#but ya know! Sometimes it do be like that!!!!!

[circularcheez-it]

And ya know what ???

Much like Dora, sometimes people need to learn basic shit, and if we gotta donde es clitoris up in this bitch untill we all get it then that’s what we gotta do.

When I’m reading smut and the author breaks the flow of the story so that the characters can tell us that they have enthusiastic consent it feels exactly like when Dora the Explorer looks directly into the camera and says ‘Seat belts so we can be safe!’ anytime she gets into a motorized vehicle.

[torturedlexdepartment]

Tidal Wave

JJ Maybank x fem reader

Author's note: another CA repost 😅🤣 i really was OBSESSED

Warnings: SMUT, smoking, drinking, masturbation, fingering, somnophilia, oral (rem receiving), choking, biting, hair pulling, dom JJ, sex under the influence

Summary: after a talk about your kinks earlier in the night, JJ can't help but try to bring some of them to life

You and JJ were sitting by the fire outside of the chateau. The shack was basically your second home. You and your friends were hosting a party. The yard was packed with people from the island and a couple of tourons. This was one of your favorite parts of summer. You were already really buzzed when you decided to share a joint with JJ. One of your favorite extracurricular activities to do with your best friend.

You and JJ always had the most interesting conversations during your smoke sessions. You took way too much of a rip off the joint before passing it back to JJ and coughed your lungs out. He grinned, trying hard not to laugh at you.

“Always trying to bite off more than you can chew Y/N.” He teased.

“Don’t be a dick or I’m not sharing my pot with you anymore.” You playfully shoved him and he huffed.

“Hey now, no need to be hasty.” He passed the joint back to you and you finished the rest in silence. You were definitely crossfaded by the last rip and you felt like you were floating.

“You know what we never talked about before Y/N?”

“What?”

“What our kinks are.” Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment for a second but you were super intrigued to learn what your highly attractive friend liked in bed.

“You first.”

“Hmm, I like it when a girl tugs at my hair, not even gonna lie. And lets me have my way with her.” He smirked, all proud while you cocked your brow at him. You tried your hardest not to clench your thighs together at the thought of him being so dominant. “What about you huh?”

“Choking, biting, hair pulling, ya know the normal stuff. But also there’s something I’ve always fantasized about but haven’t gotten to experience.” That caught his attention. “Okay so don’t judge me but I am really turned on by the thought of someone teasing and touching me while I’m unconscious.” You almost regretted letting the words leave your mouth until you saw the look on JJ’s face. He couldn’t hide the smirk if he tried.

“You mean like having someone fuck you in your sleep?” You nodded and he had to bite his tongue. JJ put his best poker face at what you just revealed to him. He didn’t want you to know that his cock twitched in his shorts at the thought of him being able to make you cum when you were in your most vulnerable state.

“Sounds hot.” His reaction surprised you and the smile on his face had you feeling flustered all of a sudden. You always found him sexy. Especially under the influence but tonight felt different. This whole conversation had you incredibly hot and bothered and it frustrated you that you had no way to relieve yourself. You were half tempted to ask JJ but you were always worried your attraction was one-sided and it wasn’t worth risking the friendship no matter how horny you were.

You both kept talking about random things for a while before Kie and Sarah stole you away for some dancing around the fire. You didn’t notice how JJ was eyeing you the whole time, your previous conversation replaying over and over in his mind. He watched you sway to the music as he sipped his beer. He often fantasized about what it would be like to kiss you, to taste you, what it would feel like to be inside of you. But the whole kink conversation had him even deeper in his feelings. If only he realized that his attraction wasn’t one-sided.

Another hour or so went by and the party started to dissipate. You were way too wasted to go home, a common occurrence after these parties. You stayed at the chateau often. Usually on the couch but sometimes JJ would offer for you to share the bed with him in the spare bedroom. You weren’t sure where he was at when you decided to turn in for the night. You told all the other pogues you were heading to bed. You groaned when you entered the room. It was the middle of summer and it was hot as hell, this room always seemed to get stuffy. You walked over to the window to crack it.

You didn’t even give it a second thought before you were stripping down to your bra and panties. There was no way you were going to survive sleeping fully dressed. You climbed into the bed and didn’t even bother to cover up with the blanket. The effects of the pot and alcohol together still had you feeling amazing. Unfortunately, all it did was make you insanely horny. And it was torture because you had no one to help you out.

You decided the only option you had was yourself. You laid on your back and closed your eyes and started teasing yourself by playing around with your nipples. They were always so sensitive when you were this turned on. It didn’t take much for you to get wet in this euphoric state. You slid your hand down your panties and started lazily rubbing your clit. You were still so high that you didn’t catch yourself starting to fall asleep while you attempted to fuck yourself. You gave up on the fact and turned over and drifted off to sleep quickly. You were sleeping deeply by the time JJ made his way into the bedroom.

“Y/N, you still awake?” Your silence gave him his answer as he walked across the room, stripping off his boots. He didn’t realize you were half-naked until he was just feet away from the bed. He stopped to do a double-take before sitting on the bed next to you. He admired you sleeping soundly for a few moments before he covered you up with the blanket. He tried to push away all his dirty thoughts of you being only in your underwear in his bed. He had wondered if you did this on purpose. He tried hard to snap out of those thoughts as he made himself comfortable and laid down next to you.

You had rolled over onto your back when you felt his weight shift next to you. You started mumbling in your sleep and he figured that you must have been dreaming. He laid facing you, still in the middle of an internal battle with himself on what he was going to do. He knew it was probably wrong but all he could think about was helping you out with your fantasy. It took him a few minutes but he was finally able to shut himself down and roll over away from you.

Only a couple of minutes had passed before he heard you rambling in your sleep again. This time he could make out some words.

“Please just touch me.” You mumbled, barely loud enough for him to hear. He tried hard to ignore you but his eyes shot open when he heard his name fall from your lips. “JJ, I need you.” He quickly rolled over and almost completely fell apart at the sight next to him. You were still asleep but had managed to slide your hand back into your panties. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen in his life. Hearing his name come from your mouth felt like permission enough for him to do what he wanted all night.

He started by replacing your hand with his, as gentle as possible. He could feel himself get instantly hard when he felt how soaked you were. Your breathing intensified when you felt his fingers toying with you. You were having the sexiest dream ever, not realizing that it was a part of your reality. His fingers felt way better than your own. He was slow about his movements, taking his time enjoying the sweet sounds escaping your lips.

He was getting off in his own way getting to pleasure you. He dove his digits down and slid one inside of you. You arched your back immediately and he couldn’t help himself. He started placing sweet kisses on the side of your neck as he plunged his finger in and out of you. He added another one and his mind went crazy imagining fucking you with his cock. You were so tight around just his fingers, he knew you were going to be the death of him.

After a few minutes of this, his neediness was starting to get the better of him. He wanted to do more. He removed his fingers from you and slipped down in between your legs. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of your panties and started sliding them down your legs. He started cursing to himself when he caught the first glance at your soaking wet pussy. It was no doubt the prettiest pussy he had ever laid his eyes on. He spread your legs wide for him and licked his lips.

He started out by kissing the inside of your thighs tenderly. He noticed your breathing deepen even more before he licked one slow stripe up the center of your heat. You still thought you were in the middle of the best dream ever and you knew exactly what was happening. He smiled into your pussy when he felt you buck your hips into his face. He paid extra attention to your clit with his tongue as he slipped his fingers back inside of you.

