#but yea might as well be real about that other part of my life too and now that's reality

[jade-curtiss]

Tout ce que j'aurais a demander à mon public absent, maintenant que j'ai de la visite dans mon logis, que faisiez vous quand moi, en mon absence, un certain chroniqueur (qui shoot dans toué directions) et un certain avocat (qui lui aussi shoot dans toué directions, malgré que tsé t'aurais pu juste shoulder pat le gars et lui rappeler les "délais" à la place de le grisonner, mais tsé j'connais pas toute l'affaire, vous non plus d'ailleurs messieurs et vous servez le thé en mon absence? Mais là? Anyways cashing off people's affairs (no, not like that) is always rentable, I mean...👀, Mais en prenant l'affaire t'as probablement juste overpressured some dude et scrappé la carrière (ou propulsé le layered grift si y joue comme ça(he should and must tho) d'un autre dude, come c'mon)

[itneverendshere]

THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - five

request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"

warnings: angst <3333333 for everyone <33; might need some editing bc im too tired to check everything but yeah

word count: 7.7k

The ride back to home was a blur. The plane ride, the ferry.

Everything. 

Every mile away from Rafe felt like reopening an old wound, over and over. The cops kept trying to make small talk, but you barely said a word. One-syllable responses if anything. Eventually, they just gave up and let you stare out the window in awkward silence.

By the time you pulled up, even the streets of The Cut didn’t make you feel any better. Home didn’t feel like home anymore. It was weird, almost like you didn’t recognize it. Walking in with the officers behind you just made everything feel more real, like a slap in the face of the life you were stepping back into.

“Your brother and your friends were rescued from a remote island a while ago. He was informed of your whereabouts an hour ago, he’ll be here soon.”

You barely processed what they were saying. It didn't really sink in. You just nodded, like you were on autopilot, but your brain was still stuck in everything that went down two days ago. What kind of sister doesn’t freak out when she hears her little brother’s alive and okay?

You should’ve been losing it with relief, right? But all you felt was this weird emptiness. You were supposed to protect him. You didn't.

Their words barely registered.

You nodded numbly; your mind still stuck between the events that had unfolded just two days ago.

What kind of sister had you turned into? Barely phased over the fact your little brother was thankfully alive and well? You were supposed to protect him. 

They could tell you were checked out, they exchanged this look, like they didn’t know what to do with you, then quietly stepped out onto the porch, leaving you to rot with your thoughts.

You wandered around the house, but every step felt so heavy. Every room was just a reminder of what used to be. The couch where you'd would argue over stupid TV shows while Luke was off doing who-knows-what, the kitchen table where it was just the two of you, eating and sharing stories like nothing was wrong... It all felt so distant, like snapshots from another life you couldn’t touch anymore.

You knew, deep down, things would never go back to how they were.

You ended up in my room, collapsing onto your bed, the sheets still smelling like home. But even that didn’t help the ache in your chest.

It didn’t feel right. Nothing ever did unless your brother was there.

But now, not even the thought of him being back could bring you peace. All you could think about was Rafe. His smile, his touch, his voice—every part of him was still so clear in your head, and it hurt so bad to remember.

That must be your punishment. 

A soft knock on the door jolted you from your thoughts. You sat up, heart racing. Your body was still on high alert, even the tiniest noise made you jump, like you were waiting for something bad to happen.

The sound of gunshots still echoed in your mind. It hadn’t even been three days.

The old wooden door creaked open, and there was JJ, his bright blue eyes wide and full of worry. He rushed to you so fast, you almost lost your breath when he pulled you into this bear hug.

"Holy shit,” he whispered, his voice shaky, "Holy shit."

Tears just started pouring out of you, and you couldn’t stop. You were full-on sobbing while he held you like you used to hold him when he was little, and it killed you. It was all so wrong. It devastated you. It felt so disappointing. He was never supposed to be the one carrying the family burden, you were.

After what felt like forever, you pulled back and wiped your face, your throat tight. JJ sat next to you, searching your face with those big, worried eyes.

“You’re not hurt?”

You took a deep, shaky breath, trying to get a grip. All you could manage was a small “No. You?”

“No,” JJ nodded, lips pursed into a tight line as if he was figuring out what to say next, “They told me about the shooting.”

Your heart sank further at his words. You had hoped to avoid talking about it, at least for a little while. You didn’t want to talk about that. Not yet. But the way he looked at you, like he used to when you'd protect him from everything, you couldn’t just shrug it off.

“I’m fine, I swear.” You reached out and squeezed his hand. "What about you? How did you get off that island?"

JJ let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“It was a mess. We were stuck there for weeks, trying to find a way out. Pope and Kie kept us sane, but it was rough. We finally managed to signal a passing boat, and they rescued us. But the whole time, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

You squeezed his hand even tighter, his words hitting you like a truck, and the guilt just kept building. You squeezed his hand tighter, trying to keep it together. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry, JJ."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, don't apologize. None of this is your fault. I—I should’ve saved you on that ship, okay? It’s on me, not you.”

You felt another wave of tears coming but swallowed them down.

“You did everything you could. We both did. None of this is your fault."

“The one time we changed places, and I couldn’t do it.”

"Jay—"

"I should have been there for you," he cut in, his voice cracking. "I hated not being there. "I hated it."

God, if only he knew. 

If he found out what really happened with Rafe, he’d hate you. It wasn’t his fault—it was yours. You pulled him into another hug, trying to say everything you couldn’t with just your touch. The weight of everything—your guilt, your pain—was too much, but at least you had each other. You could feel his body shaking, and you didn’t even know if it was from exhaustion or emotion.

When you finally let go, you took a deep breath, hoping to find some semblance of strength.

"We’re gonna be okay.”

JJ nodded, though you could see the doubt in his eyes. "I know. It's just... hard."

"I get it. But we're both here, we're alive.”

He gave you this sad little smile, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

You sat there in silence for a bit, and it felt fragile, but at least it was peaceful. Outside, you could hear the waves crashing, like life was still going on, even though yours felt like it was stuck.

"Do you think things will ever go back to normal?" JJ's voice was quiet, almost hesitant, like he didn't want an answer.

Normal? The nightmares of him finding out about Rafe haunted you every night, mocking at your mind. But You couldn’t tell him that. It made you want to scratch your skin raw. 

“Yeah.”

"Yeah," I lied.

You could see how tired he was, like he was just as drained as you felt. You both needed sleep, but honestly, the idea of closing your eyes terrified you. The nightmares were always there, waiting.

"Let's try to get some sleep," You suggested softly, though you weren't sure you could follow your own advice. "We both need it, ‘kay?”

“Let’s try to get some rest,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if I could actually follow through. "We both need it."

JJ nodded, even though you could tell he wasn’t convinced. He lay down next to you on the tiny bed, and you barely fit, but it was comforting. Just having him close made you feel a little less broken.

The minutes passed in silence, the only sound being the waves outside. You focused on them, using them to ground myself. Slowly, you felt the tension start to slip away, just a little.

"Do you remember the first time we went out on the boat alone?"JJ’s voice was barely a whisper in the dark, like he was holding onto a memory that felt safe.

A small smile crept onto my lips. "Yeah. You swore you knew how to steer, and we almost crashed into that sandbank."

He chuckled softly. "We were so scared. But you figured it out. You always do."

The memory was bittersweet, a reminder of when things were simpler, back when your biggest problem was not sinking a boat and you weren't a complete fuck up.

Now, you felt like you were drowning every day.

Your eyes started to get heavy, and JJ’s breathing next to you slowed, evening out. You wanted to tell him everything, but you couldn’t. If you did, you'd lose him for good.

Sleep came slowly, but when it did, it was deep and dreamless. Empty, like how you'd been feeling for way too long.

Morning came too fast, sunlight slipping through the curtains and filling the room with a warm glow. You blinked awake, feeling disoriented for a second before everything from the past few days came rushing back. JJ was still asleep next to you, his face finally relaxed, looking so much younger and peaceful.

You carefully slid out of bed, not wanting to wake him. The officer who comforted you after the shooting promised he’d call as soon as there was an update on Rafe. So far? Nothing.

You couldn’t help but wonder if the hospital had already contacted Sarah. She was basically the only family Rafe had left, other than Wheezie, who was just a kid, and Ward… well, a literal wanted criminal now. It made sense for them to reach out to her first.

If you called the hospital yourself, they wouldn’t tell you anything—You weren't family. And asking Sarah? She’d immediately know something was off. There was no way you could risk that.

The kitchen was weirdly quiet, the early light stretching shadows across the walls. You made a cup of coffee, letting the warmth calm the cold ache inside you, but even that didn’t really help. Sitting at the table, you tried to think of some kind of plan. You needed to know if he was okay, but every option felt like a trap.

Suddenly, your new phone buzzed on the table, shaking you out of your thoughts. You grabbed it, heart pounding, seeing an unknown number flash on the screen. Your stomach twisted, but you answered.

“Hello?”

“This is Officer Thompson. I promised I’d keep you updated on Rafe Cameron’s condition.”

You closed your eyes, thanking God for finally giving you some piece of mind, “Yes, thank you.”

“He’s stable,” Officer Thompson continued. “The surgery went well, and he’s in recovery. It’ll be a while before he’s fully back on his feet, but he’s out of immediate danger.”

The knot in your stomach loosened just a little. “Thank you for letting me know.”

There was a pause on the other end.

“I know this is difficult, but you should focus on your own recovery too. There’s a chance the feds will contact you, they’re building their case on Ward. What happened to you is, unfortunately, considered a minor crime compared to everything he’s done, so maybe you’ll get some peace. If not, you might have to testify against him.”

Testify. The thought of standing in a courtroom, reliving everything in front of strangers, made your skin crawl.

“And Rafe? What are his charges?”

"He’s facing several charges, but the severity of his sentence could depend on his cooperation. If he agrees to testify against his father, the authorities might offer him a deal."

A deal. The idea of him getting out that easily should’ve made you angry, but instead, you felt this weird sense of relief. You hated myself for it. You wanted him to pay for everything, for all of it. But now? You were clinging to any slim chance of freedom, even if it wasn’t fair.

You thanked Officer Thompson again and ended the call, setting your phone down with a shaky hand. The coffee had grown cold, but you didn't have the energy to make another cup. You sat there for a long moment, staring into nothing.

The sound of footsteps snapped you out of your thoughts, and you turned to see JJ in the doorway, his hair sticking up in all directions, still half-asleep.

“Who was that?” he asked, his voice groggy.

“Uh—Officer Thompson. He was at the scene the other day and told me he’d keep me updated.”

JJ tilted his head, his messy bed hair making him look like a confused puppy. “Updated on what?”

“Rafe’s condition,” You replied, the words feeling heavy on your tongue. It was a half-lie, but at least you were giving him something. 

He stopped mid-step, “And you care because…?”

“For closure, I guess," You mumbled, trying to brush it off like it was no big deal.

His gaze softened a little, but not by much. He pulled out a chair and sat across from you. “You’re too good, y’know that? Personally, I don’t give a fuck if he dies.”

You winced inwardly. "JJ, you can't just say stuff like that."

He leaned back, crossing his arms. "Why not? After everything he’s done, he deserves whatever he gets."

You couldn’t really argue with that, but something inside you felt the need to defend Rafe, even if you hated that feeling. He had saved your life, and that wasn’t something you could just forget.

“He’s still a human being, okay?”

JJ scoffed, shaking his head like you’d said the dumbest thing ever. "Barely."

You didn’t know why you suddenly felt so angry, so defensive. But it made its way up your body until your lips were moving again, practically spitting the words out.

“He saved my life.”

Your brother stared at you like you were speaking another language, “Saved your life? Are you serious? It’s his fault you were there in the first place!”

“He chose to help me. And I can't just forget that."

JJ ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “This is insane. One good deed doesn’t make up for all the shit he’s done.”

“I know that,” I said, reaching out for him, but he pulled back before I could touch him, your fingers only brushing against his shirt.

“Do you?” His voice was cold, and the way he looked at you—like he didn’t recognize you—cut deep. It was the look you dreaded seeing in your nightmares, and now, it was real, it ten times worse. 

"I’m not saying he’s a good person. I’m just saying… it’s complicated."

He started pacing around the kitchen. "Complicated? Complicated is being stuck on an island, wondering if your sister is even alive. Complicated is dealing with the fact that the guy who screwed us over gets to play hero for one day, and now you’re defending him."

"I'm not defending him," You said, voice rising. "I just… I saw a different side of him. Maybe he can change. Or at least help put Ward away."

You never raised your voice at him.

JJ stopped and spun around to face you, his eyes blazing. "And what if he doesn't? What if this is all part of some twisted game for him? People like Rafe don't just change, okay? They manipulate, they hurt, they destroy."

“JJ—"

“You sound just like her.”

You didn’t have to ask to know what he meant. Suddenly your entire soul felt like it was being drained out and slashed into pieces. A carbon copy of your mother, your punishment. All you life, you’d been told you were like her—just as blind, just as soft.

“Don’t say that.”

“That’s exactly the type of bullshit she would spit out about dad, wasn’t it? And look where it got her.”

"That’s the kind of crap Mom used to say about Dad, remember? And look where it got her."

Memories of mom came rushing back—the excuses she made, the false hope she clung to, and the endless disappointment. You weren't like her, were you? You weren't defending a man who was never going to change. You couldn’t be. You’d spent your entire life trying not to be like her.

It wasn’t fair. You were just trying to find a shred of humanity in someone who had shown you mercy. How could he think you were blind to Rafe’s faults? You knew them all too well. You felt exposed, vulnerable, and fiercely defensive.

“I’m not her,” You finally managed to say, your voice cracking, “I’m not defending him like she did.”

“Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better?”

Your eyes narrow into slits, “I’m not doing this with you, not right now.” 

You turned away, your fists clenched at your sides as you fought to keep it together.

He followed you hot on your heels, "Don't walk away from me.”

"I'm not defending him," You insisted, your back still to him, “I’m just trying to understand, okay?”

“Understand what? Jesus, Rafe is who he is.”

"And maybe he can change," You fired back, the words spilling out despite the tightening knot in your chest. "Maybe he saved my life because he wants to change."

"He's manipulating you," JJ retorted, his jaw clenched. "Just like he always does. You went through some traumatic shit together, but that doesn't mean you owe him anything."

You stopped dead in your tracks, turning to face him again. Your head was tingling, the headache already forming itself, and you felt hot all-over. The word "traumatic" set you off.

“Some traumatic shit?” You repeated, “Are you fucking serious?”

JJ raised both his hands, tangling them in his hair in frustration, “You almost died, and now you’re standing here, defending the guy who put you in that position in the first place!"

The accusation hurt. You hated fighting with your brother and he wasn’t wrong. You hated that Rafe was coming between you both, but you couldn’t shake what you felt.

He shook his head, disappointment oozing from him, "Good luck with that. Just don't expect me to sit here and act like everything's okay."

You blinked away the dryness in your eyes, "I'm not asking you to. Can't you see that maybe things aren't as black and white as they seem?"

“All I know is what he's done to us, to you."

“And what about what he did for me?” The words tasted bitter as they left your mouth.

“And what did he do exactly?" Your lips parted to speak, but words continued to spill from his mouth, “What did you do?”

You gave no reply, unblinking, short breaths escaping you. You couldn’t let it out. Not yet. Not to him.

Not to JJ, not yet.

"I don't expect you to understand," Your voice was strained,"But I’m not turning my back on him.”

JJ's eyes narrowed; frustration etched on his face. "Why?”

“Because I want to!” The scream ripped from your throat before you could stop it, tears spilling over. "I’m still my own person, and I can make my own decisions."

He opened his mouth to fight back, but the words seemed to evaporate from his tongue. The kitchen was filled with nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing and your instant regret.

“Fine,” he muttered, turning away. “Do what you want.”

You watched him walk out of the kitchen, his back stiff with anger and disappointment. It was the first time you'd ever yelled at him, and you hated every second of it.

Alone again in the kitchen, you sank back into your chair, your energy completely drained. Part of you wanted to run after him, to explain yourself, to make him understand.

But he wouldn’t. How could he?

None of them would.

Because unlike you, they weren’t stupid enough to sympathize with Rafe Cameron.

Sitting there, you couldn't shake the feeling that you'd crossed a line. You stared at your hands, still trembling from the argument, and let out a long, shaky breath. What was it about Rafe that had such a grip on you?

You heard the front door creak open and shut—JJ leaving. Maybe that was for the best. You both needed time to cool off. You got up, poured the coffee down the sink, watching it swirl away. Weirdly, the sound was kind of comforting, like you were washing away the mess clinging to you.

You spent the entire day locked away in your room, ignoring the sun, ignoring everyone. Your phone buzzed again, and for a second, you thought about letting it go, but you couldn’t. You picked it up, expecting another call from Officer Thompson, but the name on the screen made your heart skip a beat.

Sarah.

With a deep breath, you answered. “Hey sweets.”

“Hi,” Sarah’s voice was almost unsure. “JJ and the police called earlier, told us what happened. Are you okay? I’m on the mainland with John B, we’re taking the next ferry back home.” 

