to double her effort from having to research grotesque subject matter. While it was necessary for her future career, damn if it wasn’t a mood killer. The blank document’s cursor flickers in mockery at Ellie as she sat on top of her bed sheets. Curled up with a nice warm cup of matcha on the side and held a firm grip on the sticker covered laptop on her lap. Sadly, she couldn’t use her love birds as an excuse to procrastinate as they were in the middle of their mid day cuddle nap. Ellie rubbed her nose in frustration, her mind pulling out blanks for an introduction for a tricky subject such as this.

After another embarrassing date going south, she wasn’t in the mood to chat up potential bachelorettes either. This left her with just herself, and the doomed assignment. 

Usually when she found herself stuck on inspiration for stuff like this, she’d head over to her best friend that was conveniently next door for guidance since he’d always had a knack for essay writing. Unfortunately, he wasn’t available and hasn’t been for a week. Ellie missed the days where they’d open their bedroom windows to chat nonchalantly about their weekend or gossip about their coworkers. It was one of the reasons why they rented these townhouses as they could stay in touch and get sweet discounts. However, every time Ellie peaked through her bedroom window to check to see if Jason was there, his curtains had remained closed. Ellie did think about heading over there herself to check if he was okay, though her deep rooted fear held her from going. It wasn’t like she was scared of Jason necessarily. What monster would be afraid of their best friend suffering from an unknown sickness? On the other hand, her sleep had been tormented with imagery of being unknowingly squashed under a heel and feeling like a helpless bug in an uncaring universe.

This part of herself she knew, long before this mess. A deep sinking feeling of panic brewed when she passed by unthinkably tall buildings and passed on Motor’s movie night ideas. If she could diagnose herself, she'd guess it was a classic case of megalophobia. That fear was usually unfounded and didn’t affect her life day to day usually so she wasn’t that upset about it. Until now. While she did manage to push through it during their experiments in the forest for her friend’s sake, she did have to binge through videos of kitten fostering videos to cope through the tears.

Ellie noticed that she was gripping the sides of her laptop and biting her tongue as her stress boiled over. Her laptop was pushed onto her bed and she rose from her sheets with a determination filled with obligation. She rushed to her drawers and got dressed into her usual autumn weekend outfit.

Her heart couldn’t take the communication break down anymore. Ellie needed to make sure Jason was alright and the thought of abandoning her friend when he needed her most made her feel like a disgusting coward. 

Ellie snatched her keys and rushed by her chirping lovebirds as she made her way to the front door. Once she shuffled down the front steps, her gaze turned to Jason’s front door. At first she couldn’t find the strength to move her feet, the mere thought of what could be happening in there made her blood run cold. Though it was too late to bail now. 

With one last look at her front door, Ellie sighed and her heavy feet walked up to the front door of Jason’s home and she knocked her fist on the door. Ellie’s shoulders jumped when she heard a dramatic thud coming from within the home. Her concern only grew from there as the noise was followed with a few scraping noises and then silence. 

“Uh, Hey man are y-” Ellie said before the front door suddenly swung open, revealing a normal sized, but uncommonly disheveled Jason with a deceitfully wide grin. 

[Image Description: A very concerned Ellie staring at Jason, who has opened his front door and is leaning on the door frame with a wide guilty grin.]

“Heeeeey Ellie,” Jason said, with fake cheerfulness, “It’s so nice to see you! Man alive, how long has it been?” “Uh, about a week…” Ellie said, trying to peek her head behind Jason, “Wanted to check in on… things.”

Jason shoved his head in the way of Ellie’s eye line while he kept that telling grin on his face. “OH! Things have been just swell! ” Jason paltered.

And as if the universe itself took offense, a shelf crashed to the floor. 

Ellie peered further over Jason’s shoulder and decided to push him aside despite Jason’s protest. To no one’s surprise; everything wasn’t swell in Jason’s abode. Bits of the ceiling fluttered onto the carpet and the cardboard boxes that had been hastily taped up. Once Ellie looked up, she could see multiple sized dents in the ceiling with a few expensive looking holes.

“Jason…” Elllie gasped, turning to look at Jason who at this point was hiding his face with his fingers. “I know…” Jason groaned, “the landlord is going to bloody kill me.”

Ellie gestured her hands towards the disaster in his house, “You did all of this in a week!?” Her voice raised, more so out of concern than disbelief. Jason kept his head low and moved past her into his ruined living room in shame as he laid a hand on one of the boxes. “Getting used to this disease has been harder than I anticipated…” Jason confessed, “I’ve been putting everything breakable away and haven’t left the house for days.” At this point he had completely dropped the act, his face darkened in shame. 

“Oh gods…” Ellie said as she reached a hand out to Jason’s shoulder to comfort him. Though right before she could, she heard a familiar yowl come from the couch. Her attention was shattered and she cooed at Oliver, who was trying to take a needed nap and was rudely woken up by the commotion. Ellie bee-lined towards the couch and scooped up the orange fluff ball into her arms. 

“Right, that’s why you came over,” Jason said with snark as he approached the two. 

“Nooo, I did come over to see how you were doing,” Ellie said as she bounced Oliver like a newborn, “But I mean, come on look at him!” She hoisted Oliver up in her arms and the look in his eye showed that there was truly a void of nothing behind it. 

Jason couldn’t wallow forever and acquiesced with a chuckle. He petted the top of Oliver’s head and kept his eyes on his little furry friend as he spoke to Ellie. “He somehow still loves me after all of this mess, ” Jason said, “Though I’m not sure how long I can control myself to keep him safe.” 

An awkward silence filled the room after that. Ellie sighed as she looked at her dissonant friend and she gave herself a moment to ponder the situation. She took note of the crater’s in the ceiling and the clearly evident eye bags below Jason’s eyes. “How much sleep are you getting?” Ellie asked as she set Oliver free. The cat pranced out of Ellie’s arm and onto the back of the broken couch. Jason sighed as he put a hand on his forehead in foggy thought. “None,” Jason complained, “I’ve been having a lot of dreadful nightmares and I’m afraid I’ll wake up to find myself homeless.” 

Ellie anxiously tapped the broken remains of his couch and took a deep breath. She gave a comforting gaze to Jason despite her own comfort. “Why don’t you come over to my place?” Ellie suggested, “We can try to do research on this thing, just like what we used to do in college.” She put a firm hand on Jason’s shoulder as he recoiled in shock. Before his stuttering could refuse, his head shook vehemently and he tried to pull away. “Wh-what!?” Jason exclaimed, “N-no! No, that's a terrible idea! Do you want me to get you in trouble with the landlord too!?” Ellie thought to argue that. “Look around, You’ve been isolated for way too long and it’s gonna drive you nuts!” Ellie said as she gestured her hand to the disastrous state of Jason’s living room, “Besides, I know that you’re gonna be extra careful if the house isn’t yours, you’re too considerate.” Jason folded his arms. It was very rare that he was unsure of his friend’s judgment, though at the moment, his doubts were plenty. “It’s dangerous,” Jason said, “I’m not keeping myself locked in my house for no reason Ellie.” He pushed Ellie’s hand away grimly and stared at the floor longingly. 

Well, Ellie didn’t care for that one bit. She took it upon herself to scoop up Oliver, who chipped in surprise,  from the couch and marched towards the door. “In that case, I’m sure Oliver would love to study with me to find out how to cure your stubborn butt.” Ellie said while she headed straight towards the front door with a sly grin on her face. “Wait- WAIT ELLIE,” Jason called after her and clumsily followed her trail like a helpless puppy, “You can’t just take my cat! Hey- ELLIE! HOLD JUST A SECOND-!!” 

------

If one were forced to think of one word to describe Ellie’s living room, it could very well be ‘serene’. The place definitely looked lived in, but it was a very clean mess of psychology textbooks on the handed-down oak coffee table, that had been gifted to her by her mothers. Pots were placed around the room that cradled many different types of plant life, and in one corner, Ellie's cassette collection laid haphazardly near her vintage boombox. Despite the apparent disorganization, she never had trouble locating any mix-tape in that pile. Music selection was not a frequent problem, though, as her two very vocal love birds' cage occupied a central position in the living room.

Jason had been sitting quite uncomfortably on her bequeathed bargain couch, though not due to the lack of support from the couch, but because he was essentially held hostage there. His traitorous kitty decided he wanted to spend time with auntie Ellie after being catnapped. He crossed his arms pouting, trying to ignore the smug look she had on her face as she entered the kitchen. “Whatcha want to drink?” Ellie asked.

“Earl grey,” Jason said, “Also you’re evil.” “I know,” Ellie playfully replied as she disappeared through the doorway. 

As much as he wanted to right then, Jason couldn’t seethe forever and eventually released the breath he was holding. He knew she was just trying to help but he was more scared than angry at her insistence. His gaze checked around the room for anything potentially breakable and expensive. By the end of the first week of being a circus freak, he’d picked up a new awareness of how fragile things can be and how much of a hassle it would be to replace them. Jason stood up from the couch, not wanting to dwell on how much money he was already losing, and made his way over to the pair of love birds. 

“Ah! Hello Mango and Papaya,” Jason greeted them as he leaned over to the cage,  “Oliver is in the guest room right now so you two can stretch your wings, yeah?” Mango squealed in agreement as the door to the cage was opened and she hopped excitedly onto Jason’s hand. Papaya decided to stay cautious and only peaked her head out to check on Mango’s well-being. Mango had always been the more approachable one out of the couple. Jason’s thumb scratched the love bird’s neck and ruffled her head feathers. She leaned her head towards his hand in merriment, as her closed eyes smiled in bliss. For a minute, Jason completely forgot that he was forced to be there against his will. He showered the bird in affection until their wholesome interaction was cut short. 

Despite the desperate neck stretches and opening her beak to show authority, Jason didn’t realize that Paypapa wasn’t going to let her soulmate be taken by some human tart. She thought to rectify this slight and confronted Jason with a hard bite on the fingertip. “Owch! Okay fine I’ll put her down, god-” Jason stammered as he let both birds onto the top of their cage. He rubbed the small bite mark on his finger as he saw his aggressor frantically groom Mango. Despite the pain of being chomped on, Jason chuckled after the fact. “My apologies,” Jason said, “I almost forgot you’re a bonded pair.” While he was not a bird expert, it was obvious that Papaya was just trying to protect her sweet girlfriend.  How romantic.

Only for a moment Jason got lost in thought, unaware of his surroundings as his mind was swooned by the very idea of soulmates and his longing desire to have one for himself. To be honest, he did feel a tad jealous these birds have a better love life than he ever will. The train of thought crashed as he heard a loud gasp, tea being spilled and the feeling of the ceiling pushing down on his head. 

“Oh gods, J-JASON!” Ellie stuttered, trying to regain her composure from nearly suffering from a heart attack by the sight of a giant suddenly appearing in her house.  Panic flooded onto Jason’s face as he realized he wasn’t as careful as he thought he was. “I-I’m sorry!” Jason begged as he tried to crouch down, trying to make him seem smaller in vain, “I’ll try not to break anything on the way out.” Before he could start crawling towards the front door in a fit of panic, Ellie rushed to set the un-spilled mug of earl gray onto her coffee table and approached him. “Wait!” Ellie said, with her phobia and compassion at war with each other, “You don’t have to go! It’s fine, I swear!”  

Jason halted and looked at her in disbelief. While he wasn’t the best at reading people like Ellie was, even he could tell that Ellie was terrified of him and was just trying to be polite. “I know you’re scared of me,” Jason said bluntly, “My feelings aren’t hurt, I’ll just take my leave.” 

A harsh tug on the bottom of his t-shirt stopped him from turning around. He looked over to see that Ellie is gripping the fabric as if she was able to actually keep the man the size of a Honda from escaping. Though that sad desperate look in her eyes may as well have bolted him to the floor.

"No! I might be scared, but I'm even more terrified for your well-being!" Ellie argued, “No matter what horrifying thing you turn into; Giant, cockroach, hell, a giant cockroach! I’m still not going to abandon you!” Jason sighed heavily and before he could even begin to formulate an argument, Ellie cuffed her full hands together. “Please let me help you,” she pleaded, “you don’t have to deal with this alone.”

Jason felt this stomach tie up in knots. He’d already felt guilty for being a terrible house guest, but he couldn’t just say no to her insistence. Jason stared at the floor in shame as he admitted defeat. “Fine,” Jason said, “I’ll stay.” 

Ellie smiled, releasing her shaking hands and turned to pick up the spilled tea mug off of the floor. “We’ll figure it out,” Ellie said, “Besides, what kind of a cat dad leaves their precious baby behind?~” Jason groaned, “Don’t push it.”

----

This impromptu study session really did bring back those college freshman memories when Ellie and Jason had to cram for exams. However, the tension wasn’t being built by a demanding deadline. Ellie felt the stress when she peaked over her laptop and saw the gargantuan man sitting next to her couch trying to gently sip the tiny mug in his massive hands. His fingers fidgeted around the mug's handle uncomfortably. He also kept hesitantly pulling the cup towards his lips but, whenever it got near his mouth, he pulled away reluctantly. Watching this constant backpedaling was starting to be unbearable to watch. “Dude, I can make you tea in a mixing bowl,” Ellie commented, glancing over to see Jason’s grimacing face being offended by the mere suggestion.

“What? No,” Jason said as he tried to ‘properly’ hold his mug, “I don’t need to feel anymore out of place than I already am.” He uncomfortably shifted as he glanced down at his remarkably large hands that nearly enveloped the little mug. Ellie rolled her eyes, sharing that same gaze to his mug. “Getting accommodated doesn’t make you weird,” Ellie said, taking a sip herself before turning her attention back to her internet browser, which had several open Wikipedia tabs. They’d been looking at a variety of human body size disorders that could fit the bill. None of them helped in the slightest, since it seemed like Jason’s condition was anything but normal for a human. Ellie started to mass-close all of those useless tabs as Jason sighed in defeat and sat the mug onto the coffee table gingerly. 

“I don’t even know why we’re bothering trying to search this… thing on the internet,” Jason said, folding his arms, “It’s not like some other poor sod could be going through the same deal, and if we do find something, it’d be some weirdo’s fantasy writing.”

Ellie thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. “Myths! We can look at legends around the globe for answers,” Ellie said excitedly as she started to type search terms in the browser bar. “Why myths?,” Jason asked, “Shouldn’t we be looking for, you know, factual evidence?” “There’s a nugget of truth in a lot of cultural tales,” Ellie explained as she pulled up more web pages filled with different stories concerning giants, “Maybe one of them is actually true.” “You’re sounding an awful lot like Motor,” Jason said as he pushed himself a tad closer to Ellie and arched his neck so he could get a look at the kind of ridiculous stuff she was searching for. The listings had notable large figures such as the treacherous Gogmagog to the vastness of the Daidarabotchi, though many of these listings seemed to pull up gods or malevolent creatures. Jason was sure he was definitely not either of those things.

Probably.

While Ellie may have been on the right track, Jason couldn’t see how any of these beings and monsters had any relation to him. Though it was getting hard to read her laptop screen as she kept tabbing through websites at top speed. While this made Ellie great at procrastinating and getting away with it in her college classes, Jason wanted to research too.

A brief flicker of recognition flashed registered in Jason’s brain as he spotted golden fur for a split second through Ellie’s browsing. Quickly Jason leaned over her and without thinking, slammed his hand next to hers. “Hold on! Can you… Ellie?” Jason attempted to ask before he realized that Ellie’s body froze suddenly. The only thing that was moving was her shivering hand. It felt like her entire soul left her chest and seeing a huge hand that could have weighed more than a brick nearly missed hitting her frail fingers. Ellie’s neck craned slowly tilted her head upwards hesitantly to be met with Jason’s wide chest. Ellie was rendered speechless and Jason eventually picked up on that. He lurked away from her, sputtering apologizes as he proceeded to sit on his hands. “I’m so sorry I-I didn’t think about- I’ll keep myself right here,” Jason nervously trembled as he watched Ellie let go of a sigh of relief she herself didn’t realize she was holding.

“Warn me next time will ya? Geeze,” Ellie said as she tried to regain her composure and sense of safety, “could’ve lost my writing hand.” Compulsively, Ellie rubbed her wrist as she kept her eyes off of Jason for the time being. For now, she pushed down that icky feeling of distress and flicked through some of the back pages silently to see what Jason nearly broke her hand for.

“...It’s uh- … the golden dog I think,” Jason muttered with his gaze glued to the floor, “It looked familiar.” After a quiet moment that felt like ages, Ellie finally spoke up again after taking a swig of her tea.

“The Golden Beast,” Ellie began to read out loud, “A phenomenon seen around the world of a large golden canine that is very elusive, but it is said to be a symbol of great change and good harvest.”

Jason waited for a moment to listen intently to Ellie’s lecture, but nothing else came. “... and?” Jason asked, though he got his answer when Ellie shrugged with a disappointed look. “That’s it, not much information written down here,” Ellie responded as she went ahead to search for the term elsewhere on the internet. Both of them would be lying if they said they weren’t disappointed, especially Jason. 

“I swear I’ve seen something that looked similar but,” He commented as he easily finished off his tea with a single sip, “I just can’t seem to recall anything.” He sat the mug down and watched Ellie peruse through a few websites, but in the end didn’t seem to find much else about the mysterious beast. 

“Another brick wall… bummer,” Ellie said as she stretched her arms outward, making sure her wrists weren’t getting sore. Her bones cracked as she rolled her shoulder, she had attempted to loosen up and let go of the pent up anxiety she had plenty of. In her peripheral vision she could see Jason reaching his head to the side to look hopelessly at Ellie’s laptop without having to get too close to her. 

“There really is nothing that can help me is there?” Jason said as he slumped, “Figures.” The two of them sat in silence for a while, unsure of what they could possibly do next or even find a trail to follow for the answers to their building questions. Ellie even half-mindly scrolled through news sites for anything unusual happenings. Though other than a couple of strange meteoroids being found around the globe, it was all mostly just news of politicians lying, groan worthy e-celebrity drama and a heartwarming story of a local pit bull named Twinkles saving a bus full of deaf school children from falling into the Vancouver River.

Ellie took a deep breath, “Jason I’m sorry I can’t…” Before Ellie could properly apologize to him, she noticed that Jason had a few visitors perched on the top of his head that were tugging tufts of his hair. Though he didn’t seem to notice it himself until he saw the despair disappear from Ellie’s face and she started to chuckle. She couldn’t keep a straight face for even a second. 

[Image Description: Mango and Papaya are playing in Jason’s hair and Ellie is just sitting there. LAUGHING. ]

“Hey, what are you two doing!?” Jason exclaimed, trying to gently shoo away the uninvited guests. The birds of course, did not even acknowledge Jason’s attempts to evict them. Papaya just tugged at tufts of his hair to see if she could make a nest and Mango naively rolled around in the strange grass they discovered. If he had just been a little more stern, he could have negotiated with Mango and Papaya to retreat. However, Jason’s hesitant hands and soft voice made it clear that he wasn’t going to risk being slightly rough with Ellie’s pets.