You moaned out and he stopped for a second, thinking you woke up. But went back to his devilish actions when he realized you were still unconscious. He realized he had found that sweet spot inside of you as you grew louder and louder every time his fingers grazed it. He could feel you starting to clench around them and he started sucking on your clit harshly. All he wanted to do was make you cum and lick you clean. Your pussy was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted and he knew he would never get enough. He prayed this wasn’t going to be a one-time thing as he felt your hands tug at his hair. Your eyes fluttered open and you quickly realized that you weren’t dreaming at all. Your ultimate fantasy was playing out right before your eyes.

“Fuck, JJ don’t stop.” His eyes met yours as he continued to devour you. He was even more determined to make you cum now that you were awake. You throwing your head back in pleasure was something he swore he’d never get out of his mind as the band inside you snapped and you covered his face with your release. He didn’t stop lapping at you until there was nothing left to clean up. He kissed up your stomach until he reached your lips.

“Baby, please let me fuck you.” He begged and that’s all you wanted to hear. You needed his cock inside of you.

“Please.” You whimpered and he crashed his lips into yours, the taste of yourself still present on his tongue. You removed your bra and started tugging at his shirt and he pulled it over his head, throwing it on the floor. He admired your tits for a moment before he came back down to kiss you, much deeper than before. You enjoyed kissing him but you were growing more and more impatient. You grabbed for his cock through his shorts, earning you a low groan. You helped him out of his shorts and boxers, his cock springing against his stomach. You bit your lip in anticipation as he rested himself back in between your legs.

He started rubbing his cock through your folds to tease you and left hungry kisses on the side of your neck. You gasped out in relief when he slowly started inching himself into you. His was stretching you out more than anyone else ever had. You would never get enough of feeling this full. You reattached your lips to his as he slowly started thrusting in and out of you.

“You feel so good around me princess.” He was fucking you softly but you craved more. Call it the inner animal in you but you wanted him to completely destroy you.

“J, I want you to have your way with me. Ruin me, make me fall apart.” Your words made him do flips inside.

“I”m going to fuck you so good, you’re going to get wet at the sound of my name.” He growled in your ear and started pounding into you mercilessly. He felt so incredible inside of you, that you worried about how long you were going to last. He started biting your neck and you clawed at his back, both of you leaving marks to claim each other. His moans were almost as loud as yours and it was the hottest thing you had ever experienced. You knew your friends had to be able to hear you, but neither of you cared.

He grabbed both of your arms and used one of his hands to pin them over your head. His other hand went to tighten around your neck. It seemed like he remembered every single part of your conversation earlier in the night. You had never been this dominated in bed and you loved every second of it. You knew he was going to ruin you for anyone else. You could feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach and he could tell by the way you were squeezing his cock.

He was right about how you would feel and you being so tight. It was way better than any fantasy he had about you over the past few years. You were finally under him, falling apart for him. He would never let you go after this.

“I”m gonna cum.” As much as he wanted to hear those words, he didn’t want it to be over this quickly.

“No baby, hold it. Wait for me.” You looked up at him pleadingly.

“J, I can’t.” He groaned and pulled out of you, flipping you onto your stomach before you could even comprehend what was happening.

“Knees now.” His stern tone came as a surprise but you obeyed. He was back inside of you within seconds. He leaned down to grab you by your hair and you cried out. This new position made it easier for him to completely rail the shit out of you. You were going to be hurting in the morning but that’s what you get for asking for it. “That’s right Y/N, take me. This pussy is mine, got it?” You didn’t say anything right away and his grip on your hair tightened.

“Yes JJ, it’s all yours. I’m all yours.” You loved him being possessive. You could feel his cock start to twitch inside of you, signaling that he was close. This position had him deeper than before and you were going to fall apart any second.

“Fuck, cum with me Y/N.” Right on cue, your walls started pulsating around him sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your whole body. He was filling you up seconds later. You relished in the feeling of him painting your walls with his spend. He placed sweet kisses on your shoulder before pulling out of you and collapsing next to you on the bed. You both needed a few moments to recover from the best sex either one of you ever had.

“Did you mean what you said? That I’m yours.” You asked him and he gave you a smirk.

“If you want to be.” Of course, that’s all you wanted after he gave you the best night of your life.

“Okay, are there any other kinks you’re wanting to try out?” His eyebrows raised, pleased with your words.

“Hmmm, I can think of a couple.” He kissed you, rolling back on top of you. Your night was far from over.

[tinylilacbun]

babysitter!jj headcannons ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

You would be very shy and hesitant at first when your parents told you that your new babysitter is there but are totally overjoyed the moment your mother opened the door to let JJ inst, trying to hide how flustered and happy you are though.

JJ does everything you ask him for, play dress up, tea parties, watching cartoons while cuddling, he's up for everything to make you smile or hear that adorable laugh of yours.

You've got him wrapped around your little finger and you know it.

He just can't resist your puppy eyes, trying his best to follow the instructions your parents gave him but the moment your bottom lip juts out and look up at him with those big eyes he groans, reluctantly giving you what you want.

"Ugh, fine, don't tell ya parents tho."

You love it when JJ takes you to places, like the beach, to the ice cream parlor, or out on your parents yacht (sneaking the pogues on board occasionally and telling them to not break anything)

"Hey, no, put that back John b. We ain't stealin' anything from here, got it?"

Babysitting you is one of the only things JJ takes seriously, not wanting to lose the trust your parents have in him and risk to disappoint you or worse, to never see you again should your parents fire him for any reason.

He's protective as hell, always staying by your side to make sure you're okay and not up to anything you shouldn't be doing.

He makes silly voices and gestures when reading you a bedtime story, even moving around in your room to imitate what the characters are doing in the book to make you giggle.

Sometimes a curse slips past his lips and he quickly clamps a hand over your mouth when you're about to repeat, making up a reason so you wouldn't use them.

"You never heard that, a'ight? Those are very bad words that- that can hurt your plushies if you say them."

Carrying you around is normal at this point, the blonde does not even hesitate to scoop you into his arms the moment you make grabby hands for him.

He has a hard time getting used to how nice your parents are to him, never making any comments because he's a pogue despite knowing the reputation he has, they still treat him like he never did something wrong.

"Oh, yeah I'm- I'm fine. Thanks?"

That unease fades when he finds out that your father was born as a pogue and did all kinds of stuff himself as a teenager, so he wouldn't even think about judging JJ's actions.

Overall, this babysitting job is the best thing that happened in his life so far and will try his damn best to not mess this chance up.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou @sunf1ower16

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva

[misteria247]

Imagine time cuz I'm insufferable unfortunately.

But like Ford one day is home alone. Dipper's gone out with Mabel and Stanley, leaving him alone for once. So he's ya know doing his thing, enjoying the peace to the best of his ability when the Mystery Shack door bursts open. Ford looks up, startled because the shop should be closed. And Soos and Melody were in town currently. And he peeks his head around the corner to spot someone he never would have suspected to come to his doorstep. None other than Pacifica Northwest. But that's not the concerning part that puts him on edge.

It's the fact she looks like she's been crying.

Ford's immediately in Gruncle mode, because how could he not when there's a child who's obviously distressed. He sees Pacifica stiffen up when she notices him and he puts his hand up in a peaceful gesture. Looking her up and down and noticing she's got scraps and cuts from what looks like a tumble onto the ground. Ford gestures for her to come inside, letting her know that Dipper and Mabel would be home soon if she wanted to wait up for them. The blonde just nods, not meeting his gaze due to embarrassment. She takes a seat at the kitchen table and Ford gets to work finding band-aids and medicine. It's quiet between them and Ford doesn't know how to break it when Pacifica breaks it. By asking a simple question.

"What do you do, when nothing you do is ever good enough?"

