#but yeah faith my beloved for all your touches and holding <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[bloodfreak-boyking]

faith is an excellent episode for many reasons the main one being how much sam gets to touch dean under the guise of "you're literally dying and i'm gonna help you whether you like it or not" <3

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Icarus( did I spell that right? ) my beloved does you have any yandere c! Technoblade and philza with a shy reader stories? 👀

Feel free to take as long as you like I'm in no rush hopefully you don't mind me requesting alot if it's a problem then I will stop requesting as much as I do

Agian I love your writing have a lovely day or evening my beloved(platonic!!)

:D

Darling Mooshroom, I adore you so much (platonically). You have my full permission to fill my inbox with any and all requests that come to mind. I love the ideas you give me and you're the only one who has requested more than once (other than anons but I can't tell with them.)

Also. Philza Philza Philza I FINALLY GET TO WRITE FOR THIS MANS WOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry ignore me. Unfortunately, this story will be shorter than my normal ones because I used up the majority of my brainpower on other stories and I feel bad for keeping you waiting <3 (plat)

(Techno is not part of sleepy bois in this story. Instead, Techno and Philza are ancient gods and set more in like Ancient Egyptian times?? Really low key Yandere in this story)

TW: Yandere, mentions of a creep, getting robbed

Mortal of Gold (Yandere!C!Techno x GN!Shy!Reader x Yandere!C!Philza)

Was it your appearance? Or your shy personality? Perhaps it was the various amounts of golden chains and jewels sprinkled strategically all over your person...

Crows and Piglins were naturally attracted to gold, so that's how Techno justified himself, but Philza wasn't stupid, he's been through this many times before. He knew what being in love was.

But they had never felt so... Strongly towards a mortal before.

The God of Blood and War continued trying to deny his feelings for you, but he always found himself watching you shuffle around the Ancient DreamSMP, curled in on yourself as you walked to and from shrines for the gods that you had made.

Philza, the God of Survival and Crows, leaned over a bowl of ink and water and stared into the swirling designs, watching as it shifted into a picture. He saw a lovely figure kneeling at the base of a statue, placing a bowl of fresh bread and cakes, before lighting some incense and standing up, their head dipped in silent prayer.

The winged god chuckled softly and adjusted his large hat before cupping his hands together in a bowl shape. Slowly, with very minor concentration, a golden chain appeared with an emerald heart shape dangling off of it. With a small but sharp whistle, a black crow swooped in through the window and perched itself on his arm, "Yes Dadza?" It chirped telepathically, tilting its head curiously.

"Hello, my child. I would like you to place this on the young mortal's doorstep. I trust you will be able to find it?" He smiled softly and held out the piece of jewellery to the feathered creature who picked it up in its beak.

"Sure, Dadza!" The bird gave a squawk before hopping over to the bowl of ink and water to study the appearance of the mortal. "Oh! It's (Y/n) again! Didn't Technoblade recently cause a man to meet his end because he was rude to them?"

The man sighed, rubbing his face with his free hand, "Yes, Techno is brash like that... I should speak to him about that after... Now, be on your way. I would like them to receive the gift before they start putting their faith in other gods." With another telepathic chirp, the bird quickly took flight and headed out the window. Once his beloved crow, Chat, was gone, he leaned over the bowl again.

The mortal was now praying to Technoblade's shrine, after giving an offering of beer and herbs with the incense now re-lit. Phil decided to disperse the image with a wave of his hand, beginning to make his way to his old friend, the God of War and Blood.

With a flurry of black feathers, Philza landed on the balcony Techno had designed specifically for him and closed his wings neatly behind him, "Techno?" He called, walking through the red curtains into the room of the God. When his emerald-coloured eyes landed on the tall man, he discovered that he was hunched over a large bronze dish like he had been moments ago.

"Yeah, I'm here." The pink-haired male sighed, adjusting his glasses before pushing his long hair out of his face as he looked up from the bowl. "What do you need, Phil?"

"I'm here to discuss (Y/n). That mortal we are both smitten with?" He watched as the god's cheeks visibly turned pink despite his tough demeanour, causing Philza to chuckle into his hand, "Relax. It's obvious. And I know how you had one of your followers beheaded that poor fisherman."

"Millionaires. Not followers." Techno retorted with a scoff as he stepped away from the bowl filled with likely water and ink. "In my defence he deserved it. He should've known better and held his tongue when being in the presents of one of my worshipers."

Phil wasn't able to hold back his sigh, "Millionaires? Good grief Techno, you're just making up words at this point. Besides, that's not the main reason I flew out here," The Survival God's eyes suddenly darkened, catching Techno off guard but nonetheless made him happy, "I heard... That (Y/n) has been getting threats from the village of L'Manberg."

Techno frowned at the thought of anything happening to their favourite mortal. The images that appeared in his mind caused the voices in his head to roar in anger, demanding for human blood to be spilt across his shrines.

"Yeah. I suggest we put a stop to it. But, I do want to meet our little mortal..." Philza smirked a bit, raising his hand in an attempt to stop Techno from seeing how violent his thoughts were becoming towards the humans.

-

You couldn't help but smile as you saw the new jewellery that had been placed at your doorstep, scooping it up into your hands and taking a moment to put the necklace and solid gold armband on. You were quite aware that the vast amounts of jewellery covering your body made you a target for thieves, but you trusted in your gods to keep you safe.

On your eighteenth birthday, your village had dressed you up and offered you to the gods in exchange for safety and a good harvest, chaining you in the middle of the dessert on a stone platform. You would have perished from starvation had a black crow not have carried a basket filled with the ripest and fresh fruits you had ever had. That's when you knew that Philza was watching over you.

Technoblade had started watching over you not long after that. On a trip into the village for yeast to make bread to offer Philza, a creep had cornered you in an alleyway. He began making disgusting remarks towards you, but a man with glowing gold eyes and red sclera came up and pummeled him into the ground before completely vanishing. It had been a high priest of Technoblade's Syndicate temple who told you that it was the God of Blood and War who saved you.

"Look," Techno whispered under his breath as he saw you standing in your doorway with a soft smile. Philza peaked around the corner as well, watching you attach the jewellery to your (s/t) skin with a smile of his own, "I take it the necklace is from you?" The tusked male asked as he pulled the hood on his cheap commoner clothing up to cover his noticeable pink hair.

Phil did the same, trying to hide his inhumane blue eyes from view, while also trying to shoo away Chat who was relentlessly teasing the two of them, "Sh! Chat, it's not like- No. Shut. WHat?! I'm not being a creep!" He hissed to the blackbird, trying to bat it away with his free hand, while Techno was snickering to himself, "Wait, no! This is my bread, (Y/n) made it for me! Get your own!"

After watching his old friend get bullied by Chat for a few minutes, he turned back to watch you walk back out of your home, holding the cup of beer you had placed at his shrine earlier today. Your offerings were always his favourite... He would burn this entire village down if they tried to chain you into the desert again... Actually.. That was a good idea...

The two gods silently followed behind you, watching you nervously try your best to avoid social conversation, but they noticed how the other mortals seemed to look down upon you for wearing so much golden jewellery.

"H-he-hello..." You murmured out meekly as you approached the man selling fruits and different herbs. Leaning forward, you carefully inspected the cranberries and cinnamon specifically, knowing that they were Philza's and Technoblade's favourite offerings.

You heard footsteps walking behind you, but because the market was busier than normal today, you decided to brush it off. Until you felt someone gently grab the golden jewellery dangling from your ears, giving it a light pull, "Solid gold, ey? Aren't you a poor little peasant?" A voice male voice cooed softly in your ear, causing you to spin around quickly, backing up until you hit the table that all the fruit and herbs were placed on.

Dream. The high priest of DreamXD's temple. The God of Control and Manipulation. This man truly believed he was the walking incarnate of the god himself, and even named himself after the god! Truly a maniac...

"Dream..." You murmured softly, your body trembling and flinching away from his touch, "I-I'm not giving them to you for you to offer up to your twisted god... I worship Technoblade and Philza... No one else."

The masked man growled in annoyance before he snapped his fingers and two men in masks grabbed onto your shoulders before beginning to tear the golden jewellery off of your body. Snapping the golden chains off from around your neck and wrists, pulling the earrings out of your ears and the golden bands from around your biceps. The entire time you yelped and begged for them to leave the gifts you had received from your gods alone, everyone else around you putting their heads down and averting their eyes, pretending not to see you.

A flurry of black feathers clouded your vision and you heard three hard thuds before a loud barking voice echoed through your ears.

"How DARE you!"

"Techno! Help me burn this damned village to the ground!"

[s4kasaki]

hello!! hope you’re doing well!! may i request hcs of natsume, kanata and mika baking with their s/o?? thank you in advance <33

so many natsume requests recently..♪ my natsume lover heart is overwhelming!!

♡ — mika, kanata and natsume | baking with their s/o!

‣ tws/cws: slight dehumanization? on mika ( concidering himself a doll again )

‣ reader: gender neutral - they/them

‣ author's note: writing for kanata should not have been this complicated.

☆ — NATSUME.

Was up for the invitation the moment you offered, another way to show how good he can become at something with you? hell yeah! He was familiar with baking, he won't openly admit to the fact he did not succeed at it much the first time. “baking you say? Fufufu” he smirks, intrigued by the thought of baking with his beloved soulmate

Natsume requested the wonderful idea of making a magical themed cupcakes, something that gave off magician but as well with a hint of an evil wizard! And you loved the idea— or the enthusiasm, it wasn't easy to design but you were going to give it an attempt—and you had Natsume along the way to assist! Surely this would be a memorable experience;

it was already the most CHAOTIC thing in the world when you two began to do anything in the kitchen, who knows what he’d do, that was always the game he’d intend that he’d play; would he put spells in the batter? love spells of the sort so you love him even more? shower you with flour and say it was an accident?

would act so professional with you, secretly, as a way to, of course, impress you.

very keen to make sure not a single bad happens and so you don't get hurt, he'd hate for his sweet kitten to burn a finger or so.

“KitTEN, please don't touch the stove, I don't want YOU to get hURT— y/n wAIT--”

the two of you will work at least two hours trying to decorate a singular cupcake to pure perfection. like go all the way out even though Natsume is this close to trying to use his magic to do it because it's just ONE cupcake out of all the other 20 you've made– but he doesn't wanna ruin the fun that's being shared.

so very in love with wiping the corner of your mouth if you've gotten a crumb or two on your lips while he pulls the most devious smirk on his lips.

“Natsume...” you flushed in his grip, he was holding onto your chin as he wiped some frosting off the corner of your mouth. “Fufufu, what is it?” he smirked again, his devious ways were never-ending when you two were alone, it just serves his purposes

“The cupcakes are done I think..” what an excuse.

☆ — KANATA.

“hmm ‘baking’ with producer-san? ” Kanata smiled earnestly as he seemed to keep the same seemingly sleepy representation he carried while still inside your bathtub filled with water, he was actually a little fond of the activity I can tell you that. You nodded your head, ingredients were already placed on the kitchen table, and you were inspired by his merman attire to create mermaid-like cupcakes.

For onetime in hours he existed the water that has seemed to have overflowed the bathroom, there would be mopping to do afterward. “let's get going~”, slumping over your shoulder and following the footsteps you made directed into the kitchen;

he's focused, he's interested, he's trying to show you the ropes too! lovers help one another right!

Absolutely adores the way you get so happy when he compliments you on something. “wow~ you did a good job♪” and how you get all red over a small little compliment of validation!

like Natsume: would hate for you to get hurt, that's the last thing he wants! so he's keeping a close eye on you as well so you don't hurt yourself. <3

“Do I put eggs the batter inside now, y/n~”

Okay he may be a little clueless to baking, he's done it once and that was it, but he's very faithful that with you by his side he'll improve~ and become a little better a baker than he was before☆

He's taste testing all the time! It's really reasonable to test-taste you know? What if it's not enough .. something ♪

He's really mesmerized by how well you do on your own in the kitchen, so you might happen to catch him staring at you with his lazy demeanor!

The way your concentrated face scrunches up from your nose, especially when you're a little too close to the cupcake and it's frosting to where it gets on your nose? Meanwhile decorating another cupcake with a Lil mermaid tail and sea-like sprinkles, his heart flutter just a little bit more than it was before.

“ding~♪” said Kanata as if mocking the oven once you finished decorating the cupcakes with frosting and sprinkles, he was always such an optimistic character on outside.

“they’re done, do you want one?”

“aahh~♪” nom

☆ — MIKA.

“b...bakin’ you say? w..with you?” he was flustered by the sudden ask at first, but the random jolt of joy hit in very sooner than expected! while staring at you his smile began to form, it leaned with nervousness–but he agreed to try to assist you in the kitchen, after all, wasn't that a doll's purpose? He thought.

you two had no idea what the designers were gonna be for whatever you planned to make, maybe macaroons! maybe a style that's something unique and pretty!

the most wholesome thing in the world, a nervous little thing— afraid he's gonna mess something up by being clumsy. (╥﹏╥)

though— he doesn't usually eat these type of sweets often because tummyaches are bound to occur and neither of you would want that. But baking with you, his own soulmate, it made his heart kind of flutter even though it was something so simple.

he definitely went on a whole shopping spree to get all the things you needed beforehand, frosting sprinkles— oh yeah! and a bunch of food coloring because he could not decide which color to choose from. forgive him... you allowed him to surprise you with the supplies, so a surprise you shall get... (• ▽ •;)

“y/n, where'd the frostin’ go?”

did he forget the frosting, or leave it at the store by accident– he was being in a rush.

“Mika, did you leave it in the bag?” you asked, his face flushing with embarrassment

“mm... it's not here!” already in quite the panic, you had to assure him things would be fine and there was no need for him to panic, you just needed to look for it. And after twenty minutes of looking for two small things of vanilla frosting, he finally found it inside the car in the back seat.. “y/n! I found it!”

“good gracious—”

He watched you decorate the cupcakes and went :

“(つ≧▽≦)つ can I try!”

his cupcake may look like a messier rip-off version compared to yours— they're still eatable right? So that's all that matters! Mika was more than happy to eat it himself so nobody else had to

the flour spilled at least 4 times while he tried to put it in a measuring cup, the cleaning that had to be done after you two were finished was HORRENDOUS.

And it's not like he didn't feel bad about it, because he did and he had to be comforted about it– but! not everyone's amazing on their first try, y’know! ( ╹▽╹ )

“... sorry, y/n. It doesn't look as good as yours, I'm jus’ not good at this...” he mumbles, he felt embarrassed even if this was his first try—

He's so blind to his talent sometimes.

“Well, mine isn't any better either! And I'll eat yours thank you very much! ♪” you smiled as Mika's head jolted up, and the result of that was adorable to you.

[jisungsplatforms]

Dahlia

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x gn! reader

Genre: angst; hanahaki au, non idol au

Warning: language, mentions of cheating, tiny tiny spoilers & allusions to some of my other fics if you squint hard enough. Some elements of Felix x reader (purely platonic tho)

Note: this does NOT portray Stray Kids’ true personalities. This is all purely FICTIONAL

*this is one of my longest fics i’ve ever written so sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

(Based off of (G) i-dle’s “Dahlia)

(Page II)

Dahlia:

“Signifies a lasting bond and commitment between two people;

symbolizes elegance, inner strength , change, and dignity...”

Hwang Hyunjin is bad news.

He’s a player, he’ll leave once he gets bored of you.

Hwang is no good for you. You deserve so much better, Y/n.

That was all you heard ever since you started dating Hyunjin. Different variations of it, all with the same connotation. People warned you, left and right, whenever they saw you two together. But you didn’t care, you choose to love him anyways, despite the rumors you’ve heard about him. It was all...

...Blind love. Sure, you fall in love fast, and every single time, you’ve been cheated on; but you knew that he was different, you could feel it. You had faith in Hyunjin.

Today was your one year anniversary. You sighed at the calendar hanging on your wall, a vase with a single dahila (given by Hyunjin a few weeks ago) sat on a table beside it.

“Did you know back then, lovers used to gift their beloved dahlias as a sign of everlasting love and commitment?” Hyunjin said with a pretty smile, holding a bouquet of a dozen dahlias.

“Oh really now?” you giggled, taking the bouquet into your hands. “Are you trying to tell me something?” You tilted your head, your eyebrows raised playfully.

“Hmm. Only that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he cheekily said. “And that I will love you, and only you, even for the our next 100 lifetimes.”

You writhed in giddiness, touched by his words. “I can’t wait then,” you said, planting a soft kiss onto his plump lips, the two of you smiling into the kiss.

That was a year ago; 3 months into your relationship, probably the happiest year you’ve ever had. Every day with Hyunjin felt magical, like it was too good to be true. He was nothing but gentle with you. He held your hand as if you were glass. His eyes stared into yours as if you had the shiniest of diamonds for eyes. His beautiful smile always made your heart flutter, but his kisses was what really did the job. You thought that you could never had enough of him. You were his princess and he’s your prince charming.

But little did you know that the magic will soon wear off...

You stared at your phone in sheer disappointment.

Sorry, I can’t make it today. Something really important came up and I can’t miss it.

-was what was written on your screen, sent by your boyfriend. Bringing the phone closer to your face, you replied.

Really? You can’t skip it? Or even do it later?

Nope. Sorry, babe. There’s nothing I can do.

Oh...okay then.

Cheer up, babe. We’ll just go on a date on another day! I’ll make it up to you. Promise! :)

‘Go on a date on another day’ For some reason, reading that message shot a pang of hurt through your chest. To you, it basically implied that today was supposed to be just ‘another date’ for you guys.

Did he...forget that it’s our one year today? you thought sadly at the possibility as you put your phone down. Shaking your head, you tried to erase the negative thoughts from your mind. No no no, Hyunjin wouldn’t have forgotten. He was the one who even arranged the date! You held your cheeks in your hands. Sighing, you stood up to leave your bedroom to get a glass of water, feeling a heaviness to your chest. A million thoughts ran through your head as you made your way to the kitchen.

Is it possible that he really did forget?

Is he lying to me?

Am I just overthinking things again?

Or did he finally get...bored of me?

Looking back, you started to think about how lately, Hyunjin has been cancelling and rescheduling your dates. Every time you text him, asking him to come over, he’d reply with something along the line of “can’t i’m busy. sorry.” Of course you felt hurt, but you always told yourself, he’s a busy man. We don’t always have to be together.

And of course, you werent oblivious to how every month, the amount of dahlias Hyunjin used to give you slowly decreased. Once a dozen dahlias became only 8. 8 slowly became half a dozen. Then 6 became only 3. But you’ve convinced yourself that you didn’t need flowers to determine how in love you were, telling yourself how expensive live flowers actually are, so it makes sense he’ll end up giving less flowers. That’s it. That’s what you’ve conditioned your mind to think.

You’ve convinced yourself that Hyunjin truly is a good guy.

You didn’t even realize you were already in your kitchen until you felt yourself holding the cup to your mouth, the cool liquid making it’s way down your esophagus. You put the cup onto the counter, mindlessly staring at it. Maybe your were just overthinking things. That’s it.

Trudging back to the bedroom, you sat on the edge of your bed, sighing heavily, trying to contain the tears that were threatening to come out. Your lit up with a notification.

—

From Lixie Ramsay 🧑‍🍳🍽

—

Hey Y/n, are you feeling well?

Seeing a text from Felix, you grabbed your phone.

Not really. How’d you know??

Idk. I guess you can call it...best friend telepathy :D

You smiled, typing in another reply.

Well thank GOD for bsf telepathy cause I feel like shit rn.

Overthinking again?

Yes :(

Aww sorry to hear that dude :((

Wait. What happened with Hyunjin? Isn’t it your anniversary today?

Your heart ached at the message, the good mood you were slowly feeling again plummeted. Luckily, Felix noticed how long you were taking to reply to him.

Ah nvm... Anyways, I’m pretty much free rn so that meeaannnsss...I’ll take you out on a date instead!

Even though you were wallowing in misery, you couldn’t help but tease him.

You? Pass

How rude. And here I am being the greatest friend anyone could ask for, and you have the audacity to be picky?

Have fun with your pity party then, best friend

You sniggered at his reply. No no. I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’ll take up your offer LOL

Good. Be ready in about 20 mins. I’m coming over so we can go to the café together!

Okayyy :D

You got up and put on a nice, but comfortable outfit to go out in with your best friend.

You were just sitting on your couch, awaiting for Felix’s arrival when you heard a knock on your door.

“Y/n! It’s meee~!” came his loud, deep voice. You chortled as you got up from your couch, making sure everything was secured before going to your door. You opened it to see Felix’s bright smile greeting you.

You giggled, opening the door wider. “‘Sup, bro,” you nodded your head. Felix returned the gesture.

“‘Sup. You ready?”

“Yup! Let’s go.” Before you could get out of your house, Felix stopped you.

“Wait wait! I have something for you!” he lightly pushed you back inside. Only then did you notice that he was holding a single sunflower in his left hand. Your eyes widened a little, confused.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“A sunflower!”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Duh, I know that, but what’s it for?”

Felix beamed. “Well, I knew that you were feeling sad today, and I heard from someone that sunflowers are known as “happy flowers”, so I thought that I should give you one! To cheer you up!”

