#but wow every once in a blue moon I'm smacked in the face

[wreckofawriter]

Pulled Apart

~Part 2~ ~Part 3~

Pairings: Sirius Black x reader, Regulus Black x reader, Redacted x reader and Redacted x reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and death, swearing

Summary: Everyone is lost in the world as the man soon to be called the Dark Lord rises to power. Your parents are already ready to give their life along with your own for this man. You spend your seventh year in Hogwarts being pulled apart by the expectations for you and the hope placed in you by your childhood friend Sirius and his closest companions.

A/n: The first part to my seires! I'm going to be posting new parts once a week, there are going to be around 10 of them. I hope you guys enjoy!

    The night was a pitch black, the moon hid from the horrors that had taken the earth behind layers of deep grey clouds. The stars gave no signs as they did every other night, they too were afraid. The wind came in nervous gusts which whipped through the dark robes of the pale wizard as he walked through the silent town. Not one window gave off a warm light, but that was normal in Clovelly, people were never up past midnight. 

    The soft footsteps on cobblestone were far too gentle considering where they were leading. A deafening stomp followed by the scream of broken glass would have been more appropriate. But things were rarely as they were seen. The man -if you could call him that much-  didn’t bother knocking on the small wooden door but instead pulled a wand from his pocket and whispered a spell. The hinges which hadn’t been tended to in years creaked as they parted way for the wizard. He padded into the small entry investigating the photographs which hung on the beige walls. 

    The stairs were carpeted, silencing death’s warnings as he continued with his shrunken, bladeless scythe. The prey he sought was fast asleep, her deep blue eyes closed, unaware they would never re-open. The man didn’t linger in front of her bed for long, he had no intention of looking at the woman’s face for longer than necessary. 

    A gust of wind shook the windows, ruffling the small cat’s dark fur as it watched the windows flash green. Life was taken, yet the world spun on, it always would. Life wasn’t the world’s worry.

    “Black!” You snapped stomping into the red and gold common room. No one was quite sure how you knew the passwords each week but no one dared to ask. 

    The called boy turned his head looking over his shoulder to see you marching towards him. 

    James cringed when he caught the expression on your face, “Good luck man.” he murmured moving from his spot next to Sirius on the couch to the chair across from him. 

    “Hey y/n,” Sirius spoke, plastering a smile onto his thin lips.

    You scoffed in disgust as you placed yourself in front of him, hands on your hips, “Can you possibly keep your dick in your pants for more than a minute?” you scowled and James turned a laugh into a cough behind your back.

    “Wow y/n, I didn’t know you wanted my dick too, but I mean I’m game if y- Mother fucker!” Sirius doubled over in pain clutching his soon to be bruised shin.

    “I told you not to fuck around with any of my friends Black.” You said, “And yet. What do I wake up to but Pearl gushing about how she and the infamous Sirius Black are now dating.”

    Sirius scrunched his nose in disgust, “What no way, Pearl and I are not dating.” 

    “Yeah, no shit!” You yelled smacking him upside the head with the back of your hand.

    The boy moaned, rubbing his head, “Come on y/n.” He whined, “It’s too early to be abused.” 

    “It’s also too early to hear one of your best friend’s heart break but here we are.” You spoke, gesturing wildly around you, “I can’t believe you slept with her.” 

    “I told you not to mess with Pearl, Sirius.” Remus called from the top of the stairs, beginning down towards the scene you had created. 

    “Chime out Moony.” Sirius huffed, “This is none of your business.” 

    You now had your head buried in your hands, mumbling tiredly about Sirius’s absolute stupidity.

    “Pearl is the really nice blonde one right?” James asked behind you and Remus nodded taking the armchair next to him. 

    “She sure was nice in bed,” Sirius grinned. His smirk was wiped away as the toe of your dress shoe connected with his shin again.

    “I swear to Salazar, Black!” You shrieked.

    Remus winced, “We’re on last names?” He whispered to James who nodded.