“Uh- a little help please?” Jason asked as he turned his awkward gaze back to Ellie. She stood up from the couch, and from there, she had to hold on a second to take in how large her friend had become. Her mind could still barely comprehend a giant human being real and be sitting in her house. However, that pleading look in his eyes that paired with his helplessness from the invasion of her birds made one thing very clear: Despite her skin crawling, he was still a harmless dork.

And by gods he needed help. “They probably think you’re a tree,” Ellie giggled, feeling confident enough to wave him down closer to her. The giant hesitated, unsure if he really wanted to loom over her like a beastly ogre and give her heart’s well being a run for its money. That thought ended quickly though as Papaya started to nip at the brim of Jason’s glasses. “Oh good grief,” Jason mumbled, rolling his eyes and leaned down towards Ellie’s direction. His shadow engulfed Ellie as he eclipsed the ceiling light to draw closer. The heart in her chest might have exploded in fear when he bowed his head at her. Though upon seeing the little trouble maker’s untroubled play in his hair, Ellie’s shaking ceased. Perhaps, there wasn’t anything for her to worry about after all. Ellie reached her hands out to coerce her babies onto her shoulder and pushed aside tufts of hair to get to them. Though she froze when she felt a huge sigh brush against her legs. “I don’t know what to do,” Jason groaned, “no one in the world is going to know how to help me, never mind fix me.” His fingers halfheartedly fiddled with his socks, not really giving Ellie’s fiddling with his hair much mind. Ellie frowned, placing her birds onto her shoulder and gave the crown of Jason’s head a few pats. “Thanks,” Jason said. “No problem…” Ellie responded, though she did pause for a moment to contemplate a suggestion that Jason probably wasn’t going to like very much.  “You know, ” Ellie continued, “there is someone who knows a lot about giants and he already knows about this curse.” “No way,” Jason objected, raising his head up to look Ellie in the face. She stepped back in a panic, trying to not be in the path of his drastic head swing. “Wait- hear me out,” Ellie pleaded, “Motor might be a bit… eccentric, but he might be our only available expert on how to handle yourself when you’re like- big.”

“He’s not a professional Ellie, he's a nerd,” Jason said, folding his arms indignant, “all he’d be able to teach me would be how to level a hospital.” Jason kept coming up with complaints while he watched her carry her birds back to their cage. Though most of those unwarranted complaints went through one ear and out the other. “And he’s just not all that bright honestly, how could I trust that ido… ” Jason’s rant was cut short by the daggers Ellie was staring at him, “My bad.” He learned to shut his mouth and sat there with gripped hands on his knees. “I know you two aren’t always on the best of terms,” Ellie said, “but he wants to help you and might be your only option for insight.”

The very idea of Jason having to grovel to Motor for help was already humiliating enough, but reaching out to him about this life threatening disease? Jason would almost rather stay indoors for the rest of his life. Realistically however, it would be only a matter of time before he hurts someone or destroys his house. Unfortunately it would seem like getting help from Motor was going to be his only option even if it was going to be an agonizing experience. 

“Augh, Alright then if I don’t have a choice,” Jason said with a defeated sigh, “can’t help to feel that this is going to be a big mistake.”

Ellie closed the bird cage behind her, “Come on man,” she said as she walked back to Jason with a smile on her face, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“Something terrible I reckon,” Jason responded, his fingers gripping his knees with another long sigh, “Also uh, can you help me shrink back to normal please?”

-----

Nothing happens in Stanley, Idaho. Well, that’s how one particular citizen would like to keep it. 

This unassuming older woman stepped out of her lifted jeep with little effort and made her way inside the tea shop. A subtle exchange of knowing nods were exchanged between her and the front store worker as she walked past the meticulously put together display of various tea leaves. Upon reaching the elevator in the back of the shop, she proceeded to press the following buttons: Lobby, 1, 9, 8, 7, and pound. The elevator closed, and took her below the ground floor, which shouldn’t be possible for a two-story building. 

As the elevator took its sweet time, she glanced down at her Hamilton military watch and gripped onto her steaming hot americano in her other hand. Seeing the watch read ‘5:00am’ made her groan with distaste. It was way too early for her to be up at her age. Duty calls, however, and she begrudgingly accepted.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity for the elevator to stop on the correct floor, she stepped out and was greeted by a long metal corridor that was barricaded with several security doors. Unperturbed, the woman walked up to each door, the same song and dance she always put up with to get to her damn office. Fingers to the hand scanners, eyes to the headache inducing retina scanners, and the most embarrassing of all, sticking her tongue out to a DNA analysis to let her through the final door. She had wondered if the engineers thought that last trial was some kind of bad joke. 

Nevertheless, She slogged into the massive intelligence operation room that was filled with the panicked voices of government workers. They have all been responding to all sorts of calls for assistance to deal with found anomalies and confused 911 operators. However, the older woman was used to this chaos, and promptly walked past all of the pesky underlings trying to ask her questions. Even if she wanted to answer their queries, she had no idea what was going on or what she was called in for during her vacation. 

Once she got to her office, she took off her windbreaker coat and wearily donned her standard issue FAIRA director’s coat. Before she headed to her desk, her hand shuffled through her windbreaker coat’s pocket and pulled out an opened box of cigarettes. Today was going to be difficult, why else would her superiors spring a surprise call-in on her? It didn’t take long for her to sit down at her desk and log her passwords into the computer with the help of her countless post it notes. The video call did not take its time either, ringing the moment her desktop loaded. She rolled her eyes and answered. 

“Witch reporting in, receiving you loud and clear Eagle,” the director spoke before she heard the ear-grating voice come from the other end. 

“EEEY BLAIR! How’s it goin’ grandma?”

“Sir, we have discussed this, we need to use our code names, also do not refer to me as grandma ever again.”

“OOOOH YEEEAAAH… I forgot.”

“Of course, sir. Anyway, was there any godforsaken reason why I was pulled from my vacation?”

“Calm down grandma! This is your crop and you gotta be the cream of it, ya hear?”

“Just get to the point.” “Aye soooo, we got a situation brewin’ up in the lil’ Washington, oooh yeah. You gotta take care of this ASAP. Ya see, they found these shiny rocks fallin’ out of the sky and it looks like your ring, if you catch my drift.”

“Right, so why isn’t NASA leading this operation?” “HMmmmmm uh, remember those budget cuts?” “I see.” “And while I love my guys in camo, they ain’t got the brain cells like your eggheads do, ooohh nooo.” “Fine, I’ll dispatch my team in the pacific northwest immediately-” “Oh no sister! You’re goin’ to pack your bags too!” “What!? Why?” “Cuz I noticed yer always sitting on your ass in that chair for years and I think you’re forgettin’ what it’s like to be one of your men, grandma.”

“My way of running things does not hold any relevance to the situation and for the last time; stop calling me grandma. I have a codename, Eagle, use it. ”

“It does more than you think chica, with somethin’ this big, I don’t think you should skimp on it. Plus, it’s the big Eagle’s orders so ya got no choice ya hear me?” She groaned, “…Understood sir.”

[1moreff-creator]

DR: One Shot - Prologue First Impressions

Everyone cheer!!! Danganronpa One Shot’s prologue just released {go read it if you haven't it's awesome}, so I figured I'd record my first impressions the same way I did with DRDT CH2 PT2! As usual with this kind of post, don’t expect anything too cohesive or any impressive insight or whatever, these are just my silly thoughts on something I’m very excited about. I also don’t know how this is gonna go with a written format but, uh… we’ll find out!

CW: Thankfully DROS has its own cw system, here's the ones for the prologue :)

Ante Up, huh? Really like that title :D

“Maybe I finally exude enough of a VIP aura that the security guards just left me alone!” I love this protag’s attitude immediately, I’ve been really intrigued by Ellis’ vibe for an entire week by now and I’m already loving it!

“Ellis: Clearly, I’m in heaven, if I’m lookin’ at you~” FIRST. LINE. Goddamn Ellis does not beat around the bush.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?” Watch this idea be one of the main themes of One Shot. I doubt it for now but it’d be funny.

“...we see a robot walk into the room. It’s a strange, spindly metal humanoid, almost like a mannequin. Its movements are stilted, seemingly only able to bend at key points in its design.” Damn that’s a creepy ass mascot design actually, awesome.

Monoquin is an awesome name, I love it. Also I wonder who had to be dragged to the room, Eight or Fifteen by the color?

“[Brown]: “Monoquin,” huh? And how’d you get us here? You must have some kind of establishment behind you.” Hi Six, you’re doing great sweety. Also the names are lining up with my predictions so far, right? Just Long and Rey so far, but…

Young too actually, I might have cooked.

“Ellis: Wow, so we’re all special? I was worried it was just me.

???: An Ultimate? Me…?” Ellis I love you and Five’s not beating the “blank slate” allegations so far lol.

Listen, I didn’t want to bring attention to it earlier, but if you’re gonna call them “Mx Ho” I have to point out how objectively funny that name is. Also I think this also lines up with the name guesses, which I’ll stop pointing out now unless it’s contradicted. 

“Hope’s Oasis Resort and Casino.” A casino and resort, huh… Really interesting setting, very unique! Also Fifteen and Fourteen are gonna catch all the MM allegations unless this series doesn’t do an in-class MM lol. {This was said with my original talent predictions in mind lol}

“[Grey]: Modeled after a school in Japan, right as the apocalypse begins in Japan?

[Orange]: We don’t… know it’s an apocalypse. That seems a little dramatic, right?” … Oh. Oh. This is happening concurrently to the start of the Tragedy? The setting gets more interesting by the second.

“There is no way that my talent can be something as boring as the “Ultimate Lucky Student.”” I love Ellis x3. Also got the talent right! Even though I feel everyone and their mothers could have called it. Though I wanna note one of the possible talents they came up with is “Ultimate Champion,” which suggests they’ve probably won… something with their luck? We’ll see.

“Ultimate Moneymaker! The Ultimate Stock Market King! The Ultimate Investing Intellect!” I’m reading this one how am I still so bad about writing reactions right before shit gets explained? But yeah, stocks! That raises the question of whether Ellis even realizes they’re capital L Lucky or not, which is interesting.

By the way, I like the sprites, they’re very charming :)

“...even if we are debatably trapped here with a creepy living mannequin, there are still lots of cuties here.” Forget Ten being the Ultimate Romantic, Ellis is the Ultimate Flirt damn-

“[Light blue]: Cool! My name is Robert Smith, he/him, and, uh… it’s a little embarrassing, but… My “talent” is that I’m the Ultimate Normie.” YOOO! That’s hilarious actually. And I got this right! “Ultimate Regular Person” or something had been my guess, and that’s pretty much what this is! Though “normie” is a hell of a choice lmao.

“… He’s really giving me nothing to work with here.” Ellis is trying so hard it’s hilarious.

"Ellis: Wow… all these beautiful flowers, and yet, you’re the one I can’t take my eyes off of~

I watch their expression deaden for a second, but they take a short breath and quickly replace it with an effortlessly charming smile." 

“Davis: Nice to meet you, Ellis. I’m Davis Love, he/him, and… I guess I’m the Ultimate Bachelor.” Interesting reactions to the flirting, especially given the talent… And while “Romantic” seems way off, I did get the general ballpark of “relationships.”

I don’t want to just copy paste all his dialogue, but Davis is… very interesting so far. Obviously doesn’t like the talent, but pretty confident it’s right… hm… Very curious where this one’s going.

“Kennedy: Monoquin told me that this room rotates from scene to scene every once in a while. Called it a Show Room. But he didn’t tell us why they change it…”

“I’m Kennedy Rey, Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist. Any pronouns.” Someone who makes insane theories from almost non-existent evidence... Holy shit did they put me in the killing game? :O /silly

Anyways, the show room sounds very… strange. Like a good way of setting up interesting murder mysteries, you know. Also Ellis’ comments about handcuffs are… so off the cuff (heh) he’s awesome.

“Kennedy: So they’re modeling Hope’s Peak closely… If you’re the “Ultimate Lucky Student,” despite us not being high schoolers, then they care more about being true to form than accuracy…” That actually is a pretty good point, given Ellis doesn’t seem to be a student- Oh God I’m actually listening to the Conspiracy Theorist. And I’m probably gonna end up listening to her a lot. How low will I fall?

“Vanessa: Well, in that case, I guess I’d say I found something that caught my eye, too.” Finally… someone that matches Ellis’ freak :O 

“I’m Vanessa Bravo, and I’m the Ultimate Announcer! She/her pronouns for me, thanks!” Announcer! Really cool actually!

“Ellis: I’ve always been rather lucky with money. Gambling, knowing what stocks to invest in, finding money lying around… I’m your guy when it comes to making and spending cash. [...] Or a few choice stocks left to me by my dearly departed grandfather.” Backstory pieces already!!!

This does make me wonder how much accirax actually knew about Ellis before the game. I don’t know how roleplaying works :v She’d know everything about Ellis from the start, right? That would be my guess, might send an ask to the av-multifangan account later lol.

“Vanessa: Plus, the way he reveals information is so boring. I could do a way better job. Like, “oh, by the way, you’re Ultimates, like Hope’s Peak.” Where’s the drama? Where’s the delivery?” I always love when Ultimates are so passionate about their Thing :D

“They wear identical black and white attire with a red tie, including masks that cover the lower halves of their faces. Those, too, are split in half with black and white, reminiscent of Monoquin.” Ah, terrifying, cool.

“Taylor: Sorry, I should introduce myself. I’m Taylor Long, they/them pronouns, and I guess this place thinks of me as the Ultimate Impressionist.” Ooh, really cool! Not what I would have guessed but it’s awesome still!

“Ellis: I can see why. You’ve already left quite the impression on me.” How many pick-up lines does accirax have in stock? She’s actually so good at playing a flirty character damn.

“In a single moment, their entire demeanor shifts, becoming much more confident as they wink, pointing a finger gun towards me.

Taylor: “After all, I must be lucky too, to be meeting such a catch~ Everything’s coming up Taylor!” Oh this talent could be fun.

“Monoquin: Ah, they are the staff. They are intended to help the Resort run smoothly, as well as to make your stays here as luxurious as possible. If you have any requests, please don’t hesitate to ask a staff member. They won’t bother you unless you’d like their attention, but I assure you, they’re quite friendly.

Note Obtained: Staff Members” Love the note system, and you know I’m gonna use it! I’ll keep track of them always, don't you worry.

[Three locked doors] Õ_o

“???: I’m Vivian Mitchell, but you can call me Vivi! She/they pronouns. And, I’m the Ultimate Doctor! Or, uh… they call it something else…

Ellis: Ultimate Hot-tor?

Vivi: No… apparently, they think of me as the Ultimate Mad Doctor.” what. 

Okay that’s awesome actually. Really interested in that talent actually.

“Why are there so many batshit insane people here?! Is that what being an “Ultimate” actually means???” Ah, can’t forget the classic realization!

“Ellis: …I won’t be in danger of death any time soon.

Vivi: Of course! No one will be, with me around.” Really interesting confidence, also I don’t know if that’s a death flag or setting up a mental breakdown upon the first death :v

“Vivi: If we can conquer death, we’ll be unstoppable!” Ah so she’s insane insane got it. Vivi’s definitely climbed the rankings of characters I’m curious about, what is her Deal???

“They giggle, then place a hand delicately on my arm.

Antonia: How charming. Tell me, darling, are you here to play~? 

Ellis: Sure am. So, how much are you in for…?

Antonia: Well, considering I’m the dealer, I suppose you’d make the first move.

Ellis: Dealer?

They flourish.

Antonia: The Ultimate Dealer, Antonia Cisneros, at your service. She/her.” Hi Fourteen I’m your biggest fan. I wasn’t expecting Dealer but it’s a really interesting talent regardless! 

[More dialogue] Holy shit she’s matching Ellis’ freak exactly actually. What in the name of card-game-related sexual tension. 

“Antonia: I do believe we’re in Las Vegas. I’ve spent my time in plenty of Casinos, and I know my city when I see it.

Ellis: Hey, you’re from Vegas? Me too! Wow, we have so much in common…” Ooh… I wonder if Antonia’s right? If she is, that’s a crazy call, which I guess is expected of the Ultimate Dealer… call’s a poker term right i have no idea how this works. Also cool that we’re getting even more on Ellis’ background already!

“Aidan: I’m Aidan Ho. I don’t really care about pronouns, so just use he/him, I guess. And, according to a slip of paper I saw this morning, I’m, apparently, the Ultimate Contrarian.” Oh that’s what the Xs were for lol. Interesting title, and also kinda explains the fit, hmmm… 

Also I called Antonia and Aidan being a pair, right? Well they got introduced together at least, so it’s something :v

“Aidan: Think about your actions before following the weird mannequin’s orders mindlessly?” Well I’m certainly seeing the title. Aidan seems peculiar. Another one on the list of intriguing characters. Which is probably gonna be at least sixteen people long lmao.

“???: I’m Paris Hall, and here, you’ll come to know me as the Ultimate Gossip! I use she/her pronouns, if you didn’t already know~” Okay, “spill the tea” that’s what the tea cups were about, that’s hilarious actually xD Would not have guessed this one in a billion years, but it’s really interesting. I can only imagine the kinda shit this one’s gonna get into when investigations happen.

“Paris: Got anyone you’re interested in?

Ellis: Interested how?

Paris: In any way. Ask, and I’m sure I’ll have something I can tell you about them.” Wow she works fast damn. Guess that’s the Ultimate Gossip yeah :p

“As friendly as she seems, I gotta be careful with my words around this one. She could easily turn what she knows about me into some sort of slander campaign, and that would NOT be good for the Ellis Ortiz brand.” I wonder how literally we’re meant to take the “brand” thing :v

“Cass: I’m Cassidy Torres, or Cass for short, she/they. And, here, I guess I’m the Ultimate Agent.” Ooh, cool talent! 

Note Obtained: Customer Service Desk: There are locked rooms with objects that can be requested of staff. Requests are written on a sheet of paper, which include name if delivered to a room, but can be anonymous if delivered to the desk. Free of charge. {This is my own summary btw, not the note that's actually in the e-handbook}

Very cool concept! I can already see how this could play into murders in many ways. Obviously getting items anonymously is interesting, and I could see some kind of crazy way of framing someone by sending something suspicious to their rooms? In any case, this kind of list of information can go insane, reminds me slightly of SDRA2’s immaculate Trial 3. 

A bar? This is Vegas, so USA, so drinking age is 21, yeah? I wonder if that’ll be brought up.

“???: Jeff Breeze, Ultimate Absentee. He/they for me.” What is this talent. Alright so forget what I said about Fifteen being suspicious, only Antonia’s talent seems related to the place so far.

“Jeff: Eh… I don’t really stick around to find out. I go where I want, and when it’s time to leave, I go.” What? This guy’s even more confusing than Greek Letters dude, who hasn’t even shown up yet. Really curious about them though.

“Grace: I have a boyfriend.” Welp. That was fast xD 

“???: I’m Grace Thomas, and I use they/them pronouns. I’ve been dubbed the Ultimate Clockmaker.” CLOCKS!!! Well, I’ve been known to love Clockmakers (beyond occasionally accusing them of murder) so I’m down to see what Grace’s got going on.