You looked at the flower in awe, incredibly touched by his gesture. “Lix...” you trailed off, feeling happy tears beginning to prick your eyes. You took the sunflower from his hands and stared at it, already feeling the positive vibes radiating from it.

“I know, I know. I’m the bestest best friend anyone could ask for. Now let’s go! I’ve been dying to try the carrot cake in that new café a few blocks down!” Felix said, sliding his arm to yours, “I heard that they have one of the best carrot cakes in town.”

You looked up from the flower to look at him, grinning. “Thank you so much for this, dude. I really appreciate it.”

Felix shrugged with a small smile on his face. “It’s the least I could do. Really.” He waited for you as you locked your front door, arms still linked, then making your way to go to the café Felix has been dying to go to.

The two of you walked together, catching up on each other’s current events going on in your lives, seeing how you weren’t able to for the past two weeks. Right now, Felix was telling you about a certain crush he has in one of his classes.

“Ooh, so, have you tried asking them out? Or even just told them that you’re interested or something, in the very least?” you wiggled your eyebrows. In response, he sucked in his breath a little. His face contorted in a slight grimace.

“I...tried to...” He said with his teeth clenched. You looked at him in puzzled.

“What do you mean ‘tried to’, Lix?” you asked. “It’s either you did or you didn’t.”

Felix sighed in embarrassment, his mind wandering back to the memory. “I sorta might’ve accidentally revealed that I liked them but sorta might’ve got embarrassed and accidentally took it back?”

“What?” you deadpanned.

“Okay okay. It’s dumb. I know. But they were so SO cute just talking, TALKING, and it just slipped out, I guess!” he said, exasperatedly. “I really couldn’t help it! Honest! So, I just panicked and covered it up by saying ‘I’m so lucky to have a friend like you'”

You looked at him blankly, slowly unlinking your arms. “Oh no,” you sighed, slightly shaking your head. “Oh baby nooo...”

“Yeah. I’m pathetic, I know.”

You hummed in pity, patting his shoulder. “A little, yeah, but it’s okay. Things like that happen, unfortunately. Don’t worry though, it’s not like it’s the end of the world,” you grinned, “You’ll have a lot more chances to actually confess in the near future.”

Felix nodded, crooning. “You’re right, Y/n. Thanks,” he said, giving you a hug as he gave you his well-renowned sunshine-like smile that you couldn’t help but smile back.

“No problem.”

Topic after topic, the two of you were so immersed in your conversation that you guys arrived at the café.

“Finally!” you cheered. “That was a surprisingly long walk.”

Felix sighed. “For real. But on the bright side: carrot cake!”

“Is the carrot cake even that good?”

“Dunno. Only one way to find out!” Felix walked a few steps ahead of you to open the door for you when he suddenly stopped. His whole body went rigid. In a blink of an eye, he turned around, gently pushing you away from the building. “Darn. What a shame, it’s full today. Oh well,” he frantically stated.

You glanced back behind him to check the inside yourself, only to see that it was only half full.

“What’re you talking about? There’s totally enough space for us. Let’s go.”

Felix’s face was full of dread. His body was stiff, his eyes shook a little as he maintained eye contact with you. He was nervous, and you could tell.

“You’re not okay. Is there someone in there you wanna avoid?” you said in urgency.

“Uhm. You could say that,” he murmured, looking down. Looking back up to see if there were any shifty looking faces that were in desperate need of a beating, your heart dropped in horror and dispair. Through the window, you saw Hyunjin, your boyfriend, sitting with a pretty looking lady. You watched them with woeful eyes as they smiled and laugh with each other. You couldn’t believe it, you didn’t want to. You wanted to believe that this was all a misunderstanding. You only snapped out of it when you felt Felix’s small, warm hands.

“Let’s-uh- let’s just go, yeah?” he said quietly. Nodding mindlessly, you let him lead to somewhere else. Anywhere but here. Felix rubbed your back, trying to give you any kind of hug he could give you as you walked away. You tried your best to push back the cough making it’s way to your throat. Good thing Felix was guiding you the entire way, others you would’ve fallen due to your blurry eyesight.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into your ear. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for, is what you wanted to tell him. But you couldn’t, for if you do, you might end up breaking down in the middle of the streets. You breathed heavily, containing both your tears and the pressure down in your chest and throat.

You snuggled closer to your thick blankets, trying to assimilate the warm you crave for from it. Felix was by your side, rubbing soothing circle to your back. You guys never went to go to another café. Instead, he led you home, seeing how it wasn’t the right time for you two to go out. You appreciated his gesture. It makes you wonder why can’t every guy be like your best friend, your brother, your soulmate. Felix let out a long exhale.

“Man, I-I’m sorry you had to see that, especially on your anniversary,” he soft said. Felix was furious, not only at Hyunjin, but himself as well. He felt like he couldn’t protect you, like he failed as your best friend.

“It’s okay, Lix. I’m fine,” you murmured. “Actually,” you paused, “I’m not fine. But you don’t have to apologize for something like this. This had nothing to do with you.”

“I know,” he sighed. “Im just frustrated, you know. I’m mad that you’re hurting like this.”

“Yeah me too,” you said emptily. “I just hope that this was just a misunderstanding.”

“He better damn well make sure that it’s just a misunderstanding,” he grumbled. “Otherwise i’m gonna have to settle some things with him. Hope he knows that i’m a black belt in Taekwondo.”

You snorted. “Thanks, Felix.”

“I will have a ‘chat’ with him. Mark my words.”

You laughed at him. You could faintly feel the angst in your heart lessen, but not completely go away. Hearing your front door unlock, you stiffened. You tried your best to not look at it.

“Babe! I’m here!” Hyunjin’s voice rang at the entrance. You felt Felix’s hold on your form tighten. Hyunjin walked closer to you two.

“Hey, Felix,” he said flatly. “didn’t know you were coming here.”

“Hmm.” Felix nodded his head, not even trying to make eye contact with the tall brunette. Hyunjin nodded back in annoyance.

“Anyways, you can leave now,” he sneered with his jaw clenched. “Your job is done. Now it’s my turn to spend time with my beloved.”

Both you and Felix tensed at his words. He looked down to look for your approval. Seeing your unsure nod, he hesitantly let go of you, watching you as he does so.

“It’s okay,” you mouthed to him. He made a sharp breath as he stood up, still refusing to look Hyunjin in the eye.

“Goodbye,” Felix called out, more to you than the other. You felt a sense of foreboding when you heard the door shut. From your side, Hyunjin let out a harsh groan.

“Finally,” he said, sitting down as he wrapped his arm around you. You couldn’t let yourself relax in his arms like how you’d usually to. You just felt uneasy in his presence right now. “So? How was you day? Missed me?” Hyunjin asked. You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to pretend anymore.

“Are you cheating on me?” you more declared than asked as you sat up straight. Hyunjin’s eyes widened for a millisecond, a flash of fear in his eyes, but he just played it off.

“How could you accuse me of something like that?” he said, defensively. “I’m your boyfriend. Don’t you trust me?”

You bit your lip nervously. “I saw you, Hyunjin. At the café.” His face contorted in panic but quickly masked it as disbelief.

He scoffed, “Well you saw wrong, Y/n. That was just a friend, I would NEVER cheat on you.” He shook his head disappointingly, removing his arm from you. “I can’t believe that you would ever doubt me, babe. I’m actually really hurt by this right now.”

You felt a wave of guilt rush over you.

“Oh...I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I just thought-“

“You thought what? That the rumors were true?” Hyunjin laughed sarcastically. “Man, and here I thought that you were different.”

Your eyes teared up even more as the guilt inside your chest increased. Was I really wrong? you thought. “No! I’m-I’m sorry, Hyunie! I didn’t know! I just felt hurt because today was su-”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s okay. Let me just, be alone for a while, Y/n.” Hyunjin quietly got up and walked out of your house. You walked as he slammed the door on his way out, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. You were starting to regret letting Felix leave. The air around turn colder in your empty apartment.

It was supposed to be our one year anniversary, you thought, finally letting your tears out. And yet again, you tried controlling the tickling down your throat.

“He told you WHAT?” Felix exclaimed, looking at you incredulously. You had to shush him when you noticed some of the other people in the coffe shop giving you both tiny glares.

“He told me that it was just a friend that he had to me,” you said, quietly. “And that he would never cheat on me. He also said that felt hurt that I didn’t trust him, so I felt bad cause he did looked super upset.”

Felix rolled his eyes as he let out a sardonic “ha”. “That’s rich. Coming from him?” You let out a tiny pout.

“I don’t know, Lix. He seemed like he was telling the truth though?”

“Yeah, seemed, Y/n. I don’t know if you should trust him anymore. And besides, it even sounded like he was trying to make you feel bad instead of apologizing.”

“Well yeah cause-” Felix cut you off, holding up his hand to stop you from saying anything else.

“That’s gaslighting, bud. A huge red flag if you ask me. He didn’t even remember that it was your anniversary!”

Scrunching your eyebrows, you pondered upon Felix’s words. You knew he was right, but you really wanted to give Hyunjin the benefit of a doubt. All of a sudden, you felt a pressure in your chest. In need of relief, you coughed into the juncture of your arm. Felix winced in pity.

“Ooh, sounds nasty. You good there?”

You nodded as you continued coughing, giving him a thumbs up. Once you finish with your fit, you cleared your throat a little, grabbing the water bottle beside you to drink.

“Mhmm, yeah. Just a tickle, that’s all.”

“You sure? You’ve started coughing since yesterday,” Felix stated. “Are you sure you aren’t getting sick cause of the weather or stress or something?”

“Uhh nah. I don’t think so,” you said. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Felix hummed, totally unconvinced by your reasoning. He knew deep down something was wrong; he just didn’t know what. It was quiet for a while until Felix up at the window and let out a little gasp. You raised your eyebrows at this, silently asking him what’s wrong. He glared a little at the window before turning to you.

“Hate to do this but look. Behind you, don’t make it obvious.”

You slightly turned your head to see what he was looking at. Your eyes widened. You saw Hyunjin and the same girl from 2 days ago, passing by at the other side of the window, hand in hand. You watched in disbelief as the girl tipped toed to kiss his cheek while he giggles. You quickly turned your head in the other direction to avoid him as they walked by, feeling the pressure in your chest worsen. It hurt even more when you remember the small bouquet of dahilas in her hands. You felt your eyes burning with tears, sucking in deep breaths. Turns out that that was a mistake.

You calming yourself back-fired. You ended up having a coughing fit; but it didn’t feel like any cough you’ve ever had. It felt way heavier, like you were almost suffocating. Bringing a fist to your chest, you pounded on it as if it would help. You didn’t know if the tears in your eyes was from the couch or seeing your bastard of a boyfriend. You couldn’t even open them so you opted to just keeping them shut .

“Y/n?!” Felix yelled out in alarm. You felt him come up behind you, rubbing your back. “Oh shit...” you heard him breathed out. You slowly opened your eyes and turned to him. He looked frantic, but he wasn’t staring at you, rather on the floor. You looked back to see dahlia petals on the floor.

Huh? you thought in bewilderment. Last time you checked, there wasn’t any plants in the shop, aside for the plastic Swiss Cheese plants in the corners of the place, if they even count at all.

Felix noticed your gaze on the petals. “That shit’s from you,” he pointed out. “We need to get you to a hospital. ASAP.”

You looked at him weakly. “But-“

“NOW, Y/n.”

“I- what?” you gasped in horror.

“You’ve, unfortunately, contracted the Hanahaki Disease,” the doctor announced in sympathy. Felix rushed you to the nearest hospital after your little scene. When you arrived there and told the receptionist at the entrance, she immediately paged you to the emergency room. You were scared. You didn’t know what was so urgent to rush you to an emergency room.

“Hantahapki? What the hell is that?” Felix asked, coming out rather aggressively. He was horrified; who wouldn’t be if they witnessed their best friend coughing out flower petals.

“Hanahaki,” the doctor subtly corrected, “It’s a rare disease that makes you cough out petals. Not many people gets it.”

Your heart beak was fast. If it was rare, then who knows what could happen.

“Okay, Hanahaki. So do you know how Y/n got it?”

The doctor removed her glasses and put it on the desk beside her. “Well, though it is a rare disease, we do know enough about it,” she declared. “The Hanahaki disease, fortunately, isn’t contagious and is only produced from unrequited love.”

You let out a shaky sigh. “So it is true. He doesn’t love me anymore,” you muttered. You felt the familiar pressure in your chest so you relieved yourself, petals spewing as you coughed. Felix immediately rubbed your back in alarm.”

“Is there anyway to treat it, doc?” he worriedly questioned. The doctor nodded.

“Yes actually. One option is for the patient’s love to be returned by the recipient,” your heart dropped a little hearing this “-or the other is to undergo surgery.”

“Surgery?” you both inquired at the same time.

The doctor nodded again. “Yes, surgery, our safest option. However, doing so will result in Y/n loosing all feelings of love altogether.”

“So what you’re saying is,” you said slowly. “-if I do the procedure, I won’t be able to love again?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Romantic love that is. You can still love people platonicly, like your friend over here,” she said gesturing to Felix. “Family and friends, basically. You just can’t have romantic feelings for anyone else, even if you really wanted to.”

You and Felix looked at each other in sorrow. “I,” Felix started off, “really think you should do it.”

You bit your lip as you shook your head. “I don’t know. This is a pretty big decision. Can’t I just, like, think about it for a while? Before I really decide if I want to do this?”

“Of course you can, Y/n,” the doctor said. “Just don’t take too long making a decision, okay? Because it will kill you, if you don’t decide on time.”

The two of you looked up at her in horror. “KILL?!”

She winced a little at your loud voices, prompting the two of you to apologize. “Yes, kill. Those aren’t just petals coming out of no where.” She gestured to the pile between the tree of you. “They have to produce somewhere. At first they’ll start of as a little bud, that’s why as of now, you’re only coughing out several petals each cough, eventually getting bigger and bigger until the flower in your lungs fully bloom, which could end up bursting out of your chest.”

Felix turned to you in pure terror, slightly shaking you. “I REALLY think you should do the surgery today.” You brushed him off of you.

“Okay yeah, that’s terrifying, but I won’t be able to love ever again, Lix!” you countered. He look at you like you were crazy.

“You won’t be able to feel ANYTHING if you don’t!”

You contemplated on the situation. You didn’t know what to do. The doctor interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Don’t worry, Y/n you have about a few weeks minimum to make a decision. Luckily you came to us the day you started coughing out the petals. Otherwise, if it happened earlier and you kept it to yourself, you might’ve...you know.” You shook your head in acknowledgment.

“Yeah. Okay, thank you, doc.”

It’s been 5 days since you’ve been to the hospital; 5 days you’ve been diagnosed with the Hanahaki Disease; 5 days since you’ve last seen Hyunjin.

You still weren’t sure if you wanted to undergo the procedure. Felix said that this was the best option, but you didn’t want to listen. You still had hope in your heart that maybe, just maybe, Hyunjin still loves you deep down. You heard your phone ding from the table. You picked it up and saw that is was from your “boyfriend”.

Hey! Haven’t seen each other in a while. Wanna talk?

Your heart sped up. You didn’t know if it was from excitement that he finally contacted you, or fear that you might end up finding out the whole truth. Your fingers typed out a reply.

Yeah, come over today. I’ve missed you

Liar, you thought to yourself.

Sure! See you soon!

:)

You typed out your final reply, burying your face into the throw pillows.

A knock was heard from your door, signaling Hyunjin’s arrival. You tensed buy quickly calmed yourself down. You got up to let him in. You were greeted by his big smile, which you knew now was fake.

“Hey, babe! I’ve missed you!” he cheered.

Fucking liar. Putting one a fake smile, you said a quick “miss you too” and let him in. Closing the door, you gave yourself a mental pep talk before going straight to the point. You turned around to face him

“You’re cheating on me,” you stated, emotionlessly. You didn’t even say it as if it was a question, you knew. Hyunjin looked panic before composing himself.

“Again, Y/n? I told you, it-”

“I SAW YOU, HYUNJIN!” you cried out, not even containing your emotions anymore. “I SAW YOU OUTSIDE OF THE CAFÉ. I SAW YOU HOLDING HANDS. I SAW HER KISS YOU AND YOU DIDNT PUSH HER AWAY. IN FACT, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU ENJOYED IT.” You walked quickly towards him to push his chest.

“WHAT’S WORSE WAS THAT I SAW THE DAHLIAS YOU GAVE HER, A FLOWER THAT YOU SAID WAS SPECIAL TO US!” you fell to the floor, sobbing. The jig was up, Hyunjin knew.

“I trusted you Hyunjin...I really did. I even convinced myself that you weren’t like the rumors said,” you said weakly, already too tired to scream. “I love you. How could you do this to me?”

Hyunjin watched as you broke down. He didn’t know what to say; how to comfort you. He couldn’t even lie to you anymore. He felt bad for you. But he could’nt deny that he’s lost feelings for you.

“I’m sorry...”

Hearing this made you cry even more, you cradled your chest as you sank deeper to the floor. He didn’t even deny it. He didn’t even try comforting you. You heard his heavy footsteps leave your house, closing the door behind him. Your heart lurked even more. So this is it, you thought.

It hurts.

It hurts so fucking bad.

You were used to being cheated and lied to, so why did it? You clutched your burning chest, trying to regulate your breathing. More tears spilled out of your eyes.

It was because you genuinely loved Hyunjin.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you started wheezing out the dahlia petals out of your chest. A bunch of petals flew out of your mouth. You couldn’t breathe. It was too much. You crawled to your phone to call Felix. It rang once, twice, before he finally answered.

“Y/n?”

You could’ve even speak anymore, the room started spinning, your vision started blurring.

“Lix...hospital...” you managed to let out before collapsing.

“Y/n? Y/n!”

You woke up to the sound of beeping. You looked around and noticed that you weren’t home anymore. You tried getting up, flinching when the IV bag connected to you stopped you.

Ah, I’m at the hospital.

You laid back down and relaxed, trying to relive what happened last time you were awake. All you remember were blurry images of you crying, petals, hearing Felix’s panicked voice, then nothing. You eyes shot open at the thought.

Felix?!

You looked around the room to finally see him sleeping in the corner. You could faintly distinguish the dried tear marks on his freckled face.

He must’ve been here for a while.

The door know turned to reveal the same doctor to diagnosed you a few days prior. “Hello, Y/n,” she greeted, standing by your bed. “Seems like you’re doing well now.” You nodded. You tried speaking to answer her, only to find that you couldn’t because of how dry your throat was. The doctor noticed this and shook her head.

“Don’t. Just rest, it’s okay.”

You bowed you head as a slight thank you. She walked closer to you to pat your head.

“Congratulations, the procedure was a success.”

You eyes widened at the implication. So that’s why you’re here. It all made sense now. You have her a smile as you gave a raspy “thank you.” She talked to you for a while before deciding to leave you to rest a little more. She announced you could be discharged from the hospital by tomorrow.

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn’t love anymore, but still overall glad that you’re still alive. You glanced at the papers the doctor left on the table beside you, grabbing it to read it a little just to see that is was just your information. Beside it, you saw that she also left a cup of water for you. You gulped it down, letting out a relieved “ah” went you finished.

You didn’t want to think about anything right now, and you sure as hell didn’t even want to think about your now ex-boyfriend. You closed your eyes to think about what went wrong in your life. Especially now that you have to live without loving anything the way you want to. You contemplated with an emptiness in your chest.

.

.

.

Our love is-

“...however, they do carry negative connotations;

betrayal, dishonesty, instability.”

-Dahlia

—————————————————————————

(Case #XX1-

Name: Y/n L/n

Patient: Cured; Discharged: XX,XX,XXXX at XX:XX)

——————————————————————————

(Back to Page I)

A/N: PHEW FINALLY DONE WITH THE FIRST PART OF THE SERIES. IVE BEEN EXCITED TO WRITE THIS FIC FOR A LOOONG TIME. (G) I-dle’s “Dahlia” is what inspired me to start the Hanahaki series so THANK YOU MINNIE

[jennycalendar]

my top ten calendiles fics (that i wrote)

this rec list took me a solid chunk of time to compile, because my fics are my babies and i honestly wanna throw quite a few of them up here. but EVENTUALLY i stopped being indecisive and finally managed to get this sorted, so here goes! if you wanna read some of my stuff, this is the stuff that i am the most proud of/in love with/would cry if someone asked me leading questions about it + drew me fanart of it. these are not ranked except for the top two, because the first one is my baby and the second one is still very beloved to me.

under the cut, because i have loving commentary!

1. as day follows night (multi-chapter)

Looking for a safe place to stay after her accidental murder of the Deputy Mayor, Faith Lehane allies herself with a mysteriously powerful witch—and stumbles into a fairytale mystery that's bigger than anything she could have anticipated.

(this fic is my goddamn baby. this fic is my C H I L D. this fic is the fic that i took extensive notes for and spent most of my freshman year of college thinking about and ended up as this terrifying love letter to fairy tales and jenny calendar and the complexity of the way she chooses to love people. i love this fic with every fiber of my being and always will.)

2. i still want to be your girl (multi-chapter)

Five years ago, Jenny Calendar ran from Sunnydale and didn't come back. Now, with the First threatening Sunnydale and the Slayer line, she's returned to help stop the apocalypse--but Rupert Giles isn't the man she remembers, and he isn't exactly delighted to have her back in his life again.