“She hasn’t called him Sirius yet.”  

    Sirius shrugged, “I told her it was only for one night, I didn’t think it would be an issue.” he explained.

“The issue is they always come to me expecting me to get them a date!” You wailed, “And then I have to break their hearts, you dumbass!”

Sirius pondered this for a moment, “Okay I can see how that would be annoying.”

You let out a sigh, “So you’ll stop sleeping with my friends then.” you questioned eyebrows raised. 

    Sirius frowned pouting, “But your friends are so hot.” 

    You threw your hands up in the air, turning to James and Remus who both shrugged giving you looks of pity. Giving up, you dropped beside Sirius on the couch. 

    “You’re such an asshole.” You mumbled, leaning your head onto his shoulder, blowing at the hair which fell into your eyes.

    “You love me.” He chuckled, glancing down at you in amusement.

    You bit your lip humming, “Do I?” 

    You had always hated cold weather, it didn’t help that your common room seemed to be ten degrees colder than the rest of the castle. It was nice in the summer but the winter was miserable. Goosebumps ripped up your arm as you approached the stone wall that had been submitted to memory by every green-robed student in the school. 

    “Purity.” You mumbled and the stones parted. You never liked Slytherins passwords, you always felt sick to your stomach as you watch some muggle-born speak horrible things against themselves simply to get to bed. Your mother had told you she thought the passwords were nothing short of adequate, fitting the house quite well. You had learned that your mother was usually wrong. 

    As you entered the room your eyes wandered to a group of students you knew a bit too well. The rest of the common room was empty as it always was when your meetings -or hangouts as most of the group called them- took place. 

Lucious turned towards you with a sneer. “Where were you y/l/n?” He snapped, voice icy as his eyes. “You’re late.”

    “None of your business Malfoy.” You replied, “You’re not my mother.”

    “He kinda looks like her.” Avery laughed behind the blonde.

    You cracked a grin, “Don’t insult my mother like that, even her nose isn’t that big.” 

    Malfoy scoffed as you placed yourself next to Avery, who always seemed a bit too close. The Black sisters glanced up at you, Narssicia with a soft smile and Bellatrix with a frown of disgust, you didn’t take it personally. 

    “She’s obviously been with our dreadful cousin.” The curly-haired girl spat.

    You rolled your eyes with a sigh, “Where is Regulus anyway?” you mumbled hoping to move the conversation away from your whereabouts. 

    “He said he was going to be here in a few minutes,” Narssicia answered, her eyes returning to the book in her lap. 

    You nodded nervously picking at the dark polish on your nails. You hated these meetings, they made your stomach twist in knots and your heart hammer too quickly in your chest. Despite the often joking nature of the students, you each knew the other would take your life if given the order. It caused your anxiety to spike and eyes to flirt dangerously form person to person. 

    Your gaze lingered on Snape, the newest member of your little club. His hair was plastered down onto his pale face, lips a thin pink which seemed to be bitten raw. He felt your stare and glanced up in a silent challenge.  You thanked Regulus for his timing as the common room’s door slid open.  

    He nodded at the few greetings he received apologizing for his tardiness and taking a seat next to you. Your heartbeat immediately calmed, the younger Blacks presence did wonders for the terrifying thoughts that clouded your head as you stared down the future murders your parents had pushed you to be friends with. 

    You felt yourself subconsciously leaning towards the boy, he never seemed to mind. 

    Bellatrix mumbled a concealing spell and the meeting began. 

    “So any new tasks this week?” Mcruber asked, far too excited to get something terrible done.

    “Not for a while actually,” Malfoy grunted and you felt momentary ecstasy. “The old bat that runs this place knows something is up. Apparently he started his own group of fifthly mudbloods.” 

    Your stomach tightened.

    “I don’t buy it.” The elder Black sister scoffed leaning back on the couch.  

    “It doesn’t matter whether you buy it or not, Bella.” Regulus drawled, rolling his eyes at his older cousin.

