#but yea just like. smth smth being stabbed in the back and being forced to stab them in turn. mutually assured destruction

[mossyflowers]

Okay u know what I'm not cleaning this up but still throwing it out because I think it's cool

[pinetrest]

Oh, shit! Your Dad called the police on you? Do you mind sharing what exactly happened?

thats actually The Most traumatic event inmy entire life but ive already told it to everyone who would listen so why not share it here too lol.

basically, i have bpd and at that time i was going thru a breakup and was very manic and emotional and suicidal. so the night before i had taken like a bunch of pills (i used to do this thing where even tho i knew it most probably wouldn’t kill me there would still be a chance and thats the only way i’d calm down cause at those times i cant stand being alive but anyways thats too dark)

so i was still coming down from the pills. i was out of my damn mind. i sat there and painted allllll day long, like 7 hours long non stop, they said i was like a zombie. btw the painting i made that day is something so surreal and it honestly feels like something divine guided me while making it im not kidding i was in a trance and theres so many faces in it i dont remember painting at all but here it is -

its creepy as hell yall....

anyways back to the story!

so i wanted them to .. ok i wont share this but i wanted my mom to do smth for me like go to this one place but she didnt want to cause there was no point to go but i was like no please we have to its my only chance blabla and i started kinda threatening them id take my own life .. it was scary i mean i was out of control and i hate talking about this but its true and it happened and its embarrasing but i acted awful and i think i took a knife and said id stab myself in the chest shit was wack hxjdkd so OBVIOUSLY they were worried af but i knew i was exaggerating and wouldnt fucking do that. but my dad took his phone and i heard him say the cliche “hello 911 my daughter is out of control” and my mom was sort of blocking the way from him and i started screaming like WTF HES CALLING THE POLICE ON ME DONT DO THAT???? but she wouldnt budge the poor woman was so scared and i cant blame her :(

i immediately calmed down at this point and there was literally no use for the police to come but they were here 10 mins later and i was calmly explaining the situation and that im ok now but they were like “we dont rlly give a shit we’re takin u to talk to some .. professionals” 🙄 so they took me to some random ass psychiatrist (not my usual one that i love) in an AMBULANCE???

there that bitch ass hoe of a psychiatrist had all my previous paperwork from the two hospitalizations i had that year and allllll the suicide attempts and he was basically like “yea ur at a high risk u need to be behind bars” literally. they decided to throw me in the most infamous asylum of my country, infamous for being literally like a horror film. the things i saw there haunt me to this day. long story short we waited 30 mins for Another Ambulance and i was so mad that i leaped and i think i spat in that psychiatrist’s face and the police were still there so they put HANDCUFFS on me and i rode in silence with one of the officers in an ambulance with handcuffs on for like 40 minutes to the asylum and there the fun just started hhaaahaaa where they forced me to sign and i stayed for a week (when the minimum is usually 3 months but my grandma had actually worked there for like 6 years so everyone knew her and thank god with her and my mom’s help i was out only after a week but GOD do i tell u a week was more than a lifetime long in there and im not exaggerating) but thats a whole another story on its own

tldr im a crazy ass bitch ??? but also FUCK my dad

[ghostbox]

shae and yasin form a val hate club

(the title is misleading just so you know)

it’s not like i enjoy constantly looking through their social media. i hate it. actually, i despise it. i hate being reminded they exist and they’re living ok while hurting others. i feel like the only thing i can do is reach out to those they’ve hurt... it’s hard to keep up with them. they always seem to move on so quickly from victim to victim. they’re just so... vile. nobody deserves the kind of treatment they give out.

however... i’ve noticed that they may have a new victim. though they haven’t posted about them in a while so i can only assume that they did something. looking at their twitter account though it looks... inactive. is it even worth reaching out to them...? yeah, duh of course it is. i don’t doubt they feel alone and helpless... i’ve felt that too many times with that rabid abomination. i’m messaging them.

