#but yea just look at my pretty lady's face in a lighter setting

[moonhze]

[zankivich]

An Unexpected Romance: Chris Evans x Black! Female Reader Part 1

a/n: *sticks head out* omg hi. It’s been a while. A long while. Somehow I am back writing for another white man, a different one this time. We can only hope he does not disappoint as drastically as the last one does. I genuinely have no idea if this is good? I think it’s kinda cute, and I’ve been feeling very traumatized in regards to blackness lately so I really needed some black and brown women having a good time and being happy. We deserve that tbh. There could obvi be another part to this. Let me know if anyone even cares enough for that lol. Okay bye now. 

Part 2 Part 3

There’s an unspoken rule amongst you and your friends. Like a secret code, if you will. If a man hits on you at the bar and you’re not interested, and friends always know when you’re not interested, swarm and diffuse the situation. But? If a man hits on you at the bar and you are interested? Then that is a different story entirely.

It was a Thursday night out with the girls. You were at your favorite bar. It was quiet and quaint but still modern enough to attract a younger crowd. Sometimes there’s nothing better than getting dressed up and sipping on drinks with your girls. No dancing or club hopping or excessive uber rides. Just one bar, shit talk, and a lot of bacardi.

You were all sat directly at the bar in high standing chairs, Your back was turned to the entrance as you listened intently to your friend Tanya complain about her latest Hinge hook up.

“Can you believe I took my fine ass self all the way over to that nigga’s house in satin shorts? Satin! And he had a pizza box on his bedside table and the second he laid me down my back hit a bong. Make it make sense Jesus.”

Tanya was a beautiful Black woman. She was taller than all of you at six feet, and she strutted every step. Her skin was deep espresso and she was almost always rocking a vibrant colored wig that matched a vibrant colored outfit. Tonight’s color was lavender.

“I don’t know how many times we have to tell ya ass to stay away from them white boys.” You snorted, sticking your tongue out in search of your straw.

Your friends, Tanya, Raya, and Jesse all did a collective eye roll in your direction that did not go unnoticed.

“Yes ladies?” You asked with a straightened spine and arched brow.

Jesse was one of them girls you would have hated in high school. Skinny waist, slim thick thighs, and skin so clear that her Puertio Rican skin was only left to dazzle and shine. She had long, tight curls that hung all the way down to her belly button, and she always kept them gelled down and tied back. She, like all of your friends, did not hold back when it came to the group. You were honest, thick as thieves, and frankly a little brutal.

“You don’t even count. Your refusal to go near a white man is excessive and weird.” She cackled. “You're just as bad as Tanya, just on the other end of the spectrum sis.”

“Excuse me? Now Tanya dates boys...I date men. You see the difference? And if I am gone lie in some ivory sheets there’s gonna have to be some extra special attention being paid to me. And trust, there always is.”

You stuck your tongue out lewdly and laughed sending the whole table into a fit of giggles. You all clinked your glasses together and revelled in the atmosphere of melanin, acceptance, and tomfoolery. What a group.

“You tellin’ me that if a fine ass man walked in here right now and checked every box: his own money, his own car, intelligent, funny, etcetera,  and he just happened to be of the vanilla variety you wouldn’t bite?” Raya asked.

Raya was the thickest of the group, voluptuous in every sense of the word and also the only one happily married. She just put up with y’all honestly.

You rolled your eyes through with the conversation already.

“I’m saying...he’d have to be pretty fucking special and pretty fucking dedicated. Men are a headache as it is. I don’t need the added layer of some man pulling at my weave like I’m Lilly Ane from his hometown,  or asking me to do race play in the bedroom. Now I’m going to the bathroom and when I come back I’d like for us to talk about literally anything else? Okay? Okay.”

You slid out of your seat and headed for the bathroom with the grace and power of a woman in her thirties who had managed the insecurities of her younger self and had decided to only live her life revelling in her own excellence.

If Tayna was the darkest of the group you weren't at all far behind. If she was expresso, you were simply an americano with a dash of cream. And you rocked it with a full head of curls that ranged from nappy to bursting with life and moisture depending on both the day and temperature. It was all set upon the shoulders of a woman with curves and hips and chest. It was your body and you loved it endlessly, a matter quite evident in the way you walked.

That night you were wearing a coral pink jumpsuit with a long, flowy kimono and heels to match. Your kimono billowed behind you and made you feel fierce, even on the walk to the bathroom, which is perhaps why you weren’t paying that much attention. One second you’re strutting in the heels that you only wore when there wouldn’t be too much standing, and the next you’re slipping on some liquid that must have been spilt on the floor. Your whole life flashed before your eyes. The wind flew out of your lungs. This was the end…

And then you were caught by the waist. Not caught, more like gripped. Firmly. And perhaps not the waist so much as the hips. You expected to be lying straight on the floor staring up at the ceiling, and instead you were staring at a chest. A firm chest. No not firm. Chiseled might be a better description. So chiseled that your hands began to wander amongst the suit clad flesh before your mind had caught up with you. Heafer.

“Oh my god. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I can’t believe I--”

You peered up into deep blue eyes and let’s not forget that your fingers were still wandering along that chest. Had a chest ever been so broad? No. Not unless you count Captain America apparently.

“Please, I always like to pull a rescue mission before dinner. Makes me feel like I earned my meal.” He grinned down at you.

Chris Evans. What are even the statistical chances? You wouldn’t know, you were too busy drooling.

His hands were still on your hips. Yours still on his chest. And now you were just plain staring at him. Good look.

A waiter with a towel to clean up the mess broke up the moment by clearing their throat and alerting the two of you that you were way too close to one another still.

“Oh--Oh.” You mumbled idiotically. “You’re…”

He nodded. “Chris. And you are?”

“I’m...I’m…”

The waiter snickered under their breath and you realized just how much you were ruining this moment. You straightened your spine and tried to act like you had some sort of sense.

“I’m y/n. Thank you again for the save. I was actually just on my way to the bathroom so I’ll uh let you get back to your night and try not to fall on you again.” You smiled.

“Yea, we definitely wouldn’t want that would we?” He asked.

But the way his face was looking told you maybe he might not mind it after all. Sheesh.

“Okay well uh you have a nice night, Chris.”

You tapped at his hands on your hips and he quickly stumbled back with an apology. It was the first time he looked even the slightest bit flustered in your interaction with him. You found that you liked it.

“You have a nice night too, y/n.”

You smiled at him one final time before walking to the bathroom as you had intended. But he didn't leave your mind the entire time you were there. And not just because it was Chris Evans, it didn’t feel fair to call it star struck. That was too simple, too miniscule.  Instead it was the way his hands had felt on your hips. You had the tendency to lean away from men, didn’t feel comfortable with them when you didn't know who they were. And yet there you had stood, completely at ease in his hold. You couldn’t explain it even to yourself. He had just felt right.

“Of course he felt right, he’s practically a figment of your imagination.” You mumbled to yourself at the sinks.

That was it. He didn’t even count. The only time you ever saw him was on your netflix account, so surely your perception was warped. The reality was that Chris Evans was just another white man who looked good in a sweater. The end.

That’s what you convinced yourself as you walked back to your friend, but not without taking extra precautions against the floor. By the time you arrived back at your table you had done the mental gymnastics needed to completely eliminate him from your system. Good girl.

“Now, I trust you all found something better to talk about while I was away.” You grinned as you slid back into the table.

All of your friends were snickering behind their hands and they wasted no time at all laughing at you.

“Oh did we!” Jesse laughed. “You see we had just moved on to a new topic when a little someone got a drink delivered to the table.”

Your eyes widened as Jesse pushed a glass of what looked like processo closer your way. She then pointed over by the bar leading the entire table to turn that way. Seated by his seat with his arms leaning against the bar, shoulders even broader against the wood, was none other than Chris Evans himself. As if on a Hollywood cue he turned to look at you with a smile that was both innocent and filthy at the same time. He lifted a drink of his own in the air and tilted it in your direction in silent cheers. If you had been ten shades lighter you’da blushed like a schoolgirl. It was ridiculous.

“Now...What was that you were saying about white boys sis?” Tanya asked.

You groaned to yourself softly and plopped your head down in your hands in embarrassment. This was only to notice that your sparkling glass of prosecco was perched upon a napkin with his phone number written upon it. Home boy was slick and he was bold. A man confident enough to come put himself out there, and respectful enough to do it in a way that wasn’t disruptive or rude to your friends nor yourself. It was the sort of thing that made you take notice for sure, which explained why your girlfriends were looking at you like cats that had just discovered the canary.

“What? What?! What?” You gasped at the table, clearly annoyed.

Jesse grinned. “What’chu mean ‘what’, mija! You gone get your mans or what?”

They all giggled and looked clearly in his direction, only embarrassing you further.

“Stop it!” You hissed. “He is not ‘my mans’ by any stretch of the imagination. He probably just feels bad for me slipping. I fell and he caught me. Clearly he’s a gentleman, which is nice but that don’t mean nothin.”

“Girl please! This man done sent you prosecco and a phone number. That’s like a rich modern version of a love letter. You better go talk to that man.” Raya snorted.

Women who hype up other women are the world’s greatest treasure. You loved your friends with everything in you, and you valued all of their intellects greatly. However, this was not a regular-degular man. This was literally a superhero. You had confidence for days, but this was simply a different stratosphere. You were just about to silence your friends again when a ghost must have descended because everyone else began to gasp.

“Girl he movin’. Captain America is comin in for the landing.” Raya stage-whispered.

“Oooo you know what? Suddenly I have to pee.” Tanya mumbled.

“Oh me too!” Jesse nodded.

And just like that….your table was empty. The audacity!

“Wow. I sure can clear a room huh?” He chuckled, stepping up beside you. “I hope I don’t offend too much.”

You sighed turning to face him head on.

“You certainly do not offend. In fact, I think my friends are around some corner cackling like the witches they are. They just wanted to give you space to shoot your shot.”

He smiled with a raised eyebrow. “My shot, huh? I better not fuck it up them.”

You shrugged, eyes raking gently over him. Beyond the obvious attraction, it was important for you to search for any warning signs. His body language was good. He had one hand draped over the back of your chair, but he stood two steps back from the table so that he wasn’t over-crowding your space. He seemed to be aware of himself physically, an important marker in your estimation. He was playful enough, but also clearly interested if he’d decided to come up to the table after all that. This did not bode well for you at all. The man was kinda nice.

“I just wanted to see if you were enjoying your drink is all.”

Your fingers flitted with the glass before pulling it to your lips for a sip. The way his eyes seemed to follow the motion had a heat pooling in your gut.

“I do enjoy a good prosecco.” You nodded. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure. I didn’t want to be too forward but uh--I think you’re stunning and  I was wondering if I could take you out sometime.” He murmured.

Your legs were crossed in your seat, and you bobbed your leg a little, anxiety coursing through you.

“Were you afraid the number on the napkin was too subtle?”

He chuckled softly, eyes falling to the ground in an almost...embarrassed fashion? Lord, please.

“Sorry, I tend to second guess myself. I never know how people are gonna take me with my line of work. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to set up a one night stand or something. Wanted to show you I’m genuinely interested.”

Well that was unnervingly wholesome. Where they get this man from?

You let a small grin form across your mouth, a metaphorical step forward closer to his very inviting energy.

“Well, I do like the sound of stunning.”

“Yea? I think I could say some other stuff you’d like too if you give me a chance. What do you say?”

He licked the edge of his lip and it really was so miniscule but it had your thighs tightening in a way that was unholy. Rude.

You couldn’t say yes just off principle. Ten minutes ago you had just shamed all your friends for their white proclivities and the first one that walks off the street and bats his eyelashes at you causes you to cave? The hypocrisy! But...he was fine. Like capital “F” fine. Fwine with a “w”, fine. And it’s not like he was going to take you home to pizza boxes and lost bongs and then hit you up for gas money later. He was more set in his life than you were. Him being rich wasn’t even for you to utilize; it just felt good to know that he was accomplished and secure for himself. Again you dated men...not boys. And yet still you found yourself in such a conundrum.

“You look hesitant.” He noted, eyes locking onto yours.

You nodded. “I am...Excuse my bluntness but I had just gotten done explaining to my friends that dating white men often comes with more hassle than good. It can be difficult to connect cross-culturally. And quite frankly y’all are usually racist and/or fetishists. I’m not looking to upset your mama, nor am I looking to play slave master in the bedroom.”

Honestly the little speech was usually enough to send weaker men running. You say the r-word to a white man when you’re a black woman and he either calls you the n-word or gets upset and walks away. That had been your experience thus far. Not always, but enough to set precedence. The fact that he bothered to stay at the table further already separates himself from the pack.

“I can understand where you’re coming from.” He nodded, and a crease formed subtly between his eyebrows. “Not that I could ever really understand, just that I understand your hesitancy towards me. And I understand that it’s more complicated for you than it is for me. I really wish it wasn’t that way, but obviously that isn’t exactly something you and I can fix together in this very moment.”

You steadied for yourself for his next words, sure that he was about to leave you with, “have a nice life, I’ve got a spandex fitting in the morning.” There was a feeling in your tummy that felt out of place. You noted absently that it was a flutter of disappointment. And then he kept speaking.

“I don’t want to change your opinions on all white guys. I’d be willing to wager that most of us suck, and you probably should definitely steer clear.”

This caused you to snicker a little bit, a smile coming back to your face. He practically beamed in response, teeth coming together in a megawatt smile.

“However, I’d truly hate to never see that smile again.” He groaned and layed a firm hand against his own chest. “I don’t wanna change your mind about all of us...but maybe I can change your mind about me. I don’t want to feshitize you, I don’t want some weird power play between us. I don’t wanna do anything that would hurt you or make you uncomfortable. I just wanna take a really beautiful woman out if I could, if you’ll have me? Please? And if not, I take no as my answer and I walk away a little wounded, and you’ll still be here, stunning as always.”

Ooof. Boy was good. Real good.

You twisted your lips together and eyed him another time as if you were seeing each other for the very first time. Seemingly good guy. Persistent, not demanding. Willing to have conversations about race? Biceps the size of your head. Damn it was like the devil had crafted him especially for you.

“You know I think my friends have been spying long enough. I should probably meet up with them.” You mumbled.

You reached for the check in front of you adding your tip to your total and squaring out your tab. The way his eyes raked over you did not go unnoticed, unfelt. With the check closed and on the table you reached for one of the cocktail napkins on the table, pen still in hand, and wrote a note of your own. Sliding from your seat, you reached for the prosecco and downed the fizzy beverage before pressing the napkin to his chest with your nail. There was confusion, and perhaps a bit of hurt, in his baby blue eyes. This was gonna be some real trouble for you.

His palm came to rest over yours, trapping your fingers against his chest. There was a warmth there that seemed to leave your fingertips tingling. Definitely trouble.

“You have a nice night Chris.” You grinned.

His hand fell away from yours at the slightest movement on your part. He stood there, seemingly shell shocked, as you reached for your purse and his cocktail napkin. You almost thought he was going to let you get away as you went to step around him, only for his palm to grab gently at your hip.

“Good night y/n.” He whispered and reached to kiss chastly at your cheek.

The warmth of him was more intoxicating up close. He radiated heat like he radiated pheromones. And the smell of him was absolutely ridiculous as well. Was that gucci? Dior maybe?

It was a miracle you made it around the corner.

As to be expected, your awful ass group of friends were all standing by the hostess booth peaking around at you like a couple of dumbasses. They were lucky you loved em. You had an exit to execute though, and for that at least, they were useful.

You resumed your power walk, matched with clicking heels and a teasing pop of your hips, towards them.

“Is he watching?” You asked quietly.

They all nodded in various levels of incredulousness.

“Good. Let’s go.”

And then you walked your ass out that bar only to collapse the first second you cleared the doors. Your girls descended the way only women do, like fucking superheros of their own, and helped you float back to the car.

“Girl if you don’t start spilling A-S-A-P I swear fo’ God!” Raya gasped hands shaking on the steering wheel.

“What happened what happened what happened?!” Jesse screeched.

Your head nestled against the headrest of the car, your breathing having gone unsteady by the little game you’d just played.

“I think I just told him he can take my black ass on a date.” You mumbled in shock.

The tension in the car hit an all time high as everyone went silent...And then they all bursted out laughing as if you’d mentioned the funniest joke in the damn world.

“I KNEW IT BITCH!” Tayna screamed. “OOOOOOO BITCH I KNEW IT!”

“She finna be down with the swirl tonight, y’all!” Raya cackled.  

“In the category of white boys y/n will fuck with, this one has a networth of millions and the highest grossing movie of all time.” Jesse spoke in her best game host voice.

“I’ll take Captain America for six hundred, Alex!” Tayna snickered.