“Grace: I don’t think there’s much use in speculation. We should put our efforts where we can for now, and come back to gather what information we can once it’s time.” Logical, I like them :)

“Ellis: Do you… not know your name?

[Nine]: …

They sigh.

[Nine]: I don’t. Or where I’m from, or my Ultimate talent, or… anything. Sorry to disappoint.” :)

Damn even the pronouns are ??? that’s funny.

So going by the fact I’ve gotten every other name right I’m assuming this guy is in fact “Mark dros” from the tags, so they’ll probably come up with the name soon. I’ve said before I’m a sucker for mystery characters, and that hasn’t changed yet!

“Noah: I’m Noah Walker, he/him, and here, I guess I’m the Ultimate Frat Boy!” THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! I did call him being a frat boy, I just wasn’t expecting that to be the talent! Wonder what’s up with the Greek letters then… 

“And I’m Harper Young, ve/ver pronouns. According to this establishment, I qualify to be the Ultimate Philanthropist.” Yeah that’s kinda close to my guesses. I forgot this word existed lol. Cool talents!

“Ellis: Did you just meet now, or did you somehow know each other before you got here?

Harper: We’ve been acquainted in the past, yes.

Noah: My frat hosts charity events and stuff, so sometimes people like Harper would drop in and help us out.” Oh cool! Can’t wait for one of them to die so the other one gets sad! :D

One outfit per student, usual business. Cameras are normal, no V3 shenanigans. Interested in the idea that some people may pick up clothes or accessories from the Desk, though I’m not sure if or how that will really come into effect.

The conversations are so cool! These characters bounce off each other so well, I love them all already :D

“Vanessa: Then, uh… Mark! You’re Mark.

Noah: You mean like… question Mark…?

Vanessa: It works, right?” Genius. Zero notes on this. Just flawless naming convention.

Note Obtained: Monoquin’s Hands: They serve as a master key to all the doors in the building. Ellis wonders if they can ask staff for these hands.

Hmm… That one’s interesting. Really gotta watch whether attacking Monoquin is against the rules or not. I could see this coming into play really late into the game, like CH5-6 late.

{By the way, I don’t know how I missed this the first time around, but sixth installment of the killing game is actually crazy, I wonder how it’ll come up. And I wonder if it’s related or a reference to how many fangans venus and accirax made before this one, since this is in fact their sixth :p - That was written before the Notice that it is not, in fact, related. I did figure it was, if anything, an in-joke more than anything actually plot-relevant, but still, lmao, good catch guys xD}

“Voiceover: The game concludes when there is only one survivor left.” So this is gonna end with the destruction of the killing game probably. Feeling lucky with my guesses, why not?

Wait actually.

Note Obtained: Killing Game Explanation. Standard blackened and spotless rules, the game ends with one survivor. BDA plays when 3 innocents see the body. Motives and cameras exist. This is the sixth installment of the killing game.

That’s kind of a shockingly low amount of rules… Maybe there will be more in a bit hold on.

“But then, what’s my play from here? Do I sacrifice all of these people just to let myself go? Do I try to outlive everyone, to be the last person left standing? There’s no way in hell I’ll just allow myself to become some random victim, a casualty of someone else’s scheme. Or, is there some way to rebel against the system altogether…?

Ellis: … So, is there some kinda prize for winning? Other than our escape, I mean.

Antonia: There must be. If it’s a “game,” there has to be an incentive to win.”

Bro??? Ellis immediately starts considering murder holy shit. And Antonia continues to match her rythm, damn. I was already loving how different Ellis was from other protags so far, but this is making me like them more and more. You know, the usual "the worse and more morally questionable a character becomes the more I'll like them" deal. I’d comment about how my tastes are concerning but I feel like that’s been established on this account lol.

Holy shit we actually have a full e-handbook that’s awesome. I love it I love it I love it- I’ll check it out after finishing the prologue.

I lied I wanted to look at the rules. Most of them are pretty standard, but I wanted to point out a few that interested me.

4: “If the blackened receives at least the plurality of votes, they alone will be executed.” I just like that they used the word “plurality” :)

7: “The blackened may only kill a maximum of two people during any single killing game.” I’m interested in the wording of “any single killing game.” Has someone here participated in more than one killing game? Is there a plan for these people to participate in more than one? I'm looking at Mark, who might be in a bit of a Rantaro situation, but I kinda doubt venus would repeat that plot point lol.

8:”If two victims are killed by two different killers in the same Trial, only the killer whose victim’s body is discovered first is the blackened.” V3 rules if I recall correctly, wonder if it will actually come into effect here.

13: “The destruction and/or theft of another player’s e-Handbook is against the rules.” No theft is actually quite notable.

Additionally, I’m seeing a few interesting things in the “Preferences” section. The fact that you can apparently give other people permission to open your dorm room seems like it could be important, and the chatroom intrigues me quite a bit. The character profiles are also cool to see. I don’t see any immediately obviously important birthday dates, but I’ll note the likes and dislikes. I also see that everyone has a set of six die faces on the top right, except Ellis. I’m assuming that everyone has five free time events (since they start at 1 lit up) and those die are a way of keeping track of how many got done. 

Anyways back to the prologue.

“Robert: Well… that just happened.” Of course. Of course he says that xD

And everyone’s immediately fighting I love it lol. I like the plurality (heh) of approaches here: Kennedy wants the truth, Aidan wants to ignore everything, Grace’s thinking in the police, and Vanessa helps Taylor express the whole “let’s chill for the night and meet for breakfast” idea. 

I love the ending introspective segment for Ellis. Just really awesome stuff overall, and seeing a protagonist that, from the very start, is planning not to get attached to anyone and survive on their own in some way. We know that’s probably not gonna last in the slightest, but it’s still a really cool mindset to explore from a protag’s perspective. 

Overall, as expected, nothing but absolute peak. 

Notes we have so far:

Staff Members

Customer Service Desk

Monoquin's Hands

Killing Game Explanation

(In case it isn't clear, since I'm writing down my reactions, I always have the list of notes under what I'm currently writing in case I need them lol)

-

I can’t believe this is out, it’s so exciting!!! I love this so far. All the characters seem super Silly, which I always love to see. The protagonist is cool and interesting, the format is very fun, the talents are very exciting, the writing in general is immaculate… I can’t wait for more! If I have time, I might write something a bit more in-depth, or I might wait until we have more content before really going insane (<- I say as if I'm not already insane over this lol). In any case, thanks for reading, bye!

[xerith-42]

The second turning point

@cinnamontoastcroonch I hope you're happy.

I've been taking a critical eye to every episode of Minecraft Diaries as I rewatch it. And I mean writing upwards of entire essays about single episodes. As you saw with episode 65. Part of why I've been doing this is to see where things truly went wrong with this show. The early episodes were better than I remembered, but I know for a fact there was an entire falling apart that happened between the utter quality that is an episode like say episode 58, and well... Season 3.

Obviously episode 65 was the turning point, but that was just the inciting incident. All the problems in MCD ultimately come down to the love triangle and how poorly it was handled. And the next major step was in episode 77. Episode 77 is an episode that is mostly spent on minimal character interactions at the wolf tribe after the gang finally gets back there with Logan and everyone else. Aphmau spends most of the episode building a boat, and then getting distracted from building her boat.

Until she decides to go check on the Nether Portal. It's broken, like when she last saw it, but Laurance is standing in front of it. I need to emphasize something. Up until this point, we've gotten very few conversations where Laurance brings up being a Shadow Knight. He usually diverts these conversations, or they get diverted by others, so we've gotten very few personal insights into a Shadow Knights existence. This is one of the first real times that we get a deeper look at how this condition has effected Laurance.

And y'know what? I'm just gonna give you a quote from my video essay on this. A nice little teaser. As a treat :)

His mind has sort of been rewired to put himself before others, even if he’s naturally a very selfless person. Which is a real slap in the face when you remember most Shadow Knights are guards, who are encouraged to be selfless. His heart still loves dearly and he is still the same selfless fool who threw his life away to save Aphmau, but his mind is telling him to be more selfish, take what he wants without regard for others. Laurance is actively fighting these thoughts all the time, but he worries that one day he might give in and… He says he never wants his heart to forget Aphmau, even if his mind tells him otherwise.

This. This hurts me. It's quality Laurance content. It's a great moment of Laurance proving one of his greatest strengths and weaknesses. How emotionally vulnerable he is. It makes him easy to hurt. It means he'll actually express it. He's struggled to talk about being a Shadow Knight, but now he's able to.

Imagine if episode 65 let him see the fear of killing Aphmau before this.

And just as Laurance says that absolutely heartbreaking line, GUESS WHO HAS TO MOSEY HIS SORRY ASS INTO THE ROOM?! Garroth just waltzs in there and interrupts this incredibly private conversation that he just happened to be listening to. Now, I will say, there is a way to justify this that I will accept, but I know without a doubt the writers didn't intend this.

The only way this works is if Garroth is listening to this conversation because he's scared of leaving Aph and Laurance alone in case Laurance decides to just... Kill her. But then he feels bad. But that would probably make him walk away out of guilt.

So yeah this doesn't make sense. For Garroth. At all. Why is he so scared of Laurance and Aphmau literally having one conversation? Well, it's the answer it always is. The love triangle. They've shown before that they are willing to disregard basic logic, only to prove that they know the details of this logic in a later episode. In Episode 65 they disregard Garroth's fears around his family, and then center an entire conversation around it in Episode 68.

But wait, it gets worse. Because Garroth knows for a fact that Aphmau and Laurance having an emotional conversation won't likely lead to any romance.

BECAUSE HE SAW LAURANCE CONFESS TO APHMAU 24 EPISODES AGO AND SAW HER REJECT HIM!!

There were seven weeks in between these episodes!! Idk how long it takes to make an episode of MCD, but I imagine episodes are written in major arcs at a time. How did they forget what happened IN THE LAST MAJOR ARC OF THE SHOW?! Because. Love triangle. Because Jesson don't care about the characters they previously wrote, they care about these characters fulfilling an already existing trope they liked in something before. They don't care how this dynamic might change because of their own characters, just that they go through the motions.

So Garroth interrupts this conversation. Laurance gets snippy and tells Garroth to fess up or else he might "sweep her off her feet first." And that's a red flag for Laurance. Good job writers. And let's be clear, I don't disagree with characters maybe being shitty, as long as it doesn't contradict previous characterization. Like this does.

The writers forgot that Garroth saw Laurance's confession. They forgot that Laurance took rejection on the chin. They forgot that Laurance literally said "I'm just happy to be in your life." Did they forget about Laurance's entire confession?! Do the writers think that went away when he stopped being blind?!

...

Oh fuck... Did... Did Laurance only accept rejection because he didn't think he was good enough to be with her when he was blind? Is that what they're trying to say? I... I really hope that isn't. And yet I wouldn't be surprised. Just completely and utterly disappointed.

That took a turn I didnt like. I don't know how to end this now.

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 21:

I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"You’ll be driving?" Charles voice sounded muffled "From Neuburg to Spielberg?"

"Yeah, it’s not just me, Felix as well. We’ll do a little road trip, maybe we put cameras in the car, conversations between a team principal and his driver." I chuckled a little, searching for my socks in my suitcase.

"I know your road trips. It’s just old music and you singing along. Or Taylor Swift and you singing along." he panted and then I heard a loud bang "Fuck."

"What are you doing? Are you okay?" I asked sitting down on the bed, putting the phone on speaker, laying it next to me, to pull on the socks.

"I’m dressing up. I overslept and now I’m late." Charles said "And I have your socks."

"I noticed, because I have yours… I don’t like them." I mumbled grabbing my sneakers, slipping in.

"I don’t like yours! They’re so thin! And too small." he said and I chuckled.

"Well and yours are too thick! And too big!" I said and he laughed.

"Whatever. So. Spielberg. You’re driving with Felix. Tomorrow, early in the morning?" Charles said.

"Yup. And just so you know, we’ll be listening to good old Classic Rock! Singing along. Dancing." I said and got up, walking over to the mirror to cover up my jaw.

"You definitely need a camera in there!" Charles laughed "Oh, and talking of cameras, Netflix will be with Ferrari this weekend."

"Ooouuuh! Sorry Mr. Drive to Survive." I said.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. It’s a little sad that they weren’t with you last weekend! That would’ve been an amazing episode!" Charles sighed and I packed my make-up away.

"I mean… they filmed me once or twice before. They just never were officially in our garage? Audi is not fancy or prestigious or successful enough I guess. Although Julie told me they want a special episode or something just with me, but I said we’re a team, so that’s not gonna happen!" I plopped down on the bed.

"Hmm. It could be interesting, an episode about you? To give some insights of the life of a female F1 driver? Maybe talk about how hard it was as a girl? Maybe that attention would help girls in motorsport?" Charles retorted.

"Great. Now I feel bad that I turned them down." I sighed and he chuckled.

"I’m sure Julie could talk with them, I mean if you really want to!" he said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"If it’s focussing on girls in motorsports and how tough it was to make it into F1? I’m in. Everything to help promote girls in motorsports!" I should had to talk to Julie.

"That’s the spirit!" I heard a car door slam shut "Wait a second, I won’t hear you when I start the engine and my phone connects to the car… can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear!" I got up and grabbed my bag, leaving the hotel room "You’re having a meeting with Mattia first, you said?"

"Yeah, Mattia and Laurent as far as I know… I kinda know what it’s about…" he said hesitantly.

"It’s about us, right? About what Laurent saw?" I almost whispered.

"I guess so, he didn’t say anything the whole weekend, so I guess he told Mattia and now we’re having the talk." Charles sighed a little and I felt bad.

"I’m sorry… if we wouldn’t keep this a secret you wouldn’t have to have this meeting now.” I said as I left the hotel.

"Stop it. I’ve seen what they write about you… us! Us as friends… I get it, okay?" he said immediately and I got in the car "But I’m here now…"

"Okay, then- umm… good luck? I don’t know what to say, to be honest!" I leaned my head back, closing my eyes.

"You don’t have to say anything, cara mia. I’ll call you later, okay? I love you! Bye for now!" and with that he hung up.

"I love you too." I whispered and started the engine, driving off the parking lot to the Audi facilities.

When I arrived at the gates I was surprised to see a little group of fans waiting for me and my heart warmed. One of the securities was trying to wave me through but I stopped the car and got out.

"Hi guys! What are you doing here?!" I asked them and they began to cheer.

"We’re here for you! You won! Congratulations!" a young girl screamed and the rest of the little crowd cheered even louder.

"We were hoping that you come here today!" a guy said and I smiled at them.

"You guys are awesome!" I honestly didn’t expect this.

"Can we take a picture with you?" another girl asked an I nodded.

"Of course! I would love to!" I stood next to her and posed for a selfie with her.

I took a lot more selfies, signed shirts, caps, poster and flags. I talked with every single person and didn’t wanted to make anyone feel left out. All while holding back tears. Of course I saw some fans at the races here and there, even knew about some fan accounts on Instagram, but I never expected fans waiting outside our factory for me. Almost like the Tifosi wait for Charles in Maranello. And I received a whole bunch of new bracelets, a scrapbook and even a doll, that looked like me. I was overwhelmed with their outpour of love and support.

"Okay you guys, huddle together I want a picture with all of you guys!" I said and the little crowd all squeezed together, I handed the security guard my phone and he took a picture "Thank you all so much! This means the world to me! I love guys! Have a safe trip back home, okay?!" I said and got back in my car.

"Kick some asses in Austria! Have a good race weekend!" they all screamed and I smiled at them.

"I will do my best! See you guys!" I waved one last time and drove through the gate, parking right next to where Felix was waiting for me.

"Lizzie! You’re late!" he opened my door for me and I smiled sheepishly at him.

"I’m sorry! I kinda lost all sense of time there…" I grabbed my phone and got out of the car.

"So you saw your little mob of fans waiting for you?" he said and closed the door of my car. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah! How cute was that? God I love them! How long have they been waiting?"

"I have no idea. A while? But now come on in, we’re really late and have a lot to discuss!"

"Okay?" I said hesitantly, following him through the faculty, he unlocked a large door with his keycard and as soon as it opened a whole bunch of people applauded, Marcus being one of them.

"What is going on here?" I asked surprised.

"Well we wanted to give our race winner a very warm welcome!" Julius Seebach, CEO of Audi Motorsports smiled at me, shaking my hand "We’re all very proud of you, Lizzie! You and Valtteri have been representing us so very well! Right now we’re in P4 in the constructors! Only 8 points behind Mercedes! As a new team! Great job!"

"It wasn’t just me, or Valtteri, it’s this whole team! Every single one here! This is our win!"

"I don’t like sprint races…" I mumbled and Charles laughed.

"I’m not the biggest fan either, but it’s like this."

"Quali on a Friday feels weird." we walked towards the pits as someone shouted my name.

"Lizzie! Oi! Wait for me!" I turned around and Paul came running up to us "Hi! I thought we could walk back together?"

"Umm? Sure?" I said a little confused and Paul smiled at me, looking at Charles.

"I think we haven‘t met yet? I’m Paul. And you are…" he extended his hand towards Charles who shook it once "I’m just kidding! Of course I know who you are, Carlos!"

Charles clenched his jaw and opened his mouth to answer "I’m just messing with you, Charles." Paul laughed and slapped Charles on the shoulder.

"Very funny." Charles pressed out then turned to me "See you after quali? Good luck out there!" he pinched my side gently and I smiled at him.

"She won’t need luck! You Ferrari boys need it!" Paul laughed even louder and Charles looked at him and I thought he was contemplating what he should answer, but he just nodded and walked away.

"What was that?" I looked at Paul who just shrugged his shoulders.

"I’m just messing around. I didn’t know that he was so… so uptight?" Paul laughed and started walking.

"He’s not uptight."

"Okay. Noted. Carlos is the funny one out of the Ferrari guys!"

"What?"

"I had a laugh earlier with Carlos… Charles maybe is just not getting my type of humour…" he held up his hands.

"Well, yeah I didn’t get it either then." I said and walked away.

"Lizzie! Wait!" he grabbed my arm "I’m sorry, okay? I was really just joking! I’ll go and apologise to him?"

"No, it’s okay. But keep this kind of humour to yourself maybe from now on?" I said firmly.

"Promise!" he said and I nodded, walking to JK.

"Can we warm up a little?" I said and walked past him.

"Sure?" JK followed me back outside "What’s going on?"

"Nothing." I grumbled and JK adjusted the rubber bands around my head "All is good."

"Alright. I won’t say anything. But you know…"

"I can talk to you if needed. I know. Thanks."

Qualifying went good, really good, setting the second fastest time in Q1 and the third fastest in Q2. But then came Q3. Or rather the, according to Paul, funny one out of the Ferrari boys.

"Did he just overtake me in the fucking pit lane?"

"Yeah. He did."

"What the fuck? Did he never hear of the Gentleman’s agreement?"

"Apparently not. No."