You closed your eyes, somewhat relieved that you wouldn’t have to face them yet.

“Yeah, I’m…Managing. I'm okay.”

“Good, that’s good,” There was a pause, and then she asked, “Have you heard anything about...Rafe?”

Had the hospital not called her? How much should you tell her.

“He’s stable. The surgery went well.”

Sarah sighed, “Good. That’s good to hear I guess.”

You bit your lip, unsure if you should ask, but you did anyway. “Sarah, did the hospital call you?”

There was a long silence on the other end before she replied, “Yeah. But I…I don’t know. I just couldn’t bring myself to answer. I knew it was coming after the police called. But—Yeah, it’s just, it’s really hard.”

You didn’t know what to say, “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re the only one not giving me shit about still… caring, I guess. He’s my brother, you know? And I want to hate him. I should hate him. But I can’t.”

"I get it, Sarah. He’s your brother. It’s okay to feel conflicted."

"Yeah," She exhaled heavily, "But I don't know how to deal with it. He's done so much harm, and yet. I keep hoping there's still some good left in him. I know there's no hope for my dad, but Rafe..."

She trailed off, and you knew exactly where she was coming from. She’d seen Rafe before Ward broke him down. And you knew she still carried that guilt—the guilt of being the favorite, never standing up for him, even when she saw Ward lose control.

“I get it,” You whispered. You were both tangled up in love and hate when it came to him, the messiness of family making it impossible to separate the two.

 “He was good to me.”

There was a long pause. You expected her to hang up on you, to freak out and call you a list of degrading names, all of which you felt you deserved. She had enough at the hands of her brother— the same brother you had come to care for, despite knowing the full extent of what he’d done. 

But you underestimated her. You'd momentarily forgotten just how compassionate and noble she was. She possessed a goodness smiliar to your own—loyal, forgiving, and endlessly understanding.

Both lovers and fighters.

 "I know, the feds told me about the shooting," Sarah finally said, "And I think that's what makes it so hard. Picturing him as the same monster from before was a lot easier.”

You nodded even though she couldn't see you, feeling a deep ache in your chest. "Yeah."

"I don't know what to do," She confessed, her vulnerability cutting through the distance between you. "Part of me wants to see him, to talk to him. And part of me wants to never look at him again."

"I think... whatever you decide, it's okay," You offered tentatively, not entirely sure if your words were comforting or just empty platitudes.

“John B disagrees.”

“Yeah, so does JJ.”

"I appreciate you telling me about Rafe," Sarah continued, her voice softer now, more vulnerable. "I... I don't think I could have handled hearing it from anyone else."

Guilt prickled at you. “I’m sorry you had to hear it like this. I wish things were different.”

"We all do," she replied softly. "Thank you.”

“Of course," You said, "Take care of yourself.”

"You too. We'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah. See you soon."

You hung up and stared at your phone, the screen going dark. It matched how you felt—empty, lifeless.

You spent the next few days in a haze, avoiding JJ and the rest of your friends as much as possible. You’d only seen Sarah. Somehow her presence didn’t make you feel as nervous as you thought. It weirdly calmed you down. You’d always been close, ever since she joined the group, but now you felt like she was the only one who understood your point of view. 

You knew Pope and Kie wouldn’t, and you couldn’t blame them.

Sarah never pushed you to talk, never demanded explanations. Instead, she just sat with you, shared a laugh or two, and let the silence speak for itself.

Your small house felt like a prison. It wasn’t until a week later, as you sat on the beach watching the waves crash against the shore, that your phone buzzed with a message. It was the officer: "Rafe’s awake."

Your heart jumped straight into your throat. You still hadn’t told anyone the full story about what happened between you and Rafe, and honestly, you didn’t even know if you ever could. They knew the basics—he was in the hospital, you both got caught in a shooting, and somehow, he’d saved your life. That’s all anyone knew.

But now, with him awake... you were completely lost.

With shaky hands, you fumbled for the phone, dialing the number the officer had given you. It rang a few times, "Hello, this is St. Michael Hospital. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm calling to check on a patient, Rafe Cameron. I was told he’s awake."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, just the faint sound of keys clicking away. "Yes, Mr. Cameron is awake. Are you a family member?" the nurse asked.

You hesitated, unsure how to answer. "No. Uh, a friend, I guess—" You almost started rambling, but instead, you settled for, “Can you tell him Maybank’s calling?”

"Okay, just a minute, please."

You stared at the sand, biting your lip, trying to figure out what you’d even say to him. When the nurse finally came back on, her voice was softer, almost pitiful, and you immediately knew you weren't going to like her answer.

"I’m sorry. Mr. Cameron has requested not to speak with you," she said. "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

Your whole body went numb. You wanted to throw the phone, scream into the void, drown yourself in the ocean and not come up until you didn’t feel anything anymore.

 What the hell? 

You’d spent weeks thinking about him, on edge, worrying if he was gonna make it, praying for him even though you weren’t even sure you believed in any of that. And now...he didn’t want to speak to you? Unbelievabl, like all of it—every single moment you spent worrying, crying, hoping—it was for nothing. You didn't have it in you to put up a fight.

"No, that's all. Thanks," you mumbled before hanging up.

You stared at your phone, trying to process it. Rafe didn’t want to talk to you. It was like someone ripped the ground from under you. Everything you thought you had shared, everything he did for you, saving your life... Had any of it mattered to him?

Had you just imagined it?

You tried to think back—Rafe had kissed you, touched you like you were precious, like he didn’t want to break you. And that moment when he’d saved you—had that meant nothing to him? Maybe you were just fooling yourself. Maybe, to him, you were just a temporary distraction, someone who didn’t mean anything outside of that life-or-death situation. Just a pogue.

You were just sitting there, staring out at the water, trying not to fall apart. The sun felt too bright, the world too loud, everything too much. The anger, the hurt, the confusion—Before you even realized what you were doing, a scream tore out of you, raw and guttural.

It ripped through the air, echoing across the beach as if it could somehow take away everything inside. Tears came next, hot and salty, and you couldn’t stop them even if you wanted to.

Without warning, a scream ripped from your throat, raw and unfiltered. It echoed across the empty beach, a primal release of everything you had been bottling up. You hadn’t cried properly in weeks. 

You screamed until your throat was raw, until you had nothing left to give. The sun cast long shadows on the sand, the beach deserted except for you. Collapsing back onto the sand, you let the tears flow freely. 

There was no one to judge you, no one to see you fall apart. You’d spent a lifetime pulling yourself together, it was only fair you finally got to breathe properly. When the tears subsided, you wiped your face with the back of your hand and took a shuddering breath. The tightness in your chest began to ease, replaced by a hollow ache.

You were many things, but none of them were weak and yet...It was almost unbearable, the way your mind replayed every interaction, every look, every word, searching for signs you might have missed, clues that would have warned you not to get attached.

Footsteps crunched in the sand, and you tensed, knowing who it was even before you turned to look. JJ. Of course, it was him.  You still weren’t ready to face him after the argument. But he sat down next to you without saying a word, just looking out at the water like you were.

When he finally spoke, his voice was softer than you expected.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.”

You nodded, unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry for what I said about Mom,” he continued, sounding just as broken as you felt, “I shouldn’t have compared you to her. That wasn’t fair.”

You swallowed hard, your throat still aching from the scream. “It’s okay,” you whispered. “I get it.”

“I did, and I didn’t,” he admitted. “I just... I don’t want to see you get hurt. I don’t trust him, and I hate that you’ve been caught up in all this.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

JJ turned to you, frowning, “What do you mean?”

“I called the hospital. They said he’s awake, but he doesn’t want to speak with me.”

You could barely get the words out without choking up.

Your brother frowned, his protective instincts flaring up. “That fucking piece of shit. After everything—”

You shook your head, cutting him off gently. ““Maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s for the best.”

JJ sighed, softening as he looked at you. “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

A lump formed in your throat, but you nodded, trying to believe his words. “I just... I thought there was more to it. That maybe he could change.”

“People like Rafe... it’s hard to change.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, tears threatening to spill again.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re wrong for wanting to see the good in him.”

He spoke with such gentleness and wisdom. You forgot he wasn’t a kid anymore. That he’d also done his fair share of growing up way too fast. 

You leaned into his touch, “I know.”

“We’ll get through this,” JJ said firmly. “Together. You and me, like always.”

You nodded, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the beach, you and JJ sat there in silence. The waves continued to crash against the shore, a reminder that life moved forward, even when it felt like everything was falling apart.

Maybe things would never go back to the way they were, but you had your brother, your friends, and a resilience you didn't know it was capable of existing until then.

⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Six months had gone by since that day, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

Life had somewhat gone back to normal, or at least a version of it. The days were getting hotter, like the summer was showing off, making everything sticky and slow. You’d spent the afternoon alone, sprawled out on the couch with a book you weren’t really reading, barely feeling the breeze from the old fan struggling against the heat.

You were in the middle of rereading the same sentence for the third time when loud banging on the door made you jump. The knock was so aggressive it had to be someone with a serious problem, and the sound jolted you upright.

You groaned, rolling off the couch and heading for the door. "What the—"

Before you could even finish, you yanked the door open, annoyance already building up. And then, just like that, it drained out of you.

“Rafe?”

It was him. Standing there. Looking... well, looking alive, which was more than you expected after months of silence.

You froze, staring at him, and instinct kicked in. You tried to slam the door in his face, but he was quick. His hand caught the edge, holding it open. “Seriously?” you hissed, shoving harder. “Get the hell off my porch.”

"Maybank—"

"If you don't get off my property, I swear to fucking God—"

“Wait—Maybank—just listen.”

“Nope. Get lost. Now.”

“Please.” His voice cracked, and his hand shook where it held the door. “Just give me a minute.”

You glared at him, every instinct telling you to push harder, to shut him out. But something in his eyes—fear, desperation, a flicker of the Rafe you once knew—gave you pause.

The last time you saw him, he was bleeding out and terrifyingly pale. It wasn’t the cocky Rafe you remembered. The last time you saw him, he was bleeding out, barely conscious. And now he was just... here. What the hell was he doing here?

The last update you had on him was from Sarah, months ago. He had left the hospital and kept sporadic contact, reaching out to her only every few weeks. You never asked her about his well-being or what he was doing; despite guessing that he was cooperating with the police.

At least you hoped he was. 

You were determined not to care anymore.

He leaned against the doorframe, looking worn out in a way that made you pause for a second too long. “You look good."

You rolled your eyes so hard it hurt. Was he for real?

You were going to slap the lack of common sense out of him. You weren’t about to let him waltz back in like nothing had happened.

You scoffed, not letting your guard down. “What are you doing here?”

He looked down, trying to find the words as he scratched the back of his head, “I... I needed to see you. To talk.”

“Yeah, no. Get back to whatever hole you crawled out of.”

You tried to slam the door again, but he held firm. “Please, just let me explain.”

“You had six months to explain.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I was— It’s messed up, okay?" his words coming out rushed and uneven. ”I’m still working with the feds. I was losing it. Still am, probably. But I need to explain. Please, Maybank, just a minute.”

Maybe it was the part of you that used to care, or maybe you just needed answers after everything that had happened. You stepped back, letting the door open just enough for him to walk in.

“Fine. Talk.”

Rafe stepped inside, looking around your small living room as if seeing it for the first time, which you now realized he'd never been in your house. And now that he was standing here, you regretted letting him in.

He turned to face you, his expression earnest. “I didn’t know what to say. I felt—“, He took a deep breath, cheeks puffing, “Ashamed. I don’t know.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, keeping a safe distance between you.

“Ashamed? You’ve done a lot of things to be ashamed of. You can’t just show up after six months and expect everything to be fine.”

“I know,” He admitted, taking a deliberate small step closer to you, “I wasn’t expecting that. I just... I wanted to tell you that I’m trying. I’m in therapy and rehab, trying to get clean. I’ve been going to meetings. It’s been hell, but I’m trying.”

You looked at him, searching for any sign of deceit. His eyes were clear, more focused than you had ever seen them. He wasn't high.

You eyed him skeptically. “Why should I believe you?”

“Because you’re the only person who ever saw anything good in me. And I can’t forget that. I don’t deserve it, but I need you to know that your faith in me wasn’t for nothing.”

The vulnerability in his voice took you by surprise. You had expected anger, arrogance, manipulation—but this was different. Genuine. It felt like you were back in that motel room, in his arms.

You scoffed, turning away from him. “Is that all? That’s why you showed up here out of nowhere?”

“No, it’s not,” he said, sounding more desperate. “I just—Shit. I need to make things right. With you. I don’t know how, but I need to try.”

You took a deep breath.

You didn’t want to talk to me.”

He winced at that, his guilt obvious. “I was scared, okay? I didn’t know how to handle it. I still don’t. But I’m here now, trying to fix what I broke.”

Part of you wanted to believe him, to give him another chance, but the other part of you—the part that had been hurt and abandoned—was screaming not to fall for it again.

“So you shut me out?” You snapped, “You made me feel like I meant nothing.”

“That’s not true,” He snapped back, head whipping up, then immediately softened his tone, taking another step closer. “That’s not true. You mean more to me than you’ll ever know. I was getting better for you."

“Don’t lie to me.”

Rafe looked offended, eyes zeroing in on your lips before his gaze met yours. That's when you felt it again, “I never lied to you, pretty.”

You recoiled at the nickname, taking a step back, needing space. 

“Cameron.”

Another step closer. His eyes pleading with you to understand. 

You were staring up at him now, the look on your face completely unreadable. You were waiting for an answer, but he had a feeling that no matter what answer he gave, it wouldn't make a difference.

"I never lied to you," He repeated, his voice shaking slightly. "I was scared and confused, but I never lied.”

“Scared and confused? That’s your excuse?”

Rafe flinched at your words, but he didn't back down. “I know how it sounds. I handled it all wrong. I’m trying to fix it.”

“You think saying sorry and showing up out of the blue makes it better?"

His hands reached out, his palms open as if he was dealing with a wounded animal. “I’m not asking for forgiveness right away. I just want a chance to make things right.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” You spat, your voice trembling with emotion, “How it felt, watching you almost die. I spent days wondering if you were going to be—” 

You stopped yourself, knowing that if you continued your voice would crack and the tears would start pouring down your cheeks.

You already cried enough for him. 

Rafe’s expression softened, and he reached out tentatively, his hand stopping inches from your arm. “I’m sorry, baby.”

You took a step back, putting more distance between you, needing the space to think clearly. “I needed you to be sorry six months ago.”

It’s only then, when your brain cleared slightly that you noticed he looked different. His hair had been buzzed, his skin looked tanner than the last time you’d seen him, he looked healthier. 

Rafe noticed your eyes wandering to his head and ran a hand through his short hair, a hint of a self-conscious smile flickering across his lips.

“Yeah, I uh, made some changes. Trying to start over, I guess.”

“I’m happy for you, but I can’t do this.”

“Pretty—"

You sighed, rubbing your temples as you cut him off, “I feel guilty enough as it is around everyone else.”

“I told Sarah.”

His words hit you like a punch to your gut. 

“What?”

“About us.”

You felt your stomach drop and your vision narrow, the world tilting sideways. “You what?”

“I told her.” 

“You absolute fucking—” You hissed, your voice rising without warning, “Are you serious?!”

“I thought it was the right thing to do,” His tone faltered to one that could’ve fallen on deaf ears if not attentive enough. “I needed someone to talk to, and she’s…my sister.”

You were fuming, pacing the room. “Do you realize what that could do? My life here—everything—could be ruined because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.”

Rafe flinched, taking a step back. “I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“Of course you didn’t,” You nearly growled, pacing the small living room. “You never think about anyone but yourself, do you?”

“Listen— “ He opened his mouth undoubtedly to fire back with another half-assed apology - but you barreled forward, letting the months of bottled resentment continue to burst open.

“You’re so selfish.”

“She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone,” His throat bobbed in an audible gulp, “It’s okay.”

“You really believe that?” You stopped pacing and turned to face him, your hands clenched into fists at your sides. “This is too much for her to keep to herself. It’ll eat away at her until she tells someone. And when that happens, my life here is over.”

Rafe looked stricken, “I just—I needed someone to understand what I’m going through.”

For the first time, he took the time to explain what was going on in his head instead of letting his frustrations take over and kissing you.

“And what about what I’m going through?” You demanded. “Did you ever stop to think about that? I’ve been trying to move on, to rebuild my life, and you just waltz back in and blow everything up.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

You spotted his sun-kissed freckles. They wouldn’t be noticeable if you hadn’t looked at him so closely before.

“Sorry doesn’t fix this,” Bitterness began to overpower the pit of your heaving chest, “Sorry doesn’t make it go away. You can’t just undo what you’ve done.”

“I know,” One shaky hand scrubbed over his face, refusing to meet your wide-eyed stare., “But I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right. I swear.”

“Make it right? You can’t make this right, Rafe.”

“I don’t know what else to do,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m trying, pretty. I really am.”

You felt a smidge of sympathy despite your anger.