    “We are supposed to lay low for a bit,” Lucious explained ignoring Bellatrix who made faces at her younger cousin, “My father suggested we find a different place to meet as well, this is open.” 

    The others nodded in agreement. 

    “So we are just supposed to sit here?” Avery asked, his voice holding a hint of a whine.

    “Sounds like it.” Snape murmured, glancing around the table, his gaze landing on you and staying there for far too long. 

    You felt Regulus stiffen beside you. You looked up at the boy to see him staring straight back at the half-blood who eventually caved. Severus didn’t trust you. You knew that and so did everyone else seated around you. You just prayed that everyone would continue to consider him paranoid as they currently were. Most of them didn’t trust the half-blood himself, but you knew it was only a matter of time before he broke through their walls. 

    The meeting only lasted another ten minutes filled with useless questions being answered as you slowly inched closer and closer to Regulus, Snape’s stares becoming downright frightening as his eyes stayed locked on your form. It didn’t help that Avery had tried to throw his arm around your shoulder twice now. You felt trapped, like a mouse in a cage.

    The third time you had to push the blonde-haired boy’s arm from your shoulders Regulus stood from his seat silencing the conversation that Lucious and Narssica had been having. 

    “She’s obviously not interested, so back off.” He growled, his fists tightening at his side. 

    Avery was taken aback by the actions of the usually quiet male, he opened his mouth to speak, shutting it quickly when he caught the glare you pointed at him. A sly smirk took his visage and he pulled up his arms in surrender, “My bad, I didn’t know she was taken.” 

    You scoffed, a snarl finding your face, “I’m not into you because you’re a disgusting pig, not because I’m dating someone else.” 

    His face grew red, anger darkening his bright eyes,  “What did you just say to me bitch?” he leaped to his feet leaning towards you. You heard Narcissa gasp. 

    Regulus pushed the other boy squarely in the shoulders, sending him back into the couch which you had stood from, backing away quickly.

    “Don’t speak to her that way.” Regulus hissed, one of his hands gripping Avery’s face roughly as he kneeled on his thigh with one leg.

    Mcruber snatched Regulus’s arms pulling him away from the other boy with a warning glance. You heard Bellatrix laughing behind you, her shriek only worsening your mood. 

    “Let’s calm down guys, no need to kill each other,” Mcruiber spoke a palm to each male’s chest, standing between them.

    “You best watch it Black.” Avery spat before shoving Mcriber away from him and storming up the stairs and slamming the door to his dorm room. 

    Regulus dropped his shoulders with a huff and glanced towards you in a soundless question.

    You nodded, Bellatrix still cackling over your shoulder.

    “So protective Reggy.” She giggled.

    Your eyes turned in their sockets, “Shut up Bella.” You glanced at Regulus who had turned away from you, sitting back down on the couch. You made you way next to him hearing Mcrubier cough awkwardly. 

    Snape stood himself, gathering a few books which were set on the dark coffee table in front of him, “If we’re done, I’m leaving.”

    He was only met with nods before he turned on his heel and made towards the common room exit.

    “This makes things easier anyway, considering they weren’t invited.” Mcruiber chuckled reaching for his bag and pulling out a stack of heavy envelopes.

As he distributed the parchment you leaned into the youngest Black, “Thanks Reg.” your voice was a sweet whisper.

The boy only nodded stiffly before you backed away from him to accept the invitation from Mcruiber. You peeled open the wax not surprised to see almost illegible thin cursive writing announcing a ball two weeks from the next day. 

“You’re supposed to bring a date.” Mcruiber huffed, clearly not a fan of the idea, “They have to be respectful to the setting of course.” He didn’t need to elaborate, you all knew what he meant. “Some families from France, Bulgaria, and Germany will be there as well.” 

You nodded along with everyone else, eyes scanning the guest list on the back catching your family’s name along with four dozen others. 

