#but yah all i need is a general idea of where you are and when you’ll be back

[yourheartinyourmouth]

my spouse keeps thanking me for not giving him shit for going to play warhammer every other Sunday and i’m just like……..babe. you’re an adult. i’m not your parent.

but i get it. so many of the guys from his club have partners who???? don’t let them hang out with their friends??????? like????? what the fuck is that?? like is she your partner or is she your controlling mother??? smh. that toxic heteronormativity, yo.

[iwritebigbellies-blog]

What do you think "caused" your stuffing kink? I'm curious because I can't find any research as to why, biologically, the stuffing kink is a thing. I've had mine since I was old enough to remember, i.e., a toddler - watching cartoon characters eat a lot for a gag and feeling weird about it. I've got no idea what caused it or why my brain is apparently wired this way, especially since (like you, and apparently unlike the majority of the feedism community) it is *just* the stuffing and not wg/etc that turns me on. Just curious about other peoples' (and especially those who, like me, are primarily into the stuffing and not the wg aspect) experiences, I guess.

This got out of hand. Sorry.

TL:DR - I was born this way

Deeper thoughts:

So, when I was very distraught about why I had developed this incredibly inconvenient kink, I did a little bit of looking into paraphilias.

Unlike some other "kinks", this isn't a lifestyle choice (in my case, this is something I need to be sexually satisfied. I do not get aroused without it, I definitely do not cum without it.) It isn't something that is going to "spice up the bedroom" for someone looking for a new kind of fun. It is a flatly non-sexual thing that my brain has decided is hyper sexual. I think a good analogy is a foot fetish. Nobody decides to get into feet for fun. You either sexualize them, or you don't.

I think stuffing falls under fetishistic paraphilia, like the foot thing. There's a prevelent theory that foot fetishism is actually rooted in neurology. The foot section and the genitals sections of the brain are literally just super close together, so a little divergent wiring and boom, the foot is a sexual organ.

This kind of thinking rings the most true to me. Because I can't think of an "inciting incident" or single media that really made an impression on me: I wasn't even allowed to watch tv when I was a kid, so I mostly got my weird feelings from books and comics, and it felt more like recognizing a feeling that was already there than a single jarring experience. Also, because it doesn't feel confusing or traumatic or naughty to me: it's not like I got sex=forbidden, fat =forbidden, ergo fat=sex all jumbled up. There's no feeling of shame in my kink. Just the usual feelings one has about sex things: pleasure, intimacy, indulgence.

I feel like I am just wired different. I truly don't think I could, for example, therapize this away. It feels more like being straight: it is just foundational to my sexuality. It is my sexuality. Nothing made me like this. I just am.

Two tangental things about that:

Look at the people who try to run away from this kink. They always come back. It doesn't change or go away for them. There are a lot of really miserable people in this kink because a) we've pathologized it and b) there has been no real effort to make a welcoming community around paraphilias or fetishes in general. There is no safe space for fetishists. This kind of kills me, because I have talked to a lot of men in this kink and each of them has come at it in a totally different way. They could be helping each other understand this. They should be sharing coping or lifestyle tips. They could be more open about healthy ways to live it or showing success stories with partners and lives. We could all be more welcoming and understanding of the people who wander in here, because this thing isn't going away and we are all we have. We shouldn't be treating it like a disorder or social contagion.

I think being more community-minded would also help with the thing where some of us have "rare" versions of this kink. Cuz, yah, my sexuality is stuffing, not wg. There genuinely don't seem to be many of us. And it isn't cuz I am fatphobic and just want conventionally-hot guys to temporarily fatten up or whatever shit I am being accused of this week...I actually really prefer fat guys in a strictly aesthetic sense. But it isn't foundational to my sexuality. That is a whole different universe.

But because we're treating all of this like a den of iniquity, we're only engaging with each other on a horny level. And if you come at someone horny and they are not equally horny for you (such as when somebody comes at me asking how much weight I'd like them to gain), the conversation ends instantly, often in disgust, and leaves one or the other person feeling shame or guilt.

Those of us with more "rare" fetishes are gonna feel this bounce more than someone with a more conventional fetish. But, dammit, I still need a place, I still need a platform. I need to stand somewhere while I am waiting for the rare person who is actualy on my wavelength. I want to feel accepted and safe as a fetishist, not just horny. I am more than my libido, even as a fetishist.

Gonna throw some numbers out there.

The prevelence of true fetishism in the population is pretty unknown, but some studies have suggested like 11-17% of the male population have fetishistic fantasies, with women reporting in way lower, like 0-10%. But most of those are sort of conventionally sexual people who think it might be hot to have sex in public or with someone wearing cute gloves. The ones who are all-in on being fully fetishy (like me) are more like 0.00125% of the population. Of those, the vast majority are men.

Within the fetishist population, only about 15% are into specific body parts. (0.000002% of everyone, in our back-of-napkin math.) Almost half of those are into feet. There are other groupings: I have never seen "bellies" divided out on its own (though one did single out navels) so we're gonna say we are "other body parts", which is about 13% of body-part fetishists. (Math fails me here... what are we at, like, 0.000000026% or something?) It doesn't even matter at this point, it basically means that, statistically, every person on the planet who is as obsessed with full bellies as I am could fit in a small-town auditorium, and most of them would be men.

(Yah, I know, actual numbers probably much higher because all these studies require people to self-report, and shame/embarassment cuts that way down.)

If this was based on some kind of early conditioning, my feeling is the numbers would be waaaay the fuck higher.

Anyway, I am still mildly obsessed with Jughead Jones. >.>

[autisticlancemcclain]

pt one

———

Hunk’s phone rings. Loudly. Since he is the pinnacle of grace and benevolence, he spares one hand, eyes still trained firmly on the other hand pressing a screwdriver onto a delicate wire joint to hold it steady, to blindly pat about on his workbench until it closes around the device. He jabs a finger on the screen until the ringing ceases.

“Yah,” he says, not bothering with hellos. He’s busy.

“Handle your person,” Shiro hisses, then immediately hangs up.

Hunk snorts. Someone’s nap was disturbed.

He turns back to his project, sighing as he wraps it up. He doesn’t have long. If he can just solder this last wire, get that last connection in, it’ll be way easier to —

Lance kicks open his door, walking in screaming.

“Hello,” Hunk greets idly. And largely sarcastically, he will admit. Lance continues his wordless yell, vocalizing at the very top of his lungs, muffled only when he throws himself on Hunk’s bed and buries himself in Hunk’s pillow. “Shiro tells me you’re terrorizing people.”

“His skull is fucking solid!” Lance screeches.

Hunk does not need to ask to whom Lance is referring. He does, however, pause what he’s doing immediately, spinning around slowly in his chair with his fingertips pressed together like every eighties cartoon villain. His smile can only really be described as gleeful. Perhaps diabolical if he stretches.

He is entirely unapologetic.

“And what happened this time,” Hunk questions, adopting his very best therapy voice. It must work, because Lance shoots up, face bright candy red, wicked snarl pulling on his lips. When he speaks again his voice is carefully controlled and dripping with rage.

“It is beyond hinting, Kealoha. I have practically laid myself at his feet and begged him to ravish me, and he still does not get it. I am going to fucking wring his neck.”

Hunk hums thoughtfully. “Well, that is probably what it’s going to take.” At Lance’s raised eyebrow, he rushes to clarify — “Throwing yourself at his feet, I mean. Don’t strangle him. At least not before I can see it.”

Lance groans loudly. This time when he flops back on Hunk’s mattress he is more miserable than rageful, like a scolded chihuahua. Hunk considers telling him that and then remembers that he’s quite fond of his limbs where they are.

“I know he likes me,” Lance grumbles. “He’s just a dumbass. Like, yesterday he had to go into a healing pod because I did those leg stretches in front of him and he walked into the wall and broke his nose. And last week he said I smelled good and no straight people say stupid shit like that. And when I flirted with that princess on our last mission I was lowkey worried he was gonna jump her, or something. He went all big bad Galra growly and everything.”

Hunk inclines his head. “This is true.”

It is true. Well, he didn’t know the broken nose thing — although that’s hilarious and he will be sharing that information with the class when prudent — and he hasn’t witnessed many of the specific brands of Keith and Lance dumbassery, since they spend so much time on their own, but he, like, has eyes. Keith wants Lance so bad it’s actually embarrassing. Hunk’s not one to generally agree with Lance, since it’s his God-given right to humble him at any opportunity, but that boy is oblivious unlike any other. He understands that Keith is emotionally stunted due to the ordeal of being orphaned, and to Keith he leaves his highest sympathies, but also Jesus Christ, dude. How many times are you going to be wrought with jealousy before you go oh, duh, I might be in love with this goober.

Maybe Shiro hasn’t had the talk with him yet. Hunk makes a mental note to follow up.

“—it’s just that I don’t understand,” Lance laments.

Hunk blinks back to the conversation, where Lance has clearly taken it upon himself to wax poetic and inspire woe upon himself once more.

Hunk stills. An idea wiggles its delightful little way through his brain. He holds up his phone, pointed at Lance’s prone and desolate form.

God, he loves his brain. He loves meddling. He loves love and life, basically.

“I just,” Lance sighs, and to his endless credit he sounds genuinely torn-up, for all his melodrama. “I wish I could just tell him, I guess. In some way. I wish I could get it through his fool head that he is loved by me particularly in such a way that I want to hold hands and kiss and generally be nuisances of the affectionate kind. You know, romance.”

Hunk hums with great understanding. “I see. And say you were not plagued with chronic anxiety and an unfortunate tendency to glow in your face region if someone so much as insinuates in any capacity that they care about you — what would you say to this paramour of yours?”

Lance tilts his head consideringly. His eyes are big and brown and pouty, like a scorned puppy. It’s adorable, in a pathetic kind of way. Hunk cannot help but pat him delicately on the knee.

“I suppose,” he huffs, “that I would just say it outright. Keith Kogane, you magnanimous dumbass, would it kill you to ask me out like a man. Something like that.”

“You could also ask him out like a man,” Hunk points out.

“Choke and die,” Lance responds, predictably. Hunk pays him again.

Hunk stops the recording and tucks his phone back in his pocket. He will decide how to handle the situation shortly.

…After he makes several copies and distributes them to the team. Obviously. Hunk’s excellent advice and matchmaking skills isn’t free, after all.

Lance whines again. “Why is my life so sick and twisted.”

Hunk chooses against reminding Lance that they are in the very beginning of the process of dismantling the worst tyranny the universe has ever seen, and of all the things in his life to be sick and twisted his dweeby romance is probably not one of them. Because that would be a huge buzzkill, obviously. Instead he delicately and a touch condescendingly pats Lance on the head. Lance leans into the touch, because he is a massive sweetheart and dork and nerd, and Hunk can’t help but smile widely.

“All will work out,” he says ominously. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Blah,” Lance says.

Hunk smiles wider.

[sereneres]

strangers, friends, lovers, repeat

CHAPTER 0.6 — SOUR GRAPES / 2.4k

summary. — you were a stranger to sakura back then and she’s a stranger to you right now.

warnings. — based on strange by celeste / angst / heartbreak / mentions of a slur being said

“hey, ━━.”

there’s three– no, four boys standing in front of her and, while sakura had no idea what they had just called her, she had a feeling that it wasn’t a very nice word.

still, her mother had taught–ordered, more like–her to be kind and polite to everyone because she didn’t need another reason for everyone to hate her, so kind and polite she will be. it’s hard, but she deals with it because what else can she do?