And they all continued to laugh.

“I gotta get some new friends.”

TBC?

[whatisthiswritingthing]

Observation Skills - Part Two Lindsey Horan x Reader

Lindsey is really starting to like her new gym. 

Lindsey was anxious the entire drive to the gym the next morning. She was eager to see the other blonde, but also incredibly nervous at the prospect of speaking with her like her and Sonnett had talked about the day before.

Once she arrived at the gym, she sat in the car for a couple minutes to settler herself. Talking a deep breath, she walked in to see Sara setting up weight on one of the squats racks, headphones in, head bobbing to the song playing. Lindsey paused and watched for a second, Sara lifted her head, making eye contact. The midfielder blushed at being caught, giving the blonde trainer a shy smile and wave. To which Sara returned before going back to her own workout.

‘Hey Linds, ready?” Sean asked as he approached her.

“You bet,�� the blonde replied as the two made their way to the turf to begin warming up.

Lindsey glanced toward the other blonde, again just as Sara lifted her head, making eye contact. Anxious at being caught looking, Lindsey quickly looked away.

The workout seemed to drag on that morning. Somehow Lindsey felt both completely focused and utterly distracted; focused because she wanted to impressed Sara, but so distracted by the physical strength she displayed. Every time Lindsey glanced towards the blonde, she was mesmerized by the strain of her shirt as her muscled flexed against it.

“You remember I’m gone the rest of this week, right?” Sean asked, bringing Lindsey out of her focus on Sara. “I talked to Sara, she’s here, said she’s left her mornings clear and is cool to train you if you want.”

“Oh yea, I totally forgot. I am good with whatever,” Lindsey replied, panicking at the thought of training with the woman she had a newfound interest in. The opportunity to spend time with her excited Lindsey, but the thought of potentially exploring these unexpected feelings.

“Sounds good, let me know and I’ll give Sara a heads up. Great work today, good luck with blondie If you decide to train with her,” Sean winked as they walked to the front of the gym, “Sara is great to train with, seriously, you guys will get along great.”

“Yea, she seems pretty cool, I’ll think about it,” Lindsey replied, scanning the gym for one last glance of the other blonde.

With a wave, Lindsey walked out the gym, immediately pulling her phone out to phone Emily.

“What’s up lady killer?” Emily picked up on the first ring.

“I immediately regret calling you,” Lindsey replied with an eye roll, but instantly feeling her anxiety lessen.

“Don’t leave me hanging Linessi! How did it go? Did you talk to her? Get her number?” Sonnett started rattling off questions.

“Slow down Disanni! I don’t know how it went, good I think, I might train with her the rest of the week. I didn’t talk to her, but I smiled and waved, that must count for something. I’m still too nervous to do more than wave at her, so no, I definitely didn’t get her number,” Lindsey replied, rolling her eyes at herself.

She was an adult, she wasn’t in high school, she did not have crushes. Right?

“How do you not know if you’re training with her? This is perfect! You will have an entire hour of her full attention! An hour of potential flirting!” Emily exclaimed, exasperated.

Emily had a point. Lindsey would finally have the chance to do more than just smile and wave from across the gym. Maybe she would finally be able to figure out what this sudden infatuation with Sara was.

“I hate to say it Sonny, but you have a point,” Lindsey replied with a sigh.

“Of course I am right Linds! I would never lead you astray!” Sonnett commented with mirth in her tone, “seriously though, I would never encourage you to anything that could hurt you. There is no harm in just training with her for a couple days. Worst that happens you guys don’t get along and never train together again. Best case scenario, you hit it off and we start bridesmaid dress shopping,” the exuberant blonde finished in a caring tone.

Lindsey pulled into her spot at her condo, shifted her car into park, and leaned her head against the steering wheel with a groan, “why is this so hard?”

“This isn’t hard Lindsey,” Emily chastised, Lindsey could hear the eye roll through the phone, “You are going to stop over thinking this. You are going to train with her like you have with several other trainers. You are going to talk to her like you have hundreds of other people. Stop being a dramatic high school cliché.”

Lindsey stayed quiet for a second to consider what Sonnett said. She was being dramatic; she had met this woman officially two days ago. There was no reason to be this worked up.

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“You love me. Now, get the fuck out of your head, tell them you’ll train with her tomorrow. This chick would be crazy not to be interested in you Linds. I’m just getting to my training but let me know how it goes tomorrow or if you need more stellar Emily Sonnett advice.”

“Thanks Sonny, I appreciate the pep talk. I’ll talk to you later.”

Lindsey made her way out of the car and into her condo, texting Sean she would be interested in training with blonde trainer if the option was still available.

Sean immediately replied confirming it was and that he would let Sara know, quickly followed up a second message including the contact information of said blonde trainer and the caption “in case you need it”. Shooting Lindseys anxiety right back up.  What the fuck was she supposed to do with that?

Sending a quick thanks to back to Sean, Lindsey flopped on the couch with a groan. So much for not overthinking.

Much Like the morning before, Lindsey drove to the gym jittery with anxiety. She had no idea what to expect from working out with the blonde trainer.

She took a deep breath before making her way into the gym, quickly spotting Sara laying on the turf stretching, a large white and brown spread out next her.

Lindsey slowly made her way towards her, willing herself to not trip or make a fool of herself before the workout even began. The dog shifting to standing up as she got closer, Sara stood with the dog, rubbing her hand along its side.

“Morning Lindsey!” Sara began, far too awake for how early it was, “so, Sean gave me your program, looks good, we have some lighter lifts today and then some cardio. We’ll get started with the warmup; you can do whatever you want. I’m going to put this guy in my office, and I’ll be right back.”

Lindsey stopped her before she gets anywhere with the large dog, thankful for a possible buffer. But also cursing the universe for somehow making this gorgeous blonde, somehow more attractive.

“I love dogs! He’s more than welcome to stay out here with us if you want.”

“You sure?” Sara confirmed, “he super chill and will just follow us around anyway.”

“Absolutely!” Lindsey said, as she bent down to greet the dog, raising her hand for him to smell.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Sara confirmed one more time, at getting a nod from Lindsey, “well in that case, Lindsey meet Blaze, Blaze meet Lindsey.”

At that, the large husky sat back down and gently raised his paw to shake.

“Such a gentleman!”

Lindsey chuckled, surprised, but took the offered paw. Giving it two shakes before putting it down and petting the dogs head. Why was she not surprised the the dog shook upon meeting new people? Somehow, that just felt like it matched the blonde.

“Of course! I didn’t raise an unruly little whippersnapper,” Sara said with a giggle, rubbing the dogs sides, “right bub, you’re a good boy.”

“Unruly little whippersnapper? Are you 100?” Lindsey joked with a grin, watching the blonde play with the dog, “and there is nothing little about Blaze.”

“You mock, but you forget who is deciding what we do today,” Sara joked back, pointing at Lindsey.

And with that, the midfielder felt completely at ease around the trainer.

That was how the whole workout went, easy banter and conversation flowing effortlessly. Sara offering advice and assisting Lindsey through the session, always confirming it was alright to touch her beforehand. The large husky always trailing behind, close, but never in the way.

Before Lindsey knew it, they were done and back on the turf stretching, conversation still going, both women with smiles on their faces.

“Great work today Lindsey. I’ve got to go put Blaze in my office before my next client, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sara trailed off with the question, seeming unsure.

“Absolutely!” Lindsey reassured, “Sean gave me your number, so I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

“Sounds good, don’t be afraid to use that number anyway,” the blonde said with a smirk and a wink, beginning to walk away, Blaze following.

Lindsey immediately pulled her phone out while she finished stretching and texting Emily.

Linessi: It’s official, I am 13 again with a stupid crush

Disanni: So it went well?!

           Tell me everything!

Linessi: Ugh so well! It was great!!

Lindsey’s phone immediately began to ring, which she quickly ignored in order to talk to Emily in the safety of her car.

Rushing out of the gym, Lindsey gave the other blonde one last smile and wave, feeling much less awkward about it than the say before.

[owlheartt]

Hey guys guess what I finally rewrote the ending so it’s happier!! I like the new ending much more. New story title, btw: The Tunnel

yes shit name I know but I just want to stop calling it “Brian, Jack, Tea, and *unnamed narrator*”

In an alley in the middle of town, there’s a tunnel. It’s deep and dark and no one goes down it. It’s haunted and erie, and it’s a good place to hide as long as you don’t go too far in. But everyone has heard the warnings. And everyone heeds them. Because countless kids have gone in and never come out. The adults don’t talk about it. They don’t even seem to know. It’s like the second you turn 18, it’s erased from your memory. I’ve tried to talk to my brother about it, but he just looks at me funny. We went down there together once, a few years ago. We didn’t get more than 10 feet in before chickening out and running back. But then he went off to college, and when he returned he had forgotten. I’m turning 18 soon, tomorrow, actually, and it won’t stop bothering me. I brought it up with my friends a week ago. 

“What if I forget the tunnel?” I asked.

“You’re still bugged about that?” Brian said. He always teased me for being so spooked about it.

“It’s not like remembering it does you any good,” Tea said. They changed their name when they were 16, and their parents still don’t know.

“It doesn’t make sense. Why would the tunnel suddenly not be there anymore?” I asked them.

“I wonder what happens if you turn 18 in the tunnel,” Jack wondered aloud. He doesn’t speak much, so his every word is important.

“Maybe we should find out.” Tea said after a pause. Adventure, we all agreed. I turn 18 at exactly 5:24 am, so we’re having a sleepover tonight, and we’re gonna wake up early. I get out some snacks, and wait. Tea shows up first, they’re early. Jack comes right on time, and Brian’s late. Like always. 

“I can’t believe you’re turning 18,” Tea says.

“I can’t believe we’re going in the tunnel,” Brian says. I think he’s more worried then he’d like to admit. Jack just nods to both. I stay quiet. I think I’m also more afraid of the tunnel then I’d like to admit.

We all go to bed at 9, hours earlier then we usually do. My mom caught us changing into our pjs, she thought we were crazy going to bed then. I mean, we were. Brian set an alarm for 4:30, to give us plenty of time to get ready and to the tunnel. We were all restless. I think only Jack slept well. When the alarm goes off, Jack is the one who turns it off. After waiting for the rest of us to get moving, of course. It takes 20 minutes to get ready and begin eating breakfast. No one else is up yet. We’re all eating cereal in the kitchen, whispering.

“What do you think will be in there?” I wonder aloud.

“Doesn’t matter,” Tea told me.

“We’ll find out soon enough,” Brian added.

“A monster,” Jack said softly.

We gather up flashlights and phones charged at 100%, and stuff a water bottle and a few snacks in a bag, just in case. Brian grabs candles, icing, 4 cookies, and a lighter. 

“It’s a birthday celebration after all.” He explains. Tea sniggers, I’m just worried.

I snag a pocket knife on my way out the door, and Tea runs back in to grab one themself. Er, two.

“Why do you have two?” I squint at them.

“Just in case one of the fools who didn’t grab one themselves changes their mind,” Tea smirks. Jack rolls his eyes and Brian snorts. 

All of us have a backpack, though none of them are full. The streets are dark as we wander down them, and we only see Ms. Petunia, fast asleep on her rocking chair on her porch.

“Weird old lady,” Brian comments.

“Don’t be rude!” Tea scolds. 

“She shouldn’t be sleeping on her porch though,” I say, “It’s not safe.” Jack nods.

Soon we’re at the tunnel. The street lamps don’t shed any light on it, and Brian pulls out his flashlight. It just illuminates an empty, damp, regular tunnel. So creepy. Jack sighs, and I hesitate as Tea pulls out his phone.

“Hey man, what do you need that for?” Brian asks.

“We’re on an adventure!!” Tea laughs, turning on video and pointing it at Brian. I doubt the camera can pick up anything other than his outline it’s so dark. “Video evidence is required,” Jack nods. Brian groans.

“If we get lost in there, that video evidence will mean nothing,” I say quietly. All three turn to me. 

“We won’t get lost,” Brian laughs with false confidence. I can hear the anxiety in his voice. “It’s a straight tunnel, how hard can it be?”

We all leave the tales unspoken. No need to frighten each other any more.

“Uh! Well! My phone can’t pick up much, so uh.. Hey Jack! Do me a favor and bring out your flashlight?” Tea forces a grin, but I can see gleams of sweat on their face. Jack nods again, and turns his flashlight on. I take a quick pause to check the time (5:14, by the way), and in we go.

It’s dark, even with both flashlights. Tea says their phone is seeing things just fine, but I don’t know how. I think Tea’s using their phone to see rather than just looking around, and I don’t blame them. We all stumble and trip a lot, and in the background I can hear water trickle. Eventually, my phone’s alarm goes off. It’s 5:20. Brian hands me his flashlight and brings out the “birthday supplies.” Jack helps him use icing to place the candles on the top of the cookie. After Tea shoves their phone at Brian, they snach the lighter from his hand.

“That doesn’t exactly prove you’re responsible enough to light it!” Brian snaps.

“And you are?” Tea grins. 

Jack’s gaze has wandered, and I follow his line of sight. He’s looking at the exit. The exit that’s really far away. The exit that leads to the outside world that I can’t help but be terrified that I won’t see again. Why did I think this was a good idea?

“Hey birthday boy!” Tea shouts at me. I whip around to find the candles lit and Tea holding their phone. Brian and Jack have their flashlights pointed at the cookies, which happen to be on plates. I don’t remember anyone grabbing paper plates, but whatever. I check the time again. 5:23. 

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!” Brian and Tea are shouting the song and Jack just sways along, grinning. Tea snaches the cookie with the candles and holds it out to me as they finish the song. Our fingers touch as they hand me the plate, but Tea doesn’t let go.

“Birthday boy, are you ready to discover what happens when you fool the laws of nature?!” They say grandly. I grin. As nervous as I was feeling before, Tea’s mood is contagious. This is fun now. I blow out the candles.

“As ready as I’ll ever-” The world blips.

“-be?” I blinked. I was at the entrance of the tunnel. 

“We won’t get lost,” Brian is talking. “It’s a straight tunnel, how hard can it be?” Hadn’t he said this before? Hadn’t we already gone in? Tea’s also blinking, looking a little lost. They hesitate, then speak too.

“Uh… Jack, mind getting out your flashlight? My phone… can’t see?” They sound uncertain, like they’re reading off a script they didn’t know they had. I am too. What happened? Jack pulls out his flashlight. I know I’m supposed to, so I check the time. 5:14. Just like the before that I can’t remember. When I look up, Brian and Jack are already making their way down the tunnel. Tea and I look at each other, then race to catch up. 

Tea walks beside me, and the deja vu just gets stronger. My phone’s alarm goes off. Brian gets out the birthday supplies, again, handing me his flashlight. Tea does what they did last time, but more robotic, like they weren’t really doing because that’s who they are, but rather the actions they’re supposed to do. Brian barely seemed to notice. Jack didn’t, cause he was watching the exit. The exit that we teleport back to in a few minutes. I think. How did that happen? Teleportation isn’t a thing? 

“Birthday boy?” Isn’t Tea supposed to shout? “Supposed to” what am I talking about? But the set up looks exactly like it’s supposed to, whatever that means. They start singing happy birthday, but it’s mostly Brian. Tea just kinda says the words, and Jack sways. When the song’s done, Tea grabs the cookie with candles and holds it out to me.

“Are you ready to discover what happens when you fool the laws of nature?” Tea isn’t as loud as they usually are.

“I- I guess so.” Our fingers are touching again (?), and Tea doesn’t let go until the world blips.

“We won’t get lost. It’s a straight tunnel, how hard can it be?” Alright, this has definitely happened before. What is going on???

“What the hell,” Tea said. We all stare at them.

“Huh?” Brian raises an eyebrow. “How is that a response to ‘how hard can it be?’”

“I- Nothing, sorry. Jack, could you pull out your flashlight? My phone can’t see,” Tea rubs their eyes, and blinks a few times. Jack pulls out his flashlight, and he and Brian head on in. Tea leans towards me.

“Please tell me I’m not crazy,” They whisper. I turn and stare at them, then nod.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not,” I whisper back.

“Hey, you two coming?!” Brian shouts back at us.

“Yea, sorry!” I yell, and Tea and I race to catch up. The alarm goes off. I get Brian’s flashlight, Brian gets out the birthday supplies. Tea just stares, so Brian and Jack set it up without them. Shockingly enough, it goes faster. Soon enough, Tea is handing the cookie to me. 

“Please tell me what you think is going to happen.” Tea sounds tired. I pause before answering.

“I think my aging up is sticking us in a time loop.” I groan. Jack reaches out and grabs my shoulder to get my attention, but as he gives me a questioning look the world blips. Again. 