You could see the pain and desperation in his eyes, the same pain and desperation you had felt for the past six months. But that didn’t change the fact that he left you hanging for so long.

“I need you to leave."

You expected him to put up a fight, to lash out, hide his emotions with empty threats and petty names. But he didn’t. Instead, he nodded, his shoulders slumping slightly as he turned to leave. You watched him go in silence.

Part of you wanted to run after him, to give him another chance, to believe that he could change. But another part—the part that had been hurt and left to heal on its own—knew that it wasn’t that simple.

You had to protect yourself, even if it meant shutting him out for good.

Rafe paused in the doorway, his back to you. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it carried clearly through the thick air. "I don’t regret it," he repeated, his shoulders tensing as he spoke.

You blinked, taken aback. "What?"

He turned slightly, just enough for you to see the raw honesty in his eyes. "I don’t regret what happened. Between us. I regret how I handled it, how I hurt you, but I don’t regret feeling something real for once."

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, the suffocating heat seemed to dissipate, replaced by a cold clarity. You crossed your arms tighter around yourself, trying to hold onto your anger, your resolve. But his words had hit a nerve, bringing back memories you’d tried so hard to bury.

You looked away, unable to look at him, "It doesn’t change anything."

"I know.”

And with that, he walked out, leaving you standing there, your heart in pieces all over again. You pushed away from the door, needing something to distract yourself. 

You picked up your book, but the words blurred on the page. You tossed it aside, your thoughts too chaotic to focus. Instead, you paced the small living room, replaying the conversation in your mind.

You eventually collapsed onto the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. You did the right thing, so why did it hurt so bad? 

You felt like a wound had been reopened, and you hated him for it.

But you hated yourself more for letting him get to you.

The hours dragged on, the sun dipping below the horizon and casting long shadows through the windows. You tried to lose yourself in anything—TV, reading, cleaning—nothing worked.

You only saw Rafe's face, his desperate eyes, his trembling hands.

You remembered the feel of his skin, the sound of his voice when he was vulnerable. The memories were too real, too persistent. You couldn't bring yourself to explain it to yourself. Your eyes begin to itch, warning you to think of something else.

Anything else but Rafe.

Was this heartbreak? No—it couldn't be. Why did it still hurt?

You weren't in love with Rafe Cameron.

At least, you didn't think you were.

You had never allowed yourself to consider it, to dwell on what you felt for him. But now, in the stillness of your small living room…it was different. You never had a good parental figure to teach you these things. All you knew was destruction, violence, and heartbreak. And although you’d done pretty well for yourself, all things considered, this was new to you.

You had tried so hard to suppress your feelings, to deny your connection with him. But this…wasn’t something that could be easily forgotten or ignored. You had been so afraid to admit it, fearing that acknowledging would destroy you. 

You were in love with Rafe Cameron. 

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU

A/N: This was all over the place 😞 I had a vision for it, but it just went out the window. Enjoy though 🫶🏻

Liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt, yourbestiename, 2forwoyne, and 9,678,456 others

jackharlow Only me and her, I don't care what you heard ❤️‍🔥 📸: urbanwyatt

View all 1,900 comments

yourbestiename MY PARENTS ARE HOT 🥵

jackharlow Not you too calling us parents. But yea we are 😜

allabouttheharlows 🔥 🔥 Y/N, come home the kids miss you 🥵 😋

jackharlow Hey now 🤨

user them girls sitting right 👁 🫦 👁 let me get a turn please

jackharlow Man wtf? What you think this is?

druski2funnny Idk who I want more???? My Jacky boy or miss thangggg? 🤔

yourusername Knowing you, you probably want Jack more 💀

druski2funnny You’re right 😭😭😭

ynupdates Wow mommy is hotttt, I bet she’s a real deal when she does school pick up.

jackharlow Funny you mention that…..

yourusername Babe noooo!!!!!

druski2funnny Babe yess, tell us. Even though I already know what this is about

yourusername You’re annoying, go away!

druski2funnny Maybe wear your wedding rings next time you do school pick up. See Jack, now me, I will ALWAYS wear my ring.

jackharlow 😭😭😭😭😭

yourusername Bubs, if you’re going to be telling the incident, tell it correctly 🤦🏻‍♀️

jackharlow Don’t know what you’re talking about 🤪🤪😏

yourusername Alright, bet…

jackharlow What does that mean?

druski2funnny Ohhh that’s your ass now Jack

jackharlow BAAABE????

Liked by jackharlow, g_eazy, yourbestiename, urbanwyatt, druski2funnny, and 8,677,467 others

yourusername Y no me importa que usted sea mayor que yo 😈 🎶 ❤️‍🔥

View all 1,800 comments

ynupdates Please tell me Jack knows what this song is saying 😅

yourusername I mean 🤫

yourbestiename 💀 Would you like some galletas with your tea??

claysgirlfriend 👀 LMAAOOO

jackharlow Na because I’m about to go on google and translate all the damn lyrics if none of y’all about to tell me.

druski2funnny Ahead of you bro, brb.

yourusername Instigating little shit

allabouttheharlows The guys part says they don’t care if she’s younger, and y/n is singing she doesn’t care if they’re older. If you know what they mean with that 👀 😲

yourusername I thought y’all would have my back with this 💔

jackharlow Now idk who you’re singing that to since you’re older than me but go off 😤

yourusername By likeeee 3 years, calm your little ass down.

jackharlow Still older than me, so go with the guy you’re singing it too.

yourusername Alright, I’m taking my kids with me.

jackharlow NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

yourbestiename & they call us toxic babe

urbanwyatt 🤦🏼‍♂️

allabouttheharlows It’s been 2 days, are The Harlows good? Or divorced?? Lmao

• jackharlow added to their story

•

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, urbanwyatt, druski2funnny, and 8,677,467 others

yourusername Dressed up or dressed down, Harlow’s gonna serve each time 💅🏼

View all 1,600 comments

druski2funnny Serve what? My food ? Because that’s the only thing y’all serving with those clothes on the second pic

yourusername I’M ABOUT TO BLOCK YOUR ASS

jackharlow Te amo 🤭😘

yourusername I love you bubs

urbanwyatt Lmao druski got you there 💀 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

yourusername You know what Urb? Go fuck yourself

urbanwyatt That’s what your best friend is for, thanks for that, I’ll keep her for life.

yourbestiename 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

yourusername Everyone has gone mad today 🙄

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, cozane, yourbestiename, princeroyce, and 9,677,466 others

yourusername When you see him, just know that’s all mine 😈

View all 1,900 comments

jackharlow Someone is getting a bit territorial and I’m here for it 😜

yourusername Have to let these females and Dru know.

druski2funnny See I was minding my business and here your ass go bringing my name up. Plus girl, you know damn well he’s mine. He said it himself, we’re life partners boo.

jackharlow 😭😭😭 stop it

yourusername You’re so delusional, I might have to go take you to the doctor Druski

yourbestiename LET THEM KNOW BITCHHH

user Keep the same energy when your other friend hoenitttaaa goes near him

yourbestiename Ok nosy….. if you must know, I cut ties with her when she kept being disrespectful. No go sit your ass down.

urbanwyatt My parents 😎

claybornharlow My favorites

allabouttheharlows We love y’all, but umm we want Harlow babies content 🙈 🙊

jackharlow Wooooowwwe just for that…. NOOOO

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux 💕

@harlowsbby 💕

@arination99 💕

@cmalass 💕

@jackharloww 💕

@minkookie95 💕

@deannaard 💕

@jacksmoviestar 💕

@harlowcomehome 💕

@fdl305 💕

@httpkoylinnn 💕

@xoxokiaraaxoxo 💕

[abeautifulblog]

Thoughts on the Radovid romance

A couple people have asked about the Radovid/Jaskier relationship, and I thought it was... fine? As fine as anything in this show gets?

I wasn't expecting it to dethrone Geralt/Jaskier, because 20+ years of Jaskier building his life and legacy around Geralt is a lot more compelling than Some Twink He Met Yesterday, but I did go into it with a genuinely open mind. Everyone on tumblr was gushing over their chemistry, and I was like, Yea I'd believe it, given that this is Joey Batey we're talking about. So I was expecting to enjoy it the way I'd enjoyed the Yennskier content in S2, the rare treat of two characters having a real emotional connection.

And then I watched it, and it wasn't bad, but the relationship was a lot more disjointed (and their "chemistry" a lot less compelling) than tumblr had led me to believe. (Lol, mea culpa, I should have known better than to take tumblr's word for it.) Also it’s unclear whether it’s supposed to be a cute romance, or whether it’s two people using each other for their own ends?

But it did brush up against some interesting thoughts I'd had before about Jaskier and his patrons, and got me to thinking about consent and power dynamics again, because I am THEE MOST predictable little beastie in fandom. 🤣

First off, I'm not sure what we're supposed to make of Radovid. Obviously he's ~hiding his true self~ in some way, but I can't tell if we're meant to take at face value the side of himself he shows Jaskier -- that he's more intelligent than he's been letting on, and is actually deeply lonely in the empty-headed partyboy role he's been playing, desperate for genuine connection and for someone to truly see him for who he is -- or whether that is yet more deception, and this is all part of some big ambitious scheme that he'll whip out in a mustache-twirling villain reveal. There are elements that make me think it's the latter, but Hugh Skinner's acting is also just weird (and why are his eyes so wet o_o), and I can't tell whether that's supposed to be deliberate foreshadowing, or if, once again, the people making the show are just clueless about how their creative choices are coming off.

(I assume this will get answered at some point, possibly already has in part 2, but I haven't watched that yet.)

Honestly, the part that caught my interest the most was when Jaskier showed up at Radovid's salon wanting to talk about new intel he had on Rience, and Radovid was blithely uninterested, just wanted Jaskier to sing for them -- and then proceeded to casually, completely disregard Jaskier's No.

gremble: Oho? 👀

That's a red flag! 😊 Jaskier tried to set a boundary, and Radovid brushed right past it. And in any competently-executed piece of media, I would expect that to be deliberately signaling something. It doesn't necessarily mean that Radovid is evil -- could just mean he's a crown prince who doesn't have much experience with people telling him No -- but seeing him blithely override Jaskier's wishes in a low-stakes situation sets a bad precedent, and foreshadows how he might behave later, when the stakes might well be higher.

...Except that this production team is so HILARIOUSLY bad at writing healthy relationships -- for three seasons they've been feeding us the most toxic slop imaginable and telling us that's what love looks like -- that I have no idea whether that was on purpose or not. 😂😂😂

--

The Radovid storyline does touch on some concepts that I've long found fascinating, about Jaskier's system of patronage and how he trades on his sexuality. How his work is canonically sex work, or at least sex-work adjacent (that's made explicit when he talks about the Countess de Stael, that they were involved sexually while she was supporting him financially), and the balancing act of keeping his patrons happy when they are always, always going to be second in his affections to Geralt -- and how they probably wouldn't be too happy to learn that.

Because for all that S3 tells us Jaskier is developing a crush on Radovid, Joey Batey's acting says something very different. He did not come off as a man in love, to me -- he came off as someone who's acutely aware that when the crown prince of Redania rolls up and tells you he's your biggest fan, you fucking smile for him.

(Why yes, Moulin Rouge is my all-time favorite movie, why do you ask? 🤣)

Jaskier's interactions with Radovid feel very... 'calculated' isn't quite the word for it, but Jaskier is conscious of the power differentials there, and always carefully choosing what he does and says in light of what he knows Radovid wants from him. He's conscious of having to keep Radovid happy, yes but he's also conscious of what he stands to gain from having a crown prince clamoring to win his affections, and what he could leverage out of that. (Like, say, having the entire Redanian army to protect his little found family.)

And the power imbalance isn't entirely one-directional either. Radovid wants Jaskier's affections, something that can't be bought or coerced, and wants his specifically, which means Jaskier has all the power to give or withhold it... while also being aware that toying with a prince's affections is a dangerous game.

........Or maybe I entirely misread that, and Jaskier's feelings for Radovid are meant to be genuine, and the whole thing was supposed to be a cute little romance. The way that Joey & the production team have talked about that relationship makes it sound like that's what they were going for, but what's onscreen is very ambiguous.

It will surprise no one to learn that I think the more interesting option would be the one that complicates Jaskier’s motives. That even if he likes Radovid well enough, he's still deliberately leveraging Radovid's crush on him to get help for Geralt -- and that if he oversteps, he's risking the wrath of a very powerful man. (And that as the perceived rival, Geralt could wind up as the target of Radovid’s retribution.)

Anyway, it's a fascinating situation, and almost identical to a fic premise I've been tossing around for years. It's never quite coalesced enough to get written, but it does compel me.

(Alternately, if you wanted Radovid to be noble and tragic, @coffee-mage-sans-caffeine suggested a situation in which Radovid and Geralt are in peril together, one of them is not going to make it out of this, and Radovid sacrifices himself so Geralt lives -- because he knows which of them Jaskier loves more.)

[justannadahfanfictor]

The Queen’s Successor part 2:

Hey guys this is my part 2 to the series of an OC Epic character named Liz or Poppy x another OC Epic character I made (a leafman named Michael). I hope you enjoy it, it’s the most I’ve write in a story before so I hope it turned out alright.

Warnings: angst, slight blood and death

Word count: 7.2 k

6 years later: 3rd person

It was a beautiful summer day. Poppy had been begging her mom and dad the last couple days to bring her to the pond so she could jump on the lily pads. They finally agreed so long as Ronin kept a close eye on her. Tara had work that needed to be done around the palace and couldn’t come with them today. She was jumping as high as she could and then letting the water move her around like a trampoline. She was having lots of fun even just playing by herself giggling as she landed each time. “Look daddy; did you see how high I went this time?” she said smiling. Ronin smiled lightly “Yes princess, but please be careful. you haven’t learned to swim yet.” “Yes sir” she says going back to giggling and jumping until a voice called out to her.

“Princess Liz!” An eager little boy called out as he ran to spend time with his friend. The two had only become friends recently with him coming to the palace a lot more because of his parents being leafmen. His mother has been one of the Princess’s personal guards ever since she was a baby. According to her it was because of her generous efforts the day the Queen was gifted Princess Poppy. “Hi Michael!” She called out excitedly waiting for him to come join her on the lily pads. His father had come to speak to Poppy’s father about the plans they had to expand the borders of Moonhaven in the next moon cycle. Michael reached out and hugged Liz tight when he got onto the lily pad she was on. They began bouncing on the pad while talking to each other.

“How are you and how’s your little brother” the Princess asked. “Nod’s good, getting bigger everyday. And I’m doing great! Dad says if I start working on my shooting and swords skills I can start training to be a leafman in a few years from now” he said with a big grin. “Leafman? But what if you get hurt. They do dangerous stuff a lot.” Poppy said as she stopped jumping. Michael stopped jumping too so he could reassure her. “Well yea, I might get hurt but that’s okay. It’d be an honor to protect the Queen, my kingdom and you of course. I’d make it my duty to look after you, so we can always spend time together!” “As long as you stay my bestfriend too” Poppy said pouting and holding out her pinky waiting for Michael to seal the promise. “Deal” he said linking pinkies with her. “Okay” Elizabeth said going back to jumping. “I bet you I can jump higher than you” she challenged the older boy. “Can not! I’m taller than you” he argued back.

While Ronin and his best friend were slightly occupied with their conversation and catching up, Michael and Poppy jumped at clashing times, sending Michael on his butt but sending Liz off the lily and into the water. “Princess” he yelled out in fear as he dove in after her as she was sinking rather quickly. He swam to her and pushed off the bottom of the pond as hard as he could to get them to the surface. When they reached the surface, Ronin and Michael’s father were there to pull them out, Ronin pulling Poppy close as she cried, scared about what had just happened. Both parents made sure to check over their kids thoroughly before they walked off the lily pads and headed back to the palace. Before the two families parted ways, Ronin put a hand on Michael’s shoulder and told him. “Thank you for saving the Princess’ life today. One day you’re going to become an amazing leafman.” Michael smiled with pride and looked to his father to make sure what he was hearing was real to which his father nodded and ruffled his hair.

Embarrassed about what had happened but greatful for Michael’s bravery, Poppy took her face out of hiding in her father’s neck and waved goodbye to him when Ronin started walking home. “We gotta start teaching you to protect yourself and look after yourself don’t we sweet girl?” Ronin spoke to his daughter softly while rubbing her back. He was terrified of there being another incident like the one he just dealt with. He kissed her temple and put her down as she nodded. She held his hand as they walked the rest of the way home; her thinking of the next adventures she’d get to experience with Michael would be, him thinking of how lucky he got today with his baby girl and ofc his over thinking kicking in of how he could take care of her better.

11 years (almost 12 years) later: Poppy’s POV

I was in the garden, working on my healing abilities to make them stronger; while simultaneously avoiding my mother and at this point my best friend as well. He had gotten so stoic since his father died a couple years ago. Ever since then it’s nothing but leafman duty this leafman responsibility that. The true him comes out here and there but I swear, sometimes it’s like hanging out with my father.