“hello.” she says slowly, “do i… know you?” at the end of her sentence, she gives the group of boys what she’s sure is a shakey smile at best and a grimace at worst. whatever it was, it seemed to make the boys frown even more, so maybe she shouldn’t have smiled–or done anything with her lips–to begin with.

“yah, ━━,” that name again. just what did it mean? the way he was saying it made it obvious that it was some kind of… bad word, but one he relished in calling her. a slur, perhaps?

she’s pulled from her thoughts when the boy continued to speak. “we,” he gestured to the four of them, “heard that girls from knee-hon-go–” she had to bite back a laugh at the way he butchered the pronunciation. “were ━━ ━, so we wanted to know if it’s true or not.”

sakura, having barely stopped herself from laughing at the boy’s words, which, disregarding his horrible pronunciation, just sounded wrong in general, cleared her throat. “…i’m sorry, but i have no idea what you said.” she apologizes, trying–and failing–to give them a genuinely apologetic smile.

at least this time, her smile didn’t seem to anger them.

“huh?” the boy asked–he seemed to be the spokesman of the group–raising a brow with a sneer growing on his lips. “you can’t understand? are you ━━ or somethin’?”

“what?”

“‘wHaT?’” one of the boys mocked, making his voice high-pitched as if to mimic her voice but if anything, his attempt at making her looks stupid or whatever only served to make him look stupid.

it seems the boy realized it too, because he immediately followed up with a flustered, “shut up, ━━. acting dumb won’t help you at all.”

she’s not so sure what happens in the next few moments. she thinks one of the boys says something but she couldn’t understand it, partially because of his heavy accent–why did they have so many different accents here?–but mostly because the second he started speaking, she felt someone else–one of the boys who had somehow inched towards her without her noticing–grab a fistful of her hair and pull down-

and so, sakura found herself on the floor, her bare knees scraping against the very rough ground because it was hot and she didn’t want to wear tights, no matter how thin they supposedly were, but thankfully, she was wearing safety shorts under her skirt and- oh wow was that blood?

one inspection later–she squinted at the drop of red liquid on the ground–she concluded that it was, in fact, blood. the only issue is, who’s blood was it? another quick inspection of her legs and hands told her that it wasn’t hers, so-

“what the ━━!” one of the boys yelled, a hand to his nose, a thin stream of blood running down his lips, chin, and neck. “you ━━ ━! you broke my nose!”

ah, so that’s where it came from. the blood, that is.

belatedly, she notices the shoes of another student–where did they come from?–in front of her, and, over the loud thumping in her ears, she could hear the owner of said shoes snorting. “that was the ━━ point.” she mutters, giving the boy a disgusted look before turning to look at sakura, her brows furrowed with visible concern in her eyes. “are you okay?”

“who are you?” she asks, or, rather, blurts out, before immediately regretting her words. she probably should’ve just thanked her for saving her or actually respond to her question but–

“yn.” the stranger–now known as yn–says, smiling. “yn ln. it’s nice to mee- ack!”

later on, as she helped you stand up properly once the group of boys had left with their tails in between their legs or however the saying went, sakura wonders why you had helped her when the two of you were quite literally strangers. was it… what was it called? a hero complex? did you have a hero complex?

whatever it was that you had, a good act should always be returned fully, or so her mother has told her, so she helps walk you to the nurse’s office.

“hey, are you okay?”

sakura purses her lips, giving you the most unimpressed look she could muster up. “i think i should be asking you that, yn-ssi,” she says dryly, gesturing to the darkening bruise on your cheek and forehead, “considering how injured you are.”

“oh, this?” you point at the said injuries, your eyebrow raised comically high. “this’ll go away. i’m more worried about whether or not you’re okay after hearing those idiots call you all those names.”

you then smiled, and she would’ve considered it a rather charming some had your lip not started to bleed from how widely you smiled. “‘m injuries’ll heal ‘cuz they’re physical, but yours might not ‘cuz it’s ━ ‘n all that.”

“━?” she repeats, grimacing at how badly she had pronounced the word. “i’m sorry, i don’t know what that means.”

“oh?” there’s a look of confusopn on your face, though it quickly turns into one of surprise. “oh!”

“what?” sakura asks, feeling somewhat uncomfortable due to the way you were looking at her. “is there something wrong? should i get the… uh, nurse?”

you blink, your brows unfurrowing as your confusion turned into understanding. “oh.”

at this point, sakura has no idea what to say now that all you were saying was, “oh”, in different tones, and it certainly didn’t help that your expression was changing every other second.

“you’re a foreigner.”

it’s less of a question and more of a statement, but either way, it’s enough to make sakura suddenly feel uneasy. she shifts in her chair, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt anxiously as she looked at anywhere but you.

noticing how tense sakura looked at your words, you hastily shake your head–and hands–side to side. “not that that’s a bad thing, of course!” you say, cheeks flushing as you smiled sheepishly at her. “i was just surprised, you don’t really speak like a foreigner.”

“really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and tilting her head. “everyone i’ve met since coming here has said that my accent is very notic…eable?”

“noticeable.” you correct, your lips pursed. “and maybe it is, but i didn’t notice it, so…”

“thank you…?”

it sounded less like an expression of gratitude and more like a question, but, fortunately, you didn’t comment on it.

“anyway, i don’t think i got your name.” is what you say instead, smiling at her.

“ah, i didn’t tell you?” she frowns, eyebrows furrowing as she recounted everything that had happened in the past one hour or so.

you shake your head. “you didn’t. i mean, i think i know it, but i’d like for you to tell me it anyway.”

“oh. uh, my name is sakura.” she laughs nervously, averting her eyes. “miyawaki sakura. i, erm, transferred here a few months ago from japan.”

“really?” you stare at her, your own eyes wide with intrigue and curiosity. “why’d you come all the way here, then?”

“uh…”

“oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!” you say hurriedly, laughing sheepishly. “i was just curious. there aren’t a lot of transfers that come here, much less transfers from japan here, so…”

“it was for my dad’s job.” she muttered quietly, giving you a small smile. she thinks it’s a little cute, the way you fidget anxiously in fear of having said something wrong. “he got a better job opportunity here so we moved. my mom wasn’t all that happy but she agreed because we… uhm, really needed the money.”

sakura isn’t sure as to why she was sharing this much information with you. she wasn’t an oversharer by any means–though you did ask her first–and she was considered a private person by many.

that said, maybe it was just because she needed to talk–she did tend to talk more when she was nervous–or maybe it was because you just seemed so nice and- what did you just say?

“sorry, could you repeat that?”

you blink at her owlishly. “i was just asking you if you wanted to be friends.” you said, and, seeing the incredulous look on her face, you hastily add an, “look, i know it’s a bit… childish of me to ask that, but i just wanted to know if you wanted to be friends or not so that we could hang out. i wouldn’t want to bother you if you don’t, erm, like me, and–”

“okay.”

she probably should’ve said something like, “okay, i’ll be your friend”, or something less confusing than just an, “okay”, but between your nervous rambling and her own nervousness… well, she wasn’t really thinking properly.

“okay…?” you repeat, looking both curious and worried. “what does that mean? do you want to be friends, or are you just saying okay to shut me up, or-”

“the first one.”

“oh.” a pause. “oh!” she’s never heard someone say the word, “oh”, so many times before. “oh-”

“hey.”

sakura is nervous. so nervous, in fact, that she doesn’t even notice you come up to her with a curious look on your face. just looking at you makes her regret ever coming up with this stupid plan. why did she think this was a good idea?!

“hello?” a hand–yours, obviously–waves up and down in front of her eyes, pulling her out of her thoughts. “earth to sakura, are you in there?”

she blinks. “oh, yn, sorry, i, erm, did realize you were here.”

“weren’t you the one who called me here, though?” you asked, raising a brow at the older girl. you’re confused, and rightfully so because, well, as you said, she was the one who told you–or rather, told chaeyeon to tell you–to come here and meet with her. “i mean, technically chaeyeon was the one who told me to come here because you told her to tell me to–”

“i like you!”

oh–excuse her languge–fuck.

sakura is certain that just might die on the spot, and, while she obviously won’t, she’d be happy to just bury a hole right where she stood, jump in, and never come out again because why the hell did she say that?! sure, she was planning on confessing to you today, but not like that, and certainly not so bluntly and without any feeling or any plan-

“you like me?”

huh. not a positive response, seeing as you weren’t blushing or smiling or much of anything, but not a negative one, considering that you did seem disgusted or upset. merely… curious, if your eyebrow raise was anything to go by. perhaps a little confused and a little surprised because, well, your best friend had just confessed to you, but only a little.

needless to say, it’s infinitely better than the reaction she had been expecting and bracing herself for.

to be absolutely, definitely, glass-transparent clear, she wasn’t worried that you would react negatively in a, “ew, you’re gay?” kind of way, mostly because you were gay yourself–there was, of course, internalized homophobia, but that was more chaewon’s thing than yours–and also because you weren’t the type to say that even if you weren’t gay.

no, what she was worried about was being rejected on the spot because she’s been your best friend for years and what if-

“i like you too.”

huh. maybe she shouldn’t have been scared after all.

her cheek stings a little, the pain only exacerbated by the rain pouring on her and on you. that pain is nothing, though, in comparison to the heartache she felt when she looked at your face.

“fine.” you hissed, your hands clenched at your sides. she has no doubt that you’re hurting the same way she is, both physically and mentally. “if you can’t handle this– handle us, we are through.”

she’s sure that her heart would have broken in that moment if it weren't already broken. your teary, empty eyes, paired with the cold look on your face was something she had, fortunately, never seen before, and it easn’t something she wanted to ever see again.

that said, it wasn’t likely that that would ever happen, considering what you had just said.

“okay.” she mumbles numbly, eyes, unknowingly to her, equally as empty as yours, if not more so.

the sight of it makes you grimace, feeling just as hurt as she did, if not more so, seeing her like this, but there’s nothing you can do.

you can’t wrap her up in your arms like you normally would when it felt like the world was torturing the both of you, can’t even stomach the thought of having her warm skin against yours until she starts sweating and whining for you to get off of her because she was starting to get sticky.

you can’t press millions of butterfly kisses on her neck, making her giggle oh so sweetly because she’s always been ticklish, she’s just never told anyone that she was. it’s something you’ve abused multiple times, whenever she was sad or lonely, and it never failed to make her smile again.

in the corner of your eyes, you can see the older girl’s hands twitch at her sides, likely longing to take your hands in hers and wordlessly promise to you that it’ll be alright. that everything will be okay.

she probably wishes–and she does, you just didn’t know that–that she could kiss you one more time, wherever you allowed her to. she’s kissed almost every inch of your body–an exaggeration, though it didn’t really feel like one–and it’s like an arrow to your heart to know that you won’t ever feel her lips on yours–on you–again.

“goodbye, sakura.”

this is the first time she’s ever heard you say her name–you calling her a shortened version of her name didn’t count–since the two of you got together, so it doesn’t surprise her when she feels her tears, which had been waiting for this moment, to roll down her face. unlike the rain pouring down, it's warm, and she clings desperately to it because of that.

“…goodbye, yn.”

previous. / sour grapes. / next.

