#but yeah I like to cause psychological damage to my friends with my toe socks

[vaimetanyx]

I wanted rain so I decided to make god cry

Either you love or hate these things, I have had no other reaction

(Full process under the cut)

[Skull pauldron] [Belt] [Greaves] [Toga + sash] [Wig + Laurels] [Armbands] [Flaming feet] [Satyr Sack] [Stygius v1] [Stygius v2] [Nectar]

These things are terrible and were terrible to make but are actually quite comfy to wear!

I started off with some yellow toe socks, and some cheap insoles. The black ones were used as a draft, before I cut out a white pair and painted them yellow. Then I sewed the insoles into position, trying to stick to areas that would later be covered by the actual show sole so they wouldn't be noticed. There was no way to do with without wearing the socks, which turned out to be the case with several stops of this process.

Next was cutting and shaping the show soles! These were from $4 slip on flats, since I wanted a sturdy sole without being too thick. To get the rough size and shape of my feet on the sole I did paint my foot and just stick it on there, before realising I'd made a mistake and having to hop one legged through my house to wash my foot off in the laundry sink. But! It did give me a good base to work off, so I was able to cut out the right shape and then bevel the edges for a more natural look.

I should have bought white shoes. Or done more research about how paints react to whatever rubber mix these shoe soles are made of. Because painting these yellow was so incredibly painful because they kept getting slightly sticky even if the coats dried properly. It was also quite difficult to get them to stick to the material of the socks since hot glue doesn't like a lot of rubber/plastics if it's sticking to something else, and contact adhesive doesn't like most materials. So I had to use epoxy resin to try and connect these two together since it was the strongest thing I had, and boy was it painful trying to figure out the right amount so it wouldn't all squeeze out the sides and ruin the whole shoesock. Overall terrible experience, -1/10, but they ended up on the feet and painted yellow which was the goal.

Then I got to paint my legs orange along with the socks in order to get that on-fire look. it wasn't the most even gradient due to some of the angles I had to work at while wearing them, but thankfully not too noticeable.

And with that, they were done, and ready to horrify everyone I come across! The greaves have worn some of the orange paint off the socks after my first con, but thankfully that's not noticeable if I place the socks and greaves in the same position each time I wear the outfit.

Terrible

[badgerslick]

Jeeves Peeves - Nocturnal Emissions (Part 22)

The greatest TV golf teacher is retiring. I enjoy watching the game, but there's no such thing as mastering the game. It's just too damn hard. Vicoint 'Tink' Beauregard is a Golf Channel legend. His show has been on for twenty plus years. I personally don't watch it. Think it's boring as hell. I can guarantee this interview will be more entertaining. Jeeves:  What got you interested in the game? Tink:  My earliest childhood memory was my dad beating me with a 5 iron. He caught me         smoking in his car. Jeeves:  How old were you?   Tink:  Seven. Jeeves: Good god that's young. Tink:  Not really. Me and my friends started at five. Jeeves:  Why was the club at your house?   Tink:  My uncle Dink used to play. When he died dad ended up with his clubs. Jeeves:  So that club started your interest in the game?   Tink:  Yeah. I started hiding it from dad. Started hitting rocks          with it. Got pretty good. Jeeves:  What did your dad do, the club missing?     Tink:  Used another club. Jeeves:  Sounds like a terrible man. Tink:  I got even. Moved out when I was  twelve. Took the clubs. Lived with grandma Hink. Jeeves:  Got even?   Tink:  I was always good with little throwaway objects. Which as you know is the basis for my         show. Anyway, I set traps for him, every room. Badger trap in his bed. Kitchen knives on         a bungee cord for his feet. Bowling ball on a string, top of the stairs. Glue in his         toothpaste tube. Itching powder in his shoes, socks, pants pockets, wallet, shirts, hat.         He was glad I left. Jeeves:  What about your mother?   Tink:  Long gone. Married a golf pro in Florida. Took awhile but she got me over the pond. Her         husband Rink taught me how to play. When he got crippled I became club pro. Jeeves:  Crippled? Tink:  Had a favorite ball. Shot it into the weeds.  This is Florida, don't go in the weeds ever!            Alligator waitin' for him. Tore up his legs pretty bad. Escaped by putting his golf club in          it's mouth like a car jack. Got the golf ball out, was stuck between two teeth. Jeeves:  I don't know what......Okay......Did you like the golf pro job? Tink:  Loved it. Didn't have to play. Practice.  Now that I'm retiring I can say......I hate the game! Jeeves:  You......Explain. Tink:  No one can ever master it. You take any pro on a par 3. Have him hit 10 balls. They will         never land in the exact same place. Jeeves:  So you became a teacher to avoid playing?   Tink:  Exactly. The beauty of the job is telling everybody to adjust their swing. Turn their body,         move their feet, arms, hands a little. That's it. Psychologically, after the lesson they go out         and play better. After a few rounds they come back for more swing adjustments. Steady,         good money for the pros. Never stops. Jeeves:  Tell me how the show started. Tink:  Had a big tournament here.  Film crews everywhere.  Nicklaus is havin' problems on the         putting green. Can't sink a ball. I'm over at the lunch counter, laughing at him. He comes         over, all pissed. Says,'Okay genius, show me how t' putt'. Jeeves:  And?   Tink:  Throwaway objects!  Got a mop handle, a shot glass and a spoon. Had him put the spoon          in his mouth while he hit balls alongside the handle into the shot glass which was on its          side. He ended up winning the tournament. Golf Channel came knockin' and here I am. Jeeves:  I'm curious. How did the spoon in his mouth help him putt?   Tink:  It didn't. Just messin' with him. Still practices with a spoon in his mouth. Jeeves:  Do you play at all?   Tink:  No, the reality screens are for the show guests. My problem is practicing. Cant stand it.          Have you ever seen me swing on the show?   Jeeves:  No, but you make it interesting with all the household items you use for props. Tink:  Let me play you an example of a typical segment. Here's Yink Hing, a pro on the woman's          tour. She was here for her short irons. Remember, my methods may be harsh, but I get          results. Yink:  Why you put vice grip on nose? Tink:  Every time you make a bad shot, I tighten it. Shouldn't cause permanent damage to your         nose. I put cotton between the metal and your skin. Yink:  Owww... Tink:  Bad shot. Focus. Yink:  Owww... Tink:  Concentrate, damnit!   Yink:  Owww... Tink:  Don't make me get out my modified toaster. Tink:  Activating! Yink:  Yeeee......! Cannot continue. Tink:  There, much better. How do you turn this thing... Yink:  Yeee...Owww... Tink:  ...off. Tink:  If you want it bad enough, you'll be back. Yink:  Take vice grip off nose. Take toes out toaster. Not want!   Jeeves:  Not much of a positive result. Tink:  She won a few tournaments. Said she owed it to my tutoring. Another success story. Jeeves:  Did she come back? Tink:  Naw, most of 'em don't......don't have the 'drive'.                                         Emissionsally............Jeeves