I drove out on the track, starting my out lap, warming my tyres when Carlos began to drive slower in front. Then accelerated again just to brake again.

"What is he doing? I can’t warm my tyres like that?"

"Just keep going."

"Is someone coming from behind?"

"Hamilton, Max, Perez. Fast laps."

"How far away?"

"Don’t overtake him."

"But…"

"Lizzie. Hamilton behind. Closely followed by Max and then Perez. You can’t overtake before they all passed you."

"Yeah but then I’ll be almost in the last corner. Do I have time for a second out lap?"

"Negative."

"FUCK. Verdammte Scheisse! Sorry!"

"It’s okay."

It wasn’t okay. Far away from okay. Because of Carlos I couldn’t get enough temperature in my tyres and now I had to try and set up the fastest lap with only half warmed tyres. I watched as Carlos in front accelerated again and did the same. Pushing as much as possible as soon as I crossed the line and started my last attempt on a good grid position.

"And that’s P5."

"Ok."

"P1 Max. P2 Charles."

"P3 and 4?"

"Perez and Sainz."

"Awesome." I laughed. What else could I do. At least I wouldn’t have to start on the same side of the track. I could try to overtake him right at the start, before he could try to pull some shit again. I drove back into the pits. Climbed out of my car, congratulated Max, Charles and Checo, then did my weighing. I saw Carlos behind, joking with Lando and gritted my teeth.

"Walk off." Jo Bauer said in German and I looked up "Just walk it off." I nodded and he smiled a little, before the almost stoic look on his face returned. I did what he said and walked back into my garage, where my team waited for me.

"We will talk to the stewards. I’ve never seen a driver impeding another driver during their out lap. But still." Felix said but I shook my head.

"Don’t. I’m not whining and bitching about everything, like he does. It’s okay. I’ll do the talking on track."

"Are you sure?"

"100%."

"Hey Lizzie. You’re starting from P5 in tomorrow’s sprint race. Not the result you hoped for, after a strong Q1 and Q2?" ESPN Spain.

"Yeah. I mean, I had a certain red car in front of me, making my life not the easiest. But it’s okay. P5 is not too bad."

"There was a little squabble between you and Carlos, what happened?"

"What happened was that there is an agreement and someone decided to not give a fuck. And then someone decided to deliberately slow me down during my out lap, so yeah warming the tyres didn’t work out as planned."

"Carlos said it’s a gentleman’s agreement, so it applies only to gentleman’s."

"What?" I was 100% that I misheard it. I had more downs than ups with Carlos. But this? This was a low blow. I swallowed. "I mean, I thought it was an agreement between all drivers. Regardless of their gender."

"What is in for you tomorrow?"

"I don’t know. But as long as I’m in front of car number 55, I’m considering it a win." I shouldn’t have said that. I should not have said that. But fuck it I was furious.

"Are you out of your mind?" Julie groaned as soon as we left the media pen "Goddamnit Lizzie! You’re giving me a big fat headache and it’s only Friday! For fucks sake!"

"I want to see his interview after our meeting." was the only thing I said and walked off.

I kinda felt like it was a set up. Like the interviewer wanted to rile me up. Carlos wouldn’t say something like that in front of the cameras, right? Except that he indeed said it. I replayed the interview over and over.

"You didn't follow the gentleman's agreement there with Lizzie?"

"Yeah because it's an agreement between gentleman's…" emphasis on the man. And he laughed. Laughed.

"You’re kidding me, right? You did not say that! In front of a camera! You’re not that stupid!" Dad walked into my driver room, looking livid "Lizzie Doetterer! You know that if you just breathe into his direction tomorrow he will whine about it and use this interview against you!"

"Uh-huh… I know. It was a trap. And I was too blind to see it. ESPN Spain. How stupid can someone be?" I groaned and leaned back "I just know that there is a shit storm brewing up on social media."

"Then don’t read it! You have to be careful in the race tomorrow! He’s starting in front of you! Don’t let him make you do anything stupid! Stay calm! Leave him enough space! You know that he’s the first to complain!" Dad sighed and sat down next to me.

"Do you think we can leave? Or does Felix want to have a word with me alone? He was pretty calm and collected during the strategy meeting…" I looked at him and he chuckled.

"No, he said it’s fine. Well not fine. But it’s okay. We can leave." Dad got up and I grabbed my bag "

I turned on the shower and got in, sat down on the floor, hugging my knees up to my chest and laid my head down. The warm water cascading over me. I was tired. Exhausted. But more from the games the media still tried to play with me, than with anything else. The Spanish press has set their target on me. The questions on Thursday. Then today. And I played right into it.

"Good fucking job." I groaned.

"Lizzie?" Charles walked in and looked around, before he spotted me on the floor of the shower "Shit! Are you okay? Did you slip?" he opened the shower door and stepped in.

"I’m okay! I’m just sitting here! I didn’t slip, or trip or fall! I just sat down!" I assured him and Charles nodded.

"Okay! Good." he got up, his clothes soaked.

"Take them off and come in." I smiled up at him and he didn’t need to be asked twice. In an instant he closed the shower door and sat down next to me, lifting me into his lap.

"Hi." he kissed my shoulder, pushing some wet strands of hair out of my face "Why are we sitting in the shower?"

"I was too lazy to stand? I just wanted to sit under the water and relax a little? I know, I know. What a waste of water…" I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. He chuckled a little and I felt the vibration in his chest.

"We’re saving some water by me taking this shower with you instead of us doing it separately!" Charles stretched his arm out and grabbed my shampoo and conditioner in one go. Before he reached out for my shower gel "Here, let me…" he carefully carded his hands through my hair, entangling them, then squirted some shampoo in his hand and began to gently massage it into my scalp. He worked the shampoo down my lengths and then kissed my forehead before he tried to rinse out the suds "Can you grab the shower head? The stream from the rain shower isn’t strong enough. Perfect. Head back. There you go." He continued his ministrations until all the shampoo was gone, then he worked some conditioner in my hair and bundled them together at the nape of my neck, reading the back of the conditioner bottle "90 seconds… okay. I didn’t see you after quali?"

"Yeah I tried to leave quietly…" I mumbled.

"Hmm. It was a dick move from him. From overtaking in the pit lane, to slowing you down and then saying that shit in his interview…"

"I still shouldn’t have said that! It was a trap! He wanted to get a reaction out of me! And stupid me did just that!"

"You’re not stupid! It was in the heat of the moment and that reporter took full advantage of that!"

"Yeah and I played right into his cards…" I sighed and Charles grabbed my chin, tilting my head up, to look at him.

"Guess what? You’re human? You have emotions and sometimes they’re getting the better of you… don’t worry about it! Please?" he smiled at me, pouting a little and I nodded "Merci, mon amour." he kissed my cheek and grabbed the shower head again, washing the conditioner out.

"You’re next!" I said and grabbed my shampoo, massaging it into Charles’ hair and scalp.

"Mhhh I’ll smell like you." he whispered and his warm breath fanned over my ear, making me shudder. He chuckled a little but let me finish washing his hair, then I used only a couple of drops of conditioner and worked it in his hair "My hair will be just as fluffy and shiny as yours! People will start to wonder why my hair looks this amazing tomorrow!"

"They will ask you what products you’re using." I joked and he laughed.

"My girlfriends… and then they all go crazy, because I’m using women stuff!"

"I think they would go crazy because you dropped the bomb that you’re not single anymore."

"Possible… but nope I think it’s the hair products."

"Idiot."

"Hey!" Charles pinched my side and began to tickle me, holding me tight with his other arm to his body, no matter how hard I tried to wriggle out of his lap "Okay stop…" he let out a breathy groan and I grinned, feeling exactly what was bothering him "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" I pouted a little and he groaned again, grabbing my waist, holding me down to stop me from moving. I felt his hard length press into my thigh and grinned "Seems like you’re having a little problem."

"Little?" he scoffed.

"Big? Huge? Gigantic?"

"Better."

"If it helps you sleep better at night…" I teased but regretted it instantly, his hand dipped in between my legs, my breathing hitched.

"Seems like I’m not the only one who has a little problem, no?" his eyes darkened as I quickly shook my head, trying to gather myself when his next move elicited a soft moan from deep within me. I pulled his face closer, breathing ragged. "Say it." My eyes widened with every flick of his fingers. "Just admit it…"

"You’re not the- the only one…" I breathed out.

"That’s what I thought…"

"Charles…"

"Hmm?"

"Please…"

"I got you, pretty girl."

"Not at all creepy." Charles groaned as he opened his eyes and I chuckled.

"What? In romance books and movies it’s always cute, watching your boyfriend sleep."

"Yeah no. It’s not. So stop."

"So you never watched me sleep?"

"I did."

"And?"

"You’re adorable. Always having a cute smile on your lips, then that smile turns into a thrown and you scrunch up your nose and eyebrows, just to smile again… and your cute, little snores. Adorable!"

"I’m NOT snoring!" I tried to slap his arm but he caught my hand mid flight and pulled me onto him in one swift move.

"Yes you do, just every now and then. And so adorable! It’s the cutest!"

"So, you watch me sleep and it’s adorable? I watch you sleep and it’s creepy?"

"Uh-huh! You got it!" he kissed my cheek, working his way down my jaw before he stopped, eyes widened "Fuck! Lizzie!" he sat us both up, switching the light on "Fuck! Why didn’t you say something?"

"What are you talking about?" I was confused.

"Your jaw! Fuck! I was too rough, I’m so, so sorry!" he looked ashamed and it dawned on me "I grabbed your jaw way too tight! It’s bruising already! Why didn’t you say that I hurt you?"

"Because you didn’t! Okay? Look at me, Charles. That wasn’t you! It’s all good! Look closely! It’s already healing, they’re not fresh! Look here, my wrist as well…" I showed him my wrist and his eyes widened.

"Who did this to you?" his voice dripped with anger and worry.

"Two little monsters… when we were having a tickle fight… sometimes they underestimate their strength a little and the fact that I bruise pretty fast didn’t help! You know how my thighs and arms used to be sprinkled with little bruises from Liam? Him grabbing my arms, or trying to stand in my lap? When he was a little munchkin?" I laughed and Charles took a deep breath.

"Did it hurt?" he tilted my head up a little to look at my jaw "How did that even happen? Were they holding you in a chokehold?"

"No, it didn’t hurt and it was more me grabbing Liam trying to do a wrestling move and him just grabbing onto something to not fall… nothing bad at all, no pain, no nothing!" I reassured him as best as I could.

"Why didn’t I see the bruises before?"

"Make-up? And my wrist? I don’t know?" I shrugged my shoulders and got up.

"Okay… but I think I have to have a word with these little rascals…" he laid back, checking his phone.

"Please don’t, they will feel bad and I really don’t want that! Nothing happened, it didn’t hurt, so we just should keep it like that…"

"You’re right… but Lizzie? If I ever hurt you or be too rough? You’ll say it, right?" he looked at me intently.

"Of course… but I like it… you know…" I smiled suggestively at him and disappeared into the bathroom.

As soon as the door was closed I took a deep breath. Blaming Liam and Benji was so wrong and I felt bad. But it was the only lie I could come up with fast enough and Charles seemed to believe it. At least now I didn’t have to cover it up first things first in the morning. I sighed and began my morning routine, getting ready for the day, when Charles walked in.

"Look at my hair, from now on I’m only using your stuff, cara mia." Charles carded through his fluffy locks and I smiled.

"You look just like a dream, pretty boy. My stuff is your stuff. And now hurry up, we have an eventful day ahead of us!" one last kiss on his cheek and I walked out.

After the free practice I grabbed myself an apple and a bottle of water and met up with Charles to watch Arthur’s sprint race.

"He’s starting from P9?" I asked Charles as we watched the cars line up again after the formation lap.

"Yes. I really hope he has a good race!" Charles said and I nodded along.

"I have a good feeling!"

"Then I trust your feelings!"

We watched with anticipation the race start and how Arthur overtook 2 cars right at the start.

"Good job!" I cheered and Charles next to me clapped excitedly, as we saw the yellow flag being waved, both checking the huge screen in front of us "What happened?"

"There at turn 3, a car stopped… oh safety car." Charles pointed at the screen.

"Oh, as long as it’s not Arthur…" I mumbled and I could see Charles smiling a little.

As soon as the safety car was ending and the race started again we watched how Arthur fought his way to the front lap after lap.

"He’s in P5 now! He can do it! He can make it on the podium!" I jumped up and down.

"Yeah if he stays focused like this!" Charles leaned forward as Arthur breezed past us. He fought hard with his teammate, Bearman, and another driver, Maloney, and the three of them went wide, at the corner exit of turn 3 Bearman and Maloney touched which resulted in the latter to retire and brought out another safety car.

"This race is stressing me out more than our races!" I looked at the screen again, that showed a replay of the incident, Charles pulled me to his side nudging my shoulder a little.

"Don’t stress too much, you have a race of your own later." he chucked as we watched how the safety car came back to the pits.

With 7 more laps to go and Arthur now in P4, his fight with Colapinto for P3 was on. IT was a back and forth but in the final lap Arthur had passed him and due to a lock up from Colapinto managed to gain a little space between them, making him taking the checkered flag in P3. Charles and I jumped excitedly up and down, hugging each other.

"He did it!" we both screamed and we happily made our way to the barriers where Arthur would park his car any moment. Rene Rosin and some of the PREMA crew stood there, waiting for Arthur.

"Lizzie! Charles! Good to see you two!" he hugged as both happily "He did an amazing job! Fantastic! You can be proud of him!"

"He was amazing! What a race!" I said and watched how Arthur parked his car, jumping out, pumping his fists back and forth. As soon as he spotted us at the barriers he ran up to us and Charles hugged him close.

"Amazing race, Arthur!" he said and patted his back before he released him and I hugged him tight.

"Fantastic job, Arthi! We’re so proud of you!"

"Thanks guys!" Arthur said, his voice muffled through his helmet. I let go of him and he hugged his team.

We watched how Arthur got his trophy and cheered the loudest as a reporter from Sky walked up to us.

"Charles, Lizzie. A word to the race and your brother’s result?" he asked.

"It was an exciting race, for sure and we’re proud of Arthur, finishing in P3." Charles smiled wide.

"He did an amazing job, a good race from him. It always feels special watching the F3 and F2 races, knowing that’s where we were a couple of years ago ourselves." I smiled.

"It gives these young drivers maybe even a little hope, seeing F1 drivers watching their race?"

"I mean, if we made it, they can make it as well!" I said and Charles nodded.

"Thank you guys! And good luck in your own sprint race later on!"

We smiled and left, making our way back to the paddock.

Charles POV:

"Charles? Hey?" Andrea pinched my arm and I flinched "Ready to warm up?"

"Yeah…" I watched how JK and Lizzie warmed up for the sprint race, Paul sitting on a table watching them. The way he eyed Lizzie’s every movement. Undressing her practically with his eyes. I hated him.

"Well then?" Andrea sighed and sat down "What is going on with you?"

"What?" I asked, eyes still trained on Paul, who now stood next to Lizzie, his hand on her arm, laughing. Why was he always touching her? Andrea followed my look and chuckled a little.

"You know that she loves you more than anything? You don’t need to be worried!"

"It’s not her I’m worried about… it’s him! I hate him." I groaned and Andrea got up and patted my back.

"Trust her. That’s all you can do. And now come on!"

"Yeah, yeah. You’re right." I sighed, one last look at Lizzie and Paul. Lizzie looked up as if she felt my eyes on her and she smiled at me, that smile that was only meant for me, her eyes sparkling, cheeks slightly pink. God I loved that smile. Loved her.

"Charles? A word?" Mattia waved me over and I put down my helmet.

"Yes?"

"About the race… no more about Lizzie."

"What’s with her?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"You heard what she said yesterday?"

"You heard what Carlos said? Saw what he did?"

"That’s not the point." he rolled his eyes.

"It kinda is." I retorted.

"Charles, she’s mad and we both now her good enough that she can be reckless. So if Carlos manages to overtake Perez and Lizzie manages that as well and is behind Carlos again, we want you to switch positions. To protect Carlos."

"You’re kidding? Right? Lizzie might be reckless, but she’s not stupid? She wouldn’t do something that could potentially end her race as well! And why do I have to give up my position? I’m fighting with Max! I can’t focus on what’s going on behind me!"

"You focus on Max, of course! But if we see that you can’t catch him, then we must protect Carlos, you will switch back positions in the last lap."

"And does he know that, too?" I walked away, grabbing my helmet.

Unbelievable. They really thought that Lizzie would be this stupid? And not just that. They wanted me to give up my position to protect Carlos? As if Lizzie was out for his head?

"Charles? Ready?" Alessandro said and I nodded.

But was I really?

"Stay away from Sainz! You hear me? Stay away. Try to overtake him at the start, right away. Don’t get into any stupid fights!" Dad said and I rolled my eyes "Lizzie!"

"Little one you know he’s right! It’s Sainz! You will just be wheel to wheel and he will whine! They have a solid reason to believe that you’re out for his head!" Felix tried to reason with me.

"I got it, okay? I stay as far away from him as possible!" I groaned and grabbed my helmet, nodding to Matt "Don’t worry! I’m not that stupid!"

Until I was.

After I overtook Carlos at the start, he attacked, aggressively. More than once pushing me off the track. But I didn’t retaliate and now he was in front again. After clipping my front wing.

"Lizzie 9 more laps to go."

"How’s the car?"

"It’s okay."

"He pushed me off! I was in front! Way ahead! And he pushed me!"

"We saw that."

"Is it under investigation ?"

"Not as of now."

"He did that move at least 3 times! And I always backed down!"

"We know."

"Fucking hell."

I was furious. I was keeping my calm. Not fighting back because I knew they would bitch about it in no time. But they’re not even having a look into the last laps incident? He didn’t brake at all, clipped my front wing, still not backing down? I accelerated. If he can drive dirty. I could too. Although I had to do it cleverer. I was at his tail. DRS enabled. I got one last gulp of slipstream and pretended to overtake him from the outside. Just like anticipated he wavered onto the outside as well to block my attack and I braked hard to switch sides, going down the inside. The good old switcheroo. As I was almost ahead he steered into me, forcing me into braking. But not this time. I backed down time and time again. This time I wouldn’t. I pushed the throttle fully through and we went wheel to wheel, I pushed hard and felt the contact, felt how I hit the kerbs hard, felt the car tumbling but was able to keep it on track, forcing him to brake to prevent more damage. I was ahead, speeding away. Fuck yes.

"Gap to Sainz?" I radioed but no answer.

"Gap to Sainz?" I repeated.

"1.8"

"Good." Out of DRS range, 6 more laps to go. I will finish ahead and that would be a P4 I could live with.

"Lizzie. You’ve got a 5 seconds penalty for causing a collision."

"Of fucking course."

Actions have consequences. And here they were. Served in the form of a penalty. After being pushed off the track, getting my front wing clipped. Without whining and bitching. Without my team asking the racing director why his attacks weren’t under investigation.

"Gap?"

"2.1, his front wing is damaged."

"How many laps?"

"5"

"Gap now after every lap."