[0cta9on]

Hoya there bud✌️ This ask is more of a fun discussion about an idol, how I grow fond of them. The idol in question is Jiwoo, NMIXX. Well you can skip my yapping of her and went straight to the ask at the bottom hahahaa.

_____________________________________

After binging quite decent amount of NMIXX content, Jiwoo randomly starting to be "how do I say this" kind of like she's being placed on my soft spot beside Sullyoon. I find her both cute and beautiful at the same time. Her slight bucking teeth and her puffy cheeks lik-arggggghh- so cute, I just want cup her face so bad.

God, I can write the whole ask about her facial feature alone, how I find both her toothy and non-toothy smile absolutely "beauty-cute" (Akhhhhhh my lack of vocabulary can't elaborate how I majestic she looks).

Keep this in mind back then, my first impression of Nmixx or even Jiwoo. "O.O" debut gives me an irk from the start of the song (Now I understand the hype behind it). Their visual overall was decent in my books back then. Before I start stan Nmixx, my only notion of Jiwoo is from countless short of her crying. Of course, my first judgement would be "Those IT GIRL maknae vibe". Look at me now? Nmixx being my top ULT girl group plus I highly regard group with noticeable vocal capability.

There's a cute accident, currently I learn a bit of Korean and by now I can read a bit of Hangeul (Well I learned it through Duolingo, so much debate Duolingo a shit app to learn a language, I don't give a crap, I already can tell the different pronunciation compared to native tik tok content) That time I was just trying my spelling skill in Korean. I want to spell JIU (from Dreamcatcher)

A bit of Korean for yah (This is my assumption on how it sounds like, I self study ok), 지우 > I thought it spell out JIU

지 > 'Ji' (ㅈ = J, ㅣ= i) and 우 > 'U' (우 = 'U')

But then it search up Jiwoo of Nmixx, now google thought my interest was towards Jiwoo and even my tik tok, Youtube, even tumblr filled with Jiwoo, I ain't complaining but it gives some content of her where the side of her I didn't know would be so attractive. So from there I see more of her and starting to fall in love with her.

Whoosh, maybe I know which idol I want to write now hahahah.

_____________________________________

May I know out of all the Nmixx member, How does Jiwoo and Haewon being one of the few Nmixx members you had written story for?

Look at this cutie, the urge to write more of her is killing me, I guess I will save it for her fic in the future.

Hope this give you slight mood booster

Hello mikeylo! First of all, HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU RELEASED A FIC???? I'll read it when I get the chance, 13.2k words is impressive for your first fic :] (word of advice, you should probably put a "keep reading" bar near the beginning :> )

Jiwoo is a cutie :> Nmixx in general are great performers, but I like how she balances out their powerful vocals with her cool rap tone. I would love to write more Nmixx, I just need to finish the billion other drafts I have rn :,]

The Jiwoo piece I have was a short request, so that pretty much explains why I wrote her. If I'm being honest, I don't think I would've ever written her on my own unless I somehow got a really good idea for her :> The other Nmixx members aside from Kyujin rank higher on my list of priorities.

The Haewon smut was written simply bcs I found her hot at the time :> It was the first smut I've ever written, which means it's pretty bad :,] It's not that interesting plotwise and it's littered with corny dialogue, cliches, and mediocre smut. My expectations are a lot higher now, so time between releases has increased a lot since I want to make sure I never write something like Beach Day again :>

Have a Jiwoo <3 This hairstyle on her looks really good :0

[queers-gambit]

I wanted to start writing fics and I have an idea of one I’d want to write but I’m unsure of even where to start. Could you please tell me how your process helps you? Any advice would be greatly appreciate!

Thank you!

hey, cutie pie! what a special message you've sent me. i'm feeling incredibly honored - whether you sent this message or not as a compliment, i don't wanna know, this could-be delusion is very flattering. you think i'm a well enough writer to ask advice from? 10 points to Slytherin.

it was Ernest Hemingway who said, “there is nothing to writing. all you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

unfortunately, i'm one of those people that says, "just start writing". i know this is like throwing you in the ocean without a life vest, but i hope i can teach you how to swim (or at the least, tread water) by breaking this down enough for yah.

please note i am NOT a professional - so everything below is to be taken with a grain of salt

first - welcome to the author community! where we all think we have to publish Pulitzer prize winning stories - every. single. time! and where we think our work is TRASH - every. single. time!

storytelling is a skill that you don't have to be "born with", but you do have to practice and experiment with. even seasoned writers need palette refreshers and to "return to the story drawing board." to me, writing is universally one of the greatest artistic mediums this world will ever know. stories transcend time; think folklore and mythology that date way way way back Before Christ (BC). stories can (mostly) only be built upon and altered - just look at the Bible! written text, yes, but it's diluted by X number of "translations" through the years, scholars, people, factions, economies.

anyways. i think it's REALLY cool you want to write and i honestly love that for you. i hope it's as beneficial to you as it is me.

best piece of advice i can give? be proud of yourself. confidence really shows through writing; it's not being arrogant or cocky, it's knowing you have a story to tell and being determined to tell it. trust me, that energy translates. when you're happy to write, audiences are happy to read; nobody is ever expecting you (or any fanfic writer) to be Chaucer or Shakespeare or Brontë or Poe or Fitzgerald or Tolstoy or Tolkien or Dickens or Eliot or Morrison, they want YOU to be YOU and to read YOUR story.

so have faith in yourself. have pride. find motivation and inspiration.

🍒 general rules of thumb

🍒 write everything down!

it doesn't matter where - just write! every! thing! down! write in a: -> Word document -> Tumblr draft -> good ol' fashioned pen and paper -> Sharpie and cafe napkin and for my Apple people: -> the notes app or Pages document

🍒 always write out the plot - doesn't matter if it's complete, just write it down! it's a tool, and trust me, when writing, think of it as your ankle being shattered and this written plot document is the crutch. it's extremely important to have a general idea of what your story's plot looks like so you can decide what details should be used to beef up the story's authenticity. this will help visualize the web you need to weave. it's a visual end goal. it's the reminder where your story is going. give yourself enough space to add to this idea, to expand it.

i prefer bullet points. experiment to find what works for you!

so, in a structure similar to educational notes, establish the general premise / main idea / main details. this is where you're going to answer (no, not literally), "why write this story? what's the point? what even IS the story? like, what's the plot?" -> if you ponder why you're writing a story and at any point, the answer is along the lines of being self indulgent, please understand, that is valid! write that shit!

🍒 notes are a safe space to write out ideas you might be interested in revisiting. so label everything because you'll revisit often - whether for the next story idea or not.

🍒 Google ― -> what you know to strengthen literary frame. allow this to include refreshment of writing devices. -> any and all words; keep a list of running adjectives, nouns, dramatic diction to give your story personality. -> definitions - even the words you already know! -> what you don't know! -> synonyms!

🍒 don't pay attention to word counts! 5k word fics are just as valid as 1.3k, even 896 word fics! fuck word counts, just tell the story.

🍒 write and rewrite. this is where writing becomes daunting, it's so fucking scary. but all you're doing is trying to find your voice, so write your drafts, then rewrite - rewrite - rewrite - and for good measure, rewrite, rewrite, aaaaand probably rewrite twice more. just allow yourself room to stretch and grow as an author when new and altered ideas come to mind - and when these new and altered ideas come to mind, write! them! down!

🍒 writing is supposed to be fun! 🍒 writing supports your emotional vulnerability! 🍒 be open to inspiration everywhere! 🍒 give yourself time and be kind! 🍒 encourage changes of thought and new directions! 🍒 don't minimize yourself to conform with what is "thought" to fit certain criteria - take authentic risks!

🍒 nonlinear and chaotic writing process

🍒 so... kinda first thing is done internally:

what's the plot? what was the idea formed in my head, inspiring me to write this story? what's the climax? is this idea able to turn into a story? -> i write it down.

which fandom? does my story idea fit into "canon timelines" or the fandom's setting? more or less, i determine if this is an AU or not. -> i write it down.

declare a muse i think BEST suits my story idea. -> i write it down (call that commitment).

now, i like to beef up the plot / climax details, either after the initial idea or establishment of muses. these are the nonnegotiable "dramatic factors" i think the story needs. -> i write it down.

🍒 then i just start writing the actual draft / structured story. i know, i know, i know! this is the worst advice and lots of authors say it. but it just means to start! it means you can start anywhere. it's your story, you're telling it - so you can literally just start because a story can grow in all directions.

🍒 personally, i use the fuck out of skeleton drafts (see below) because i like to revisit and build, restructure, and let seemingly random ideas take natural form almost every single time i sit down to write (which, for the sake of my mental health, is almost everyday).

🍒 i endeavor for mysterious, captivating, intriguing opening sentences or paragraphs and titles. so i'm constantly editing and Googling words, definitions, synonyms, phrases.

🍒 i draw inspiration from everywhere; sometimes from personal conversation and experiences, other books, quotes from movies and songs.

🍒 i strive for authenticity - i personally think it's what hooks an audience, when they can see even the SMALLEST fraction of themself in the story. so i challenge myself to get criminally vulnerable and open - so a lot of my trauma is processed through writing, too.

🍒 i like to employ common literary devices, such as metaphors, proverbs, iteration, personification. but that's a personal choice.

🍒 i often draft the story and then leave it for a bit to "marinate" because at the most random and often, inopportune, times, i'll have new ideas i want to add. so i leave myself time to revisit which can get frustrating, but it's necessary for my security to publish.

🍒 dialogue is "just conversation with a purpose". when writing dialogue, i often say the words in my head OR (as embarrassing as it might sound) out loud with the chracter's accents and TRY to convey that in my writing. so i use a lot of slang or incomplete sentences or predicates or accents - in the form of dropping the "g" from a lot of "-ing" ending words.

🍒 I DO NOT CONDONE THIS NOR ENCOURAGE THIS! but i'm a fiend and smoke a LOT. and i drink an unhealthy amount of coffee - so that def influences my writing whether i like it or not. this is 1000000% a personal choice and in no way, shape, or form am i encouraging anyone to smoke and / or give themselves kidney stones for the sake of writing.

🍒 i'm decently selective about my stories, in the sense of if i truly cannot connect or find influence to write, i won't. i can't. so i've been doing better about if a plot doesn't flow the way i want, i try not to force it and embrace the new direction. 🍒 HOWEVER - i still like to challenge myself, so, if i find writing has become like pulling teeth, i'll walk away and revisit at another time. i'll try to tackle from a different angle BEFORE giving up completely. yikes.

🍒 being said, walk away when writing feels frustrating and exasperated.

🍒 real life experience is your friend - "write what you know".

🍒 i'm criminally insecure and don't use beta readers nor editors so i rawdog every story and audience reaction. but i hear they're wildly helpful!!! do what feels right!!! it's your art!!!