(i have a very persistent soft spot for later-seasons giles, but this was one of the few fics where i went “okay but what about battle-hardened jenny” and i’m very proud of the result. it was really fun to think about what might have changed about jenny over the course of five years, and now that i’m thinking about it, i might be really interested in writing a giles pov of this fic at some point? that’s totally a concept to come back to at some point. anyway.)

3. kind of like hydrogen peroxide

Here was the problem: Ripper had no idea how to talk to Jenny without somehow managing to make her want to kill him.

(i do NOT deserve rights if a fic from the ripper au doesn’t make its way onto this list, and this one is my very favorite. i love thinking about dumb teenage giles who pretends to be a rebel but is actually very very soft and very very in love with his equally dumb and genuinely rebellious girlfriend.)

4. spirit-touched

“Thank you, Buffy,” Giles said, “but I would prefer to conduct this research on my own. I’ll be looking into some rather…” He felt himself blushing, and resented it. “Some rather intimate details of ghost-human relations.”

“What does that—oh god, you want to figure out how to have sex with Ms. Calendar,” said Buffy.

(making this the first smutfic i posted was still the most cursed power move i have ever pulled off. anyway that influx of asks in 2016 about ghost jenny and human giles and their sex life inspired this and it ended up being SO funny and SO sweet and i am SO proud of it.)

5. very really married

Giles and Jenny's flights to Sunnydale both stop over in Las Vegas. On the same day. Naturally, a chance encounter leads to a drunken marriage, one that they mutually agree to keep up for appearances.

Which is to say: Giles is going to have to figure out how to hide his fake marriage from his new Slayer (and everyone else) while also hiding his new Slayer from his fake wife (and everyone else). And his complex feelings for Jenny aren't helping anything.

(EVEN NOW, THIS FIC MAKES ME GIGGLE TO THINK ABOUT. i am saving my reread of this particular gem for a rainy day, because it was my love letter to season one and my daydreamy fantasy re: what it would look like if giles and jenny had silly odd-couple energy that really just came from them being fake married and badly hiding it as they fall very deeply in love.)

6. days in goodness spent

This feeling—whatever Giles is feeling—this is bone-deep. He’s never felt it before. He’s been in love before, he’s admired someone before, he’s respected someone before, but this feels like all of those three things held together by something else he can’t quite name. He searches, desperately, for the words that will tell Jenny this, but nothing that has been written can describe the way it feels to be held by her right now.

(In which Rupert Giles gets the chance to fall in love all the way, and it changes him just a little.)

(this one didn’t immediately come to mind when i was drawing up the list, but my brief rereads led me to conclude that it is an underappreciated gem! i’ve written a lot of different takes on giles and jenny’s relationship, but i particularly love calling giles out for idealizing jenny. also i like that this is more abstract than some of my other older pieces, where i really get into the nuts and bolts of wanting to depict Every Single Part of giles and jenny’s relationship trajectory. this one has more fun with the flow of the story.)

7. no one else could heal my pain

“Friday,” Giles echoed.

“Yeah. As an overnight weekend trip to hunt down some books I need.” Ms. Calendar smiled playfully at him. “Isn’t that the kind of thing you’d do for fun anyway?”

(this one was SO recent and SO fun! it’s kind of my love letter to the standalone longfics i consumed voraciously when i was fourteen, because there are some really great older calendiles fics that are just long and winding adventure-y narratives about the two of them goofing off and falling in love. i wanted to echo that here a little bit and it was a delight to write.)

8. myosotis latifolia

Years and years ago, the truth would spill out, and Rupert—in his endless romanticism—would take her hands and tell her she only needed him by her side to feel welcome and loved. But it’s been over a decade since they’ve been that close, and those years have created a distance between them just as insurmountable as the distance between them, now, on the steps leading into his lavish gardens.

(Rupert Giles is an esteemed member of the Watchers' Council, as well as a happily married father. Jenny Calendar knows that that's never been what he wanted.)

(ahaha this one is a big ouch moment but i really love it regardless? i think that giles and jenny are kinda fundamentally incompatible in a lot of ways, and part of the intrigue of their relationship is watching them try and figure out how to compromise and adjust after years of being rigid and inflexible individuals -- giles intellectually, jenny emotionally. so this fic is a lot about that.)

9. the grieving process

After Buffy's death, Giles makes his way to Jenny in LA.

(i don’t know why this one still sticks with me! it just! does! it holds up and i love it and if you wanna read about giles and jenny falling in love in a way that is healthy and authentic without any secrets -- but also obviously very sad -- definitely pick this one up.)

10. decently clothed

“Jenny, are you selecting my wardrobe based solely on what is and isn’t easy to divest me of?”

“…no,” said Jenny.

“That’s not even remotely convincing.”

(i wrote this one during a particularly difficult time in my life, and it was a really special moment for me, because i’d just come out of a period where it had been difficult for me to find the time or emotional energy to write. whenever i return to it, this fic is suffused in that warm and hopeful joy i felt when i posted it and realized that i had not, in fact, lost my touch. so it’s always gonna mean the world to me.

plus it is very silly and sweet! my specialties.)

[docholligay]

LIVESTREAM WINNERS AND TOP POINT COMMENTS

THose of you who read the schedule already know this but the winners are:

HOLLIGAY INVOKES THE SPIRIT OF CLOSET GHOST 

and

WE COOK FOR DINNER IN THE APOCALYPSE

Please join me for both! It’ should be a terrifying, thrilling time. 

AND NOW, THOSE OF YOU WHO MADE ME FEEL THE WARMEST. Thank you to all who answered--I know this was super self indulgent and it means a lot to me that you took the time. So, literally 12 out of the 13 of you got at least one point (One person did not give any details, or even a quote) MAZEL. 

Point allocations are below!!

One point winners: 

4(?)ish years ago, you sent Jet a series of letters/cards/funeral lilies, from different Sailor Moon characters. The lilies were for Mako. One card was from Michiru, after Haruka's death. I have never been able to find them again, but I just loved the care you put into them--how they were all written specifically from the character, the fact that you even put tear stains and perfume on the cards. It was just so creative and touching, and it felt like the characters were real for an instant, mourning and living and giving you a peek at their lives. --- @kumeko (That was A Little Letter, and Mako’s was actually a separate thing for the same contest!) 

   “Before you get yourselves killed I want to go on record as saying this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.” Rei stood with her hands on her hips at the front of the garage- from that short story about Mina and Haruka strapping an engine to a shopping cart. You can really feel how rei must feel, the resigned exasperation mixed with genuine, but hidden, concern for Mina and haruka’s safety. I think i have said the exactsame thing before people i know do stupid shit. --- BeefSalad33  (oh ma, an oldie but, I think, a goodie) 

OH MAN. I am always thinking nonstop about that piece where Minako confronts Seiya about bullying Haruka, specifically for the line where Mina spits out "you think she'll love you for this?" and UGH that LINE. it HAUNTS me, I want to BITE DOWN ON IT AND NEVER LET GO, I WANT TO PUT IT EVERYWHERE EVER BECAUSE IT HURTS SO GOOD, AND I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT SEIYA. --- @wouldntyoulichentoknow (I’m so glad that I’ve managed to make both you and jetty grit your teeth and care about Seiya at some point ahahah) 

"*But flowers grow from death and decay, don’t they? That has always been true, you know that, Mako. You are a rose of perfect beauty, grown in the rich fertilizer of your loss.*

She threw the stress ball across the room, knocking over the cup on the sink, spilling the ice down the drain."

The contrast between reminding herself of how life works, and then still being bitter about it, and knowing what she is and being frustrated about it. It's a lot, when sorting out various issues- i have trauma, and that makes me better at empathizing with people, i'm adaptable long-term, and that means i can put up with some bullshit, that kind of thing, but that doesn't mean those are wholly good things. It's nice to see it put into words, and so plainly, and with such a strong reaction of it.

Roses can still grow wild, as pretentious as that sounds with how your passage resonates to me, but it's still nice to feel that. ---- @katrani (I’m so glad it resonates with you! I liked that line a lot! ) 

2 point answers:

Christmas Carol, Stave 1 - “You are a terrible person,” she jutted out her chin, feigning strength. “Fareeha deserved much better than you. But,” she took a deep breath. “I still hope she forgives you, someday. Someday, I hope you will deserve it.” It feels like cheating to use the most recent thing you’ve written, but nonetheless this section conveys so much about your take on Mercy, so quickly. She may be an idealist, the peacekeeper and builder, and she may want Pharah to have a relationship with her mother that’s not this disaster, but that doesn’t stop her from acknowledging that Ana’s been the primary factor in making it what it is and telling Ana that directly. I love how you write Mercy (and Tracer for that matter) as very warm characters who try to see the best in their situations but won’t gloss over the fact that sometimes, someone does have to be shot in the fucking face. “Good” doesn’t mean “hopelessly naive”, even with a pacifist, and I appreciate that you have characters who show that. 

Bonus, and a fringe case as technically part of the Fushigi Yuigi hateblog: “She was still trying to get home, had been unable to get Tamahome to let her poison him, and then Nakago had hugged her into his chest until she had been forced to flatten him with a punch to the nads. She was tired, she was hungry, and she was trying to have a moonlight bath to consider her options and wash the stink of a man off of her.

And then, Tamahome, again.” - Haruka-gets-dumped-into-Fushigi-Yuugi-as-Yui was a delight that entire episode, but this post was one of the best. Is it really just narrativizing your frustrations with the many, many writing choices that were made here? Absolutely. But it’s a fun little bit of comedic pacing here, especially with the utter exhaustion of Haruka that this bullshit isn’t over yet. (“Fuck my life” to the moon wondering if Usagi could help and regretting how hard it would be to drown herself are close runners-up on that front.) --- Regalli 

(Mercy is, in many ways, my attempt to write someone who is MOSTLY a pacifist that I can respect. It’s not easy for me! I often find pacifism to be cowardice, because so often in life the people I know who are pacifists are, well, not the folks in the street. So i thought, could you write someone who is very hesitant to kill, who believes that even Doomfist, even Reaper, even whoever, deserve care if they are hurt, who believes that a sword will not leave her hand free to uplift the fallen, and make her brave? And make her strong? And so was born, Mercy, who proved that, yeah that person, at least in my mind, can exist.) 

I think one of my favorite passages from your writing is from "The Rest is Commentary". Particularly the part that starts with "I am a doer. " That entire paragraph is wonderfully written, with mix of beautifully descriptive language to describe *why* you don't trust words. It's slightly paradoxical, but it also fits with the rest of the essay (?) so well. And even beyond that,  I love reading when you write about your faith. You are deeply devout woman, and a personal aspiration to me. When you write about your faith, it reminds me that there is work that needs to be done to live it, and not easy work either. But it is very much worth every bead of sweat, and every drop of blood. --- @shavedjudomonkey 

(Thank you so much! I love that people have connected so much with my Jewish writing) 

3 point answers: 

From Requiem for the Great Consummation, I adore the word play with "compose." Ie, in the line, "Michiru folded her hands in her lap and composed herself." Why? I'm a musician. So, Michiru, with her music, holds a special place in my heart. (Why Ami gets the music attacks is beyond me. WTF?)  I don't think the writers ever really understood what it takes to be a musician, and while fanfic writers often include Michiru's music, I've never really seen it done well. (I'm sure it has been. I just haven't seen it.) Music is all about structure. It has to feel free and soaring, but it can only be that because of the intense amounts of tension and structure underneath. A kite without a string plummets. When I reach for high, soaring notes, that's when I have to be most conscious of having a solid base. Making music Is constant tension. So, often when I see writers portray musicians, it's all "she never felt so free and untethered as when she sang/played the,violin/piano/whatever." And I think, "wow, really? She must have been Crap." So, back to compose/compose. This wordplay shows that tension. The "I have rehearsed this 5,000 times and am still working so hard I'm sweating standing still in this freezing auditorium so that it can look and sound completely free and easy." This is Michiru's entire life. She is composing herself. She is outlining complex rhythms and tensions and resolutions that even though you hear when the piece is played, you don't fully take in or understand, and all you consciously comprehend is 'wow, pretty.' Because that's how music works. Organs have keys that can't be heard by the human ear, and composers include them in their pieces. Why? We can't hear them! But we feel them. If you look at the score for an orchestral piece, it contains So. Many. Notes. So much going on. But when you listen, all you hear is that melodic theme. But if you take out anything underneath, things change and cam fall apart. Michiru lives her life like that. She creates herself, composes herself, and it looks elegant and free and easy, but it is so so very tightly controlled and rehearsed, and that particular wordplay showed off that side of Michiru's music, which is one I don't get to see explored much. --- @incorrecttact 

(Thank you so much for this!! I am NOT a musician, but so much of Michiru and music speaks to me, the structure of it, the discipline, the way it allows you to express yourself while hiding behind something else. And yes! I think of that double meaning so much!)

I want you to know... that this was very, very difficult. I made a notepad and collected shit I'd pulled out from your work where I could find comments where I did such, and then I AGONIZED. Here is where I landed but know it's so close with other things god. 

"Winston worked in earnest at his inventions, and Emily went back to teaching, and the two of them began to cook for each other again. Family dinners once a week resumed, grew with some of the new recruits that were being folded into their family. Pharah and Mercy’s daughter took them to the zoo, the park, out into the world. Dva had continued the game they had all been playing before Tracer died, their party picking up after the terrible and well-done loss of their beloved rogue. ***Life did not return, but it grew forward. It bloomed again.***" — A Clock's Fading Chime

I ended up choosing this one because I hate it a little when I read it. Not because it's not good but because it's SO PAINFUL. I love so much about the way you talk about love, and I think grief is all a part of that. We grieve because we loved. The idea of the grief period, especially for those in a close circle of a lost person, being like the cycle of the seasons where a flower may die but life blossoms in the soil it left behind is so evocative and perfect and everything leading up to that last line is the soil for which that line got to bloom. The slow, simple way life returns to them, that they adjust to the heavy rock in their pack (A piece of yours I revisited for this and a metaphor I will always carry with me) and start growing stronger together. And that they find it WITH EACH OTHER too just god, it kills me. But would I rather wish it wasn't necessary? YUP. FOR SURE. It hurts to think about someone who plays Lena's role dying in our own lives and trying to mend the rift between those left behind. But it brings all those possibilities and who may have gone already before to mind because it feels so grounded in the reality of what these experiences are like and shit it's just a great sampling of everything I love about your work. Beautiful prose, saying so much with so little, grounded in stuff that feels read, and ending on a banger, transfixing line. ---- @thoughtfulfangirling 

(Thank you so much! I LOVED that whole series of fics around that, as it is in the way that I often like to toy with the nature of grief, and the way that we go on. Things aren’t ever the same, but we go on. And I’m so glad you gt into it too! It’s very self-indulgent for me, basically everything with OW, so I love when other poepl like it) 

4 point answers: 

Given that I am not Jewish, I hope this isn't overstepping my bounds, but your passover Seder speech really spoke to me this year. Specifically the bits about the relationship between cowardice and metaphorical bondage: 

"This is a celebration of our freedom from bondage, but it is a also a reminder, a call that we must ensure we do not, in cowardice, return ourselves to bondage. "

Without explaining too much, and risking the kind of parasocial oversharing that you lamented the other day in a post, this particular push and pull has been at the forefront of my mind this year. The intense gravity that the familiar, the easy, the safe, can have, versus the genuine terror of pressing out into the unknown in search of something better.

Trying to change, and to do better, and to press on, is fucking terrifying, and hard. But, that is not an excuse. And I appreciated the reminder.   --- @blastoise-m 

(Not overstepping at all! I am so glad that it speaks to you, I really, really love this kind of writing, and I really should get back to doing more of my Jewish writing. My rabbi is leaving, because we apparently don’t have the money to have a rabbi! And he’s readying people to be lay leaders, and called on me to be someone who could give Divrei Torah (sort of like our sermons) because of my tendency to do stuff like this, and it’s very scary! But really exciting as that’s the kind of stuff that had me interested in being a rabbi, is picking this stuff apart and applying it to our own lives HI YOU ASKED FOR NONE OF THIS SORRY) 

"There are no beautiful deaths in this world, and am sorry that you must know it. Rei never was allowed to say goodbye. I watched Haruka grow weaker and more ill every single day. We each have been jealous of the other, at turns, but I tell you this truth now: Our lives mean much more than our deaths. You and Seiya had a wonderful love story, and you raised a wonderful daughter, and unfortunately it is very often difficult to finish a story in a satisfying sort of way. It is not the end of your story, simply of hers. For you, it is a new chapter"

I think this is still one of my top 5 fav fics that you've ever written. I still think of it randomly once in a while. It's such a small moment but it sold me Usagi and Seiya in a way never would have expected. It's such a moment of growth for both Usagi and Muchiru. A small moment of connection for two people who are so different.

This is wrapped up in the entire MaS series, which I could never separate from this work let alone this quote. The entire series is a series about love and all its many permutations. About finding meaning in a world when you think your meaning has been taken away. About carrying on when you think there's no reason to do so. And I think this quote really encapsulates all of that. 

This story, this entire series, is one the favorite things I've ever read and I'm so glad that you decided to share it. --- @madegeeky

(I truly and in all ways love how much you love this fic, it cheers em and makes me so happy every time I am reminded of it. And thank you for loving that line! I FEEL that line. It’s been true for every death that has come to me, so I love when it has meaning for others. ) 

The 5 point answer:

"God separated the sky and the sea, and that’s true, but there will always be the horizon where they blend."

I'm not much of a quote person. I'll often remember the feeling or the takeaway but rarely the words themselves. This, though, has stuck with me.

There is so much in this world, and so many people, who see everything as absolutes. Black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. And as I've grown and changed, that has come to bother me more and more.

This quote is such an elegant and accessible way to express how that oh-so-common point of view is a fallacy. And really it's just a lovely line that invokes both lovely imagery and feeling. ---- @seolh

I FORGOT I WROTE THIS, and like the completely arrogant piece of shit I am, when I read it was I was like, “Oh fuck, that’s a solid line.” And yes I am with you on getting older and relizing that the horizon line can be so fuzzy out there, sometimes, and this quote WEIRDLY came back to me when I needed it, a lot, and so thank you! 

[chrissyutimagines]

Can I please request a soulmate AU drabble with HT Papyrus for the “You have a birth mark that represents your soulmate and aches when you're close to them, the pain stops when you touch them” AU? I think that one is neat!

Ok, some things about this. This'll not just be a meet cute, it's gonna be a search for the meaning of their mark. Settings and POVs are still the same. And I'm going to assume that the gender is female, just to make my life easier.

You stare at your birthmark, then turned to your beloved boyfriend. Grinning happily, you showed him your arm with your mark tattooed on it.

"Do you remember how we met, Sweets?" He smiles at you, leaning down to peck your lips.

"Of Course, Pumpkin. You Were The Cutest, Sweetest One Of The Crowd." You felt your face heat up.

"Sweets..."

"Oh Silly Me, I Forgot. You Were Also The Loveliest Woman I Have Ever Laid Eyes On."

"Darling please..."

"No, You Deserve To Be Complemented. You're Amazing." You were speechless.

"Nyeh Heh Heh." He was laughing. At you.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Pumpkin. You Just Look So Cute, Just Like When We Met." Oh. Right. That.

You were speechless as well when you first met your sweet, sweet boyfriend.

It was a fine day. The skies were blue and the winds softly caressed your cheeks. It was the perfect time for a nice cup of tea at the scenic Cafe.

You ordered your tea and sat at a outdoor table, relaxing beneath the shade of the umbrella. Then suddenly your birthmark starts to ache.

Startled, you grip your arm with the birthmark and frantically scanned the crowd to see if you can spot a person with the same problem that you have.

Then you spot him.

A tall skeleton, wearing braces and leg supports, holding his hand in obvious pain.

He spots you, and your eyes meet. You stared at each other for a while, forgetting the pain in your arm.

You were rudely reminded though, as he came closer, and gripped your arm tighter. You winced and closed your eyes trying to ignore the pain.

Then, a skeletal hand touches you, and the pain disappeared.

You open your eyes and saw... A t-shirt in your face... You looked up, craning your neck, and you saw the face of your soulmate.

He looked down at you. He's a skeleton, wearing casual clothes. You faintly remembered that Monsters had recently emerged from Mt. Ebott. But that wasn't your first thought, your first thought was, he's so... Large... And his face... His demeanor... It reminds you of a giant bear, a giant Teddy Bear.

"You're So Small." You suddenly feel offended.

"Hey! That's only because you're so large!" He chuckles.

"I Don't Mean To Offend You. Being Small Isn't A Bad Thing, Just Makes You That Much Cuter." You feel your face burn at those words.

"You're the one who's cute, you giant teddy bear." He blushes orange.

"Teddy Bear? Am I Not Scary To You?" You raised an eyebrow.

"No? Should I?" He frantically waves his hands.

"No, No, It's Better To Not Be Afraid."

You both fell silent after that.

"So, do... You want to join me in enjoying the beautiful weather?"

"I'm Afraid I'm A Little Bit Busy. I Need To Get Groceries."

"No worries, I'll go ask the waiter to put my drink in a take out cup. And we can go together."