“It’s over Christmas break so if any of you are staying here then you would want to arrange something with your parents.” The brunette explained finishing his rounds and settling into his original seat. 

You felt a familiar sense of dread fill you at a mention of the approaching break, ignoring the painful pressure on your chest you got to your feet bringing your hand through your hair, “I’m heading up to bed.” You stated, “I need a nap.” 

A murmur of goodbyes met your ears as you turned to leave. Just as your foot met the first step leading towards the girls dorm a call pulled you back.  

“What’s up Reg?’ You asked looking up at the younger boy.

He paused, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, “You know what, it’s not important.” he muttered.

You frowned, “Alright. I’ll see you later”

He nodded, “Yeah, see you.” 

    You continued up the stairs, hoping sleep would wipe away the bitterness of the gathering you had just taken part in, unaware of the set of eyes that followed you until you slipped out of their view. 

    You let the meeting slip from your head, the words exchanged in its secrecy did nothing but trouble you. You successfully distracted yourself for three days. Tests and essays made the job easy as you plunged headfirst into the deep waters of education. The last thing you wanted was to face your mother in two weeks’ time with inadequate grades, she would have your head. You found your classes easy enough, it felt good to be like everyone else for a few moments, you were just another kid stressing over Transfiguration notes and procrastinating with your friends. It was easy to forget you were anything but another kid. 

    The normalness you had grown to love was ripped away from you in one cruel movement. 

    It was late at night, the windows creaking from heavy snowfall and harsh winds. You and a few others were pushed from the library where you had taken sanctuary with a thick book under your arm. 

You headed towards the dungeons alone, the castle practically empty from the rapidly approaching curfew. Your hurried steps were cut short when a cat cut in front of you. It wasn't the raggeded Mrs. Norris you were accustomed to. Instead, you were greeted with a brown tabby, its fur neat and trimmed as it gave you an oddly familiar pointed look.

You frowned, you knew this cat. Your mind reeled as you tried to remember its origin. You gasped as the memory snapped into place, “Professor?” 

The cat nodded confirming your suspicion before trotting off towards the east wing. She paused turning to look back at you. 

Catching the message you picked up your pace to follow the disguised teacher. The halls were silent save the murmur of portraits and the occasional wisp of a ghost. You didn’t dare speak unsure of what was happening as you trailed through the castle until you stood in front of a massive gargoyle, its teeth bared at you in a warning. 

You blink owlishly before turning back to the cat which was no longer a cat. Your professor stood in front of you, but she didn’t meet your questioning eyes only muttering a password under her breath before commanding you forwards into the now opening stairwell.

    You started to climb the stone steps only for them to rotate upwards startling you into gripping the wall to your left. 

    Your anxiety had spiked into a near attack. You knew where this staircase led and you knew who was waiting for you. It was the matter of what he was going to say that caused your heart to rush in your chest. 

    The slow spiral upwards had stopped and you were opened to a circular room decorated in mumbling portraits and strange-looking artifacts. 

    “Ah, Ms. y/l/n.” 

    You pulled your eyes away from a set of strange silver instruments to meet your headmaster’s eyes. 

    “I’m assuming you are wondering what you are doing here at this ungodly hour.” He chuckled.

    You glanced at your watch, it was only ten-thirty. You nodded anyway, “Am I in trouble professor?” you asked, trying not to sound as anxious as you felt. 

    He laughed again, something you found irritating as you tried not to shake in panic, “Of course not.” 

    You wondered how that was so obvious considering the circumstances.

    “But I am afraid I am going to have to ask you for a favor.” The humor had dropped from his voice and you gulped, pressing your hands which were slick with sweat together.

    The elderly man motioned for you to take a seat in front of his desk. You did so carefully, your eyes darting around you the way they were taught to when you didn’t know what was going on.

    There was a breath of silence as Dumbledore peered at you over his half-moon spectacles, the portraits had stopped their conversations, and the strange ticking you had been exposed to when first entering had halted. 