Regardless of his sometimes stick in the mud attitude, I can’t help but to be falling for him more and more everyday. His handsome looks, the way he makes me feel safe, but also not suffocated either, the way we spend so much time together with him taking over his mom’s duties as my head guard once he was of age. I even love his family; his mom being so sweet, wise and kind, his little brother, who could be a handful, especially for my father but I loved goofing around with and getting into mischief from time to time. But idk, he’s so hard to read sometimes. Some days I catch myself in moments with him where he holds my waist while we read, kissing my head occasionally, holding my hand when I’m scared or just the way he looks at me like I’m the only woman around, no one else catching his eye or heart. Other times I can’t get as much as a smile out of him, like trying to get feelings out of a brick wall.

I was pulled out of my train of thought when I heard footsteps coming closer. I knew the sound of those footsteps well enough to know I had been found. “Princess Liz, your mother wishes to speak to you immediately.” Michael said looking down at me and what I was doing. I stood up wiping my hands as I started walking that way. “Michael how many times have I told you, you don’t have to call me Princess. Unless you want to” I said flirtatiously with a wink. He tried to keep a straight face while his face turned a shade resembling one of a sunburn. “I’m just trying to-“ he started before I cut him off as we were almost right outside of the Queen’s throne room “ I know I know trying to uphold my duty as your personal guard. You promised you’d still be my bestfriend even when you became Captain” I mimicked pouting looking down at my shoes. He stepped closer to me before tilting my head up to look at him softly. “You’re always going to be my bestfriend” he said quietly enough for only him and I to hear it. He pulled me into a hug and as we started to pull back, I felt the urge to want to ask him for more. My 18th birthday ball was coming up and everyone had been constantly asking me who I was going to be bringing with me. I couldn’t see myself going with anyone but him. “What if we were to be more than bestfriends?” I asked only slightly above a whisper my cheeks glowing a soft peachy color. He pulled me back from our hug his arm around my waist lingering while staring into my eyes with adoration but also surprise for my question. It seemed gravity was bringing us closer together until…

“Elizabeth you can’t avoid me forever” my mother said with a smirk as she waited at the throne room door. Michael pulled back from me quickly to stand at attention for my mom. “Your majesty, I was just walking her to you -“ Queen tara waved him off before he could freak out anymore. “Please Michael, just Tara is alright. And it’s no problem. I’m sure my daughter was a hassle to find. She learned evading the guards from the best.” She said with a smile and a wink. “Ronin however wanted to speak to you about the protection plan for Poppy’s ball, if you could go meet with him. I’ll take it from here with Liz.” She spoke as she linked elbows with me pulling me towards her throne room. “Of course your maj- Tara, I’ll get right on that. Princess” he said bowing slightly to the both of us before heading to see my father.

My mom let go of my arm as she closed the doors to the throne room just for us to talk daughter to daughter. “Well he sure seems serious” she said with a giggle. I sighed and giggled with her “trust me you have no idea”.

Talking daughter to daughter only seemed to last so long when the topic I was avoiding for so long got brought up again. “So, have you given it any thought as to who you want to bring to the ball. There’s plenty of princes that-“ I let out a frustrated sigh and complained “Mom I don’t want to go with any stuck up princes. They’re all boring and never talk about anything but themselves and how great their families are. I’d rather just go by myself.” She nodded a silence filling the room as she seemed to collect her thoughts as to what she was going to say next.

“Is it that you want to go alone or that you want to go with a certain leafman who you didn’t know is an option I’d allow?” She asked with a gentle smile. “How did you? How did you-“ I stuttered nervously before she cut me off with a voice of amusement “oh please, I am the Queen. I see all; and you’re not as quiet about your feelings as you think you are. I see the way you two look at each other. It reminds me so much of the way your father and I used to pine after each other before we got together.” She said as she smiled fondly. Her smile faltered as she saw tears in my eyes threatening to spill over. “What’s wrong my sweet?” She asked bringing me into a hug. I finally let the cat out of the bag, all my feelings that had been bundled up. I just needed to tell someone.

“I want to tell him I love him, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I love him so much, but he’s so hard to read. Does he feel the same or does he only see me as a friend?” I say tears of anxiety rolling down my face. “ “He’s the only one my heart belongs to mom. I don’t know what id do if he were to reject my heart.” I continue. She dries my tears and runs her fingers through my hair. “Did you know your father rejected my heart before too?” I looked up at her in shock “but he’s like head over heels for you!?” My mom laughed and said “it’s true, but your father has never been one to express and feel emotions. It was easier for him to push them down, to hide them away and put on an icy cold exterior. Sound familiar?” I nodded. “My point for telling you this is if Michael is the one; meant to be for you, you two will always find your way back to each other, even if things don’t happen the way you would hope. But you never know until you try.” I took a deep breath and nodded “okay, I’m going to ask him” I say with a small smile giving her a hug. She clapped cheering me on telling me to let her know how it goes.

I took a couple of days to gather my thoughts and to figure out how I wanted to ask Michael. It was finally my 18th birthday. The ball would be in 2 days. I woke up late that morning to a really beautiful surprise. Flowers on my bedside table, with my favorite tea and breakfast and a letter from Michael. The letter talked about how much he cared for me and the plans he had for today to make my 18th birthday the best one yet, just me and him. He took me to spend time with Mub and Grub, we took a nap in a really cozy petal hammock, then we went for a ride on his hummingbird where he took me to field; a field that had a dinner time picnic set up already with all of my favorites. To finish the evening out, we ran in the fields at sunset watching all the fireflies scatter around. It truly was the best birthday I could ask for. It’s why asking him to come to the ball came so easy once he was walking me back to my room.

We were joking around pushing each other and giggling. It was so nice to see him smiling again. He has the most amazing smile. Warm eyes, kissable lips, ugh he drives me mad. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the head telling me Happy Birthday again, but before he could walk off I grabbed his hand. “Come to the ball with me, please?” I asked looking up at him. He looked at me confused. “Isn’t that a ball where you’re supposed to be bringing a suitor?” He asked me, a hint of jealousy in his voice. I nodded. I grabbed his other hand softly. Holding both of his hands I took a deep breath and started to tell him how I truly feel about him. “Out of all the people in the forest, you are the only one I want to go with” I told him quietly, still scared of how he will react. “I know we’re bestfriends… but I want to be more than just your bestfriend. I love you; and I think you love me too?”

I looked up at him waiting for him to give me an answer, anxiety starting to flow through my veins. I saw so much adoration shine in his eyes for a split second and just like that his eyes hardened pulling his hands back gently. “You know I can’t” he said at a whisper level. I inhaled brokenly trying not to let the tears in my eyes spill over. “And why not” I asked. “It will be a big event. It’s my du-“ I scoffed as he started to explain “really? You’re on about your duty again? You can’t just do it because you are my bestfriend? Wouldn’t I be safest with you by my side?” I said sadness there but starting to be overpowered by anger. I could tell he was trying to keep his composure with the pause he gave before saying “I am best making sure no one comes in to ruin your big day. To make sure you’re safe. The Prince of Sungrove is coming and so is the Prince of Rainblossom. Why not go with one of them? They fit into that whole royalty type thing, not…someone like me.”

My eyes softened a little. “Is that what this is about? I thought you knew status means literally nothing to me. I want to go with you because you are the one my heart beats for. Not some stuck up smelly privileged kid who still picks their nose.” He cracked a tiny smile before his face became serious again. My eyes filled with tears, a few falling down my cheeks. “Please come with me” I whispered pleadingly. He looked me in my eyes and told me “I’m sorry Princess Elizabeth. I can’t accept your invitation.” This made the dam burst I started crying heavily. He went to grab my hand. I pulled back and told him quickly “Fine. Don’t come.” I opened my door quickly, slamming it shut rather harshly. I slid down the door crying as quiet as I could, which was still rather loud.

One of the maids came to check on me after an hour or so where I was still sat in the same place just staring off at the same spot for minutes on end. She asked if I was alright while jiggling the handle, realizing I had locked it. I wrote a quick note reading “he said no.” I rolled the note up and slid it under the door. “Please give this to the queen” I said. She grabbed the note and then I heard her footsteps subside. I fell asleep in that exact spot, crying; not understanding why he couldn’t just come with me? Had I read his feelings wrong all this time? I feel humiliated, embarrassed, heartbroken.

My mom came almost immediately to come check up on me, but I was already asleep due to how exhausted I was from crying. She figured I need some space and just let me be, noting to herself that she’d come back in the morning.

The next morning: Michael’s POV

I felt really bad making Poppy cry last night. More than anything I wanted to be her date, I want to be the one she loves just as much as I love her. But if I have to love her in the shadows to protect her, that’s what I’ll do. I can’t lose another person I love. Commander Ronin and the other leafmen have been getting numerous reports of attacks happening at the border. He suspects something big is going to happen at the Princess’ birthday celebration. Ugh, could this day be getting any worse?

I was pulled from my train of thought when I was tying my bird up at the end of the day after a long day of patrolling. I figured it was best I stay out of the palace for the day, give the Princess some space. My younger brother came running up to me with a look of bewilderment on his face. “Dude. What. Did you. Do?” He asked me with a tone in his voice that says “you’re in trouble”.

“What do you mean Nod? I haven’t done anything. I’ve been patrolling all day.” I said exhausted. “The Princess is in a horrible mood. She’s like a thunder cloud. She’s been snapping at people to leave her alone left and right. The only person she’ll only really let around her is her dad, and sometimes her mom. But rumor has it from one of the maids last night she got her heart broken and now she doesn’t even want to go to her ball. I went to go see her today and she even ripped my head off. I told her I could come find you if it would make her feel better and she started crying and pushed me out the door telling me to leave her alone.”

My blood ran cold hearing all of that. I hadn’t meant to hurt her. I just wanted to protect her. I looked down at my feet not being able to make eye contact with my brother. “I didn’t mean to.” I said quietly, a tear running down my cheek before I explained what happened. “Dude the Princess is badass. And hot. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, why not take it. You’d be able to protect her up close.” He says trying to reason with me. “She wouldn’t want me to come anymore anyways” I say sadly. He gives me a pat on the shoulder and tells me just to apologize. So that’s what I decided to do. It was dark out already but I figured she’d still be up. It wasn’t too late.

I knocked on her door waiting for her to come out or at least come to the door. “Princess-..Poppy. I want to apologize for yesterday. I never meant to hurt you. I promise.” I started since she hadn’t come to the door yet. “I was too-“ I stopped in my tracks as the door opened but not to reveal Liz, but her father, who did NOT look happy. “You.” He snapped pointing at me as he closed the door behind him, leaving us both in the hallway. “Of all the people to act stupid and break my daughter’s heart I NEVER thought it would be you. I didn’t tell you about the need for extra security tomorrow for you to play hero and leave my daughter refusing to have a date and without her personal guard. She doesn’t even want to go anymore. She’s been crying in my arms all day, only just fell asleep.” He paused when he saw the shame that was on my face, the tear falling down my face. “I just want to know why? I see the way you look at her. I see the way you treat her. Do you not love her the way she loves you?” He asked a bit softer this time, hand on my shoulder. He lead me to a bench that was in the hallway for us to sit.

Shyer to tell this to my Commanding officer and her father I took a deep breath before telling him how I truly feel. I didn’t have my dad to talk to anymore so I know he was trying to be here not only for her but for me in a way. “I love her more than anything sir. She is the life of this forest and the light of my life. I just wanted to be able to protect her. I didn’t want her to be a threat at the ball for coming with a high ranking officer, so I thought I’d be best on the front lines to make sure no one gets through.” He listened to my words before asking me “have I ever told you about how the Queen and I got together?” I shook my head no.

He smiled nostalgically. “Well, you aren’t the first idiot to reject your bestfriend and person of royalty.” He started. “I spent years like you; super serious, never acting on my feelings. Showing my love for the Queen solely from the way I protected her. That was until Poppy came into our lives. She was the blessing that brought us closer. I got to spend so much time with the two of them and a few months in of taking care of Poppy, the Queen professed her love for me. It felt almost too good to be true. I didn’t want my position as commander to put her in danger. I was afraid of not being enough for such an amazing woman. So I rejected her advance, and I stepped back from taking care of Liz.”

He looked down feeling the disappointment of his past actions before he continued “I was too in my own head to see how much love both of them had for me and who I was really rejecting. This was the woman I’ve been in love with since we were kids, and somehow by Mother Nature herself I was blessed to raise a child with her; a child who missed me so much she didn’t sleep until I returned. And Tara never let me live that down. It took almost losing both of them to finally allow myself to love them; To feel the feelings I have for them both. Also don’t underestimate the Queen and Liz, they have been trained by the best. I see how the two of you are together and I see so much of my wife and I in you two. I wouldn’t want my princess with anyone other than you.” The queen at this point had come out of Poppy’s room looking exhausted and came to stand by Ronin’s side.

She put a hand on my cheek and told me jokingly, “you’re so serious sometimes. I think you get it from a certain mentor” “I’m sorry for hurting her, I just wanted to do what I felt would keep Princess Liz the most safe.” Queen Tara nodded and told me “I know you didn’t mean to hurt her. What you need to understand is there’s more to life than just protection and safety. Love conquers all. And I know what Poppy wants most from you, is your love.” “How do I fix this?” I asked nervously. “Liz could never stay mad at you. Just let it simmer down first before you go and apologize to her.” Tara started. “Tomorrow, go and be with the front lines. I will keep Poppy safe. it’ll give you time to gather your thoughts and feelings. Before the night is up, come with a gift for her and ask her for a dance. I’m sure it would mean the world to her if you were still able to make it, but you’ve already made a commitment to being on border patrol tomorrow.” Ronin finished. “Wow never heard romantic Ronin in action before” the queen quipped elbowing him lightly. Ronin rolled his eyes putting his arms around the Queen pulling her close.

While they were off in their own little world passing banter back and forth, I figured it was a good time to make my leave. I wished them a goodnight and thanked them both for the advice and comfort before getting up and heading home. Before I got too far I heard Ronin call out “Oh and Michael?” I turned around to face him while he talked. “Yea?” I asked.

His face lost all brightness and turned cold. A face left emotionless I had only ever seen him use towards the Boggins. “If you ever hurt my daughter again, I’ll make sure you end up in Boggin territory, stripped of your weapons and armor and stranded.” He said menacingly. I nodded quickly and told him “I promise, I won’t hurt her like this ever again.” He nodded, face softening a bit but still holding his famous stoic expression. “Good. Goodnight Captain.” He said heading back to his wife who was reentering Princess Poppy’s room.

The next day: party time and patrol time

I’ve been at the border for the few hours, the party having started about 2 hours ago. I already wanted to go, be there to try to make things right and be with the one I love. Regardless I was here to do a job. Something felt off though. Day in and day out for the last week we’ve been having Boggin attacks, suddenly today, it’s like radio silence. In the corner of my vision, down under the ground, it looked like there was some type of creature burrowing it’s way across the border until one of my men shot an arrow down at the moving dirt. A Boggin riding a mole surfaced the mole throwing the Boggin off its back before it went back underground and back the way it came. The soldier was apprehended and a few leafmen attempted to get information out of the Boggin, but it was no good.

“Strip him of his weapons and armor and send him back to tell his leader to stop trying to come over the border.” I ordered. As they went to do as they were told, the Boggin chuckled evilly. “He won’t be there. He has other more important matters to attend to. We hear there’s a celebration in Moonhaven tonight. For a certain Princess right?” I turned around, anger running through my veins as I grabbed him by the front of his armor. “What are you on about” I gritted through my teeth. He smirked at me and told me “Oh nothing, it’s just we wanted to be generous, kind neighbors and pay her a visit.” He said sarcastically. My eyes widened knowing exactly what he was saying. “Keep him detained. We’ll let the Queen decide what happens to him” I said quickly. I whistled to call my bird. As I was getting on the soldier called out to me “You’ll never get there in time. They should already be there.” He said taunting me. I pushed my hummingbird to go as fast as she could but it seemed he was right. As I arrived, guests were pouring out of the palace screaming in fear, looking to flee to safety back in their homes.

Poppy’s POV: an hour or 2 into the party

I don’t want to be here. I really don’t. I would rather be in my room, not having to socialize. Not having to make small talk with these Princes and Princesses that only want to talk about themselves or what new thing they have. I hate that I miss Michael. He always makes these events more comfortable, even if he’s working the whole time. He always tries to make little faces at me when no one’s looking to make me smile. At least my mom and dad looked like they were having fun. My mom was trying to make my dad smile and even at one point forced him to dance with her even though he was in hawk mode making sure there was no danger lurking.

“Princess, would you like to dance with me?” Someone called pulling me out of my thoughts. It was Nod. He looks so adorable. I’m sure my dad put him up to this with his stuffy dress clothes. Nonetheless it put a smile on my face. We started dancing together; it’s crazy how he’s only 13 and almost taller than me already. “Do you wanna get out of here and roam the castle? I know you hate these types of events. We’ll sneak away when Ronin isn’t looking.” I smiled with relief. I love his sneaky behavior sometimes. I looked over at my mom and dad who were busy dancing and caught up in each other. I really wish I had a love like theirs, true love. Love that makes you forget everyone else around you. “Let’s go, they aren’t looking.” I said ushering him towards the exit.