"Sure."

And that's how you met Sweets, your sweet boyfriend. You had gotten his number on that very day and gotten together a while after then.

"You Really Were Adorable. Calling Me A Giant Teddy Bear." He smirked.

"It's the truth." You peck his teeth, being careful with the jagged parts.

But, something still bugs you to this day...

"Sweets, baby?"

"Yes?"

"What do our marks mean?" He freezes.

"I, I Don't Know..."

You both stare at each other. And burst into a fit of giggles.

"We-we've been together for, so long-"

"-And We, Never Knew The Meaning Behind Our Marks!"

Your giggles slowly die down, and you sigh.

"We should go search it."

"Yes. We Should."

"Together?" You look at him.

"Of Course."

He stood up and swiftly picked you up. You squeal.

"Sweets! Your legs, baby! Put me down!"

"Oh Please, It's Not Like I Couldn't Lift A Bunch Of Grapes."

"I'm not a bunch of grapes!"

"Same Thing, Pumpkin." You blush, covering your face with your hands, you let him carry you to his bedroom.

He plopped down on the chair in front of his desk and adjusts you to sit comfortably in his lap. Then he opened up the laptop.

"Let's See, We'll Start With My Mark. I've Got A Swan With A Strange Looking Cross In It." He said as he looked at his hand.

"Let's start with the swan. Swan...meaning... There! Spirit animal?" You look at the screen curiously.

"It Says Here That The Swan Spirit Animal Means Purity, Grace, Beauty, Love, Elegance, Divination, and Balance."

"It says here that it also means inner beauty, grace in dealing with others, union, loyalty, and peace..."

You look at Sweets with a questioning look.

"It's Not Wrong. You Really Are All That. And I Love You Because Of That."

He leans down to give you a quick peck on the cheek. You giggle.

"Ok, ok, let's search the cross. Cross...tattoo...meaning..."

"Christianity? That Doesn't Seem Right."

"Wait, wait, look! There's a Celtic meaning here!"

"You're Right. It's Says That It Means Balance, Faith, Hope, And Wisdom."

"I- Am I like that? Is it wrong? Should we-"

"No. It's Exactly What I Think You Are." You turn to face Sweets, his pupils have become the most adorable little hearts. You flush at the sight.

"R-really?"

"Why Would I Lie To You My Love? You Helped Me Balance My Life, And You Gave Me Hope... Every Meaning Of My Mark Is Perfect For You."

Your heart swells at his sweet words and you hug him tightly, pressing kisses all over his skull.

"Oh, you sweet, sweet skeleton! My favorite teddy bear!" You continue to kiss his skull until he gently pushes you away.

"Come On, Pumpkin. We Still Need To Search Up What Yours Meant!" You pout.

"Alright, fine. But I'm gonna smother you with kisses afterwards." He laughs.

"Alright, That's Fair." You turn around and reached for the keyboard, but was stopped by Sweets.

"Ah, Ah, Ah. You Helped Me Search, So Now I'll Help You Search." You huff and pout but still complied.

"Well, my mark has a turtle with a maze-like design as the shell."

"Ok! Turtle...Meaning... Done!"

"Long life? That seems a bit off as well..."

"Perhaps It's Another Spirit Animal Like Mine!"

"Oh yeah! There! It means the ability to stay grounded, slowing down, pacing yourself, determination, persistence, emotional strength and understanding, and ancient wisdom."

"Well, I Can Understand Slowing Down And Pacing Myself, But I Don't Know About The Rest..."

From his tone alone, you can tell he's doubting himself. If only he could see things from your eyes... Well, that's why you're here, to remind him of the monster he truly is. You turn to face your, sad-looking boyfriend.

"I think it's the perfect description of you."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. You've left the underground with your sanity, haven't you? You've 'stayed grounded' and had 'the emotional strength' to make that happen. You've grown, you can 'understand' people's 'emotions' when they see you and get scared. But you didn't just give up, you stayed 'determined' and 'persistent', and in the end, you got your happy ending and your happy beginning to a beautiful future. And having been though all that, you gained 'wisdom' that only a handful of people could understand. The turtle spirit describes you perfectly."

His eyesockets watered and he embraced you tightly.

"Thank You... Thank You..."

He pulls away only to pepper your face with kisses, being careful of his jagged teeth, and his hands slid up to pet and caress your hair lovingly. You giggle and attempted to pull away after a small while.

"Come on, Sweets. Love, we haven't finished searching, there's still the- mmf! Hah! Maze part!" He cut you off in the middle with a sudden kiss, but you managed to pull away and finish your sentence.

"Alright, Pumpkin. Let's See... Maze...Tattoo...Meaning... There!" You turn to look at the screen.

"Search of self? That seems not quite right... Wait. Add the word 'Celtic' in! Maybe, this is the same as the cross!"

"That Seems Like A Good Idea! There. It Means Clarity, Searching, Light, And Being Lost Then Found."

"Oh! That makes much more sense! It's perfect for you." You turn to face him again.

"Do You Think So?"

"I know so. You are a bright light in my life. You've been though that treacherous time in the underground, 'lost' yourself, then came out, 'finding' yourself once again... All of those words, they fit you perfectly." His eyesockets watered again. And he immediately pulled you in for a deep, passionate kiss.

When he pulled away, you both gazed lovingly at each other. Sweets spoke up first.

"Let's Continue This On A More, Comfortable Place."

"Bed?"

"Bed."

He adjusted your position on him and picked you up again. You squealed happily as he carried you to the bed, stealing kisses every few seconds.

When he finally plopped you down on the bed and crawled over to you, you grabbed his skull and pulled him into another passionate kiss. He falls on top of you, having not expected that. But he quickly recovered, and rolled you both on your sides so he doesn't crush you.

You both were lost in both your affection for each other. You may have forgotten to check the time, and might have lost a lot of time in the process. But, there's nowhere you'd rather be.

There. Done. That marks the end of my trip, and any large portions of free time. So, any requests after this one would take a while for me to finish. Well, more than 3 days at least. Hope y'all enjoy this fluffy as hell soulmate AU oneshot!

Also, birthmarks of both are below.

(1: Sweets's mark, 2: Reader's mark)

(Also, pics not mine, I just edited it.)

[jenonctcity]

Practice Makes Perfect

[1:34pm]

Lee Haechan – Angst, Fluff.

Hogwarts!Au

Word Count: 1.7k

Request: Slytherin Haechan practicing Defence Against the Dark Arts and accidentally hurting his significant other.

 The wind breezed against your face, leaving behind an unwelcomed chill in its wake as you sat in the transfiguration courtyard in between your two best friends. To your right was Jisung, a fifth year Gryffindor student, the two of you had known each other since Jisung’s first year when he’d accidentally turned his pet rat into a furry bookmark in the corner of the library. You’d heard the boys panicked squeal from where you were studying a few bookshelves down and had gone to see if he was okay. You’d taught him how to change the bookmark back into his beloved pet rat. From that moment the curious boy had stuck by your side and you were happy to take him under your wing like a little brother. And to your left was Chenle, another fifth-year student who had been sorted into Slytherin, the same house as you. You actually can’t remember meeting Chenle properly for the first time but you assumed it was sometime not long after you’d met Jisung. The two of them being partners in crime who did almost everything together when they weren’t forced apart by lessons. 

“What did he say he was practicing again?” Jisung’s voice made you look up from the notes that you’d taken during your last defence against the dark arts lesson you’d had. You followed his line of sight over to the handsome, dark-haired boy stood not too far away from you. His black robes blew as the breeze picked up again, showing off the emerald green insides to the robe, signifying his house of Slytherin. The boy was Haechan, your boyfriend of 3 years. Both of you were in your seventh and final year at Hogwarts now and your relationship had started midway through your fourth year. The yule ball had taken place that year and Haechan had finally plucked up the courage to ask you to be his date after crushing on you since the first time he saw you during the sorting hat ceremony. He was absolutely smitten for you even after all that time and he thought the earth revolved purely around you. His real name was Donghyuck, but for some reason he’d picked up the name Haechan and everyone, including the teachers, had stuck with it. You included. You only ever used his real name when you were angry at him, so he’d know it was serious.

“Oh just some old spell that we were taught a while ago in defence against the dark arts.” You pushed your hair out of your face and put your notes down. “You’ve probably been taught it, it’s a charm that can be used during a duel.” You glanced over at Jisung, his eyes now on you instead of on Haechan. “It sends your opponent flying back a few feet and depending on how strong the spell is can cause a sharp pain.”

“Oh.” Jisung’s silence confirmed to you that he hadn’t actually been taught that spell yet. “Cool.” He shrugged, averting his eyes back to Haechan. Chenle’s voice piqued up on your other side.

“So why is he practicing it on Jeno if it causes pain?” Chenle was always the one to go into depth with his questions. Where Jisung would ask a basic question and leave it at that, Chenle would dig for more information. But Jisung was always listening and soaking up the answers.

“Well I would assume that he’s using a weak version of the spell, but you’ll have to ask him.” Jeno was a Gryffindor student and fellow seventh year who had a knack for hurting himself and ending up in the hospital wing so it’s also likely that Haechan wasn’t using a weak spell and Jeno was just sucking up the pain. Haechan lowered his wand after Jeno had dodged one of his spells, turning his attention over to you. Having his attention on you made a smile arise on your face, sending a flurry of tiny baby butterflies flying around in your stomach.

“Baby why don’t you come and practice that shielding spell with me?” His voice called out to you, approaching you slowly and taking your hand in his own. He gave it a tug as an incentive for you to stand up and join him.

“But I’m not that good at it yet.” A pout formed on your lips, standing up unwillingly and hanging your head to the side, subconsciously acting cute. He let out a soft laugh, pulling you against his chest and wrapping his arms around your frame. A chaste kiss was pecked onto your lips as his lips touched your own. A loud gag was heard followed by the chorus of Chenle’s high pitched laugh. You couldn’t tell who gagged as your back was now to the immature boys behind you. You furrowed your eyebrows and twisted the top half of your body in Haechan’s hold, glaring at the boys still sat on the stone bench.

“Unless one of you two little fifth years want to be my test dummy?” Haechan’s voice had dropped down into a threatening tone, an eyebrow raising at the now silent and surprised boys. “What’s wrong? Pixie got your tongue?” His hold on you tightened, still staring at the stunned boys.

“Er…n-no I’m sure (Y/N) really wants to help you!” Chenle was the boy to break the silence, Jisung’s voice completely lost. Jisung had admitted to you not that long ago that he was really intimidated by Haechan and preferred to avoid conflict with at all cost.

“Yeah I had a feeling you’d say that.” Haechan mumbled with a roll of his eyes. He looked at you again, a smile coming back on his face. “Please baby, I have faith in you that you’ll block the spell!” He formed a pout on his own lips as a way of trying to persuade you to do as he wants.

“Fine!” You sighed with a giggle, pulling away from his hold and walking over to the centre of the courtyard. He took his position opposite you about 15 feet away and you both got into duelling positions with your wands pointing at each other and your free arms raised above your heads. The two of you made eye contact, Haechan’s left eye dropping down into a cheeky wink before he took one step forward and flicked his wand at you.

“Everte statum!” His voice was strong and confident as he cast the charm towards you with orange lights shooting out the end of his wand.

“Protego!” Your voice was the complete opposite, weak from your nerves and low confidence. You brought your wand up in front of you in a quick movement, but you had failed in your efforts. Haechan’s charm hitting you at full force, sending you catapulting through the air and landing on your side in crumbled heap on the floor right in front of Jeno’s feet. Before you’d hit the floor, you’d felt a sharp pain coursing through your body from head to toe, before making its way back through your body and staying there even after you’d landed. Haechan’s heart fell through the floor when he’d seen what he’d done to you. He had been sure that you would block his attack and he had confidence that he’d only produced a weak charm. His legs took him running to you as fast as they could carry him, his wand still held tightly in his grip.

“Holy shit!!!” Jeno gasped, kneeling down by your side as you writhed in pain for a few moments before the pain of the charm subsided. Jisung and Chenle had also jumped up from the bench and had hurried to the small crowd forming around you. Haechan had to push some noisy Hufflepuff students out of his way before he threw himself down on the floor beside you.

“Are you okay (Y/N)?!” He rolled you over onto your back. Cupping your face in his hands and tilting your head from side to side as his eyes scanned over your face and body to check for any signs of damage. Your eyes squinted in pain as the adrenaline had died off, your whole body aching at having been thrown so far.

“I think so.” You mumbled, trying to sit up slowly only to be pushed down suddenly to lay flat on the ground by Chenle.

“No stay there! You could paralyse yourself if you move!” He gasped, earning a death glare from Haechan, a confused look from Jeno, and a shocked look from Jisung.

“She hasn’t broken her back you idiot.” Haechan’s voice was cold, knocking Chenle out of the way with his shoulder as he stood to his feet. He leaned down and scooped you up into his arms before carrying you bridal style over to the bench you had been sitting on so peacefully before this whole ordeal took place. He sat down and continued to hold you against him, rocking you gently and pressing his lips to your forehead.

“I don’t think my blocking charm worked.” You said softly with a fake laugh, trying to lighten the mood before leaning your head on his chest and momentarily shutting your eyes.

“I am so sorry. I’m such a fucking idiot.” He sighed, his arms tightening around you as your body continued to ache. You knew you’d be really sore for the next few days, but you’d try to hide it from Haechan in an attempt to make him feel less guilt. “I shouldn’t have forced you to do it.”

“You didn’t force me.”

“Yes I did. I knew if I asked more than once that you’d give in and I shouldn’t have done that.” He let out another sigh, thankful that your friends had kept their distance from the two of you to give you some privacy. Apologising wasn’t something he did often to anyone other than you, but no one else how soft and smitten he was with you. It was something he liked to keep between the two of you to uphold his reputation of being someone who had no cares in the world.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” You opened your eyes to take his hand in your own, bringing it to you lips and pressing a lingering kiss to his fingertips, as a way to comfort him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

He sighed and you heard him gulp, resting his head on top of your own. “I love you.”

“I love you too…meanie.” You giggled as he let out a groan in guilt.

[golden-deer-dear]

Love of Mine, Chapter 5/5, a Claude x Byleth Fic

Summary:  They were so looking forward to the birth of the first child, but when complications arise, Byleth and Claude must face the fact that their moment of happiness could turn into a tragedy.

Notes:   Uh yeah, so I needed a break from writing kid Byleth and Claude, and decided to just go ahead and finish this. Thank you to everyone who stuck with me through this. Your support means a lot to me.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Read on AO3.

Love of Mine, Chapter 5

Kiana took a deep breath as the gate before her opened and the cheers of the crowd washed over her. As she stepped out into the blazing Almyran sunlight, the cheers reached a fever pitch. They knew what would happen at the end of this fight, and they had already embraced its outcome. Through the care and dedication she had shown her people, they had come to embrace her. 

“I am the King of Almyra, Dowager King of United Fódlan, Hero of the Western Wars, and Blessed of the Green Star! Who are you to challenge me?” 

Her father’s voice cut across the noise of the crowd, declaring the traditional battle cry that came before a coronation, and they waited with bated breath for her answer, despite knowing full well who she was. “I am Queen of a United Fódlan, Archbishop of its faith, Princess to the lands of Almyra, She Who Blessed the West with Water, and Bulwark of a Nation!” 

At her words the crowd shouted again, and she had to wait for them to calm before she could speak once more. “I have come to claim the throne of Almyra! Through birthright I challenge you, and by my strength shall I prove worthy!”

Kiana came on hard and fast, dodging to the side when she felt her father’s axe disturbed the air near her. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, adrenaline fueling every spell and punch. This fight was her destiny, and she would not fail.

/

“Tear him apart, Kiana!” 

“Uh, Tessa, that is your father down there.”

Tessa rolled her eyes and waved a hand at her in law. “Oh, she knows I don’t mean literally, Hanneman. Besides, that’s your wife!”

“And I’m very proud of her,” Hanneman said, as calmly as they ever did. Cyril and Lysithea’s child, named for the man who had given Lysithea back the years of her life before he passed on, stood at Byleth’s side, watching over the children that played at the former archbishop’s feet.

Tessa’s mother, the revered Byleth, queen of two nations and leader of a religion for many years, seemed so much happier with her burdens removed. Despite the laughter lines around her eyes, and the grey streaking her once rare green hair, she seemed younger sitting there holding Kiana and Hanneman’s third child. The older two, only six and four, had been entertaining each other until their mother appeared. Now they stood with eager faces pressed against the railing of the royal box as they watched their mother and grandfather fight.

Tessa clicked her tongue in distaste and turned, her skirts swirling out around her and transforming her every movement into a dramatic effect. She had long ago learned to wield fashion as effectively as any other weapon available to her. She sank onto a lounge next to her fiance, leaning into the other woman’s side. It wasn’t that she disliked her in law, she just never really saw eye to eye with them. Hanneman was much too business comes first for her taste, but it did make them a good ruler. And her sister loved them, so tolerating their presence was the least she could do.

“Lucina, love, how are you doing? Is there anything I can get you?” Tessa asked as she hooked her arms around one of her fiance’s own. She caught the flash of her mother’s smile out of the corner of her eye, and it warmed her own soul. 

“No.” Lucina shook her head with a smile on her lips. “I’m fine. I’m just reminded of Ferox right now.”

The adventurer in Tessa jumped for joy at the mention of the other kingdom. “You’ll have to take me there when we go back to Ylisse. Father will be fascinated.” The fact that her parents had agreed to go to Ylisse with her when Tessa went back for her marriage only made her more eager to leave. And Byleth seemed very interested in the alternate version of Lucina that had come back in time to fight in a war beside her parents. It was a fascinating topic, but Tessa preferred her version of Lucina. 

It was not that she did not enjoy being in Almyra that made Tessa want to leave, but she knew it would always be there for her to come home to. It was what made Tessa serve so well as her sister’s ambassador. Kiana touched the hearts of their people at home, and Tessa reached out to those beyond their borders. 

“It’s almost over,” Byleth said softly, drawing everyone’s attention back to the fight.

Claude had once been the most feared warrior in Almyra, challenged only by his queen. But his movements had started to slow with age, his grey hair proof of the toll time had exacted upon him. Kiana threw fire from her fists, reading the changes in the air to determine where her father moved. Tessa had to admire Kiana’s fighting style every time she saw it. It was something unique to her sister. Kiana had mastered preparing spells while throwing punches and kicks, releasing their potency right beneath her enemy’s nose. 

Kiana landed a particularly vicious hit across Claude’s jaw, lightning sparking at his flesh as she hit. The King of Almyra hit the floor hard, rising to his feet a minute later with the help of his daughter, all without his crown. No, that belonged to Kiana now. 

Tessa’s beloved older sister was now queen of two countries. 

She leapt up, cheering her sister’s name louder than anyone else in the crowd. Even Hanneman let loose a cry of triumph for their wife. 

And through it all, Byleth smiled, soft and serene, surrounded by the people she loved most in the world. The burdens of leadership were removed from her shoulders, and the joy Tessa saw in those mint green eyes, eyes she had inherited, made her own fill with tears. 

Her mother had sacrificed so much over the years. She deserved to spend the rest of her life proud of her children, spoiling her grandchildren rotten, and spending time with the man she had come back for time and time again.

/

“You’re missing a party.”

Byleth leaned back into Claude’s strong arms as he joined her on the balcony, wrapping her in his warm embrace. Even after all these years, she could still marvel at how wonderful she felt when he held her close. “It is a party for the young, the generation we have passed the world to. Right here, on this balcony with you, is the only place I need to be right now.”

Claude hummed against her hair, his lips kissing the top of her head before he laid his cheek against her. “How did Seteth take the news?”

“He knew. He knew long ago when the first grey hair appeared.” Byleth sighed heavily, a sudden chill going through her. It was the one regret she had about choosing to give up the long life the crest stone in her heart would offer her. She did not want to cause Seteth and Flayn another hurt, but her place was with Claude. “He said he wasn’t sure how I had done it, especially with his blood and Rhea’s in my veins, but didn’t seem surprised.”

“I’d like to know how you did it,” Claude pointed out. “An eternity with you doesn’t sound so bad.”

Byleth smiled and shook her head, turning in her husband’s embrace. Her hand lingered on the bruise across his jaw, softly caressing the marred skin. “We have our own eternity right here. Look.” She took his hand and led him to the center of the balcony where the night sky sparkled up at them as moonlight played on precious gemstones embedded in black stone. They shone brightly, the static sky on the night Claude had purposed, matching the moving stars above. “They’re in the same positions,” Byleth pointed out, lifting her head to look at the heavens.

“Huh. They really are. I lost track of where everything was with Kiana’s coronation.” He swept Byleth back into his arms, swaying gently to a simple melody he began to hum. 

Byleth let him lead the dance, harmonizing with her own tune. She smiled up at him, Claude’s face, no less handsome for the years that weighed upon it, was illuminated by starlight. She knew she would want for nothing else the rest of her years. However many were left, they would all be spent side by side with the man she loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I FINISHED A FIC! Guys, you have no idea how hard it is for me to finish a multi chapter fic! I am really happy right now!