unholyg0th sent: hey

truthfully, i’m kind of not expecting an answer... i mean the account’s last tweet is from an entire two months ago. this is probably pointless... as i’m already closing the app and about to turn off my phone, i get a notification that someone had messaged me on twitter. it was them. without wasting i second, i go to open it up.

wormydirt62 sent: hi? whos this?

unholyg0th sent: i know this is out of the blue but you were with val at some point right?

wormydirt62 sent: who are you?

unholyg0th sent: oh im shae.

a couple minutes pass as i dont get a response from them. shit, did i scare them off? thankfully, after a couple more minutes, i hear my phone go off again.

wormydirt62 sent: i heard abt u but i still cant trust this is shae

wormydirt62 sent: send a pic of urself holding a sign that says

wormydirt62 sent: idk

wormydirt62 sent: hi yasin

wormydirt62 sent: or smth like that

wormydirt62 sent: just so i know ur shae

wormydirt62 sent: pls

is yasin their name...? i mean i guess i don’t blame them. they must be trying to make sure i’m not just val on a different account. it sounds like something they would do... i obey their request and hastily (and sloppily) write down “hi yasin” in a notebook and take a picture of myself holding it towards the camera. immediately after, i send it right to them and wait a couple more minutes until they finally respond again.

wormydirt62 sent: yea that seems believable

wormydirt62 sent: im sorry i doubted u. i cant be sure who im messaging.

unholyg0th sent: thats understandable. are you ok?

wormydirt62 sent: yea. i think so. u scared me. i thought u were val.

wormydirt62 sent: nvm did u want to talk abt smth

wormydirt62 sent: abt val

unholyg0th sent: yeah. as i asked before were you with val previously?

wormydirt62 sent: i was dating them yea

unholyg0th sent: if im prying too much do let me know

unholyg0th sent: but why did you two break up? did they hurt you?

wormydirt62 sent: i havent even talked to anyone else about it

wormydirt62 sent: but i trust u

wormydirt62 sent: i guess we never properly broke up

wormydirt62 sent: there was just

wormydirt62 sent: one time i refused to listen to them. i had it.

wormydirt62 sent: i was tired of them depriving me from having a friends

wormydirt62 sent: and hurting me from little to no reason

wormydirt62 sent: and the one time i chose not to listen to them

wormydirt62 sent: they freaked out rly bad and killed me

i already started feeling sick just reading what yasin had told me so far. it was all just... too similar to my own. but it looks like val took the extra step and took their life. the poor thing...

wormydirt62 sent: but then i found myself waking up in the middle of the forest

wormydirt62 sent: i was sure val killed me so i wasnt sure why i was alive and breathing

wormydirt62 sent: it wasnt really long until i could tell there were some changes in me

wormydirt62 sent: my cousin says ive somehow changed into a ghoul

wormydirt62 sent: im not sure if val has anything to do with it though

wormydirt62 sent: actually i hope they dont

unholyg0th sent: thats awful... im so sorry that happened to you. you dont deserve what they did to you.

wormydirt62 sent: sometimes i still feel like its my fault

wormydirt62 sent: or maybe like i deserved what they did

unholyg0th sent: no. not at all. you didnt deserve anything they inflicted upon you. they abused and went as far as to kill you. none of the blame is on you.

wormydirt62 sent: i guess

wormydirt62 sent: im still uneasy about that

unholyg0th sent: i dont blame you. i feel the same way after mine and val’s breakup.

unholyg0th sent: just know im here for you. you arent alone yasin.

wormydirt62 sent: thank u

wormydirt62 sent: ur actually rly nice shae

wormydirt62 sent: i knew i should have had my doubts abt what val told me

to no surprise, val seemed to have been lying about me. though i didn’t really want to hear what val had been saying about me. so before yasin could type anything more up, i go to start typing back to them.

unholyg0th sent: of course. i just didnt want you to feel alone.

unholyg0th sent: i know what its like to be hurt by them.