🍒 skeleton drafts

when in school, teachers, professors, educators might have students structure essays as a "draft". maybe they asked for paragraphs to be organized in a certain way - intro., x3 body paragraphs, conclusion, bibliography - and more specifically, the paragraph structure: opening sentence stating summarized opinion / reason for thesis support, supporting specifics that explain the thesis, and then conclude on a summary of why the listed support supports the thesis.

whatever it is, i don't adhere to some parameters. i've always pissed off my educators because my "working drafts" never made sense, but whatever "final draft" turned in for a grade, did! make it make sense!

so i use "skeleton drafts".

it's where i try to outline the main ideas of my plot to ensure i tell the story i originally thought of. think of these as "plot points", almost like the ribcage of a skeleton. then i add certain supporting details between these ribs; the meat of the story.

i like getting the majority of the story outlined. i use bullet points, i try to use "dividers" or "headers" if i need a time jump, but i want the general idea down so that it's easier to add onto later if i so choose.

so, yeah, i don't "draft" as some American educators might approve of. the actual process is too tedious and i hate it. but that's just me. other authors MIGHT recommend traditional drafting, but i won't. i say do what feels natural to you, but still find a way to rewrite the story you want until it BECOMES the story you want.

"skeleton drafts" establish the plot and pose as major pillars to help propel the story's flow. "skeleton drafts" are like a check list: being the plot points framing the story's structure, as well as details (no matter how small) the story needs.

being said - using skeleton drafts results in a few different draft / note pages in different places so tread carefully. it can get very confusing and annoying, so, it's not for everyone. i'm just chaotic and all my writings are like a tornado.

i hope this helps in even the slightest of ways. thank you for sending your message - again, i'm deeply flattered. i apologize it took so long to respond but i was doubting myself and what to write.

listen, poppet. keep writing. try, try again. challenge yourself. and the VERY best of luck! i hope you fall in love with writing, and in turn, it falls in love with you!

come back anytime! if you so desire, please, send me whatever you write - i'd love to read it!

endless forehead kisses and all my love 🖤

[reactionimagesdaily]

The Image Tags Masterpost

(As its own post thanks to a suggestion from @oregano-gremlin! gracias)

Every image is tagged with one of these tags, for organisation purposes! ^_^

(Also It’d be a HUGE pain to go back and re-organise them so, while suggestions for new categories/adjustments to existing ones are appreciated, I’m almost definitely not gonna follow through on any of them.)

(Also I am uh. Putting this under a read-more because it’s longer than I thought it was gonna be when it’s all laid out lmao)

#[undefinable] - for images that don’t really fit into a single mood, or have a mood that isn’t accurately represented by one of the other tags

#;_; - for images that are the big sad

#Hell yah - for celebratory, “nice”-type images

#Hell nah - for images that simply embody the concept of “no”, “no thanks”, “not for me”, e.t.c.

#Frick the frack off - slightly violent images used to tell someone to begone or that they are unimpressive

#Y’all are heathens - images that demonstrate disdain, confusion, or general contempt for your group chat

#Ah shit - images that convey “oh fuck”, “oh no”, “oh heck”, “oh shit”, and so on

#Depression time - for images that can be used to either show genuine sadness, or a weary sort of “oh God” that is less emotive and more resigned than an #Ah shit image

#Huzzah - celebratory images

#w h a t - images which convey just. total incredulity and bafflement

#F - for images that pay respects

#ooh-de-lally - images to be used for things that are exciting, spicy, or generally just make your eyebrow quirk up a bit

#Cursed - cursed images

#Wow - images that either convey a sense of genuine wonder, or demonstrate like. “yeah cool story bro”

#I LOVE YOU!!! - images you can use to show affection to any loved ones you are fortunate enough to have

#Welp - for images that aren’t very emotive or very specific, but rather channel that face you make when someone’s talking about something and you have no real idea how to react

#Genuine mirth - images that express, well, genuine mirth

#Contemplation time - I like to think this one is self-explanatory lmao

#Horny on main - not for NSFW stuff so much as stuff where it’s just a guy saying “hehe boobies” or whatever

#:) - happy pickturs

#Fear - fear

#Called out - honestly this one’s a bit inconsistent but it’s either for when you yourself have been called out (“you got me there”) or for when you’re calling someone ELSE out (“cool motive, still murder”)

#Free Real Estate - for images based off of those legendary seconds

#Gratitude amigo - images that say thanks

#Trans rights - because trans rights are human rights

#Disgustan’ - for when you need to express disgust with an image

#Disney - images @ that specific megacorp

#I am so great - images for when you’re proclaiming your own greatness (or at least an amount of self-satisfaction)

#Stole your meme lol - for those images you see everywhere on twitter indicating that someone likes your meme/image and have saved it for their own use

#Genuine reassurace - images that express, well, genuine reassurance

#[Music stops] - there are lot of parodies of the initial “music stops” image, and I have many of them

#Gweetings - images that say hi

#I will cause problems on purpose - images with those vibes

#Ambivalent - because sometimes you need to visually express how little you care

#Bog Moss - this is actually the tag for images that are like “mood” or “same” - I tag them ‘bog moss’ because of an inside joke lmao

#Mockery - bully your friends with this specific collection

#Please exercise empathy - for images that basically say “I don’t know how to expain to you that you should care about other people”

#Nice music - images dedicated to saying that specifically music is good

#Sic ‘em - for images that carry a similar energy to Mayor Tyler from Gravity Falls going ‘git ‘em! git ‘em!’

#Grooving - images that convey the emotion of dancing

#You are not immune to propaganda - I have no idea where that edit of Garfield came from, but there are LOADS of edits, so they all get their own category

#Think of the economy - for images designed to satirise people who prioritise stonks and the economy (which CAN be important, I won’t knock ‘em) over human life

#Silence! - you know that image of the crab lasering something? Yeah, there are a bunch of those, so they get their own category

#Genuine wrath - images that express, well, genuine wrath

#Pretty sus NGL - images designed to help convey suspect or suspicion

#Gotta go fast - images that go quick nyoom

#Ight Imma head out - parting is such sweet sorrow, as these images will demonstrate

#Case Closed - for image that indicate that some kind of mystery has been solved, or that some kind of question has been answered

#Not-okay cute things - for those images where it’s like, a plush toy captioned with “I can’t fucking take it”. those sorts of images. they have a category

#Oucho - for images that convey pain but aren’t quite in the realm of ;_;

#Ok boomer - Y'all remember ok boomer?

#Chillaxing - for image that surmize a specific chillaxed vibe

#Nice dub - using this one for pics of that one specific guy in all those pictures where he’s congratulating people’s Ws and Dubs

[akwolfgrl]

•°♤°•

>Omg! Thank you so much. I can't stop thinking of the nymph au. Of course, I will credit you! If you don't mind, I do wish to tweak it a bit. Mostly that nymphs are not completely wiped out. They might as well be since there are so few left, the few that are, they are mixed with humans.< Yes! I love that idea of soke nymphs being mixed with humans.

>Bell-mère is a half nymph, a Alseid, nymphs that are guardians of groves and glens.< That fits Bell-Mère so much!

>Nami and Nojiko are both part nymph. Only another nymph would be able to recognize them as such. But it's still a part of their DNA. It's part of the reason Bell-mère adopted them.< Yes, nymphs have the ability to recognise other nymphs. It's an ability that came from past generations.

>Nojiko is a Dryad< A nymph inhabiting a forest or a tree, especially an oak tree. That fits Nojiko well, considering her and her sister and mother own tangerine groves.

>Nami is a Nephelai, they were the Okeanid-nymphs of clouds and rain. She is excellent at predicting the weather because of this, and it's also why she was able to pick up weather control so easily. The Skypiean's do recognize Nami right away.< That's fits well with Nami. I'm surprised that the Skypiean's are ability to recognise her ability.

>The Fishmen/Merflok do not recognize them because they don't have anything to do with the water.< For other nymphs, yes, however, because Sanji is a nymph related to the ocean, I'd think they would be able to recognise Sanji.

>I think the reason why Sanji is full nymph and not half like his sister is because he took his siblings' nymph half lol.< Noooooo not angst 🤧 but for me, the reason why 124ji aren't full or half nymph is because of the experiments their father placed them in. 124ji don't really care if their nymphs or not, as long as their not as useless as their brother.

>Zoro is the first to pick up on the weirdness of Sanji (after Nami because fellow nymph). Sanji goes for a boring swim, and Zoro is on watch. He watches Sanji go diving and starts to panic because the blood hasn't come up yet. They really don't need a death to distract Luffy from getting free. After all, it seems like the owner and the blond are close. They might shut down to morn. But as hes about to dive in and try to save the blond from drowning, he pops back up with shells and trinkets in hand.< LOL Sanji giving his future nakama (and future lover/mate) a heart attack.

>Sanji and Nami's relationship does change because of this, they act more like siblings.< When they first met, Sanji was gonna try and flirt but when he say Nami and Nami looked right back at him, they already knew that the person their looking at is a nymph. Nymphs consider other nymphs like family.

Btw, if you look into your response where they have (<,>) I put correct grammar spelling so in the future you can see these errors and change them.

Yah I have awful spelling lol. I was writing it on the bus to work.

I will post the frist part when it's finished hopefully in a week or so if my creative flow allows me to.

And yah the fishmen do recognize Sanji I just ment they didn't recognize the others becase they aren't related to water.

[writingattemptsxx]

These words hurt.

Rumors swarm around NRC, but a lot of times they focus on a specific Moray eel. A Moray eel who wants it to stop. Floyd wants it to stop.

—

This spawned from a headcanon I have and I had to just write it so I didn't lose it or the motivation to write.

I had to just get this out so I didn't have a beta reader, so forgive any typos and stuff.

—

Songfic of Circus Hop by YonKaGor on Youtube. https://youtu.be/bjKLjGbL-W0?si=A1BLfTcFGZxdyZLT

—

Tw: Mentions/Allusion to Suicide, Self Harm, Depression Spiral, Bullying, Self Destructive Behavior

If you are struggling with any of this, please get help. This is not something you need to go through alone.

—

It's a comical yet devastating universe

But it's still the kind of universe that I deserve

The lipstick on my face has bled into my skin

It should show a grin

A smile. That’s what he’s known for. That smile turned from a stupid little form of appreciation for what he loved to an excuse to label him a monster.

Who was he kidding, he might as well be. Floyd was huge. He had sharp fangs and claws. He had the strength to overpower most normal people. He was manipulative. He was terrifying. He was a monster just like all the rumors said. Just give them their smile and have them running off spreading more.

Up from the sky, I won't want you to cry

So here's an act for everyone to sneer at

“Goldfishie!!!” Riddle was doing nothing but running from Floyd by now. The little redhead was interesting, that’s not possible to deny. The only issue is Floyd knew better. He is the type to generally pester people he wants to get to know, but just simple pestering won’t do anything. Riddle was powerful. He couldn’t be afraid of power and needed to show that.

His job was protection. Azul’s protection to be specific. Not too many genuinely knew that. What people did know, or think they knew, was Floyd finding Azul interesting. It was true, yes, but another thing they skipped is why he was interesting.

He was one of the first genuine forms of kindness Floyd knew beyond his parents and brother. Azul was skeptical at first, sure, but he had reason to be. No one paid attention to the “ugly” little octopus. They paid less attention when he was violently bullied. The twins gave him just some time of their day and fought off those idiots who were intent on making Azul’s day a living hell.

No one saw how his eyes lit up when someone gave him basic decency. No one saw how he gave that ounce of kindness back more than a thousand times over. No one saw his mind constantly whirling and creating hundreds and thousands of ideas that Floyd couldn't help but finally feel some ounce of hope for his future. A future where Azul would no longer be a “pushover crybaby”, and he put it and Floyd would no longer be a feared monster.