[dailyaudiobible]

06/15/2020 DAB Transcript

1 Kings 14:1-15:24, Acts 10:1-23, Psalms 133:1-3, Proverbs 17:7-8

Today is the 15th day of June welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is great to be here with you as we move into our week, continue our journey through this month of June, and continue our journey through the Bible. So, we’re in the book of first Kings in the Old Testament and things have kinda fallen apart. So, Solomon had his reign, brought Israel to its apex. His son Rehoboam succeeded him as king but 10 of the tribes defected or rebelled or abandoned Rehoboam’s rule and…and abandoned the house of David, for that matter and have appointed their own king's name is Jeroboam. He’s the King of Israel while Rehoboam, Solomon's son is king of Judah. Rehoboam is…it would be good…Jeroboam and Rehoboam sound very similar. So, it's easy for us to get kind of mixed up. It would be good for us to just know who we’re talking about here. Jeroboam the King of Israel, the 10 tribes of the north has lead Israel into idolatry by setting up golden calves in Dan in the north and Bethel in the South. Those are the borders of his kingdom. And now a nation that was once one chosen people has been divided into two different nations who have animosity for each other. So, we pick up that story. We’ reading from the New Living Translation this week. First Kings 14:1 through 15:24.  

Commentary:

Alright. So, in the Old Testament today in the book of first Kings, now is the time that we've gottta…we’ve gotta pay attention to the fact that these 12 tribes that we watched form…I mean we watched the 12 sons who whose offspring became the 12 tribes of Israel, we watched them be born and we watched them in slavery, we watched all of the things that they did, including the wandering in the wilderness but they unified as a people, as a family. And this family was united under King Saul. But then…well…we know the story that happened there. And, so, the house of David rose up and the tribes had all ratified this. This king who was from Judah was going to be king of Israel. They all had to get behind this. And, so, they got behind David. And remember the story of David. We see why they got behind David, because everybody knew he was running from Saul and everybody knew he was a great leader in Israel. So, when David died Solomon ascended to the throne, although there was…there was some drama, some significant drama involved in that, but Solomon ascended the throne and brought this unified Israel, this unified monarchy to its apex. And then Solomon drifted away from God. And it…you know…it was a brief description of what happened. The wives and concubines that he had, he started trying to pacify them and let them worship their own gods and he was seduced away. We’ll…we’ll hear more about these things as we continue through the Bible, especially when we do the book of Ecclesiastes. But after Solomon's reign things fell apart. So, Solomon's son, David's grandson, Rehoboam became king of Israel and everybody came together to ratify that he would be the king over all the tribes of Israel, but he was arrogant and he told the people, especially of the northern tribes that he was going to make life even more difficult for them than his father had made. And, so, they rebelled and made Jeroboam their king. And now there are 10 tribes in the north, the nation of Israel and two tribes in the south, the nation of Judah. I say all that by way of review because we are in the books of the Kings, the books of the kings of Judah and Israel. And they…they weren't born and they didn't die on the same day. So, there's gonna be plenty of overlap. Like even in today's reading, Jeroboam the King of Israel in the North has been prophetically rejected by God, but his reign went on for a couple of decades. In the meantime, Rehoboam lived and reigned and his son succeeded him, and his grandson succeeded him, and we see…we should note that the kings of Israel and Judah, after Solomon's reign, they were not loyal to their covenant with God until king Asa of Judah, which we briefly read about today, began to turn things back around, began to serve God as his ancestor King David had done. So, in so many ways it is like we’re repeating the book of Judges only in a very organized political military. Again, in the book of Judges everybody's doing what's right in their own eyes and now everybody can’t do what’s right in their own eyes. The king can. But this thing that they thought was gonna unite them and make everything better was just a brief temporary fix. The thing that will hold them together is their covenant with God but seems to be the thing that’s disposable. And we will continue this journey as we move through many, many generations and centuries of Kings who ruled in Israel and who ruled in Judah.

In the New Testament some pretty significant developments are happening in the book of Acts, things that have implications that are far, far, far reaching and actually craft the story of the early church. So Cornelius, Roman centurion, is a God-fearing man. And this is what the Hebrew people called a Gentile person who wasn't converting to Judaism but was attempting to live among the Hebrew people and worship among the people and honor the God of the Hebrew people. They were God-fearing and respected, and this was a respected man who had a vision telling them to send for Peter. Like just send some people south out of Joppa and get Peter and bring him back because he had some things to say. So, he does obey that. Meanwhile, Peter’s on the roof of a house in Joppa having a vision of his own – a sheet coming down full of animals that are, under the Mosaic law, unclean. And Peter is being told to eat those animals, like…like to disobey the law. Like something new is afoot and Peter is confused. He's like, “I've never…like I can't. I've never done anything like that…like this. I've never let anything unclean touch my lips to eat them.” And then in the vision he’s told what God has made clean is clean. Like, so something new is happening. And then these people arrive to…to pick up Peter and Peter’s told to go with them. We have to remember that Cornelius is not a Hebrew, he’s a Gentile. And the things that Peter’s seen in this sheet; those are the kinds of things that Gentiles eat. They’re unclean. And we are beginning to practically see that this new thing that God is doing in the world through Jesus, this thing that's forming in the world called the church that is evolving right after Jesus ministry may in fact be a little different than anybody was thinking because up until this point, Jesus was considered by some to be the Hebrew Messiah, pretty much rejected by most. That could be true. But everything Jesus had done was in a Hebrew context, and His ministry was in a Hebrew context to mostly Hebrew people and His message was very, very much in the Hebrew context. He was a rabbi who commented on all on the customs and on the Hebrew people. So, what's going on here with an angel telling a Gentile to go get Peter? And what's going on here with Peter seeing unclean things that are now permitted? A vast shift with far, far reaching implications is afoot in the early church in the book of Acts. And we will watch that come to fruition in the days ahead.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for your faithfulness to us in our lives. And father as we come to the Scriptures each day, we ask that you would lead us into all truth. This is a promise one that we hold onto. And, so, we continue our journey forward believing that you will continue to lead and guide our steps through the Scriptures, through our understanding of them, and through the way that we live our lives because of them. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the hotline button in the app, little red button at the top. And just…yeah…I love that thing. It’s like, if you’ve got the Daily Audio Bible app you…you got a hotline and a hotline to people who are gonna pray. And, so, I love that. So, hit the hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB this is David the beloved child of God in Northern California it’s been well over a year since I’ve called in. I’m still involved with young life doing ministry to adolescents and you could be praying for that community all over the world. It’s been especially hard in the COVID-19 pandemic. And young life camps are closed throughout America this summer. So, pray for creativity for young life leaders. Also, I just want to say, Jesse from Washington. I don’t know what it is about you brother but every time you call in I just…you’re on my heart. You’ve been on my prayer list for many, many months and I’m praying for you. Just know that. I’m not very good about praying a lot of the phone here but for some reason you’re the one guy that I just continually…every time I hear you call and it just piques my ears and I pay attention. Praying for faithfulness. Praying for you specifically to stay faithful to your wife. Stay strong stay encouraged. And then finally family, I would ask that you would pray for my neighbors Randall and Debra. Randall has stage IV cancer. Doctors aren’t given him much prognosis for a healthy lifestyle going forward and maybe two years to live at the most. First off and more than anything I ask that you would be praying for a miracle. My wife and I are praying for him and his wife is really losing hope. So, pray for Deborah that she would have hope. Pray for a miracle for Randall who is also having trouble sleeping. Jesse also just want to let you know I’m praying against all the attack of gossip that your wife is experiencing. Stay strong family. Love you. Bye-bye. This is David the Beloved from Northern California.

Good morning DABbers this is in response to Abby who called in and to the mothers who are weary of being afraid of what might happen to their children of…and for the families who have lost members to violence. I don’t have my own wisdom other than to say I long Lord to be a part of the solution and not the problem. So, I want to pray for Micah 6:8. What does the Lord require of you? To do justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. So, Lord I pray that You would work justice in my heart, in my thoughts, in my words to others, and my actions. Open my eyes to see injustice around me and give me the courage to speak and act against it. Lord, let me show kindness to all I encounter, to remember that they are made in Your image and so treat others as Kin. And Lord let me walk humbly with You, banish pride, and to love in Your name. I pray wisdom and humility in our leaders. Oh Lord, help our country Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name. Amen.

I am a longtime listener and a first-time caller and I’m just going to call myself Virginia from Dallas because that’s who I am. My name is Virginia and I’m living in Dallas Texas. And at the beginning of the year, Daniel the Kingdom Seeker sung a song and…and he released a word and it said “rest, trust and worship.” And I realized how much we were going to need that as we began our journey through 2020 - the rest, the trust in our God, and the worship that will get us through. And, so, daily when I…when I start my work day of course it’s at home now and part of the prayer that I pray it says rest trust and worship and O Lord even in this day’s most stressful moments may I rest in you. Increase my love for Your word and Your people and let passion rise within me. Let the fire of the Holy Spirit rise inside of me in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus, in the matchless name of our Savior. And I just wanted to say to my brother how much I appreciate that word and how it has carried me through the tribulations of 2020. I love you DABbers. I listen and I pray along with you. I remember you. I love you. And I thank God for community that understands the power of love and prayer. Brian…

I would just like to ask for prayer request. I’m in a marriage. I accepted Christ about six years ago and my husband has not, and this causes me to struggle with my faith. So, right now I’m just struggling really hard trying to believe God’s word and deal with my husband at the same time. It just keeps putting doubts in my head. So, I’m just…just requesting prayer for me for like God to strengthen my faith and pray for my husband that isn’t saved. Thank you so much. I just joined this about a week ago and I’m loving it and I wish that I joined it so I could have been a part of this from the beginning of the year, but I’m thankful that it is now part of my life and I’m getting in the word more. So, I’m thankful for that and if you could just please lift me and my husband up in prayer and most importantly pray for my strength in…in God and these doubts from the enemy just stop because I feel like I’m being attacked right now. Thank you and have a great day.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family this Taria calling from Chicago. I’ve called in a couple of times before with prayer requests for my family and to offer encouragement to others but today I’m calling because I just learned that a gentleman that’s done some work with me around my house for the better part of 10 years now just shared with me that his son and his wife have recently passed away. He lost his son earlier this year and lost his wife just not even a month ago. He and his wife came to America over 40 years ago to build a better life for them and their small family. He is now here separated from the majority of his family from his home country and his support system and it just breaks my heart that such a wonderful hard-working loving person is just dealing with so much on top of everything else that’s going on in 2020. So, I’m just asking for the Daily Audio Bible family to pray for Mr. Batista, that he can get through this extremely difficult time and just be surrounded by all the love and faith and endurance that it’s gonna require of him to…to stay strong. Thank you very much.

Good morning prodigal I’m glad to hear your story. You know what? Israel fell to pieces because they didn’t know who they are. America falls to pieces because she’s been torn apart by her internal strife. My family was torn apart because we didn’t know who we were and that’s how it’s been. But I know I’ve got a Father who cares about justice. I’ve got a God of hope as it says in Romans. It fills me with all joy and peace as I serve Him. And I know that He cares to put good food on my plate, He cares about who I am because my Father is the prize…kind of person I want to be. My Father walked here on earth in the person of Jesus Christ. He showed exactly what sort of family I’m a part of. And prodigal I’m proud to be in your family. I’m proud to call you my brother and I’m also proud that we have a Father that cares to do justice in the courts of heaven. And that’s exactly where we belong. Even on this moment on our knees while were waiting for revival to break out in America where there’s fighting and violence on the spirit of consternation and if frustration and of anger has its way, I know that the Holy Spirit is on the wave behind that. I know that my God is great and just, greatly to be praised. His Angels are mighty and waiting for us to pray the word and to release them into the atmosphere around these cities. He’s waiting for us to be strong in Him not in who we are here in flesh but in Spirit. And I praise the Lord for watching over ...

Convicted Beyond Measure what a glorious and beautiful name. I heard your prayer, your plea this morning and was overwhelmed with the heart of the Lord for you. A sweet and soft kind love, the embrace of a loving parent who weeps over their child in sadness and in joy. And what a wonderful name Convicted Beyond Measure, for conviction in Christ is the realization of how much we are loved. Lord I ask for my sibling that you give them peace, peace not in their emotions but peace in their soul knowing that You are in control. Lord, open their eyes to Your work that they might not be distracted by their own faults and flaws or distracted by the works of the enemy but see Your hand in all things and hold fast to that so that they may follow You and bring healing and love and joy and peace and kindness and gentleness wherever they go just as their Father and their brother Lord Jesus Christ did before them. Amen.

[mtnkat3]

10.12am

Whimpering softly moan & sobbing & wobbly & teary tooo... then why... because You wanted to see me but didn't want to disrupt family time?

my Love/s...DOne... I want to meet them tooo. Alll of Your/Alll's family's & close friends. Yeah, DPOne... even. Shuddering shaky breath.

I just hope I don't embarrass You Alll because I'm chubby. Right now. If my feet weren't swollen I'd be walking on the beach. Even walking to search for DPOne... but right now my left foot especially is at least twice normal size. Almost like when I had sun poisoning. So I'm sitting in the shade, trying to stay off it, using 3 aleve. [Worried about kidneys but got to.] Hobbling ... I went & for my duffles out at 5.30am. No bra or panties, just tank, shorts, jacket & hat, & slowly got my stuff reorganized. Neat freak/ocd... nerves.

💡🤓🤔 on Your terms. Not mine. But You Alll wanted to seee me there tooo? Making the effort...?

Even did the continental breakfast at 7am. I'm kinda proud of myself! ☺️😊😉😏

It's hard for me to do that. I'd rather get something then take it to my room. But that's not what You/Alll are wanting me to learn.

You/Alll want me to be out & living again!

Should I wear that new hat... or ... I got Grunt, favorite pink, some beachy ones I had embroidered with Tijgeress. 🤔

Heck, I'm wearing a pink snug fitting tank with "faith over fear' on the front. Ironically... the over ↔️ is under my boobs! Lmao! &...can see the burn/tan lines.🙄 & black workout skort.

I'm hoping to be able to walk later today. & I found 100 proof protection at publix! That, hat & sarong I think will help protect everything. Sigh. It's ridiculous because I was always tan as a kid! But when I turned from dirty blonde to auburn...the skin went milky fair. So then my veins are kinds obvious.

Sleeping in a king size bed... I'm stretching across it, hugging all the pillows & crying. .. taking a shower in that huge four person box... that one is hard... & not Your/Alll's hard bodies... whimpering moan. I had to focus on the poor water pressure barely getting my hair wet to not go completely off into the ether... still messed up with the whole cst vs est. Last time was Holland in 2000. Haven't been anywhere but mb & hhi.

Anyways. I digress!

I wanna make Alll of our dreams come true my Love/s!!! I wanna see smiles of happiness every morning when You/Alll wake up beside me.

I want to be One with You/Alll ...

[Just popped in my head.]

nibble on my neck...

hold me... touch me... let me touch You/Alll... You/Alll know I'm very tactile... very sensory... primal... wanna sit across my beloved Bear/s so badly... show You/Alll my love is more than enough to overflow Your/Alll's tanks... & I mean the love tank...

Not the water treatment I can seee...

I mean that You/Alll will feeel my love so deeply, richly, fully for eternity that You/Alll are the happiest maverick Bear/s walking the planet! Full of honey...milk... cinnamon...sugar... cause not an inch of You/Alll I don't wanna cover in kisses. Including scars & tattoos.

That the baby squealing in upset & terror [that is loud even on 4th flr] because never been in a pool... won't be ours... get them in the water as infants! [I'm really the only one in my family who enjoys swimming. Can't You/Alll tell??? Long showers... mainly enjoying the water beating me... sheepish blushin grin. but love pools & wanna get back in the ocean too.]

my Love/s... I wanna sleep in Your/Alll's arms & know that I'm loved. & that I'm safe. & free. Finally. To be the woman I am. Inside. Still shy but the insecurities faded from memory with effort, & Your/Alll's love making me feel beautiful. That You/Alll think of kissing my neck, hugging my body back into Your/Alll's... that You Alll want me... that way... that it's only me that makes You/Alll feel the way...You/Alll make me feeel... our dynamic. Not society's. Ours. Maverick Bear/s...King/s... & Your/Alll's queen Tijgeress. Finding my feet, as You/Alll slowly lead me out of the darkest tunnel... I am coming out of the cajoling cocoon.. into a beautiful life. With You/Alll. Alll I will ever want in the whole of the universe.

I want to make every day beautiful, bright, special, & happy for each of You/Alll!!!

I love You/Alll beyond measure DOne, DPOne, & Alll.

And yes, I miss You/Alll in my sleep tooo.

Oh geeish t!🙄😏 this is me. Wanting to be connected to You/Alll & hating closing!

I love & adore & want & desire & need & crave & knewd & want & crave & goin bonkers here!!!

I am Your's/s' dangit DOne DPOne &Alll!!!

Get it thru Your/Alll's heads

& please... OMG...please... please... Bear/s... come 'ere... cause... I'm coming to find You DPOne... DOne... & Alll!!!

But DPOne... if I start knocking on homes... whimpering. I won't freak people out? Chewing lips..

I need You/Alll here. Help me. Please? DPOne? DOne? Alll?

[This is typical of me. Especially with You/Alll. Why I use it. But under "kneeling." Wth🙄🤔]

I am Your's/s'.

Every which way but loose.

11.23am. cst.

[loveleads]

Pressing in to hear the sound of God’s voice in your life

Do you hear God’s voice? Do you know how He speaks to you? I grew up in a “Christian” home. We went to church regularly, we prayed before meals, we did what we knew to be right, my father served as an elder at our church and I went to youth group faithfully. I knew who God was and I was saved at the age of 16 when I attended the Harvest Crusade with Greg Laurie while Crystal Lewis sang the song “come just as you are”. I was a good kid in high school, I attended a Christian college and then worked at my church for the next 10 years. I met and married a Christian guy, we got married in our church and faithfully attended service each week. I was a good, Christian girl.

Fast forward 10 years. We started going to a new church. One that did not fit the mold of what church looked like for me growing up. I grew up with a lot of rules, ways to not disappoint God. I was taught that when you do good, God is pleased and when you do bad, God is disappointed. That along with life, crazy hard complicated life, taught me that if I behave good, then I am good. If I behave bad, then I must be bad. Having to live up to unreachable standards almost wrecked me.

 We started attending this new church, a place where people worshiped freely, sang and danced, prayed in tongues and prayed for and expected healing. It was a church that made me feel uncomfortable. We continued to attend church service each week because Matt was on fire, he was sure this was the place our family needed to be. I respected where he was and I continued to show up, waiting and hoping to feel the same. The more we attended this church, the more out of place I felt. People were hearing God’s voice. Daily. They were getting words from the Lord for themselves and for others. At first, this scared me but I pressed in. I started wondering why the power of the Holy Spirit scared me, why did these things that I knew were from the Lord, scare me? I mean isn’t the bible filled with awe and wonder? Isn’t it filled with prayer and worship? Miracles and healings? Weeks passed and I realized I was yearning for more. I so desperately wanted what the people from that church had. I started boldly asking for God to speak to me.

Weeks past and I got nothing. It broke me. Literally broke me. In August of last year I was struggling. I was asking the Lord to speak directly to me, like He did to so many other people in my life. Yet He was quiet, or so I thought. September 2017 was a breaking point for me. I remember I felt like I was stuck and I needed someone to help me out of the hole I dug myself in. Matt and I would go back and forth with talks about God, about his experience and about mine. He encouraged me to speak to one of our leaders, to ask the hard questions and to seek the counsel I so desperately needed.

 That is when I felt a shift, I sat with my friend and shared with her my battle, I told her where I have been and where I currently was. She spoke words of truth over my life, encouraged and equipped me to press in. I started asking the Lord boldly for Him to speak to me, for Him to be real in my life. I realized that day, the Lord is faithful, He is speaking to me and has been for as long as I could remember.

 Have you ever listened for the Lord’s voice? Growing up, I was taught to pray to the Lord for things, to fix things, to receive things, to help things. I was really good at having a one way conversation with God. After my coffee date with my Pastor and friend, I remember going for a walk where I literally just listened for the Lord’s voice. I got nothing. I prayed for Him to speak to me and heard nothing. Discouraged and disappointed yet I kept pressing in. I have done a lot of talking to the Lord but rarely do I sit and listen to what He has to say.

I love how the Lord doesn’t just give us what we ask for when we ask for it, I love (okay I actually don’t love it but I have come to love what happens after) that He keeps us waiting. If I have learned anything the past two years of my crazy messy life, it is that the good stuff absolutely comes in the waiting. This is the time you are most vulnerable, this is the time you are clinging to Him and His truths. It is in the waiting that He can provide unexplainable peace, a time He builds our character, it is when He molds us to be more of who He created us to be. It is in the waiting that we learn how to preserve, how to fight the good fight, how we learn to “Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

God has shown me much grace this past year. He has absolutely reminded me how truly loved and valued I am in His kingdom and He has given me the gift of hearing His voice. John 10:27 says: “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them and they follow me”. I am a feeler, I feel things deeply and I feel things often. The area to which I have always felt most embarrassed by (because really, I cry all the time, I have always been super sensitive and I have always felt super embarrassed by my emotions) is the very thing God uses to speak to me. Daily. When I started paying attention to my feelings, when I started praying about the things that broke my heart, that is when I heard the Lord speak to me. It comes fast, words just start flowing. Almost always in my head and I have learned that when it happens, to grab my phone and write it down. Some of my posts on FB have been just that, words that just flowed out of my mouth, right out of my heart.