5 more laps for 3 seconds. I did more back in F2. Full focus now. Hitting the apex of every corner perfectly. Late braking. Using the kerbs. It was possible.

"3.5"

4 more laps for 1.5 seconds. Easy. Done.

"3.9. Perez ahead 1.2"

3 more laps for 1.1 seconds. I could maybe even get into the DRS range of Checo.

"4.2. Perez 1."

2 more laps for 0.8 seconds. And I was almost in Checo’s DRS range.

"4.5. DRS Perez."

Bingo. Last lap. I used Checo’s slipstream, pushed as hard as I could. Made it in front of him, taking the checkered flag.

"Gap to Sainz, 5.1 seconds. You did it Lizzie. That’s P4. Wonderful job!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

"5 seconds penalty but still managed to stay ahead of Carlos, good job!" Timo Glock said as I went to have a little talk with Sky Germany after the sprint race.

"Yeah well, I tried my hardest to gain that position." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Why didn’t your team complain earlier to the stewards? He pushed you off 3 times?" Peter Hardenacke asked.

"I don’t need them to sort out my race. And apparently they didn’t want to do it anyways. So why cry about it?"

"Ferrari asked immediately after the fourth contact…"

"Yeah if they need to do that? If their driver can’t pass me without help? Let them. I was backing down 3 freaking times, got pushed off the track, had also a damaged front wing. But I was beating him fair and square. And like you said I managed to make up one position although I had a penalty. Good day in my books."

"Good day indeed! Good luck for tomorrow!" Timo said and I smiled.

"Thanks guys! See you!" I handed them my microphone and walked back into our hospitality.

"I’m proud of you!" Dad sat in the lounge scrolling through his iPad "You didn’t say anything too controversial. Oh what is that look… Lizzie?"

"I might’ve been a little petty when talking to Sky Germany. Nothing too bad. I promise."

"You’re giving me a heart attack one day!"

"Oh come on papa bear! You can handle it!" I laughed as Pete walked in "Quick debrief?"

"No. You’re summoned by the stewards." he said and I stopped laughing immediately.

"What for? They already gave me a penalty during the race?"

"I don’t know. Felix is already waiting."

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Charles gentle voice coaxed me out of my slumber and I turned around, cuddling into him "I didn’t hear you coming back last night?"

"The meeting took forever and then I…" I stopped and sighed.

"And then you what?" he began to draw figure eights on my waist but I shook my head.

"I sat at the track for a while."

"Alone? At night?"

"Yeah. I wanted to get a clear head."

"Carlos? The FIA?"

"Everything. The last weeks were… a lot. That article. Hans death. Silverstone. Now this."

"We’re almost done with the first half of the season, mon amour. Then we’ll have summer break. Time to relax. Recharge the batteries. Time for us."

"I haven’t even thought about the summer break to be honest."

"But I have. The first week it’s all of the family together. The second week it’s us and our friends and the last week? Time for us. It’s all already planned, you don’t have to worry at all."

"You already planned it all?"

"I hope that’s okay?" he sounded unsure and I tilted my head up, looking at him.

"It’s perfect. You’re perfect." he kissed my head and checked the time.

"As much as I would love to stay here forever like this, we have a race to attend. So come on now, pretty girl. Shower, breakfast and let’s go."

"Lizzie?" Dad peaked inside and I looked up.

"Yeah?" I bent down again, lacing up my sneakers.

"Did Felix already tell you that there are some VIP guests here?" he asked and I sighed a little, getting up and checking myself in the mirror.

"Yup, he did. That’s why I applied make-up as you can see and why I took care that my braids look good… don’t worry, I’ll woo them." I rolled my eyes, grabbing my team hoodie and pulling it over my head, careful not to mess up my hair.

"What?" Dad looked confused.

"I mean, VIP guests? I thought I should look my best, represent Audi the best as possible?" I said and grabbed my phone and sunglasses "So I’m wearing the Audi sneakers, team hoodie, the Audi sunglasses, would there be an Audi jeans, I would wear it."

"Okay… I mean, you don’t look different then on any other race day but… anyways, let’s go." he chuckled a little and I followed him, good to know that all my efforts where for nothing apparently.

As we walked into the garage I saw JK and Sissy talking to a man and a woman, whose backs were facing me, I looked around, but couldn’t see Liam anywhere.

"Pops? Where is Liam?" I asked and he looked around.

"Ahhh! There she is! Lizzie, come over here!" Sissy said and I walked over to her as the two people she was talking to turned around and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hi Lizzie! It’s so good to see you again!" Susi Maier smiled at me and her husband, Marco, did the same. I was at a loss of words when someone hugged my waist and I looked down.

"Lizziiiiiieeee!" Luka had the biggest smile on his face and I felt tears stinging in my eyes, I bent down and picked him up. Held him tight to my chest. The images of him shellshocked on the street, the fear in his eyes when I tried to shield him off, his faint whimper when we came to a halt on the grass, the tears streaming down his face when he lifted his head up. It all came back.

"Luka? Wh- what are you doing here?" I asked and watched how his parents, Sissy and JK smiled at us.

"Your Dad called and asked if we want to come here, finally see you race in F1… of course we had to say yes!" Marco said and I nodded slowly.

"This is… the best surprise ever! Thank you guys so much for coming!" I sat Luka down, wiping the tears from my face. My heart was racing and I felt hot. Too hot.

"I thought you could show them around a little? Show them your car? I’m sure Luka would love to have a seat in it, right?" Dad said from behind me.

"Can I really sit in your car?" Luka asked with big eyes and I nodded, still trying to calm myself down a little.

"It’s so cool sitting in there!" Liam said as he walked in with Charles, sporting his all consuming smile, shaking hands with Susi and Marco, introducing himself.

"I’m so happy to meet you!" he said and Susi blushed a little, something her husband acknowledged, and gently put an arm around her waist.

"Is it allowed that a driver of another team enters the garage?" Marco asked, sounding really curious.

"Well, Charles is the only exception!" Felix answered as he walked up to us, patting Charles back. He looked at me intently and I knew that he could sense how overwhelmed I was, although I was trying to hide it. He walked over to me, gently cupping my cheeks and wiping away the last of my tears.

"Are you okay?" he whispered and I nodded slowly "If you need a moment?"

"I’m okay. It’s just… a lot. But a positive lot!" I smiled and he nodded, kissing my forehead "Careful, where not alone."

"I don’t care, not right now." he smiled a little and then stepped aside "If you need me, call, text, scream, whatever. I’ll be here! Okay?"

"Okay… thanks, really!" he only nodded again and walked away, not before ruffling Liams hair when passing him.

"So! Who wants to sit in my car?" I asked and Luka jumped up excitedly.

"Me! Me! Me!" he screeched and Liam tapped his shoulder and they ran off to my car.

I waved to the crowd when the flatbed was making his way around the track, watching how between all the orange here and there a Germany flag was waved. I watched how Charles got interviewed and had to smile at how he was so enthralled in talking about the upcoming race. His passion and love for racing was one of the many things I admired at him. The way his eyes lit up when asked about how he’ll manage to overtake Max and win the race. The way that fire in him brought out his raw competitiveness. I was so engrossed, listening to him that Seb had to wave his hand in front of my face. I blinked confused and looked at him.

"Earth to Lizzie… are you there?" he laughed and I shook my head.

"I’m sorry! I was lost in my thoughts…" I said and he cocked his eyebrows, turning slightly to look at Charles.

"Lost in the pretty boy, you mean…"

"Yeah… I mean look at him? You can’t blame me…" I chuckled and he nodded.

"So, the kid running around with Liam? He’s the one…" Seb began and I nodded "Is it the first time you saw him after?"

"Kinda… they came by when I was in the hospital. But then they moved to Australia, where Marco had a new job. We texted every now and then… then they moved back home and with me racing now in F1, there was just not enough time I guess?" I explained and he scratched his beard.

"Nice that they’re here, supporting you. The kid and Liam seem to get along pretty well?"

"Yeah, which is weird? Liam is… well he’s a bit difficult when it comes to other kids? But him and Luka?" I smiled. It was true. Finding new friends was never easy for Liam. Being way too hyperactive, but also very sensitive, other kids mostly ended up being deemed no friends. Seeing him getting along with Luka that well, really made me happy.

"Pretty girl? What are you thinking of?" Charles whispered into my ear and I flinched a little "Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!"

"It’s okay, I was thinking about Liam and Luka because Seb… where is Seb?" I looked around, Seb now getting interviewed, looking at me and laughing a little.

"You’re a little out of it today? I mean after…" he began and I just nodded "It’s okay. You can’t always have everything under control."

"When do I ever have anything under control?" I sighed and he chuckled.

"Lizzie, another podium today for you, it’s your fifth podium in your eleventh race, you had a pretty good first half of a season for a rookie. How does that feel?"

"Fifth? Umm- okay. How does it feel? Unreal? Unbelievable? I honestly have no words for how amazing this season is going… the team works so hard for Valtteri and me, hours and hours of hard work in the factory. Everyone here at the track from the logistics guys, to the mechanics, engineers, media guys, strategists, god the amazing caterers! Everyone works so incredibly hard! I’m just more than proud to be a part of this team! I will be forever thankful for the opportunity, the trust, Felix and the whole Audi team gave me… so yeah, that’s how it feels. Fucking amazing!" I said and Charles smiled at me, eyes bright, after his fifth win today.

"Matthias Bircher, from Auto, Motor, Sport. Question for Lizzie, you’ve been penalised and fined by the FIA yesterday, once for the collusion with Carlos during the sprint race and then for your interview after quali on Friday. Do you think these punishments were justified? You didn’t seem to care much about it?"

"I honestly think it’s ridiculous. I’m getting fined for being mad about the very sexist comment of another driver, doesn’t matter if he said it as a joke, in that moment it wasn’t one, while he’s not being fined? Then I get a penalty for having the upper hand while overtaking? Whereas he pushed me off track 3 times before, clipping my front wing? Without a penalty? And then reporting back to the stewards that I deliberately crashed into their driver, because I said it beforehand that I would target him? When did I say that? So no, I don’t think any of that was justified, but you were right. I didn’t care much for it."

"Laura Killigan, motosport.se . Question for Charles and Max. What do you think about the penalties? Do you think they were deserved?"

"No. They weren’t deserved. I understand why Lizzie said what she said? Not just that it was a low blow, even if it only was meant as a joke, it was also something that happened at quali. He overtook her in the pit lane and then kinda impeded her on her final out lap. I totally understand that Lizzie was furious! So if you want to fine her, then Carlos should be fined as well. As for the sprint race, I saw the replay and must say I wouldn’t give a penalty for any of the incidents? But if Lizzie get’s one, Carlos again should’ve been penalised as well. They were both fighting hard." Max said and looked at me.

"I think Max said everything there is to be said. Punish both or no one. The way it was handled was unfair." Charles put his microphone down and tilted his head in my direction.

"No more questions? Alright, that’s it. See you all in two weeks at Paul Ricard. Thank you!" Tom Clarkson ended the press conference and I jumped up.

"Will you guys make use of your right to appeal the decisions?" Max asked when we walked back and I shook my head.

"Nope. We’re not doing that. I don’t want this farce going on longer then needed. It’s 10.000,- Euro and 2 penalty points. We accept it and it’s done."

"But it’s unfair. Ca- umm Lizzie! You really should appeal!" Charles said, clearing his throat at his almost slip up.

"I understand you, it’s annoying and takes up time you could use otherwise." Max shrugged his shoulders and I nodded.

"Exactly!" I groaned and Max hugged me as we stopped in front of Red Bull.

"Chin up and don’t care. You let your results speak for yourself." he gave Charles a little pat on the shoulder and was gone.

"I’m sorry that Ferrari were behaving like… well yeah like that." Charles mumbled a little and I bumped my shoulder into his.

"It’s not your fault. I finished ahead of Carlos in both races. That’s a win in my book. Now cheer up a little. We’re having a little celebration tonight." I smiled at him and he nodded, hugging me tight.

"I really can’t wait for tonight… especially if you wear that little, black dress I’ve seen in your suitcase… you’ll look gorgeous!" he whispered in my ear and I blushed a little "See you later, cara mia."

The whole drive from Neuburg back home I only had one thing on my mind: Netflix. A three part mini series. Drive to Survive Originals: The story of Lizzie Doetterer. I honestly had no idea what to think about it. They wanted to highlight my way from karting over Formula Regional, to GP3, F2, then to WSeries and finally into F1. How hard it was as a girl coming this far. The challenges I had to face. But they also wanted to see my private life, past and present. How could I provide that? There was already enough of my private life splattered out for the world to see. What were the boundaries? Did I have a say in what was filmed? What would make the Final Cut? I had the words of the Netflix representative in my head "Think about the money." I never really cared for the money? Why would I now? Mum, Dad and Rita handled all my money related business. I was deep in thoughts when Charles called.

"Hey pretty boy."

"Hi cara mia, you sound exhausted?"

"Tough days. I’m just happy to go home now." I sighed a little.

"Oh I know that sigh. What’s going on?"

"Netflix."

"Netflix?"

"Netflix!"

"Cara mia I need more than that?"

"Drive to Survive Originals: The story of Lizzie Doetterer. A three part mini series."

"Sounds amazing. I would binge it." Charles chuckled.

"The motorsport side of it? Yeah… but the “who is Lizzie Doetterer outside of racing? The person behind the lid?”- side of the story? I don’t know."

"So it’s not entirely about racing?"

"No. They want to show parts of my private life. Show me as an approachable, young woman. Who was oppressed half her life by male competitors. How it affected me as a person. How it affected my family and friends… they even want you and Pierre in it… because of our karting past!"

"Max?"

"He said a long time ago fuck off to them, so I guess no."

"Will you do it?"

"I don’t know. I don’t want to reveal the last remaining private parts of my life to Netflix and therefore the world…"

"Understandable. But the other aspect would be good. For every young girl with a love and passion for motorsport."

"Jeez! Rub salt in the wound…"

"Sorry, cara mia. I just think you maybe have to talk to them? How much of your private life they want to show. And how much power over the content they’ll show in the end you’ll be having?"

"Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ll have a talk with Julie. Thanks… you really helped me."

"Always. So where are you right now?"

"Around 30 minutes away from home."

"You’ll be going with Liam tomorrow to that father-son-thing?"

"Well as far as I know, yes. He said it’s okay if I want to come. But I don’t have to. When I said I was excited he seemed to be a little happy. But Sissy texted me an hour ago that there were kids laughing at him because he’s taking me, his aunt, not even an uncle, instead of his dad… so yeah. I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what’s his mood tomorrow."

"Why are kids so mean?"

"No idea. I just know that if he really doesn’t want to go tomorrow, because I’m a girl, I definitely won’t be mad at him… because that’s what he said to Sissy. He only said yes to me because he didn’t want me to feel bad… and now? I don’t know. I want him to go there tomorrow, head held high. Smile on his face with a proud attitude that he can have fun with everyone. But also I just want to stay at home with him and cuddle him and tell him it’s okay to stay at home if he doesn’t want to go with me, his aunt, a girl, to a field trip with only boys/men…"

"Tough. I’m really sorry. I wish I could do something."

"I think no one of us can."

"That sucks."

"You don’t say?"

"I don’t want to hang up, but Sylvia is giving me her evil look. I think they’ll need me."

"Alright. Call me when you’ve got time. Love you."

"I love you more."

I sat at the kitchen island, waiting for Sissy and Liam, as she walked into the kitchen, sighing.

"He’s definitely not coming out of his room…" she said and sat down next to me.

"What the hell did these kids say to him?" I asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I don’t know. He just said he doesn’t want to go anymore…" she looked defeated "I hate him, he doesn’t care for his son! He was suing me, trying to get his name on the birth certificate, Liam having his last name? For what? What if the court would granted him all his demands? He would’ve still fucked everything up and not be here for him! And now Liam refuses to go to this trip because it’s a father and son day! Whose idea was that? How insensitive are they?" I could see the tears prickling in her eyes and hugged her "There will be so many situations where he needs a dad, but he only has me!"

"We’ll manage it. He has all of us." I said and got up "And now I’ll get him so we can all be upset together." I left and walked up into their loft. "Bubba? Can I come in?"

"I’m not going on the trip!" he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"That’s okay, but can you come downstairs? We’re upset, you’re upset, let’s all be upset together? And maybe have some ice cream for breakfast?" I said and he looked up. Jackpot. "Come on, ice cream and movies?"

"Okay…" he nodded and took my hand and together we walked downstairs.

"Hey my baby boy… everything ok now?" Sissy asked him gently and he shrugged his shoulders.

"We’re having ice cream for breakfast!" he said and my sister looked at me with wide eyes "And we’re watching movies!"

"Umm yeah, sure…" she replied and I just grinned apologetically as I heard a car approaching, one look out of the kitchen window and my heart skipped a beat. I heard the car door closing and just a moment later Charles walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry that I’m late, but I had to stop at the petrol station. Ready, Bubba?" he said a little out of breath and Liam jumped into his arms.

"You’re coming with me? Really?" he asked and Charles nodded.

"Of course! Now come on! Get dressed!" he sat Liam down who sprinted away.

"You’re here?" Sissy asked with a thin voice, tears in her eyes.

"I‘m here!" Charles answered smiling at her and Sissy hugged him.

"Thank you, Charles! You have no idea what that means to me! No, what it means to him!" she whispered.

"I will always try to be here for him, no matter what!" he smiled and looked at me and I had to do my best to not cry.

"I’ll help him, we’ll be back in a minute!" Sissy said and followed Liam upstairs.

"Hey, cara mia." he whispered and pulled me into his arms, a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Thank you!" I just whispered and he hugged me tighter.

"Everything for you…" he said and I could hear Liam approaching.

"Did you see how high the platforms are, Charlie? That’s going to be so scary! But so cool!" he was the happiest little kid all of a sudden again, all because of Charles. With one last hug for all of us the two boys left and I waved them goodbye at the door, Charles smiling at me. How could someone be this perfect?

For the next 2 days straight we heard story after story of how great the high ropes course was. Liam was smiling that much, I was almost afraid he would be in pain by now.

"And then at the last platform, it’s the highest of all of them, you can decide if you want to be lowered down, or roping down or, and that’s only for the toughest ones they said, if you want to jump! And then it’s like free fall for a couple of metres before there is some kind of brake at the harness that you’re wearing! And guess what! They were all too scared! No one did it! But Charlie and I we were brave enough!" Liam beamed.

"Oh wow! That sounds so cool! Next time I want to join in!" I said and he nodded.

"We can all go! Maybe Omi and Pops not? They’re a little old…" he whispered the last part and Charles had to laugh.

"I heard that!" Dad shouted from the barbecue and Liam giggled a little.

"Ooopsie!" he jumped out of my lap and disappeared inside.

"You made him the happiest, coming here and going on that field trip with him!" Dad said as he sat down next to us.

"I needed it as well. A little break away from…" Charles began but then shook his head.

"What’s going on at the Scuderia?" Dad asked and I looked up from my book.

"The usual. Nothing to concerning."