To get that, Floyd had to do whatever he could. Even this act. This act that he didn't fear for his life around power. This act that he wanted to hurt others. This act that these words didn't hurt. The act that he isn't just some scared and cowardly Moray wanting a hug.

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who's waiting at the top

Should do a Circus Hop

People are getting bold nowadays. Coming into Monstro Lounge and actively spreading rumors like their own waiter couldn't hear them.

“I hear he maimed someone.”

“Yah? Well, I heard he gets covered in blood almost every day.”

“Two starter salads, right here.” Honestly. Are they idiots? Spreading rumors like this in their supposed threat’s domain? Just dropping the salads off and then coming back a few minutes later only reveals them back at it. It's not like this is new. Just a few more rumors to add to the many that are constantly circling. Why was he even here anymore?

I shall now accept the fact that I'm a failure (You're a failure)

'Cause I'm still afraid the future might be scarier (It is scarier)

I'll slip while having fun and cut off my own tongue

They'll think I was dumb

Every once and a while, Floyd's mind starts to wander. Who is he kidding? That's his basic state. Azul’s promised future seemed to be turning out now, but what if something happens? What if this happens? What if that happens? Professor Trien’s getting up now? Oh yeah. There was a test wasn't there? The test’s topic was actually kind of interesting. Interesting enough for Floyd to actually spend some time reading the textbook. It was a test of the change in mer and human cultures once they started connecting.

All of this was nice until the test sheet hit down on his desk and reality gave him a nice slap to the face. Who was he kidding? He wasn't the smart one. That was, and will always be, Jade. Floyd knew none of these questions. Absolutely nothing on this sheet felt like something he'd seen before.

“And start.”

Start!? Start how? Start where? Ugh. What's the point? Why not just do his typical? Randomly bubbling different answers. At least now people will think he was just uninterested. If he actually tried and failed, people would know he was stupid, not aloof. That, if anything, was probably the scariest thing. He's gotten used to how things are now. They don't have to change.

Up from the sky, I won't want you to cry

So here's an act for everyone to sneer at

That was terrifying. An overblot. Not just any overblot. Azul’s overblot. Floyd’s best friend. The one who gave him kindness. The one who gave him hope. That Azul.

Azul was now on bed rest. Jade and Floyd were trying to take care of him despite his stubborn efforts to return to normal before his body was ready. At this point, Floyd wanted to tuck in the sheets so much that Azul couldn't get up, but luckily he couldn't do that to his dearest friend. He especially couldn't do it now that he was finally asleep.

“Floyd…” All he had to do was turn around and he could see Jade’s eyebags. It has been Jade’s job to go around and get and prepare things while Floyd was by Azul’s side taking direct care of him. Time to switch, he guesses.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Got it.”

“Also… Go to Monstro Lounge and get that tea Azul likes. I want it to be here for when he's awake.”

“On it.” With that, he was out of the room, and on his way to the lounge. It only took halfway to start hearing rumors. People just couldn't shut up, could they? What worse? It was about Azul. Did nobody have decency?

“I heard his breakdown was because his contracts were shattered.”

“I heard I started he started forcefully taking powers with a single touch!”

“All that from broken contracts? What a crybaby.”

“Oooo. Careful his guard dogs might hear you. Ooooo.”

Then they laughed. They laughed. WHO do they think they are? Because Floyd knows who they are horrible people. Luckily he knew what to do to at least shut them up.

“Hey… now what was that?” He turned the corner. The idiots froze. Stock-still. “What you can't talk now? Say what. Leave now. Don't let me see you again, and I'll be merciful.” That's all it took. They bolted. People suck.

Floyd just backed up to a wall and then slid down. This was dumb. His words were dumb. The bullies were dumb. Overblots were dumb. These tears were dumb. This constant stress is dumb. Everything was just dumb. Can't he just pause time when he and his loved ones are happy? Never mind just let those bullies run off. Let them spread increasingly horrible rumors about what he just did. None of this feels real anyway.

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who's waiting at the top

Should do a Circus Hop

“Hey hey! Sup?” At his voice, his classmates flinched. What? Was a simple hi dangerous now?

“Hiiii Floydddd.” They dragged out the sounds. It sounded grating. They weren't happy to see him, were they? Floyd may be dumb but he's not incapable of picking up things. Especially not if they are constantly repeated. It doesn't matter. Just keep up that dumb smile.

“Sooooo… Whatcha doing?”

“Oh! Uh… Nothing! Just packing up to return to my dorm. You know how it is… Bye!” And with that, they were off. Couldn't stand another second in his presence, could ya? What's the point of trying to make another friend again?

Trying to walk somewhere was easy enough. People shuffled out of Floyd’s way the second he was noticed. Though it felt like the worst thing possible. The stares. The stares made it horrible. Every word was laced in their glares. Violent. Scary. Malicious. Brute. Every name in the book.

Floyd shoved his books into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. What's the point anymore? What's the point of doing anything?

I've said goodbye, I don't want you to cry

So have a laugh with everyone but me.

Watching Azul and Jade work sometimes felt like something else. Two great minds competing yet working together at the same time. They were both at Azul’s desk working on the ledger or something while Floyd lies down on the sofa across from them.

Things don't even feel real anymore. Like he was watching a show. He slowly reached a shakey hand to his brother and friend. Then he realized what he was doing and snapped it back to his body before either could notice. They were doing something. He would be a bother. He just turns to lie with his back facing them.

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who fell down from the top

They did a little drop

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

He just sitting in his bed on the verge of tears. Both hands were on his head and had a death grip on his hair. It's dumb. It's ridiculous. It's lazy. It's... It's... Ugh! Floyd’s mind is circling. Every word said about him while they didn't know he was listening was clouding his head. It was a storm cloud that won't go away.

Just stop it! Just stop it! He let one of his hands off his head only to hammer it back down, the palm striking his temple. Over and over. He wanted the thoughts gone. Why wouldn't they go? Tears finally started falling. He can't stop anything anymore. Not his thoughts. Not his tears. Not the rumors. Not anything.

His hand slowed to a stop and went back to its original space. Both hands finally lost their grip as Floyd lost his grip on his emotion. He continues to just sit there as he sobs.

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who's waiting at the top

Should do a circus hop

The knocks were getting annoying. Floyd had been hauled up in his room for a few days now, and Jade and Azul definitely noticed. It only took the second day for them to start their incessant knocking.

Through the door, they begged and pleaded for him to talk to them. Each time he just told them to buzz off. Can't they just let him be? The only thing Floyd can thank them for is them bringing him meals. They just knock, tell him there's food, and leave. The only thing was once he brought it in, he couldn't bring himself to eat it. The tray of food just sits there until his body’s instincts take over and he shoves every ounce of food in his mouth.

A knock brought Floyd out of his head. “Floyd… brother… please… I just want to make sure you are ok.” Jade sounded desperate. Why? He can't understand. Doesn't he at least have something to do for the lounge?

Without his say, his arm went up. Reaching to the door. His brother sounded sad. Really sad. He was about to get up when he snapped out of it. He pulled his hand back.

…

“Go away.”

For anyone worried this is in no way a call for help, I promise I'm fine.

However, to those struggling with any of this right now, please reach out to someone who's capable of helping. You don't need to go through this alone.

[asteria7fics]

How did you come up with the idea to make TSOB?

You know, I’m surprised to say that I don’t think I’ve answered this question on Tumblr before!

The short version that I tend to tell people is this: I was bored at work one night, working the closing shift, and I had an epiphany. I thought to myself, “Isn’t it weird that I take so much comfort in terrible characters? Like Agamemnon, and Cartman-… wait a damn minute!”

Seriously, it occurred to me that Agamemnon and Cartman actually had quite a few similarities, and then I realized that Kyle would make an excellent Achilles, and the rest was kind of history.

The long version? Well, how much time have you got?

I can’t really pinpoint the moment when I got really into Greek Mythology, and Classical/Ancient Greece in general, but it’s been an interest of mine for several years now.

I spent hours just exploring Greece in Assasin’s Creed Odyssey (as well as taking detailed notes in the historical tour mode), watched so many YouTube videos, read a great many books, etc.

Reading was actually where my love for the Trojan War in particular began. Idk man, there’s just something about those characters, and that conflict, that I adore.

I could give you a list of contemporary novels I’ve read and really enjoyed, but you didn’t come here for book recommendations ahaha so I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say it was the only thing I read about for like a year.

Fast forward through a really intense k-pop obsession (it’s still a majority of the music I listen to. I’m listening to Ateez as we speak) and I’m in the throes of a new interest. Fucking South Park.

I really did just, get the idea one day. I was around season 15 of my first time watching the show (though I had a ton of stuff spoiled already, hence why I made Heidi and Cartman exes), and I had just started reading fanfiction. I had no intention of actually writing the damn thing, but the more I spitballed ideas with a few select coworkers, the more I realized the thing needed to be written.

Who else but my crazy ass would write this thing, really?

I suppose I should also add another, small piece of inspiration. Right before getting into South Park I actually decided to be surgically sterilized. I won’t go into detail as to why I made that choice, but the idea crossed my mind while developing the story to have a side plot where the adults are losing their minds over all their condoms going missing (because, yah know, they were needed for warfare!) and the whole town gets caught up in this big debate over if the man or the woman has the responsibility to be sterilized, should a cis & straight couple choose to be done having children.

Obviously this would have been a Randy and Sharon heavy debate, and I’m glad I didn’t include it as a proper plot point. In my mind though it does still occur, the kids are just totally oblivious to it. Likewise, the adults are totally oblivious to how ridiculous their kids play war is getting, until of course there are real consequences to the whole thing.

There’s one bit that alludes to it, when Annie has gone to the little girl’s house to discuss getting her Switch back and the girl’s parents are arguing about something they ‘don’t understand’. A fun remnant of a plot point that didn’t quite make it in!

Anyway, I’ve already broken down the story beats and how they correlate with the original text in this post, though if you were wondering where Cartman and Heidi canonically get their inspiration, I like to imagine they binged this show while they were together. It’s actually a pretty entertaining retelling, I would definitely recommend it to a casual enjoyer of Greek Myths!

Wow, that was a lot! If you actually read all of that, thank you!

And thank you for this ask, friend! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

[ansbobcar]

"Theoretically what if I said 'yes'?" [Darren x Wirth Headcanons]

Taking a break from my OTP (Rinka x Orter) to focus on my first mashle oc aka Darren Randel (read more info here) ended up making me think they could be a potential ship over Darren x Rayne (I haven't even written out my ideas for them properly) so uhhh yah!

This is a long ass post and devolves into general ideas towards the end.

tyyy @golden-eye-ramblings with the idea making :D

_ _ _

First impressions? They hated each other bro. Darren legit made Wirth taste worthlessness to another dimension (lost his magic completely until sundown so about 5-7 hours) for insulting the fact she didn't use a wand at all (which she gets pretty pissed about if they try to make themselves seem better than her)

He hated this moment so much he started studying/practicing to get payback towards her whenever they encountered each other again

And that happened to be during a Labyrinth/Maze exercise in order to test their knowledge from their Advanced Magic Classes which gave out silver and bronze coins (Lang and Adler houses only)

Wirth put a lot of effort to track her down since she ran after getting stranded by her only buddy (Rayne) who SURF PARTISAN-ED OUT OF THE HEDGES--and then ambushed her whilst she was fighting a golem (man-made magic training doll nicer than Deadervants)

but Darren uses and manipulates Wirth's attacks to put down the golem and 2 silver coins spawned. At this point in time she doesn't get what the coin system is so she just splits the share and Wirth is like what in the generousness is this? Does she think he's that pitiful??? And they part ways from the thing.

