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daddyconfessions · 5 years

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daddy’s journal: 3/8/16

daddy’s journal 3/6/16 daddy’s journal 3/3/16

Sunday Feb 28th

Went to church. I couldn’t ask God to forgive me for all my sins though. I couldn’t be fake with Him. I guess I could have asked but then I wasn’t sorry and I had every intention of repeating all the things I’m doing wrong again. So I asked him to be patient with me instead. Me. The lying, cheating, adulterous bastard.

He didn’t answer.

Monday Feb 29th Pops (my boss) walked into my office a little after 10am. He closed the door and dropped into one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. Pops looked tired and beat. Despite being one of 3 VP’s in the company, we have a pretty laid back banter. I ask him how everything’s going. “Its hard man,” he shook his head. “We’re spending a lot of money on legal fees. We’re being sued by a lot of people right now. A lot of our white employees are suing us for racial discrimination.” I burst out laughing and said, “What the fuck?”

“Yea,” he shook his head. “They say we fired all of them so we could keep our Hispanic and other minority work force to minimize our labor costs. Now some of the Hispanics are suing us for racial discrimination. Say we only fired them and none of our white employees. We’re not too worried about that. Like 60% of our workforce salaried or otherwise is a minority. Anyway, I just wanted you to know it was nothing personal with denying your request to change offices,” he told me.

Pops was referring to a request I put in to switch offices. I liked my corner office, but some of the bigger offices with bigger windows were now open due to all the layoffs. “I know we have a lot of vacant offices,” he continued. “But, truth is Napoleon wanted to dissolve your position. I had to fight for you.”

Napoleon is our CEO. Cool guy in his 60’s, short, and depending on you ask he’s worth 30 - 80 million. Occasionally he’ll bring in one of his babes. Mostly to show off the company and his corner office which has 3 walls of glass and sitting at roughly 1400 square feet – probably bigger than or almost as big as most apartments. The ladies are usually 2 or 3 feet taller than him. Cute bitches. They got the names that strippers steal like Isadora, Milena, Giovanna, Fiora, and Anika. He’s single so they probably fall into the “spoiled gf” relationship category but I know the game. His old, short ass is paying for kitty just like me only on a much GRANDER scale.

Pops was like, “I went to bat for you. Told him everything you do for us and I even threw in some shit I Googled. Not sure if you did all what I put in my report or not. I told him how you come to work everyday and you’re always here.” In the back of my mind I was like, “I am?” Truth be told, I’m always skipping out of work for some sugaring.

I sat there motionless. Not sure what to say. My sugar life passed before my very eyes. Playing out like a movie that suddenly stopped due to some malfunction. My heart skipped a beat seemingly. When the layoffs started I just knew I was gone. Brothers are always the first to go. Plus with my salary I just knew they were going to fire me. But 18 months later I’m still here. Even issued me more restricted stock on top of what I already have. Wasn’t long before I thought I was safe. Locked in. Guess I was wrong.

“Um thanks man,” I said, picking up my pride from the floor. “I really appreciate it.” He stood to leave. I stood with him and shook his hand. “Don’t worry about it,” Pops said. “Most of the Execs know and appreciate what you do. And we were going to spend more money hiring contractors to feel your position which counters why we hired you in the first place. Anyway, didn’t want you to think I was being pissy about the office change. Just wasn’t a good time to move you. You know?”

When he left I fell back into my chair. A mix of anger and relief filled me. Owning my own business with the wife I knew where Napoleon was coming from. Shit I’ve ruthlessly fired people before all in the name of saving $$$ and maintaining my bottom line. I won’t even get into all of the input I had in who got to stay and leave during all the company layoffs. Now my ticket was being punched. Now it didn’t feel so good with the shoe on the other foot.

I texted Bubbles and cancelled. For all I knew she would have cancelled anyway at the rate she was going. She had already cancelled Saturday.

Couldn’t do much work the rest of the day so I cut out early. I thought me and Napoleon had been cool. We talked all the time. Guess that wasn’t the case. That night I didn’t feel like answering anons or updating my journal. I had a few text messages but I ignored them. I felt like the floor had got pulled out from under me and then put back. I felt like shit.

