#but yeah it was a christmas sword because my grandmother is nice to me and didnt ask too many questions

[vee-lociraptor]

tell me more abt your sword. where did you get it

christmas sword!! had a big swords/knives phase when i was like sixteen because i just thought they were neat. wanted a sword for christmas. received a sword. it's not sharp and is essentially a prop but it looks cool and it's got a good amount of weight to it. could be a recreation for a movie? i just think it's neat.

[hopeful-starship]

Welcome to the 1st installment of “Chloé finds cool ask lists and answers them despite nobody asking”! This one is courtesy of @bgbygirl, go check them out!

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?  Heck yeah i do. I haven’t found mine yet, but he’ll come around. I believe it.

💌- diary or journal? I’d rather journal! I sometimes just write out my feelings on loose paper when i feel bad, but i’ve rarely kept a diary for more than two weeks.

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? Holy WOW this is difficult. I’m a mix of chunks from a lot of characters, but i feel like i’m the closest to Cath from Fangirl (a wonderful book by Rainbow Rowell, which i highly recommend you check out).

💕- are you crushing on someone? I was literally three days ago (you’ll know if you follow my crush chronicles tag - which you probably don’t because it’s not that interesting), but i’m thankfully getting over it. I love boys and i love crushing, but he wasn’t good for me - at least not in a romantic setting.

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? I’d say rain. If i’m kissing a boy, i probably find him handsome, and i want to be able to see him. 

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis I’m on my laptop so i can’t use emojis, but i’d say my aesthetic as a mix of “80s rock dad”, “horny on main” and “pastel cinnamon roll”. It’s a weird mix. 

🍼- what is your favorite memory? The 2nd time i met Captain America in Disneyland Paris this summer. I went to shake his hand (because the 1st one did that) and he said “no, i’ll hug you if that’s okay”, and that was THE CUTEST SHIT. I blog a lot about Bohemian Rhapsody at the moment, but i love the Avengers A LOT, and Steve is my favorite, so that was very special.

🌸- what is your favorite flower? Not orchids, surprisingly! I like them, but i like how the word sounds more than i like the flower itself. Is lavender a flower? I’m going to say it is. Lavender is my favorite flower.

💖- have you ever been in love? I’ve said i was in love a couple times in the past, but looking back, i don’t think i was. I was very fond of them, but i don’t think i was -in love-.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla? Strawberry! (Side not: i’m realising i changed a lot over the past few months, because the answer’s been vanilla my whole life)

🍯- describe your favorite smell I have two, and they’re extremely unrelated lol. The first one is speculoos cookies being baked, and the second one is that generic boy perfume smell (my friends say that doesn’t exist and i’m crazy, but i know what i’m talking about and i hope you do too)

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? I generally have trouble with this question. The first thing that came to my mind was: i wish i could be sure everyone i love knows i love them, and i wish i wouldn’t constantly doubt they love me back.

🍪- cookie dough or cookies? Cookie dough. Cookie dough always. Any day of the week. I love cookies, but cookie dough is my favorite thing.

☕- coffee or tea? Neither! I don’t like hot drinks!

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? I’m fascinated by the ocean, so give me those mermaids any day!

🍂- what’s your middle name? My middle name is Jeanne! It was apparently two of my great-grandmothers’ name.

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? I had no idea what this meant, so i googled it and apparently my sun sign is Pisces, my moon sign is Taurus and my rising sign is Leo! Which apparently means i’m affectionate and emotional (very true), like to be praised and appreciated (also true), and am even-tempered and calm (not so true).

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? I love sitting/lying next to a window and listening to the rain fall while reading or writing!

🍭- how tall are you? I’m 6′2! (188 centimetres) (basically a fuckin giant)

💒- which show would you want to live in? I know the question probably means TV show, but i’m twisting it around and understanding musical, because damn i love theatre. My answer is Mamma Mia. OF COURSE IT IS. I want to spend my days dancing around a greek island and singing Abba songs at handsome dudes. (this might be a later question, but spoiler: Mamma Mia is my favorite movie)

🎄- what is your favorite holiday? Christmas! I fuckin love Christmas! I’m currently sitting in my Christmas pyjamas (yes, on November 17th, leave me alone)

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite? I’ve never had any candles (my mum thinks they’re too dangerous), but i generally like those that smell like cinnamon and apples.