"They were giving you a hard time… because of Austria?" I said and he nodded a little.

"They weren’t the happiest that I didn’t had Ferrari’s back when it came to your penalties… but I said that it was unfair what the FIA was doing. They kinda accepted it." he shrugged his shoulder and I sighed.

It hurt that Ferrari was turning into some kind of enemy. They were still the team my heart belonged to, the team that awakened my love for Formula 1. The team I celebrated big triumphs with. But more and more they turned into more than just a competitor. The rivalry between Carlos and I was topic number one in all F1 related blogs, podcasts and so on, over the past week. But it wasn’t just Carlos who agitated me. No it was Ferrari’s treatment of Charles. More so Mattia Binotto’s treatment of Charles. The strategy blunders? The unreliable car. Just too many mistakes, screwing Charles over more than once.

"Lizzie?" Charles threw a grape at me and I looked up "Where were you again?"

"Sansibar." I chuckled and he cocked an eyebrow "I was just thinking about… umm…"

"Netflix?"

"Netflix! I guess I really will have a talk with Julie…"

"What does Netflix want from you?" Dad chimed in and I realised that I forgot to tell my family about it. Charles was happy to fill him and Mum and Sissy who joined us outside in.

"That sounds amazing! Think about the millions of people you could reach? They all will know then how hard it was for you to make it into F1!" Sissy said.

"It would mean a lot to every girl who’s interested in motorsports out there." Mum agreed.

"But they want to film my private life as well? Imagine we’re sitting here. Having a conversation like this and there is a camera crew? It’s like the Kardashian’s thing? Am I supposed to sit here, eat a salad and talk about I don’t know what? While being filmed?" I really wasn’t sure about it.

"I would like to think we’re a little more interesting than the Kardashians…" Dad said and I had to laugh "Whoever they are."

"Funny guy." I groaned as Liam ran out of the house, handing Dad the phone.

"Someone for you. He said he’s a lawyer."

"Okay? Thanks Bubba." Dad got up and walked away.

"A lawyer?" Charles looked at me but I had no idea what’s going on, so I looked at Mum.

"Don’t look at me! I have no idea…" she held her hands up and I watched Dad closely. He talked for another 5 minutes until he hung up and came back.

"What’s going on?" I said as soon as he sat down.

"That was Hans‘ lawyer. The testament was opened and now they’re needing us to accept our share." he said and I gulped "We have an appointment tomorrow."

"Great." was all I could say, Charles took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"It’s in the morning, so you guys can leave as planned tomorrow night." Dad said and Charles nodded.

"You’re awfully quiet, cara mia?" Charles asked after we’ve driven for almost 3 hours.

"Hans was a freaking multi millionaire!" I exclaimed and he looked at me "Seriously. He set up trust funds for his two grandkids, really generous ones, then a large amount for his son. And the rest of his private fortune… well I get it. And then of course the karting track and all the business accounts? It’s a freaking lot! I spoke with Dad, we’re not selling the karting track. We keep it and he will take over the academy. Hans had a bunch of new ideas for the track and the academy and Dad will take care of it."

"But that sounds good, no? You don’t seem to be too happy about it?"

"I mean… Dad already sacrificed so much for me, he was only working part time to support me and travel with me. Now the academy? I don’t want him to feel obligated to do it?"

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah…"

"And?"

"He said he would quit his job and focus on the karting track 100%. Realise all of Hans’ plans for a complete renovation and modernisation of the track…"

"But that’s a good thing? If he wants to do that?"

"It is. It’s just… he will have all the work, all the pressure, all the stress! And still will try to be at as many races as possible! I’m just afraid it’s getting all too much for him…"

"Hmm. He just loves watching you race. But yeah maybe he should split his time then a little?"

"Can you tell him that? Because when I did, he just rolled his eyes and said he’ll be fine…"

"You want me to tell Pops what to do? Hell no."

"You’re a scaredy-cat!"

"I’m not, I just know that he won’t listen anyway."

"Maybe I could ask Mum to talk to him?"

"Sounds like a plan."

We continued our drive in silence and I slowly drifted off every now and then, although trying my best to stay awake.

"You can sleep, cara mia. I’m fine." Charles chuckled after I flinched again, gently slapping my cheeks to stay awake.

"No! I’m not sleeping when you have to drive! I’m awake!" I mumbled and yawned.

"Driving from Maranello to Ludwigsburg and then all the way back to Monaco really isn’t the best of ideas."

"You did it couple of times before."

"I know. And it was always when I had decided spontaneously to come. I wouldn’t plan it intentionally."

"Me neither."

I connected my phone to the car and Charles groaned a little.

"I want to stay awake and for that I need to sing… so come on, let your inner Swiftie out."

"There is no inner Swiftie."

"Oh please."

The next 2 hours were filled with me singing along to Taylor Swift and Charles driving, with a content smile on his face.

"You know what? I have an inner Swiftie in me, but only for you singing the songs."

"Oh come on."

"No I’m serious, I’ve told you this before and you never believe me. But I really love hearing you sing, anything, not just Taylor Swift."

"Charles, it’s sweet of you, but yeah no, I’m not a good singer."

"Let’s agree that we disagree on that one."

"Whatever." I looked outside, the sun beginning to rise around us "If you need to switch, I could drive for a bit?"

"I’m fine, but thank you."

"Do we have anything planned for today or tomorrow?"

"Nope. Relax, a little work outs here and there. And on Thursday we’re driving to Le Castellet."

"Alrighty. Two days doing nothing? Sounds too good to be true."

"We could take the boat tomorrow? One last little cruise."

"What do you mean?"

"What?"

"You said one last cruise?"

"I did?"

"Don’t try to play it down! What do you mean? Did you sell Monza?"

"Okay, this was supposed to be a surprise… I sold it, wait, and bought a new one. A bigger one… I called it Sedici and it’s currently being customised, it should be done by the end of this month…"

"Wait! When we just out of fun looked through the different interior designs of yachts and you asked about my opinion, that was not just out of fun, was it?"

"I might took in some of your ideas… and by that I mean most of your ideas…"

"Charles! Why a bigger one? Wait? How much bigger?"

"Just a little… and I thought that we could all hang out more together on the water… especially during the summer break…"

"Has this something to do with your mysterious plans for the summer break you’re not telling me about?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, keep your secrets. But yeah. We could take the boat tomorrow, have a little day out on the water, it’s been a while."

"Perfect."

"Hi Lizzie, yesterday in FP1 you had some problems to get the car in the right set up, in FP2 you couldn’t drive. Now P7 in qualifying. Not too bad after the problems you had?" Karun Chandhok from SkyUK asked.

"Yeah FP1 was just not it, im the car felt stiff and oversteery, so yeah it was tough and then we had the issues with our electric in FP2. And yeah FP3 wasn’t much better. But yeah P7 is okay. I can manage I guess."

"What do you think is possible tomorrow?"

"The track is not really suitable for our car, on paper at least, so yeah, we’ll see. But P7 is a good position, to maybe make up one or two positions."

"Carlos will start in P5 in front of you tomorrow, have you guys talked about last weekend? Will we see a fair battle?"

"We haven’t talked, for me there is nothing to say. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to race, to win. I let my results speak for myself. And I will drive the same way I did last weekend.”

"Thank you Lizzie and good luck!"

"And that’s P6. Good race, little one" Pete radioed and I sighed.

"I tried."

"You did good."

"Valtteri?"

"P4."

"Awesome!"

I drove into the pit lane and parked my car behind Checo and got out of the car. I waited for Pierre and he pulled me into his side, walking towards the weighing.

"He’ll be a mess." Pierre said in hushed French and I nodded.

"I still don’t understand what happened? He lost the rear?"

"Yeah, let’s just hope it was the car…"

"And not his mistake? You’re right. He would be devastated…"

As I got my receipt I congratulated Max, Lewis and George.

"Hey Finnisher! Good race!" I hugged Valtteri and he patted my back.

"You too, little one! Thanks for opening up that door for me…" he chuckled a little and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah we went both a little off there." I shrugged my shoulders.

We walked back into our garage and I passed an awaiting JK my helmet, taking my bottle from him.

"What happened?" I looked at him.

"It wasn’t your fault, I mean you two touched a few times over the course of the race, yeah more or less within the rules, but nothing major. Nothing big. He hit a kerb pretty hard and then had an issue with his floor, that’s why he had to retire. You weren’t involved."

"What? No, not Carlos. Charles?"

"Oh… umm he lost the rear."

"No shit Sherlock! How?"

"Driver error."

"Fuck! Did you see him?"

"Only for a moment. He’s okay…"

"No he’s not. Can you stall Julie for a bit? I just want to see him. Couple of minutes only."

"Stall her? Julie? Stall Julie? How? She’s a menace!"

"I don’t know, flirt with her?"

"She’s married. I have a girlfriend."

"Tell her… tell her I’m having a shit."

"Sure Lizzie Räikkönen!"

"I don’t care what you tell her, just- just stall her okay?

"I’ll try my best…"

"Thanks, you’re the best!"

"Go now!"

I sprinted away, behind the garages, until I was at Ferrari. I couldn’t just walk in obviously, like Charles could into the Audi garage, so I had to wait for someone to come out. One of the mechanics I knew noticed me an I waved him over.

"Hey Lizzie, how are you?" Mauro asked and I smiled my most charming smile.

"I’m good! I just wanted to check on Charles? Can you maybe get him for me?"

"Oh, yeah sure! I’ll go and have a look!"

"Thank you so much!" he smiled and left.

As I stood at the side I saw Carlos Sainz sr. leave the garage, looking at me.

"Hola Señor Sainz." I nodded at him and he gritted his teeth slightly.

"Doetterer." he replied and walked off.

"Nice to see you too." I chuckled a little and looked back into the garage, where Mauro was talking to my favourite red head, who shook her head, walking straight to me.

"Lizzie." Sylvia said, awfully sweet.

"Sylvia." I replied, even sweeter.

"Charles can’t come. We have our debrief now, since both our drivers had to retire, we start a little earlier. You can see him later." her words were final and she left.

"And also nice to see you too." I sighed and walked back to my garage as a mad looking Julie already waited for me.

"Did you see your lover boy? Can we go now?" she chided and I nodded.

"I haven’t seen my lover boy, but yes we can go, my lovely Julie!" I smiled and she grabbed my arm.

"Come on now, and Lizzie? Please! Don’t be petty, or happy or malicious about Carlos' DNF, okay?" she urged me and I nodded.

"Got it."

"Tough race? Some hard battles there with Carlos? Just like yesterday in the Sprint race?"

"Yeah, we raced hard but fair. Touched here and there, but still all within the regulations. It was a fun battle."

"You were able to put some distance between Carlos before you had a little lock-up?"

"Yeah, that was my mistake. I was a little too greedy I guess. He came close again and we had another intense battle."

"But then Carlos went off. Without your input."

"Yeah I didn’t see him going off, he was gone and my race engineer told me then that he’s out."

"Overall a good weekend for you? Yesterday P4. Today P6. You said as long as you’re in front of car 55 it’s a win for you."

"I shouldn’t have said that in the first place, but yeah. Like I said, I let my results speak for myself."

"Any final words after this weekend?"

"I always was a huge fan of karma…" I had to. I couldn’t hold back. With a big smile I left, Julie next to me just shaking her head.

"I hate you." was all she said and I laughed.

"You love me."

As I walked out, I saw Charles leaning against his Pista, eyes hidden behind his Ray Bans, head hung low.

"Hey…" I said and he looked up.

"You ready to go?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"Yup." I answered and he opened the door for me "Thanks." he smiled faintly, closed the door and walked around the car.

As he got in, he started the engine and drove off of the parking lot, where loads of fans were gathered. Security holding them back, only on the right side the fans could approach the car and as they were all screaming for Charles, he sighed. I opened the window and the screaming got louder, I looked for a sharpie in my bag, grabbed some of the things they were shoving at us and handed them Charles to sign.

"We love you, Charles!"

"You’ll come back stronger!"

"Daghe Charles!"

"We believe in you!"

Nothing of it changed Charles emotionless face, he just signed the stuff and handed it to me, some fans were asking for my signature as well and I happily obliged to them. After 5 minutes the security guys waved at us and Charles nodded, he leaned a bit over and thanked the fans, I waved them goodbye, then he drove off.

The first 30 minutes we sat in silence. Charles right hand on the steering wheel, left arm on the window frame. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Okay, let’s talk about it…" I began, but he shook his head.

"I’d rather not." he said and I looked at him.

"Yeah well, you don’t always get what you want. So, what happened?" I said and Charles gripped the steering wheel with both hands tight "We have more than an hour to drive left and I don’t want this to be a monologue! So? Tell me, what happened?”

"I lost the rear, haven’t you seen it? I pushed too hard, wanted too much, lost the rear and the championship, all because I am stupid…" he said and I waited for more, but Charles stayed silent.

"Okay, so you wanted to win so badly, that you gave it your all, pushed the car too much and then lost the rear?" I asked and Charles groaned but nodded "Okay."

"Okay? That’s all you have to say? Okay?" he asked and looked at me for a second.

"What else do you want me to say?" I looked at him.

"You could say that I’m stupid, that I keep making mistake, after mistake, that I will never be a world champion because I’m not consistent enough, you could say that I’m just not good enough for Formula 1…" he begann but I scoffed "What?"

"No, go on, I’m sure you have a lot of other very nice things to say about yourself…" I looked out the window and we kept on driving in silence, the sky turning darker with every Kilometer that we got closer to Monaco.

"I’m just making too many mistakes, I can’t handle the pressure, Max doesn’t make mistakes like this, he’s consistent…" Charles said after a while.

"Charles, that’s not…" I began but he shook his head.

"No, Lizzie, it’s true, Max doesn’t make mistakes, he…" Charles began.

"But you’re not fucking Max Verstappen! You’re Charles Leclerc, who made a mistake today, a mistake that costed you a lot, but it did not cost you the championship! Goddamnit, Charles! Yes, today was your mistake. 100%. But you own up to it! You know you made a mistake. But the reason why you make these mistakes are not because you’re not good enough, or not consistent enough, or that you can’t handle the pressure. The reason you keep making these mistakes is that for some strange reason you still think that you have to prove yourself, you still think you have to show that you truly deserve your seat and that your good enough and that you think you have to be better to make your dad and Jules proud, and that lack of confidence in your abilities, paired with the insecurities you’re team is giving you by fucking you over every other race… yeah well, we saw what happened." I said and Charles didn’t reply, he just kept driving "You know what is good though? This is something you can change, something you can work on."

"And how? How do I stop making these mistakes?" he asked.

"Really simple, stop thinking too much about all this bullshit. Drive. Focus on what you’re best at. Believe in yourself. Push yourself to the limit but not above. Drive with the passion that brought you here all those years ago. Don’t do it for anyone else but yourself! And for fucks sake, Charles, start to be confident in your own abilities!" I said and he smiled a little. He reached his hand out and laid it on my thigh, gently rubbing it.

"Maybe you’re right, but still. Today was just… god I was so close…" he sighed.

"Oh pretty boy, the season is not over yet!" I smiled.

As we parked the car Charles switched the engine off and looked at me for a moment.

"God, I love you so much!" he said and launched at me, kissing me fiercely, igniting a fire running through my veins.

"Come on now, pretty boy. I’m hungry and tired!" I unbuckled my seat and Charles was already out of the car, opening the door for me, holding out his hand to help me out.

"And they say chivalry is dead."

"Not when it comes to you, mon amour."

Little Note:

Chapter 21 - there’s a rivalry blossoming 😬 (no hate towards Carlos, he just really makes a great antagonist).

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1 @janeholt3 @maeve-wileyy @18754389 @queensassybitchsworld @chiliwhore

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[quitealotofsodapop]

Thinking about a scenario where the Ink Demon/Ink MK/Curse the gang encounters in S4 accidentally forms an outer conscieness.

I feel like it gains sentience partially from MK refering to the Curse as a being separate from the Scroll - and not solely as a tool created to torment it's prisoners. Almost like a magic artifical intelligence.

I could see MK finding a way to contact the demon, mostly to gain greater insight on things he's mentally avoiding. Like by writing with an enchanted ink set, or with the ink left behind by the Curse's rampage.

MK, putting ink brush to paper: "Hi?" *The ink begins to blob and shape itself into words* Ink Curse, as writing on the paper: "You could have just used a pen, idiot." MK, excitedly writing back: "It's you!!" Ink Curse: "Why do you seem excited? Are you a glutton for punishment?" MK: "So, I know your whole thing is to pick people apart mentally, right?" Ink Curse: "Yes. I was spawned from the ink used to detail the crimes of those written into the scroll of memory. It is my purpose. Like how you were made for-" MK, writing over the response: "Yeah yeah chaos and destruction and stuff I know that part. But like, when I got home... I started thinking about the other stuff and... you seem pretty good at voicing thing people don't want to know about themselves. It almost feels I dunno... catartic almost? (is that how you spell it)? Ink Curse: "It is spelt Cathartic. And If you take any comfort in what I did, then I have failed my purpose. Or you are hopelessly dense." MK: "But thats the thing! I didn't feel comfortable! You dragged me out of my comfort zone and made me think about junk. It's actually helping me a little in coming to terms with... what I am." Ink Curse: *doesn't respond for some time* "You are strange." MK: "I mean, I guess. I'm writing to a demonic ink curse instead of going to an actual therapist. Hope to talk to you again soon Mozhi*!" Newly dubbed "Mozhi": "Excuse me?"

*"Mozhi/Mòzhī/墨汁" - meaning "squid ink" or the ink used in traditional chinese calligraphy.

And since putting a name to something gives its power, "Mozhi" begins to manifest beyond ink and paper. Ink stains and monkey handprints litter the apartment. The magnets on MK's fridge start rearranging into swear words. The menu at Pigsy's shuffles to critique minor flaws in the kitchen. Mei starts recieving scathing texts from an unlisted number. The tv starts glitching in the viewer's insecurities.

Eventually the gang break down MK's door to figure out wtf is going on, only to see an Ink!MK physically pull itself into the 3d world from the Cursed ink. Everyone starts screaming.

Macaque, laughing: "Oh my gods, I know what happened here - I've heard of it happening before in shadow demons. MK gave the ink Curse a name and that gave it power to, quote a little puppet made of pine; become a real boy." Ink Curse/Mozhi, stumbling like a newborn fawn: "Why is my body being pulled down?" Wukong: "It's called gravity, spot. You get used to it." Ink Curse/Mozhi: "You are actively floating." Wukong: "Yeah, doesn't mean I have to like gravity."

In his "physical" form, Mozhi looks like monkey!MK with inky black fur and colder toned skin - his facial marking a smeared grey color with a distinct heart-shaped outline. He reduces to his inky form when physically damaged or when he wants to "hop into" a book or artwork. Dislikes sunlight/heat, it dries him out.

And because he is no longer within MK's head/the scroll, he's a lot less all-knowing. He is however scarily perceptive of others thoughts and fears, and loudly narrates his opinions on things.