Tuesday Feb 30th I felt better when I woke up. My mind was clear after a good night’s sleep. I snapped out of my hurt pride and came back to reality. The income from the business, savings, and also my side business of consulting would hold me over until I found another job if it came to that. But, I could only have one SB and that would only be temporary if my unemployment was a lasting one. Nah. Fuck that. I got bitches to take care. Rent, car notes, bags and shoes to buy, plane tickets to buy, passports and visas to be paid for so chicks can come see me or me them…nah. The thought of having to slow down on my lifestyle suddenly gave me strength. I wasn’t shell shocked anymore. My resolve had been strengthened. Whether I was paranoid or not, it was time to start looking for another job – just in case. Better safe than sorry. Still, I decided to consult the Oracle. About mid-morning I closed my office door and called her.

“Nigga you should have been gone,” she told me after she’d heard everything. “I told you months ago your ticket was coming up. I don’t know why you thought you were safe.” I asked if she could help with my resume and she said she would. “I think you’re being paranoid. They’re not going to get rid of you. Not yet anyway. Just relax. You’re over reacting.”

That was the good stuff. But then the Oracle had more jokes than help: “Man look. You losing your job is bad for the economy. Chicks gonna be losing apartments, car’s repo’d. Nail salons about to close down. I’m gonna help you out just so I can prop up the local economy and shit. Firecracker gotta find a job. Bubbles gonna have to ask her baby daddy for more child support. All the other chicks you fuck with off and on gonna get their cel phone’s turned off. Nah man. This shit ain’t good for the economy. I’m telling you.” She went on cracking jokes. I had to hang up with her. She was on a roll.

All day the other managers were quiet like they knew something. I knew it was just paranoia but I couldn’t escape it. I started cleaning out my cabinets and drawers. I cancelled my meet with FC too. I figure she was going to cancel anyway since her period was on the verge of starting, so might as well start the day out right. Not sure whats wrong with her at this point. All that crying she’d done on Friday had me wondering. With the job situation suddenly seeming shaky…maybe its time to drop FC anyway. She’s leaving in the summer anyway. Put all my energy into Bubbles.

I tabled the decision for now. I spent the afternoon tweaking my resume and started looking at job ads. They didn’t look good. Pay scale’s looking real low. Finding a job in my pay range will most likely require a recruiter to land a job. But I couldn’t sit around and wait on a recruiter to work their magic. They may or may not even call. By the end of the day I’d managed to send over a dozen resumes. No tumblr, no texting, no SA. Just focus on business.

But the sugar gods are always busy. They never leave you be. By day’s end I got a text from an old sugarbabe. I call her Fluffy. I had run across her about the same time I’d started talking to Firecracker and Casino. I don’t mind 19 year olds, but I prefer them to be a little mature. Fluffy acted like she was still 15. We only hung out for a couple of weeks before I moved on. Too childish & our conversations were quite painful. Strained even. I had to keep coming up with shit to talk about.

Sexually she was completely different. Fluffy was quite mature in that area. : ) Not sure if she liked me or what, but I could pretty much do whatever I wanted to do to her. She wasn’t like that at first. But after she gave the kitty up for the first time, she changed on me. Fluffy went from sweet little girl to...I don’t have a term for it really. Any position, anal, swallowing, no condom, cum inside her, sex in the car, head in the car, threesome with another girl….whatever. If I could think it up I could do it.

She was even ok with me coming to her dorm room. I didn’t like it though. Awkward at best. Young dudes coming at me like “Yo pops, you here to see your daughter?” But lowkey its more like, “Nah. Just here to fuck a couple of these chicks you claiming.”

After a few text she told me I didn’t have to worry about the money – if that’s what was keeping me from her. “I just need that dick up inside me…” and a few other naughty text like that. “Nobody fucking me like you did Daddy” As tempting as all that was, I was looking for something more out my SB. She’d be perfect for a new Daddy just getting in the game. But I needed a girl that could dress up for and be comfortable at an expensive restaurant. At least be old enough to drink the wine. But I digress. Despite the option of having my way with her, I passed. After a few more texts, I just ended it and let the rest go unanswered.