🎶- favorite song right now? You may have noticed i have a bit of an obsession with Bohemian Rhapsody. My current favorite song is It’s Late by Queen, which i discovered when i was extensively researching their discography after seeing the movie. Oh my wooorld, that guitar riff gets me railing.

💘- 3 ways to win your heart? 1) Sing/play any instrument ever 2) Be kind 3) Have a lot of hair The truth is, if you’re a guy and you’re (even remotely) kind and attractive, i’ll fall in love with you, even if it’s for 20 minutes.

🍩- current mood? A bit weird, if i’m honest. I’m generally good, but it feels like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and a depressive episode is threatening to drop on me.

❄️- what is your favorite season? This is a difficult question for me, there are things i love and things i dislike about every season! But i’ll say spring, because i can go out without a jacket, but it’s not too warm yet.

💍- your current relationship status? Married to Gwilym Lee (jk lol, i’m single as all hell - someone date me please, i’m so alone)

📷- a photo of yourself

Here, have this picture of me being a Captain America fangirl in Disneyland Paris (i’m going back in three days and the excitement is UNREAL)

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? OH NO. I’m not one of those who can’t accept a gift, but i can’t help but wonder what i did to deserve it and stress about it.

🕊️- 3 habits you have? 1) Arriving at college at least 30 minutes before my class starts and sitting on the floor outside of the classroom, reading or watching videos 2) Dancing a bit too enthusiastically at bus stops 3) Skipping class when i feel overwhelmed and hiding in the library/in a café with something to eat and something to drink, and watching a heckton of videos in hopes of making myself feel better

🦄- how do you perceive yourself? Well it depends on how i feel when you ask the question - but generally, i think i’m a rather good person, or at least i try my best to be. I’m as kind as possible. It’s going sound conceited, but i’m a bit too smart for my own good - which means i overthink everything and end up in a state of existential crisis 9 times out of 10. Physically, i’m mostly ok with how i look - although it sure would be nice if i could find ONE guy who thinks i’m alright too.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you? I’m not answering this question, because i don’t want to end up in aforementioned state of existential crisis. Feel free to tell me how you perceive me though, i’m interested!

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys I’ll answer for guys, since they’re what i’m attracted to! Smile is something super important for me. I love hair, especially when they’ve got a lot of it (hello Brian May). And i seem to have a thing for cowboys and guitarists. (...again, hello Brian May)

🍓- one secret about yourself The main reason i obsess over “celebrities” (and even daydream about being with them) is because it’s easier than falling for guys i know irl and getting rejected.

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush? Like a FUCKIN IDIOT. During the first week i had a “thing” for my former crush, i couldn’t speak to him without stumbling on my words, and i almost fell on him on the tram. I can’t function properly when i like someone.

💔- the reason behind your last breakup? I’ve never been with anyone, so i’ve never had a breakup; so i’ll tell the reason behind my last rejection. Thankfully it didn’t hurt too much, he was in love with one of my friends and she loved him back, and i just knew they’d be good for each other. So just before they got together, we talked it out, just to clear the air, and so he knew that i wasn’t fully in love, i just liked him because he was cute and kind, that of course i wouldn’t do anything to interfere with their relationship, and that i really wanted us to stay friends. He was an absolute peach and he’s one of my best friends today!

💬- what your last text message says? It’s two heart emojis! (to a friend, don’t imagine any boys are talking to me)

🎥- what show are you currently binging on? I’m not watching any show at the moment, i’m trying to catch up on my Watch later Youtube playlist! But i did have half a Harry Potter marathon with a friend this weekend.

⛅- what is your morning routine? Brush my hair, tie it up in a ponytail (or a bun if it’s really greasy woops), wash my face, shower, dress, pack my bag, have breakfast, fiddle on my phone if i have extra time, go!

💗- who do you miss? I miss my friend Antoine. I know we’ve seen the best of each other, but sometimes i just miss the guy he was when i was 15.

🥀- last time you cried? Wednesday afternoon! While, you guessed it, watching Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s been 4 times, but i still cry a lot.

🎁- when is your birthday? March 3rd!