And the older man just freezes. Because he wasn't expecting such a heavy question from someone like Pacifica Northwest of all people. Ford thinks about it, sensing it's a complicated situation for her. And while he's thinking of a response he thinks of his father and how he felt when he couldn't ever do enough for the older man no matter how hard he tried. And while it's not exactly the same it helps him give a response.

"If what you're doing isn't enough, then you move onto something new. There's always going to be some situation or person, where nothing you do will change it. So you have to keep going and go your own way sometimes. There's no shame in it."

And Pacifica she kinda takes it, thinking about it before just giving a nod. Ford leaves it at that, hoping that it helps her somewhat. He doesn't know exactly what's up, but he knows that Pacifica is clearly struggling with something. So he'll try his best to offer advice whenever possible. Especially when it's a friend of his grand niece and nephew.

[mastercherry]

You know what? Sometimes, I wish there was a filter on AO3 where you could choose NOT to see works in a series.

Nothing wrong with works in series. It's just that sometimes when I'm looking for a specific tag, it's very disheartening to find the perfect fic only to see that it's part 5 of series. So then I feel like I need to start at part 1 but that's not what I was trying to do.

Ya know? Anyone else?

[psychemochanight]

Somewhere, the batcave, the mansion, even a roof, wherever you want:

Jason: Yeah, whatever, see ya, Goldie *leaves the room*

Tim:

Tim: Does he know what you think of that nickname?

Dick: Nah, don't think so.

Tim: You're not going to tell him either.

Dick: No, not really.

Tim: Why?

Dick: Do you really think he would believe me if I told him he was the real Golden Boy Wonder?

Tim: He was a little feral sometimes as well, tho.

Dick: "Sometimes", we had our "sometimes" where we weren't.

Tim: ... That's not your only reason for not telling him.

Dick: ...

Dick: I hated him, he deserves to hate me back. That's all.

Tim: You were a child.

Dick: He was a child as well.

Tim: Yeah, but he wasn't your responsibility. And it wasn't B's legacy to be handed over to someone else either. You deserved to be angry.

Tim: Even if you want to be now, you can do it, you know?

Dick: ...

Dick: He, any of you, probably deserved it more than I did.

Tim: Never say that again. Never.

Dick: *gives a small smile* Okay, okay. I won't.

Tim: Good. Because you were a good Robin too. The best in his own way.

Dick: Thank you, Timmy.

Tim: Now come on, I know you haven't slept in at least 56 hours and you honestly look like shit, and that's not normal.

[azlovesem]

Yeah nobody likes those assholes. They look dtupid and eyuffrd in thrir duit. Republulucans slways look like dhit to ke. Thsts why ive killed do msny of them. And intend to kill the rest. Nobodt likes uou people but drones so we re killing you with drones. Makes semse to ke. Get tjose 5 Umrsine ilm do it eith th thrm. Russia is fuckex you should see them on tbe battlrfiled. Fat stupud and cumbersome like trump is, ywsh fatty Michael on his way how old are you. You look like yoyre gonna fuckn die of s heart attack. Kerp cslm carry on fat ass. Hes dead slready im not worried. Ill telm ya yrump i like your american women thpuugh. Your guys ate a bunch of eat fucon piece of non dueling shits. Ilm put any of then ina grave invludi g you. Ha ha ha fuckn retards yeah no one likes you. Youre dead hows that sound? Goof. Nah irs civil war we re getting oyr troops wTch the cspital fatry m. The police hate you theyte aetting you up too. This is as coup. Ahh i akresdy know this eorkd is deas. Soon enough fatty arbucjle ya eapust of children.id kixk any smericans ass shit up fatty not just you. Toy fuckn monkey. Kill his ass before we have to kill sll of you biden. Its sll of you or him lick. Youll hgeg two ye term after ws exteeminste them. Lets do it get it on rol. Sometimes violence is the best snswer it just idks. We got the troops resdy. Listenong to trump we wanba dhoot him. Lets do it. Ha ha ga. Yeah your best eomen like ne betted old man. Your men mistly suck. Because im smart sexy deadly abd hot. And yoyr men just ate nit. Ha ha ga ya stuffed weirdo liser fucked dhorts. Yash twab ya fuckn coward. Ok you ho too. Its gonns a bloodbath because we re not doing one yho g he says. And we eill attack federal yroops. A blood bath okd man. Lets just killhos ass i steaz. He tried to block you lets block him. The. Ilmtake of hos yroops.

Bella Thorne

[ak319]

★ I love my horsie and my horsie-wait...but my sis doesn't :(

I platonic, you are Arthur's sis, (3-4 y/o) and Arthur is 16-17, love writing these >.< I

You cling to Arthur’s arm, eyeing the horse with wide, nervous eyes. Arthur crouches down to your level, trying to reassure your ass. It was given to him by Dutch...but he shouldn't say it out loud. Wouldn't want parents to find out, worse if you blabber it to them...

Arthur: "C’mon, Y/N, it’s just a horse. Big ol’ puppy dog with hooves." (gestures to pick you up but you move away)

You: (shaking ur head, whispering) "It’s huge. What if it eats me?"

Arthur: (stifling a laugh) "It ain’t gonna eat you. Horses don’t eat people, you dumbo. Where did ya' learn that from? Now, c’mon, just give it a pat. It won’t hurt you. Ain’t that right, girl?"

The horse huffs, and you flinch behind Arthur’s form.

You: "You first."

Arthur: "Me first? I thought you were the brave one in the family."

You: "I’m brave about things that are not...so big. What if it KICKS ME?!

Arthur: (laughing, shaking his head) "Alright, fine. Watch this."

He steps closer, strokes the horse’s muzzle, and gestures for you to follow. You inch forward, still glaring suspiciously at the animal.

You: "How do you know...it won't bite me? Maybe this one’s different."

Arthur: (patting the horse’s neck) "I'll bite it back then. If you do it then I’ll let you have my gun belt. And gonna bring some chocolates too. Hm, sound good?"

You: (still clutching his arm) "What good’s that if I’m in a horse’s belly?"

Arthur: (grins but then sighs) "Fine. But you’re gonna have to let go of my arm first. I need to ride, now."

You: (reluctantly letting go) "If you make it do... something...I’m calling mama."

Arthur: (chuckling as he swings onto the horse) "Deal. But if you run, don’t trip. Horses actually love snackin’ on clumsy kids."

You: Arthur! (yelping, running back inside, calling for your parents)

Arthur: (laughing as he rides off) "I’m kiddin’, I’m kiddin’!" In his mind, he was plotting to drag your ass and plop it on the animal as a prank. Annoying and scaring you was fun sometimes. It was always adorable how you clung to him like a koala but deep down, he knew it wasn’t just about teasing. Helping you face your fears was important, too.

He sighed, his eyes softening. One day, you’d be all grown up, standing tall, and nothing in the world would seem too big for you anymore. The thought brought a bittersweet ache to his chest. Time had a way of being cruel like that.

taglist: @shackspossum @nayykura @whalecage

[jhoneybees]

Grumpy.

Ooooo a Greg Nolan ficcccc! Ok this one I just had to write as smut because oh how I love my hubby, my pumpy umpy umpkin, huggy bearrr Greggy Nolannn(sorry if they was cringe as hell-) Hope you enjoy!🤭

Characters: Greg Nolan X wife!reader

Warnings/triggers: SMUTTTT, argument, angry sex, fingering, handjob, spanking, swearing, Greg being rough, use of daddy

Tags: @atleastpleasetelephone @i-r-i-n-a-a @theelvisprincess @thelonelyheart @polksaladava @hooked-on-elvis

_____________________________________________

Greg has been in such a grumpy mood lately and you know it’s his job that’s poking at him, you’re quite proud of how well he’s managing his anger because there were times where he took it too far and hurt some people’s feelings and you made sure to talk to him about it. You’ve been married to him for 6 years now and really, you’re still surprised how easy it is to annoy Greg, it’s like how a man pokes a bull and you have to admit your husband being this grumpy and sarcastic bum sometimes does things to you. That frown he almost has all the time is so hot, it’s so sexy and his voice, crisp, deep and grumbly, a lot of the time you can’t help rubbing your thighs together.