Midterms arrived and Darren did pretty bad on them obviously. (she's legit only great at offensive magic)

Walkis although more competitive is really lenient with their passing marks (because the school staff are so corrupt for accepting so many bribes) which she barely achieved after fighting for no instant failing grades so she underestimated the strictness of Easton's grading.

Wahlberg and the teachers agreed that if she failed the next one/finals they might consider expelling her so she literally panics and ends up asking Rayne to help tutor her but this guy is 1) a bad teacher, 2) easily distracted by the bunnies-- they both are really distracted by the bunnies so she has no progress beyond taking remedial classes which she barely understands.

She tries to figure out where she went wrong but Wirth takes the textbook she wanted to take and like are they about to break out into another duel. Darren's about to raise her voice but Wirth shuts her up with a silencing spell (library has to be quiet or not the cursed silencer appears and does the unimaginable).

Girl explains her situation and Wirth hawks in superiority: oh my gawd I'm actually better than her! But he kind of wants to duel her again so when she gets emotional about getting expelled if she does really bad the next round he is like: "Well, Darren. You've come to the right guy! I'm great at all subjects, so what do you need help with?" Darren: "Everything else that's not Magic Geography and Magic Zoology" aka a lot of subjects.

And when I say Darren is bad she is BAD. Calls beakers, conical flasks and funnels "CUPS". She cannot tell the difference. "What did you even study?" because he is genuinely shocked at her stupidity. "The textbooks take so long to decipher and barely have pictures..."

So Wirth ends up making them study into the night and for a week straight they start drilling in the basics. Which she semi understood until he pulled out models and analogies with his mud magic.

Thus begins their mentor/mentee dynamic and Darren unironically calling him "Professor"

So when she improves and gets passing grades just before the summer they're like super duper happy

They both do summer internships at the Bureau of Magic's Power Administration and Darren like knows his whole worth-power-value mindset origin.

"Why not go for something more attainable?" "Like?" "Your... brother?" "Why my brother?" "Surely, you're close to him." "Not really, we've barely talked since he went to school. He's much older than me..." "What's his job?" "He's a Divine Visionary." "What's his name?" "Orter." Darren gets struck with the biggest WTF???? since that guy tried to like kill her.

No wonder Darren was in such a sour mood when she first saw Wirth, he was related to the guy who hated her guts and nearly beat the crap out of her during the questioning she had to do at the Bureau!

"How about we get an internship over the summer and meet him?" and he's like ok.

And thus, we are exposed to Darren's self-centered/self-interested personality and lack of communication skills (since she thinks she's easily readable, SHE'S NOT)

She manages to set up a meeting between them (Rinka and Orter) and completely destroys his self-esteem and confidence by getting straight to the point. "Do you know he has sever self-esteem issues because you're not giving him any attention?"

Orter's tryna understand what's happening but Wirth is like what the hell: "I didn't ask for you to butt into my own problems!" and he fumbles his anger/embarassment towards Orter but broski is just like: "Is that true?" regarding Darren's question.

Rinka makes the situation worse by tryna deescalate the situation with a soothing/calming spell. "There's no need to use additional violence, ruins the atmosphere more than needed." Rinka comments. "I've placed a sound barrier too. It's a safe space."

Wirth at Darren - "I CARE THAT SOMEONE'S TRYING TO JUST SHOVE THEMSELVES INTO MY PRIVACY LKKE THEY KNOW ME!!" The 3 of them just watch him pop off at Darren before it devolves into his insecurities: "Are you trying to make me feel even more worthless than I already did?!"

"I only agreed to help you with your studies! Not to get help with my own life!"

"You can't just FIX me! You can't just come in like that expecting that everything gets resolved in an instant and then you take all the credit as 'mY sAvIoR', do you have any idea how INANE OF AN IDEA THAT IS?! No! Of course you don't! Because you only ever look after yourself!!"

"Wirth. Is what you're saying true?" and bro leaves with no answer (on the verge of tears)

Their whole dynamic crumbles and Darren has some REFLECTION TIME YAYYYYYY. Some slow improvement on Darren's part with Rayne's help (blud shows his point through his actions that mimic her behaviour)

Rayne points out that Darren is not as easy to read as everyone believes her to be. Specifically, regarding her hatred for Orter and that she'd never even try to think about sabotaging Wirth. "It's only been a month since you've joined, you collected 1 whole gold coin already. I doubt it."

And then she would have apologised in person but like. Wirth is studying for the hardest attainable credit ever??? so she writes an apology letter and prays it gets read because yeh.

Dw blud read it becuz the letter ended up in Shuen's fangirl mail inbox and bro got motivated a bit more and like: oh-kay...

They're friends again yayyyy and the DV Candidate Exam is happening and they bicker through the entire ordeal until they arrive at the final round. The 1v1 battles and he gets obliterated by Rayne *whomp whomp whomp*

But surprise! His bro watched him struggle and decided to give him some affirmation and suggests replacing him (Wirth) for the winter break visit because he's kinda like disappointed that he didnt get into the next round (he wanted to do a rematch against Darren) and like the dad favouritism/worth shenanigans.

Darren gets 2nd place and enters the Trimagicathlon.

When Darren heard the match ups she got mad because she wouldn't be able to fight Wirth. (In terms of raw power, Rayne is just superior that she was lucky to be blessed with her crazy cheatcode magic to make the matchup work.)

They were in different brackets too so it just added salt to the insult bro.

So they're friends again and because Wirth doesn't have to go to his parents Darren is like: Let's intern again! But before that, mid-terms/finals!!

And that's when people start to catch whiff off seeing the two together more often.

"Have you heard? The 3rd fang is seeing that crazy wandless psycho!" "What!? Aren't they rivals or something?" "Didn't you see them at the library earlier? They were smiling at each other!"

The Magia Lupus were also kinda curious about this too so they asked him and bro's reaction is priceless because he was immersed in making a model/analogies to help Darren until they arrived. Lost his composure, literally screamed in their faces for ruining the models, and like he legit says: "Even if I did like her she's only interested in Rayne Ames"

Ain't no way in hell he's gonna become a simp for her you know?

"Theoretically, what would happen if I said I had feelings for you?"

"Then theoretically, what if I said 'yes'?"

"I doubt anything would change. We'd bicker, help each other out. Bicker more. Oh and you might be able to join us for board game night."

"Sounds fun but also boring at the same time because it just sounds like what friends do."

"I've never really had feelings for anyone so it's a bit new to me."

Wirth is dejected a bit.

Conflict of interest is she brings bro over to Rayne's BIGGEST SECRET—his bunnies and gets mad mad at her. Wirth wants to get involved but the two of them tell him to stay out of it. "This happened before you got into the picture."

But yuhh if Wirth ever confessed, he'd get friendzoned in a heartbeat because 2nd male lead syndrome!

Darren probably tried to get Rayne to join the Magia Lupus board game nights but he'd rather meet his bunnies over people so Darren gets comfy with them.

Criticizes their diets so hard (seriously why is wirth's favourite food fruit punch???), she literally is starting to become overworked as a 3rd year making nearly 15 lunchboxes every single day.

The main character syndrome it girl to overworked parent pipeline is so real for her.

She literally bonks their heads in s1 when she realises they did all that weird stuff. "I thought we were besties!" she shakes her head and penalties them to without magic for atleast 4 days.

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Eighteen: Forever Autumn Pt. 6

“Well you heard Freddy, he’s our human sacrifice in recovering Envy. We just need to watch the papers and let Dolly rest up. Once we get Envy, then we can have our counter attack against Dante, finally.” Lust decided it was best to conclude this entire trainwreck of a plan before it derailed even more with Ernest’s need to maul the Face Fur.

 With the conversation concluded and needing to lay down to rest, Dolly carefully got up from the table, excusing herself for the evening. Dorian and Ernest quickly decided to follow Dolly up to the bedroom since she was the reason for them being alive in the first place. Guilt ate at the eldritch being, not being able to save Envy from before and now this current predicament. All Dolly truly could do at the moment was to wait for her power levels to restore itself and be able to pinpoint where the most likely very draconic, very feral, VERY hungry Envy might be lurking about. Upon reaching what was Dolly’s designated bedroom, she promptly flopped into her bed, the autumn pattern quilt releasing the fragrance of lavender and pumpkin spice upon impact. It was a relief to Dolly that the family knew all too well that was her favorite calming fragrance as Ernest and Dorian climbed up onto the bed as emotional support abominations. 

 “It's going to be alright, we’ll find Envy and they’re gonna be just fine.” Ernest started, finally getting to have a word with his blood donor.

 “Especially after eating, they seem calmer once there’s something on their stomach.” Dorian added before getting a bit of an elbow to the chest by Ernest.

 “I dunno you guys, Envy’s mother hurt them before and damn it she’s done it once again..” Dolly glanced at the clay abominations created from her blood.

 “Well that’s the good thing about it, you now have motivation to hunt this asshole down once Envy is safe. She is afterall originally descended from a prey species, made even easier as this bitch has completely deluded herself into thinking herself as untouchable.” Ernest's attempt to comfort turned into one of encouraging predation on the horrible human hermit crab.

 “That’s right, this Dante monster will likely not expect to be hunted down by an apex predator at all, she’s definitely thinking you’d be an easy target to capture given how she just sent Sloth to pick you up. Yah got this one for sure.” Ernest joined in on the encouragement of hunting Dante down like the deer Dolly normally would hunt.

 “You understand that when I hunt, I hunt to eat, right? I don’t think I’d like eating something that’s rotting horrifically like that woman.” Dolly made a face of disgust, less about having to hunt a person and more about the idea of tasting something rotting to make Dolly gag a bit.

 “It’d be a mercy killing with terrorizing the daylights out of this terrible person, it evens out.” Ernest reasoned, mainly because he wasn’t picky about the state of his meat.

 “I suppose I could pierce her skull, that should make the death quick and painless.” Dolly thought about it for a little bit.

 “No, no, you should draw it out a bit and enjoy the playtime before making the kill.” Ernest’s advice was rather terrible, made even worse with Dorian’s support about prolonging the death.

 “Dear gods, you both sound like Envy right about now…” Dolly came to the realization that the two little clay monsters were starting to say things Envy would say.  

 “That’s because Envy has pretty good ideas when not being used to torment the general public, I prefer focusing my wrath on the government and corrupt officials in general which Dante clearly deserves at this point.” Ernest shrugged a bit, clearly he was going to uphold the family matra of being hostile towards government officials in general.

 “Well that’s a good thing to know you have some sort of moral compass there..” Dolly was relieved that Ernest wasn’t a murder hobo like Envy in that regard.

 “We both have a moral compass, sure I don’t eat people, mainly because they’re kinda gross from the start, but when I see assholes, I like to torment them.” Dorian clarified on his own behalf, especially after the yellowjacket incident.

 “The best I can sum this up is that bad people don’t deserve swift deaths, they deserve to suffer horribly and be made to beg for the sweet embrace of death.” Ernest shrugged as if that was a very reasonable course of action.