“We won’t get lost. It’s a straight tunnel, how hard can it be?” If I hear that line again I might scream. This time, not only are Tea and I confused, but Jack’s also making a face.

“Maybe you were right,” Tea says.

“Right about…?” Brian asks them.

“No, not you, him!” Tea turns to me. “I think you’re right about being stuck in a time loop.” We stand and talk, Tea and I explaining everything to Brian and Jack. 

“Why wasn’t I in on this?” Brian complains jokingly.

“Cause you’re dumb,” Tea stuck out their tongue. My alarm goes off. We all look at each other. And it’s almost like we’re telepathic. Tea stops the video on their phone, Brian turns off his flashlight, and the 4 of us head home, Tea swearing to never stop reminding me of the adventure as the tunnel slips from my mind. 

[thepaperpanda]

Dissipated by a Parrot || Sam Drake x Reader

Summary: What might happen when a parrot takes over control

Warnings: none

Words: 2030

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Sam stopped the motorcycle and looked around the place full of people, surrounded by colorful stands full of everything. "Here we are, Indian market, just like you wished," He said helping you off the vehicle. "But I honestly don't know why are we in here."

"Don't know what exactly?," You asked him and rushed towards one of the stalls shortly after. "Come here, Drake!"

"I don't know why you've wished to come here," Sam explained quickly and followed you, joining you soon. "What did you find there, huh?," He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist.

You slipped out of his embrace smoothly and started a conversation with the seller, asking the elder man about some local spices you could buy. "Look, smell!," You turned face to Sam. "It's so awesome here, can you smell all these scents of fresh spices and herbs?"

Sam looked at you with cigarette between his lips, he put the lighter back into his pocket puffing out some smoke. "Sure I can, smells like this Indian place you love to visit or order the dinner from there," He said, rubbing his nose.

You ignored his comment which in your opinion was partly offensive and you kept on lurking through stalls, talking with people and having good time.

Unfortunately your mood quickly dropped when with the corner of your eye you have spotted a stall where some men were selling animals.

Sam noticed this and got worried. "Hey? What's wrong sweetheart? If this is about my comment, I was just joking. You know me," He said, touching your shoulder.

"Look," you whispered and clenched palms in fists. "I bet they do this illegally. Look at these animals!"

The men were having a lot of animals in cages, sometimes too small to accommodate three or four animals at once. There were parrots, monkeys, iguanas, and many more.

You rushed toward the stall.

Few steps away from stall Sam grabbed you by the arm and pulled you closer. He took cig out of his mouth and looked at you. "Love, that's the way it is here. It's not America, stuff like this happen here, there is nothing we can do about it."

"Help! Madam!" screechy voice got Sam's attention. It was coming from the stall. "Okay, let's see what's going on there." He said letting go of you.

You were first who approached the stall. "Excuse me, don't you think these cages are too small for the animals, huh?," You raised your voice a little and put hands on the metal table on which a cage with a parrot was placed.

Shady looking man glared at you with a frown. "Ah! Americans! Want get a pet? They good and healthy! I have papers," He said and smiled at you. "For nice lady like you 250$! Go, look, find perfect pet."

Sam frowned at the poor attempt in both English and selling you a pet. He tried to find the source. He walked around looking at all the poor trapped animals. "I wish I could let you all out." Sam walked until he came face to face with a parrot cage.

"Cookie?," Bird asked and Sam recognized the voice.

"Y/N! Sweetheart, come here!" He called you.

Glaring angrily at the seller and didn't move your glance off his shady-looking face, you approached your boyfriend. "Yes?"

"Look at this cutie." He said pointing at the cage.

"Hello! Namaskaar!" Parrot screeched and started to bite the metal bars of a cage.

Sam licked his lips looking around. "How about we take her and I will make sure this stand disappears and animals will be freed?"

Measuring his features with curious glance you gave him a slight nod of your head. "You can rip their little balls as well," you said.

Sam smiled and ruffled your hair. "Don't ya worry your pretty little head, love.”

Parrot looked at both of you. "Love, Love. Help." It screeched.

Sam chuckled and took the cage off the hook. "Go on, use your charm and get us some good price."

--------------

Afternoon came quickly and started covering the world with thick curtain of darkness and quietness.

The hotel room was filled with a dim light coming from a little lamp standing on a wooden nightstand.

Dressed in short shorts and too tight tank top you were sitting on the bed and observing how the parrot you and Sam bought on the market was wandering back and forth along windowsill.

Parrot stopped to clean its feathers, it shook its head and looked at you. "Hello. Cookie? Please!" It screeched.

Sam opened the door and smiled looking at you. "That's my favorite part of working with girlfriend. The sweet sight of you in my room," He joked and walked closer to kiss your head, Sam sat next to you. "So! I have good news, I took care of that man. He is done and animals will be free."

Parrot jumped off the windowsill and happily jumped toward Sam.

"Look!," You almost jumped in spot. "It's jumping! Look at these little jumps! Oh, God!"

"Yea, I think I know why." He said and picked up bird to look at it. "Those kind of people cut the wings, so they can ran away." Sam sighed and set parrot on his laps.

Bird looked at him and soon started to climb his jacket only to try to get to his pocket.

You took one of injured wings and saw a sharp line of where the cut was. You giggled seeing how parrot made it to Sam's shoulder.

"Ah! Yeah, yeah right! I have something for you." Sam said and pulled out few bird cookies, bird took one and started to eat it.

He smiled and started to pet animal's head. "Y/N? You think it can stay with us?"

"Why not. But I'll list up what is forbidden around this little sweetheart. First, no swearing. I don't want him or her to lurk around while squawking fuck, understood?," You smiled. "Second, I'll try to teach him or her talk. Next, no smoking around the parrot."

Sam smiled looking at you. "Look at you! Acting like a real life mom, I feel the maternal instinct kicking in." Sam joked and parrot nuzzled to his neck. "I think it likes my birds."

You reached hand and tried to invite parrot on your shoulder. "C'mere, baby. Come to mama."

Parrot took one more cookie from Sam and jumped on your hand and then traveled on your shoulder. "Cookie?" It said within high tone, offering you the said cookie, almost throwing it on your knees.

"Keep it to yourself, baby!," As gently as you could, you stroked parrot's head. "It's fluffy! I'm dying! I will never live this little lovely birdy behind!"

"Yes! We will take you home, buy you a big, nice, cozy cage or no you know what fu.... Heck the cage. I will get you a tree, you will be free and have a lots of snack." Sam said with a smile. "But I think it's time to sleep."

"What if baby will fly out through the window?," You asked in worried voice.

"Y/N, the wings? Remember?" Sam asked, looking at you. "It won't heal, love. This poor thing will stay flightless untill its last day," Sam said, picking up the parrot. "For now we will put it in the cage and cover it."

Man did exactly what he said and turned to you. "Baby is asleep so now daddy can take care of mommy," Sam hummed, slowly getting closer to you.

You knelt on the mattress and as soon as he came closer you put hands to his crotch where you massaged him lightly with your glance on his face.

Sam landed down to kiss you gently, pushing you further on the bed. His hand traveled under your top. "Now, let's see wh..."

Sam was interrupted by a loud parrot's sound. It wasn't any specific word, just a loud scream.

You almost let a hum of appreciation when you heard the parrot and its swishing voice. You laid back on the bed and rested head on the pillow and slowly spread you legs looking at Sam. "Go ahead, daddy. Our kid apparently needs attention."

Sam laughed resting his forehead on your shoulder, placing few kisses there. "C'mon. He... Or she is a big bird. It will be fine, now I want to give my attention to you."

He kissed your neck and moved down until he was kissing belly. The parrot screamed again, Sam groaned and put his head on your stomach. "I guess we will have our first sleepless night."

"Maybe it want to get outta cage. Let this happen and then maybe I'll let you to have some of this," you rubbed thighs together and licked your lips briefly, shifting your shirt up enough to reveal a little of your rounded boobs to him.

"I will put it in other room." He got up from the bed and walked to cage.

"You don't like sleeping, huh buddy?" Sam joked and removed the cover. He freed the bird and moved it to other room.

Soon your boyfriend joined you again, he didn't wasted more time and removed your top and shorts. "This will be fu..." Sam was again interrupted by a loud scream from other room.

As naked as you were beneath Samuel Drake, you used all of your strengths to push him aside. Then, you smoothly got off the bed and with a familiar swing in your hips you walked to another room and soon came back with parrot sitting on your shoulder. "Let him stay."

"You will let our baby watch how I F… you?" Sam said not really sure how else avoid the "F" word. "Isn't it depressing, I don't want this to become a disfuctional family."

You went to the wardrobe and let the parrot got off your shoulders to step on the counter of the furniture.

Parrot, squeaking happily walked back and forth along the edge of wardrobe and at the end it sat in the middle, looking down on the room.

With a smile you turned to Sam and slowly got on the old bed, straddling his laps quickly. "He or she doesn't understand anything at all darling," you explained. "Besides, since when are you concerned about someone watching us?," You asked and giggled shortly after. You placed hands to his chest and leant forward, rubbing your naked breasts against his chest covered under grey shirt. You nibbled onto his earlobe. "I thought it's turning you on, actually."

Sam sat up and wrapped his arm around you. "Well it's our baby after all, I don't want it to see those stuff until it's 18th birthday." He joked and kissed you deeply, suddenly Sam hissed. "Fuck." He pulled away to take a look at his hand, it was bitten. The parrot look at him from behind you.

You laughed and got off his lap. "I think no pussy for you tonight then."

"I guess so." Sam said with a heavy sigh, he quickly found his jacket.

"Cookie?" Parrot asked, tilting it's head.

"Yea, here." Sam muttered giving the last cookie to the bird. "I think we will have a lot things to adjust. When it comes to us and parrot."

"Like what?," You asked slipping your naked body under thin quilt.

"Teaching him that we need some private time too and learning that we have... feathery baby." Sam joked and removed his pants and shirt to join you under quilt. He sighed and pulled you closer, soon parrot tried to squeeze between two of you.

"Come here, little one," you let the parrot placed itself between two of you. You pressed your lips to little head which was accompanied with loud, squeaking "hello".

Sam looked at you with a frown. "Shall I be jealous?" He asked.

"Maybe," you replied.

Sam laughed quiely and pulled you a little closer, being careful to not hurt the bird. "You are lucky I love you." He said and kissed your forehead. "And I think I love you too. Even if I am a litte jealous." Sam muttered before kissing parrot's head.

Pandies🐼: @imidarogerson @grossograsso @thewildgardensstuff @leven-and-ashley @la-verdura @bearded-steve-rogers @atuckyismylife @krispyjellyfishzombie @personality-within @haseki-huricihan @choppedgardenwhispers @vroobelek @lattimelka @chris-beamz  @purepearls @volcanoxxx @kastrup-sofie @mikkal-akasaki @withoutashadowofhope @radbluebirdeagle @smutloversblog @buquete @super-psycho-love69 @tanglesss @peter-sommer @baysidewest @vegemania @philip-stan @chodiusmmm @tykorclint @dagger-dragger @kurant @oxfordkipem @deliciousbouquet90 @tuptuptup @hellenna80 @karina-marina9 @latimeriaaa @bratko @wurld89 @scott-evans @kiss-me-rouge @ovonel-espaniol @dancing-tacco @ratugadhi @white-tiger-shangrila @axn69 @eternal-life-awaits @mrs-laura-harmon @gleeeeees @darkllaama @jatut @agawux @fuzzy-tigrrr @jrjohnsson2 @maaargoshaaa @einexx @nwmtagsb @secretlygrantaire @kyloren-supreme-ben @infinity-stones-seeker @thehappyspider @wings4life @huxyluxy @dontbeafraidchild @misafiryanki @electronicpatrolcollective @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @aulika @a-happy-wolf @creative-seahorse @biologyforliving​ @stareyedplanet​

[grovestep]

Pyro [Overwatch - Ashe]

Title: Pyro Rating: T Ao3: Click here, and don’t forget to kudos!  Summary: Ashe finds her true calling in a rush of flames. 

Elizabeth Caledonia Ashe hated a lot of things; like ballroom gowns, business luncheons, and yacht parties. But most of all, she hated Jesse McCree. All of these things had one thing in common: they grated on her nerves and pushed her to the limit. If it weren’t for Bob’s calming presence, she would have jumped overboard by now--literally and figuratively.

When she wasn’t cooped up in the mansion, she was out doing the one thing she did best: wreaking havoc. If there was one thing Ashe loved, it was watching the world burn. She found her true calling when her mother took her shopping. Though she had the money to buy anything she wanted, she felt a thrill when her hands wandered over expensive items and slipped them into her purse when nobody was watching. She felt a rush of adrenaline leaving the store. Ashe would ride that high for days, feeling the best she ever had.

Her penchant for stealing transformed into something more dangerous. As a teenager, she picked up smoking. Her parents didn’t notice, but Bob did. He would brood at her silently as she lit up a cigarette and sat on her windowsill, flicking the ashes down at the expensive topiary. One day, one of those ashes happened to catch on the dry branches underneath the bushes. The sculpted topiary lion went up into beautiful flames. Ashe was in love.

She spent many of her nights setting fire to dumpsters. When she first started, she would flee immediately after starting the blaze. As time went on, she’d stay longer and longer. Ashe would sit and watch the fire burn itself out. She loved the orange light, the warmth, the dancing shadows it cast. She would stay right up until the flashing blue and red lights of the police bounced off the alley walls.

It was in one of these instances that she met Jesse McCree.

In Ashe’s humble opinion, it was one of the best fires she had ever set. Something in the dumpster happened to stoke the flame just right. The blaze roared to life, reaching heights she had never experienced before. For a brief moment, she worried that it might set the building behind it on fire. Then suddenly--

“Hey there, darlin’.”

Ashe felt her soul leave her body.

A young man stepped out from the shadows of the back alley. Ashe had no idea where he had come from or how long he had been there. She looked down at the lighter in her hand, then up at the fire she had so obviously set. Before he could say another word, Ashe took off running.

She had so much as reached the end of the alley when she felt a presence behind her.

A calloused hand gripping her arm.

A strong force pulling her back into the shadows.

“Get your dirty paws off me,” she bit out through clenched teeth, elbowing the man in the stomach. He didn’t flinch. Ashe looked up at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was focused somewhere else, somewhere Ashe couldn’t turn to see because his grip was iron around her arms. “What the hell are you looking at? I said let go of me!”

“Shut up, will ya? Do you wanna get caught?” the man said in a rushed whisper. The sound of voices approaching made Ashe panic. It took all of her willpower not to break free and take off running. Three cops walked right by their hiding place, not bothering to look into the shadows.

“Another one? That’s the fourth time this month,” one of the cops said as he looked at the dumpster fire.

“Looks like we have a serial arsonist,” another said.

“So long as they aren’t burning down houses, right? Call in the fire boys, there’s nothing else to do here.”

As the cops chattered away, the man tugged at Ashe’s arm. He beckoned for her to follow, pressing one finger to his lips. They slipped out of the alleyway through a gap in the fence Ashe had never noticed before. When they were well away from the scene, Ashe let the floodgate of emotions go, and to her surprise, so did the stranger.

“What the hell did you think you were doing back there?” He demanded.

“Me? I should ask you that! Who taught you your manners? Grabbing a lady like that. It’s not proper. Were you raised in a barn?”

The man sneered, “Lady? I don’t see no lady. All I see is some rich chick gettin’ her rocks off on settin’ fires.”

“I’m not just “some rich chick.” My name is Ashe and I do more than set fires,” she said with a scowl.

“Really? Well, Ashe, my name’s McCree. Jesse McCree. I’m sure you’ll find that I do more than rescue damsels in distress like yourself, too.”

Ashe clenched her teeth to keep from saying something nasty. She didn’t care if this “McCree” saved her ass from being put in jail. There was something about him that rubbed her the wrong way. The set of his jaw and the look in his eye made her want to punch him. Before she knew what she was doing, she said, “I can prove it.”

Jesse let out a choked laugh, “Yea, sure you can. An’ pigs can fly.”

The overwhelming urge to prove herself, to show her merit, rose up in her very being. It replaced all feelings of panic, adrenaline, and anger. She looked at Jesse with earnest. He seemed taken aback by the fire that was struck within her. He let out another laugh through his nose, “Alright, you can prove it, but I ain’t savin’ your ass this time,” he said. He looked up at the brightening sky, “But for now, we better part ways. Meet me back here tomorrow night,” he said.

Just like he came into her life, he was gone with the blink of an eye. Ashe was left feeling nauseous at the realization of what she had agreed to do.

—

Ashe leaned against a wall smoking a cigarette. She tried to act casual, but couldn’t help her shaking hands or shifty gaze. A calloused hand grabbed her shoulder and she jumped, dropping her cigarette on the ground. She looked up at Jesse with a gaze that could start fires.