You do listen and comfort him from time to time, when he wants it you mean. It’s just when he comes home nowadays, roughly closing the front door. Huffing and puffing as he yanks his tie and jacket off, makes your brain turn to mush.

He’s just so sexy when he’s angry.

Now, you know some people might say that is quite toxic, to find your partner when they’re angry attractive but come on… doesn’t the thought of allowing him to dig all his anger deep inside of you with large firm hands gripping at your hips like a vice. Never letting you go until you get him to that place he craves sound delicious?

It’s so delicious that this afternoon, you are going to get yourself all dolled up for him. He’s been going through it this week and you think he deserves a bit of pampering and hopefully a bit of rough sex to get through this week of turmoil. You’ll get yourself in your best lingerie and curl your hair and when you finish, you’re gonna quickly run around the house, finishing off the rest of the chores you’ve been meaning to do this weekend, and finally after a little while of doing just that you gently sit yourself down on the main couch in the living room, fluffing your hair and adjusting your bra, biting your bottom lip at the anticipation of your husband arriving home.

Slam.

“Hi, honey.” You say, lovingly. Pushing your body off of the couch and padding over through the archway to the front door, holding your arms up to rest on his shoulders. Giving him the usual welcome kiss that he sighs from. “How did work go?”

“Shit.” Greg grumbles.

You can already feel your center tingling. “Oh.” Raking your fingers through his hair, you keep a bit of distance with your bodies. “Wanna talk about it?”

He huffs. “I’d just be telling ya the same thing.”

“I don’t mind.” You comfort, stifling a smile feeling his finger brush against the side of your thigh.

“What’re you wearin’ this for?” He asks and you smirk a little looking into his tired eyes, keeping your composure level.

“Thought I could give you a little bit of loving…” You lift your knee ever slightly, grazing your bare thigh against his clothed one. You slide your elbows down to rub your hands up and down on his chest. Inching your face to be that bit closer to his, nuzzling his nose with yours but he sighs a bit agitated and pulls away.

“Not ta���night, baby… I just want some peace.”

Lightly moving your arms off of him and walking past to make his way into the kitchen, you follow behind, quietly. Placing your hand on the counter as you watch him grab a beer from the fridge, popping the lid off with ease and taking a big swig. Your other hand fidgets with the strap of your bra, standing in a way to make him notice you but he just turns around and leans back against the same counter, facing away rubbing his face with his free hand.

“Ugh…” He groans. Hanging his head low as he takes another couple of swigs. Roughly pulling on his tie but when it gets caught suddenly he’s slamming his beer down and ripping the thing off. Throwing it over the counter for it to land on the floor. “Damnit!”

Your body jolts a little at the sudden noise, silently watching him in front of you pace back and forth his hair a bit more disheveled than before and as he’s taking off his blazer and rubbing his forehead. A deep frown appears on his face.

“That sonofab*tch doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ about, tellin’ me ta do two photoshoots on Friday even though I got f*cking five to do on that same day. Comin’ in everyday ta tell me the same goddamn thing, sayin’ he’d pay extra but he never f*cking does… Could shove a f*ckin’ camera up his ass and tell ‘im ta piss off. I’m only one f*cking man.”

“...Honey?” You call out. Walking towards him with great caution and when your hand goes up to touch his shoulder, you blink feeling him slapping it away. “Baby you-”

“Not right now.” He growls.

But you try again, this time stepping in front of him and holding onto his shoulders. Your eyes peer up at him with concern and as you see he’s about to push you away you brace yourself only for nothing to come and you just hear him breathe in deeply and close his eyes. “Baby-”

“Listen to me, Gre-”

“I don’t wan-”

“You can always take a couple of days off to rest.” You say quickly in hopes that might help but clearly you’re wrong when he turns away in almost disgust.

“I ain’t got time for days-”

“You can make time-”

“MAKE TIME MY ASS.”

He snaps, making you flinch. “I’m sure your boss would-”

“Damnit!” He spits, turning away but when his gaze lands back on you. Your heart skips a beat seeing his blue eyes now on fire.

“F*cking ‘ell” He yanks on your arm and soon pinning your back to the kitchen counter, you squeak, feeling him tear your black panties off letting them fall, all ripped up on the floor by your feet, a hot breath on your ear. “Turn around.”

“W-What?” You stutter, chest heaving with shock.

Breathing heavily, his frown deepens. “You’re gonna take me like a good girl.” Gliding his big hand down squeezing your right ass cheek in his palm, your hips buck feeling his fingertip nudge against your already wet hole.

“O-Okay.” You whimper.

“Hm?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Gonna take me, good?” He asks with something a bit softer in his tone of voice but when you nod and he turns you around, pressing your torso onto the cold countertop, his next actions make you scratch the idea of him going easy on you right out of your head.

SLAP.

“Daddy!” You gasp, back arching feeling the sting on your skin.

“F*ck…” He breathes, pushing you back down. “Be a good girl f’me.”

You nod and your hand quickly grips the edge of the counter as your warm skin touches the cold vinyl making a shiver go down your spine and the clinking of Greg’s belt fills your ears. Gulping at the sound of his moans as he strokes his cock, you whimper loudly feeling from out of nowhere him push two of his long fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out quickly groaning at how wet your pussy is and not long he pulls them back out, cursing at how you taste as he sucks his fingers. “Mmm…”

Gripping onto your hip and guiding the tip of his cock to your dripping entrance, he thrusts himself inside with no warning, his hold tightening listening to your cries. “Greg!”

He begins to drive his hard length deep inside of you, not giving any time to adjust and as you feel the sensations spread all throughout your body, your head starts to spin.”Mm-”

“That’s it.” Greg groans, gritting his teeth. Not wasting any time on speeding up the rhythm of his thrusts.

You whine, rising onto your tippy toes trying to ease the slight pain that’s slowly forming into pleasure Greg slams your hips to the edge of the counter and rams his cock impossibly deeper. Leaning over your back as you quietly start to moan. He sucks the skin on the back of your neck in between his teeth, kissing there as his hands slide up to the top of your hip bones. Rolling his eyes back at your gushy walls clenching around his girth, coating him in all your juices.

“Taking me s’well…” He murmurs breathlessly in your ear, hastily unclasping your bra and sliding his hand underneath your body to grasp onto your breast rubbing his palm over your nipple making you moan and your arms shake as they try their best to hold you up. You bite your lip.”Goddamn…”

His thrusts get stronger and stronger as every moan and grunt goes by and wet sounds of your body colliding together fills your beach house soon your hitched breaths and slurred moans join in.

“Daddy…” You beg.

“Gonna get us there, baby…gonna get us there- oh yes…yes.”

Your eyes roll back, his tip nudging at your cervix. It’s now hitting that place over and over and how your moans were big and loud before, now they are deafening. The sensations get so good, so overwhelming good that it doesn’t take long for Greg to shoot his release into your womb and you cum hard on his cock.

“F*ck yes, baby…” He whispers after slowly coming down from his high. His forehead resting on the back of your shoulder as you pant.

“Feel better?”

“Mhm.”

“Grumpy.” You laugh breathlessly.