 “I guess we should be glad Freddy isn’t upstairs to hear all that…” Dolly came to accept that Ernest was indeed more chaotic good rather and there was nothing to be done about it.

 “Well Face Fur isn’t up here right now, so let’s not bring that dumpster fire into the conversation.” Dorian pouted a bit that Freddy was being brought back up once more.

 “Exactly! Let's just focus on how to torment that hideously old lady from hell and then we can move on with our existence with those donut gardens to harvest fresh donuts daily from.” Ernest gave a wide smile upon thinking about those fanciful thoughts of growing donuts from the earth itself.

 “Dude, seriously, donuts are baked, not grown..” Dorian gave his brother a disbelieving look that Ernest was still holding fast to the donuts being plants theory.

 “A guy can dream can’t he? Plus they’re clearly a plant because of all the different cultivars out there for the donut.”  Ernest was fully offended that no one seemed to realize that donuts were in fact a plant to be harvested rather than the falsehood of it being baked.

 “Oh no, Dorian’s right, donuts are made not grown…how about I bake some donuts later and show you, okay?” Dolly calmly offered as she made a mental note to privately give Ernest some science lessons once this mess was done and over with.

 “Wait..you can make them yourself?” Ernest looked at Dolly in awe upon hearing that being offered to him. “Well yeah, there are some flavors I like that are hard to get at times, so I learned how to make those instead at home.” Dolly said softly as she started to relax a little bit with talks of baking instead of hunting down a horrible person to torture to death.

 “I’ll take you up on that offer, if you make donuts then I’ll believe you that they’re made. However, will you hunt down the wretched creature?” Ernest brought back the original point of the topic, hoping the bloody torture route would be taken. “How about we leave that offer to Envy once we find them? I think it’d be more than fair to let Envy pick out what they want to do about that deplorable monster of a mother.” Dolly compromised as to end the persuasion to torture from a Mister Ernest the Tormentor.

 “Good point, Envy should get a say on what should be done about their disgraceful mother. Envy can be pretty creative with how to execute a person too given that they made that rather delightful skull mug not too long ago.” Ernest conceded to the fact it was more than fair to let Envy have that choice seeing as they were the victim in all of this.

 “Provided they allow actual team work for a change rather than going about this alone once more..” Dolly said as the waves of regret filled her on not pressing the importance of teamwork onto Envy during the dinner meeting.

 “Dolly you know Envy well enough by now like I have, they’re gonna go for that kill and relish it on their own terms.” Dorian had to gently point out to Dolly that this was Envy they were talking about and how notoriously stubborn the homunculus was.

 “Okay that’s pretty fair too…Envy has a pretty thick skull when it comes to doing things solo…” Dolly resigned that Envy was a stubborn fool at times that did more harm than good to themself.

 “Ultimately that would be as you said Envy’s choice, so who knows, they could’ve learned a lesson why teamwork is important after this incident.” Ernest decided to at least give Dolly a little optimist thought that maybe, just maybe Envy actually learned something from this stunt.

“Hopefully they did, but I am worried, how is Envy going to react if either the Elrics or Freddy attempt to reverse the hijacking? They were pretty hostile towards both parties beforehand.” Dolly said in a softer than normal voice, her body getting ready to start the sleeping process a lot sooner than normal.

 “That one I’m not entirely sure about, but if it does come to that, you can handle Envy pretty well since no offense, they’ve taken to you as an emotional support creature like us.” Dorian started to cuddle up sensing it’s about time to go asleep even if the turd did have a train bed of his own.

 “Yeah, like Dorian said.” Ernest agreed with the statement, they were all designated support creatures for Envy’s own emotional wellbeing.

 With that Dolly’s eyes finally closed for the day, her body screaming for the rest that it desired after the massive teleportation that had been performed. Ernest and Dorian too followed Dolly’s lead into resting as this had been a day too for them finally being reunited as well as getting chased down by a deranged, angry homunculus. The night was silent as if it knew all too well a storm was coming and it was going to come a lot faster than planned. Dolly’s dreams were filled with nightmares of someone crying out for help, anyones’ help even if they had hated them beforehand. There was a feeling of being powerless to even do anything about the situation as the cries continued in a chorus of chaos before a morbid silence surrounded the entire scene. The silence was soon broken by deranged growls and roars, thrashing as though whatever this thing was, it was clearly trying to break loose. As strong as Dolly was, there was just nothing, absolutely nothing she could do about it as the sound of slithering could be heard breaking through whatever barrier was set up to contain the creature and into the outside world. 

[kimaratomoya]

You said yesterday that you were interested in a fanfic idea I had? Well here it is.

It's about a pair of fangirls going into freddy fazbear's pizzeria and deciding to stay the night there for shits n giggles. But it's a deconstruction of several things, such as wanting to get isekai'ed into the media of your choice, the fact that I kept wanting this despite the fact that teenage me would have made a terribly dysfunctional protagonist, the way how fandom seems to fill out every gap that canon lacks, but causes the place to be confusing as if reality overlaps, as somewhat of a side effect.

It was because when I was 13 and talking with my friends online, we used to get a kick out of pretending Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria was a real place, we'd be looking up vandalised google maps places and joking about going there. The fanfiction is similar, but it's also a deconstruction of the idea because FNAF in real life would be Very Dangerous regardless of if you're 20 or 12, or a fangirl or not. And it's also about how the real world would react to the haunted animatronics, I think there might just be two entries in the series but I'll focus on the first one for now.

It takes place in around 2016 or so when FNAF had less content, and had much more of an 'urban legend' aesthetic to it than it does now. If I am ever to write this fanfiction however, I think I'll need to change that. However this goes in contrast with the 'urban legend' aesthetic I had in mind, so I'll either find a workaround or I'll just not make it about FNAF in general. The main point is to deconstruct this adventurous tangent I had in mind and demonstrate how actually fucked someone in the situation would be in, regardless of how much they know about the lore.

The names of the two girls are Áine (awn-yah) and Jene. One of them values enjoyment over personal safety, and the other is an insecure liar. Áine's the one who suggests exploring the places where the children were killed staying the night when Jene wants to look around and then leave, and Jene, while having a higher sense of self preservation, compulsively lies to Áine and other characters to try and keep them safe. The conflict is about them keeping safe from the animatronics of course, but also to work together even though they eventually end up fighting a lot and Áine starts to slowly transform into her self insert OC and lose her memories. Jene's quick lying ability comes in handy as she is able to write Áine's self insert's backstory even closer to Áine's actual memories, and preserve them quicker.

There's also a plot about how the fuck the pizzeria even came into being in the first place, because most stories where fans are transported into the medium of what they're fans of don't tend to dive into this.

In the beginning, Áine says she wants to invite whoever is the night guard over to her house so they're safe from animatronics, and Jene suggests spending more time with them to determine whether or not they're Purple Guy first. This is foreshadowing towards the end where they crash, fictional characters and all, at Áine's house and Áine's mom is like WTF. It also sets up the sequel since Áine has irreversibly been touched by whatever forces have been at play in the pizzeria, she needs to stay close to it or she might vanish from existence entirely. Áine's mom can't have her daughter staying so close to something so dangerous, so she becomes the manager and strives to make the place safer. She does things such as putting the animatronics in giant hamster wheels the whole night so even though they can free roam, there's no way for them to harm people, and installing an emergency escape door for the night guard and also doors that don't use electricity.

That's some of what I have for now. Also since FNAF has so many continuities, part of the early plot is Áine and Jene trying to figure out which one they're in. The books? The movie? The games? Some fan artist's AU? Someone's fan fiction? They learn kind of later in that it's Áine's own AU which she never fully developed and based it off a bunch of other works.

Should I continue?

Bestie

Write this please, I'd 100% read it. Sounds like something that genuinely could be in the books (with some of the weird shit that happens in them *cough cough* the fucking mpreg one *cough cough*).

Genuinely, go for writing it. I kinda am torn about hearing more, because I don't want you to spoil it tbh.

[onmymasa22]

Anxiety is carried on in genes. When a few generations ago, your ancestors were running for their lives. Their body was running at their most optimal for survival. It wasn't called anxiety, it was, waking up and trying your hardest to live. It was a nightmare of death everywhere, living on no medecine or food or comfort. Its trying to live when the world is falling apart. What happens is, the "living to the the highest capacity to survive" stays in the system. So what happems when someone feels like the world is falling apart and your body is running just to survive but everything around you is ok. You arent in danger, but your body and mind are sending signals thst youre in danger. Anxiety is when you feel like the world is falling apart and you are fighting for your life

Inwant to wear my hair in a mitpachatbwith my hair in a bun. So people can see the color but not what it looks like. With a headband type thing. Curls coming down the sides of my face, a messy bun. I want piercings. I want 4 on eaxh lobe and conches

This past year, for volunteering that was required of me, I helped teach a cooking class to older folk with mental health issues that rendered them over 40 percent disabled, everyone for a different issue including ocd, manic depression, schizophrenia, dementia, slowness, tourettes, and more. I started there because i had to, but i fell in love with it. I realized how much i love dealing with these adults. I love who i am when im around them.

I've never really gotten ginger hate... all I've had is creepy people tell me they really like redheads... and i dont really know what to do with that information... it honestly annoys me when ppl talk about it cuz it's obvious, and not really in my control. I don't go around talking about being in a room with left handed people or complimenting their left handedness, or that their earlobes have the perfect amount of attatchedness to their face. I feel like that'd be weird... i will however start doing that now...

I dont really like talking about where im from or about my hair or my name.

Having friends who geek out over sci fi or fantasy books made me think that i

Its raining which means we're in a cooking baking vibe: pita, cream cheese, sriracha mayo sauce, onion and mushroom with too much butter, tomato, sunny side up but flipped over eggs.

When i have kids, im so gonna tell them stuff that'll keep their preeschool teachers on their toes

Me: "you saw daddy go up the stairs? Yah? Do u know where he went? He went to China. But he'll be back in a few minutes."

Getting diagnosed with adhd was a blessing. Because it made it easier to address my shortcommimgs. The one that had the most affect of me was emotional dysregulation.

I need this about being a red head... yes, i know I'm a readhead. Don't call me "gingy" unless you use a french accent. Yes I know it's rare, no it's not dyed. Yes I have a soul. No I don't care that you realllly like readheads. No I don't care that that you always wanted to be one. No I don't classify you as a member if yours is dyed. Yes I know that this shirt is "my color". Yes, i tan and get freckles in the summer on my cheek and nose. Yes I know that "im an enigma".

, and yah, i know how rare it is. No its not dyed, its natural. Yes i have a soul. Yes i know you cant get this color from a bottle. Yes i know it looks cool when i wear green. No, the line "I like readheads" doesn't work on me. This has been a wonderful conversation. Have a lovely day

*all said using

Hi, it's Dalya from Michelet Emuna. I'm going to write in English because I want to make sure I fully express myself, I hope you don't mind. Two years later, I finally painted the landscape. Honestly, when you gave us this assignment I was scared. I felt like- ask me to draw an apple that I'm looking at and I'll draw it 20 times. But ask me to draw something from my mind? I had no idea how, and my imagination felt like a scary black hole. As if you were asking me to paint air. This summer, I wanted to paint what I think Gan Eden looks like, and I started with painting two trees (because every tree needs a friend, and also one for the tree of life and one for tree of knowledge) and I ended up painting this whole landscape with more ease than I expected. I'm shocked but also proud that I painted for the first time, an oil painting, entirely from imagination. I'm just so proud of myself, and I want to thank you for being such a good teacher in my process. I didn't forget the assignment, I just wasn't ready at the time yet. And I am now, and it feels incredible. Whether this is a good landscape painting is a different conversation, but I'm happy that I arrived to this point in my learning. And I just wanted to say all of this.