I remember when we first started attending our church. I was literally praying weekly that the Lord would speak to my heart in a very obvious way. Matt had received prophetic words multiple times by multiple different people. It took me 17 months for that prayer to be answered. This past Sunday, our pastor spoke on hearing God’s voice. He said everything that has been in my heart this past year. He described my exact journey to finding God’s voice and it was a beautiful thing. And then after service he spoke over my life in such a powerful and obvious way. It was the Lord speaking right to my heart, it was everything I have been asking for and needing. It was beautiful, everything I hoped it would be. Had I gotten that message a year ago, I might not have been ready. God needed to work on my heart some before this message was delivered to me but once it was, it was powerful. It was in that year long wait that I was refined, transformed and made new because of a desire to know God more.

This past Sunday, God gave me permission to speak. He gave me permission to feel. He gave me permission to check myself every time I get a nudge, what could God be saying to me in this moment? He confirmed that it was Him speaking to me all these years and it was Him promising me He will continue to speak to me, even when I doubt, even when I fear. 

Oh and I have to tell you the best part of this story…. Remember when I said I was waiting, waiting for the Lord to speak to me, desperately seeking Him? Yeah well we started attending this church during a very difficult season of my life. Ella was having some serious testing done. I was at the very bottom, feeling alone and scared. This church wrapped their loving arms around our family. Ella had an MRI done (which about wrecked me) and we were waiting on blood test results. People from this church would come up to me, people I didn’t even know, and ask how Ella was doing, they told me they were praying for her all week. And you guys, they were! They absolutely meant that they spent time that week going after Ella’s healing on our behalf. That Sunday, the pastor asked if we could come up on stage, that they wanted to lay hands on Ella and pray for that the results we were waiting on would come back normal (and guess what? They did! But that is a story for another day). Now I carry around some past hurt, some moments that I personally watched people struggle and I stood by as the church quietly turned their heads away from the heartbreak. Something I am learning to extend grace to now, but this moment, yeah this moment touched my heart in a way nothing else could. My family’s struggle was known, it was seen, it was understood. This was the Lord speaking to me, this was the moment I was waiting for although I couldn’t understand it at the time, this was God speaking to my heart. I look back to this moment and realize that the Lord was saying to me: “Beloved, I am in this, I am here with you, I am creating an army, a powerful army, to surround you and you will see miracles happen because of this moment.”  

I came home from church on Sunday and felt a mixture of emotions. I was thankful, I felt like God affirmed in me that He actually sees me, I felt truly known by Him. But if I am honest, I also felt a little fear and maybe a little doubt. I tried to fight them but it was hard so instead of trying to make sense of my fear, I took it to the Lord. I have learned that speaking out my mess is way better then holding it in. Matt and I have developed such a deep relationship because of the vulnerable things we can share with one another nowadays. When we share our mess with someone, it becomes less messy. We take away the mess’s power to control our mind and our hearts. I prayed that the Lord would help me, take away all uncertainties and fill me with what He has for me. And this is when I heard God say to me: “You hear me, I know you do but then you allow my voice to be quieted. You allow insecurities and doubt to fill your mind. You tell yourself all the things you aren’t when I am quietly telling you all the things you are. You are my beloved child. You are worth fighting for so I will continue to pursue you, I will continue fight for you.” And friends, He says the same thing about you. I am 100% sure if this messy, broken, selfish girl has the Lord speaking to her, the Lord is also speaking to you.

God, you are so good. I am so thankful and grateful that I have decided to press in, not to give up, not to run from you and your promises. I am so happy to know that you do and have always spoken to my heart, I just needed to learn how to hear you. Doubt and insecurities fill my mind but you are bigger than those things, if I press in to you, I will no doubt become less of those two things. Do you want to hear the Lord’s voice in your life? Press in. And then press in a little harder for a little longer. He is there and He is more than ready to speak to your heart.

[multiverseofimagines]

Seven Wonders [ Billy Hargrove x Reader]

[ Based off Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac]

Description: Billy Hargrove never thought he would live long enough to see love, let alone everything it comes with.

Warnings: Angst, Suicidal thoughts, Brief mention of abuse, Homophobic slur, mention of religion?? Kinda?

Authors note: This was so fucking hard for me to write, because  I’m just really in my feelings right now and it took me like a week. So, here’s this shitty, fic. Enjoy my pain.

Requests: Open

1; So it’s hard to find Someone with that kind of intensity

Billy Hargrove was anything but a lover, but he wanted to be. It was difficult for the broken boy though, the only love he had remembered was that of his Mother’s. She had a heart of gold, ice cold eyes and honey suckle hair. She did nothing but give her heart to everyone and everything around her, doing so with passion. The type of passion worth getting emotional over, a passion greater than selfish desire. Pure passion to make others happy.

Though Billy wanted the same passion fired heart as his Mother’s, he felt as if it was too out of reach. At this point, though if the boy wanted to love, he needed to love himself first.

That was going to be a challenge.

How could he love himself? All he ever did was fuck things up and push people away.

But you didn’t see that.

You saw a boy who was capable of more than he bargained for; A boy with so much love to give, but not knowing how to give it. 

This was because you saw so much of him, in yourself.

You met Billy mid November, he was well known for a shitty reputation. This reputation really pushed you away from him, but you couldn’t deny feeling some sort of pull towards him. He was like a car wreck; Awful but you couldn’t look away.

He noticed this, because he had felt it too. Though you weren’t as talked about, nor were you known for the reputation he was, not a lot of people liked you. You were awkward, and had a uniqueness to you that other girls didn’t have in Hawkins. But not everyone saw this in the positive light that he did. 

He saw you as the ocean he held so dearly to his heart, beautiful, mysterious and filled with many different wonders. 

All he wanted to do was dive in,  and find out what was inside of the waves you had created to keep people out. And that’s exactly what he did.

Billy started to try and converse with you, but you were stubborn and afraid to let people in, not knowing their intentions. Especially his.  He would ask you for a pencil, and you’d lie and say yours was the last one, when both of you knew damn well you kept many. He would find you in the hall putting your items into your locker, and the minute he would walk up to you, you’d slam the locker shut and walk away. It was like trying to catch the wave while he was still on land, impossible.

But he never gave up, he was determined to befriend you, yet he didn’t even have a reason other than your mysterious beauty. But, with Billy he never needed a reason, he just did what he pleased. That’s why when your English teacher spoke of an assigned partner project, you could have sworn when Billy went to go talk to the teacher, that he had somehow begged to be put with you, and he was.

Billy walked over to your desk, plopping in the infamous empty seat beside you. You turned to look at him, confusion plastered on your face, but somehow happiness radiating from your heart.

“ Guess I’m stuck with ya’ princess.” 

And he wouldn’t want it any other way.

2;You touched my hand I played it cool And you reached out your hand for me

One of the only way’s Billy was ever going to learn how to love was to open up about his feelings. Though to anyone on the outside, that seemed easy enough. He showed a lot of emotion, mostly anger and smugness. But when you were on the inside looking in, it was a completely different perspective.

The project was going well, though you two had only worked together once within the week, progress was pursuing. That is until the second meetup. You two had planned to work on the project at your house that night, at 7:00 on the dot.

But when Seven had rolled around, there was no Billy. And it was an understatement to say you were just upset, you were almost heartbroken. You had put trust into even inviting him to your home, even when you felt slightly uncomfortable with it. You wanted to genuinely give him a chance and he bailed out on you, not even calling to let you know.

It was now 10pm, you were in bed reading, as usual. That’s when out of a leap of faith, there was a knock on your bedroom window, and it was none other than Billy Hargrove. You almost considered letting him freeze in the November wind, or perhaps push him to the ground. But you cared somewhat for the curly haired asshole, so opened the window.

Billy Hargrove had just climbed through your window, bloody nose, bruised face and tear stains covering his cheeks. To say you had a clue on what to do was a lie, you had no idea.

“ Billy, oh my god“  You furrowed your eyebrows, placing a hand on his arm awkwardly, yet in comfort.

“Sorry for ditching out on you Princess, kinda got tied up in something.” He laughed sarcastically, instantly wincing afterwards. He pulled away from your touch to go sit on your bed, “ Nice house you got.” He acted so casually, like nothing was wrong, as if he didn’t have dried blood leaking from his nose or a black eye. 

You sat beside him on the bed, crossing your legs and leaning against the headboard “ How’d you know this was my room?” You asked remaining calm, yet your instincts screamed at you to demand an explanation of some sort.

“ Lucky guess.” He smirked, still admiring your awfully messy yet whimsical room. He was finally getting touch of the wave. 

“ And if it were my parents room?” You cocked an eyebrow, smirking back at him.

“ Then I guess I’d be a dead man.” You both chuckled quietly, not wanting to wake your parents up and making that statement a reality. After a few minutes of awkward silence, you spoke up again. This time not holding back.

“ Billy, what happened?” You looked at him and focused on his injuries. He smiled slightly, but it wasn’t a genuine smile.

“ Don’t worry about me Y/N. I’m okay.” He said, looking down, not wanting to meet your gaze, afraid that you would see the tears forming at the edge of his eyes.

“ You’re not okay Billy.” You now knew that the way he put himself out in school was all an act, but you didn’t know what for. Was it a crave for attention? Was it to feel powerful? So many questions were to be answered on your bed that night.

“ Don’t tell me how I fucking feel Y/N.” And with that, it was as if a faucet had turned on inside of him, tears leaking from his eyes, uncontrollably. Yet, no sounds or emotion to it, just tears. You didn’t know what to do, you barley knew the Billy Hargrove from school, how were you supposed know what to do with this one?

But your heart told you to do something, to leap out of your comfort zone. To trust.

You leaned forward slightly, reaching your arm out carefully before placing your hand on top of his, squeezing lightly. This action surprised him, for it had been so long that he had felt a loving hand touch him in such a way. He looked back at you longingly, but not with romance, with a sense of friendship and belonging.

3; Well you know I’m sorry but If I live to see the seven wonders

A friendship so deep had formed between the two of you, something that could never be destroyed. Not a lot of people understood what he saw in you, and it definitely changed his reputation, but it was worth it for him. Though the two of you had a deep bond, there was still so many questions left unanswered.

You knew about his father, but not to the full extreme. You knew he got mad at Billy and would get into physical altercations but you didn’t know how deep the psychological damage had ran through Billy’s veins.

That is until, he lent you his varsity jacket.

It was coming to the end of December and as the days went by you noticed Billy become more unusual. He rarely spoke at school, had no interest in anything and hid himself in a grey oversized sweater, rather than the usual half buttoned up shirts.

You asked him if he was okay around ten times a day, and he always replied with a soft smile and a, “ Yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry bout’ it princess.”  But you knew something was up.

It was the night of Tina’s Christmas themed party and you had dragged Billy to it. Though she wasn’t fond of you, she had a flame for Billy so she kissed his ass. Billy got bored an hour in though and begged you to leave. You were compliant and left the house to go to his car, shivering at winter nipping your clothed yet cold arms.

“ You gotta start wearing a proper jacket doll.” He chuckled slightly at your stupidity, as he took his varsity jacket off of him to give to you. He handed it out to you, but you shook your head.

“ Billy I’ll be home in like 15 minutes, I’m good.” You tried to convince him, but you knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“ Just take the fucking jacket Y/N.” He looked at you with annoyance, yet compassion. He really didn’t want to see you cold, but he also for an instance thought how fucking cute it would be to see you wearing his beloved basketball jacket.

You took the jacket, rolling your eyes while doing so and put it on. Billy dropped you off at your house around 25 minutes later, slower than usual due to it being an awfully slippery winter.

You hadn’t even thought to give Billy his jacket back before he drove off into the night. You only noticed that the jacket was still on you when you put a hand into the pocket, feeling paper. You didn't realize what it was until you opened up the folded piece of paper to discover his messy handwriting. You cautiously read it, not knowing what to think or how to feel.

" Dear Mom,

I’m not sure how to write this or why I’m even writing it. I just need to talk to someone, something and get all of this off my chest. 

I’m so confused about my life. I want to make something of it, but I feel like it’s too late. I never imagined myself to live to 18, let alone graduate. Everyone already has these big plans for colleges or jobs, but I just wanna go back to California. That’s really the only plan I have.

I’m just so angry. I’m angry that your gone. I’m angry that I live in this shithole town. I’m angry because everyone around me is happier than I’ll ever be. 

I know this is actually stupid, and writing this isn’t going to do anything. But I can’t say how I feel out loud. I mean, I have friends, but I don’t want to air out my dirty laundry on them, ya know? That’s just pathetic of me. 

I just wish you were here to tell me that everything isn’t as shitty as it seems.

I’m not sure what life will bring at this point, and I really hope I make it through the next year without blowing my fucking brains out. Which is also pretty pathetic if you ask me. Anyway, that’s all that I have right now, and yes Dad is still a dick.

love you and miss you.

Billy.”

How do you react to something like that? What were you to do?

The only thing that replayed in your head was the fact he didn’t expect to live to 18. Had he been planning on killing himself? Or was it a mere thought? You needed to know.

4; I'll make a path to the rainbow's end I'll never live to match the beauty again

You didn’t know whether to be angry at your friend, or sympathetic. You were awfully hurt that even with your support, he still thought Hawkins was some shit hole and that everything was shit. You felt like you had failed such an important task, to make him happy.

After reading the note you became distant again. Anytime he tried to talk to you, you would push him away. Though deep down you knew it would lead to the downfall of your relationship, you still did it anyway.

Sure, it was self destructive. But so was he.

Billy became desperate, he knew what you were doing but had no idea why. He wasn’t angry either, just confused. He wanted to know what he had done, and why he was losing his friend, his best friend. That word lingered in his mind, and yet, even though you were his best friend, it didn’t feel right. It felt weird to say it, let alone think it. But at the time, he let the thought slip away, letting a feeling of numbness wash over him.

Billy came up with a plan, but he needed someone’s help. Who could he trust? That question didn’t come with very many answers.

5; It's a certain time It's a certain place

Billy trusted one person, but would she ever do it? There was always a time and place for everything and Billy was going to find out if the universe would work in his favour with this one.

Billy knocked on the white bedroom door, keep out scrawled on a piece of paper taped to the door. There was no answer. Billy knocked again, “ Max! Open up!” He yelled. A groan and hard footsteps came from behind the door. Billy anxiously playing with the final button on his shirt before the door opened slightly, the eye of his step-sister poking through to look at him. “ What do you want?” It didn’t even sound like a question, as annoyance soaked into her voice.

“ I need your help.” He sighed, still looking down, fiddling with the red button. The door now opened fully, Max standing in the door way, arms crossed. 

“What’s in it for me?” Billy looked up at her with disgust,  but quickly rechecked his priorities before opening his mouth, something he only learned until he met you.

“ I’ll drive you to the arcade.” He groaned.

“ You already do that.” She was right. He needed to do something bigger.

“ I’ll drive you and that Sinclair kid wherever you want.” Billy grumbled out, Max nodding her head, “ Hmm not bad,” Billy had thought he hit the jackpot, keyword thought. 

“ But,” 

“ There’s a but?” He asked in frustration, she laughed coldly.

“ Yeah, there’s a but. Both of us know what I want.” She looked at him with an abundance of cockiness and power. Billy knew that she had been wanting to learn how to drive with him, but he was not letting her hurt is baby let alone touch it.

He scoffed. “ No fucking way Maxine! I’m not doing that, nope. Not happening kid.” He shook his head, his tongue darting across his bottom lip in annoyance.

“  Then I’m not helping you.” She sighed dramatically, batting her eyelashes a little bit.

Billy knew he had to do it, he knew it’s what he had to do to get you back.

“ Fine! Fine.” He huffed out, rolling his eyes. Max grinned. 

6;If I hope and I pray Ooh it might work out someday

Billy knew you well, maybe too well perhaps. He knew that you could never say no to a kid, let alone his little sister. You two had become closer through out the short yet deep connection you and Billy had formed. You were a lot like Max in most ways. You were independent, strong and skillful, and she liked that about you, she almost looked up to you.

Max picked up the phone and dialed your house, taking a deep breath in and out, preparing for her act.

“ Hello?” You spoke. Max looked at Billy for a moment, horror washing over her face in nervousness. She let it fade quickly though, she couldn’t mess this up.

“ Hi! Is this Y/N?!” She spoke quickly and desperately. 

“ Yeah-”

“ Its Max! Billy’s sister-”

“ uhhh-”

“ I uhm- I got my period and I don't know what to do??” She looked back at Billy, horror cemented on his face. “ For fuck sake.” He swore under his breath.

“ Oh- Well you just-” 

“ Can you just come over? I really don't know what I’m doing.” Max interrupted.

“ Sure?” You gave in, still confused.

Though you hoped you didn’t have to deal with Billy, a part of you really wanted to see him and ask him if he was okay.

“ Okay! Cool! Bye!” Max spoke quickly, hanging up the line, leaving you to find whatever feminine hygiene products she could use, before driving over to Billy’s.

You knocked on the Hargrove’s door, anxiety filling your chest and stomach as the door opened revealing Max, the feisty, fiery haired Step-Sister of Billy. You smiled down at her and she awkwardly did the same. 

“ Come inside.” She gestured, and you did so. 

The home looked cozy, but felt unsettling. You knew too much about what went on within the walls, skewing your image of the house. You were on edge as Max guided you to what you could only assume as her room. She opened the door for you and stepped out of the way for you to go first. Behind the door revealing none other than Billy Hargrove.

You sighed as you walked into the room fully, almost jumping at the sound of Max closing the door behind you, leaving you and Billy alone with one another. In this moment you could run, but you knew you had to face your best friend.

“Billy I-” You went to go explain but he interrupted.

“ Don’t.” He looked at you coldly, uncomfortably moving close to you.

“ Just don't say a fucking word, okay?” You nodded your head nervously, feeling his hot breath come down against your face. His face coming so close to yours that your foreheads were touching.

That’s when it happened, his lips were attached to yours, kissing you hungrily. You tangled your hands into his hair, briefly kissing back before pulling away completely, stepping back from him. He gave you a questioning look, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I-I’m sorry Billy. I can’t do this.” You shook your head, tears forming in your eyes. You desperately needed to get out of there, and that’s exactly what you did, you ran out of the house, the yelling of your name coming from Billy’s voice playing back in your head over and over.

7; I'll never live to match the beauty again

Billy had many girlfriends after that day, but none of them made him feel the way you made him feel. This finally made him realise he had been in love. He was in love and he fucked it up.

You watched him and other girls from afar, your heart ached every time you saw his lips against another’s, reminding you of his voice desperately yelling your name.

You had never wanted to go back in time so bad, you knew it was a mistake, and you couldn’t do anything to fix it. You questioned why you even left in the first place, but Graduation day brought the answer to you.

It was after the ceremony, you were taking pictures with your friends and family, that is until Billy awkwardly walked up, taping on your shoulder as you spoke with Steve. You turned, face to face with the curly haired boy.

“ Can we like- talk?” He asked, nervously looking at his feet, not wanting to look at you in the eyes.

You turn to Steve, then to Billy, “ Yeah sure. I’ll be back Steve.”

You and Billy awkwardly walked side by side to the bleachers, not saying a word until both of your asses sat on the steps of the bleachers closest to the ground. Your feet kicked into the dirt below you, nervously waiting for him to talk, to ask you what had happened that day. 

“ Why?” He asked with no emotion to his voice, “ All I want to know is why.” Though his voice was cold, you could tell his heart was broken, as was yours.

“ I guess, I was just, scared to let you in ya know.” You shrugged, eyes glued to the dirt. 

“ That can’t be the only reason.” He was right, it wasn’t; It all started with that stupid note you had found.

“I found a note in your letter bomb,” He looked at you, focusing on the details of your face, doused in more makeup than you were use to. 

“ I guess- I guess, I felt like chopped liver ya know?” You began to tear up, but you held back briefly, “ I’ve never had a best friend in my entire life, and when I read the letter and how you talked of killing yourself and how Hawkins was some-some shit hole,” You started crying, angry at yourself and at the Boy you loved so dearly.

“I felt like a failure.” Billy, was now crying, like he had the night he snuck into your room through the window, he still looked at you though, which wasn't an often occurrence when he cried, you could tell that he was his most vulnerable at this moment. He was upset you had felt this way yet never told him. He knew what it was like to feel like a failure, to feel like the blood was on your hands, and he never wanted you to feel like that ever again.

He reached out at your hand, cautiously. You turned to look at him the minute you felt his rough hands touch yours. 

“ I’m 100% sure your anything but a failure princess.” He looked at you through his lashes, as he began his emotional speech.

“ You are like the coolest chick I know okay? Your the only reason I’m even sitting here in this stupid fucking, gay ass gown. But I absolutely love it for some reason. For some reason I can’t shake you off. That really says something Doll. Call me fucking crazy okay, but, but- I haven't felt this feeling before, until you.” You looked him dead in the eye, your mouth slightly parted in confusion on what he had been trying to describe.