[ask-the-neighbores]

A question for all of you! I've noticed Jon and Mark calling Eduardo things like "Ed" or "Eddie", but haven't heard any nicknames for the others! Do you guys have any silly or sweet nicknames that ya call each other? Maybe our favorite couple would be willing to share their favorite pet names for each other?

Jon: I mean, it's not exclusive to anybody, I guess but I get called Jonny a lot by Eduardo and Todd! I don't mind it, in fact I call myself Jonny too sometimes. I dunno, to me there's something about calling each other "Eddie" and "Jonny" just feels nostalgic, even though we didn't grow up together...

Mark calls me things like "love" and "hun".. That's not exclusive to me either, but it does make me giggly. Aww, Jon. It's true!

Eduardo: Nobody but Mark n Jonny are allowed to call me Ed or Eddie, so uh don't even try it.

...I know Mark loves it when I call him things like my beautiful flower.

Mark: Aw.... I do...

Eduardo: or my sugar plum, cause yer just so sweet. And wear purple.

Mark: Tú eres el dulce. la luz de mis ojos

Eduardo: Just tryna see that smile, Mi hermoso

Jon: I can't wait to officially call them my brother in law!

[daydreams-after-dark]

feel like ive sent a lotta requests to u for some reason? 😭 but rn i have the idea of usually dom! fem.reader being asked if sub!skz can dom them n they fuck so good her brain is basically a mush. (would you believe me if i say i kinda dreamt of the part b4 fucking but i woke up..?)

First and foremost... it sucks when you wake up before the action happens!!! I feel ya!!

A/n: I don’t normally use pics with faces, but I needed to demonstrate the mask I mention.

MDNI /// NSFW /// MDNI /// NSFW

CW: established relationship, gang bang, degradation, name calling, unprotected p in v, reference to anal sex, restraints, spanking, writing on body, dom skz, sub reader, role reversal, slapping, rough sex, aftercare.

//////////

You’re usually calling the shots. Demanding. Instructing. But every so often you wondered what’d be like to be the submissive for once? Domming was sometimes exhausting. Taking care of them and their needs, it was a lot of responsibility.

Maybe they all could work together to take care of you for a change?

You knew a few of your subs were in fact switches, so they were who you approached to discuss this important matter with.

“You want us to dom you?” Chan asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you can take it?" Minho adds.

“Are you sure you will know how to take care of me?” You counter.

But it doesn't take long for their devious brains to formulate a plan.

You get to be an absolute fucking pillow princess for the night. They tie you up, take turns. All your holes get used over and over simultaneously. You can barely breath you're choking on so much cock, and they love the pretty tears that are streaming down your face.

Of course, to begin with spanking is involved - with your riding crop. The one you love to use on Jisung. It makes you so dripping wet hearing Minho direct Sungie to to use that same riding crop to cause red marks on your body.

"Again, Sungie. She needs five more. Harder." He instructs him.

Then there's the moment Hyunjin and Felix bully both their cocks into your pussy. At the same time. While a few of the others hold you in place so you can’t move or squirm or resist in any way.

Then they adorn you in your black leather rabbit half mask and chain you to the bed. You’re in a This is when they really get started.

Changbin runs the pad of his thumb along your bottom lip, then pushes it into your mouth, pressing against the inside of your cheek. “Such a fucked out little bunny.” All you can do is look at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him to fuck your face. Of course he does, removing his fingers and pressing his fat tip past your lips.

Meanwhile Felix is eating you out, slurping on your cunt like it’s his dinner.

Minho cums on the side of your face, pumping his cock with his hand. He needs you all messy, so he smears it all over your cheek with his dick.

Without warning, your legs are bent up around your shoulders. Time for another round of fucking your holes. Chan starts with an onslaught of rough, hard thrusts. Then Jeongin. Hyunjin forces you to deep throat him, and you’re pretty sure someone is rubbing their dick on your foot.

One by one they fill you with the cocks you love so much. And you’ve taught them well too. They know how to thrust so they hit that sweet spot. They know how deep they need to go to make you scream. They know how hard to slap your tits and your face.

Orgasm after orgasm is ripped from you. All while they talk amongst themselves about how much of a “whore” you’re being tonight.

They laugh at how pathetic your whimpers are, and taunt you about good you look as a cum dump. That you’re a “filthy little pet only good for your holes”. You feel the cold wetness of a felt tip marker on your skin. Seungmin, the meanie, writing god knows what on your body.

You just lay there smiling absentmindedly because you’re too fucked out to say or do anything. Your brain isn’t even working now.

Your gorgeous young men are treating you exactly how you want them to, taking care of your needs so well, and you cum again, making a mess all over the face between your legs. You glance down through hazy eyes and almost, almost, say “good boy, Sungie” when you see him drink up every last drop of your arousal.

Eventually they are finished with you, releasing your wrists and removing the mask.

“Go on.” Chan laughs. “Go clean up.” But your legs are jelly and you can’t stand. You’re forced to crawl, pull yourself along the floor. Pathetically. All while they laugh at you.

“Look at you. Too fucked stupid to move.”

“Probably won’t be able to walk for a week.”

“Fuck. Someone better carry her to the bath, at this rate all that cum in her hair will have dried so much it won’t wash out.”

Minho scoops you up and carries you to the bathroom, where one of the others had been drawing you a bath while you’d been struggling on the floor.

Felix washes your hair, Chan washes your body. The rest of your lovers are busy too: Hyunjin changing the sheets, Minho preparing snacks, Jisung finding a movie for you to all wash. Jeongin finding your pyjamas and slippers, and Seungmin blow drying your hair for you so you don’t catch a cold. Binnie ensuring you stretch those hammies and providing you with hot wheat bags.

You fall asleep amongst them. Happy and content. You needed this break.

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @fun-fanfics @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @galaxycatdrawz @jiminssluttyminx @kayleefriedchicken @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @dool-set-net @redstayrosie @mintymintmint251 @katsukis1wife @delulustardust @eastjonowhere @withnia

[stupidvillainousposts]

Ahh, more Werewolf Gene AU stuff

Stan would be terrible at teaching the pups how to be werewolves, I just know it

Stan: And then, once you've dropped the box in the hole, you turn around and bury it! Like you're playing a game of... uh... I dunno, would "Hide the Money" be considered a game?

Dipper: Grunkle Stan? Do we have to bury this money?

Stan: Kiddo, sometimes you have to bury an insane amount of money in the middle of the woods to make it in this crazy world.

Mabel, wagging her tail: Yeah, Dipper! We gotta beat the bank to the punch!

Dipper: The punch of what, though?

Stan: *Puts His Hands on the Kids' Shoulders* All the steaks and bones in the world.

Dipper and Mabel: Woooooow.

---------------------------------

Dipper: Grunkle Stan? Grunkle Fidds?

Stan: Whaddup?

Fidds: Is somethin' wrong, honey?

Dipper: I mean... I wouldn't really say wrong, so much as... horribly terribly awful?

Stan, going tense: Dipper, what does that mean?

Dipper: Well... I may or may not have dared Mabel to blend a bunch of random food and toothpaste together and eat it all.

Fidds, completely exasperated: And why, pray tell, would ya do somethin' like that?

Dipper: She bit my ear too hard while we were playing...

Stan, relaxing slightly: Okay, so where exactly does the "horribly terribly awful" part come in?

Dipper: I think Mabel has food poisoning... werewolves don't have advanced immune systems, do we?

Stan: Not when we're eating things that would make Gordon Ramsay die on sight, we don't.

--------------------------

Mabel: Grunkle Stan? Why does Grunkle Fidds get so mad when me and Dipper accidentally pop his blood bags?