“Try not to look so guilty. I could tell you were up to no good a mile away,” Jesse said, picking up her cigarette and putting it in his mouth. His face twisted in disgust and he threw it over his shoulder, spitting on the ground. “Shoulda known you smoked cloves.”

Ashe smirked, “Well?”

“Well, what? You’re the one that’s supposed to prove yourself. What’re you gonna do? Steal a purse from one of those high-end stores? Bust a window?” Jesse said, then leaned in closer, “Fall in love with a dashing cowboy?”

Ashe pressed her open palm against Jesse’s face and pushed him away. He stumbled backwards, catching his balance last second before falling on his ass. Ashe inclined her chin and looked down at Jesse with a glare he could only describe as pure evil, “Listen here, cowboy. I’m calling the shots. You’re just along for the ride. Watch and learn.”

Ashe turned on her heel and walked away. She smirked when she heard Jesse follow.

Just like a dog on a leash, she thought.

Ashe lead Jesse down the sidewalk. She had thought long and hard about what she was going to do. She didn’t want to get caught, and if she did, she didn’t want the bail to be astronomical. Her parents could barely care about her in the first place, but if she cost them thousands of dollars in bail, well...Ashe reckoned they’d start to care right quick.

They stopped in front of a dilapidated house. Jesse raised an eyebrow at her, but Ashe was too busy digging through her bag to notice. She pulled out a bottle stuffed with a rag and a lighter. Jesse’s lips twitched in an attempt to not burst into laughter.

“Hey darlin’, I thought you said you did more than light fires?” he asked.

Ashe didn’t say a word. Instead, she flicked her lighter to life, touching the flame to the rag. She turned to Jesse and smiled. The fire cast her face in shadow and light, highlighting that maniacal grin and blazing eyes. It sent shivers down Jesse’s spine. She threw the bottle at the dead bushes in front of the house.

Jesse would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little scared and a little turned on. While Ashe didn’t prove she could do other things, he had to admit this was pretty badass. The flames lapped at the old, abandoned house, easily catching on the rotted wood. They stood there together watching the fire rise and engulf whatever it touched.

Jesse reached out to touch Ashe’s arm. She jerked away, taking her eyes off her masterpiece to glare daggers at him. “Don’t get any ideas, cowboy,” she said. Jesse smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

Just as they decided to leave, the cops descended on them. This time, they didn’t use their lights. One moment Ashe and Jesse were alone and the next they were surrounded by officers. Jesse looked like a trapped animal, ready to lash out and bite anyone who approached him. Ashe heard him mumble something about “not going back there.”

Ashe was serene. The fire she had set roared behind her as they put her in handcuffs. She closed her eyes and revelled in the heat and the smell of smoke. Once that feeling took hold, it wouldn’t let her go again.

[artificialqueens]

Cheap pack of cigarettes (Pearlet)

Hey everyone, that’s my first fic in English and even though I feel really fucking insecure bc of the language, I think it’s time to step over it, right?? No beginning — no result, in the end. Hope y'all enjoy it. Much love.

“I do not want to hear this,” Matt says, feeling slightly annoyed. He’s used to it. He’s always slightly annoyed. “What I want to hear is at least one thing explaining the reason you want to be here, darling. I get it, you choke on Santino’s balls every day on lunch break, but what’s the point of waking up early every day, coming home at six in the evening and constantly, constantly find some inner strength to annoy the others if you have the nicest opportunity to just…leave it?”

Okay, Matt knows that Kevin will stay here, even if his cheeks explode right in front him (which is pretty expectable as Kevin’s pale cheekbones are just radiating pure shade of radish right now), because Santino hates useless people and because there are a lot of hot model guys on the fourth floor, stupid ass models that assume Kevin is kind of an other Santino for their little bronze arses.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he hears Santino’s voice suddenly, blinks and sets a schmaltzy cheshire smirk on his lips.

“Nothing”, Matt says, “just talking about life with your arm candy.”

“Ow, and following whom? Nietzsche? Raskolnikov?”

“More like Father Goriot vibes,” Matt smiles acidly and walks away from the room, knowing for sure that Santino’s going to eat up any kind of shit he comes up with. He’s not just a marketing guy, he’s the marking guru, although it’s been just seven months of his practice. Matt even wears these adult Hugo Boss suits because Santino takes him to every business deal, whether it’s just a lunch or an official meeting.

The perks of being smart. Or cons. Depends.

Right now, he’s impatiently staring at slowly changing numbers in the elevator, from twenty two to one, even more impatiently playing with the lighter in his left hand. He quickly crosses the hall filled with the sounds of ladies’ heels clatter, marimba ringtone and scent of hot coffee and storms out of the building, to the parking lot, a fag already between his lips.

Fuck.

Once, twice. Four times, then a couple more. His lighter is dead. Matt harshly swears under his breath.

The sky is grey. You can’t even see it under this big cover of massive clouds — with their purples, indigos and even dirty greens looking more like fresh bruises on a pair of pale knees. And god, the air is unsparingly humid, feels like you can raise your hand and stay with handful of cotton candy. Matt wants it to rain so hard the water would wash him away, dissolve his body under the pale clouds above.

And there it is. A quiet cough somewhere next to Matt, causing him to lift his gaze down and turn a little bit.

There’s a guy. In a white tee shirt and ripped grey jeans. He’s pale and his dark, Matt would even say ebony hair tied up in a bun, very messy and very, very curly one. He has a baby pink satin gym sac on his shoulder and a lighter in his hand, which he points at Matt with.

Matt nods. The boy puts a cigarette in his mouth and walks forward to Matt, lighting his cigarette first and not breaking their kind of heavy eye-contact. He’s a little bit taller. And smells like organic shampoo, no wonder why his hair looks so soft.

The boy blinks and lights his own cigarette. Matt licks his lips.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

The matter is, the guy’s probably a model. Tall, slim, legs for miles and not dressed up like a Wall-Street habitué. And although they usually drink smoothies and vanilla frappuccinos whilst smoking and also smoke in front of the building, posing for street style websites, he really looks like a model. And Matt doesn’t like models. At least all the models he’s met here were pretty much obsessed with talking shit about each other, that’s literally all.

“Jason!”

They both turn their heads to the sound of a female voice, and Matt recognizes Isabelle, the CEO of the whole company in this petite woman, quickly making her way towards them on her heels. He’s see her a lot of times and Santino even told him once that she said she was really pleased with Matt’s work, but they’ve never interact properly. Isabelle is dressed as perfect as usual, milk chocolate hair framing her well-aged face, yet a little bit concerned at the moment.

“You know I don’t encourage this,” she says, pointing to the cigarette in the boy’s fingers. “And we’re going to be late, so…oh, Matthew!” she exclaims, turning to Matt. Very surprised Matt. “It is such a pleasure to finally meet you, darling, not the greatest time, but nevertheless, I’m so glad we’re having you here!” she finally stops in from of them and quickly shakes Matt’s hand with her diminutive one, crinkles by her eyes as she smiles make her look even more sympathetic.

“It’s an honor for me, honestly,” Matt shakes it in awe, feeling a little bit awkward at the same time.

“Really wouldn’t want to treat my best workers like that, but you will have to excuse me, we’re running out of time, honey. See you later!”

She even fucking kisses him twice on the cheeks, and Matt sees that mocking smile on the boy’s, Jason, apparently, lips, after that, but then Isabelle just grabs his hand and the two of them quickly walk to the car, the woman’s sweet chirrup stuck in Matt’s head for a long time after they disappear.

***

The next couple of weeks go as usual, except Matt thinks of ripping the fuck away all the collars and sleeves of his shirts more and more — it’s physically hard to wear anything but tees in August.

Santino claps his hands and smiles.

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we’re having a five minute break now, please don’t be late, we still have a lot of stuff to discuss today.”

And the whole room of people rushes out of the door as fast as possible, mostly to grab some water. Matt, the lucky motherfucker who never sweats, goes directly to the back staircase, no time to go to the parking lot. One very smart and wise man, Kurtis, who now works in fucking Interview magazine, once showed him this quick and unproblematic way to have a minute, bless his chicken-loving heart. No, seriously, the lad loved chickens more than he loved his husband.

“Oh, hi.”

The moment when Matt is gone with the memories of his working life master is ruined with…Jason.

“Hel…lo?”

“It’s not illegal, right?”

Matt feels himself smiling a little.

“What?”

“Using the stairs. I’ve just spent fifteen minutes waiting for the elevator, like, it’s really too much for a one minute ride, right?”

“Yea, just a busy day here. It’s fine, using the stairs is not illegal.”

“It’s just special, then,” the boy says, his expressions go mock-coquettish.

“For elite only,” Matt agrees and takes a long drag, studying the boy who slowly walks down. He’s wearing a pink tee shirt and little shorts, leaving his long legs open for admiring. Dark curls this time cascading down to his shoulders, making the boy’s eyes deeper and bigger. They’re also dark, as far as Matt can make out, but he’s not sure.

“I cannot imagine how y'all wear that shit every day, I’m dying even in a t-shirt, you know. It’s hot as fuck.”

“Thanks for the compliment, I know it suits me,” Matt teasingly retorts, causing the other boy to raise his eyebrows and the right corner of his lips to turn upwards.

“I was actually talking about my t-shirt, not your suit, love.”

Matt chuckles and nods, defended, and throws the fag away.

“Have a nice day, Jason.”

“Same to you, Matthew.”

***

Matt is really fucking hungry, the only thought keeping him alive that past hour was the loveliest still-life, deserving to be hanged in Tretyakov’s gallery — a big, shiny with its fat, hot Barcelona burger, a plate of oily french fries and a giant vanilla milkshake from Mile’s. Matt takes a deep breath and opens the door to the cabinet to take his jacket and freezes under two pairs of eyes — Santino’s and Jason’s. It’s been two or three months since he last met the boy, and again, that’s more than unexpected.

“Hi Jason,” he says slowly, shaking off the confusion, but still looking into the boy’s eyes. He can’t read them, he cannot understand them, same confident, amused expressions, yet blank, matte. Emotionless.

“Hi Matthew,” he slowly answers, not breaking the eye contact either. Hell knows what he’s thinking about. His leg could be burning right now, and Matt still wouldn’t understand that.

“Oh wow,” it’s Santino’s turn to talk. His voice, just like his face, is…shook. Matt doesn’t know why, but he enjoys it. “Alright then. Have a nice evening, boys. Matt, see you tomorrow.”

They’re alone now. Matt blinks and slowly puts on his jacket.

“Um…”

“I’m hungry,” Jason announces, lifting his chin and crossing his arms on his chest. “Actually, I told him I was waiting for a friend here and he didn’t believe me and offered to take me for a dinner and I said I was not hungry, in case if you were listening.

"I wasn’t.”

“Oh.”

Jason looks like a swan, like a proud, elegant, yet offended bratty swan with his long neck, hair tied up in a messy bun again and long pale arms crossed.

Matt has seen this person twice before this evening, but he still feels like there’s something wrong. The boy’s still calm, still confident and poise, but Matt feels as if there are invisible hurdles all over him, very agressive and very, very traumatic indeed.

“So you’re not waiting for a friend here?”

“Technically, you were that friend. I wanted to ask if I could have a cigarette from you.”

“Sure you…”

“Are you going home now?”

Matt blinks twice, trying to read the consequences of a positive and the consequences of a negative answer.

“I was actually going to Mile’s, because I’ve been fucking starving,” he says cautiously. And then, even more cautiously, adds “wanna join?”

He notices that tension slowly leaves the boy’s body and his dark brown eyes soften. His arms are still crossed though, but Matt understands. He still doesn’t know a thing, but he understands.

“I do.”

***

“But what if you like another one more?”

“I’m pretty satisfied with how much I like Barcelona, thank you Ja—”

“You’re a coward.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said you—”

“Good evening gentlemen, can I take your order?”

Jason crosses his arms on his chest again and turns his face to the petite blonde with an IPod.

“Hi, yes, thank you, we’d like to have two vanilla milkshakes, a Sicilia and a Barcelona burgers, and two french fries, please, one with cheese topping.”

“Both with cheese topping,” Matt corrects, watching Jason.

“Both with cheese topping, please.”

“Owkay, anything for the dessert?” the girl asks, winking at Matt.

“Later,” they say in sync, nodding.

She pouts a little (Jason’s shady eye roll doesn’t go unnoticed) and repeats their order, takes the menus and goes away, leaving the two of them tête-a-tête again.

“How did you find that place?” Jason asks, which was a bit unexpected, because he still seems a bit tensed. As if he put himself together, but there was too much going on, too hard to pretend. “I’ve never heard of it before.”

“I was looking for Vivi Bubble Tea actually, it was here a year ago or something, but they moved and I decided to go try—”

“Barcelona.”

Matt licks his lips, teasingly annoyed.

“Yes. Barcelona. And I think that this talking-over habit of yours is really worse than smoking, love.”

“Is that an invitation?” the corners of Jason’s lips tremble slightly.

“Well you were waiting for me and my pack all in all, so yeah, it is.”

“You’re so sweet, you know.”

“To your bitter.”

“Rude,” he holds the door for Matt, before they enter the street, busy, noisy and so different to the comforting little cafe, filled with friendly radio songs and french vintage posters, and pleasing smell of oil and frying meat too.

“Why didn’t you buy yourself a pack?” Matt asks, watching Jason lighting his cigarette. For some reasons, their whole connection just flies around Marlboro Lights or Camel Yellows.

“I forgot my wallet at home and went to ask my mom for some cash but she wasn’t at the office and then I remembered you.”

“How nice,” Matt chuckles, deciding that he really doesn’t want to remember the Santino part of today. “How you’re going to go home?”

“My driver,” Jason shrugs. “He’ll pick me up at seven, so you’re stuck with me until then, love,” he mimics, and Matt rolls his eyes. And smiles.

***

The bitch took his Barcelona burger as soon as their order came.

“Jason, what the fuck, give it back to me, Jesus Christ,” Matt groans, whilst the boy next to him shakes his head unapologetically.

“Stop nagging, you knew it was going to happen sooner or later.”

“What? Having to tolerate Satan itself till seven pm?”

And Jason starts laughing, like, properly laughing, with his head thrown back and crinkles by his eyes visible. Not as adorable as it could’ve been when your burger dreams are fading right in front of you. But still kind of nice to see.

“No, I mean trying a new burger. Come on, I’m sure it’s actually better than Barcelona.”

“You can have it,” Matt grabs the plate with both hands and puts it in front of Jason. “There, bon appetite, now give me my—”

“You know what, we’ll share.”

“Oh god.”

“Yeah, you’re eating the half of Sicilia and then you’ll have your precious Barcelona half, deal?”

“No, not deal, you don’t even have money to fucking pay for this.”

“I’ll pay you as soon as my car arrives, with my wallet and stuff, besides, you brought me here, you initiated this, so the gentleman pays, asshole,” Jason’s clearly having the time of his life right now, and for some reasons unknown to humanity, Matt prefers this, not gone with clearly not that bright thoughts Jason.

“I’m not a gentleman, you fucker—”

“Well I’m clearly less a gentleman than you are, so shut up and eat the burger while it’s hot.”

It’s actually enough for Jason to just look directly into Matt’s eyes to make him take the burger in his hands. One poise, domineering look of dark brown eyes — and Matt just obeys, biting the bloody burger.

And if likes Sicilia more than Barcelona, well. Jason doesn’t need to know.

***

It’s 6th of October, the birthday of this shithole Matt works at. Not exactly a shithole actually, but sometimes there’s nothing but shit going on here. Sometimes Matt thinks it’s too adult for him, but then he’s just too exhausted to expand this thought.

He’s on the twenty eighth, the last floor of their building, in a group of people he couldn’t give less fucks about. Like, they talk about work, even when there’s free booze all around and each of them knows for sure no one wants to talk about the rises and the falls of the week. But they still do.

That’s why he’s staring at the window. He loves this floor, because it’s actually a very elegantly designed restaurant, with giant windows for walls and tender creamy lights, making people’s faces look prettier than they are. And the city is there, this endless metallic city, with towers and bridges, lights and tabloids, constellations of people and tragically lonely wolves wandering around. Matt canot really see the sky, because of the light’s reflections on the windows, but he sees himself, his bored and annoyed self, in a crisp white shirt, and navy-blue suite. He wants to take these clothes off, grab a can of beer and throw himself at one of these sofas just in his boxers and watch America’s Next Top Model.

He swallows two glasses of pink champagne and goes to the bar for ridiculously sweet screwdriver; sweet, but not schmaltzy. Matt’s definitely feeling buzzy by 10pm, when they start serving fish délicatesses. He hates fish.