wormydirt62 sent: thank u

wormydirt62 sent: if u dont mind me asking why did u guys break up

i feel my stomach churn just thinking about our dramatic break up. but at the same time... you really wanted to make yasin feel they weren’t alone in the abuse. i begin typing at a slow pace. luckily, yasin seems patient enough.

unholyg0th sent: val abused me both mentally and physically. they even forced me to break contact with the healthy friend circle i had finally gotten myself after so much hard work.

unholyg0th sent: and knowing how violent they were, i was terrified that they would go as far as to kill me if i mentioned i wanted to break up with them. but i wanted to get out of there.

unholyg0th sent: but... i never knew what exactly they were until i took a knife to their chest. i think val truly would have killed me if i didnt know how to run and hide.

wormydirt62 sent: im sorry to hear

wormydirt62 sent: u went through a lot of things with them too it looks like

unholyg0th sent: i did.

unholyg0th sent: i still have to deal with them.

unholyg0th sent: they found out my new home address and they harass and stalk me almost daily.

wormydirt62 sent: oh my god?

wormydirt62 sent: theyre so awful 

wormydirt62 sent: are u ok?

unholyg0th sent: i try to be. i think im slowly regaining back that healthy circle of friends with new people.

unholyg0th sent: so i think i’m going to be fine.

wormydirt62 sent: i hate them so much

unholyg0th sent: me too. i want them to stop hurting people.

wormydirt62 sent: me too

wormydirt62 sent: i havent slept yet so im heading to bed

wormydirt62 sent: thank u for talking with me

unholyg0th sent: go to sleep. you need it.

unholyg0th sent: and no problem. i hope to talk to you more!

wormydirt62 sent: that sounds nice i think id enjoy that

wormydirt62 sent: ttyl

after our conversation had ended, i let out a sigh and put my phone down. the more i hear about val hurting others, the more i wish stabbing them had actually worked out.

[isaacathom]

time to think about various story ideas ive had, yeehaw

ACitDS - Thomas trying to find their parents amidst the angel/demon war. pretty neat. I wanted to make a game out of it so the player could decide which way Thomas swung in terms of angel/demon, giving leeway for players who made mechanical choices against the ‘moral’ choice (cause like, split progression, man. it was gonna be pretty flexible and based mostly on choices within the world, though one route was locked behind a specific skill progression).

ACB - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. war story about a commander trying to protect their homeland, except they arent even a commander in that homeland, and also its just really complicated. I like the individual characters i guess, even if im pretty sure Black themself was... not... my best character. I’ve made more ableist ones (hhhhhh) but that wasn’t my finest, so acb would need a total rehaul to fix that sorta thing. characters neat though.

SFY/414 - the whole gang of criminals help a guard catch other criminals story. or gay suicide squad, as you wish. i like my characters, and i like a whole lot of it, and i like the world. the core premise is a lil shaky but if you get past it, fun times, i think. i love tamjol especially.

SFY/425 - i dont know shit about the civil war plot except that tamjol is there and gets accused of being a traitor after his group finds out he’s a Shonyul, thats a fun one. thats basically the only thing i know for certain about it, that those scenes happen, and maybe one where he confronts his “father” directly, idk, weird stuff all around.

SFY/BTH/386 - sailing time. theres a storm, a mutiny, a second bloodier mutiny, and then a whole ass dragon eats like 2 whole boats without warning, god damn.

CCC - we have established i think that idea slapped i just never wrote shit. i dont remember any of their names. i just know some fuckers got lazered in the chest. tight.

Codename Seren - oh no

Codename Sworl - uhhh bunch of aliens get sent to earth disguised as teen girls to track down a different group of aliens. i remember nothing except that the sworl Charlotte ended up falling in love with a girl called Aaliyah (??????) who was actually one of the enemy aliens, and also that the sworl overlords were trash. everything else, big ol’ no clue.