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience? I try to steer clear of anything even remotely scary or creepy, i hate that kind of stuff.

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you? I really don’t care as long as the connection’s there, but life has shown that i get along better with people that are a bit older than me!

🎀- any question you want I’m going to make this question into “where do you hope to be in three years?” because i think it’s interesting. If my plans don’t change, i’ll be in Brighton, taking another degree which i’ll hopefully enjoy this time. Which means i’ll have my own flat again - i hope it’s somewhat near the sea, so i can go quite often. I also hope i made friends that are on the same wavelength as i am, and who knows, maybe even found a good guy?

If you read this whole ordeal, thank you so much lol! That was really fun! I hope you have a nice day!

[lytefoot]

Okay, now I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on quietly damaged Neville.

So Neville keeps it together pretty well, he isn’t a great big fluffy ball of post-traumatic stress like Harry is. He’s got some coping skills on him, too. There were, at least, some stable and marginally supportive adults in his life growing up.

But think about Neville’s life for a minute. This is gonna get dark, kids.

Harry’s parents are dead, and that’s very sad. But Neville’s parents are alive, but not there. He goes and visits them regularly–we know he goes to see them every year at Christmas. This is not a happy life for a small child. His mum gives him little bits of rubbish, because she knows she loves him even if she doesn’t recognize him.

And Neville knows what happens to his parents. His grandmother is proud of her son, as well she should be, but she takes Neville’s unwillingness to talk about them for being ashamed of them, rather than, like, everything about them being intensely painful. Moving on.

Neville is eight before he shows any signs of magic. With his great-uncle trying increasingly desperate things to either get magic out of him or kill him. Like, his uncle threw him out of a high-story window. This is deeply not cool, you guys. In CoS, Neville says something to the effect of, “Everyone knows I’m almost a squib, anyway.” This is pretty much his internal monologue. I’m pretty sure “You’re worth twelve of Malfoy” is just about the first value-affirming thing that anyone’s ever said to my boy.

And here’s the thing: it’s true. Neville is just not very good at magic. His grades scrape by, but think about the actual fights we see him in. At the Department of Mysteries, he gets his nose broken, can’t say any spells, and pokes a Death Eater in the eye. During the Battle of Hogwarts, he’s running around with a stonking great sword. Heroic? Yeah! But not so much wizardly. He’s brilliant at Herbology, right? Herbology is one of those magic-adjacent disciplines (though I do think some plants require, like, magical tending). So he never has anything to contradict “almost a squib anyway.” That statement isn’t really false; it’s just that it shouldn’t impact his sense of self-worth the way it does.

It doesn’t help that he’s short, chubby, and kind of awkward.

What does he do during seventh year? He spends a year making a**holes pick on someone their own size, or at least, someone his size. Listen, wizards have lots of ways of hurting someone that aren’t going to leave a stonking great gash across the middle of your face; if you’re sharpening knives on someone’s face, you’re making a point. (If you walk around for the rest of your life with a great big scar across the middle of your face, you’re making a point right back, but I digress.)

So here’s the thing about my boy Neville that keeps me from shipping him with stable pair-bonding.

One, he has an incredibly low sense of self-worth. Worse than Harry’s. After the War, he actually had a certain amount of prestige, that might have helped… except that almost everything nice anyone had to say about him included the word finally. “You’re finally living up to your father’s legacy” feels so much different than “you’re living up to your father’s legacy.”

Two, Neville has zero confidence that the world isn’t going to fall apart any day now. But the first war has never not been touching his life–he gets reminded of it every time he sees his parents–and he was right in the thick of the second war. Neville is not complacent in peace. Unlike Harry, he can’t get a sense of security out of seizing the reigns of power, because he doesn’t have the same outsize sense of personal responsibility.

Third… listen, Neville knows exactly what happens to his parents. His grandmother is f***ing proud of them–she has every right to be, but there are things that my baby doesn’t need to know. By the time he’s a teenager, Neville has read the court transcripts, all right? Bellatrix Lestrange had them for days. In Neville’s mind, at least… one of them could have gotten away, if either of them could ever have left the other to that. One of them could have made it. He could have had one of them.

Neville knows he could never run away and leave someone he cares about. So he doesn’t ever want anyone to care enough about him that they wouldn’t leave him and run.