And also public bathrooms. But moreover, public bathrooms with no music playing. And thank god, neither of those things he has to experience this night. The bathrooms are still kind of public, but fancy-public, with little bouquets of lavender by the sink and four clean towels, just like at Matt’s mom’s bathroom. And the soap is pink, with little pieces of chai roses.

There’s fucking Jason standing in front of the bathroom door when Matt opens it. His eyes go wide for a second.

“Don’t even pretend to be shocked, you knew we would meet, we always meet,” Matt says sardonically.

“Um, for the record, I was watching your tormented breakdown for twenty minutes, so yea, I knew we would meet. I’m shocked that you’re still alive and didn’t actually hang yourself in the bathroom.”

“My…my breakdown?”

“You looked really pathetic standing by the window a couple of minutes ago. Pathetic, noble and mentally destructed.”

“So you worry about me.”

Jason is frozen for literally half of a second. Then, he raises his eyebrows high, blinks so bitchily that Matt feels as if he’s just been bloody read, and huffs with the grace of Mean Girls.

“I was worried that if you die there will be no one left to buy me a drink, so yeah, I was, darling.”

“Wowowow, so I have to buy you a drink now? Interesting,” Matt chuckles and leans on the door frame.

“Everyone here knows me. No one’s going to let me drink,” the boy rolls his eyes and crosses his arms on his chest.

“How old are you? Fifteen?”

“I’m nineteen, asshole, just get me a drink, you don’t even have to buy it, all the booze’s on my mom,” Matt could swear, he has never ever known a creature meaner in his life.

“Don’t get drunk too fast, kid.”

He earns one more heartwarming eyeroll.

***

To Matt’s surprise, Jason takes him to the back staircase. They have a bottle of champagne and two glasses (Matt really shouldn’t have drunk one more screwdriver), and now the noises and talks and music is gone — just the two of them sitting on the stairs.

“I’m actually a bit confused that you didn’t stay there.”

Jason exhales the smoke with his pouty lips and turns his face to Matt.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought you’d talk to all these models and people and Santino…ah, fuck.”

“Dot get drunk too fast, huh?” the boy smirks.

“Shut up, I’m not drunk.”

“Well, I’m not a model. And not one of "all those people”.

“I thought you were.”

“I’m not. I’m a dancer.”

“A dancer?”

“A ballet dancer.”

“Dude.”

Jason laughs and takes a sip of champagne.

“Uh-huh.”

“Where did you go with your mother that day we met at the parking lot?”

“The premiere of Swan Lake.”

“You…you’re taking part in Swan Lake?”

The boy nods with a little smile, watching Matt, clearly amused.

“And who’s your character?”

“The evil magician.”

“The Rothbart one?”

It’s Jason’s turn to be surprised. His eyebrows fly high again, but not in a teasing way.

“I’m impressed, Matthew. You’re not just one of those who watched "The Balck Swan”, yeah?“

"I didn’t like it. I like the story of Odette more than Natalie Portman going crazy over some role.”

Jason’s laughter light up the whole empty space of twenty eight flights.

“Same, darling, same.”

“I think you’d do a great Rothbart.”

“I think it’s my nose.”

“Your nose?”

“Yea. It’s huge. And, like, aquiline a bit. Ugly, but Rothbart.”

“You think your nose is ugly?”

For the first time in the history of their meetings, Jason looks a bit unsure. He shrugs a little.

“I like your nose.”

“Matthew, honey, right now you’d like anything,” Jason licks his lips and lights up another cigarette.

“Okay, maybe you’re right,” Matt watches Jason exhale. “But tomorrow I’ll be sober and I’ll still like your nose,” he shrugs and takes the bottle.

There is silence after that. It makes Matt look at Jason again just to find the boy watching him, head pressed to the wall, smoky haze filling up the air slowly.

“Why do you work here?”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t like these people. You don’t fit in. You’re different. There are people like you, you’re not the only one, but they have some reasons I at least can figure out. And yours…I think I might have an idea, but nevertheless. Why do you work here?”

“What’s the idea?”

“I asked first.”

“I’m drunk.”

“You said you were not.”

Matt glares at him and daringly swallows his whole glass of champagne in two seconds. He wrinkles his nose a bit and puts the glass on a stair.

“Well I am now.”

Jason slowly shakes his head and rolls his eyes with a smile.

“So what’s the idea?”

“You’re a coward.”

“Explain.”

“It’s the same thing with the Barcelona burger. Like, you tried it once and you liked it and it’s enough for you, you’re satisfied. You don’t try anything else, even if you’re like, tired of it, you’re scared that you won’t like any other burger. Well, yea, I mean, it’s possible, lots of things don’t work out and we have to search more, but you’re not even twenty five, you’ve just finished uni, you already have a year of practice here and it would be an honor for any other company to have you for an employee, like, you have so much potential and ideas and you’re so fucking smart, yet you’re stuck here, because, like, why? It pays well and everyone loves you and you don’t have to put much effort here. It really would be enough for someone who’s fourth years old. But you’re done here, this step is completed, go higher, you have to go higher. You’re meant to be higher.”

Silence, again. Matt wants do dissolve in these walls, cigarette smoke and Jason’s voice. He doesn’t want to think, he doesn’t want to move, his head is so hard, but it’s numb, it’s fucking empty at the same time.

“I feel so wasted right now.”

Great. And his voice sounds like fourteen years old girl’s after she found out Zayn had left the band.

“I’ll make sure you’re home safe if you let me stay at yours this night.

The boy’s…bizarre.

"I…I don’t understand this, but…sure, I guess?”

“You have no choice anyway.”

“We always have a choice.”

“I enjoy this fake-deep conversation in a very odd way, you know.”

“I bet we look so dramatic and artsy.”

Jason laughs quietly.

“I think so too.”

***

Matt is a lucky motherfucker not only because he never sweats, but because he’s also never hungover. So when he wakes up in the morning, feeling pretty much fine, he thanks god for the millionth time for this gift.

He feels the familiar warmth of Honey lying next to him and turns to be greeted with her wet black nose and rough pink tongue.

Although…wait. Matt frowns a little, feeling that her paws are wet as well. He quickly sits in his bed and takes them in his hands, because she easily could just break a plate or a glass and hurt herself…but her paws are fine, wet as if they’ve just been washed, and…and they smell like his shampoo.

Jason.

Matt briefly remembers hearing the door closing a while ago, twice, and that means…that means Jason walked with his dog.

It’s almost one pm.

He remembers waiting for the taxi and the feeling of Jason’s shoulder under his cheek in the backseat. He remembers Jason’s hands on his waist and his voice asking for permission to borrow a tee shirt and sheets. And he remembers the glass of water Jason made him drink before closing his eyes.

No one’s there in the sitting room when Matt enters it with Honey pressed to his chest. Two towels, pillows and sheets are carefully folded up on the couch, a cup, a plate and a spoon are in the sink. Honey licks his nose happily and makes him turn his face to her, a little frustrated.

He knows he has a lot of things to think of. He has always had them, this particular subject, but Matt is one of those people who needs people like Jason to tell him everything right in the face. He prefers to be blind until someone wipes the glass in front of him. And he couldn’t be more thankful for that.

The only thing that breaks Matt a little bit in this morning is that Jason has left no note. He shouldn’t have, for sure, he’s done more than Matt could even expect, no one has never walked his dog in the morning, but. Like.

That’s stupid.

And people do think stupid sometimes.

***

“So are you, uh, dating Jason?” Santino asks Matt on Monday morning, causing him to choke on his coffee.

“What.”

The man shrugs and keeps looking at the papers in his hand, clearly trying to show how little does he care. Of course.

“You two were hanging out on Friday night together, and then that time he came here to pick you up after work…”

“We’re not dating.”

“Oh. I see. He’s pretty hot, innit?” he smirks and winks filthily. What the fuck.

This whole dialogue left Matt tensed for hours after that. No, of course he’s not dating Jason, not even close, but the thing is, Matt suddenly finds himself clearly not in favour of Santino showing interest to that curly-haired menace. He remembers how annoyed and tensed Jason was that day Santino asked him out, and for sure he doesn’t know what is going on between them, but on Tuesday Matt finds himself in front of Isabelle’s office with the stupidest thought in his head: he has to tell Jason. And to make it work he’ll ask his mother for his phone number, yeah, thank you very much.

He hasn’t come up with a not-creepy explanation of why he needs his CEO’s son’s number yet and he has no idea what he’s going to say when Isabelle looks up at Matt like there’s clearly something wrong with him, but he has to do that.

People also do act stupid sometimes.

His whole plan is ruined when Isabelle’s secretary nicely informs Matt that she’s in Chicago. He doesn’t know what to do now. He doesn’t want Jason to be bothered by Santino, moreover, he doesn’t want Jason to be one of many guys Santino’s had.

God help Matt, bless his little trembling heart. Little trembling jealous heart.

***

Despite all the what-the-fuck-are-you-doings and this-is-the-most-embarrassing-shit-you’ve-ever-been-up-tos, Matt takes his seat in the second row, right in the middle of it. He doesn’t know if it’s god who helps him, or he’s really that kind of really bloody lucky motherfucker, or both, but he, for almost the first time in the history of Matthew Lent, didn’t leave everything for the last moment and bought the ticket a week ago, because when he opened the theater’s website yesterday to check up the address, all the seats were taken. They perform twice a month, have been doing Swan Lake for about five months now, and the show is still really demanded by the public.

Matt has no idea if he’ll be able to catch Jason after the ending. He has no idea if Santino has already got to him. He also can’t predict Jason’s reaction. But he’s doing something, it’s really a lot, because, despite his success at work, Matt is still the best at doing only one thing in his life — nothing.

He does nothing. He’s a coward. He’s lazy. He’s not interested most of the time.

And that’s different, for unknown reasons. Maybe because Jason is different. Maybe because of magnetic fields and stuff. A shit ton of explanations.

But there’s no room left for them when he sees the tall shape of Jason on the scene, dressed in dark blue tight costume, showing his slim elegant body that is totally, absolutely flawless. The music is loud and sublime, the lights turn soft and kind of silky, everything works for that boy there, getting Matt mesmerized, breathless. He forgets where he is, he forgets the main purpose of this night, he’s just there, in front of a work of art moving fast and slow at the same time, making everyone feel like the whole world stopped for a while to admire this one creature.

He’s superlunary.

***

It’s cold as fuck outsides. Matt has no idea what he was thinking about, but he’s too exhausted to go home. He wanted to buy flowers in the nearest flower shop, but it was really late and all he got was a little pot of violets. And now there’s a chance that they fucking die before Jason shows up. If he ever shows up, actually, because maybe there is an other door for dancers and staff.

Fifteen minutes to eleven. Ten. Seven. Four. It’s eleven pm. The only thing keeping him waiting is Odette and some other dancers, Matt saw them walking out of the building. He feels stupid. He knows he’ll feel even more stupid anyways: either he’ll meet Jason or he won’t.

His hands are burning and so are his cheeks. The coat keeps his body warm, yeah, but not his toes that he’ll probably have to amputate — Matt stopped feeling them ten minutes ago.

He feels vibration in his pocket. For a half of a second he thinks, maybe it’s Jason, but Jason doesn’t have his phone number. And why would he call him now, Jesus Christ.

It’s Matt’s mom. He taps on the green circle, and a very familiar warmth starts creeping up from his chest after his mom’s “Hello, sugar!”.

“Hi, mom. Sup?”

“Nothing particular, just checking out,” the woman talks with a smile in her voice. “What are you up to? You’re outsides?”

“Yeah, waiting for a friend,” Matt says, looking up at the doors.

“Someone special?” she asks teasingly.

“No, just a friend.”

Liar.

“Don’t worry, sugar, you’ll find so—”

“Mom.”

“Alright-alright, big boy. By the way, are you planning to come home for Christmas? We’ve all missed you loads.”

“Yeah, for sure I’ll come, no way I’m missing you’re pudding and—”

“What was that, honey?”

“No, nothing, it’s just, my friend is here.”

He’s really here, enters the street and makes Matt’s heart pound so hard he feels it on the tips of his fingers.

And he’s with someone else. Some guy telling him something and making the boy smile. Boom.

There was no way people like Jason are single.

“Oh alright then, I’ll call you—”

“No, I denoted,” Matt quickly turns his back to the theater and looks at the violet in his hand. “Keep talking,” because you’re the only reason I’ll be fine tonight.

“Matty, what’s happening?”

“Where?” playing dumb is also on the list of things Matt does the best.

“Matt.”

“What?”

“What is going on?”

“Mom, I was wrong, it wasn’t my friend, it’s crowded here, I’m not wearing contacts, what do you want from me?”

“Why are you not wearing your glasses?”

“I forgot them at home.”

“Don’t tell me you were driving without you contacts.”

“I was not driving, I took the train. My friend lives far and I was tired.”

“Where are you two going all tired and at eleven in the evening?”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“There’s kind of a performance downtown, you know? Like Marina Abramovic kind of stuff, it starts in an hour.”

“Wow, sounds great! Will you manage wake up tomorrow?”

Matt chuckles a bit.

“Yeah, I have a meeting at eleven am, it’s fine.”

“Okay, sugar, take care! Waiting you for Christmas. And don’t forget Honey!”

“I won’t mom, see you later. Bye.”

“You did it so good I almost believed you.”

Matt is one hundred percent sure his heart just missed a beat. He feels a hand on his arm, making him turn slowly. Every lie he just keeps coming up with in his head sounds ridiculous. What he told his mom was also ridiculous, starting from the part where he’s not wearing contacts (he’s basically blind without them or glasses), but she ate it up, she always does. And Jason, who’s not smiling or smirking, just staring at Matt with his big shiny eyes, he’s not his mom. He radiates warmth, his cheeks are blossoming from the cold, curls framing his pale face with same unreadable expressions on it.

“Hey,” he says quietly, not even blinking.

“Hi.”

“You’re cold.”

“You were busy.”

“Saying goodbye to my best friend after the show.”

Matt feels his ears burning. Not from the icy air around.

“I’m speechless.”

“Me too.”

“Why?”

“You’re first.”

Jason smiles. Smiles. Not smirks. Or rolls his eyes.

“You’re the last person I expected to see here. Ever.”

“I had to talk to you. I tried to ask you mom for your phone number, but she was in Chicago.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Santino was hitting on you and I thought I had to warn you.”

“Warn me?”

Matt hates himself so much right now. He knows his face is pomegranate-coloured, from the elbow to his neck.

“He’s an asshole.”

“I had a crush on him for two years.”

Boom.

“And then I realized I was too good for him.”

That’s something Matt has never thought he’d hear from a nineteen years old guy.

“Everyone wants Santino.”

“I’m not everyone.”

“I know.”

“I’ve never been given flowers after the show, you know.”

Matt looks at the little ugly pot of violets in his hand.

“I wanted to buy a bouquet of something white, but they ran out of flowers in the evening. And I got this.”

“Something white.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s awkward.”

“Thank you very much, very nice of you, you know.”

Jason carefully takes the pot from Matt’s hand.

“Oh my god, your hand is fucking red.”

“That sucks,” Matt shrugs and almost puts his hand in his pocket, but Jason’s warm fingers stop him.

He doesn’t feel the electricity or fire or butterflies. He feels warmth, like liquid, like butter or honey crawling down his spine. And of course it’s Jason who leans in and captures his lips between his own, because Matt is a coward and he’s ridiculous and stupid and, and, and. But he feels the heat of Jason’s mouth, his fingers holding the fingers of Matt’s, his breath that smells like cigarette smoke. And oh god. He finally realizes that he’s falling so fucking hard.

***

He’s quit the job after finding a much better place — some controversial website with 70s theme and 90s Kate Moss for an idol. They also print 6900 copies of their shit once in six months and sell it for fifty bucks per exemplar. Everyone eats it up because it’s fucking sick. He also has bought about thirteen or fourteen everyday tee shirts. Finally placed all his X-men comics in the right order. Stopped using contacts. He drinks more milkshakes than beer. Smokes more. Meets new people and explores new places. Has watched a shit ton of movies he had to watch, the whole list of them in his notes is full of ✖️emojis. Oh. And he tried all the burgers and all the soups, salads and desserts in Mile’s.

Because of fucking Jason.

The boy who spends most of his mom’s money on cigarettes.

Matt knows his haircare routine — nothing but organic shampoo. No conditioners, masks, no balsams. Just shampoo. And love. He knows that he listens to Beethoven and girlsbands. And that it’s impossible to hear him walking at home — he’s noiseless. Literally. He knows what it feels like to have Jason inside him. Both physically and mentally. He knows that Jason doesn’t have a lot of friends and Odette and Odile and the others don’t like him, they really don’t like him. Matt knows that Jason doesn’t care, like, he really doesn’t, because he’s younger than all of them and still a better dancer. They have that pot of violets in Matt’s kitchen, because Jason spends more time at his than at his mom’s now. They bloom a lot. They are pretty. Jason likes violets. So does Matt now. He would never had guessed that he’d love violets the most.