Red Son: "Is that a sentient ink curse?" Mozhi, mockingly: "Is that an emotionally-constipated daddy's boy who almost destroyed the world with a toddler temper tantrum, and still refuses to admit that he's more morally righteous than he lets on?" :3 Red Son, flames up: "Oh its on, you glorified Rorshace test!" MK: *sprays water bottle at them* "Down! Both of you! Mozhi, I said no commentating on people's inner thoughts!" Mozhi: "If y'all actually went to theraphy, then there would be nothing for me to talk about."

This also makes Mozhi the best person to roast somebody when the others are too busy/emotional to do so on their own. And since he mirrors the power of the person he's roasting, it gives him Jester's Immunity to damage from angry Celestials.

The Jade Emperor: "Why is there a loose ink demon in my throne room?" Mozhi, giggling manically as he morphs into an ink!Emperor: "Hahahahahaha~ wow. Ruler of all beings, mortal and divine. And you can't even recognise yourself. Disappointing really. Then again, can't expect much from a glorified intern that was gifted the throne and hasn't done much else since." *Vicious Mockery continues for many hours*

Mozhi is however... kinda bad at admiting and recognizing his own feelings? He's never had any before that weren't projections of others. Is this what true sadness feels like, or does he just need to get some sleep? Can come off as cold, even when trying to be geniune. He's just not used to having emotions or empathy yet.

Enjoys fictional works that dive into the concepts of meta-fiction and medium awareness, ex; Deadpool, Bandersnatch, and Doki Doki Literature Club.

[genericpuff]

Hello! Quiet but appreciative lurker here. Thank you for that post about Freewrite - it articulates perfectly all my problems with it (I saw Rachel's post, went "the fuck is a Freewrite", googled it, went "I mean I don't see the appeal even as someone with ADHD but if it's a cheap little gadget for writing on the go then I guess she can- FUCKING HOW MUCH?!") I understand the concept behind it, I think, but it just rubbed me in the wrong way for a reason I couldn't quite articulate. So, thanks for the as always insightful and well articulated post, and for recommending StimuWrite! I've been in a writing funk for the past 2 months (issues with starting, like you) so I wanna give it a try later on.

As always, love your content! Thanks for sticking around and being you! :D

Aw hi!! <3 I hope you like StimuWrite, I've been wanting to use it more but haven't had the time to just sit down and write. It's definitely a great way to just mash out ideas ! And yeah, definitely way cheaper LOL

Thanks for lurking and saying hello! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[themonotonysyndrome]

okay okay, last question! i swear! i just love your insight.

what are dain and deirdre’s relationship with each of their parents? like for example, how do each of them feel about their mother and father? and how are they similar/different to them?

holy shit, thats literally 3 questions. i’ll be writing a formal apology!

have a fantastic weekend, lovely lady.

🤍💖

Nah, man, don't worry about it! I love answering asks.

Hmm...

I'd say the twins go to Castin for comfort and strength. Castin is always open with the kids and ready to give them hugs and snuggles all around! They would goof off with him, train with him, and go horseback riding with him. They tell him about lessons, their friends, and insecurities without him having to ask them. Deirdre would shriek with glee and throw herself at Castin whenever they roughhousing in the training field. Dain leans close to Castin whenever it gets overwhelming, and that's Castin's cue to be his support pillar, who fends off stares or people trying to approach them.

So yeah, Dain and Deirdre are very close to Castin. They love him very much and hate it when he has to leave the manor. He's somewhere between the fun and still responsible Dad.

Now, Celica...

The twins see her as a Baroness first, Mum second. At least... during their childhood and all the way to adolescence.

The twins couldn't understand why, at certain times, Celica refused to hold them in public or why, whenever they tried to get close, she would subtly move away by three inches.

(She's trying to get them used to how they need to behave among other Noble families. In private, she carries them with no problem.)

And it also doesn't help that Celica has a resting bitch face, so it makes the twins a little hesitant to approach her, especially if she's in her office.

Celica also tends to reprimand them for their table manners during dinners, and you can guess how this upsets Deirdre and frustrates Dain, who just wants to excitedly tell their parents about their day.

Castin actually pulls his wife aside and suggests a compromise—whenever they eat in the dining hall, their children are expected to behave properly. But if they're eating in the garden or in a more casual setting, the kids can be as rowdy as they want.

She agrees, and the kids are pretty happy.

BUT!

If they see Castin as a source of comfort and strength, they see Celica as a sort of... fixer. Saviour. One of the twins fucked up? Mum is on the case, smoothing some ruffled feathers or hiding the body. If they want some info on how to get back at a bully? Celica would happily provide. They want to attend an underground auction ring for illegal goods for unknown reasons? Celica will give her invitation letter to them.

As long as the kids know how to play the game, Celica is more than happy to even the playing field for them.

[arcadiaak]

A thing that i have found quite a number of times is (normally cishet) men saying that they don't like tlt or find the books interesting/relatable and I have to read this shit ass opinions and be like yeah bc it is NOT for you!!!!

Tamsyn Muir is a lesbian woman writing books for other sapphics and nb people about sapphic women doing absolute terrible things and being absolutely terrible people!!! They're gross and nasty and both feminine and masculine at the same time and they say fuck gender and they say we love gender.

The protagonists of the first two books are a butch lesbian who love swords and tits and a gremlin lesbian nun that has a crush on a dead body and they hate each other and love each other. And all the other female characters are deep and well constructed and have their own personalities and details and little things that make them unique!!! And then you have like 8 male characters and only like 2 and a half are alive by the third book.

So yeah you boys can take your lame ass criticism and go kick rocks because this series is not for you and we do not give a single shit if you don't like it. You dont have to relate 100% to something to be able to enjoy it, I have been reading heterosexual romances all my life and guess what??? I am not straight!!! I do not like men!!! And yet I am able to read about that type of relationships and enjoy the plot !!! I am a white person and I like to read bipoc authors bc it gives me a lot of perspective and insight about their experiences!!! Not everything is about you and you should be able to read about things you don't personally relate to and still be able to enjoy them, and if mentally you are like 3 years old and can not put yourself in other people shoes you should just keep yourself out of our narratives! Leave sapphic books to sapphic readers and go fuck yourself

Idk how to better express myself but yeah this is totally bc a crusty white boy appeared on my tiktok fyp saying that he didn't like the books and it's 6AM here and I should be sleeping but yet here I am ranting to the void and like 3 other people. If this does not make sense I am sorry but I am running on 3 hours of sleep and an insane amount of coffee

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 22: Take it out on me

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M

* Warnings: NSFW, language, unprotected p in v sex, fingering, blowjob, oral, squirting, spanking, creampie

* Word count: 5,523ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Special mention: @lexixstewart & @deanscroissant and the friends who don’t have tumblr for giving this a look see as well!

Author's note: Let's goooooooo! I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! Also I just realized this is a heavy smut chapter 😅. Hope y’all enjoy it! It chills out after this lol. I promise lol.

Stella moved around and got comfortable with a quiet groan. She tucked herself back into the solid form behind her and breathed deep, falling back into sleep. Kayce noticed the movement and was quickly reminded of the night before with his best friend behind his closed eyes. He had been awake for some time now, enjoying the peace that came over him in the quietness of Stella’s bedroom.

He opened his eyes and maneuvered himself to be able to look down at her. She faced away from him, but they didn’t stop him from his inspection. She looked beautiful. His marks along her tanned skin from being out in the sun made him smirk and his dick started to stir. Her hair tie was fighting for its life to hold on to the hair that had slipped out during their romp in the sheets.

If he was honest with himself, he was speechless. They’d gotten close to this when they were younger and fooling around, but it was always interrupted. Wrong place at the wrong time, he always told himself.

Now however, they were older. Unattached. He needed to drown in something that wasn’t going to judge him or think he was dangerous. He needed someone that had always been there and never turned away. In the past he would have said Monica without a doubt in his mind. As of her decision to leave him and take their son with her, Kayce was second guessing how true that actually was.

Stella had always been there for him. She always had his back. She even stood up to his father for him. More than once. He couldn’t believe he had been so blind. He placed a kiss on her shoulder. In response she turned to face him. She moved around to find a comfortable spot on her ear. He smiled at the action. He reached his hand out to touch her side and softly trace the doe tattoo there.

“That tickles.” Stella’s sleepy, muffled voice floated up from between them. “You know how I feel about soft touches.” She groaned, wiggling around and scratching her eye before opening them.

When her brown eyes met his, Kayce chuckled low in his throat. He in fact did know that Stella always said, ‘if you’re gonna touch me, just touch me.’ She had never been a soft woman in that regard. “Yeah yeah.” He grabbed her shoulder from behind and pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

Stella repositioned her head and draped an arm over his side. She rubbed back and forth in a relaxing motion. It would have been if his cock wasn’t waking up to her being pushed up against him, naked. “What time is it?” She asked lazily.

“I have no idea actually.” He looked at the light coming in the window. “Looks early still.”

“I don’t even know where my phone is.” Stella scrunched her face up. “I actually don’t know where a lot of shit is at the moment.” They laid in comfortable silence. Both of them thought of what the hell they’d gotten themselves into with this. Stella would be a fool to not admit she hadn’t fantasized about this exact thing happening a time or two.

“We’ve got a full day.” She sounded annoyed.

“We do, but not for a little while.”

“So we don’t have to face reality just yet?” She stretched her hand out on his side.

“We’ve got time.”

She paused, feeling his slowly growing erection against her inner thigh. “I think I like how your mind works, Kayce Dutton.” She smirked.

Kayce leaned toward her. He pulled her hair tie the rest of the way off with his free hand. “Is that right?” He questioned smugly. Running his fingers through her hair, he secured his hand on the back of her head and pulled her in for a kiss.

A small sigh of contentment escaped from Stella. Her leg raised and she hooked it across his hip as if it was second nature to her to open herself up to him. Kayce ran his hand down her side and placed his hand on her behind. They never broke contact, mouths battling for dominance. He propped his foot up to keep her leg on his thigh.

With her spread open, it was convenient for him to reach down and sink his fingers into her wet cunt. His fingers came back out coated in her slick. He ran his middle finger around her clit and she broke free of his lips to let out a low moan. His skillful fingers traced a pattern back down to her opening and dove back in. This time he curled them in a rhythmic pattern, middle finger leading the way, and tapped the front wall of her vagina.

With one hand on his chest and one on his side, Stella gripped him tight. “Fuck,” she huffed out.

“That’s it, baby.” Kayce coaxed her. “Give it to me.” He curled his middle finger inside her and brought his thumb to her clit, massaging them in time.

“Oh god, Kayce.” Stella pushed on his chest moving her center closer to him.

He felt her pussy start to twitch around his fingers. He rapidly pulled his hand away. Stella let out a disappointed sound. They locked eyes and there was a gleam in Stella’s, that on any other day would have Kayce telling people to run for the hills.

Stella quickly detangled herself from his limbs and sat up. She ran a hand through her hair, tossing it to the side. Gently she pushed Kayce’s leg down. She let her hands explore his hips in the soft morning light. His cock standing at full attention in her face. She looked up at him through hooded eyes and licked her hand and wrapped it around the base of his cock.

Kayce let out a hiss through his teeth. “You wouldn’t.”

Stella hummed. “Oh but baby, I would.” She leaned over him fully and enveloped his dick with her mouth. She went down as far as she could without choking herself. Kayce moaned and his eyes fluttered shut for a split second before he snapped them back open, wanting to see the magic happen. Stella swirled her tongue around just above her hand and pulled back, bringing her hand up to his swollen head.

“Fuck,” Kayce dragged the syllable out. He reached out and tucked his hand in her hair as she slid her mouth back down on him further this time. She braced her hands on his hips and went as far as she could. She felt her throat close and Kayce held her mouth on him for a few seconds before allowing her to pop back up for air. She went back to using her mouth and hand in tandem. She brushed against his balls and he shot up causing her to jump back.

He leaned back against her headboard and waved her to his lap. “Now.”

Stella was more than happy to follow the order. She crawled over to him, put her knee next to his hip and hiked the other leg over. Kayce reached down and grabbed his twitching cock and ran it between her folds. She was posted up just high enough that his head could touch her. “Sit down.”

Stella placed her hands on his shoulders. She leaned in to kiss him as she sheathed his cock fully in her wet cunt. They relished in the feeling, both full in different ways. She lifted her head and they locked eyes. Kayce grabbed her hips and slowly started to grind her center onto his. She followed his pattern and took over the work. Kayce licked his finger tips and placed his hand between them, reaching for her clit all while keeping her gaze.

“Shit, Kace.”

“Yeah Stell, I know.” He panted. “Take it.” With his blessing Stella started riding him. He helped her hips hitch up and let gravity slam her back onto him. Each time he connected, Stella let out a moan. Her head flung back and she reached up to play with her nipples, lost in the feeling of him.

“Oh fuck me Kayce,” she gasped.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. He twisted them and pinned her underneath him. Leaning down to kiss her, he readjusted his hips. His pace started slow, but picked up momentum as the minutes went by.

He straightened one of her legs out, but kept the other against his chest. “Oh fuck, Stella.”

“Yes Kayce, oh fuck yes. Please please please,” she pleaded breathlessly. “You’re so deep, oh fuck.”

Their hips slammed together at an outrageous pace. The wet slapping noise just edged both of them further. Stella reached down to pet her clit and that caused her pussy to grip him tighter. “God damn it!” Kayce yelled. His cock drove into her erratically.

“Oh fuck,” Stella gripped him tight with her arms and held on for dear life. The orgasm started to rip through her and her breath left her completely. Kayce’s motion stuttered and she felt the hot come start to slip out of him. She moaned at the fullness. “Oh shit Kayce, yes!”

“Stella,” he choked on his own words, “christ. It’s still going.” He grunted from the effort of his orgasm.

Stella was blissed out from the sounds he made. She felt his load start to seep out of her as he continued to gyrate his hips into her. She encouraged him to keep going. “Fuck that’s it, baby.” She could feel a rebound orgasm creeping up. She gasped for air as the intensity gained traction. “Oh my fucking god,” her eyes rolled back in her head and she moaned out Kayce’s name loudly. Her body convulsed as her orgasm ripped through her.

Kayce held onto her, guiding her through it. “That’s it baby. Come back to me.” When the twitching slowed for both of them Kayce released her other leg and he leaned down to her, softly touching her face. Stella finally opened her blurry eyes and Kayce was able to breathe again. “Welcome back. Was afraid I’d lost you.”

Stella laughed quietly. “I thought I almost lost too. Jesus Christ,” another laugh puffed out of her, “I think I blacked out.”

The pair laid there gazing at each other in the post coital glow. She would be content to lay her with him forever and forget the world. Stella grumbled at the thought of leaving the bed. “We should probably get cleaned up. We still gotta go get your dad.”

“And I’m immediately soft.”

Stella let out a hearty laugh and lightly hit his chest. “Shut the fuck up, Kayce.”

“You go clean up first. I’ll find my phone.” He gently directed her.

She gave him a mock salute and sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed. When her feet touched the floor, she stretched her arms upward. She winced in pain as her bruised ribs grounded her in reality. Kayce grabbed her attention.

“Hey.”

She turned to look over her shoulder at him. “Yes?”

He smirked. “Nothin’. I just wanted to look at you before you walked away.”

Stella rolled her eyes and laughed. She turned away feeling her cheeks heat up, not used to the attention from him in this manner. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower.” Wandering around her room, naked and glowing, she picked out clothes. She picked up her glasses that she’d thrown haphazardly the night before. Stopping in the doorway she looked back at her best friend. “Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone, ya hear?” They shared a laugh and she waltzed away.

Once in the bathroom, she flicked on the light ready to survey the damage. Her hair was wild and her cheeks and chest were rosy. There were traces of Kayce all along her chest and neck. More specifically her shoulder. ‘That’s definitely gonna bruise up. Shit.’

She turned on the shower and while the shower was heating up, she brushed her hair out. She tested the water and hopped in, taking care to wash the sensitive bits and make sure everything was cleaned out properly. Especially after this morning's turn of events.

True to her word, she only took about 10 minutes. Once out, she toweled off and got dressed. Coming out of the bathroom she was met by Kayce at the top of the stairs. His eyes dropped to her shoulder and back up.

“Am I witnessing Kayce Dutton blushing?” Stella teased. “It’s fine, I’m gonna have my coat on anyhow. And I have a hoodie for later.”

He silently tried to get his panic to slow down. “My dad’s ready.”

“Well let’s go then.”

Kayce swung the truck around to the front door of the hospital. John was already walking out. Stella went to reach for the truck door to hop out, but John beat her to it.

“Stella?” John looked between his son and his son's best friend. Something was different. He squinted in suspicion.

She grinned sheepishly at him. “Hi sir.” Stella figured he must not have remembered that she had been with Kayce last night. John backed up a few steps to let her hop out. “You were much quicker on the draw than I expected.”

He smiled at her. “Gotta keep you on your toes, kid.” She slid out of the truck and onto her feet. Secretly standing behind John just long enough to make sure he didn’t fall getting in.

“I think you’ve done enough of that over the last few days.” She laughed. Kayce and her made eye contact around his dad’s head. Kayce subtly nodded his thanks. Stella smiled, shutting the door behind John and opened the back door to hop in.

Things were quiet for a while. Stella watched Montana zip past through the window. John squirmed in his seat and groaned. He cleared his throat. “So Stella, did my son force you to come along?”

Stella and Kayce looked at each other through the rear view mirror. “No. I came with him from the jump yesterday. Well, I got his truck and then I met him at the hospital because he went with you obviously.” She moved her gaze to stare at John's headrest.

“And you sat with him?”

“Yeah?” Stella tilted her head. Not sure what he was getting at. She shrugged as if he could see her and continued. “Then I took him back to my house to let him get some rest like you asked. Since it’s a little closer than the ranch. And well here we are.” There was gruff, but quiet ‘thank you,’ from the front seat. She chuckled. “It’s no problem, sir.” John grumbled at her. “John,” she corrected, remembering he wanted her to call him that. It was hard to get used to.

John was ticking off things he noticed between the duo. Longer looks, Stella had a permanent flush across her cheeks. Something had definitely changed. John went back to moving around and groaned every so often. Kayce and Stella glanced at each other before Kayce asked, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. It just hurts to sit.”

Stella felt the truck swing and hit a pothole. She gave Kayce a sharp look in the mirror.

“Sorry. Didn’t see that one.” Kayce mumbled. The vehicle swerved again and hit another one. Stella cleared her throat. Kayce looked at her in the mirror.

“Jesus, son. Are you aimin’ for ‘em??”

Kayce had enough. “If you know a smoother way back, let me know and I’ll take it!”

“Just,” John decided what he wanted to say. He pointed up ahead. “Pull over right here.”

Kayce abruptly moved the truck and pulled over next to an open gate. John’s door flew open and he slid out as quickly as he could. Kayce leaned his head back against his headrest. “Fuck.”

Stella leaned up in between the seats and propped her elbows on them. She mumbled softly, “you were definitely hitting them on purpose.” Stella poked his shoulder. “Why?”

“I dunno, Stell.”