“ I don't know what to call it, and I know you aren't mine or anything, and you probably have a thing for Harrington or something, or-” That's when you realised the answer to all your questions; Why you left the house, why you pushed him away and why your lips were pressed so softly to his in the very moment.

You were in love.

It was just a soft peck that lasted a mear five seconds.

You pulled away, smirking at him, “ Just don't say a fucking word okay?” Before pulling him back in by the collar of his gown, kissing him more passionately.

And Billy Hargrove would finally learn how to love, his mother watching down on him, making sure he did it right.

[holidaysat221b]

Part Two of the List of Sherlolly Prompts as of 5/10/2018

Here is a link to the very informal Sherlolly Prompt FAQ

Below is the list of prompts submitted to @holidaysat221b. Where possible, we have tagged the submitter so that credit can be given if a prompt inspires someone to write a fic or create a piece of art.

Some submissions were specifically labeled as Art prompts, and they have been separated into their own category. However, if you are a fic writer and one of the art prompts calls to you, go for it. Likewise, if one of the other prompts makes you want to draw, have fun with it! Prompts that have been filled at least once will be noted with a link to the fic/art, in case that influences your decision to work with one.

We only ask three things:

1) If you use one of the prompts on this list, please remember to credit the prompt and prompter somewhere in your fic summary/art description or in your notes.

2) Please submit an ask or message @holidaysat221b with a link to your work, the prompt you used, the prompter, and how you want to be identified (in cases where your Tumblr and fic/artist name are different). This will allow us to share your work with our followers and tag the prompter (if possible).

3) We have set up a Sherlolly Prompt Collection on Ao3. If you are planning to post your fic or art on Ao3 and would like to add it to the collection, please do. As of this moment, the collection is open and unmoderated. Please remember to credit the prompt and prompter in your fic/art notes.

On to the Prompts as of May 10, 2018

Everything Else

Sherlock is undercover.   He’s renting a small place and he’s trying to fit in with the extremely old fashioned community that is probably hiding a deadly smuggling ring or something equally bad.  He ends up calling on Molly to come help.   Since he’s already established as an unmarried man, his ‘sister’ (or other family member) arrives for a visit.  Cue living in the same house while hot for each other type shenanigans while pretending to be siblings under the watchful eye of some suspicious townspeople.  -   Anonymous

Molly’s school reunion – Sherlock assumes he’ll be needed to help Molly show everyone up.  The catch:  Molly’s been a beloved peer, so it’s him who gets the obligatory “you hurt her, we’ll end you”. :)  -  @mychakk

Sherlock sees a woman on the street.  Instantly intrigued (you can choose as to why) he follows her.  -  @mel-loves-all

Molly loves wearing Sherlock’s house robes.  -  @mel-loves-all  (Prompt fill - A Seminal Moment by @geekmama)

Molly has a piece of body piercing jewelry or a tattoo located somewhere that surprises and titillates Sherlock.  -  @mel-loves-all  (Prompt fill - Stainless, Captive Bead, 11mm, 14 Gauge. by sunken_standard)

Whenever Molly is close, Sherlock unconsciously always seems to need to touch her in some way after they start dating.  He doesn’t notice it, but Molly does.  -  @mel-loves-all

A midnight dance.  -  @mel-loves-all

John tries to set up Sherlock with a girl.  Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of contenders.  And what does Molly have to say about that?  -  The Silent Fangirl

Through unexpected circumstances, Sherlock and Molly get engaged.  It doesn’t end well.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Eurus Holmes ships the Sherlolly.  So does John and Mycroft.  Soon, everyone gets dragged into the Sherlolly craze.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly lives in the flat across from 221B.  You know, the one that exploded?   Yeah.  But before that, there was a) looking at the hot naked guy in the window b) said hot naked guy crashing into her flat because he just wants to c) her traitorous cat crossing the street to hot naked guy’s flat.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly stops being Sherlock’s pathologist, and starts being THE Pathologist.  BAMF!Molly  -  The Silent Fangirl

This, Sherlock thinks through the haze of cocaine, truly is the worst form of torture.  Mycroft and Molly’s wedding through Sherlock’s drug-addled POV.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly commits suicide, but only Sherlock thinks she didn’t.  He may not be wrong.  -  The Silent Fangirl

When John Watson dies, Rosie is given into the care of her godparents.   Problem is, they aren’t exactly on speaking terms.  Bonus for Harry Watson appearance!  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly nearly gets hit by a speeding car … until Sherlock pushes her out of the way and gets hit himself.  H/C  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly in labor.  After watching Mary in labor in TST, I kinda wanna see a funny take on Molly giving birth to her and Sherlock’s child.  Maybe something like Molly being in pain, she wishes out loud she’d never had sex with Sherlock, while Sherlock logically points out how well they emotionally and biologically fit together.  -  Anonymous

Fluff. Molly has been hospitalized for whatever reason.  She decides that she is feeling better and just wants to go home.  However, the hospital does not want to release her yet.  So Molly decides to leave AMA (against medical advice).  She feels she can recover at home just as well and also she is eager to get back to work.  Besides, who is going to know?   This is something someone might expect from Sherlock, but not Molly.   How long before he finds out?  What is his reaction?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

Angst.  Molly discovers she is pregnant and is not happy about it.  Although she would love to have a baby at some point, right now is not the time.  She and Sherlock do not have a commitment and her career is going well.  She plans to terminate the pregnancy.  Sherlock finds out and tries to stop her.  He please with her to change her mind, marry him and be a family.  Is this just a control tactic or does he really love her?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard (Prompt fill - Turn Right by sunken_standard)

Molly discovers there is Sherlock Holmes RPF (Real Person Fiction) on the internet.  She’s shocked to find that someone called Sherlolly4vr74 has been writing fic about her and Sherlock, and they seem to have a dedicated fan base.  Some of the stories are very sweet and romantic, some of them are hot enough to give her NSFW ideas.  Who is Sherlolly4vr74 (Is it Anderson?  Mrs Hudson?  Mary?  John?  I bet it’s John.) and is Sherlock aware of the stories?  -  @darnedchild  (Prompt fill - This Love…is sweeter than fiction by escailyy)

Eurus has been known to put on a persona and disguise to get close to people for information – she was Faith for Sherlock, E and the psychiatrist for John.  What if she had also spent some time around Molly prior to the events at Sherrinford?  What information would she have gleaned about her brother and his pathologist?  -  @darnedchild

Can they be R rated. Because I feel Sherlock would not muck about, with telling Molly what he would like to do to her, he would not use cute little names for all her female parts and would go into great detail, like all his cases. She would be his very serious case. Yes he would most defiantly do a lot of research on pleasing her. Write it however you are most comfortable with.  -  @oliverfel4

Sherlock and Molly are getting married!  It’s time to work on the guest list for the wedding, and suddenly they are faced with the question—Do they let Euros come, or not?  -  @celticmoonbeam  (Prompt fill - Untitled Tumblr post by @theresadunn)

Shipwrecked Sherlolly—Sherlock saves Molly from drowning.  -  Anonymous  (Prompt fill - Untitled Tumblr post (TBC?) by @mizjoely)

Euros leads Sherlock to believe that he failed, and Molly was killed after the ILY scene.  Much angst ensues as he blames himself for her loss … but then we get to see the happy reunion scene when he learns she’s alive.  -  Anonymous

Moriarty trying to up Sherlock by sleeping with Molly, but the joke is on him, as Sherlock and Molly knew each other from secondary school/uni and were each other’s firsts.  They can be regular (exclusive) lovers too.  -  @mychakk

Mary as matchmaker.  At John and Mary’s wedding, Mary feels a little sad when they leave him alone to go dance (“What about you?”).  She decides to make it her mission to help Sherlock find a girl so he’s not alone anymore.  And this former agent has no trouble figuring out the potential between Sherlock and a certain Molly Hooper … (Up to you whether or not you want to throw in a Janine segue before she decides to set him up with Molly.  And feel free to cover Sherlock being shot!) -  @celticmoonbeam

Molly discovers she’s pregnant with Sherlock’s child at the worst possible time:  while she’s with his parents, being hidden away, and the two are pretending to be just friends.  Bonus if they figure it out before they’re told!  -   @penaltywaltz

After the events of TFP, Molly and Sherlock get closer.  Suddenly, though, he pulls away and starts flirting with a coworker of hers, sometimes blatantly in front of her.   It isn’t until an event at Barts that the truth comes out that it was all for a case.  -  @penaltywaltz

Molly finds out that as a child Sherlock liked the book “The Westing Game” and for one of his birthdays she arranges a vacation mimicking the plot of the book, even if none of them really fit the particular characters.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock wants to make a gourmet meal for Molly for a special occasion, but he doesn’t seem to get it quite right.  Fortunately, a friend/relative is willing to help.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock moves in with Molly and begins perusing her book collection, picking up random books that have interesting looking covers, and the next thing Molly knows he’s turned into a fantasy buff.  -  @penaltywaltz  (Prompt fill - Stories & Stories by SimplyShelbs16)

Non-established Sherlolly.  Sherlock gets a hold of Molly’s phone one afternoon and can’t resist snooping.  He’s surprised to see a folder in her photo gallery marked “Special” and it’s all photos of him.  -  @penaltywaltz

Have you had sex? – After Euros asked that I somehow thought “Molly??” (as Sherlock says, Irene only texts him, he doesn’t reply).  Later it seems that Euros is the only one who ever has noticed that Molly causes some emotions in him.  So my theory is that something happened between Molly and Sherlock, it happened pretty recently, somehow (stressful night and they talked or they had some drinks and somehow one thing led to another) they ended up having sex; but Sherlock wasn’t good at dealing with it after or something urgent came along and he didn’t really consider Molly’s emotions, he ran off right after or in the morning, and that could be the reason why Molly didn’t pick up the phone first and was in a bad mood during the “ILY scene”.  What happened between them recently is the reason why Molly is a bit rude to Sherlock when he calls, and the reason why she gets so emotional and raw so easily over the I Love You thing, and why she so easily tells him to say it first.  Well, then when Sherlock says “I love you” he finally realizes fully that he really does love her too, and that he is capable of loving that way, and finally sees how easy it could be and what he could lose.  Then after this whole thing he goes to talk to Molly and explain things to her.  - @lullikiish

Complete me as a person. — Scene that popped into my mind.  Irene has been texting Sherlock again, Sherlock in the end almost agrees to meet her for dinner, but as he’s walking out of his flat while Molly is there looking after Rosie he sees Molly in kind of slo-mo in the golden evening sun holding Rosie and being all sweet.  Maybe already something a bit has happened before between them, some flirting, etc.  The talk with John about a relationship completing him as a person is on the back of his mind.  He walks out, but midway down the stairs while taking his phone out (symbolically in darkness compared to that evening sun) he realizes that he misses that warmth and Molly, and realizes that is what completes him.  He takes out his phone and texts he’s not coming and then goes back upstairs.  Sees Molly all adorable and confused/surprised in this beautiful light and maybe goes to kiss her, etc.  -  @lullikiish

Crack!fic. Molly and Sherlock had a fake wedding for a case. However, when Molly applies for a marriage license to Tom, it turns out the wedding was actually real. She has to approach Sherlock for an annulment. It seems Sherlock deleted the event, because he doesn’t seem to remember it. Or does he? It seems he is too busy to sign the paperwork, he has misplaced it, always an excuse not to dissolve the marriage. Eventually he has to admit he really does want to be married to her. So Molly has to decide between two men. Which one does she choose? 😉  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Molly, unbeknownst to Sherlock, suffers from psoriasis since her teen years. This is why she’s been adamant about being more physically intimate with him, no matter how much she wants to. Fortunately for her, Sherlock doesn’t care about it at all. Could be a hard T or M rating. Loosely inspired by Loo’s own bout with the disease.  -  @violetjersey  (Prompt fill - #Balm by @hobbitsdoitbetter)

Fluff and maybe smut, or angst with a happy ending: Molly has a creepy feeling that she is being followed, and goes to Lestrade for help. He discovers that she has a security detail, curtesy of Sherlock. Molly is not pleased with this situation. Sherlock doesn’t understand why not, shouldn’t she be glad that he cares about her safety? After getting an earful from Molly, he cancels the security detail. Molly promptly leaves town without a word to anyone, leaving Sherlock to sweat. Is she okay? Most likely she is on a beach sipping Margaritas, but maybe she’s in trouble. He would like to make amends but first he as to find her. Should he try to locate her or leave her alone as requested?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I have read this in one or two fics, but not really developed as a main theme of the story … so: What if Rosie wants to pair John and Molly? How Sherlock will react and … how will he convince Rosie that Molly is for him and not for John. I’m imagining some angst in the middle because the silly man thinks this is a wonderful idea: Rosie gets a mummy and Molly gets a family. In fact, Sherlock sets up a date between Molly and John while he’s babysitting Rosie.  -  @kalkopyryt

Crack!Fic. Molly decides to try speed dating. The day she goes Sherlock is there, deducing everyone else to shreds. He tells Molly he is there purely by coincidence. He’s not trying to thwart her attempts at dating at all. Really!  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I’m thinking about Sherlock early in their relationship finds someone clothes that are familiar but can’t remember where, but then he watches some old Moriarty video and realizes where the clothes come from. The end is up to the author. Thank you! -  @deemura

Fluff.  Molly marries Sherlock, believing it is a fake wedding.  Molly is livid when she discovers it was real.   Sherlock has a lame excuse.  Molly really loves Sherlock and wants to be with him, however she is not a pushover.  She demands that they have another ceremony, so that this time she will mean her vows when she says them.  Alternately, Molly wants the marriage annulled.  Sherlock is a little hurt, but doesn’t want to lose her friendship, so he agrees to dissolve the marriage.  When Molly receives confirmation that the annulment is final, that is when Sherlock surprises her by asking her out on a date.  Can she forgive his deception and begin a real romantic relationship with him?   -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff.   Molly is getting ready to get married to Sherlock believing the wedding to be fake, when she discovers that it is actually going to be a real ceremony.  Will she refuse to walk down the aisle at the last minute, or does she go ahead anyway?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Some strange guy is bothering Molly, so she tells him that Sherlock is her fiance in order to make him stop. To her surprise, Sherlock goes along with it. Maybe he goes even further by announcing it to family and friends. Now what does Molly do?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

I love the unplanned pregnancy troupe.  Any point in their history (you choose) Molly becomes pregnant but thinking Sherlock won’t want to be involved she keeps it from him.  -  @chiefdoctor

Molly undergoes “kidnap and rescue” training similar to Meghan Markle. It comes in handy when she does actually escape a kidnapper. Now she is lost in the wilderness, trying to stay alive using the survival skills she learned. Sherlock is determined to find her.  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff and maybe Smut. Molly has a hot tub. Sherlock shows up unexpectedly to use it. Of course he is not embarrassed to jump into the hot tub naked. What he doesn’t expect is that Molly is naked, too.  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

[holidaysat221b]

Part Two of the List of Sherlolly Prompts as of 4/19/2018

Here is a link to the very informal Sherlolly Prompt FAQ

Below is the list of prompts submitted to @holidaysat221b. Where possible, we have tagged the submitter so that credit can be given if a prompt inspires someone to write a fic or create a piece of art.

Some submissions were specifically labeled as Art prompts, and they have been separated into their own category. However, if you are a fic writer and one of the art prompts calls to you, go for it. Likewise, if one of the other prompts makes you want to draw, have fun with it! Prompts that have been filled at least once will be noted with a link to the fic/art, in case that influences your decision to work with one.

We only ask three things:

1) If you use one of the prompts on this list, please remember to credit the prompt and prompter somewhere in your fic summary/art description or in your notes.

2) Please submit an ask or message @holidaysat221b with a link to your work, the prompt you used, the prompter, and how you want to be identified (in cases where your Tumblr and fic/artist name are different). This will allow us to share your work with our followers and tag the prompter (if possible).

3) We have set up a Sherlolly Prompt Collection on Ao3. If you are planning to post your fic or art on Ao3 and would like to add it to the collection, please do. As of this moment, the collection is open and unmoderated. Please remember to credit the prompt and prompter in your fic/art notes.

On to the Prompts as of April 19, 2018

Everything Else

Sherlock is undercover.   He’s renting a small place and he’s trying to fit in with the extremely old fashioned community that is probably hiding a deadly smuggling ring or something equally bad.  He ends up calling on Molly to come help.   Since he’s already established as an unmarried man, his ‘sister’ (or other family member) arrives for a visit.  Cue living in the same house while hot for each other type shenanigans while pretending to be siblings under the watchful eye of some suspicious townspeople.  -   Anonymous

Molly’s school reunion – Sherlock assumes he’ll be needed to help Molly show everyone up.  The catch:  Molly’s been a beloved peer, so it’s him who gets the obligatory “you hurt her, we’ll end you”. :)  -  @mychakk

Sherlock sees a woman on the street.  Instantly intrigued (you can choose as to why) he follows her.  -  @mel-loves-all

Molly loves wearing Sherlock’s house robes.  -  @mel-loves-all  (Prompt fill - A Seminal Moment by @geekmama)

Molly has a piece of body piercing jewelry or a tattoo located somewhere that surprises and titillates Sherlock.  -  @mel-loves-all  (Prompt fill - Stainless, Captive Bead, 11mm, 14 Gauge. by sunken_standard)

Whenever Molly is close, Sherlock unconsciously always seems to need to touch her in some way after they start dating.  He doesn’t notice it, but Molly does.  -  @mel-loves-all

A midnight dance.  -  @mel-loves-all

John tries to set up Sherlock with a girl.  Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of contenders.  And what does Molly have to say about that?  -  The Silent Fangirl

Through unexpected circumstances, Sherlock and Molly get engaged.  It doesn’t end well.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Eurus Holmes ships the Sherlolly.  So does John and Mycroft.  Soon, everyone gets dragged into the Sherlolly craze.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly lives in the flat across from 221B.  You know, the one that exploded?   Yeah.  But before that, there was a) looking at the hot naked guy in the window b) said hot naked guy crashing into her flat because he just wants to c) her traitorous cat crossing the street to hot naked guy’s flat.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly stops being Sherlock’s pathologist, and starts being THE Pathologist.  BAMF!Molly  -  The Silent Fangirl

This, Sherlock thinks through the haze of cocaine, truly is the worst form of torture.  Mycroft and Molly’s wedding through Sherlock’s drug-addled POV.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly commits suicide, but only Sherlock thinks she didn’t.  He may not be wrong.  -  The Silent Fangirl

When John Watson dies, Rosie is given into the care of her godparents.   Problem is, they aren’t exactly on speaking terms.  Bonus for Harry Watson appearance!  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly nearly gets hit by a speeding car … until Sherlock pushes her out of the way and gets hit himself.  H/C  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly in labor.  After watching Mary in labor in TST, I kinda wanna see a funny take on Molly giving birth to her and Sherlock’s child.  Maybe something like Molly being in pain, she wishes out loud she’d never had sex with Sherlock, while Sherlock logically points out how well they emotionally and biologically fit together.  -  Anonymous

Fluff. Molly has been hospitalized for whatever reason.  She decides that she is feeling better and just wants to go home.  However, the hospital does not want to release her yet.  So Molly decides to leave AMA (against medical advice).  She feels she can recover at home just as well and also she is eager to get back to work.  Besides, who is going to know?   This is something someone might expect from Sherlock, but not Molly.   How long before he finds out?  What is his reaction?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

Angst.  Molly discovers she is pregnant and is not happy about it.  Although she would love to have a baby at some point, right now is not the time.  She and Sherlock do not have a commitment and her career is going well.  She plans to terminate the pregnancy.  Sherlock finds out and tries to stop her.  He please with her to change her mind, marry him and be a family.  Is this just a control tactic or does he really love her?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard (Prompt fill - Turn Right by sunken_standard)

Molly discovers there is Sherlock Holmes RPF (Real Person Fiction) on the internet.  She’s shocked to find that someone called Sherlolly4vr74 has been writing fic about her and Sherlock, and they seem to have a dedicated fan base.  Some of the stories are very sweet and romantic, some of them are hot enough to give her NSFW ideas.  Who is Sherlolly4vr74 (Is it Anderson?  Mrs Hudson?  Mary?  John?  I bet it’s John.) and is Sherlock aware of the stories?  -  @darnedchild  (Prompt fill - This Love…is sweeter than fiction by escailyy)

Eurus has been known to put on a persona and disguise to get close to people for information – she was Faith for Sherlock, E and the psychiatrist for John.  What if she had also spent some time around Molly prior to the events at Sherrinford?  What information would she have gleaned about her brother and his pathologist?  -  @darnedchild

Can they be R rated. Because I feel Sherlock would not muck about, with telling Molly what he would like to do to her, he would not use cute little names for all her female parts and would go into great detail, like all his cases. She would be his very serious case. Yes he would most defiantly do a lot of research on pleasing her. Write it however you are most comfortable with.  -  @oliverfel4

Sherlock and Molly are getting married!  It’s time to work on the guest list for the wedding, and suddenly they are faced with the question—Do they let Euros come, or not?  -  @celticmoonbeam  (Prompt fill - Untitled Tumblr post by @theresadunn)

Shipwrecked Sherlolly—Sherlock saves Molly from drowning.  -  Anonymous  (Prompt fill - Untitled Tumblr post (TBC?) by @mizjoely)