Because of fucking Jason.

[swearronchanel]

4.03 to kill some time

I’m so stressed *no surprise* and I’m very much over this semester even though there’s 6 more weeks lol but I’m going to do what I do best before I go to my last class: avoid my problems and responsibilities & watch call the midwife  (4.03 won the episode roulette) and post my trash commentary™..

How many series has Fred been in charge of these volunteer whatever’s and I still don’t know the proper name/title??

LOL @ the shrieks but I feel, rats are nasty af. There’s so many in the train stations in nyc it’s gross

Phyllis !! back when I didn’t really like her omg I was a fool

Sister MJ so pure lol, she doesn’t wanna poison the rats

fuck that tho kill em all

Here comes Trixie 😍 my bby & her fabulous pyjamas. I want them 😭

Ivy from downton abbey out here, I forgot she was Mrs Amos

Imagine if someone actually relevant from downton guest starred on ctm? That’d be lit

Hey Pats

“Baby at the surgery?” LOL Phyllis was such a bitch to my bby Shelagh in the beginning tbh 😂😂 it’s fine all is forgiven, i love her now. BESIDES THEY HUGGED & SHELAGH CALLED HER A FRIEND & IT WAS SO SWEET

Angela is so precious w/ her ears that stick out lol

Dysentery yikes

Phyllis gets shit done though. I love it

Noted: Patsy says “garage” funny & Patrick says “recourses” funny. Idk if it’s just the accent and I’m a childish American or if they just say it weird?? prob the former

I hate watching this online because there are no subtitles 😭😭

like I know this random bitch in the clinic just said something rude about the Irish family but it’s not clear !

my bby shelagh so precious even explaining how to properly wash your hands

but I hope they burned that blue dress though. She’s too pretty to wear ugly clothes !! 😭😍

Shelagh’s so nice & patient 😂like if I was her I would’ve told Phyllis to keep it pushing and that I got it covered

Helen George slays every hair style, I freaking wish

Oh shit I forgot Tom & Trixie were engaged here haha

I’m slightly uncomfortable 😂

I forgot about this storyline, I feel so sad for the Mcavoys

Patsy’s outfit 😍 I love it

sister MJ out here trying to capture the rats to set them free 😂

I still don’t really get what the Rose Queen thing is/how it works

this poor Irish family can’t catch a break

Oh shit wait this is when Tony gets set up right, well it seemed like a set up.

damn though Tony was really about to get it with this guy in a public bathroom?? hm  never mind

But it was so suspicious that the guy didn’t immediately break away & then didn’t even say anything, just blew that damn whistle?? no coñfio

I swear it was a set up but anyways

I knew you could be arrested for being gay at the time in the uk but it’s still wild to me when I watched this episode. Like how fucked up? To be deemed a criminal for wanting to be with someone of the same sex. I’m pretty sure it’s still like that in some countries too. Insane

But still fucked up of Tony, like you’re married. Can’t defend cheating

See Trixie agrees, we don’t like cheaters

“No dark secrets girls, not if you value your life”

Marie’s dad said “garage” the same way, maybe it’s the accent

Aw my bbys are back on screen

“Surely with nurse crane on the warpath, dysentery doesn’t stand a chance”  hell yea, Phyllis👏🏼can👏🏼take👏🏼on👏🏼 anything

But I’m glad Shelagh solves the mystery because it was rather dull when she wasn’t doing much & she’s too good for that!

“I thought I might assist you in a manner of a Dr Watson” SHE’S SO CUTE 💖

yea okay lady you tell yourself it’s a decent street bc there’s no Irish

prejudice boils my blood

“..I’m always very careful, especially with an accent” lol um you all have accents ???

I forgot for a second that they prob don’t consider anyone to have accents because they live there lol, same way I swear I don’t have an accent until someone that’s not from nyc calls it out😭 But Shelagh’s accent is obviously different too ?? Besides I think the Irish family is easier to understand than some of the local people ?? Hmm. I’m not even going to bother figuring it out, whatever. The woman lied and you’re still perfect Shelagh

But I approve of the navy blue suit. Her lighter blue dress wasn’t a look  

Babs was kind of irrelevant here tbh lol

Tom whispering “I’m in love with you” to Trixie like same, who isn’t. Beatrix is a dream

“Who knows what undesirable will be purged next?”  *clenches fist* aghh, I wish it was the nasty stale cheeto running my country

Lol omg Fred’s small glasses

Aw sister Julienne, she hasn’t been in this episode much 😭

Jenny Agutter is so great and I’m still not over the fact that she loves rap & especially Eminem. Like I need a video of her singing “shake that ass for me”😂😂 I’d die.

poor Mr Amos 💔

More dinner table scenes in series 7, I love when the majority of the cast is together

Omg how awful/ sacrilegious of me is it to ask that someone make an edit of the the last supper with the Call the midwife cast 😭😭

Eh I’ve said/done worse, god forgive me lol *does the cross, en el nombre del padre, y del hijo y espiritu santo*

Agreed Babs, Mr Amos is so good looking 😭😉

“Don’t make that your criteria for men. My mother always said find a plain man, he’ll be eternally grateful and never stray” LMAOO PHYLLIS I LOVE YOU

my mother tells me “find a rich man because you’re high maintenance and can’t afford it” 😂😂 .. still working on that

“I always thought the essence of crime is that some harm is done to someone” right SIster MJ!?😭

Okay sister W, the Bible says it’s a sin but the Bible condemns a lot of things.  Like the doesn’t the Bible even say don’t mix clothing fabrics lol

“Well quite frankly, I thought we fought a war of fascism. And that’s exactly what this is, telling people who they can and can not love”  yes Trixie👏🏼 that’s my bby

Patsy sitting there so uncomfortable aww

I don’t think the show has touched on homosexuality since this episode?? are we thinking someone else with find out about Patsy and Delia in series 7??  so curious

Netflix cut this Turner scene, just like they cut most of their cute scenes like how dare they

“Patrick, you’ll think me naive..” she’s so innocent

“I supposed it’s how we made things..There isn’t much room for a different way”

SHELAGH’S REACTION WHEN PATRICK SAYS KINSYS REPORT STATES A “GOOD DEAL OF MEN HAVE HAD HOMOSEXUAL THOUGHTS” KILLS ME EVERY.TIME😂😂

Once again Laura Main proving she’s the queen of facial expressions

“We should live and let live” Patrick’s not here to judge & I’m glad

Do judges or whatever they’re called in the U.K. still wear those wigs?

Oh shit he was a constable I didn’t remember that

Trixie and Phyllis is the dynamic I am here™ for

right after Trixie & Shelagh but I’ll leave that be for now, you know my feelings

3 series of Phyllis’s barley sugar mentions & I still don’t know what the hell they are

And considering my phone is on me just about all the time you’d think I would’ve googled it by now ??

Poor Patrick trying to speak and being shut up

I don’t like his hair gelled down though. But he’s stopped that thankfully

remembering people really think you can “cure homosexuality” again, wild

omg ew what kind of bug was that *cringes*

Lol that baby does not look like a new born

they’re giving Tony estrogen wtf

Phyllis is right yikes that hostile belongs in the past

How is Patrick comfortable eating in there

Phyllis has been scolding Patrick on his eating habits since 1960😂

Phyllis and Trixie sharing a room and both have towels wrapped around their heads 😂😭 I love it

Omg Trixie is helping Phyllis with her Spanish I forgot

“I have a great desire to go to Spain one day..” LET PHYLLIS GO TO SPAIN 2k18/1963 !!

Phyllis calling out Trixie’s drinking..

She notices everything

Trixie taking the new rose queens glasses off lol, just like she lowkey wanted Shelagh to take her glasses off during the wedding

Who does this lady think she is banishing people from the community centre??

“Small mindedness has no place here” yes Pats

Ok Fred’s group is called the CDC, but what does that stand for

“A man can be too clean” wait why does she think there’s a correlation between cleanliness and being gay??

Poor Mrs Amos 😭 I feel bad for them both though

“Am I the only one who doesn’t despise them?” Aww Patsy

“Of course not, I just don’t think it’s our battle to fight” .. “who will then?” !!!!!! Thisssss. Still relevant today. Can’t stay silent

Trixie in another pair of fabulous pyjamas. I want them!

Ok but for real when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia ??

Sister J is so cute lol & her suggesting Phyllis to go with Patrick like hell yes

Another duo I’m here for 😂

I need Phyllis in my life, she’d set me straight and would give advice when I need it

Honestly I need her voice on a recording to play back whenever I make bad decisions 😂😂

Oh shit they graffitied The Amos’ door

Mr Amos is trying to take his life while his wife is bringing another life into the world ..

aw I’m tearing. Marie’s dad stopping Tony & telling him he has a daughter

“Best advice I ever received. When in the path of an unstoppable force it’s always best to surrender” PHYLLIS FU*KING CRANE LADIES & GENTLEMEN, A HERO AND ACTUAL GEM

And my bby Shelagh solving the mystery of the dysentery outbreak! She’s Also a gem 💕

“Elementary” “My dear Watson”😭😭😍❤️ bbys!

Patrick and Phyllis celebrating their victory omg so golden

“..And if anyone doesn’t like it then they can go home and stew in their own mean spiritedness..” yes Trixie that’s my bby!

Cue Vanessa “..We can protect all that we have”

Sister MJ yelling at the little boys aww 😭😂 “we are all gods creatures” ..“some are easier to love than others” ..“it’s the others that need us most!”

I just need Sister MJ protected at every cost, please!!

“But that place which we call home must be the place in which we are ourselves with no facade, no foundations weak, below us. Only then can we face outwards with our heads held high, claim the roles assigned to us, with open, honest hearts.. ”

Maybe I should google the rose queen too, is this a real thing?

Patsy holding Tony’s hand 😭

Everyone ended up clapping ugh my heart 😢

why does ctm always make me so emotional ? literally gold in television form. & it has ruined tv for me because there will never be a show greater than this

I want to watch another episode, but I have class in 10 mins ughh. ok bye guys. I dont have time to check my spelling and shit so bear with me and excuse it all 

[gulescamisade]

Alaska:  Day 3

[[ Despite the finesse of Nyalah's hunting capabilities, rabbits another small game are not quite so filling. Due to their bodies hard work of keeping them warm on top of their decision to continue moving, hunger begins to set in. ]]

KARKAT: =Great he loves starving.... but is there any water around? He's going to go check for that=

DAVE: -there's snow-

KARKAT: =He has fists and entire lakes don't freeze, the people need to be fed=

DAVE: -o yea you can get fish-

DAELOS: -The cold is really slowing him down, he's very still for long periods of time, trying to conserve energy.-

DAELOS: -He wants to have his STRENGTH in case something bad happens.-

KARKAT: =Weak. But he's venturing out on a quest for water. He's not letting people STARVE while he sits around like an assbasket=

KARKAT: =Or a lake/pond rather=

ARANEA: -keeping near to daelos and lending as much heat as she can. though she is unfortunately much smaller and only slightly warmer blooded then him, the hands she holds against his arm have a strange comforting warmth to them... if anything, it should be helping him keep his spirits up.-

[[ Karkat is in luck. In the distance, there among all the white and somewhat green-brown of the terrain, there is a sliver of light blue. It is the Yukon River, to be precise (and if anyone desires to use their GPS to check.) ]]

KARKAT: =Great, he knows shit about this place but he knows water, frozen or no. Shuffles his way over, slightly less bundled up and goes to check how thick the ice is=

[[ It is much thicker near the bank and sturdy enough to walk on. The closer one gets to the center of the river, however, the thinner it becomes. ]]

KARKAT: =Alright= WATCH ME SLIP AND FALL MY ENTIRE ASS INTO THIS FRIGID RIVER... =Mumbles to himself loudly and steps carefully on the ice to break it where it's still thick enough for him to be supported but he's not going to break his fist=

TEREZI: W1SH 1 COULD >;]

TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY, B3 C4R3FUL THOUGH

[[ Karkat must walk 30-40 feet across the ice until he reaches that point. ]]

DAVE: -also watching with terezi-

KARKAT: =Flinches and slips on the ice a little= FUCK. HOW LONG WERE YOU FO-- =They're both here= ....... UGH FINE. =Keeps.... walking, half-sliding on ice=

DAVE: -it feels great to surprise karkat and have him begrudgingly acknowledge him. Such an adorable grump-

KARKAT: =He's not adorable he's a survivor. Slips and falls rifht on his ass. Slides. ..=

TEREZI: =stifling a laugh=

TEREZI: PFFT

DAVE: get on your feet DAVE: get up and make it happen

KARKAT: GREAT, YOU BOTH CAME TO BE USELESS AND CACKLE. =turns on his stomach and tries to stand=

TEREZI: 1 B3L13V3 1N YOU!!

KARKAT: WHATEVER, YOU'RE HERE TO BE ENTERTAINED. =shuffles more then INTENTIONALLY plops down and gives the thinner bit a considerable knock with his whole fist=

ICE: =dull thonk=

DAVE: punch it

KARKAT: EAT MY ENTIRE ASS STRIDER. =knocks HARDER=

ICE: =OWIE! produces a small crack=

DAVE: no you knock on wood

DAELOS: -He's not moving, but at least he's keeping himself busy. He dumped out his tool box into his sylladex to use as a bowl and he's currently melting some snow over the fire.-

KARKAT: =huffs and clasps his hands together, using some of the hope-given seadweller strength to WHUMP the ice=

ICE: >O< =it cracks, spiderwebbing across the ice about four feet.=

DAELOS: -He had some tea packets in his sylladex. No sugar or anything but beggers can't be choosers. Tries to make tea.-

KARKAT: =That.... is a big spiderwebbing.... it's under his ass isn't it?=

[[ Yup. ]]

DAELOS: -Not paying attention to any of this yet. He assumes the youths are just horsing around and using good judgement.-

[[ Though it takes longer for the water to boil since it's SNOW, Daelos will find success with creating leaf water. ]]

DAELOS: -CRAFTING NOISE !!! ***-

KARKAT: ..... =Scoots.... back.... Don't let his glorious ass crack this ice=

ICE: ...

ICE: =cracks?=

ICE: =a teeny bit more=

DAELOS: -slides one of the compartments out to use as a very inconvenient tea cup and carefully passes the piping hot leaf water to his lady love <333.-

KARKAT: =DEEP RESIGNED SIGH, takes off his jacket at least and chucks it to the side=

DAELOS: -HE WILL SHARE. but she gets the first sip-

DAVE: karkat im hungry

ARANEA: -flutters wings while accepting the cup.- Thank you, Daelos. -smiles up at him and just lets it warm her hands for a moment-

TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NG P34CHY OV3R TH3R3?

DAELOS: -What a pretty smile she has. They are on a snow date. In the freezing wilderness.-

DAELOS: -raises his voice- There is hot tea

DAELOS: When you all are finished with

DAELOS: That!

TEREZI: :D

TEREZI: W3LL DON3 Z4HH4K! =that's twice she's said that to him now=

KARKAT: BOTH OF YOU PICK AN ASSCHEEK OF MINE AND NIBBLE IT YOU JACKASSES. =shouts back to Daelos=

KARKAT: KEEP AT LEAST HALF OF IT FOR THE FRIGID ASS FEEDING YOU YOU USELESS PRICKS!! =PUNCHES the ice just take him now watery abyss=

DAELOS: -Snorts in OFFENSE. How rude!-

KARKAT: =Fine then STARVE=

ARANEA: - VERY rude...-

ICE: =KARKAT WHY???!=

ICE: =CRACK!!!!!!!!!=

ICE: =gives way=

KARKAT: =SPLOOSH, swims off=

DAELOS: -He doesn't eat meat anyway, but he was being polite about mentioning it.-

KARKAT: =Goodbye forever=

DAELOS: -He will have to forage for roots himself later-

TEREZI: HOLY SH1T K4RK4T! =she's running to the shore=

DAELOS: -Concerned whinny-

MINDFANG: -She was gathering more wood for the fire and comes back with two arm loads of tinder and just in time to see the figure in the distance that is karkat vanish through the ice.- .........

MINDFANG : (Outstanding.)

REDGLARE: -BUZZING OVERHEAD-

REDGLARE: ...-SIGHS-

FISH: =IS CHUCKED OUT THE WATER=

FISH: =Why this. Why me=

MINDFANG: -Looks up at Redglare like "you going to bother with that or...?"-

KARKAT: =If Terezi is close enough she's gonna get slapped by at least two more fish=

DAELOS: -Spoilers, it's Alaska, he won't find anything. He'll have to eat fish.-

REDGLARE: H3 h4s g1lls.