EC - former MC fanfic, crystal’s sister and BIL get kidnapped by the goddess of fire in order to get the city (of which the BIL is like, the prince?) to do a bunch of specific things so that the fire goddess can release the imprisoned goddess of darkness. also one of the members of the motley gang crystal acquires is actually the fire goddesses missing daughter, and another is the descendant of some of the dark gods closest attendants who bailed and were hunted down. and the other dude is like. the son of a ghost? like? a ghost? like his human ass father found a portal to an afterlife realm and fucked one of the librarians and now their kid is half fucking ghost, I dont get it, also the man had a wife so uh W. Skye’s dad was messed.

GGS - hell yea. gods forming pacts with a bunch of youngsters who die in tragic circumstances (one was a car accident, another got crushed by a tree, and a pair got caught in a burning house). fun times. the car one had the war goddess as her partner and was able to summon a magic gun, the tree one had the god of time and fought with a magic sword while his COMPLETELY HUMAN sister kept tagging along on his missions and using a dustbin lid as a shield to help him out. nice. i love them all.

KoA - i dont remember whats happening there except that one of the kids was like, iron resistant? so she could use magic even when in iron? and fter they got captured by the govt or whatever they found out about her power and things escalated and im like 90% sure they fucking. hit her on the head with a shovel and killed her? i. i dont know why that was what i decided should happen in my novel but there you go, huh. her sister was very upset and i think ended up finding out she was iron resistant too? i dont remember the plot of this.

Kingdom Keys  - crocodile minigame and a littol skeleton man. basically if you found three keys you could access this area and get a wish granted by the goddess, and the skeleton dude had tried this previously and sort of failed? its kind of unclear but i think it was that he’d adventured with the main girls mother for the keys and i think she died? so then he used his wish to save her life? or the other way around? i think he died trying to get either the 1st or 2nd key and at the end the mother made it to the goddess and used her wish to bring him back, except he was a skeleton for Uh Reasons (how fucking long did it take???) and then i think the mother died after, i DONT know. i just remember littol skeleton boy man dude. he was like, 16 but also like 40, i think, i AM Unclear

Mermaid Cafe - there is no plot to mermaid cafe except that a mermaid like, comes on land and hides her identity, goes to a cafe by the sea one day to be a little closer to home, and then gets trapped along with a bunch of other people when the sea goes Very Bad. it was a very weird dream.

Minds Eye - ? gods claim your kids when theyre born and raise them? there was no further plot. i dont remember shit.

Mistakenbound - the last gasp of my hs phase, may it rest in peace. some heart player got murdered for revolution b4 the game starts but persisted as a ghost and pretended to be a blue blood, which while it was based more off the story of Rhia from COdename Seren, is a fuck of an aradia ripoff, whoopsie fucking Daisies

LOTMV - light demigod gets “kidnapped” by a dark demigod, sparks a war, very complicated, i mostly like it. one draft had the light demigod killing her shitty soldier ex-boyfriend at the end of the story after he almost murders the dark demigod, who has all but become her gf in the time since she left home. fun stuff.

Puppeteers Rebellion - buncha voodoo shit, smth about voodoo being outlawed and a countess using her powers in it to try and overthrow the kingdom, being foiled by the princess who she had (inadvertently?) been training at a sewing circle thing. i think?

Re:Memory - rebirth where your actions in your previous two lives determine your class, protag is class 1 (worst) because her last lives where a fucking infant and a murderer. befriends the princess (class 7) and idk what the hell were they planning to do but it was gonna be smth.

RiH - story about a thief with a metal arm trying to save the metal forest from an unnatural rust, aided by a knight who is one of the few people who actually notices their presence. was actually an MSPFA, ripperino, i still have like, 4 panels total and nothing else.

Royalty Story - uhhh country being run by Queen Adelaide acting as regent for her like, 21 year old son, but then she gets taken captive by this woman named Hazel who starts running the kingdom, forcing Adelaides three kids to flee the castle and try and find a solution. idk what was going on. the kids were Jackson, Morgan, Lillian, in order, iirc? cause the naming scheme was -an (sound). i thought it was neat. Lillian was the only one who shortened her name, to i like just Lilli, but Jackson was never Jack. they were neat.