Stan: Well, those bags are the only thing keeping your Grunkle Fidds from going crazy and killing people, Pumpkin. He's gotta drink blood to survive, just like we've gotta eat meat.

Mabel: Okay, okay. Where does he get the blood from?

Stan: I think it's time we stopped talking for now.

---------------------------

Fidds, tucking Dipper into bed: G'night, Mason. Y'all have a good sleep.

Dipper: I'll sleep well when I figure out how to sleep without crushing my tail every time I sleep the wrong way.

Fidds: Aw, I'm sorry, hon. Would ya like me t' try and make ya somethin' t' sleep better?

Dipper: Nah, I'll just train my body to stay still like a log when I sleep. Then I'll be pain free!

Fidds: *Chuckles* Alright, Mason. Do what ya gotta do.

Stan, dragging Mabel into the room by her left leg: Comin' through with a stray! *Drops Mabel Onto Her Bed*

Mabel: *Squeals with Glee*

Stan, smirking: Alright, you. Sleep. Now.

Mabel: But Grunkle Stan! I'm not tired! *Passes Out Literally One Second Later*

Stan, to Dipper: Night, kid.

Dipper, trying not to laugh: Goodnight Grunkle Stan.

[kendrysaneela]

Let’s discuss Avery,Tristan and Max’s bucket lists.

Tristan

Kitesurfing

Break a world record

Dog, house

Fall in love, family,married

Threesome

Avery

See the world

Doctor

Know herself

Perform because she wants joy and to be bold

Threesome

Max

See the world

Fall in love have kids teach them to rely on themselves

Life to have meaning

Threesome

Let’s talk about the threesome first because it’s only item on all their lists that is the exact same. First let’s discuss why they all may been so quickly on board for the threesome (besides ya know the obvious attraction they all have towards each other that they’ve been showing us since the pilot) all of them have white picket fantasies. Tristan and Max are much more open about them and wanting them than Avery they both mention that on their bucket lists and they mention it on their bucket lists and in other scenes. Avery however, she never mentions it to the boys and she doesn’t mention it on her bucket list. In fact she tells Max that she doesn’t really believe in marriage anymore after what happened between her and her first husband.

BUT the catch is that when Avery gets pregnant and she’s talking to her friends we learn she actually DOES want kids and DOES dream about the white picket fence life. And has had those thoughts relatively recently considering she just donated her eggs on their last hiatus and hasn’t even gotten back on the pill yet. But she just doesn’t discuss it really with the boys like they do with her. She keeps it closer to her chest. Which is understandable considering her last marriage she may not want to speak that into existence just yet worried it’ll be taken away from her again. But regardless she clearly DOES also want the white picket fence life. Or at least thinks she does.

They all have said they want the white picket fence life ya know husband/wife 2.5 kids. Now that is a perfectly okay and normal thing to want. HOWEVER. What’s important to acknowledge about that concept is that that is a heteronormative monogamous concept. Which most people in western countries such as the US and UK where Avery,Max and Tristan are from, are culturally conditioned to want. And monogamous heteronormativity can be dangerous sometimes. And Avery,Max and Tristan all saw that in action in episode 6. They watched this family be torn apart by their desperation to follow heteronormative monogamous norms. The mother of the bride,the bride,the groom,the best man,probably some of the bridesmaids and groomsmen too. All have their lives destroyed. So they’re walking around the ship talking about bucket lists talking about what they want their lives to be and what they want to be remembered as and who they wanna be. And Tristan brings up a threesome adds that to his bucket list.I think it’s important to acknowledge that even though Avery is the one who suggests the three of them have a threesome Tristan is the one who brought it up in the first place. Avery eagerly agrees with Tristan and makes that her fifth thing on her bucket list with the only prompt being she only had said four items. So she didn’t say it unprompted like Tristan did but she agree with that pretty enthusiastically. MAX however. Max. Max says four items. Then he is told he needs a fifth. He says can’t think of a fifth he says so he stalls. Then when (yet again Tristan) says it’s okay if Max says it’s a threesome. BUT. Max has already had a threesome. He won’t talk about it though. He made a pact. (Which he also did with Tristan and Avery which is interesting but that’s a whole other thing for a different analysis). But nevertheless they all end up having the threesome. Similar to their bucket lists Tristan and Avery start it and basically kind of coax Max into it. But Max does admit he enjoyed it and that it was wonderful and Avery and Tristan acknowledge they noticed he enjoyed it. And even with ya know everything that happened afterwards I think the threesome was a product of them sorta rejecting heteronormative monogamous norms at least on a subconscious level.

Then next items on the bucket list. They each have at least one similar item to each other besides the threesome.

Avery wants to travel the world (which she’s doing)

Max wants to travel the world (which he’s doing)

Tristan and Max both want to fall in love and have kids

The difference between Tristan and Max is that Max outright says he wants to fall in love and have kids and teach the kids to rely on themselves with no prompting

Tristan is prompted by Avery about “Six little Tristans” yes of course she’s quoting him when he said that earlier but she still had to prompt it this particular time

There were less direct similarities as well.

Tristan - Kitesurfing

Avery - Perform because she wants to feel joy and be bold

Tristan’s kitesurfing is absolutely because he wants to feel joy and be bold as well he just doesn’t outright say it like Avery did.

So there’s that on both their bucket lists as well.

And then in the same vein Max - Wants his life to have meaning. I’d say that’s in the same vein because ya know if your life has meaning I assume you’re experiencing joy and being bold. So it’s not as directly compared to Avery and Tristan but still comparable.

All of the things on this bucket list are about their lives and the meaning of them. What they want to do who they want to be how they want to be remembered. But also guess what they are? Fantasies. And they’re faced with the reality of some of these things and they reject them because they don’t fit the fantasies or they don’t reject them but they panic when faced with the reality of them.

Tristan and Max: Are given a chance to fall in love and have a relationship with both Avery and Max like Avery puts it right out there. And they both reject it because it doesn’t look like how they pictured. It’s not their who he picket fence fantasy it’s too different so they push it away.

Max: Faced with the prospect of having a child when Avery says she’s pregnant, panics immediately and starts word vomiting all over Avery cause he doesn’t know what to do this wasn’t his fantasy it doesn’t fit

Now Avery’s isn’t as direct as Max and Tristan’s because she fully supports them becoming a throuple even though it’s different and it’s understandable why she would be trepidatious pregnancy is a lot to put your body through and it’s very unexpected so that’s not strange.

The bucket list item Avery starts to question is being a doctor. She seems to start to wonder if she still wants to be a doctor. And I think that’s because in her head it went “Once I become a doctor I’ll meet a cool guy and then we’ll have kids and it’ll be happy ever after” but if she has a kid now this way. It’s already shattered her white picket fence fantasy cause that’s not the order she planned to do it in. And I think she starts to wonder. “Were there any other reasons I wanted to be a doctor? Or was it just because I thought that would facilitate my white picket fence fantasy somehow”

And I think it’s interesting how this show that makes a big deal about keeping up the fantasy of the ship and ship life has these three main characters with this big lofty fantasies about their lives and what they’ll be like in the hypothetical future where they stop working on the ship and settle down. And what happens when that fantasy is then shattered. And they have to face a reality that isn’t at all what they pictured? How does that change who they are? What they want to become? How they’ll be remembered? Who are they once the fantasy is gone and reality is all that’s left? I think they’re all on the ship cause they’re running from reality. But they can’t run anymore. Reality is sitting right there in Avery’s uterus and they’ve all gotta face it and in order to do that. They’ve gotta face everything else. Their past,their present,what their relationship is,who they are,why they’re here, and most importantly, do they actually all want that white picket fence monogamous one partner heteronormative life? Or could they be happy with their lives looking differently than they did in all their fantasies?