When a best friend says she found a new show- gilmore girls and she misses you so much, shes been watching it just to feel like she's with you... and ur like "right?! I'm such a Lorelai, it's not even funny!" If lorelai and pheobe and a golden retreiver and a plant all somehow put their genes into one being, im that being. Anyone whoI'm either drinking coffee, playing guitar, on a walk, or in the shower.

New people: So what are you like?

Me: I'm pretty much somewhere between a dog and a plant. Like if Pheobe, Lorelai, a golden retriever, and a plant somehow got together and created a human, I'd be that human. Cuz everyone around me knows- I'm either drinking coffee, playing guitar, on a walk, sitting in the sun, or in the shower. I'm not hard to figure out. Everyone knows where to find me at all times. And I like it like that.

Anyone else always have the worst timing? My timing is having tge sane bed my whole life, then two weeks before i leave the country for who knows how long, getting a new one. Buying a wine glass two days before packing up my life. Spending a month not knowing what to do for an assignment, then figuring something out and winging out. Eating a special brownie the day before flying. Buying a huge canvas two weeks before leaving. I'm a cerial bad timing, but "you only die once" person. Bad timing but i cant help myself. I read something that said "show up

What people see:

The nicest girl in the room. The girl who is yellow in a person. Who makes soup when her friends are sick, who has compassion on and empathy for everyone. Who thrives on making people happy. Who will make herself an absolute fool to make others smile. She is a goofball at times and incredibly deep. She loves hard but will understand that you need to do you. She doesn't judge. She is beautiful inside and out and she brightens every room she walks into. She is a fireball, a sparkler. She is mgic.

What people dont see:

She knows what its like to not be the favorite grandchild. To not be the favorite niece. To not be liked or loved for who she is. She knows what its like to be in so much pain that she inflics it on herself, just to feel balanced. Like her outsides match her insides. She knows what its like to be called ugly, or nasty, to be yelled at, to be embarrassed infront of a multitude of people. She knows what its like to pray for the end of it all. Ske knows what its like to sleep in the street, throwing up, at rock bottom because she has no where else to go. She knows what its like to fight her brain to live. She knows what its like to choose life.

I want to do something on the tree of life. Something about covering everything- gan eden, trees, family, and how raw and hurt it is for me. Going from not choosing life and ketamine to choosing life, being offered cocaine, amd saying no, coming home, and eating chocolate cake. Seeing the boy who died on the bus.

Anyone else buy a monster sized canvas

So at the end of this last school year, this famous israeli artist started talking to me and asked me "what changed for you between the first year of your studies to now?" I answered something like how at the beginning, everything was so new and exciting. You know, u go from corona, to living in Jerusalem, learning to draw and oil paint from a sweet master on the top floor with windows, wood paneling, and easles everywhere. I was in burn out last year. From stupid classes, teachers, and assignments, and a year that solidified my elephant skin, i was a little numb to school. But now, its summer and my answer would be- what changed is that in the first year, i produced according to assignments. I might have manipulated the assignment, but i needed the assignment to help me produce something. This past third year, the assignments hindered me. And when i look at the year, my best works came from the classes that didnt have assignments. Where no one told me, thats great but u should do this instead. I had a need to do what was in my head depending on my energy and material. And i could just go. This summer, I made the art that i wanted and needed to. And maybe thats how i know whether i can stand as an artist. Without the assignment, can i still paint and draw and make? If u can, congratz ur an artist. If not, ull pass art school, and good luck w life but maybe ur not an artist. So im flying back to israel in two weeks, and i went to good will and bought a huge canvas. And it doesn't scare me enough to debilitate me. I just decided that i want it to be an oil pastel and i need to prep it and find something that fits that. But thats what changed. I dont need an assignment anymore, and im not scared of my mind. The first year, i couldnt do anything from imagination. Ask me to draw an apple that i see i can do it twenty times. Ask me to make up a landscape in my head, and it just happens.

Now i feel like im an artist. I dont need assignments. Assignments take me away from what im supposed to be doing. And it creates burn out. I dont need someones ideas for me to produce something. I dont have a style.

עץ חיים היא למחזיקים בה וסומכה מאושר

[soir-rouges-esprit]

xxvii.a: Soul Quench, *Windy howls* can be heard … it's bright out, my vision was blurry, the wind was strong battering my eyes so much I had to squint. I was laying down resting against some soft but freezing cold material … it was glowing white everywhere … snow? I was on a mountain peak? … *Wind howls* once more … … … *CLAP* Darkness. *beep* “Well … you look like shredded cheese … mixed with *Squish* … *Lifts boot* bodily horror.” *beep* “You know what they say … Misery loves Company … and at this point, you should file a restraining order.” *beep* “You'd never feel safe with us making him disappear … *Puts handgun in right hand* … So put your mind at ease … and take back your serenity … fire. *muffled screams*.” *beep* “on my mind? … you're everything now … you're all I think about, and I'm happy it's that way *Rests hand upon chest* But I wanna do a lot more than just think about my fantasies … I have to live them … I want … I wanna feel your hands gripping my sides hard, while I squeeze you tight … while you pulsate and twitch. I want you by my side, all the time … I want you.” *beep* “No … he'd never leave the fucker out. Hate to say it … but he's probably right in this regard, maybe we really don't have a choice but to accept … he's fucked, beyond saving at this point. *Engine Starting*.” *beep* “oh WHATEVER!!! … same shit … different bitch … think things magically change because she knows now, that you're done fucking with misfit toys … JUST Because you've set the bar high, does not mean she can’t reach it … we need a mentally stable partner, someone capable of even existing without having an existential crisis or thoughts of fucking offing themselves, someone who handles their shit … not a recovery/work in progress.” … … … “*Echoed* S-salem? … It's been a while … I'm sorry. But … I've come to strike a deal.” I feel someone grab my hand in the abyss that surrounded me, it was ice cold. *beep* *CLAP* … … … *GASP* I shake violently and awake from sleep shooting upwards from my rest, from my night terror … I'm inside the hospital room. The Knight rushes to my bedside. “RED! … Are You Ok??” … Y-yeah … sorry, I felt someone touch me, did someone touch me? “What? no, no one … you feeling ok? They have you on some meds for the pain … might be fuckin with yah? Where did you feel the touch? How's your head feel?” What? … uh fine I guess, minor throbbing and pain. I swear I felt someone grab my hand, their hand felt slender, and they were slightly shaking … their hand was … so cold. “What in the fuck? … Well, no … no one touched you, promise. It's just me here right now, The Imp left to work, Oma went back home and your mother just left.” I start to slow my breathing and calm myself. “Are you alright? Feeling ok?” I don't feel shit other than my head … my whole, everything �� feels numb, what the fuck painkiller they have me on? Jesus fuck. “I have no idea, I was told you could wake up today, so I decided to stay a little longer than I originally planned. But you feel ok other than the numbness?” Yeah, feel ok I suppose … I'm a little dazed and I feel like my head is … empty, light, I don't know how to explain it. “Ok, ok … that's good!” Where's The Jester? He was here right? Or did I imagine that? Also, how long was I out after my initial awakening when you were all here? “Yeah so … that was … a couple of days ago.” A COUPLE … A couple fuckin days … what the shit ass? “Yeah, Doctor said your legs broke most of your fall, but you had still suffered a massive concussion with minor internal trauma to your right lung, and a few other organs on your right side in general … said it was nothing that couldn't heal, just that you are gonna be heavily watched from here on out.” … what the fuck man … damn. “Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this … you've been put on watch by the hospital, not because of your injuries, but because they believe you were suicidal … an-” WHAT??? *I jolt forward* I WOULD NEVER, YOU DON’T THINK I WOULD DO THA- *He put his hand over my mouth* “SHHHH Damn it” ... [To Be Continued]

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Hello! Can I also ask for a message from my sm please? thank you very much !!

Hi! We can ask and see what they may want to say.

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Soulmate, do you have a message?

I’m seeing like heat waves, orange color, but also green outdoors, I’m immediately feeling like they may be looking at a crazy light show at a music festival or something

It’s so loudddd! Hey! I’m having a good time here. Living it up (seeing them in like rave gear, orange shorts, bro tank, they feel checked out, maybe on some drugs) uhhh yeah, it’s a festival! And who doesn’t want to escape this hell hole (the flames lol). Yeah hot as balls too. Everywhere because the earth is wilting and drying out, whatever (I’m getting they’re passionate about the environment and very educated in sustainability, and I’m feeling they may have indigenous roots because I’m feeling like they may be deeply connected to earth in a more animistic way, and this issue with the planet feels very deep) so yah, maybe I’m fucking off (that’s what I’m feeling like they’re just living in kind of a party, dgaf state atm because they feel defeated about life and humanity). But that’s my prerogative! Look, my favorite DJ set is coming up and I gotta go. (they are very very checked out like only partially present).

Card Pull— Chakra Exploration Deck

What is this persons soulmate working on in terms of healing?

Sacral Chakra—what creative outlets make you feel most alive? How regularly do you create time and space to indulge in these expressions?

Mantra: “my creativity is a priority and I gift myself the time and space to birth my unique creations into the world”

I had a feeling with how much orange came up for your person that they may be dealing with sacral chakra work and then this card came out, confirming that to me and I even sort of thought if a sacral chakra card comes out that will be confirmation.

Okay so this card to me is reaffirming that they are feeling uninspired by everything going on in life. I get this feeling that they may have been doing sustainability work professionally for awhile and they feel like nothing is changing and they’ve lost their creative spark for coming up wi try solutions and new ideas, which creates a vicious cycle where they feel uninspired so they do uninspired work that makes them feel more uninspired. They need to let themselves play. I think them sort of partying and seeing other parts of life right now is what they need to help them find that spark again.

What can anon work on healing?

Throat Chakra— how does expressing boundaries feel in your body? What boundaries are yearning to be honored in your life right now?

Mantra: “I possess the discernment to know what is best for my energy and uphold boundaries with unwavering self respect”

I felt your soulmate giving leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you right now energy when I first started channeling anc then yeah they were sort of dismissive in the message. I think this card is talking about setting energetic boundaries. I wonder if you think about this person a lot? It feels like you do and they want you to leave them alone to focus on yourself. You need to create boundaries around what energy you give out. That may be why you’re feeling tired or exhausted, if you are.

Crown chakra— what values are most important to you and wanting to be honored in your life right now?

Mantra: “my values are my soul’s way of communicating what’s important to me. I trust and honor them without negotiation”

So honor came up twice “please bring honor to us all”, maybe something with ancestry, since in Mulan her family and ancestors want her to bring honor to the family, these issues may be tied into generational clearing you’re doing. I’m feeling again boundaries need to be set around they way you talk to yourself, I’m feeling like you downplay things important to you for the sake of others. No more. You need to honor yourself, your feelings and what you need. Speaking and communicating (throat chakra) these truths will connect you more deeply to the divine source via crown chakra.

Songs:

I hope this helps some! Looking forward to knowing how this resonates.