“You’re upset. I get it,” she sighed, “but maybe a conversation instead of causing him physical pain would have been better?”

“Not with him. Especially when his mind is made up. You know that.”

“Unfortunately I do. Go talk to him. I’ll stay back here.” Stella gave his arm a squeeze and sat back.

Kayce got out of the truck and slowly followed after John. They heard Stella prop her door open. She was being nosy, but only to make sure if it escalated she could jump in.

“Maybe it’s a little soon to come home?” Kayce asked his dad.

“Yeah well I could say the same to you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means you don’t fight, Kayce. Understand me? If wranglers get worked over, then wranglers handle it.” John coached.

“How am I supposed to sleep in the same room with men I won’t defend?”

“You aren’t.” John heaved a breath as he tried to regulate the pain. “I’m gonna fix that problem too.” He walked farther forward. Stella’s eyebrows scrunched together.

“What, you gonna walk home now? I don’t even know who’s field this is.”

“Me neither.” John chuckled humorlessly. “10 years ago I did. I think I finally, finally understand you son.”

“Yeah, well if you wanna explain me to me, I’m all ears.” Kayce tossed his arms outward.

“You know, there’s being scared to die, son, and knowing it’s coming. When you know it’s coming, tomorrow stops factoring into your decisions because you know you’re never gonna see it. Then you, then you live. And you realize you ain’t dead, and you’re not gonna die. And now you gotta face all of them decisions you made. And outta all of that, you gotta figure out how to let yourself start living again.” John advised.

“I don’t know how to do that.”

John laughed. “Yeah. Well. Shit I don’t know.” He softened his harsh tone. “I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out.” He wheeled around to go back to the truck.

John observed Stella’s door propped open with her foot and watched her lazily scroll through her phone. He stopped short and glanced at Kayce. “Did something happen there?”

Kayce almost choked. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Kayce looked around. “I did, but what do you mean?” John glowered at his son. Kayce put his hands on his hips, looking at the ground. “No, nothing happened.” John grunted a response of not believing his son at all and moved to get into the truck.

The truck finally pulled into the long driveway to the ranch. It was a dreadfully silent drive after John and Kayce talked. Kayce slowed the truck down when he spotted Walker coming down the way with his bags in his hands.

Kayce rolled down his window all the way. “Where you headed?” Stella leaned up against the seats again to listen.

“I quit.” Walker stated simply.

“How come?” Stella asked.

“I’m a cowboy. And that’s all. You know what I mean?” Stella shook her head. She had felt bad he had been press gained into doing dirty work when he was just trying to turn his life around.

“You know that’s all we need from you.” Kayce explained.

“That’s not all you needed the other night.” Walker argued back.

“The other night won’t happen again.”

Walker scoffed. “You say that, then someone else says somethin’ different. Can’t figure out who runs this deal.”

John leaned toward Kayce’s window with a grunt feeling his stitches pull. “I run it. And he runs it. You don’t listen to nobody else. Head on back to the bunkhouse.” Walker glanced around, unsure of the mess he had gotten himself into. John prompted him again. “Head on back.” He paused, looking annoyed as ever. “Drop Stella off and take me to the house. We’re makin’ some changes.”

They drove up and around the bend and pulled to a stop outside the barn. Before Stella exited the vehicle she stared at Kayce questioningly. He shrugged, not too sure where his dad was going with any of this.

“I’ll be here when you’re done.” She let him know and slipped out of the truck. She looked at John through his window with a smile. “I’m glad you’re on the mend. If you need anything, holler.”

Up at the house, John had Kayce in his office. He pointed to the papers he laid out in front of him. “Alright just, uh, just sign these two at the bottom. I’ll have Beth fill them out.” He pulled a badge out of a box on his desk. “Here. That was Lee’s.”

“When do I start trainin’?” Kayce asked.

“Soon. But let’s, lets get this bunkhouse thing figured out first.” He looked down as Kayce walked off. “You haven’t mentioned her, Kayce.” John leaned up against his desk with a groan. “Not once. Or Tate. Or why you’re not with ‘em. And then all of a sudden there’s something different between you and Stella.”

“What’s talkin’ about it gonna do?” Kayce splayed his hands out and then slapped his thighs.

“It’d help you form a plan to get them back.” John advised.

“Plans not gonna change the way someone feels.”

“When Lee ran this place, he was honest, and he was fair with everyone. That’s what I need from you. But you can’t be that way with others, son, until you’re that way with yourself.” John gave him the suggestion.

“I miss ‘em.” Kayce admitted and teared up. There was a moment where he second guessed himself because of what happened between him and Stella. He knew he missed them. He knew he wanted his son around. Other than that he didn’t know what he truly wanted anymore.

“What happened?”

“You happened, dad. Then everything happened.”

John caught his son one more time before he left. “Kayce, send Rip up to the house.”

Coming down the hill he caught sight of Stella running in panic to the bunkhouse after Rip. Kayce shouted after her. “Stella! What’s wrong?”

“Rip is out for blood!” She yelled over her shoulder.

Both of them ran through the door. Stella yelled as she squeezed through Jake and Ryan, “make a hole!”

Kayce stomped forward grabbing Rip by the collar, holding him back from attacking Walker. “Hey wait! Rip! Come here!” Kayce groaned with the effort it took to hold Rip back. “My father wants to see you.” Rip tried to jump forward again. Kayce shook him. “Hey hey. Now.”

Stella stood back with everyone else as Rip stormed out. Lloyd had cornered her behind him in the kitchen in case things got bad. She placed herself next to him and asked, “what the hell jumped up his ass?”

“Walker was out of line today. Pulled a knife on Rip.”

“What?!”

“Yeah it was almost real bad.”

“Do y’all need anything?” Stella watched Kayce leave.

“No, other than Rip and Walker to not kill each other.”

Stella chuckled. “If I find the remedy to that, you’ll be the first person I call.”

Jimmy approached Stella. “You wanna watch football with us in a little while?”

She looked around and caught Avery’s eye. They shared a smile. Stella thought it sounded like a great idea. “You know what? Yes, I’d love to.” Ethan raised up from his spot on the couch. “I can grab a chair, Big E.”

“No, take my seat. It’s only right.”

Ethan didn’t talk much, but he was always so sweet to Stella. “Thank you.” She smiled at him and took the seat on the farthest end of the couch. Colby took the spot next to her, and Jimmy plopped himself on the opposite end of the couch. Her brother and Ethan took chairs at the back of the couch. Lloyd and Ethan sat at the table. Walker and Cowboy kept to themselves in the bunkroom.

Jimmy decided this was the time to ask a bunch of stupid questions that none of the guys felt like answering. Colby obliged him, but started to threaten Jimmy when he brought up Colby’s mom. Stella pulled both legs up onto the couch and got comfortable as Lloyd told them all to shut up. She giggled.

The door swung open wide and Rip came in with bags in his hands. He dumped them by the table and everyone got quiet. It was almost as quiet as when Avery showed up. He moved around the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “The bobcats look good,” he muttered while looking at the tv.

Everything seemed to snap back to normal. Friendly conversation picked back up between everyone. Stella went over to Rip. He glanced up at her from his seat. “So what're you doin’ in here? With bags?”

His face hardened with a scowl. “Ask Kayce.”

Stella frowned and made a quiet exit from the bunkhouse. Taking a turn to the left, she rounded the corner and saw Kayce’s truck parked out in front of the lodge. Rip’s place. Her brows pulled together. She moved up to the door and pushed it open. Kayce was standing in the kitchen.

“Kayce what the fuck?”

“What’s wrong?”

“What’re you doing here and why is Rip in the bunkhouse?”

“It was my dad’s decision, Stella. Ain’t nothin’ I can do about it.” Kayce leaned back against the counter.

Stella’s eyes widened. She squinted at Kayce. Furious. “You could’ve said no!”

He raised his voice slightly. “I can’t do that when he wants me to learn how to run this place.”

“There are plenty of other out buildings you could’ve moved into! The trapper cabin, Lee’s cabin,” she listed. “Any of them, yet you chose the foreman’s cabin!”

“I didn’t choose it! My dad did! He made me foreman. And the foreman should stay in the foreman’s house.”

Stella’s mouth dropped open. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ joking.”

“What?” Kayce stopped leaning on the counter. He felt a fight brewing. “You think I can’t do this? I watched my dad and grandpa do it from day one.”

“Kayce, that’s not what I’m saying. Don’t put words in my mouth. The part that bothers me is you knowingly helped kick a man out of a house he’s lived in forever and a day now. Just because your dad said so. How are you okay with that?!” She got up in his personal space. “You and I both know,” she poked his brand scar, “you’ve never listened to your father. Ever. And even when you have, it was barely.”

“I’m tired of fighting it, Stella. Everything has fallen apart. I have to build up from somewhere.”

She laughed out a scoff. “Wow. I never thought I would live to see the day that you turned belly up to your dad.”

He glared down at her. Everything his dad put into his head today ran through his mind all at once. His breathing picked up. He threw caution out the window and grabbed her head with lightning speed. Stella struggled against his chest, but didn’t try to break the kiss. Kayce pushed her backward and backed her up against the back of the couch.

Stella bit his bottom lip and he let out a growl. He released her face. She tried to start yelling again, but Kayce went in for the kill. He didn’t care that the door was unlocked, he didn’t care that the shades weren’t drawn and they were in clear view of anyone who might walk past. He needed her. Now.

Their mouths latched onto each other and they battled for the upper hand. Kayce reached down between them and undid her belt along with the button of her jeans.

Stella almost growled. “God damn it, Kayce.” She was so pissed at him, but intoxicated by him at the same time. She reached down to undo his shirt buttons. When she got to the second layer that was just a t-shirt, she groaned. “Why do you have to wear so many fuckin’ shirts?”

“To make you work for it, sugar.”

Stella rolled her eyes, but pulled the second shirt off of him. She trailed her hands from his shoulders, just to the top of his pants. “God I fuckin’ want you, but you piss me off,” she exhaled. He removed her shirt in one motion, her glasses got caught in her collar and went along with it.

He laughed. “I’ll make it up to you.”

He took her in, standing there full of rage and in her bra and unbuttoned pants. He loved the lace bralettes she wore, even though he’d only seen it in full once. They were attractive, but left enough to the imagination. He decided he wanted it to stay on. He carefully exposed her breasts. He leaned down and took a nipple into his mouth. Stella propped her arms on the back of the sofa and threw her head back. Kayce’s tongue swirled patterns around her nipples one at a time. Since she was being a brat, he bit her nipple a little harder than he normally would.

Stella squealed. “Fuck!” She slapped his shoulder in reprimand.

While he was busy with her top half, she wiggled her hips enough so that her pants fell. She grabbed his pants by the buckle and hastily undid them. She slid her hand beneath the waistband of his underwear and wrapped her hand around his hard cock. It pulsed in her hand with his heartbeat. With a soft grip, she pumped him and felt him harden with her manipulation. She bit her lip. “Kayce, fuck me,” she requested.

Kayce didn’t need to be asked twice. He unlatched from her breasts and pivoted her around. He hoisted her up on the table. He instructed her, “lay back.” He brought her to the edge of the table and pulled her boyshorts off. This was the first real look he’d had of her. “Shit,” he panted.

He placed her legs on his shoulders and dove in. He used his fingers to spread her open for him. Securing his mouth on her clit, he felt her tense. He gently put his hand on her lower abdomen to keep her still. Using his other hand while his mouth sucked a pattern on her center, he brought his free hand up and let his middle finger lead the way into her. He continued tasting her, but pumped his fingers into her rhythmically. Every now and again he would curl them in a come hither motion.

“Oh fuck,” Stella moaned, breathless. She grabbed at his hair while his tongue and fingers drove her insane. The slurping noises that emanated from in between her legs were sinful. Her chest and cheeks went red from the embarrassment. Kayce hit a particularly sensitive spot with his fingers and she gasped. “Jesus Christ, do that again!” He repeated the motion and Stella started to lose control of her lower half. Her slick cunt throbbed against Kayce’s mouth and hand. The feelings and sounds overwhelmed her. Her moans caught in her throat.

His head popped up from between her thighs. His nose and mouth were flushed red from the assault. He rubbed her clit furiously and her moaned finally broke through her. Liquid hit Kayce’s hand and he smiled. “Atta girl, c’mon.” He worked her until she convulsed from his touch.

Stella was breathless. “Fuck I didn’t know I could do that.”

“C’mere.” He helped her off the table and he bent her over the back of the sofa. He couldn’t decide where he wanted her. He just knew he needed her. He pushed his pants off with urgent need. “I need to be inside you.” He grabbed his cock as it jumped at the sight of her bent over for him. Stella trembled at the feeling of his gaze on her dripping pussy. She wanted to be embarrassed by how hot she was for him, but that thought flew away when Kayce thrusted all the way to her cervix. “Fuckin’ hell,” he said through his teeth.

He propped one of her legs up on the couch and hammered into her waiting cunt. He didn’t even give Stella a second to catch her breath. Every thrust seemed deeper than the last and stole her breath from under her. She moaned every time he hit home which spurred him on. “Look at you,” he grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back to look at him. “So good, Stella.” He gave her ass cheek a slap.

“Ooh fuck, ye-es!” She hiccuped in between. “Fuck me, Kayce. Take it,” she cried.

Kayce pulled out of her tight cunt, needing a second to breathe or he’d lose his shit right there. He brought her leg down and turned her around. He leaned her back against the couch and propped her ass on the edge. He lined up his cock and sank back in. Stella used his shoulder to hold herself up and wrapped a leg around his hip. He grabbed it to hold as leverage. That was all the convincing he needed.

He grabbed her other leg behind the knee and pounded into her feeling the release getting closer. Stella moaned his name and pleaded with him repeatedly. She wanted to come just as bad.

“Kayce, fuck,” Stella wasn’t able to form a coherent thought. She was reeling from how hard he was hitting her. It felt like he was in her stomach with every thrust. She reached her fingers down to her clit. She rubbed in time with his thrusts.

“Fuck I’m gonna,” the ferocity of her orgasm cut her off.

Kayce groaned as she tightened around him. His thrusts sped up as he felt his release shoot out in hot streams in her cunt. “Ahh fuck, Stella!” His hips stuttered as he lost momentum.

As Kayce slowed, Stella’s head dropped back against the couch as she heaved. “Fuck,” she exhaled as he pulled out of her.

“You okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

She leaned up on her elbows and chuckled. “No. I’m okay, but I’m gonna go take care of,” she glanced down at her center, “this.”

Kayce backed up and Stella planted her wobbly feet on the ground. “You know this doesn’t negate the fact that you kicked Rip out of his house, right?” She felt his cum start to leak out of her. She made her trek to the shower quickly before any of it could hit the ground. “I’ll be back.”

Feeling refreshed, Stella stepped out of the bathroom in her towel. On the bed she spotted clothes. They were his. They were probably for after his shower. She looked around, but didn’t see Kayce anywhere. “Kace? Where'd you go?” She heard the fridge close. She wandered to the doorway and looked out at him. “Are those clothes on the bed for you?”

He spun around. “No. They’re for you. I’ll pick some out now to go shower.”

His answer was clipped. He was still annoyed at her. Stella backed up out of the door to let him by. She reached out and grabbed his arm. “Hey, wait,” she whispered. He halted and looked down at her. She reached up to tuck some hair behind his ear. “I’m sorry for taking it out on you, but your dad really gets on my nerves sometimes with the way he does shit, you know?”

He gazed down at her in silence. Bending down, he kissed her softly. “Yeah me too, Stell,” he sighed. “Me too.”

She let him go and quietly got dressed. She curled up in the bed on the side closest to the wall.

By the time Kayce opened the door and turned off the bathroom light, he found Stella fast asleep. He smiled sadly at her. He didn’t know what to do and she was stuck in his mess, yet again. Rip’s words from a few weeks ago came back to him.

He rolled his eyes and went and climbed into bed next to his best friend. They would figure it out.

[whiteoutzz]

Please give me your insights/headcanons on whiteout I want to understand her more but I don't really have a lot of headcanons on her. I can't just get a grasp on her character and come up with anything that makes sense (I also don't want to accidentally be ableist when headcanons stuff for her especially since I got into writing and I don't want to write something accidentally ableist.)

Ummm i was not really sure how to approach this one, but ill try! I think its alright to not understand her as a character, as we don't even get to know her that well.

From the surface level things I guess: She is subdued at quiet and had atypical way of speaking and thinking. She likes art and has hard time relating or understanding other dragons, but we briefly see her in comfortable environment, showing that she does have specific confidence to her. And... yeah that is not everything, but alot of it is. Truth be told, we dont know much about Whiteouts internal life.

I think what makes her click to me, is understanding that the text purposefully makes her unknown. If its good or bad writing choice i dont know, but we do get few references to how Whiteout is much more aware of things going on. Depth implied but not explored, left to readers interpretation.

But ignoring what i think of this writing choice, it does serve its purpouse. There is a barrier between Whiteout and other dragons, even dragons she loves. She does not understand them, and might never be able to understand some things, but she is also probably aware of the upcoming doom. She is observant after all, atleast with specific things.

Note. Alot of the things say there this are speculation and im not fully sure if they were intended to be read that way. Because we dont know alot about her, so im just filling the gaps.

Okay so. she watches her brother slowly spiral away, and maybe she always knew that was going to happen. In general her life is pretty miserable, and i dont think she is exactly satisfied with that. With art she creates, while its her interest, its also a coping mechanism, imagining of a better future. Before Thoughtful she doesnt have any real friends beside her brother. (i know that before darkstalker assassination she hangs out within his friend group and plays boardgames but i think while they are on positive relations, i dont think she is fully friends with them. They are friendly but not friends you know?) Id imagine them (Whiteout and Darkstalker) being closer when younger, as they had only eachother, but as Darkstalker is "one going wild" she is left behind in his shadow.

She is used to feeling like not a real person (dragon). She is just an accessory to others, watcher of pseudo god dragons tearing the world apart. Everything is slipping away from her, and soon she looses her family and is left alone with Thoughtful.

Whiteout in general lacks autonomy, both in text and within the story itself. She does not make things happen, but things happen to her. She has no say in the game other dragons are playing.

And i do think she is frustrated by this, it slowly showing overtime.

Also one aspect that intrigues me, but chapter two, before Whiteout hatches. Obviously its biased since its baby Darkstalker pov, but the "Whiteout does not hear the moons" thing. Her either not caring enough or not being aware of the silver right. It shows contrast between her and her brother, with her not desiring power, or maybe feeling apathy towards her place in universe (okay this one might go little far as speculation goes but whatever). It makes you wonder how Whiteout would be if she was 3moons born animus, but that is left for aus to speculate on.

As for heacannons um. Alot of them are mostly minor projections for me, like her having chronic pain or ocd or a lazy eye or whatever. Also shes autistic, obviously, but with her coding its. Yeah she is not canonically autistic but she very much reads as so.

But she also canonically has synesthesia, which i dont have. So um.

Also im sorry but i would need specific examples of headcanons you have for her, but you are probably good, but also i dont know since i dont have any example of that. Umm.

Is this good enough of a response?