I was feeling much better that night after getting my situation together in case I did get laid off. The Oracle was right. It probably wasn’t going to happen any time soon but I definitely got a reality check and a nudge that I needed to take care of my vanilla business a little better and not be so lost in the sugar world.

TBH the office is sort of miserable and dead with all the offices half full now. All the people I used to talk to are gone. My severance package was going to be pretty good though. Everyone getting laid off had been getting quite a nice lump sum. Plus I have shares so I’d be sitting pretty. Plenty of money to play with a SB but definitely any more than that.

Truth is I needed about 3 months off from work. If I got fired, first thing I was going to do was book a trip to Los Angeles. See my family, maybe smoke weed and hang out on Venice beach. Then hit Hollywood with my nephew who’s only about 10 years younger than me. There’s a couple of tumblr chicks I wouldn’t mind meeting up with either. If nothing more than just dinner and some clubs. It could be some platonic shit. Doesn’t always have to be physical. Might even hop up to the Bay area. The wife had already told me she was cool with me going alone. Lowkey she didn’t like my fam in Cali. That’s a blogpost by itself.

I was about to go to bed when Bubbles texted me. “I’m falling for you,” she said. Then she followed up with “I’m drunk.”

Oh great drunk texting. Some people say the truth comes out when you’re drunk. Some say drunk texting doesn’t necessarily mean its true. Who knows? Then she texted, “Well I’m falling for you but not in a stalker, leave your wife kind of way.” I told her to be careful and not to drive. She said they were taking uber. I let the conversation end there. Sugarbabies will drive you crazy if you let them.

Wednesday Mar 1st The day was pretty mundane until I got another random text. This time it was Jynx, a ex-stripper I used to play with it. One of my ratchet chicks. WTF? I ain’t the most handsome man around. My body ain’t looked good since the 90’s. My sex can’t be that good. Last time we were together she had got mad at me swore me off. That had been 4 or 5 months ago. We went back and forth with a few bullshit messages before I called her out. “I thought you were done with me?” I asked. “I was,” she said. “But I’m not done with that dick.” I laughed out loud. One of my coworkers was walking by and stopped. He asked what I was laughing at but I waived him away. “You just want some money,” I told her. “No,” she said, “I can get money anywhere. Dick too. It ain’t hard to find. But I ain’t gone lie, your dick is the truth…These dudes ain’t really satisfying me. And you don’t mind giving a bitch some money.”

A burst out laughing again. Jynx was cool. She may seem ratchet but she’s actually pretty intelligent. She had recently stopped stripping and got her a job at one of the Big 3 mobile phone companies. Jynx used to be with some big time dope dealer years ago, affording her a lifestyle most dream of. But then he got busted and got a 10 year stretch. That’s Fed time. Day for day. The C-class she had was bought brand new. Cash. But it was at least 10 years old. She had two kids by him too. So she left the state they were in and moved a couple of hours away from me. I asked her why she quit stripping. Jynx said she was getting to old. “Stripping is for young bitches” she had said. But damn, she ain’t but 29.

“I’m looking for a bartending job now,” she told me. “For extra cash. Real talk I wish you could be my extra cash. But I don’t see you be once every 3 or 4 months.” I tell Jynx we can hook up next time I’m in her area. But then she hits me with some new shit. “I can even come to you. Meet you halfway. Or you come here but I don’t mind driving there. Just as long as its regular. You know how you like to disappear…” Jynx is LD so its hard to keep up with the relationship. In the end, I told her we could do something in a few weeks. With FC flaking and Bubbles cancelling more and more, might as well as keep my options open.

Bubbles hit me up apologizing for the drunk texts from Monday. She hoped she didn’t scare me with all that mushy talk. I let her know it was cool. Kinda like a chick having feelings for me. But for now I can’t take her serious. Its too early. We haven’t been together that long. I’ll be seeing her tomorrow so we’ll talk about it some more.

#sugar tales #daddy's journal

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