Euros leads Sherlock to believe that he failed, and Molly was killed after the ILY scene.  Much angst ensues as he blames himself for her loss … but then we get to see the happy reunion scene when he learns she’s alive.  -  Anonymous

Moriarty trying to up Sherlock by sleeping with Molly, but the joke is on him, as Sherlock and Molly knew each other from secondary school/uni and were each other’s firsts.  They can be regular (exclusive) lovers too.  -  @mychakk

Mary as matchmaker.  At John and Mary’s wedding, Mary feels a little sad when they leave him alone to go dance (“What about you?”).  She decides to make it her mission to help Sherlock find a girl so he’s not alone anymore.  And this former agent has no trouble figuring out the potential between Sherlock and a certain Molly Hooper … (Up to you whether or not you want to throw in a Janine segue before she decides to set him up with Molly.  And feel free to cover Sherlock being shot!) -  @celticmoonbeam

Molly discovers she’s pregnant with Sherlock’s child at the worst possible time:  while she’s with his parents, being hidden away, and the two are pretending to be just friends.  Bonus if they figure it out before they’re told!  -   @penaltywaltz

After the events of TFP, Molly and Sherlock get closer.  Suddenly, though, he pulls away and starts flirting with a coworker of hers, sometimes blatantly in front of her.   It isn’t until an event at Barts that the truth comes out that it was all for a case.  -  @penaltywaltz

Molly finds out that as a child Sherlock liked the book “The Westing Game” and for one of his birthdays she arranges a vacation mimicking the plot of the book, even if none of them really fit the particular characters.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock wants to make a gourmet meal for Molly for a special occasion, but he doesn’t seem to get it quite right.  Fortunately, a friend/relative is willing to help.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock moves in with Molly and begins perusing her book collection, picking up random books that have interesting looking covers, and the next thing Molly knows he’s turned into a fantasy buff.  -  @penaltywaltz  (Prompt fill - Stories & Stories by SimplyShelbs16)

Non-established Sherlolly.  Sherlock gets a hold of Molly’s phone one afternoon and can’t resist snooping.  He’s surprised to see a folder in her photo gallery marked “Special” and it’s all photos of him.  -  @penaltywaltz

Have you had sex? – After Euros asked that I somehow thought “Molly??” (as Sherlock says, Irene only texts him, he doesn’t reply).  Later it seems that Euros is the only one who ever has noticed that Molly causes some emotions in him.  So my theory is that something happened between Molly and Sherlock, it happened pretty recently, somehow (stressful night and they talked or they had some drinks and somehow one thing led to another) they ended up having sex; but Sherlock wasn’t good at dealing with it after or something urgent came along and he didn’t really consider Molly’s emotions, he ran off right after or in the morning, and that could be the reason why Molly didn’t pick up the phone first and was in a bad mood during the “ILY scene”.  What happened between them recently is the reason why Molly is a bit rude to Sherlock when he calls, and the reason why she gets so emotional and raw so easily over the I Love You thing, and why she so easily tells him to say it first.  Well, then when Sherlock says “I love you” he finally realizes fully that he really does love her too, and that he is capable of loving that way, and finally sees how easy it could be and what he could lose.  Then after this whole thing he goes to talk to Molly and explain things to her.  - @lullikiish

Complete me as a person. — Scene that popped into my mind.  Irene has been texting Sherlock again, Sherlock in the end almost agrees to meet her for dinner, but as he’s walking out of his flat while Molly is there looking after Rosie he sees Molly in kind of slo-mo in the golden evening sun holding Rosie and being all sweet.  Maybe already something a bit has happened before between them, some flirting, etc.  The talk with John about a relationship completing him as a person is on the back of his mind.  He walks out, but midway down the stairs while taking his phone out (symbolically in darkness compared to that evening sun) he realizes that he misses that warmth and Molly, and realizes that is what completes him.  He takes out his phone and texts he’s not coming and then goes back upstairs.  Sees Molly all adorable and confused/surprised in this beautiful light and maybe goes to kiss her, etc.  -  @lullikiish

Crack!fic. Molly and Sherlock had a fake wedding for a case. However, when Molly applies for a marriage license to Tom, it turns out the wedding was actually real. She has to approach Sherlock for an annulment. It seems Sherlock deleted the event, because he doesn’t seem to remember it. Or does he? It seems he is too busy to sign the paperwork, he has misplaced it, always an excuse not to dissolve the marriage. Eventually he has to admit he really does want to be married to her. So Molly has to decide between two men. Which one does she choose? 😉  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Molly, unbeknownst to Sherlock, suffers from psoriasis since her teen years. This is why she’s been adamant about being more physically intimate with him, no matter how much she wants to. Fortunately for her, Sherlock doesn’t care about it at all. Could be a hard T or M rating. Loosely inspired by Loo’s own bout with the disease.  -  @violetjersey  (Prompt fill - #Balm by @hobbitsdoitbetter)

Fluff and maybe smut, or angst with a happy ending: Molly has a creepy feeling that she is being followed, and goes to Lestrade for help. He discovers that she has a security detail, curtesy of Sherlock. Molly is not pleased with this situation. Sherlock doesn’t understand why not, shouldn’t she be glad that he cares about her safety? After getting an earful from Molly, he cancels the security detail. Molly promptly leaves town without a word to anyone, leaving Sherlock to sweat. Is she okay? Most likely she is on a beach sipping Margaritas, but maybe she’s in trouble. He would like to make amends but first he as to find her. Should he try to locate her or leave her alone as requested?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I have read this in one or two fics, but not really developed as a main theme of the story … so: What if Rosie wants to pair John and Molly? How Sherlock will react and … how will he convince Rosie that Molly is for him and not for John. I’m imagining some angst in the middle because the silly man thinks this is a wonderful idea: Rosie gets a mummy and Molly gets a family. In fact, Sherlock sets up a date between Molly and John while he’s babysitting Rosie.  -  @kalkopyryt

Crack!Fic. Molly decides to try speed dating. The day she goes Sherlock is there, deducing everyone else to shreds. He tells Molly he is there purely by coincidence. He’s not trying to thwart her attempts at dating at all. Really!  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I’m thinking about Sherlock early in their relationship finds someone clothes that are familiar but can’t remember where, but then he watches some old Moriarty video and realizes where the clothes come from. The end is up to the author. Thank you! -  @deemura

Fluff.  Molly marries Sherlock, believing it is a fake wedding.  Molly is livid when she discovers it was real.   Sherlock has a lame excuse.  Molly really loves Sherlock and wants to be with him, however she is not a pushover.  She demands that they have another ceremony, so that this time she will mean her vows when she says them.  Alternately, Molly wants the marriage annulled.  Sherlock is a little hurt, but doesn’t want to lose her friendship, so he agrees to dissolve the marriage.  When Molly receives confirmation that the annulment is final, that is when Sherlock surprises her by asking her out on a date.  Can she forgive his deception and begin a real romantic relationship with him?   -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff.   Molly is getting ready to get married to Sherlock believing the wedding to be fake, when she discovers that it is actually going to be a real ceremony.  Will she refuse to walk down the aisle at the last minute, or does she go ahead anyway?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Some strange guy is bothering Molly, so she tells him that Sherlock is her fiance in order to make him stop. To her surprise, Sherlock goes along with it. Maybe he goes even further by announcing it to family and friends. Now what does Molly do?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

I love the unplanned pregnancy troupe.  Any point in their history (you choose) Molly becomes pregnant but thinking Sherlock won’t want to be involved she keeps it from him.  -  @chiefdoctor

Molly undergoes “kidnap and rescue” training similar to Meghan Markle. It comes in handy when she does actually escape a kidnapper. Now she is lost in the wilderness, trying to stay alive using the survival skills she learned. Sherlock is determined to find her.  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff and maybe Smut. Molly has a hot tub. Sherlock shows up unexpectedly to use it. Of course he is not embarrassed to jump into the hot tub naked. What he doesn’t expect is that Molly is naked, too.  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

[holidaysat221b]

Part Two of the List of Sherlolly Prompts as of 3/8/2017

As of 12/5/2017 the Prompt List has been split into two parts due to size.

Here is a link to the very informal Sherlolly Prompt Fest FAQ

Below is the list of prompts submitted to @holidaysat221b.  Where possible, we have tagged the submitter so that credit can be given if a prompt inspires someone to write a fic or create a piece of art.

Some submissions were specifically labeled as Art prompts, and they have been separated into their own category.  However, if you are a fic writer and one of the art prompts calls to you, go for it.  Likewise, if one of the other prompts makes you want to draw, have fun with it!  Prompts that have been filled at least once will be followed with an *, in case that influences your decision to work with one.

We only ask three things:

1) If you use one of the prompts on this list, please remember to credit the prompt and prompter somewhere in your fic summary/art description or in your notes.  It’s the polite thing to do.

2)  Please submit an ask or message @holidaysat221b with a link to your work, the prompt you used, the prompter, and how you want to be identified (in cases where your Tumblr and fic/artist name are different).  This will allow us to share your work with our followers and tag the prompter (if possible).

3)  We have set up a Sherlolly Prompt Fest Collection on Ao3.  If you are planning to post your fic or art on Ao3 and would like to add it to the collection, please do.  As of this moment, the collection is open and unmoderated.  Please remember to credit the prompt and prompter in your fic/art notes.

On to the Prompts as of March 8, 2017

Everything Else

Sherlock is undercover.  He’s renting a small place and he’s trying to fit in with the extremely old fashioned community that is probably hiding a deadly smuggling ring or something equally bad.  He ends up calling on Molly to come help.  Since he’s already established as an unmarried man, his ‘sister’ (or other family member) arrives for a visit.  Cue living in the same house while hot for each other type shenanigans while pretending to be siblings under the watchful eye of some suspicious townspeople.  -  Anonymous

Molly’s school reunion – Sherlock assumes he’ll be needed to help Molly show everyone up.  The catch:  Molly’s been a beloved peer, so it’s him who gets the obligatory “you hurt her, we’ll end you". :)  -  @mychakk

Sherlock sees a woman on the street.  Instantly intrigued (you can choose as to why) he follows her.  -  @mel-loves-all

Molly loves wearing Sherlock’s house robes.  -  @mel-loves-all

Molly has a piece of body piercing jewelry or a tattoo located somewhere that surprises and titillates Sherlock.  -  @mel-loves-all  *

Whenever Molly is close, Sherlock unconsciously always seems to need to touch her in some way after they start dating.  He doesn’t notice it, but Molly does.  -  @mel-loves-all

A midnight dance.  -  @mel-loves-all

John tries to set up Sherlock with a girl.  Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of contenders.  And what does Molly have to say about that?  -  The Silent Fangirl

Through unexpected circumstances, Sherlock and Molly get engaged.  It doesn’t end well.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Eurus Holmes ships the Sherlolly.  So does John and Mycroft.  Soon, everyone gets dragged into the Sherlolly craze.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly lives in the flat across from 221B.  You know, the one that exploded?   Yeah.  But before that, there was a) looking at the hot naked guy in the window b) said hot naked guy crashing into her flat because he just wants to c) her traitorous cat crossing the street to hot naked guy’s flat.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly stops being Sherlock’s pathologist, and starts being THE Pathologist.  BAMF!Molly  -  The Silent Fangirl

This, Sherlock thinks through the haze of cocaine, truly is the worst form of torture.  Mycroft and Molly’s wedding through Sherlock’s drug-addled POV.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly commits suicide, but only Sherlock thinks she didn’t.  He may not be wrong.  -  The Silent Fangirl

When John Watson dies, Rosie is given into the care of her godparents.   Problem is, they aren’t exactly on speaking terms.  Bonus for Harry Watson appearance!  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly nearly gets hit by a speeding car … until Sherlock pushes her out of the way and gets hit himself.  H/C  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly in labor.  After watching Mary in labor in TST, I kinda wanna see a funny take on Molly giving birth to her and Sherlock’s child.  Maybe something like Molly being in pain, she wishes out loud she’d never had sex with Sherlock, while Sherlock logically points out how well they emotionally and biologically fit together.  -  Anonymous

Fluff. Molly has been hospitalized for whatever reason.  She decides that she is feeling better and just wants to go home.  However, the hospital does not want to release her yet.  So Molly decides to leave AMA (against medical advice).  She feels she can recover at home just as well and also she is eager to get back to work.  Besides, who is going to know?   This is something someone might expect from Sherlock, but not Molly.   How long before he finds out?  What is his reaction?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

Angst.  Molly discovers she is pregnant and is not happy about it.  Although she would love to have a baby at some point, right now is not the time.  She and Sherlock do not have a commitment and her career is going well.  She plans to terminate the pregnancy.  Sherlock finds out and tries to stop her.  He please with her to change her mind, marry him and be a family.  Is this just a control tactic or does he really love her?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard  *

Molly discovers there is Sherlock Holmes RPF (Real Person Fiction) on the internet.  She’s shocked to find that someone called Sherlolly4vr74 has been writing fic about her and Sherlock, and they seem to have a dedicated fan base.  Some of the stories are very sweet and romantic, some of them are hot enough to give her NSFW ideas.  Who is Sherlolly4vr74 (Is it Anderson?  Mrs Hudson?  Mary?  John?  I bet it’s John.) and is Sherlock aware of the stories?  -  @darnedchild *

Eurus has been known to put on a persona and disguise to get close to people for information – she was Faith for Sherlock, E and the psychiatrist for John.  What if she had also spent some time around Molly prior to the events at Sherrinford?  What information would she have gleaned about her brother and his pathologist?  -  @darnedchild

Can they be R rated. Because I feel Sherlock would not muck about, with telling Molly what he would like to do to her, he would not use cute little names for all her female parts and would go into great detail, like all his cases. She would be his very serious case. Yes he would most defiantly do a lot of research on pleasing her. Write it however you are most comfortable with.  -  @oliverfel4

Sherlock and Molly are getting married!  It’s time to work on the guest list for the wedding, and suddenly they are faced with the question—Do they let Euros come, or not?  -  @celticmoonbeam

Shipwrecked Sherlolly—Sherlock saves Molly from drowning.  -  Anonymous

Euros leads Sherlock to believe that he failed, and Molly was killed after the ILY scene.  Much angst ensues as he blames himself for her loss … but then we get to see the happy reunion scene when he learns she’s alive.  -  Anonymous

Moriarty trying to up Sherlock by sleeping with Molly, but the joke is on him, as Sherlock and Molly knew each other from secondary school/uni and were each other’s firsts.  They can be regular (exclusive) lovers too.  -  @mychakk

Mary as matchmaker.  At John and Mary’s wedding, Mary feels a little sad when they leave him alone to go dance (“What about you?”).  She decides to make it her mission to help Sherlock find a girl so he’s not alone anymore.  And this former agent has no trouble figuring out the potential between Sherlock and a certain Molly Hooper … (Up to you whether or not you want to throw in a Janine segue before she decides to set him up with Molly.  And feel free to cover Sherlock being shot!) -  @celticmoonbeam

Molly discovers she’s pregnant with Sherlock’s child at the worst possible time:  while she’s with his parents, being hidden away, and the two are pretending to be just friends.  Bonus if they figure it out before they’re told!  -   @penaltywaltz

After the events of TFP, Molly and Sherlock get closer.  Suddenly, though, he pulls away and starts flirting with a coworker of hers, sometimes blatantly in front of her.   It isn’t until an event at Barts that the truth comes out that it was all for a case.  -  @penaltywaltz

Molly finds out that as a child Sherlock liked the book “The Westing Game” and for one of his birthdays she arranges a vacation mimicking the plot of the book, even if none of them really fit the particular characters.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock wants to make a gourmet meal for Molly for a special occasion, but he doesn’t seem to get it quite right.  Fortunately, a friend/relative is willing to help.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock moves in with Molly and begins perusing her book collection, picking up random books that have interesting looking covers, and the next thing Molly knows he’s turned into a fantasy buff.  -  @penaltywaltz  *

Non-established Sherlolly.  Sherlock gets a hold of Molly’s phone one afternoon and can’t resist snooping.  He’s surprised to see a folder in her photo gallery marked “Special” and it’s all photos of him.  -  @penaltywaltz

Have you had sex? – After Euros asked that I somehow thought “Molly??” (as Sherlock says, Irene only texts him, he doesn’t reply).  Later it seems that Euros is the only one who ever has noticed that Molly causes some emotions in him.  So my theory is that something happened between Molly and Sherlock, it happened pretty recently, somehow (stressful night and they talked or they had some drinks and somehow one thing led to another) they ended up having sex; but Sherlock wasn’t good at dealing with it after or something urgent came along and he didn’t really consider Molly’s emotions, he ran off right after or in the morning, and that could be the reason why Molly didn’t pick up the phone first and was in a bad mood during the “ILY scene”.  What happened between them recently is the reason why Molly is a bit rude to Sherlock when he calls, and the reason why she gets so emotional and raw so easily over the I Love You thing, and why she so easily tells him to say it first.   Well, then when Sherlock says “I love you” he finally realizes fully that he really does love her too, and that he is capable of loving that way, and finally sees how easy it could be and what he could lose.  Then after this whole thing he goes to talk to Molly and explain things to her.  -  @lullikiish

Complete me as a person. — Scene that popped into my mind.  Irene has been texting Sherlock again, Sherlock in the end almost agrees to meet her for dinner, but as he’s walking out of his flat while Molly is there looking after Rosie he sees Molly in kind of slo-mo in the golden evening sun holding Rosie and being all sweet.  Maybe already something a bit has happened before between them, some flirting, etc.  The talk with John about a relationship completing him as a person is on the back of his mind.  He walks out, but midway down the stairs while taking his phone out (symbolically in darkness compared to that evening sun) he realizes that he misses that warmth and Molly, and realizes that is what completes him.  He takes out his phone and texts he’s not coming and then goes back upstairs.  Sees Molly all adorable and confused/surprised in this beautiful light and maybe goes to kiss her, etc.  -  @lullikiish

Crack!fic. Molly and Sherlock had a fake wedding for a case. However, when Molly applies for a marriage license to Tom, it turns out the wedding was actually real. She has to approach Sherlock for an annulment. It seems Sherlock deleted the event, because he doesn’t seem to remember it. Or does he? It seems he is too busy to sign the paperwork, he has misplaced it, always an excuse not to dissolve the marriage. Eventually he has to admit he really does want to be married to her. So Molly has to decide between two men. Which one does she choose? 😉  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Molly, unbeknownst to Sherlock, suffers from psoriasis since her teen years. This is why she’s been adamant about being more physically intimate with him, no matter how much she wants to. Fortunately for her, Sherlock doesn’t care about it at all. Could be a hard T or M rating. Loosely inspired by Loo’s own bout with the disease.  -  @violetjersey *

Fluff and maybe smut, or angst with a happy ending: Molly has a creepy feeling that she is being followed, and goes to Lestrade for help. He discovers that she has a security detail, curtesy of Sherlock. Molly is not pleased with this situation. Sherlock doesn’t understand why not, shouldn’t she be glad that he cares about her safety? After getting an earful from Molly, he cancels the security detail. Molly promptly leaves town without a word to anyone, leaving Sherlock to sweat. Is she okay? Most likely she is on a beach sipping Margaritas, but maybe she’s in trouble. He would like to make amends but first he as to find her. Should he try to locate her or leave her alone as requested?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I have read this in one or two fics, but not really developed as a main theme of the story … so: What if Rosie wants to pair John and Molly? How Sherlock will react and … how will he convince Rosie that Molly is for him and not for John. I’m imagining some angst in the middle because the silly man thinks this is a wonderful idea: Rosie gets a mummy and Molly gets a family. In fact, Sherlock sets up a date between Molly and John while he’s babysitting Rosie.  -  @kalkopyryt

Crack!Fic. Molly decides to try speed dating. The day she goes Sherlock is there, deducing everyone else to shreds. He tells Molly he is there purely by coincidence. He’s not trying to thwart her attempts at dating at all. Really!  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I’m thinking about Sherlock early in their relationship finds someone clothes that are familiar but can’t remember where, but then he watches some old Moriarty video and realizes where the clothes come from. The end is up to the author. Thank you! -  @deemura

Fluff.  Molly marries Sherlock, believing it is a fake wedding.  Molly is livid when she discovers it was real.  Sherlock has a lame excuse.  Molly really loves Sherlock and wants to be with him, however she is not a pushover.  She demands that they have another ceremony, so that this time she will mean her vows when she says them.  Alternately, Molly wants the marriage annulled.  Sherlock is a little hurt, but doesn't want to lose her friendship, so he agrees to dissolve the marriage.  When Molly receives confirmation that the annulment is final, that is when Sherlock surprises her by asking her out on a date. Can she forgive his deception and begin a real romantic relationship with him?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff. Molly is getting ready to get married to Sherlock believing the wedding to be fake, when she discovers that it is actually going to be a real ceremony. Will she refuse to walk down the aisle at the last minute, or does she go ahead anyway?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Some strange guy is bothering Molly, so she tells him that Sherlock is her fiance in order to make him stop. To her surprise, Sherlock goes along with it. Maybe he goes even further by announcing it to family and friends. Now what does Molly do? - @shadowyqueenbeard