I took a deep breath finally feeling free as I headed back towards my room. We joked around a little before I got to my room. I changed back into my regular dress, making sure I had my pockets full of what is normally in there as Nod sat on my bed. “So are you gonna forgive Michael?” He asked addressing the elephant in the air. “Probably” I said with a sigh. He always has to make things so difficult. Even through that argument, I never really got a read on his feelings for me. I don’t care about the party. What I care about is I opened my heart up to him and I got no response. I must’ve been zoned out for quite a bit as Nod shook my shoulders bringing me back to the present and out of my head. “Hey you alright?” He asked me. I faked a smile and the responded “yea, I think I just need a minute alone. I’ll meet you in the courtyard after. I probably shouldn’t leave the palace on the night of my own party.” He gave me a gentle hug and told me softly “it’s gonna be okay, I’m always here for you even when my brother’s being an idiot.” I gave him a small genuine smile thanking him for comforting me, before he went back downstairs to the party.

Queen Tara’s POV:

I was having a fun time socializing, dancing, being with the one I love, but I could tell Poppy wasn’t enjoying herself. The secret eye rolls when she would speak to the royalty her age, the constant staring off into no where, the deep frown on her face. One minute I’m dancing with Ronin and the next minute she was no where to be found. “It seems our daughter has disappeared once again” I whispered to Ronin, amused but a little sad. He looked around super soldier mode turned on. “What? Where is she?” He asked starting to panic a bit. I hushed him trying to calm him down a bit. “It’s alright, she probably just needed some air. You know she doesn’t really like these kinds of events, especially being around so many people “ I tried reasoning.

Within minutes the ball became a disaster. Boggins attacked from every angle filling the party. Civilians ran out of the palace as quickly as possible, sometimes running over one another. Some leafmen were assigned to protect the royalty that came to visit and we made our way to one of the safe rooms in the palace. Ronin was attacking Boggins left and right who came to try to harm me as he guided me towards the throne room. We all piled in there, the leafmen spreading out to make sure if any Boggins were to make it in, they’d be attacked immediately. I could tell Ronin wanted to go after Liz. But as my lead guard, his duty was to be here. In a strict voice he called out to a few of the soldiers that were in the room with us.

“My job is to stay here and protect the Queen. If something goes wrong then that is on me. Go find the Princess and bring her back here. Make sure she is safe if not in this safe room then another.” He demanded. They nodded before drawing their swords and exiting the room. Ronin came to stand by me to ease my nerves, hand resting on my lower back. “It’s alright, she’s gonna be alright. She has them coming to protect her and she’s spent years training and preparing for a moment like this. If anything the enemy soldiers are the ones in danger right now.” He said placing a kiss to the side of my head.

Princess Liz’s POV:

I figured it was time to head back to the party. I didn’t want my mom or dad to get mad that I had left for so long. I made my way down the stairs and down the long hall making my way back to the party hall. It was quiet. Too quiet for the party to still be going on. That’s when I saw what looked like a soldier dressed in a dead rat running at me from where the party was supposed to be going on I threw one of my throwing thorns at him hitting him right in the neck. In pain he cried out yelling out weakly to the others “I found the bitch. Get her” I ran back the way I came trying to make it to my room. If I could get there. There’s a protective mechanism in the door to make it a safe room. I threw more knives trying to give myself more time to escape. I made it about halfway up the stairs when 2 soldiers came from down the steps, blocking off my path.

I hid the last knife I have just in case I had a chance to escape, but I let them hold me captive. One of them, I’m taking it be the leader of all of them grabbed me by the back of my neck/ hair and pulled me up towards my room. I panicked trying to dig my heels in. “Please don’t do this, I haven’t done anything. Please don’t hurt me.” I began to babble. The soldier who had my hair pulled a knife by my face and growled “shut up. If you’re good we’ll go easy on you. It’s not really you we want Princess.” He said with a voice like venom. He pulled me to sit on the bed, hand staying on the back of my neck as if her were waiting for something.

I heard a few soldiers call out of my name trying to find me and make sure I’m alright. The man who was holding my scruff nodded at the woman by the door before I heard scuffling, battle cries and then silence. Tears came to my eyes as I realized those men risked their lives for me but to no avail.

It was a little while later (maybe 10 minutes) when I heard a voice call out sounding concerned. “Princess?” He called out. My eyes widened an inaudible gasp coming from my lips. No not him, please not him. I heard scuffling outside once again. Tears ran down my face the longer it went on. There was silence once again until the lady who was at the door with fire in her eyes snapped at no one in particular “how is he not dead yet?!” She left the room and then the sounds of another fight pursued. When the palace was brought more silence and then the call of my name, the man holding me yanked my hair up with just the word “stand.” He pulled me to the door, knife by my carotid, him standing behind me like a shield. I stepped out of the room by the railing where I saw Michael, he was about halfway up the stairs.

There were bodies, both Boggins and leafmen laid life less all over. “Don’t look at them Princess look at me.” Michael said trying to put my mind at ease. I looked at him. He looked exhausted. His blood or someone else’s splattered on his armor, split lip, split eyebrow and what looked like a newly forming bruise on the side of his face. But his eyes remained the same eyes I fell in love with. Full of life, adoration, kindness. The officer behind me was mouthing off to Michael talking about killing as many leafmen as possible, including Michael. When the Boggin wasn’t paying attention I pointed a finger at his hand that had the knife in it telling him to shoot there with his bow and arrow. He gave me a questioning look and so I mouthed to him “trust me.”

He took the shot shooting straight through the man’s hand. The man started hollering and I moved away from him getting behind him, using my last knife to stab him in the back before pushing him over the railing as he fell head first to his death; not before slicing me pretty good from where my ear and jaw connect to my chin with the knife that was in his hand. Michael ran to me holding me in his arms. He held me close using reassuring affirmations and kissing my head (whether those affirmations were used to calm him or me down, one will never know.) He tilted my chin up to look at me before he started to panic again “oh you’re bleeding, quite a bit. He got you good.” He said trying to find a piece of fabric to put pressure on the wound. I grabbed his hand to stop him from freaking out before I used my other hand to place on top of my would, healing it so all that was left was a scratch. I then took my hand that was holding his hand and placed it where I could see the bruise forming and on his eyebrow to heal up his wounds.

“It looks like my healing studies have come in handy.” I said lightheartedly. He looked at me with so much love in his eyes. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. “I thought I was going to lose you” he said quietly. “I’m not completely helpless y’know.” I said giggling lightly. “I’m aware of that.” He said acting unamused. He pulled me into a passionate kiss. My hands went to wrap around his neck, one hand playing with his hair that was showing out of his helmet. We pulled back from each other only when we both needed air. He placed his forehead on my own and told me the words I have been dying to hear for years. “I love you Elizabeth. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you-“ he said before I interrupted him with another kiss.

“Well it’s about time” I heard a familiar voice say interrupting us as we pulled away from each other. “Haha it’s good to see you too brother. Glad you’re safe. Michael said walking over to his little brother and pulling him into a bone crushing hug. My father walked up behind them a sigh of relief being audibly heard when he saw I was okay. I ran over to hug him. “Thank the spirits you’re okay.” He said hugging me tight kissing the top of my head. “Your training paid off. That and Michael came to save me” I said pulling a bit back from the hug. My dad looked down at me with such adoration a tear slipping down his face. He caressed my cheek softly, thumb moving back and forth as a form of comfort. “You really are all grown up my sweet girl.” He said with lots of love. He looked up at Michael and went over to him, locking forearms with him in a handshake before pulling him into a hug. “Thank you for coming back for her.” He said relieved I have someone looking after me, someone who would be willing to die for me if that were what needed to be done.

I let them have their moment while I went over to the fallen leafmen soldiers to see if any of them were healable. For the ones who had passed I closed their eyes and laid them in a way that was considered honorable. (Their body would be laid the same way when it was time for their funeral) I then healed the ones who were in critical condition as much as I could. They would still have quite a long road ahead of them, but it was better than a road that didn’t end prematurely. My mom came to join us all since the palace was deemed safe again. She came to stand over me as I healed the last soldier I could heal. “You’re going to make an amazing Queen one day.” She said kindly pulling me into a hug as I stood up. “I’m so glad you’re okay” she said into my hair as she kissed the side of my head. I hugged her back telling her, blushing a bit “I would’ve been a lot worse had Michael not come back to protect me.”

He came to stand by me holding my waist. He bent down a bit to kiss my cheek as he told me “it’s kinda in the job description but it’s my pleasure.” My mom squealed saying “Ronin are you seeing this too?! Finally.” We all spent a bit more time together talking and dealing with matters such as taking the wounded soldiers to the infirmary, taking the bodies of the enemy away, preparing the bodies of the fallen leafmen away, and so many other clean up procedures of that disastrous ball before I decided to turn in for the night, Michael insisting on escorting me back.

My mom was right; things hadn’t worked out exactly how I planned it, but I was still just as happy with the outcome. It was worth the wait and worth the initial hurt. I drifted off to sleep thinking about how happy I was finally getting to be with my divine love, my bestfriend.

A.N: there is a smut part to this but I’ve taken it down until someone lets me know they even want to read it 👍🏻. Not going to continue to deal with hate comments. Hope you enjoyed.

[theambitiouswoman]

hey,

idk if i should ask this but there's things really messed up for me and i really need some advice and get out of this.

*i always see many different kinds of posts about self improvement and self care and after seeing that i make many goals for myself that i will implement all of these. But i just dont know how to do these and how to start and what to start i just want to do all of the things in one day which i will never do.

*i am a high school student, this is my last year of school and also it is really important and this is the only very long vacation i got and i am very weak in studies also i have very less knowledge about many things (like i am just dumb?). My school is gng to reopen on 28 august and when my school is closed i planned various things that i will improve to do to improve myself and become a completely different person (like have a glow up). But i did nthng for like whole one month and just watched kdramas and stuff. i also have many things to study and complete stuffs.

*i jst dnt knw hw to do like planning and stuffs and do my works according to it. bcz i tried making notion templates regarding everything and do all the stuffs in one day and bcm a wonder women in one day but i did nthng. and then i deleted my whole notion page bcz i jst dk hw to do. i also tried bullet journaling that didn't work s well. i jst dk wht do everything is jst messed up.

*also i feel so embarrassing talking to someone verbally in english bcz idk i jst start saying nonsense words like i realy dk hw to speak english even though I've been speaking since i was 4.

*i am just struggling with all the aspects of my life. and idk hw to just start.

*also like i jst be scared to talk to someone or even speaking in class or anything i jst stand there being embarrased and getting weird looks from everyone in my class. no one even asks me anything bcz they know tht idk anything and everyone looks down at me like my own parents too.

*and my sleep schedule is also a mess rn. and like the whole day i jst keep making fake scenarios in my mind tht i dnt feel like i am in the prsent my brain jst gets numb and i dnt feel any thing in the present its jst like yea the prsenet is somewht gng on but i hv no idea wht is gng on i jst forget everything. this is gng on since many years. evn at school i jst dont listn to any lecturs bcz of this. i think my thinkinh capabilities has also gone. i jst forget things very easily.

*i wanna workout to remove my leg fat but i end up planning many thiings in one day like focusing my whole body this and that and then i give up that toooo.

i hope i get a reply from you :(

Hey! Just saw this part of your question.

I get what you're going through. You want to make things better, but you're not sure where to start.

If planning tools like Notion or bullet journaling don't work for you, that's fine. Try making a list or using your phone's notes section. That's what I do.

When it comes to talking in English, it's okay if you feel scared or mess up sometimes. You're being tough on yourself and caring too much about what others might say. This is something many people go through. But let's shift our attention away from others and focus on how you can handle this feeling of not being sure about yourself.

Are you truly putting effort into improving yourself, or do you give up as soon as things get tough? This matters a lot because you need to make a real commitment. If not, you'll just keep going around in circles of negativity. If you want to exercise, then go ahead and exercise. What is stopping you? Think about it? Just yourself. That is quite literally it.

If your sleep schedule is messed up and you feel disconnected, try setting a routine for sleep and doing things that help you stay present, like meditation or going for a walk.

I can tell you're feeling pretty down and everything seems gloomy right now. I understand, and it's not a good feeling. But there will come a time, and it looks like you're getting there, when you'll need to stand up and take charge of your life again.

If you really want to work on all of these things, you need to cut/stop doing all of the negative things you are doing now and only focusing on the version of you that you want to identify with. Change might feel tough, but staying stuck in one place is tough too. You get to pick which kind of tough you want to deal with.

I am going to teach you right now what you need to do if you really do want to work on yourself.

Write down things that make you feel not so good that you want to change.

Next to each item, write down how you can make these things better. For example, if you're not exercising enough, you could start taking short walks every day.

Forget the old version of you exists. Imagine you used to eat a lot of junk food and that made you feel tired. Decide that you won't go back to eating junk food even when you feel like it. You need to really have a vision for yourself and who you want to be. This is important because it will be how you motivate yourself.

Keep finding new ways to make your situation better. If you're trying to be more social, maybe you could join a club or group where you can meet new people.

Exercise and incorporate more healthy meals into your diet. Exercising will not only make you feel good but it will also help you look good.

Take care of your appearance. When you look good you feel good and vice versa. You will become more motivated and confident.

Stop procrastinating. Set realistic and achievable goals. This will help you boost your confidence as well as increase your levels of productivity and discipline.

Get hobbies. Learn new things, figure out your passions and pursue them. Live a life of purpose so you don't continue to feel like you are just floating through life.

Avoid negative content or really anything that no longer aligns with the version of you that you want to be. You want to change your life? You want to be a different version of yourself? What does that person look like? How do they act? What do they do? Your whole life should be consumed with those examples and those examples ONLY.

Learn a new skill and practice it daily. This will help you grow as a person. Develop critical thinking skills. You learn new things and become smarter. It will make life more interesting and exciting for you.

Keep promises to yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, who will? People will treat you how you treat yourself.

REPLACE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE ONES. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself because you are listening and your mind is normalizing these ideas.

By doing these things, you can feel better, be more confident, do well in your tasks, try new stuff, have good relationships, make good choices, stay positive, and be someone others trust. It helps you have a happy life where you learn and grow while being kind to yourself and others around you <3

[inchidentally]

Maybe I’ve been reading too much fan fiction but part of my feels like it could really happen where Oscar assumes Lando is too cool or too wild for him and doesn’t push for more of a friendship. I remember Carlos and Daniel having no problem doing trips and social stuff or just hanging out more with Lando pretty soon after being his teammate. I feel like Oscar having been a fanboy he’s just assumed he would be too quiet and shy to join in Lando’s partying and cool friends.

(mental note here I'm speaking fully non-RPF and purely the real life friendships)

well I will weigh in and say that Carlos and Lando didn't start properly socializing (apart from golf, which was always in a group of 4 or more) until 2022 when he went for the wedding. before then yea, Lando's never minded third wheeling with Carlos and Isa like he does with Carlos and Rebecca but I don't really count that as much bc it's sort of like parents and child aslfglafg

and it was the same with Daniel - they didn't immediately bond and it was probably around the same time as with Carlos that they started hanging out more socially. it all makes sense bc Lando finally got old enough to have more in common with those guys and to fit in with their friend groups more. a 19 or even a 22 yo gamer/youtuber isn't going to have much in common with guys in their late twenties or thirties who have steady girlfriends (apart from F1 or sport) esp when Lando has always been young for his age. Lando hinted at wanting to visit Daniel's ranch like what, two or three years ago? and he only just now visited and only for one day during his winter break with his (very definitely close friend) Martin Garrix.

and it's worth saying here that an anon gave a very detailed rundown of just how much Lando and Max V have socialized for years to a degree he never has with Carlos or Daniel. same with George and Alex who he's also known for ages. so I'd say a lot can be said for people misinterpreting Lando's closeness with the F1 friends based on "bromances" rather than reality. car|ando is big business in fandom world, closely followed by dando - so that's the stuff that gets cherry picked out. but you could find the same content with Max, George or Alex.

Lando's degree of actual friendship with someone clearly takes a while for him to warm up to. and as another anon said (and as Lando said himself) he has an entire friend group from karting days who are no longer involved in racing who are his tightest friends.

so I think for those waiting for Oscar to maybe become closer friends with Lando socially, it was never going to happen after just one season! thankfully we have two more seasons to see where things go <3

as far as how Oscar feels or views himself I just feel like we're missing wayyyy too much authentic info about Oscar to make any conclusions! since it's what I do I'll theorize that it would be way less to do with Lando seeming "too cool" since Oscar's seen so much of Lando's content over the years to know that Lando would never classify himself that way lasfgljsahfa.