TEREZI: =she ducks with the first one but the second hits her squarely in the middle and her legs go flying up in the air=

DAELOS: Do you suppose I should assist

DAELOS: -THEY SEEM TO BE FALLING A LOT-

MINDFANG: Ah. That's new. -She's no longer vaguely concerned and moves to finish piling up the wood before sitting by the fire itself and rubbing her shoulder that links to the robotic arm.-

DAELOS: -Of course if he went near the ice, it'd just all crumble...-

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: -flutters down towards Terezi, pokes the fish with her staff.-

FISH: =THRASHES VIOLENTLY=

KARKAT: =Man look at all these fish. As soon as he throws enough that can feed them for the night he emerges SCREAMING= WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL IN THIS ABOMINABLE FROST-BEASTS ASSHOLE!??!

FISH: 8O

FISH: =uses Splash!=

REDGLARE: -gives it a good, hearty stab. go to sleep fishy.-

DAELOS: -FISH MURDER.-

REDGLARE: W3 h4v3 food now.

FISH: =flap flap flap!!!=

DAELOS: -He's used to it with Nyalah, but it never fails to sadden him.-

TEREZI: =still on her back, staring up at the sky=

FISH: =is still=

NYALAH: -OH. Is Terezi part of the fresh kill pile? Nyalah is depositing another rabbit with her. Dead, of course.-

TEREZI: TH4NKS NY4

MINDFANG: -Watching all of this happen while trying to get warm so her body stops screaming in the form of aching joints and muscle.-

NYALAH: - 👁️👁️Would Arissa like a massage? She's good at those.-

DAELOS: -Cease...-

MINDFANG: -No, she would like the circuits in her metal arm not to freeze.-

DAELOS: -He could help possibly. But i'm going to bed so...-

MINDFANG: -Side eyes Nyalah looking at her though.- ..... can I help you.

REDGLARE: -just sorta. picks up Terezi by the sides.-

NYALAH: look stiff -wiping her paws of blood in the snow.-

TEREZI: G3TT1NG F1SH3D

TEREZI: TH4T W4S 4 F1RST

TEREZI: =Pats Redglare's shoulder= H3H3H3H3 TH4NKS

TEREZI: =she glanced over at Karkat though, a little concerned that he might turn into an actual icicle. That water is cold as balls.=

MINDFANG: -Blood has no effect on her she has seen plenty.- I look stiff 8ecause I am. MINDFANG: Metal cools much faster then the rest of my 8ody does. While the arm is more or less insul8ted and water proof, the 8rilliant designer of this piece of equipment also provided it with cold sensors.

MINDFANG: And also the frozen metal and rubber feels just /peachy keen/ against the flesh stump of my shoulder.

KARKAT: =He's hauling himself out and shivering, just. Living with his mistakes but kicks the flopping fishes away from the hole MOVE OVER BITCHfang he's taking place next to the fire and stripping his shirt off. Wringing it out and throws it over..... some kind of stick over it to dry=

NYALAH: -👀 tbh -

MINDFANG: -Karkat is free to join her, but she isn't makin a show of moving over.- I'm impressed with you cold tolerance. -@karkat-

MINDFANG: Plenty would have died in that water. It's a surprise you didn't.

NYALAH: -prowls over to sniff the metal arm.-

KARKAT: THANKS, IT'S MUCH HIGHER THAN MY "WATCH PEOPLE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT STARVE TO DEATH IN A WASTELAND" TOLERANCE.

MINDFANG: ! -Pulls her arm away from the sniffing.-

NYALAH: -settles by MFG anyway. Pulling out a joint.... and starts to light it.-

MINDFANG: -Drugs are for losers, but damn if she's considering pulling out her own cigarette right now.-

NYALAH: -offers her a pass of the doobie anyway.- B??

MINDFANG: No thank you. -She waves it off but is giving in and taking out one of her cigs. Does nyalah have a lighter she's willing to share?-

TEREZI: =she's deboning and gutting the fish Karkat caught by the frozen water=

NYALAH: -waves her lighter around. Maybe if she asks nicely.-

MINDFANG: -Gross.- Care to lend me that for a moment.

NYALAH: -tosses it at her.- k33ps

MINDFANG: -Snags it out of the air and smoothly lights her cigarette before taking a long overdue drag.- Thanks.

MINDFANG: -Puffs out smoke into the freezing air.-

NYALAH: hot -remarks, not even hiding the fact she's watching.-

MINDFANG: Generous, o8servant and truthful. Not terri8le qual8ties.

[[ The irregular wind patterns blow the puff of smoke back in mindfang's face. ]]

MINDFANG: -BITCH WEATHER.-

NYALAH: other ways to be the terribles

MINDFANG: -Squints to protect her good eye from the blow back.-

MINDFANG: There certainly are.

WIND: =ruffles up her hair=

WIND: =knocks off her hat=

GROUND: =gives her a wedgie=

NYALAH: -eyes grow round at this sudden weirdness.- ..............................whet

MINDFANG: -ALASKA CAN FUCK OFF. And good thing she wasn't wearing a hat.- (Fuck!)

MINDFANG: -Holds the cig between her lips as she fixes her hair.-

[[ It's not weird. It's just normal human weather. Which, yeah, is a bit weird. ]]

MINDFANG: -Is the weather going to keep harassing her? Is she going to need to tie her hair back to protect it?-

WIND: =WOOSH!=

NYALAH: -staring at her doobie... she's barely had 1 maybe 2 hit.-

MINDFANG: -Gdi. That's it she's quickly braiding her hair to keep it from becoming a tangled mess later.-

MINDFANG: Are you alright there. Or are you already faded.

MINDFANG: -Speaks at her while staring at the fire.-

NYALAH: only watching

NYALAH: sp33ks when spoken to ye

NYALAH: -the temptation to bat her braid is so overwhelming-

MINDFANG: -Do so at your own risk.-

WIND: =nudges the very tip of mindfangs braid. OH the temptation=

NYALAH: -she is not strong... she baps, ever so gently-

MINDFANG: -Just as fast as she had grabbed the lighter earlier she is trapping Nyalah's hand in a tight, chilly steel grip.-

MINDFANG: -Slowly turns her head to look at her again.-

MINDFANG: I care a gr8 deal for my hair. Do not touch it without permission. -Don't touch her in general without permission.-

NYALAH: -she sure likes dying and being dead. Just gazes with her hand caught like it is.-

TEREZI: =is return with 1 rabbit and several fish fillets. awww....they're holding hands!=

TEREZI: H3Y 3V3RYON3

TEREZI: TH4NKS TO NY4L4H 4ND K4RKL3S W3 F34ST TON1GHT >:]

TEREZI: WHOS HUNGRY?

MINDFANG: -Waits a few more moments for any sort of verbal response but when none comes she releases the cats hand.-

MINDFANG: -Sucks the entirety of the rest of the cigarette in one go, holds it for a few counts, and then breathes it out.- If you need help cooking, feel free to inform me. -Doing it herself is better then letting someone else burn their food supplies to ashes.-

NYALAH: hurt -staring at mindfang.-

MINDFANG: You aren't hurt. Try wiggling your fingers and you'll see that.

NYALAH: speaks to me like this

NYALAH: again -rasps. A request, a warning, it's hard to tell.-

MINDFANG: .........

TEREZI: =she's going to....go over here now.=

MINDFANG: -This cat is weird.-

TEREZI: =She settled on the other side of Karkat, bemoaning the lack of seasoning. They can always cry on it, she supposed. Where was Flavortown when you needed them?=

NYALAH: -way too wide eyed and hyper focused on Mindfang's movements. None chill cat.-

MINDFANG: -Narrows her eyes at the cat. Nyalah is making her uneasy with all this staring.- If you have a pro8lem with me say it.

MINDFANG: And do not expect an apology for half crushing your hand.

NYALAH: bitch does as bitch is none apologies no

NYALAH: but even she n33ds sl33ps too

NYALAH: cant be speakings as she does

NYALAH: if she has no tongue

TEREZI: =glancing between these two=

NYALAH: -huddled, coiled and dangerous with eyes that are reliving one too many unpleasant things with her hard stare at MF.-

MINDFANG: Oh I'm sorry the wind seems to muffle voices at times, for a moment it sounded like you were threatening me.

MINDFANG: 8ut o8viously that can't 8e the case, 8ecause you would have to 8e either incredi8ly stupid, or have a wish of self destruction.

MINDFANG: -Stares back at her, the coldness of the air has nothing on the ice in her eye. Do you really want to take her on?-

NYALAH: -imagining very loudly what it's like to gouge out that eye staring down at her. If Mindfang's empathy abilities mean anything.-

NYALAH: -continues staring unblinkingly with the words that circle in her thinkpan. Reminding her of the echo excuse she was for a troll.-

NYALAH: death would be favor

NYALAH: wouldnt have to listen no more

NYALAH: wins for me either way

MINDFANG: -She feels a vague sense of Nyalah's intent towards her. It helped that for a moment she had been trying to pry her way into Nyalah's mind in her subtle way that would feel nothing more then an slight itch.-

MINDFANG: Then it's a shame im not currently in the market of executing mem8ers of our party. You have use, don't go looking for serious injury.

NYALAH: bite deep nook

NYALAH: coward -It's amazing how she keeps her voice at the same volume, the same rasp, the same tone as she says terrible things.- and eat the words you says

NYALAH: wheres they belong

MINDFANG: -The only reaction that comes from her is a small smile stretching across her lips.- What charming ideas.

MINDFANG: -At that she is standing and dusting herself off as if they weren't just having this rather heated conversation.- I 8elieve I'm warm enough to 8e useful again. -It never hurts to have more firewood.-

NYALAH: bye arrisa -watching her go. She IS going to have to sleep some time.-

MINDFANG: -You'd be surprised how little she actually sleeps.-

MINDFANG: -Waves Nyalah off as she leaves.-

[megamanx1994]

Crash Bandicoot Homecoming Chapter 3

(This chapter and the next borrow quite a bit from the Bon Bon story arc of SVTFOE)

Crash was at the school helping out with decorations. An old face came by to assist. “Sup chilluns?” asked Crunch. Crash and Coco went to give Crunch a hug. “Ew, you smell like bacon,” said Coco. “So let’s here it lil brutha,” said Crunch. “Hear what?” asked Crash. “About your homecoming date,” said Crunch. “Well…” said Crash, “It didn’t work out.” “I knew this would happen,” said Crunch. “Yeah,” said Crash with his face down. “Let me tell you something,” said Crunch, “Before Cortex turned me into a puppet, I was the coolest guy in high school. And I had my eyes on a pretty girl.” “Tell us something we don’t know,” said Spyro. “Shut up fool, I’m tellin’ a story!” said Crunch, “Anyways, when I went to confess to her, she already had a boyfriend. That made me realize something; there are two types of people. Those who dance, and those who don’t.” “Um guys, can I get some help here?!” asked Marco. “I get it,” said Crash, “I’m a dancer, a crazy kind of guy, but Tawna isn’t.” “Guys!” said Marco, “Help!!” “You just need to find a girl who’s pathetic and fun loving, like you,” said Crunch, “Believe me lil brutha, I know you’ll find her.” “Thanks,” said Crash. “Do you need a hug?” asked Crunch. “No, no I do not,” said Crash. Crunch hugged him anyway. “You’re welcome,” said Crunch. Marco fell on the ground. “My leg!” he said, “I can’t feel my leg!!” “That’s my leg!” said Star. Ooh child by the five starships Crunch: Ooh-oo child Things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child Things'll get brighter Ooh-oo child Things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child Things'll get brighter Coco: Some day, yeah We'll get it together and we'll get it all done Some day When your head is much lighter Some day, yeah We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun Some day When the world is much brighter Marco: Ooh-oo child Things are gonna be easier Ooh-oo child Things'll get be brighter Star: Ooh-oo child Things are gonna be easier Ooh-oo child Things'll get be brighter Everybody: Some day, yeah We'll get it together and we'll get it all done Some day When your head is much lighter Some day, yeah We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun Some day When the world is much brighter Jackie saw Crash walking by. She was also remembering the good time she had with Crash yesterday. “I know that look Jackie,” said Janna, “You like him don’t you?” “Yeah,” said Jackie. Everybody: Some day, yeah We'll get it together and we'll get it all done Some day When your head is much lighter Some day, yeah We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun Some day When the world is much brighter “Just leave it to me and I’ll hook the two of you up,” said Janna. “Really?” asked Jackie, “You’d do that?” “You bet I would,” said Janna Janna: Ooh-oo child Things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child Things'll get brighter Ooh-oo child Things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child Things'll get brighter Right now, right now Tiny and Dingo were on the way with the goods. Tiny bumped into a machine. “Tiny you idiot!” said N. Gin, “What did you break now?!” “What’s going on down there?!” shouted someone. It was Dr. Cortex. “Cortex, I believe you were looking for this,” said Dingo. He handed him the crystals. “Excellent,” said Cortex, “Maybe you’re not as stupid as I thought you were.” “So what about our payment?” asked Dingo, “We took a huge paycut on this.” “Of course,” said Cortex as he handed them their checks. N gin took two of the crystals and placed them in the machine. “Now we can begin our little project,” said Cortex. “This place reminds me of science class,” said Dingo, “I didn’t learn a damn thing in there.” He laughed wildly. “Only one more ingredient,” said Cortex as he pulled out four canisters, “With this machine, I can reverse my plan. It will take a human and give them a sample of animal DNA. Dingo was playing with two of the canisters. “Put those down!” said Cortex. “Sorry boss,” said Dingo. He accidentally mixed the dingo and crocodile canister. “The machine is ready,” said N. Gin, “Now all we need are a couple of test subjects. “Cortex looked at Tiny, Kong, and Dingo. “Oh I believe we have perfect candidates,” said Cortex. He took some of the cerium and placed it in needles, then stuck them in Tiny, Dingo, and Kong. They started to transform. “What is happening to us?” asked Dingo. “I don’t know!” said Kong, “But I kinda like it!” Soon afterwards the 3 of them were humanoid animals. Kong was a koala, Tiny was a tiger, and Dingo was a dingo and crocodile hybrid. “Whoa, Tiny, you’re a tiger!” said Dingo “And you’re a Koala,” said Tiny. “And you’re a…..” said Kong looking at Dingo, “I don’t know WHAT you are!” “Let me look!” said Dingo as he looked in a mirror, “Ha! I’m a dingodile!” “It is a success,” said Cortex. “I like it!” said Kong. “Me too Koala Kong!” said Dingodile. “This is the start of a new army,” said Cortex, “Bring more crystals, and I’ll double your pay.” “We still keep the checks right?” asked Dingodile. “Yes,” said Cortex. “Then we’re in,” said Dingodile. Crash was counting down to the days when the dance was coming up. “A few more days and I still don’t have a date,” said Crash, “I’m gonna stick out lik a sore thumb at this rate.” “Crash chill out,” said Coco, “I’m sure you’ll find someone that likes you for you.” “Coco’s right,” said Star. “Hey Crash, is someone sitting there?” asked Jackie. Crash looked at her and she looked very familiar. “Yeah, you are,” said Crash as he opened his seat for her. “Star, c’mere!” said Janna, “I got it!” “You don’t mean?” asked Star. “Oh I mean,” said Janna, “The cake of Bon Bon the Birthday Clown!!!” “Who?” asked Marco. “This old clown that celebrates birthdays,” said Janna, “We were gonna go see if the legend was true.” “OH what the hell,” said Marco, “I’ll tag along.” Star and Janna were staring at something. “Something wrong?” asked Marco. “Look,” said Star. They were all watching Crash talk to Jackie. He came back to them with a huge smile on his face. “What happened bro?” asked Coco. “Jackie Lynn Thomas just asked me to go to the dance with her!” said Crash. “Get outta town!” said Marco. “I’m serious!” said Crash, “Oh my god I gotta get a tux and stuff!” “How’d that happen?” asked Coco. “I set the two of them up,” said Janna, “I knew Jackie liked Crash and I decided to do her a favor.” “GET OUTTA TOWN!!!” said Marco Star and Coco in unison. “I’m serious,” said Janna. “Janna, thanks,” said Crash. “No problem,” said Janna, “Just remember to keep it in your pants.” Crash blushed. “I’m just teasing dude!” said Janna as she laughed. “We gotta get you a tux,” said Coco, “Luckily your little sister knows just the place.” A few more days counted down and finally it was the night of the dance. Crash was putting on some cologne and he tripped. “Watch where you’re going Crash!” said Janna. “What the hell are you even doing here?!” asked Crash. “We’re getting some more supplies for the séance,” said Marco, “My house was the best spot.” “Great, now my backside smells like Calogne,” said Crash. Janna smacked it. “Nothin’ wrong with that,” said Janna. The doorbell rang. “Shit!” said Crash, “She’s here!!” He rushed into Marco’s room to go change. “I’ll get it,” said Marco’s mom. She opened the door and saw Jackie. “Oh hey Star,” said Jackie, “Hey Angie, hey Marco.” “Hey Jackie,” said Star smiling, “You look like the ocean.” “Thanks Star,” said Jackie, “Hey Janna.” “Hey,” said Janna who was busy with a flashlight. “Hey Jackie,” said Crash who came down. He had on an orange suit and orange tie, and had his hair redone. “Woooooowwwww,” said Jackie. “Aww you look so cute,” said Angie. “My sister took 10 minutes doing my hair,” said Crash. “So ready to go?” asked Jackie. “You bet,” said Crash as he took Jackie’s hand. They were walking to the dance. “Well, time to go find us a dead clown,” said Marco, “Let’s go!” There was an awkward silence between Crash and Jackie. Crash finally spoke. “So what are some of your hobbies?” asked Crash. “Lots of stuff I guess,” said Jackie, “Like skateboarding which is on the top of my favorite things, and I’m also into history books like this one about…” “Interesting,” said Crash, “What’s your favorite music?” “Mellow stuff,” said Jackie, “I’m also into pop music which really gets me pumped.” “Cool,” said Crash, “So….” “Wait,” said Jackie, “You got something on your face.” She looked at it and saw some questions on Crash’s hand. “Dude you don’t need that,” said Jackie. She wiped it off of him. They were inside. “Let’s see what’s going on,” said Jackie. She saw the hot wings girl at the snack table, and some people playing basketball. “Corsage for the lady?” asked the head of the college. “No thanks,” said Crash. “But its mandatory,” said the principal. Crash looked at someone put a corsage on his date. “Its cooked you clutz!” she said. She smacked him. “Ouch,” said Jackie and Crash at the same time. “Jinx,” said Crash. “I feel like I made a mistake though,” said Jackie, “I never should’ve asked you to the dance.” “Yeah…. You’re right,” said Crash, “Why would anyone go with a geek like me to the dance….” “I should’ve just asked you on a date,” said Jackie. “Wha?” asked Crash. Jackie smiled at Crash and asked, “Do you wanna go on a date with me?” “Yea….” Answered Crash. “C’mon,” said Jackie, “Let’s blow this place.”