SoaCS - pirate sets off a curse that means they are followed by a terrible icy storm, ends up being cast overboard by their (new) crew and saved by a woman on an island, who then also helps them escape when the storm ravages her home. then they go on a whole thing try to fix the mistake that HE made, resulting in them going back to where he had abandoned his crew in search of treasure. lotta fun. he even directly saves her life at a point where he had failed/refused to save one of his old partners last time, which was neat, but overall she was saving his ass. fun times. never wrote much for that.

Shadow Huntress- idk theres a girl called Blake and shes aways running because she thinks if she stops people will notice the scars of battle with like, The Darkness. physical battle, but also the emotional toll. ends up mentoring a few of her classmates who became hunters sort of incidentally. idk.

TDoC - so theres a demon king in the center of the lake, and around this lake are a bunch of cities with demon lords. and you have to kill the demon lords in order in order to be able to access the demon king and kill him. and there was a mechanic in place where you could only kill one demon lord/king. so the new party who is trying to free themselves from demon rule is accompanied by a group who tried many years prior, and in the first battle one of them fucking dies while trying to kill the lord because it turns out! that in the last attempt! he had succeeded in laying the final blow, and his soul was forever weakened and could not withstand the demonic energy this time, so from the outside he basically stabbed down at this demon lords week spot and then the second his blade made contact there was a burst of energy and he collapses like a sag of bricks who barely lives to the end of the battle to explain what happened. that was neat. i like the idea of the party by the time they get to the demon king being people who had all killed a demon lord, meaning they shouldnt be able to kill the king, but then they all manage to deal the final blow together, with their combined souls withstanding the initial burst of energy and killing him. whether they all die afterwards or just kinda pass the fuck out to be found by their allies outside who react to the demonic death wail, idk. i think its neat. that end sounds kinda cliche but presumably they had their best soldiers (demon killers) and then a handful of people with them who HADNT killed a demon who should have been able to, except the king could fucking smell em and wiped the floor with them early, knocking them out or killing them to focus on toying with the ones he wanted revenge on. I’m down for that. cause then its slightly less of a like, “twist”, since in the planning to kill the king SOMEONE would have noticed that they had to send some non-heroes :P So make sure you do, I guess.

TFOS - princess vs dragon, she has a gun and she wants revenge for her older sister and aso to save her kingdom. aided by a mage a knight and a rogue, bunch of lesbian mfers fighting dragons, Nice.

TFT - proto GGS, main difference was that becoming a demigod was essentially randomised and that there was like. a god of computers. who i think i reworked as a god of technology? or something? tech generally, not computer tech. idk. cherry was cute.

WTDD - the worlds surface is a series of spinning gears with cities and towns on them, and the gears all powered a music box below the earth which kept this colossal dragon asleep. and then one day the gears stop and the dragon wakes up. something like that. the initial thing was world is gears, but id probably shift it to a city or an area? cause the idea of a city constantly rotating sucks ass. admittedly that was straight up the reason the gears stopped in the initial writing, because the villain (??) was sick of the rotation ad fucking. blew a gear up. nice.

YD3N - uhh bunch of robots? one for eac letter of the alphabet (so there was Aden, Byden, Cyden, Dyden, Eden, etc) and Yd3n was the source of all of them. and then a robot called syd3n manages to escape and finds the aid of a local engineer called Ignis Lex, and they try to free their siblings and especially Yd3n, and find out the purpose for the alphabet crew. fun fact, this entire story came about because on the way home from uni I saw a dude in front of me with a jumper that said ‘Sydney’, except the last y was covered and my brain misread what was left as Syden, which is why theyre the protag. Neat.

thats the only ones listed. its missing a few, but i dont remember them much or have names for them :P