I think it would more come down to Oscar saying that he's a very mellow, lower energy guy and spends most of his time with Lily or his own friends in small groups in private rather than at events or clubs etc. now! a lot might still change as Oscar relaxes into his F1 role and starts getting more invites from the rest of the grid. I'd personally like to see that bc he deserves to flex a little and stake his rightful place among those guys!

but as of right now, Lando's energy levels and the type of fun he has doesn't line up with Oscar's. Lando also lives a very blissfully happy bachelor existence and that's not rly 'conducive' for a guy in a ltr. and Oscar hasn't been in Lando's life long enough to start popping up at golf or padel with his friends of 4+ years.

but considering everything Lando, Oscar, Zak, Andrea etc etc have said about what perfect teammates they make for each other, and that F1 is Lando and Oscar's number one priority in life for the foreseeable, having an F1 bond is pretty damn strong??

oh and unless he relaxes a lot more I don't see him jumping on stream with Lando. he's so carefully cultivated a friendly but not hugely accessible relationship to fandom that something as unpredictable as a stream seems way too out of character.

I feel like I veered all over the place w this anon but it was a bit difficult for me to answer!!

[mintytealfox]

Hi-ho! I got a headcanon for nortalice, food related this time! 😁

Now, I imagine that Norton didn't have much of warm/hot food during his life, much less access to them. The one time he had hot food, was when he was 5 and had a cold, and his father made watery soup that was more hot water than anything (Don't mind me, just sliding my own headcanon about his parent 😅) So when he does have hot food (maybe Alice takes him out to eat together, maybe as part of a stake out for a story she's tracking) and takes a bite, he's genuinely taken aback by the flavors and warmth , that he starts silently tearing up, much to Alice's concern and him just trying to quickly regain his composure and wiping away his tears.

And relating this to acts of service being a love language (maybe? 😅), I like to imagine Norton trying to cook for Alice. Like maybe after sleeping over at her apartment, he wants to repay her back and wants to whip up some breakfast. Problem is: Norton doesn't know how to cook. Then again, poor guy staved off stale loaves of bread and maybe boiled potatoes. So imagine Alice's face when she sees a plate of uneven cuts of fruits and mushed potatoes that were not peeled, much to his embarssment XD

But he is open to learn and he and Alice bond over that, because I can imagine that during her time as an experiment subject, she was only fed food that provided the necessary substances and nutrients, no paid mind to flavor or style 😓

Sidenote: I'm split between if they are the type to feed each other food or not, maybe if they feel playful? 😊😅

FOOD 🤌🤌👏👏👏👏😍

Gosh yea, I bet it was bread all day everyday, easiest to buy, easiest to find, and it can last a bit before going bad ah

gosh he really does strike me as someone who enjoys warmth in the comfort sense ;;

awww, I really do hope his dad took good care of him even though he himself was dying ;; Sounds like he was a really good kid and guy for a long while until he finally snapped ;; So I am wondering if he learned that good from his dad since the mom isn't mentioned ever ah

I bet Norton only knows how to cook what kept him alive all this time, like you said probably potatoes and bread (GOSH this dude gets me all sad sometimes AHHHH) BUT I bet he makes them potatoes and bread real well with those nasty potatoes and flour he could afford. So seeing the fancy potatoes and flour he'd be like "even the flour and potatoes look rich here....." Going about the usual routine and seeing how his process works with this fancy versions. Might taste real good actually lol Only making one meal over and over and over, bruhv an expert at that meal lol -curls up in a ball and sobs, NORTON-

YES! He has such a thirst for knowledge he would take to the teaching so well! Bro being a good COOK -SOBS-

GOSH! Receiving that help and assistance to broaden the sorts of foods he can eat, so he won't get as sick when branching out anymore, and Alice sitting with him when he does get sick from too much nutrient rich foods -SOOOOOOBS-

LOL I don't think they would feed each other unless one was sick~ Then I could see it LOL

[tohisprettyc00l]

Heyy! Can you do a Hunter x Sabrina Spellman!reader but shes from the human realm & an incredibly powerful witch like shes super skilled in witchcraft, dark magic and etc.. & just really smart how he met her was bcz of Luz & she introduced the reader to the gang and she immediately knew that they weren't human so yea 😭 feel free to input any other ideas of you have in mind & take ur your time!~

A/n:I've never seen whatever show Sabrina is from and I couldn't find any clips so that part might be off sorry if so. Also I forgot about the x hunter until was too late I'm sorry.

You had been friends with Luz as long as you could remember. Her "odd" (as others would say) demeanor pulled you in. But one day she disappeared for months.

A weird defiantly not human version of her took her place. Everyone believed it to be her but you could tell it wasn't. Spending one summer at camp doesn't change you that much. And there was something else that you couldn't place your finger on but she definitely wasn't human.

But then Luz (the real Luz) returned. She was noticeably sadder but didn't want to talk, which you could respect. After a week of being back, she invites you to her house again. You realize that you've never been to her house before. So you agreed, it would be cool to see what her house looks like.

When you did come you discovered 6 other people. Her mom, which made sense, but there were five other children. Despite their looks, they weren't human. You could sense the magic in them. But you didn't want to mention it. They might not want you knowing or maybe Luz and her mom didn't know. Or worse, they were actually humans.

Lunch was nice. But you were having a hard time not mentioning it. But you can't think of one scenario were mentioning it ends well. Luz took notice of your strange behavior and pulled you aside to her room.

"Hey buddy ya doing okay?" She asked. If anyone would be okay with living with non-humans and not take offense to the notation they weren't human it would be Luz.

"Okay, so l don't take this the wrong way. But your friends are they... human?" God, you hope you are right. Because that would be a weird question to ask if you weren't. A look of shock spread across Luz's features.

Okay, so right direction! Probably.

"It's fine if they aren't!" You said quickly. "I just have really really strong feeling that won't go away." You waved your hands around frantically.  "Promise not to tell anyone?" Luz said. "Pinky.

She inhaled deeply. "Okay, so they are all witches and they needed a place to stay beside Vee who is a shapeshifter and took my place for a bit but basically my sister now." her voice thinned out at the end before she took a deep breath. "So that's why you were acting so weird."

Once you explained what you meant by that and grabbed a notebook and pencil you went back to the kitchen. After the initial wave, a shock from them wore off they all seemed surprisingly ready to answer your questions. Mainly Gus who seemed just as instred in human culture. 

You think you've made five new friends for life.

A/n: Ahh it's done! I lost motivation because I accidentally deleted it, I'm not too proud of it tho   :<. Hope it's okay still

[fanaticmorelikefantastic]

I'm trying to split this into parts but I think I like the huge chunk of text best

A few days passed, a few chapters passed, despite my conscience. I lie on my bed, back to the mattress and laptop precariously perched on my lifted knees. The character Leon is very much different from (my first impressions of) real life Leon, so it should be acceptable, right? I could always ask him about it the next time I see him. Speaking of, I haven’t messaged him yet. Does he respond to texts, or is he more of a call-me kinda guy? There’s only one way to find out, right? I flop my head to the side, looking at my phone which was staring right back at me. I place down my laptop and sit up straight. This is serious business. I open a new message thread with him as the recipient and stare. It really is hard to know what to say. Would he even reply? It is pretty late. Does eight o’clock count as late? I felt stupid. I wrote a number of drafts, thirteen to be exact, before landing on the glorious, eloquent, concise and demure:

 ‘Hi :)’.

Wow. How original. I sigh after I send the thing, not knowing if I destroyed my entire reputation with him with just one word, but then I remember how stupid I acted when we were talking in person, so I felt a little bit relieved. Maybe he was into stupid people. I had been staring at my phone screen for a while, and I almost jumped when Leon’s reply came in. 

‘Hey there stranger.’ My mom says that. I laugh a little bit to myself, the tension I didn’t know I had accumulated leaving my shoulders. I fall onto my back and type away.

‘About that coffee date,’ Might as well call it what it is, right? ‘How’s tomorrow at 5?’ Most regular working people get off by then right? Or should I not have suggested a weekday at all? That would’ve been better, right? I need to stop saying right, it's making me sick.

‘Yea that works great.’ Oh thank God. I quickly type back (not too quickly though, I don’t wanna mess up my spelling and look like even more of an idiot).

‘Okay, I’ll see you then?’ I held a breath.

‘Of course.’ 

The day of reckoning is upon thee. Thy heart shall be examined and let woe be also upon ye if any impurities they find, for ye shall be smote with their unquellable wrath and thy face forever stained by iniquity.

Today is the coffee date.

I sigh and turn on my side, then my other side. It’s only… 8 in the morning, so I turn over (again) and try to go back to sleep so I can avoid my problems. Problems, like what I should wear. What should I wear?... What should I wear! I sat up so fast my skin almost flew off my bones. I haven’t been on a date since, since, since- My face contorted into shock as I came to the realization that I have, in fact, never been on a date. I think. I hope I’m wrong as I slug out of bed and into my houseshoes. I tried my best to think through all (three) of the drunken parties I had in college, but anybody I liked then ended up being either taken, or a scumbag. Some guys would ask for my number at parties, but they never contacted me, so I think they were just playing around. There was this one guy back in high school, but does that even count anymore? Not that it matters because by the time I figured out he (formerly) liked me back, he had already dated and broken up with one of my friends. Then there was- I don’t even want to think about that mess. I rinsed the lather out of my hair (I started taking a shower while boarded on this thought train) as I came to the rather depressing conclusion that I’ve never been in a serious and proper relationship with someone. I might have gone on a couple dates, but they must not have gone well, cause I don’t remember a single one. Suddenly, I felt very pathetic. Am I really that deprived of romance? I mean, I write (mostly) romance books for a living, it’s a given that I’ll be alone, but I didn’t think I’d be that sorry. I slapped myself in the face while putting on moisturizer. Just because no man has ever wanted to commit to being in a relationship with me or even take me out for lunch doesn’t mean I’m sorry and pathetic and unappealing and desperate and weird and annoying and sorry and just overall a bad catch. I mean, I’m going to lunch (dinner? Coffee?) with a super attractive guy today  (who also seems to have a good personality, that’s important of course!) A super attractive guy whose appearance I totally appropriated for my novel, and when I inevitably have to tell him about it, he won’t want to see me again for the rest of his life. I sigh, burying my face into my hands to hide from my reflection. What the hell. 

I flop onto my bed, deep conditioner in my hair. I’m wearing my specifically oversized shirt, the one I always wear when I’m deciding what to wear for an event. I love how comfortable it is (it also smells great because it just came out of the wash). It’s no use being sad about it now, right? I should properly tell Leon (the real one) what I did and then move on.The worst that could happen is he gets angry and stops me from publishing the book, reports me to the police for stalking and possible voyeurism and I get thrown in jail over something I didn’t (really) do. Even so, I’m still young. Maybe I could write a book about being in prison (people have done it before, I might become successful). For now, I’ll just take a nap until it’s time to rinse out my conditioner. 

It is way past the time to rinse out my conditioner.  My phone delightfully informs me that it’s 10 o'clock (in the morning of course). That’s not too bad.  I rinse the conditioner out of my hair, add leave-in, mouse, moisturizer, the whole shabang. I sigh (again). I don’t have the will to keep working on my book until I clear it with (the real) Leon. I couldn't help but feel helplessly ashamed. It was never a problem before, I would just steal a little bit of someone’s personality and write it into my book. I honestly didn’t do it that often either, so I was never really worried about having to talk to the people I used. It was way too early to start getting dressed, and I didn’t really have anything else on my schedule. I had three options: agonize over the inevitable until my time runs out, clean my house, OR agonize over the inevitable while cleaning the house (shut up about that painting. It’ll be done another time). I chose to kill two birds with one breakdown and began my quest of cleaning. The image of his disgusted face crosses my mind, immediately the living room is immaculate. I think about how I thought I was so smart for naming the character something ‘ComPleTely diFFereNT’ and all the laundry is folded. It’s like magic almost, how when I think about how much of a fool I’m going to make of myself tonight, my bedroom is the cleanest it’s been in months. Just like that, the clock strikes three. I should probably start getting dressed now. 

I tried on a black dress, too fancy, then a sweater and pants, too casual. Maybe I should wear a skirt? If I wore it with my sweater, I would end up looking like a schoolgirl, so I decided against it. Whilst rummaging in the depths of my closet, I found a fluffy cardigan that I’ve never worn. It even had the tag on it still. I ripped the tag off (carefully of course) and decided to throw it on over a black cotton slip dress and tennis shoes of the same color. I put on some mascara and a light brown eyeliner, adding a lip gloss with a darker brown tint. It was cute I guess. It matched my outfit. I think he liked my ponytail last time, so I made sure to have one today too, carefully brushing my bangs into place. As a finishing touch, I bore a rose gold chain with a simple pendant. It’s good, it’s pretty, and I like it. That clock also says that it’s four thirty. Oh my God, it’s four thirty. 

I had no idea how long it took to get to that cafe from my house (which is really an apartment, but I like to- we don’t have time for that spiel). Since I had only ever visited out of leisure, I never thought to check. I quickly typed the address of the place into my phone. Twenty minutes. It takes me ten minutes to get out the door, so I should make it just in time. I threw everything I thought I’d need into my purse. Lip gloss, wallet, keys, phone, pencil, pen, memo pad, if it was in my reach and it made a sliver of sense, it was put in the purse. I quickly locked the door behind me then checked the time on my phone. I’m right on schedule, so from here on out, I don’t have to worry. While walking to my doom, I felt more at ease than I had all day, like the feeling of finally getting to the firing range after weeks of the execution waitlist. Ater this, I’ll delete his number from my phone, never appear in that cafe again, and rewrite the entirety of my novel. I watched a bird deftly land on a tree branch nearby, a mourning dove, how pretty, and took the liberty to call it proof that I’m on the right track. With this newfound relief, I waltzed all the way to the door. Then the fear kicked back in. Even if you know you’re going to die, it’s still scary to face the firing range. Mustering up all the courage in my fallen and twisted stomach, I opened the door. Leon. He was here already, sitting patiently at a table (for two), facing the wall. Without checking who came in, he immediately stood and turned to beckon me over, a bit weird, but maybe he saw me before I opened the door. 

“I thought I was on time for once.” I try to calm myself by being funny (I’m not) as he pulls the chair for me to sit down (wow, gentleman alert (or maybe my standards are low)). 

“No, I'm just early. Military habit.” That tracked. I gathered all my resolve to not twirl my hair after I sat. I spent too much time on it. Instead, I just looked up and smiled. He even looks good from down here. He’s gotta be cheating somehow, that’s just not natural.

“So I guess you’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes?” He raised his eyebrows for a second, as if to communicate his answer. I guess I was right. At least something good came out of being raised in a military household (though the damage to my social skills is irreparable).

“I’ll order. Do you know what you want?” 

“Chicken panini and Chai latte, please.” I think I might have been a little too excited about the food, because he laughed at me. Not audibly or anything, but I could see it in his eyes. 

“Coming right up.”  He was suave in the way that a men’s soap model is.  It only dawned on me as he walked away, but the way Leon spoke was very smooth. It scrambled my brain. So much so that I had almost completely forgotten about the truth of this meeting, my (tentatively) first and last date. It’ll be painful for sure, but I have to set things straight. Right as I took in an exasperated sigh, a white porcelain plate was placed before me. With a chicken panini :) 

“Why the long face? Is it that horrible to be on a date with me?” His smile made me wish I could melt into a puddle. I watched him sit across from me and I knew I had to tell him. 

“No, it’s great actually. I don’t get out much. It’s not about you, I swear. Just… promise you won’t be too mad?” Even if I couldn’t melt into a puddle, my palms sure were trying to. I looked at him. He cocked his eyebrow at me while taking a sip of his coffee. He’s always drinking coffee.

“You’re scaring me, what is it?” Liar. He looked more amused than anything. It made me wonder if he was really as wholesome as he appeared when he asked for my number. Or maybe that was just my mind running off again.

“Okay. You see, I’m an author, and I’m in the process of writing a novel right now. A couple days ago I saw you at the cafe and- I was having a hard time figuring out one of the characters, okay? Well, I saw you, and I wrote the character to look like you and-” I heaved a sigh. This is the worst part. “I named him Leon. I- I really didn’t know! I just made sense with the theme and all. But then the next day you asked me out and you said that  y o u r  name was Leon, and that just made everything worse. I’m sorry, I’ll change it. I just thought it wasn’t right to start- whatever this is- without telling you.” I sighed, looking at him. He looked surprised, but not appalled, thank God. After a moment, he even laughed. A low rumbling thing that made me feel (somehow) even more embarrassed of myself. 

“You know, that’s one hell of a way to start a first date.” I laughed a little. Maybe he wouldn’t press any charges after all. 

“Yea, I know. I’ll pay you back for today. It’s totally understandable if you wanna leave.” I try not to make him any more uncomfortable than he probably already is. It only just occurred to me that he might just be good at hiding his emotions. 

“No, you don’t have to. It’s just- I don’t think I can top that. Here I was planning to butter you up with compliments, then you tell me you wrote a whole book about me? I mean, that’s something else.” I felt my shoulders relax a little. He took it as a compliment?

“You know, most people would think of that as a negative thing.” I couldn’t help but snicker a little. I even took a bite of my sandwich (panini). It was delicious, as always.

“There are things in the world that are much less pleasant than getting written about.” The way he says it makes me think that maybe he experienced one or two of those things, but now is not the time to pry.