[artbyabiola]

Last month I decided to take my very first solo trip and went to Cuba!!

If you google Cuba, the images that show up are paradise on earth like, go ahead google it, a series of enhanced images of the colorful buildings, colorful people and colorful cars is all you will see.

I have been infatuated with Cuba for a long time, partly because of their strong Nigerian cultural ties but mostly because for some odd reason, I was convinced that Cuba was THE place I would fit in, no questions asked. ( I was asked if I was Cuban quite a few times which made me very happy!)

Boy was I in for a big surprise! Before I start breaking down the many ways in which reality is not what I expected, let me start by saying that I absolutely LOVED my experience. 10 days, 4 cities, a lot of walked miles under my belt and I would do it all over again, but this time with a more realistic perspective. So here I present to you

10 things no one ever tells us about Cuba

1. It’s not love at first site

The moment I landed one thing was clear: 1st world problems were not going to be in sight for the rest of my stay. As I got of the plane and walked inside the airport – yup you read that right-  for a second I thought I had actually landed in Lagos, Nigeria instead (can you guess which on these is NOT Cuba?)

2. Buildings do not come with a filter

While getting lost in Havana, I couldn’t help but ask myself if people purposely ignored the non colorful part of the city because they made them uncomfortable. The city – the real city not the perfectly trimmed and curated touristic part of it – was gray and decrepit, certain corners smelled from people urinating, the risk of being hit by dirty water thrown out of a window was as high as the risk of stepping in dog poop and yet I found it absolutely beautiful.

3. People aren’t happy go lucky all the time

One thing I had my mind set on doing while in Cuba, was to take pictures of people. Beautiful faces caught off guard as they went about their happy colorful lives. Once there I noticed that those faces were closer to stressed and tired than happy.

Did you know the average salary is between $12-20 a month. I found that in Havana ( the country side had a lighter feel to it) a lot of time, once it was established that you are a tourist, people would smile and speak if they had ulterior motives. On my first day I met a young lady that “casually” took me around the neighborhood, by the end of the tour I some how ended up buying her drinks, dinner and more drinks for her friend, that just so happened to show up at the same place at the same time. When time came for me to leave, she asked for money and when I couldn’t help the smiles were done for the evening. I ran into her again on my last day, the smiles were still not there nor was a “hello”.

4. Shovinism to the tenth power

Prequel: I like to live an healthy life style and work out pretty consistently, prior to my trip I posted on facebook that my current fitness goal was for me to “only respond to mami” once in Cuba…yea, so that took a very different turn and not for the best.

Men in Havana can’t even bother to call you mami or any other noun for that matter, they go straight for the teeth sucking, whistle dog calling method. It was annoying and somewhat very degrading, but manageable, until the day that one particular “man” decided to take it to the next level by cat (dog?!) calling me, to then proceeding to masturbate while still attempting to call me and some how, in his twisted mind trying to get me to join him. Yea well, that obviously was not the outcome, I went to the first police officer I could find and described the perv, who saw me go to the police, and made a very quick U- turn the opposite direction. Needless to say that completely changed my mood for the day, the next man that fixed his mouth to whistle at me was the one that caught the wrath that had been building up until that point: “Do I look like a dog? No?! Then STOP calling me as if I were one” I screamed at him, and went about my business – that actually felt pretty darn good!

5. Amazing art world

I knew Cuba and specifically Havana was known for the architecture, but I had no idea of how fantastic the visual art world in that country was. Between the street art

the many local artists

and the artists on display at the Fabrica de Arte Cubano, I could not get enough.

6. The “innenet”

If you are like me or like majority of the modern population WIFI runs a big part of your daily routine. Well, not it Cuba it will not. I was aware, or rather I had been warned that wifi was not as readily available as what I am used to, what I did not know, is how it actually worked. If I think of an area with wifi, I think of something like Starbucks or any coffee shop really, where I show up with my devices and tah-daaaa I am online for free.

ok so THAT, is not how it works in Cuba – there are WIFI areas through out the city, and you would know because that’s where you will find . bunch of people sitting on the sidewalk or standing around staring at their phones or on their laptops – think Pokemon game phase. To be able to actually get online, everyone has to buy an internet card. They were 1 CUC for 1 hr (unless you did not know any better and bought them at an hotel and got charged 8CUC – yes I am the dummy ). To buy a card your information (name, DOB, country of origin if you are a foreigner, etc)  has to be written down, and your internet activity monitored by the government – let that synch in. What I actually realized in those 10 days was how much time I truly spend online on the daily basis and how much more time to just be and chase butterflies I was able to find without it.

7. Cubans ARE for Cubans

I have never been in a country where people were so strongly and genuinely for each other and their country. People lived life with their doors open to the outside, neighbors stopping by to simply talk through the window, children running around freely with not a worry in sight. Random people knowing the entire history of their country – granted I know they were trying to hustle me into a paying tour, and as far as I know they could have been making up all those facts, but they sounded pretty accurate nonetheless. Cubans have a different currency that tourists are not allowed to use, to ensure the cost of things are a lot lower and more affordable to them. There are Cuban only services but my favorite part is that there aren’t “white-cubans” “black-cubans” “asian- cuban” and so forth, but simply cubans all treated equally, all making the best of what they have.

8. Old Havana

Like most people that have visited Cuba I had to make my expected rounds in Old Havana and take the classic pictures…

  The city is beautiful, decadent and everything ever described online, but that as it turned out was such a small part of the whole story. the colorful buildings aren’t as vibrant as I thought ( damn you filters – insert fist shaking) and the rest of the city is far from the average google search result. It’s like tourist conveniently forgot to capture the reality around them….or they simply decided to focus on what didn’t make them uncomfortable.

9. The cars are old..like REALLY old

The same false advertisement I felt for the city scapes, goes for the cars. These old classics are beautiful and perfect for photo ops, I mean it is like jumping back to the ’70���once you get in and sit in one, you realize that the cars actually did come and stayed in the 70s. the inside of the cars are old and definitely went through a lot of lives and butts. I thought that was actually cool and an indication that somebody out there is a master car repair guy, because those cars were OLD!

10. There is so much more than Old Habana

In the 10 days I spent roaming Cuba I was able to visit Viñales, Trinidad and Cienfuegos. I honeslty ended up liking these country towns a lot more than La Habana.

I found people to be a lot more genuine and open. Prices were also a lot lower which never hurts, but mainly the views and the nature scapes I was able to explore were absolutely breath taking.

Viñales:

Viñales

Horse ride in Viñales

Viñales

Tobacco factory in Viñales

Trinidad:

Tobacco factory in Viñales

Cienfuegos:

If you go to Cuba, go with an open mind, explore get lost and meet Cubans, you can have a beach photoshoot ready vacation just as well in Miami – Veradero is the main beach resort (that i was told about) where everyone goes. After finding out that locals are not even allowed to enter the premises and the beach that is part of the resort, I decided to skip that destination all together, but what I found was so much better. Honestly i could write about this trip forever, but I wont don’t worry!

I cannot wait to go on my next solo trip!If you have any suggestion on destinations drop them in a comment!

Ciao for now,

Aby

In case you have not heard me speak about it enough....I went to Cuba I loved it, and now I wrote about it!:) Last month I decided to take my very first solo trip and went to Cuba!! If you…

[artbyabiola]

Last month I decided to take my very first solo trip and went to Cuba!!

If you google Cuba, the images that show up are paradise on earth like, go ahead google it, a series of enhanced images of the colorful buildings, colorful people and colorful cars is all you will see.

I have been infatuated with Cuba for a long time, partly because of their strong Nigerian cultural ties but mostly because for some odd reason, I was convinced that Cuba was THE place I would fit in, no questions asked. ( I was asked if I was Cuban quite a few times which made me very happy!)

Boy was I in for a big surprise! Before I start breaking down the many ways in which reality is not what I expected, let me start by saying that I absolutely LOVED my experience. 10 days, 4 cities, a lot of walked miles under my belt and I would do it all over again, but this time with a more realistic perspective. So here I present to you

10 things no one ever tells us about Cuba

1. It’s not love at first site

The moment I landed one thing was clear: 1st world problems were not going to be in sight for the rest of my stay. As I got of the plane and walked inside the airport – yup you read that right-  for a second I thought I had actually landed in Lagos, Nigeria instead (can you guess which on these is NOT Cuba?)

2. Buildings do not come with a filter

While getting lost in Havana, I couldn’t help but ask myself if people purposely ignored the non colorful part of the city because they made them uncomfortable. The city – the real city not the perfectly trimmed and curated touristic part of it – was gray and decrepit, certain corners smelled from people urinating, the risk of being hit by dirty water thrown out of a window was as high as the risk of stepping in dog poop and yet I found it absolutely beautiful.

3. People aren’t happy go lucky all the time

One thing I had my mind set on doing while in Cuba, was to take pictures of people. Beautiful faces caught off guard as they went about their happy colorful lives. Once there I noticed that those faces were closer to stressed and tired than happy.

Did you know the average salary is between $12-20 a month. I found that in Havana ( the country side had a lighter feel to it) a lot of time, once it was established that you are a tourist, people would smile and speak if they had ulterior motives. On my first day I met a young lady that “casually” took me around the neighborhood, by the end of the tour I some how ended up buying her drinks, dinner and more drinks for her friend, that just so happened to show up at the same place at the same time. When time came for me to leave, she asked for money and when I couldn’t help the smiles were done for the evening. I ran into her again on my last day, the smiles were still not there nor was a “hello”.

4. Shovinism to the tenth power

Prequel: I like to live an healthy life style and work out pretty consistently, prior to my trip I posted on facebook that my current fitness goal was for me to “only respond to mami” once in Cuba…yea, so that took a very different turn and not for the best.

Men in Havana can’t even bother to call you mami or any other noun for that matter, they go straight for the teeth sucking, whistle dog calling method. It was annoying and somewhat very degrading, but manageable, until the day that one particular “man” decided to take it to the next level by cat (dog?!) calling me, to then proceeding to masturbate while still attempting to call me and some how, in his twisted mind trying to get me to join him. Yea well, that obviously was not the outcome, I went to the first police officer I could find and described the perv, who saw me go to the police, and made a very quick U- turn the opposite direction. Needless to say that completely changed my mood for the day, the next man that fixed his mouth to whistle at me was the one that caught the wrath that had been building up until that point: “Do I look like a dog? No?! Then STOP calling me as if I were one” I screamed at him, and went about my business – that actually felt pretty darn good!

5. Amazing art world

I knew Cuba and specifically Havana was known for the architecture, but I had no idea of how fantastic the visual art world in that country was. Between the street art

the many local artists

and the artists on display at the Fabrica de Arte Cubano, I could not get enough.

6. The “innenet”

If you are like me or like majority of the modern population WIFI runs a big part of your daily routine. Well, not it Cuba it will not. I was aware, or rather I had been warned that wifi was not as readily available as what I am used to, what I did not know, is how it actually worked. If I think of an area with wifi, I think of something like Starbucks or any coffee shop really, where I show up with my devices and tah-daaaa I am online for free.

ok so THAT, is not how it works in Cuba – there are WIFI areas through out the city, and you would know because that’s where you will find . bunch of people sitting on the sidewalk or standing around staring at their phones or on their laptops – think Pokemon game phase. To be able to actually get online, everyone has to buy an internet card. They were 1 CUC for 1 hr (unless you did not know any better and bought them at an hotel and got charged 8CUC – yes I am the dummy ). To buy a card your information (name, DOB, country of origin if you are a foreigner, etc)  has to be written down, and your internet activity monitored by the government – let that synch in. What I actually realized in those 10 days was how much time I truly spend online on the daily basis and how much more time to just be and chase butterflies I was able to find without it.

7. Cubans ARE for Cubans

I have never been in a country where people were so strongly and genuinely for each other and their country. People lived life with their doors open to the outside, neighbors stopping by to simply talk through the window, children running around freely with not a worry in sight. Random people knowing the entire history of their country – granted I know they were trying to hustle me into a paying tour, and as far as I know they could have been making up all those facts, but they sounded pretty accurate nonetheless. Cubans have a different currency that tourists are not allowed to use, to ensure the cost of things are a lot lower and more affordable to them. There are Cuban only services but my favorite part is that there aren’t “white-cubans” “black-cubans” “asian- cuban” and so forth, but simply cubans all treated equally, all making the best of what they have.

8. Old Havana

Like most people that have visited Cuba I had to make my expected rounds in Old Havana and take the classic pictures…

  The city is beautiful, decadent and everything ever described online, but that as it turned out was such a small part of the whole story. the colorful buildings aren’t as vibrant as I thought ( damn you filters – insert fist shaking) and the rest of the city is far from the average google search result. It’s like tourist conveniently forgot to capture the reality around them….or they simply decided to focus on what didn’t make them uncomfortable.

9. The cars are old..like REALLY old

The same false advertisement I felt for the city scapes, goes for the cars. These old classics are beautiful and perfect for photo ops, I mean it is like jumping back to the ’70…once you get in and sit in one, you realize that the cars actually did come and stayed in the 70s. the inside of the cars are old and definitely went through a lot of lives and butts. I thought that was actually cool and an indication that somebody out there is a master car repair guy, because those cars were OLD!

10. There is so much more than Old Habana

In the 10 days I spent roaming Cuba I was able to visit Viñales, Trinidad and Cienfuegos. I honeslty ended up liking these country towns a lot more than La Habana.

I found people to be a lot more genuine and open. Prices were also a lot lower which never hurts, but mainly the views and the nature scapes I was able to explore were absolutely breath taking.

Viñales:

Viñales

Horse ride in Viñales

Viñales

Tobacco factory in Viñales

Trinidad:

Tobacco factory in Viñales

Cienfuegos:

If you go to Cuba, go with an open mind, explore get lost and meet Cubans, you can have a beach photoshoot ready vacation just as well in Miami – Veradero is the main beach resort (that i was told about) where everyone goes. After finding out that locals are not even allowed to enter the premises and the beach that is part of the resort, I decided to skip that destination all together, but what I found was so much better. Honestly i could write about this trip forever, but I wont don’t worry!

I cannot wait to go on my next solo trip!If you have any suggestion on destinations drop them in a comment!

Ciao for now,

Aby

10 things they don’t tell you about Cuba (they’re not all bad!) Last month I decided to take my very first solo trip and went to Cuba!! If you…