    “I would like us to come to an agreement not to lie to each other in this conversation y/n.” He spoke pointedly, your given name sounding strange on his lips.

    You nodded numbly, deciding immediately not to follow through with that accord.

    He paused for a moment too long, a somber look taking his worn features, “I assume you have heard of the man who is calling himself Voldemort.” 

    Your eyes widened, you fought a wince, “Yes I have.” you managed to croak. Your throat felt abnormally dry.

    “You also know of his large and growing number of followers don’t you?” He inquired.

    You felt your back go stiff, “Yes sir.”

    He licked his lips leaning back in his chair, “And we both know your family is apart of that following.”

    You felt yoru breath lodge in your throat, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, professor.” you spoke so cleanly, you surprised yourself.

    He glared down at you, “I thought we agreed not to lie.”

    “I’m not lying, sir.” You respond like a well-trained dog.

    He sighed, “Minerva was right, you are going to be hard to break.”

    You did reply, your face stone, unmoving as you stared deep into midnight blue eyes.

    He broke the held eye contact leaning back in his chair slightly, “Y/n, what is your relationship with Sirius Black.”

    You furrowed your brows, “What does Sirius have to do with any of this?” 

“Sirius has everything to do with this.” 

You hesitated a moment, “We’re friends. We have been since we were young.”

“Yes, you have.” He mumbled, “And what about James Potter?”

This question only confused you more, “I’m sorry sir, if you were just going to ask me about my relationship with a list of boys I will be getting to bed.”

Dumbledore laughed loudly, the tension in the room dispersing as he mentioned for you to sit back in the seat you had risen from, “I’m offtly sorry y/n, this must all be very confusing, I suppose I should get to the point.”

“I agree.” you bit back.

His smile once again dropped, “I have started a group, an organization of sorts to help combat the actions and supporters of Lord Voldemort.” 

You felt the color drain from your face.

“I brought you here today to ask if you would be willing to join us.” 

Your head spun, your fingers instinctively found the skin of your forearm and pinched it to keep you in reality, “I-I’m sorry, what?” the confusion read very clearly in your tone.

“We would like you to join. Sirius fought very hard for us to offer you a spot, James seconded him and Remus was his third.” The headmaster explained, “They all believe that you would be a useful asset on our team.”

Your mouth dropped slightly and you blinked rapidly, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you understand what your asking me.”

“I am very sure I do. I was wondering if you understood.” The man said with raised eyebrows. 

You licked your lips trying to organize your thoughts, “So you want me- a pureblood Slytherin- to join your anti-dark lord group?” You were very aware of the fact that you may have given up your position as a supporter, but you were too baffled to care.

“We would be asking you to be a spy.” He confirmed, “Relay information about the other side for us.” 

And finally, you understood, it all came at you in a rush of dead leaves. A spy. You would be a two-faced snitch for them. An uncertain rage filled you, “You know what, I don’t think you do understand what you’re asking me.” you hissed at the man, “Because what you just asked me to do was to throw away my life.” Your voice was venom, but the man stood unmoved. 

“I do realize that.” He spoke calmly.

“You don’t” you snarled, “Because if you did then you wouldn’t be asking.” 

You stood to leave but was stopped in your tracks when a small boy appeared in front of you. He was a wisp of smoke, his dark hair a mess, grey eyes rimmed in red, heavy tears sliding down his plump cheeks as he cradled his hand close to his chest. 

You turned back to your professor, anger bubbling in your chest, “How dare you.” you sneered your own wand out in a flash.

“Sirius told me to use it.” He replied bluntly, “He told me you would agree. But that you would need a push. I know I’m asking too much of you, but you are needed y/n. The Order needs you.” 

You stood too still, your feet feeling like they were planted into cement, you had already known the answer the second he he asked, you had known it the moment you had stepped into this office. 

“Do you agree to join us y/n?” 

You felt numb, “I agree.”

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