The conversation actually went well, great even. We spoke about all sorts of things, family (he doesn't have any), food (his favorite is, get this, grilled cheese. What the hell.), hobbies (that he doesn’t have) and the like. He couldn’t speak about work (classified, he says), so instead I told him of all my creative endeavors, art, literature, music. He said it was good that I’m creative. I said it’s good that I survived it. He owns a motorcycle. Our banter continued and before we knew it, two hours had passed. 

“Is the sun setting already? What time is it?” I was in a daze. Spending time with him felt like I was intoxicated, everything was so warm and fuzzy that I could barely think anymore. I looked back at him. He seemed just as composed and sane as ever. He’s a secret agent after all, keeps his emotions in check. All I ever do is feel. 

“Seven. Do you wanna call it, or should we change locations?” I thought about it for a second. I want to spend more time with him. I mean, he’s cool and friendly, and he didn’t even flinch when I told him about the novel fiasco. 

“How about dinner? You can pick where.” I really just wanted the chance to ride his motorcycle, but let’s not talk about that too much.

“Didn’t you just eat? You wanna dry my wallet, huh?” He said that, but he was already helping me out of my chair and towards the door.

“A sandwich isn’t a meal, and I could pay if it’s really that much trouble.” I laughed. I didn’t know it before I met him, but Leon’s strange sense of humor is really right up my alley. 

“Now that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me, would it?” He opened the door for me. The cold night air made me glad that I wore this sweater. I turned to face him, the streetlights accenting his face in a way that’s probably outlawed in seventeen countries. The chill in the air makes me feel alive. This night was special, for a reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on at the time.

“So, take me away to this amazing restaurant then, Mr. Gentleman.” After my (genius) little quip, I do a spin to soak up the air. I don’t notice the way he looks at me. I don’t see how he’s staring like I’m the first human being he’s seen in months. All I see are the stars above us.

“It’s a pretty small place, but the food is to die for. I hope you’re okay with outdoor restaurants?” I stop and see his face again. His eyes look like pretty blue stars. 

“Long as the food’s worth.” Just as he’s about to lead me away, he makes a face like he forgot something, then turns to me.

“Are you okay with riding my bike there? It’s a little further than walking distance.” I give him a slight nod.

“We’ll see.” 

[icallhimjoey]

Okay I know I’m late again I’m so sorry, I’ve had multiple migraine attacks this week and looking at a screen for long periods of time was out of the question but I’m finally feeling better and can send this in!

I LOVE this chapter. It definitely wasn’t what I was expecting but it turned out to be so sweet and lovely and exactly what needed to happen. So lemme break it down:

Just, first things first, the fact that we feel safe enough to sleep in the same bed as Joe (a stranger), and then we’re able to fall back asleep after a nightmare that would otherwise derail our sleep?? That’s saying something.

(Also, the nightmare was very alarming and I’m hoping that if it’s reflecting real life that everything is okay ❤️)

The silence lingered a bit too long and Joe kept looking at you with his head leant back against the headboard, all half-lidded eyes, mouth in a weirdly charming half-smirk that made you grow self-conscious at a steady incline.

um, well that did things for me

Joe scanned your features, then nodded in understanding and said, “Okay,” before moving the covers aside for you to get into bed next to him.

he knew what we needed! Ugh, soft!Joey 🫠

Joe had latched onto your back, wrapped arms around and held you tightly. Squeezed the panic right out of you. Whispered right into your ear, soothing shushes followed by reassuring words of being safe, and it was just nightmares, was just thoughts in your mind, and it was just him.

Joe was still hugging and squeezing, had an arm tightly wrapped around your waist and, yea, you felt gross. Damp. Hot and sweaty and sticky and absolutely disgusting.

But you also felt protected. Cared for. All safe and shit.

“Don’t apologise,” Joe suddenly whispered and wasn't that exactly right. You absolutely were about to tell him you were sorry. Sorry for waking him. Sorry for being all wet. Sorry for being there to begin with.

But you were just told to not do that, and so instead brought a finger up to your mouth to bite at the skin there.

“Go back to sleep,”

You felt Joe press his forehead to the back of your neck. Felt how he rubbed his skin against yours like a cat would.

“Can’t, I never can,” you croaked, voice in pain for whatever reason, slightly muffled from the fingers at your mouth.

“Try,” Joe said sleepily as he used the hand that wasn’t holding your wrist to save your other one from being bit at without looking. Brought your hand down to your stomach where he held it in place.

I feel scolded and taken care of at the same time and it’s making me feel some type of way that I might need to examine…

(Also, that seamless transition from us as the narrator to Joe?? Amazing. So good. Chef’s kiss)

And we gotta talk about us lounging out in the sun with him, the physical touches, Joe taking care of us by way of ordering mocktails and moving our hand from our face to keep us from destroy our poor fingers, holding our hand, and just making us chill the fuck out. The people watching (literally one of my favorite things to do), when Joe kept us hydrated and fed and even fed us pineapple from his own fingers (!!!), what a perfect afternoon!

My heart kinda dropped when he pressed the button to our floor, BUT THEN WHEN HE DIDNT GET OFF THE LIFT ON HIS FLOOR, AND SMIRKED AT US IN THE REFLECTION, AND INTERLACED HIS FINGERS WITH OURS, ALL THE SMILING AND SILENT FLIRTING, AND HAND HOLDING UNTIL HE FOLLOWED US INTO OUR ROOM!!!

This next part is going to kill me, isn’t it??

I can’t wait.

girlie, are you ready ??????

[destinyc1020]

I will never understand why Z went public with JE. But was so secretive with T. Why go public with a rebound but not with love of your life?

Y'all need to let that go.

And I've said more than once on my blog that I don't think it was a conscious decision on her part to "go public". JE was the one who pulled her into a kiss.... probably to let the paps get whatever "shot" they needed so that they could stop being followed everywhere they went in NYC. 🤷🏾‍♀️

That's just my guess anyway.

He might have also been an opportunist cuz I'll never forget how more fans were talking and excited about Z and Timmy being spotted in a BB&B together in NYC than JE and Z being together lol. 😅 JE probably wanted ppl to know..."don't get it twisted, we're not JUST friends" lol 😆

Could there have been some petty in there as well? Maybe. If Tom broke things off with Z, then yea.... it could have been a way to kind of rebel. I've done some petty things in the past after a breakup myself ngl lol 😆 🙃

Those photos just looked waaaay too over-the-top to be "real" and genuine imo. Was she trying to play up how "happy" and "moved on" she was? Maybe? 🤷🏾‍♀️ They obviously knew they were being photographed, and there's NO way that dude is THAT funny lol 🤣 Especially when we've NEVER seen Tom and Z laughing like hyenas while walking out in public lol 😆 , and imo, Tom is hilarious.

To me, stuff that's over-the-top like that looks staged, forced, fake, and PR-ish (jmho 👀).

You don't need to prove smthg to others when it's a REAL relationship that you're actually happy and content in lol.

Also, keep in mind, JE was a rebound. I'm sure Z was having fun with him, but no way do I think she felt the same way about him as she did for Tom. No freakin' way. You tend to PROTECT and hold more sacred the rlshps that you really care about most and deeply. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Maybe he coaxed her, and she was like, fine, what's there to lose? I already broke up with the love of my life anyway.

[000recover]

12.31.23

today, i came to a realization (i do that a lot, these days!) about where some of my problems have been coming from.

so much of the shit i've gone through, from when i was really young to now, especially the things that have formed so much of the kind of person i am now, have been around my choice being taken away-- i've been left in a lot of places where my autonomy has been stripped or violated. and that's a scary thing! that's a terrifying thing, and it's also a thing that's happened enough times that i started letting myself believe that i didn't have a choice in anything happening to me anymore. everything became the fault of something else-- i couldn't help that i have a fucked up body, blame my parents. i can't help the fact that i react like this, blame my father figures, blah blah. i could go on for a while with how embedded in me this idea has become. i think it was part of how i justified still being affected by my trauma -- the idea that irreversible damage had been done to me that i could never come back from. and technically on a scientific level, that probably is true. i have a lot of the diagnoses and problems i do because of how severely it affected my brain and how i process stress.

my cool hippie therapy friend i met last year and i did a lot of work together on the idea of recognizing other people as human and therefore inherently deserving of love; and the one person i couldn't ever really find it in myself to apply it to was my father. which, in my defense, would be a really really hard thing; he did hurt me really profoundly as a very young person, and that creates so much deep hurt. and i knew he was a person-- but he'd caused so much harm to myself and the rest of my family, i considered him irredeemable.

i think another thing i really struggle with still is the idea that people are not their actions, and people can change if their actions do. maybe its because so many things happened when i was so young that i've developed this really one-sided, black and white picture of people. and yea, some things are kind of unforgiveable actions, including a lot of stuff i've gone through both as a child and as an adult. part of understanding who i am as a person is probably going to be figuring out what i feel comfortable forgiving, and what i don't. my father has said for a while that he's sober now and i haven't believed him once, i think partially because i understand now too how much addiction really fucks with what's okay to lie about. but knowing that he's a person, and i'm technically a person too, then that same logic i apply to him and other people i've hurt applies to me too, right?

maybe that's part of what scares me so much about being in trouble. if i've fucked up, if i've hurt someone, if i've caused damage, then that's totally permanent. why should i move on from that? that's who i am as a person, now. and i think this year especially, the stress and the shame and the hurt really started to get to me, and between everything going on in my own life, and being hurt by my ex cheating on me, and the things i might have done to contribute to that situation, i just stopped being willing to face it. i hid from the shame in substances and if i made another mistake, i'd just start drinking again. i'd apologize with my body, because all it's ever been to me is a tool, and then i'd get triggered and hate myself even more, and act out again or just skip straight to drinking over it. i justified hurting with more hurt. and yea, it kinda sucks of a lot of people to accept that apology, but that's not a reason for me to keep doing it over and over again.

so what's my solution, then? well, one step is being willing to actually be accountable for some of the dumb shit i've been up to, i guess, but that's hard when it still feels like me fucking up is death penalty worthy. so i guess the real first step, now that i've figured out where and what the wound is, is to stitch it up. therapy time! unpacking more of my irrational core beliefs! challenging them! understanding where and what my real values lie! and, as previously stated, probably figuring out which hurt in my life i'm ready to forgive and which i need to just acknowledge and move on from. maybe get some closure here and there. which, some of the deep hurt that still comes out is probably going to take a lot longer. i probably won't ever be totally done, especially with how wedged some of my illnesses have become in my brain folds. but that's part of life, i guess.

also with that is going to be accepting that some relationships can't or won't be repaired. which is tough, and has to come from me on some levels, too. that's going to be another thing to figure out. and with that is gonna be accountability too. and here's the real kicker; after that, i get to choose to be different. i kept thinking for so long that if i was really healed, i'd just be able to start doing things. i forget how long it takes to form or kick a habit, but it's probably a lot longer than i've been letting my impatient self have.

yea, i did get pretty shitty again for a while. i've been stuck in a bit of a loop the last few months especially, and this whole year has been rough on the progress i've made. i did a lot of things that remind me of stuff other addicts in my family have done. a lot of it was in response to hurt, but that doesn't justify what i've done. i've become so wrapped up in the person that people hurt that i haven't done any growing from it. i can be sorry for what i've done, but i won't change until i'm willing to move on from it. which means letting other people move on, too (is this what my friend meant by the difference between pain and suffering?)

i think maybe then i can start to have the life i've really wanted. i have a lot of ideas of where this is going to take me. but, more importantly, it's the new year! the best time to set real, tangible goals! so i'm going to make myself a list of resolutions and keep them here, somewhere really visible, for accountability. my friend is coming over tonight so i doubt i'll post again until tomorrow at the earliest. happy new year!

[thefoxtrot008]

Dialogue Prompts

Here is part 5 of the prompts! Again, we have more storyline creations, but apparently, we're jumping ship, when we have another idea. Anyone else do this? Even though, I generally don't categorize my prompts, this one is more of a fantasy prompt. Anyways, let's go!

"I thought your kind didn't exist." "Yea, you and everyone else."

"I did not come here to babysit!" "Then what did you come here for?"

"You worked for them? Yea, well now you work for me."

"I'm here to train you on everything you don't know." "What makes you think I don't know anything, huh?"

"Shut up and pick up the sword."

"He's going to eat you for lunch."

"Because it is your duty." "Well, fuck that!"

"You have a real chance at making things better than they are right now and you're refusing to take it!"

"You're not a child anymore."

"These are my brothers." "You bring someone like him here?"

"Didn't have much of a choice now did I?!"

"It's a very safe location, no one knows where it is. Except for us of course."

"If your'e going to talk the whole way there, I might just have to find a way to shut you up."

"Don't touch my horse."

"I'm glad to see you. Didn't think that you'd make it through the winter!" "Do you really have such little faith in me?"

"Take a drink."

"And what do they call you exactly?"

"You've gone soft."

"They are not ready for that!" "Don't interfere. Let them figure it out."

"What is the matter with you two?! He is not prepared for the trials!" "Whose fault is that?! If you would stop babying him, he'd get further in with his training!" "If we do it your way, he''ll be dead before he is crowned king!" "Do nothing, watch."

"Don't give me that cliche crap."

"Can you hand me my bag?"

"I'd like to re-register within the system, please."

"You can't make a scene. You're too good."

"Alright, alright. You've made your case, she is one the fourth floor."

"That is not a fair observation!" "And neither is your request!"

"Your butler wouldn't let me in."

"I have to do something big." "You don't have to do anything!"

"Oh dear. You don't know about the policy? The new policy?"

"What makes you think I can fit in that?!"

"You're engaged to the man, not me." "God, don't remind me."

"It would never work."

"Mmm... so close."

"That won't go over well."

"So, you're the brains of this operation. What do you suggest I do?"

"Go! I'll buy us sometime!"

"Yes, well, nobody seems to care about what I want!"

"We're... we're even now. Okay?!"

"More evaluating?! You do realize that I have a life right? I can't wait that long-" "A life that you abandoned, let's not forget. A life that you just started to pursue, only due to certain circumstances."

"I was wondering when I might see you again."

"Packing? Packing for what?!"

"I'm leaving first thing in the morning."

"Hide! In the closet!"

"Not by choice, remind you."

"Do you know who this is?"

"No, they can't do that! Not while I'm around."

"What do I need to do to get this cleared?"

"I'd like to make an appointment." "State your business here, sign and date on the bottom right here."

"isn't there a faster way to get this done?"

"Wait outside will you?"

_____________________________________________________________

And... that's it! This one is a bit shorter than the others... but that's okay though! Enjoy! :)

[squishlamb]

hi i made a huntlow playlist!! 💚💛 i might be updating this from time to time

genres: pop, indie pop, kpop

i am very insane about them & spent SO LONG curating this playlist. so here's my long ass breakdown of the songs cuz huge brainrot:

PART 1: the lone wolf (oh wait, feelings?)

MARINA – Oh No!

"Don't do love, don't do friends; I'm only after success. Don't need a relationship; I'll never soften my grip."

Hunter at the start of it all, the Golden Guard™️ who's knows what he wants: making a change for the better aka recruiting kids for the emperor's coven!

but ACTUALLY, he's slipping. sorta losing it and he kinda knows it: "If I fail, I'll fall apart... cause I feel like I'm the worst so I always act like I'm the best."

flor – heart

any sport in a storm!!!!

our boy makes friends! he learns teamwork and sportsmanship! he really does have heart and is letting his heart hold true <3 such a feel good song

"Don't wanna waste love, don't wanna hurt you" yeah that's about captain willow

ALSO the mention of wolves, OF COURSE: "And for so long, I've lived my life listening to the wolves looking for scraps to tear from me 'til I lose control. Can't take my heart no matter how your teeth sink and pull. Won't lose my heart"

Wallows – Scrawny

"Hate feeling like I'm not in control... I've been sleeping with the light on. I tend to freak myself out."

here we have the skrunkly going THROUGH it. like, about everything in life. he is so conflicted

"Will you come a little closer now and see that I'm a scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle?" yea he had a cool hairstyle fr

i also take this as he wanted to be closer w/ Willow + the other kids but he had to keep up that confident/independent golden guard front as a defense mechanism yk? And he rly believed he was nothing more than a Scrawny Mf With A Cool Hairstyle

twenty one pilots – Tear in My Heart

the 안녕하세요 (hello) at the beginning aww lol

"Sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you're alive and have a soul."

hunter questioning his grimwalker origins but at the same time his new hexside friends ARE his real living friends. his feelings and new friendships are proof that he's alive, and it's all thanks to Willow so he is especially drawn to her

leo. – despair

my guy realizing he feels Particularly different w/ Willow lmao. REAL different. confusing feelings. what's a hug??? affection???? wh??A???

"It's not romantic, I swear. It might be closer to despair." real

joan – nervous

really just another cute pining song i wanted to add in lol. but also it's Hunter becoming more aware of his feelings. not really denying it anymore; he KNOWS he gets nervous around Willow

“It’s not like me to bite my tongue and hold back” Hunter is well-spoken af BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL

The Happy Fits – So Alright, Cool, Whatever

"After you leave, I'll be so alright, it's true. It's not like I've got something grand to say to you."