[ttrashlord]

STEB X ENFORCER!READER

Summary:just Steb being cute and stuff

Warnings:none

You two surely met like,when you two were cadets,he just graduated from School and you too but whatever lead you there,you ended Up meeting him

He is a man of little to no words as we all saw in the show so,you have to do the first step,you two surely been in the same like besides the other one,so you make a comment to him.

You:i hope (chief/name) doesn't make us clean again the training yard floor,could you believe It? Twice in a day

Steb:...i Hope not

The vastaya Who was besides you was quite tall,with hard,looking skin but soft at the same time and also Big blue eyes.You wanted to talked with him for a while now,but never find the time to do it,now,that your chief was making clear (again) the rules,etc,etc.you thouugh:this is boring,maybe he is bored too,this is a great time to Talk to him...in front of the chief...while he's talking...yay...

You were about to say something,when suddenly,your name was heard in the whole training yard

(chief/name): Y/N L/N ( last name) YOU WILL BE THE ONE CLEANING THIS YARD CORNER TO CORNER IF I HEAR YOU TALKING ONCE MORE!

everyone was quiet,except for you,but...he was laughing,quietly,or at least you heard a chuckle.

You:told ya

Steb:let's talk later and not about cleaning yards ok?

After you two met properly,you two make training together,eat together,do everything together,even if you have to do teams for training guess who's Steb joining with?,i'll give you one chance

At first,i headcanon that he was like cait,a good shooter,but if you are not or need hell with this,he will help! No doubts about it

Just imagine him,steping behind you,holding your hands in postion,telling you how to look through the sight right in your ear,and then...you failling the shoot.

You:i guess i'll need more classes

You do EVERYTHING together,even your roomates (i don't know how you call your partners in the army which you share room) ask you Why you're always with him and even if he is your boyfriend.

On the other hand,Steb has to deal with soooo much teasing in his room "is she a hook up??"," is she your girlfriend??"

For fucks sake,poor steb

After you two clarified their doubts,everyone is dissapointed,they wanted to see you two together who wouldnt is the real question

After you two graduate and get in real missions,Steb makes sure to stay as close as he can next to you,he wants to protect you and doesn't want to see something happening to you.

Even asking cait (when she is Commander) when you have a risky mission,if he can be instead of you (⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠)

You,Steb,vi,Maddie,cait and loris make the peanut team (if ykyk)

He asks you to take care,but you always say that you are risky,because you have always someone to take care of you,literally and metaphorically. (As far as i know,Steb is a field doctor so,yk)

It's all about you and him,talking care of each other,making sure you know where the other one is all the time and always have the last billete for the other one ;)

When you started dating and you two still were enforcers this wouldn't change,as far as we expect

Just him,being besides you in every mission,taking care of your injuries (if you have any) and viceversa

If you two are living in different houses,he Will definetly Will walk you to your House such a gentleman oh my gosh

You protest sometimes staying that you can take care of yourself or even that you can walk HIM home

But he denies,he just likes the walk,and being with you ;)

If you two live together,that's a different story

You two go together to you shared House/department and finally find peace (i headcanon that he is allergic to animal fur so he wouldn't have any pet)

You two are in home,maybe you reading while he cleans his uniform,meanwhile the fire warms you two,talking about your Life and how do you expect the future,YOUR future together.

He will clean (without telling you) both of your uniforms,and making everything ready to the Next day at work.

I just now that he is so husband material and he wouldn't change you or anything on his life for anything.He thinks it's perfect just the way it is 🫐

YOOOO it's kinda late (what hour it's in your country?) but now i'm so tired,but i wanted to write this (maybe i'll post it tomorrow)

See u 🫰✨ (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

[junos-jrabbles]

Authors note, PT 2 to this ask, because it took me SO long and I feel like I need to do a lil more LOL, sorry if these are a lil unimaginative I do be frying

How would the mercs react to a new member with some questionable behaviour?

Scout

There's GOTTA be somethin’ up with you.

He's sure of it, absolutely COVINCED that someone as maniacal as you can't just be a good person.

He gets the whole “well, the respawn machine!” But he doesn't, he wouldn't go crazy like that, why would anyone?

He's a little nervy around you, gives you a funny look once in a while when you're kind to him, assumes there's some really blatant motive that he just isn't picking up on (there is none).

Shows up outside your room once at night, standing there with that ‘mom I threwed up’ stance just like. “Okay. So. What da hell is wrong with ya?” Hands on his hips, STARING.

“Whaddaya mean it's just a game to ya- pal, look at me, I'm the best player here, y’don’t see me rippin’ their arms off!”

Eventually gets over it, but it takes a while, he's just stubborn. You guys end up best buds and he shares his radioactive ass bonk with you sometimes, usually resulting in a ceasefire as the entire enemy line is annihilated, or you slam into a wall so hard you knock yourself clean out.

~~~

Soldier

Insert the Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme here

First impressions? Is absolutely enamoured by you. You are on the field what he is when in his crazy naked honeyed up state. A force of violence and INSANE destruction.

Definitely tries to assist you by letting you rocket surf directly into the enemies on pretty much every respawn, much to the chagrin on your Medic, who really does just eventually stop trying to follow you.

He's SO ecstatic to find someone that's loco like him when in the heat of battle, but can be Normal outside of it! He's amazed, definitely asks you if you're American every five minutes, just to make sure you're not one of those nice Canadians (shudder).

“YOU. YOU ARE THE BEST SOLDIER IN THIS HERE PLATOON, MAGGOT! I HAVE NEVER SEEN A DRIVE AS HIGH AS YOURS, I THINK SUN TZU WOULD BE VERY PROUD.”

Sometimes he'll have a rough experience in a fight, and after it's all over, he'll come to you for reassurance and to talk!!! He definitely talks about you with Zhanna often, and you guys all hang out often for little chats over food n drink :)

~~

Pyro

You are one of the few people, who in their eyes, is always very vibrant and exciting to be near.

They absolutely LOVE your energy, your kindness is more than welcome at base, and they love being near you and showing you things they've created (upgrades for their flamethrowers, new melees they've concocted, etc.), and on the battlefield, they're following at your heels lighting the world around ablaze, watching the carnage bloom!

Really, really enjoys baking with you, they love baking and cooking generally, but usually it goes kinda poorly, because they can't smell too well under the mask, and tend to space out and lose track of time. Plus the burnt cookies are always really pretty.

You keep them on track with stuff without being pushy, and they appreciate it!! And sometimes you'll find pictures of really cute animals in library books and photocopy them to show them. :)

~~~

Demo

He's not sure if it's because he's seeing double, that the carnage seems a lot crazier than normal, at first.

Eventually realises that the mayhem in the battlefield is at your hands, and makes a mental note to stay out of your way.

That mental note is tossed away the second you come up to him, giddy with some terrible glee asking him to launch you directly into their front lines.

(He obliges, and is amazed at how well you stick the landing.)

Doesn't really register the difference too well, too off his tits to know if you're even talking to him half the time.

You'll pass him his dinner, lovingly crafted with all the food meticulously placed to create a little scene (probably bangers n mash gravy volcano, absolute scran) and he just takes it like. “Oooh, thank you lass/lad! Looks…” Swaying, trying not to drop the tray. “Looks some braw scran, ta!” Then he totters away <3.