Hunter's sloww acceptance of his feelings. he WANTS TO BE W WILLOW! YASSS

But also "I've got an effervescent glow if you'd show me all the dark parts of your mind." foreshadowing to FTF of course >:3

Will Joseph Cook ft. chloe moriondo – Be Around Me

ok finally we have some Hunter AND Willow POV. this song's like after they've been texting A LOT and they're so used to regularly talking with each other <3

also the iconic "OMG did you call me baby?" part is so huntlow, especially the "Cool" followed by the nervous chuckle omg. That’s what I call loser boy pining and girlboss flirting. But it's nothing too serious... YET.

The Cars – Just What I Needed

gotta put some 80s in here. I'm thinking this is them spending more casual time together in the human realm!

"I don't mind you hangin' out and talkin' in your sleep." After seeing Willow sleep in TTH, I hc that she sleeptalks lol

Blossoms – Oh No (I Think I'm In Love)

Wrapping up this first part of the playlist aka Hunter’s (generally) one-sided crush. Started with an Oh No and ending with another kind of Oh No.

"You and me, we're different as people... You've got blue skies in your head." Hunter def put Willow on a pedestal and saw her as this huge inspirational sunshine

"Home is where I'll be when you're standing beside me." Hunter finally feels at home with someone else--Willow!! (+ living with the rest of the hexsquad ofc)

PART 2: smitten

Troye Sivan, Jay Som – Trouble

it's giving a simultaneous hunter and willow POV. though i also take it as willow slowly falling for him :3

"Accidental lover, what'd you do with all my common sense? You came in undercover..." (any sport in a storm moment!!!!)

"I'm tired of livin' like I'm dyin' but now I can't find the silver linin' like before" Hunter fr

"I'm not one to need saving, but I guess I'll give it a try" Both of them fr

Jayme Dee – Tip Toes

Oh my god this song was in all the edits in 2014 or whatever lol

WILLOW POV! WILLOW POV!

“Boy, you came like a hurricane, knocked me down like a tidal wave. Didn’t see you comin’ so quick; look at you boy movin’ so slick” Literally Willow’s first impression of Hunter was this kid ZOOOOOMING

Mentions flying a lot = flyer derby duhhhh

Also tip toes cuz yeah HEIGHT DIFFERENCE slay

Carly Rae Jepsen – Sweetie

"I ran into you like a crash of thunder." Willow POV. anything thunder/lightning/electricity means Hunter and this is true

"You're not as lonely as you think you are... Anything you want boy, I can make it happen. We could fall in love and I could be your sweetie." Willow being the absolute girlboss she is while also reassuring Hunter

SEVENTEEN – Adore U (Eng trans)

First kpop song let’s go. One of the cutest songs to ever exist LIKE??? "So what I mean is, I want to know all of you" / "I adore you, enough to get dizzy, adore you!"

“You’re so pretty it’s selfish but your personality is so humble” Hunter @ Willow

“You can lean right here. You can cover your pain with me. Tell me your feelings.” BOTH

“Baby, you are my angel” First song that mentions angels, which is a big theme moving forward in the playlist! since they helped each other with their respective near-death experiences jgkldfjsg (ACTUAL DEATH for hunter)

BTS ft. Halsey – Boy With Luv (Eng trans)

So much fluff. 100% Hunter in the human realm, totally smitten and totally in love and he LOVES the feeling!!!!!

"Your every picture I wanna have under my pillow." Yesss all the polaroids hello!!!!

"...now I became a hero" Hunter's so mf giddy from Willow he's growing from his traumatic golden guard days and he really does love who he's becoming!!!

Ariana Grande, Mac Miller – The Way

Really sweet song I’m dying from the sugar at this point

FLOWERS. “I’m thinking ‘bout her every second, every hour. Do my singing in the shower like do she love me, do she love me not?”

“Be your lover, your friend, you’ll find it all in me. Stay by your side, I’ll never leave you … I got a bad boy, I must admit it.” yaaaassss hunter the "bad" boy lmaoooo

The Cab – Her Love Is My Religion

Ok HEAR ME OUT we all know Belos is some crazy puritan whom Hunter grew up to value. but now that he knows Belos is fucking insane, Hunter is finding faith in his loved ones instead which INCLUDES WILLOW BROOOOO

Sorta angel references!

Leanna Firestone - Smitten

“You snored and it was the most beautiful sound that I’d ever heard” Hunter @ Willow lmao

“You’re insecure about your crooked teeth but can I just say this, I’m kinda glad that you never got braces cuz I like your smile just the way it is” Willow @ Hunter HHHNNNNNGGGG

“I don’t know what I did or how I did it, but I did something right” Hunter fr

beabadoobee – Dance with Me

Everything so far has been high energy crushing but I imagine they had very chill cozy reflective moments too

IMAGINE WILLOW ASKING HUNTER TO DANCE AAAAWWWWWWWWWW THE CUTES

They’re just happy and forgetting about their troubles

Also a transition to slowwww it down into the next part

Part 3: losing and trusting

Ariana Grande – raindrops (an angel cried)

THE ANGST BEGINS…

"The day you left me, an angel cried." yeah remember how Hunter DIED in Willow's arms? yeah,

WILLOW IS THE ANGEL HERE OK

Melanie Martinez – Cry Baby

"Your heart's too big for your body, it's why it won't fit inside."

Willow ANGST time. Imagine seeing your close friend die in your arms and feeling like you're not allowed to cry cuz you're the strong one??

This opens up all the wounds of being bullied and she’s reminded of being a crybaby, losing her friends (esp Amity), and just feeling SO much. But she’s not ACTUALLY letting herself cry now. Especially after this bitch ass BOSCHA taunts Willow; Willow doesn’t want Boscha to have that power of truly hurting her

“You’ll just let them drown” Willow @ her past, bullies

“I just let them drown” Willow @ her own feelings and ultimately herself in her vines

Carly Rae Jepsen – Making the Most Of The Night

"Baby, I'm speeding and red lights, I'll run. What I got, you need it and I'll run to your side when your heart is bleeding... I know you've had a rough time but here I come to hijack you; I'll love you while making the most of the night"

Ok wtf this is literally Hunter when Willow was in her vines. Speedy boy

The only thing that doesn’t match is when Carly sings about “no more tears” but other than that this song is so huntlow

MUNA – I Know A Place

“I know a place we can go where everyone gonna lay down their weapon… Just give me trust and watch what’ll happen / Don’t you be afraid of love and affection”

In the playlist timeline, this would be Hunter reassuring Willow to trust him (and Gus) but it also works the other way around in general!!

Like this is so Willow @ Hunter: “It’s like you’re carrying all the weight of your past. I can feel the bruises, yellow, dark blue, and black. But baby, they’re bruises, only your body trying to keep you intact”

Vacation Manor – Thoughts in Progress

"Well, you can hold back the truth while never tellin' a lie. And I won't ever know the person that you're keepin' inside 'til you trust me with your thoughts in progress."

Hunter @ Willow !!! SOBBING

The “wasting our time” has a lil negative mood to it but honestly it DOES make sense considering Gus was suffocating in Willow’s vines LMAO

Maisie Peters – Take Care Of Yourself

THIS is the song that started this whole playlist

"The world won't fall if you're not holding it up... And you try, and you try, and you're trying but the burden is heavy and overgrown." WILLOW !!!????

"I hate how you talk to yourself. It's not weak if you need to be held. So cut off a little slack and roll all your cavalry back; my love, take care of yourself." 100% HUNTER @ WILLOW DURING FTF. am sobbing

Then the second verse is totally willow @ hunter: "You don't get a medal for the last one awake so rest your eyes and give your baggage to me." bro these two im gonna die

flor – restless soul

another sweet song of reassurance and self-care that totally works both ways within huntlow ;-; I take it as more Hunter POV just cuz of FTF.

"Come and lay down your restless soul. ...you're wearing out."

It also sounds uplifting and happy, so we're shifting from the heavier tunes!

Part 4: falling

Harry Styles – Golden

did i put this in because it's "golden"? yeah,

Willow POV, actually allowing herself to fall in love in a scary, vulnerable way. love is not just a lighthearted cute flirting, this shit is pretty serious!!

BUT Y’KNOW IT ALSO works the other way around. I'm so stuck on Willow POV just cuz the lyrics are "You're so golden" hahah

BTS Jimin – Serendipity (Eng trans)

one of my fav songs ever; so beautiful

continues on the theme of vulnerability in love, but also revolves around destiny. considering caleb x evelyn, huntlow is definitely references that fated universe stuff.

This song also has a theme of flowers and duh WILLOW

“Let me love you” Hunter really reaching out to Willow here this is WHAT HE WAS COMMUNICATING TO HER *muffled screaming*

Ariana Grande – pov

A continuation of that dreamy, romantic, vulnerable love vibe.

Huntlow both gotta work on their respective self-perceptions. but they totally love each other. their relationship emphasizes learning to trust and love YOURSELF outside of your strong persona and THAT…! YES!!!

"How you touch my soul from the outside? Permeate my ego and my pride" Willow @ Hunter

"I wanna love me the way that you love me, for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too. I’d love to see me from your point of view.”

Troye Sivan – Angel Baby

another romantic BANGER while also continuing the dreamy mood. Specifically emphasizes angels and living.

“I’ll tell you how I almost died while you’re bringing me back to life.” works both ways.

“I just wanna live in this moment forever cuz I’m afraid that living couldn’t get any better.” ok Hunter WANTING TO LIVE.!! I’M SO NORMAL

Ariana Grande – Intro

“I’ll give you all I have and nothing less, I promise.”

THE ULTIMATE DREAMY song. From Angel Baby to this, they’re talking about the heavens or ascending or some shit and THIS IS WHERE I think of Huntlow holding pinkies (PROMISING THEY MEAN A LOT TO EACH OTHER!!) at the end of FTF & ready to keep moving forward

“I want you with me on this road to the sky, we’ll be shining every night. I promise you, just me and you. Oh, I promise you.”

Part 5: fight for love

The Cab – Angel With A Shotgun

HUNTER IS THE ANGEL HERE

“Fighting ‘til the war’s won, I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back. I’ll throw away my faith babe, just to keep you safe.”

Hunter again throwing out Belos' puritan bs and fighting for his loved ones

If Belos does some shit to Willow I think Hunter will go into Avatar state lol. Either way Belos is gonna get his ASS BEATEN

The Script – Superheroes

“She’s got lions in her heart, a fire in her soul. He’s got a beast in his belly that’s so hard to control. Cuz they’ve taken too much hits, taking blow by blow. Now light a match, stand back, watch them explode.”

NO CUZ THESE TWO IN FULL COMBO COMBAT

Willow has already proven to the ones who hurt her that she is more than her weaknesses PLUS now embraces her emotions, but Hunter hasn’t totallyyy confronted Belos so when he WHOOPS BELOS’ ASS IT’S GONNA BE SO GOOD AND HEARTFUL—(I’m really on about this aren’t I)

Linking back to Song #2 (flor – heart)! Embracing your emotions rather than hating them!

A nice, feel-good, inspirational song to wrap up the war stuff. Also, they are still learning and will always be, they’re not suddenly emotional gurus saved by romantic love

This song was my shit in 2016 omg

Part 6: ease

NIKI – Plot Twist

Cute song, transitioning to the happy ending (I fucking hope so).

This section is them having the time to relax and pause and reflect on their relationship! Hunter was a plot twist in Willow’s life alright. But also the other way around ajkflsjgkla ilove them

“Who could’ve imagined… you?”

JVKE – this is what falling in love feels like

I think about Hunter ABSO FUCKIN LUTELY JOVIAL after everything is ok and he’s just!!! Wow! The sun! I love my gf!!! I’m happy!! eee!!!!!!!!!!

push baby – Wishing We Were More Than Friends

hunter again :3 more reflecting back

“I even told your friends the perfect phrase but they just laughed in my face” imagine hunter talking to like. Luz or gus about how to tell Willow he likes her but he’s just so CRINGE and they’re dying

“I’d sit and wait ‘til you came online, wasting hours of time, it’s fine.” Totally bro

NCT DREAM – Walk With You (Eng translation)

They’re talking about the snow crunch and it’s winter THEREFORE HUNTLOW

Everything’s settled on the Boiling Isles and the two are meeting up for a date!! Dawwww

Lostboycrow, AVIV – Strawberry Sunscreen

Happyyyyy ass song. Huntlow being happy together UGH!

“She’ll paint a cabinet from the 60s and find diamonds when she’s thrifting” Idk this gives me Willow vibes :)

Deniece Williams – Let’s Hear It For The Boy

Basically Hunter’s a loser but Willow loves him soso much LOL

Rex Orange County ft. Benny Sings – Loving Is Easy

Dreamy ass romantic song

“I was all on my own, almost glad to be alone until love came in on time” Hunter fr

Taylor Swift – Daylight

Oh my god y’all this is Hunter wanting to live part 4893248

“There are so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” / “I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked” Golden Guard days??

“Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now, it’s brighter now” Golden Guard days OVER!!

“I once believed love would be black and white but it’s golden” YALL.???!!!

OK AND. THE OUTRO… “I wanna be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate. Not the things that I’m afraid of, I’m afraid of… Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I, I just think that you are what you love.”

MY BOY IS HEALING!!!! AHHHHH AND WHO DOES HUNTER LOVE???? ..........

The 1975 – I’m In Love With You

"It's simple and it goes like this," HE LOVES WILLOW GOD DAMN ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

AND SHE'S IN LOVE WITH HIM TOO BYE

THAT’S ALL OK TIME TO CRY!!

I also have a raeda playlist and a lumity playlist!!! Idk if I'll do writeups for them cuz this one took SO long but we'll see ;)

[pynkhues]

Idk if you’re still answering questions about your c&c fic but im just really interested with Rio and Kenny’s relationship, like are they close? does kenny has some sort of resentment against rio bcs of dean?? does kenny sees rio as a father figure or does rio sees kenny as his son and the other boland kids as well?? And if so, what happened? Like what was the moment that made kenny look at rio as not just his moms bf but also a part of his family?? What was the boland kids reaction once they realized that rio might be a permanent fixture in their lives? It’s just something that I think about a lot, because i think among the boland kids, it would be kenny that’s going to be the hardest to win over because (im assuming that) he looks up to dean.

Im sorry if im asking a lot of question lol, you don’t need to answer all of it (or any of it) I was just curious. Thank you!

Hey! Yeah, I'm always answering questions about C&C, even if they take me a while to get to (like this one, sorry! Life's been wild).

I do think Rio and Kenny grow close in that universe. I definitely think theirs is one of the more complicated relationships in the family, in no small part because of him being the eldest and being twelve when Beth and Rio get together (which is a difficult age in general!), but also because I tend to write Dean as favouring Kenny as an eldest son and the child he feels like he 'gets'.

I write Dean as not entirely knowing what to do with daughters, and struggling with Danny who's a little shy, afraid of soccer balls, and artistic as opposed to Kenny who does all the things Dean understands. He plays sports and video games, he's not all that academic, he mucks around and likes pranks and roughhousing, and while I haven't written that much of when the kids are teenagers and young adults in that 'verse, I do in my head have it that Kenny's a pretty good kid who's popular at school and only really causes trouble for them in the way all teenagers cause trouble for their parents (Danny's the one I like to headcanon throws them the curveballs, haha).

I do kinda like this sense though that Kenny actually becomes fairly emotionally intelligent in the process of navigating those years between Dean, Beth and Rio? I think he takes being the eldest child seriously, and I like the idea that he sort of understands that his dad didn't treat his mum well, even if he can't quite articulate it (hell, it's what the whole first fic in the series was about!) and while I think he's cautious around Rio, I also think he likes him.

Rio's a cool guy! He's sharp and funny and athletic, and while I definitely think Kenny feels the brunt of Dean's resentment of Rio outside of Beth, I think for him it's internalised in the way we saw on the show with the binge eating and him withdrawing. He feels guilty for liking Rio, and for the relationship that he starts to build with him, as opposed to taking it out on him, and so it seeps out when he's young in episodes of behaviour that Beth and Rio have to address together.

In a lot of ways though too, I think Kenny being slightly older means that he has this benefit of really remembering how bad things were with his parents and feeling the shift with Beth and Rio. I think it's a happier house, and that Kenny responds to that, and in some ways it's harder for the littler kids to figure out their relationships with Dean and Rio because they don't have the context that Kenny does. It's both more and less complicated for him in so many ways, and I think Kenny takes Dean's step back from the family as the kids get older the hardest, and maybe does briefly blame Rio for that, but I think he also is the one who really steps up and becomes really close to Rio as he becomes an adult (in particular there's an incident that happens which I alluded to in a fic where Rio's seriously injured when the kids are all a bit older, and I think Kenny sort of came of age in a way that marks a real shift in the family dynamics).

So yeah! I think it's complicated and there's definitely teething problems, but I also think they connect on a lot of levels that give them a really strong foundation for their relationship.