Probably invites you to play golf on his slightly more sober days, goes very well of course! You drive the caddy, he hoots and hollers for you to run someone over (Soldier is on the back egging him on).

~~~

Heavy

Somewhat protective, but in a very physical way, where he'll try to body block the enemy from getting at you (and occasionally you from getting at them).

Asks you how you're doing… often, it's like when your elders are concerned but aren't gonna ask if you like, need therapy, he'll just go “Are you alright, дикий?” and when you go yeah what why he's just got his arms crossed, nodding, then walks away.

Is VERY impressed by you on the battlefield, even he's sure he wouldn't be able to tank some of the hits that you do. Your handle on adrenaline is completely spectacular in his eyes.

Would call you wild one, animal, beast, terror, but also throw in little sun when a fight has gone particularly well, proving your fiery fury!!

~~~

Engineer

Probably the closest to you, a little crazy himself, but sane enough off the field.

Highly appreciates your input on anything he's scrapping together, especially when he's tinkering with his turrets. Usually you drive the enemy into them like cattle, so polite questions and curious advice is always treasured.

“Now… I already got the wrangler shield, but that is an awfully good idea there…” Followed by various skeewiff utterances as he works out the kinks of the massive thing he's just haphazardly welded with a folding mechanism onto his sentry.

You'd bring him fresh baked goods sometimes and he wouldn't stop thinking about you for at least a week after, the way to his heart is through food and dear god you give him an arrhythmia <3.

~~~

Medic

Sick of chasing after you after about a week of battles, and eventually begins wondering if he can legally sedate you and/or poke around in your brain to see what makes you tick.

Finds it endearing, how anarchic you are in the heat of war, compared to how civil and polite you are outside of it.

His birds peck at their barred enclosures when they hear your name like they've been accidentally conditioned, knowing they'll be let out for the duration of his usual pacing and rambling session in his office.

“Oh mein Gott, das ist verdammt nochmal unmöglich.” He would absolutely SEETHE over you sometimes, but then you'd come into his office with tea or coffee and biscuits and bird seed and he'd be like oh. Oh you're just nice, huh?

You're the only person willing to listen to his excited rambles about human physiology and general biology, he'd show you vivisection research images, organs, all the sorts until he can see that you're a little offput, then he'll be like,

“Oh, sorry freund! Archimedes tell them it is fine, please. Zhe bird knows these things better than I!” And little mister ‘medes comes and settles down on you for a snug, probably nipping at ya if you don't pet him.

~~~

Sniper

Likes it, LOVES it in fact, he won't show it, but having someone who keeps the enemy's attention long enough for him to get a few picks has him giggling and kicking his feet (metaphorically, of course).

“Oh that one? Aye well… They're about as ruthless as a dunny rat, I'd say, bites like a blue ‘n all.” He'd mutter to anyone who asks what he thinks about you, a strange question, but he's an honest man.

Being a particularly distant man, you don't get very close, but sometimes on late nights when it's too cold for him to be in the camper, he'll settle down in the common room with some knitting going for a few hours before he feels tired enough to head to his room. If you get up for a drink and spot him, he's more than happy for a little chat when you come over and start asking him about what he's doing.

He tries to teach you knitting, which goes alright, eventually offers to teach you some marksmanship but you politely decline.

“More of a hands-on approach, ey? Well, can't knock it mate, seen you take down those blokes like they're nothing but jumbucks.”

~~~

Spy

Is always wearing his cloak and dagger watch for the first while of you arriving, hides in the choke points of certain stations and watches the carnage upclose, trying to stay as still as possible so as not to be seen.

Finds you very amusing, but like Scout, is incredibly sceptical. His curious stalking is not limited only to the battlefield, he often lingers in the shadows of the base just watching you. Mostly when you're cooking, making sure you won't slip anything nefarious into their food.

Does NOT buy any of the stuff you tell them. It's all a little on the nose, all this about working at puppy shelters, saving cats from trees, talking down burglars? Unbelievable, and he will not be convinced.

Does some incredibly invasive snooping, probably literally going through your stuff when you're out of the room, and never really truly comes around to see eye to eye with you.

~~~

General

After a while of you being amongst them, and everyone's settled, Christmas would come up, and much as it would usually be a very casual thing between the lads, everyone would be so enamored with the thoughtful gifts you'd get them.

Miss Pauling would be genuinely so frightened by you, she'd only really see or hear about you on the battlements, not so much when you're at your times of peak kindness. She would also probably not be very convinced by your alleged acts of kindness, but wouldn't be too bothered either way.

[qyuubu]

homicipher human au hcs part 2 (the other humans that live in town):

mr. machete

he’s a skater boy, see ya later boy. he navigates the streets pretty fast because he’s always on his board.

his machete takes the form of an electric guitar. he’s the personification of what boomers believe the ‘disturbed youth’ looks like.

he’s perpetually shirtless, if you don’t count the countless bandages and bandaids on his body as clothing. he gets nicked often. if not because of fights, because of skating.

he also wears a backwards baseball cap and tinted shades to look cool. if he’s not feeling it, he’ll wear a bandana to keep the hair out of his eyes. weirdly enough, the bandana also covers his eyes a bit. but even if you do get close enough to see his eyes, you get whopped by his guitar so quick that whatever you remember from his face just comes up as a blur.

all anyone remembers is his wicked smile. he always smiles. it’s a little disturbing, to be honest.

he’s a goddamn rebel. always making a mess of things and is just itching for an entertaining fight.

he’s notorious around town for ending up in gruesome squabbles, which he wins.

he hasn’t lost yet, not because he’s infallible, but bc he doesn’t fight if he knows he’ll lose. some people call it cowardly but if you live his lifestyle, it’s more about self preservation.

doesn’t care about the rumors surrounding the abandoned apartments and the monsters in it, but whatever is in there, he hopes is a good fighter.

he won’t go in. he minds his own business like that. but when the mc so happens to stumble into his territory at the skate park, all bets are off.

he’s throwing hands.

mr. hood

he’s the town’s community safety volunteer.

though, he opted to take the most difficult shift, which is night shifts. he’s especially active during the rain. he believes he isn’t really needed when the sun is out and the weather is well. but he’s eager to help when times are tough.

he’s always sporting a big hoodie that’s all brown and dirtied up for fetching cats in trees and finding lost items in the rainy night.

he also wears a face mask for safety, and googles to protect his eyes from the rain. no one knows what his face looks like. his entire body is armed with black protective gear so he can perform tasks safely, especially in dangerous weather.

when he sees a frantic girl wearing a white rain coat, clutching onto her clear umbrella and running in the slippery streets during a heavy rain, he insists on helping her out.

once he sees she is safe, he will promptly take his leave.

he has no idea who she is and why she was running, but what matters is that she’s safe. he will keep an eye on her though, just in case she needs his help during a rainy storm once more.

mr. gap

he’s a runaway. he lives in abandoned buildings is known around town as the unconventional beggar.

he asks for anything you have on hand: food, clothes, even your trash so he can sell it. people are initially scared of him, but he never takes anything without consent.

he may not be a thief but he is sort of a creep… while he doesn’t have a lot of ill intentions, he’s always just… staring.

if you catch his reflection, best believe his eyes will be staring right back at yours.

if you pass by his abandoned building, he’s probably looking at you through the sunken-in hole in the wall.

he’s helpful sometimes too! as long as you give him something in return. he does fulfill his promises. if you think about it, he’s kinda like an odd jobs establishment.

for entertainment, he looks through garbage and takes back the things he likes. maybe an old magazine or a broken trinket.

one day, he picks up a discarded paranormal magazine and reads up about the white coat wearing monster that murders all sorts of people in town.

he’s pretty intrigued! a few days later, he meets her as she walks by his abandoned building to get to hers.

he asks for the bloody hand she’s carrying in her plastic bag, in exchange for the information he found about her in that magazine.

part 1:

other homicipher human hcs: