#but worst could include finales that were bad bc of early cancellation

[episodeoftv]

I was feeling impatient so I decided to end the first poll early since these two were pretty far in the lead

Edit: consider what you would submit‚ what you’d vote for‚ stuff like that

Also note that this is only one day long SPEEDROUND

After I get the results of this‚ I’ll probably post a submissions form within the day.

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Ghost BC x Murder

im a simple girl. i have mental illness. i fantasize about being brutally murdered. is this problematic? 1000% yes. am i going to get canceled for this? 1000% yes. Have I been posting on borrowed time since that little caesars post? again, 1000% yes. Here’s this anyways.

TW: murder, blood, gore, manipulation (Papa II, Papa III), stalking (copia), domestic abuse (Papa III), substance and drug abuse (Papa II), Suicide (Papa II and Dew), Sex crimes - all consensual (Dew) these are about how they would murder you so im sure you can imagine the types of bad things it will entail. 

Papa I: For him, it’s a fit of emotion that drives him to kill. One thing piles on top of the next, frustration turns to anger, anger turns to rage. He doesn’t mean to hurt people, but when he gets so worked up, theres nothing that can stop him. All he can see is red until he’s snapped back into reality and sees the red staining his hands and his favorite robe. With you, all you had to do was walk into his office after a few bads days in a row, more bad news in tow, and that’s all it took. He loses his temper on you before your brain can even register that you should run. Before you can even scream. He’s not particularly a weapon guy, he’s more likely to choke you to death or anything he can do with his hands. If he feels so inclined, he’ll grab the nearest solid object to crush you with. He feels remorse, in the end, but still covers it up and hushes the room when they speak about your disappearance. Decently classic case of homicide - its usually someone you know, crime of passion, unplanned.

Papa II: This one hurt me very deeply to write. His case was classic, when he was a kid. Everyone says that when an adult loses it, you could tell from the time they were a kid that they had cracks - too abnormal, or too perfect. Papa had odd behavior but Nihil never had him tested or even looked at for anything because his ego got in the way, and nothing could possibly be wrong with his son. And nothing was really wrong with him. Something just wasn’t right. He felt things strongly: love, hate, depression, elation, anxieties. Sometimes it was too strong for him to cope. Sometimes he would turn to things that would help him deal with the emotional rollercoaster he couldn’t get off of. Other people just got on with him. He started smoking weed in his twenties. That wasn’t enough. He started drinking heavily at 25. By thirty that wasn’t enough either. Stronger, more potent vices were what he needed. Cocaine. Heroin. Anything to make him feel okay - anything to make him feel. And you, you were the light of his life. The only good thing he’d ever known. You were the only person he had met who could keep up with him, but keep him safe at the same time. But eventually you got swept up in the parties and drugs and drinking too. Lost more control as the months and years passed. And one night he thought you were pussing out. Not being fun. That you were being boring and killing his mood. He pushed you until you did more lines, and kept pushing you and pushing you until your nose began to bleed. But he was so gone he didn’t realize. He pushed you and you accepted it because it was the first time you had ever truly been afraid of him. When you overdosed and died on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment, Papa had already passed out in the bedroom. It was three days before he sobered up enough to wake, and when he found you, he called the police and said there’d been a murder. But he knew what happened. He knew what he did. Cocaine has a funny way of making things stick like that. He hung up the phone, and before the police could arrive, took his own life the same way he took yours. 

Papa III: In the beginning, he has a silly little crush. He steals glances your way. He brushes up against you and makes you blush. As you two talk more, he falls deeper. You two become a couple, an item. You tell each other you love them. Years could pass. You move in together. You don’t notice any cracks in him, but he sees them in the relationship. He saw you talking to the new guy at work today. What’s that, you had lunch with him? That’s interesting. He sees the way you look at the barista when he says your name, and hands you your coffee. You say he makes it the best. He sees the way your friends look at him. He goes through your phone once, when you’re sleeping, and doesn’t find anything. he kicks himself for months about invading your privacy and promises himself that he’s going to stop digging. But he can’t tear himself away. When youre in the other room, he’ll go through your purse. The next time he sees you smile at another man in passing, when you get home he confronts you. you say he’s being crazy. he says your crazy for cheating on him. he just loves you. cant you see? he loves you. when he finally chains you to the radiator in the bedroom so you won’t leave him, you’re shocked at how a man you once loved could be this way. When he finally kills you he’s begging you, with his hands around your throat, to understand that he’s not a bad person. He's not a bad person. He's not a bad person. He’s not a bad person.

Cardinal Copia: He stalks, but never gets close. Not like III. He’s aware of the mistakes of his predecessors. He’s smarter than that. More calculating. He would learn you schedule - morning routine, where you work, what you eat, when you get home, night routine, how long you sleep for. When you touch yourself. When you see your friends. At first it was from interest, but he begins to hate you. The way you walk, the way you talk, who you love, who you hate. And he wants you dead for it - but he wont be hasty, no, he’s still smarter than that. he has to remain calm and collected to pull this off. Hate you as much as he wants, he still knows you’re smart. Not as smart as him, but smart. Its thursday night, and you’re home alone getting ready to go out to the new bar in town with your friends. he climbs into the kitchen through a window he knows you leave unlocked for when you yourself forget your keys and need to break in. In the end, he slits your wrists with a knife he pulled from the wooden block on the counter. Good thing he followed you to work and school, he knows your handwriting wonderfully. He watches you bleed out on the floor while he writes your suicide note. You have never met him in your life. Good thing he always wears those gloves to keep everything clean of fingerprints, because the cops never suspect any foul play, and no one has a clue.

Swiss: He doesnt get close to his victims - he doesn’t have time. When you’ve gone through this many people, you start to forget their names, if you even knew them from the start. He takes jobs as an assassin when he needs the money - and it does pay well - but whenever he needs to blow off steam he’ll really go at it. Get creative. He’s a weapons guy, gun by choice but he’ll really use anything, and he knows each in his collection very very well. But in his eyes he isn’t doing anything wrong, he’s killing people that deserve to die, for good reasons (Edward Cullen who??). Racists, fascist, misogynists, homophobes. He was on the news once for throwing a brick at a nazi. You’re the anomaly on his list of victims though. You were an accident of sorts. He got sloppy with one of his jobs, got noticed, and the vic took a hostage - cue you walking into the back room at work at the wrong time - the only way he can get his shot in without risking his own life or alerting others is to shoot right through you. And now that he’s been noticed, he can’t give up the job and run. He memorizes the details of your face before he pulls the trigger, and kills you and the man with his arms around your torso in one shot. He feels the worst out of everyone. Attends your funeral, but stands very far back. Something about your face, the look in your eyes when you died. He thinks about you often, for a long time. When the exact dip of your nose and contours of your cheekbone begin to fade, he pulls a picture of you he cut from the newspaper from a shoebox under his bed. If he regrets any of the bad things he’s done in his life, it was hurting you.

Aether: He’s the one you don’t expect and he knows it. He’s the cult leader of the group - but that doesn’t make sense. He’s not even a leader in any capacity. He’s no Papa, not even a Cardinal. He doesn’t even lead the ghouls, really. But people trust him, and respect him, and that’s enough. The most pull he has in the church is being what you would compare to an advisor for the cardinal. helps him make decisions here and there. They get more drastic as things go on, and the church slowly burns itself down, but Copia is the only one people blame, including Copia, because Aether makes him believe every choice he made was his own idea. Eventually, when the cardinal has become useless, Aether will have him removed. By whatever means he has to take, but ideally not murder, it’s too early to have blood on anyone else's hands in his name, and far too early to have blood on his own hands. Aether promises to rebuild the name of the church, and fix everything the cardinal destroyed, and make things better.. Make people happy, and health again. And every single person drinks the kool-aid. Soon, rather than worshipping any Dark Lord or Old God, people are worshipping Aether. People believe in him with their hearts and souls. People believe he’s the savior. You are the anomaly. You were close with Aether before all of this started, before he was even the cardinal’s advisory. You just think the power has gone to his head, and blame the cardinal with the rest of him. But when you start digging, you realize it’s been his plan all along to have complete and total power To start his own cult. To be worshipped like a god in a place that was built for it. Your death is a stepping stone on the path for Aether to achieve ultimate power, but of all the stones cast, yours was the only one that meant anything. He didn't want to have to kill you. He didn't want you to defect, and put everything he'd worked so hard for at risk. He couldn’t have that. But the road to his ultimate power ends with his own death too - you can’t really be appreciated for everything good you've done for the world until you die, and he knows that. But until then, he will think of you often.

Dewdrop: Kills you for sexy reasons. Not because you wont sleep with him, or he wants to actually hurt you, but because you both got too swept up in the moment. There’s a movie called Sexual Predator and he’s pretty much the guy in that. One minute he’s got his belt wrapped around your throat, tugging on it hard while he’s hitting it from behind. He’s too caught up in the moment to realize you’ve gone limp on the bed. He doesn’t realize anything is wrong until he finishes. And it’s bad. Oh it’s bad. Unlike every other crime he’s committed, he calls the police, and he’s honest about what happened. He’s disgusted with himself. He’ll never have sex again. He’ll never wear a belt again. He’ll never touch another person’s throat again. He’s sentenced twelve months incarcerated along with probation and some hefty fines. Everyone knows what he did, how he did it. You were friends with all his friends - You weren’t together, but you were friends. And they all know he killed you. If any of the above are likely to have their own suicidal thoughts after the murder, Dew is the most likely to do it. He can’t stand the way everyone treats him after he did it. He can't stand living knowing what he did to you and what hes capable of. He can’t go on like this.

Cirrus & Cumulus: When they kill it’s for each other. In a LOT of other HCs i mention that II’s solution to things is to simply “kill them” if they’re bothering you, but the girls actually just do it. If someone touches Cirrus in a club, Cumulus will absolutely pull a gun out of her back pocket and blow their brains out right there. Good thing for the masks. They’ll spend the next few months or years on the road, saying under the radar until it’s safe to go home again. The ghoulettes have a lot in common with Swiss - they kill for what they believe to be a good reason. The difference is that Cirrus and Cumulus aren’t opposed to the more gorey ways of doing it. Torture, manipulation, blackmail, you name it they’ve probably done it. They know a lot of dirty things about a lot of big people, and at their whim they could have all their hearts desire. Trouble is, knowing everyone’s secrets is just a little bit more fun than that. They’ll kill to protect their friends and family, anyone who has ever unintentionally hurt an animal, and anyone that’s standing in their way. They’ll even collaborate with Swiss on a job if it’s gonna take some more elbow grease, and he needs people he can trust to get the job done without leaving behind a crumb trail of evidence.

- Kat

[melodrqmas]

Hey I’m curious because I know you ship Bellarke - what are your thoughts about them this season? And how canon is handling them? I have many and I’m sure you’ve seen them haha but I wanted to know what you thought

Hey! It’s interesting that you ask this because I have seen your metas about s5 Bellarke and I honestly agree with almost everything you’ve said and so I don’t really know how I feel about them at this point. But before I delve into this, I should warn you that I’m not too invested in Bellarke. I understand all sides of the fandoms view about them, both the good and the bad, but I do like them a lot. I reblog the pretty gifsets and graphics that this talented fandom makes for them, and the encyclopedia in my brain that allows me to identify almost every scene from this show by a single frame, does extend to them (I know, what a terribly useless talent!). However, I’ve never really analyzed their relationship in depth, or drew my own conclusions/came up with head canons based on a certain look they gave each other or a piece of dialogue. I’ve never made any fanon content about them, period. When it comes to Bellarke, I like them in a casual fan way, and I think this can be attributed to the fact that my relationship with both characters, mostly Clarke, has always been turbulent, a word which Eliza Taylor loves using when it comes to s5 BC, and that’s a huge part of what I think about them currently.

Right off the bat, the thing I love the most about Bellarke, besides their development, is how they work as a team. Canonically, they are at their best when they’re with each other. And I don’t necessarily mean physically in the same place, but when they’re not at odds with each other. Even this season, getting the bunker open smoothly, saving O from the worms, even the Kara plan would’ve smart, had they known about Octavia’s actual plan. But S3 is arguably the worst points in each of their character arcs (albeit Clarke’s motivated by outside influences, cough cough), only to be mended when they come back together in the fight against ALIE. 

I absolutely agree with Jaha, when he said that Bellamy keeps Clarke centred, and once again when Bellamy said it was the opposite. The Heart And The Head may be a cheesy analogy, but I love it a lot. And I think it’s perfect for them. They complete each other. I definitely believe they are soulmates, even if that’s not romantic. The way they are around each other is deeper than just best bros, or siblings. If C was Bellamy’s sister and he was looking at her the way he does, yiiiiikes. Bell isn’t even as intimate and vulnerable with his own sister as he is with Clarke. I definitely think he loved her, the falling began as early as 1.03 and I think by 2.05, he was whipped. But the problem I always had with them, long before I joined Tumblr, was the fact that Clarke never seemed as into him as he was into her. I think she fell in love with the memory of him, once he was gone. Not that I’m shaming her for not returning his affections, but it’s the simple fact she sometimes takes him for granted.

And here’s where my biggest problem with Clarke first comes in, her leaving after Mount Weather. She acted like the massacre was entirely her cross to bear, and hers alone, while in reality she left Bellamy (and Monty) when they were struggling to hold that cross up by themselves. I know 3.05 was a dark time for the BC fandom, but I honestly agreed with Bellamy. She left her people when they needed her most, just to what? Fraternize with Lexa and the people who abandoned them at the Mountain, the reason they had to wipe out an entire civilization? And for C to come back only when she needed him? It’s a huge slap in the face. I get that she was trying to mend the feud between Grounders and Skaikru, but she was abandoning her own people in the process. 

Me taking the unpopular stance against Clarke in Bellarke drama? Sound familiar? It’s happening right now. Clarke is being a massive hypocrite. She kept egging Bellamy on to murder his sister, and then she (although her imprisonment was not entirely her fault) puts him in a position where he’s forced to do everything short of murdering O, he poisons her. His sister, that he’s spent his entire life protecting. He still didn’t have faith she would wake up from her coma, but he made this sacrifice in part for Clarke and to save Eden/his family. Even if he had murdered his sister, his own flesh and blood that it would have been a futile attempt at stopping the war. Miller and the rest of the army would’ve marched anyways. So when Bellamy comes up with a smart plan to control Wonkru, avoid destroying Eden, and live in peace with Eligius, Clarke is vehemently against it, because it could hurt Madi. I understand Clarke not being into the flame being drilled into Madi’s head, but there wasn’t any other choice. I don’t buy this motherly bond has made her soft, this was something she would have done had it been anyone else. And so she left Bellamy to die, when less than a season ago, Clarke pulled the same shit (leaving O out of the bunker, chaining Bellamy up), and Bellamy turned right around and vowed to Abby he’d protect Clarke. 

All this being said, I’m still not ready to claim that Bellarke is cancelled, or that the writers ruined them. Because the writers haven’t ruined them; they’re playing on previously established character traits. I think even without Becho (I actually don’t HATE becho for what it’s worth) in the picture, it’s incredibly unrealistic that they would reunite and be a canon couple within 4 episodes. They’ve both changed so much, and he’s living by advice that she gave him; he’s using both his head and his heart. Clarke just doesn’t like when this doesn’t work in her favour. 

But I’m not jumping ship right away; this is a story, commonly including things like conflict and drama. It’d be boring if there was no angst, and unrealistic if Bellamy and Clarke’s priorities matched up after so long apart. There is, however, an opportunity for them to come together and reconcile, before they Save The World in typical Bellarke fashion, just like in 3x13. But this is a much bigger conflict, and so the reconciliation will have to be grander as well. And I do have faith that it will. Bob and Eliza have been hyping up the finale for MONTHS, saying there’s some big emotional scene involving these two. 

I would need to see the rest of this season, but I don’t even want them canon right away. they still need to get to know each other again, but they will. Oddly enough, I have more faith in them getting a proper reconciliation then I do Memori. (and I hate that very very much) just because, as I said; these two are the central relationship of the show. Things don’t go smoothly when they hate each other. 

Anyways, thank you so much for this ask, I had A LOT of fun with it. To summarize, when it comes to Bellarke, I’m not too found of what’s currently happening with them right now, but all in all, they still have potential and I’m just here for the ride. I don’t feel the need to worry about them because God knows the fandom does enough of that for me haha.

[rantingsurvivor]

tw: details of abuse, description of past suicide attempts.

My name is Sean Evans, I am an autistic transmasc (ey/em or he/him) who lives in Abbotsford, BC, and from 2018 until June 2020, I was emotionally and sexually abused by Monica Phillips (aka "joyousmonica" or "supruler" on various sites, and an official "Pokemon Professor" who runs Pokemon TCG League events at House of Cards Abbotsford when they aren't cancelled cuz of the 'rona).

I started dating Monica in 2011, and she moved in to my house in early 2012.

In 2018, she cheated on me; when I confronted her, she told me that if I cared about her happiness, I would accept her relationship with the person she cheated with, Beru Bell (aka "spectacularbear"). At this point, Beru (also autistic & non-binary; uses they/them) began sleeping over numerous times a week, using my workspace as a bedroom. At this time, I was trying to prepare for vending at local Pride events, & was using the common area of our suite as my workspace overnight, particularly on nights when Monica was sleeping with the metamour she HAD told me about before starting a relationship (Liz; I'll talk about her eventually). My warning that Beru was going to sleep over for the night was that they changed into their pyjamas & started setting up for bed in my workspace.

I was accused of being "unwelcoming" for asking Beru to let me know when they were sleeping over before setting up for the night. Actually, I wasn't allowed to

Beru and I have another thing in common: we both have gut issues. In their case, onions were a trigger. When I eventually asked Monica to let me know when Beru was coming home from work with her so I could make sure there were some options they could eat without taking over our only bathroom for hours, Beru interrupted our conversation from across the room to shut down my boundaries. I later got in trouble for a tweet expressing my frustration at the incident, because it made Beru upset. I was accused of not accommodating their autism... because I asked for the ability to schedule my evening & the ability to access our single bathroom that was now being shared by FOUR people, and said that I needed to be able to set boundaries.

Beru Bell did not respect a single boundary I set until the point I insisted on going completely non-contact with them.

It's worth mentioning, throughout this whole thing, Beru had an apartment where they lived alone. Until *I* suggested it (after several months of attempting to be polite), the two of them did not spend any significant amount of time there. Beru DID spend a large amount of time at Monica's work & was just as "bad with boundaries" there as they were elsewhere, to the point where multiple people expressed concern that Monica would be fired from her job at House of Cards in downtown Abbotsford over it.

For a while after I went non-contact with Beru, I thought that Monica might have actually understood why I couldn't be around a person who constantly violated my boundaries, including one memorable occasion where I was lying in my bed half naked with the door shut & talking to Monica, & Beru walked in without knocking or so much as a single word with me & climbed into the bed to cuddle Monica.

During this period, Monica made a new friend, Claire. Monica was very concerned about Claire liking her... and Beru. She was not so concerned with Claire liking me, however. Claire has since accused me of lying about Monica, because Monica told Claire (as well as a bunch of other people, including people that I've never met) that I had no reason to actually dislike Beru & was... idk, jealous?

Monica's story became "Sean consented to me dating Beru & then changed his mind," which is also what she tried to tell the couples counselor we visited.

Not long after this whole mess began, Monica & I both started HRT. Yes, she'll probably accuse me of outing her, no, I don't give a shit- it's relevant to how she abused me. You see, Monica didn't like condoms, and since HRT had prooobably made us both at least temporarily infertile, she didn't see why she should wear one for PIV with me. I was not comfortable with this, but after she started arguing with my objections, I gave up fighting; I was afraid of "picking a fight" by explaining just how uncomfortable I was, not just from the pregnancy-risk induced dysphoria, but because she wanted to have unprotected sex after cheating on me. This happened twice before I basically started ignoring her requests for PIV & exclusively going down on her instead.

Of course, she had to ruin that, too. One day in either late September or early October 2019 (I am Extremely Bad At Dates, but I can narrow it down to like a 10-day window based on the light from outside & other details I remember a lot better than specific dates) Monica came home from Beru's earlier than usual & begged me to go down on her. I can't remember if she actually said the words "right now" when she asked, but she hadn't even finished taking off her shoes when she yelled "Seaaan, I really want you to go down on me" across the house. I remember thinking a couple of things in particular:

"I guess this must be an effect of progesterone that took a few months to kick in?" and

"Liz isn't just at work, she's on a trip, so there's no chance we'll be interrupted by her getting home early."

When I actually started, though, I was kinda confused at first. She tasted strange, and the texture of the fluids was off. Again, I thought it must be the changes to her body chemistry... until I'd consumed enough of the vaginal fluid coating her dick to actually taste HER and realize that what I was tasting before probably came from Beru.

The worst part is, I felt like I was obligated to get her off before I confronted her to confirm what I tasted. So I did. And then I confronted her about whether she'd had bareback PIV with Beru before getting me to go down on her, & she confirmed it. And I felt bad about upsetting her by confronting her, & blamed myself.

& this continued. Every 3rd night, she spent the night at Beru's. It became impossible to schedule around her on those days- when she was leaving, when she'd be back. I'd spend hours on the days she was coming home caught in a limbo because of my inability to actually set a schedule. Monica became even crueler & more distant.

It finally came to a head when I tried to kill myself twice in 4 days in June, at which point she was switching meds and cycling through (equally cruel) manic and depressive states. Both of my suicide attempts this year were motivated entirely by my desire to avoid or cease inconveniencing Monica and Beru. The first attempt was opportunistic & unplanned- around 3 am I realized I was bleeding internally, thought it was a potentially fatal rupture... and decided to try to go to sleep instead of contacting Monica for help. I finally gave in and sent her a message saying I needed to go to the hospital around 6pm the next day.

The second time, I wrote a pseudo-will, calculated dosages, & decided to gamble on whether Liz would brave the awkwardness of actually saying something to me when she got home or just hide in her room & ignore the world. Fortunately for me, she acknowledged me when she got home, so I asked her to hide the painkillers.

That's the night I dumped Monica. Since I broke up with her, she played games for like 2 months about getting her stuff from my garage, continued accused me of sending her to the psych ward (she was on her way there well before my attempts- burning thru half an oz of weed a week & dabbling in shit like GHB while underplaying the fact that her new meds didn't play well with weed was her call, & she made it pretty clear that my concerns weren't really worth paying attention to), and sent the cops to my home on a false "wellness check" in retaliation for rescinding a 5 star review of her workplace & pointing out that using the place where you work *with kids* to meet up with the person you're cheating with isn't cool.

Now, I end up seeing her every time I let my guard down traveling thru downtown Abbotsford, which is a problem, because guess what part of town my house is in? 🙃

TL;DR: Monica Phillips of Abbotsford BC is a rapist who emotionally and sexually abused an autistic trans person over the course of two years. Her partner Beru Bell initiated & participated in parts of the abuse, and repeatedly used their autism dx as an excuse to violate other people's boundaries.

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 5 - “i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat” - Maynor

Stephen

Ahahaha by the grace of the inactivity gods im still here. This is my karma for suffering through the preseason of Erinsborough. Now, I may not have actually gone home, but who knows I had an gut feeling and those are usually right.

Stephen

*laughing about surviving* Jay: Music Videos! *stops laughing*

Dylan C

me: [volunteers to edit for this challenge] me: [regrets this 5 min later]

John

ok i have a LOT of tea that needs spilled so sit back, relax, and enjoy this feature presentation:

-first things first, cormac. why couldn’t you have just voted. i would have one more ally and stephen would be out. so thanks.

-second, zoe told me about her advantage and how she has connections to the other side so that we should have a group of 5 at the merge. so that’s mind blowing. i’m just like in shock because in a way, cormac getting pulled allowed me to be zoe’s number 1. and that’s amazing. we stan.

-third, sierra is driving me insane. constant overdrive from her, and she’s starting to cross the divide between helpful and micromanaging. she can micromanage herself out of the game for all i care.

-fourth, timmy is ADORABLE. i’m definitely trying to get a cross tribal alliance with him bc wow. he cute. like really. he’s cute.

Keith John

Well if episodes are named here, This title of this episode would be "How you get screwed When tribal council gets Cancelled."

From being in a safe position last night to waking up and realizing that I am screwed in this game.

First of all, THANK YOU CORMAC for going out at the worst time possible. Last night my name was thrown out by Stephen. So obviously people entertained the idea.I do feel that I would have stayed but Cormac's evac has changed alot.

I had a planned final three with Cormac and Zoe, with Cormac gone. I'm down one alliance member.

Stephen is still in the game. And I know he is targeting me.

Maynor never spoke to me about the vote much. Inspite of me approaching him before tribal to see if he wanted to work together

John. who said he would have my back and would tell me if anyone would throw my name out. Never told me about Stephen's plan. I am sure he knew about it.

Sierra and I haven't bonded much personally. A little my fault there.

And Lastly Zoe. I know for now she definitely has my back. And I have hers but it feels like my game is extremely dependent on her. I feel alot of people want to work with her. And how long will she want to work with me? That I don't know.

Honourary mention: JAY thanks for throwing a challenge that I would suck at the most. I hate being on camera, Hate singing unless I wanna punish someone. 

Raffy

Cormac being gone kind of relieves me since he has been giving me bad vibes ever since day 1 of this game. Now that's just one more person that I do not talk to out of the way. I figure that merge is happening at 11 because Jay said there was a twist which can only mean that it is merge or that someone is coming back into the game. Maybe both. I'm just going to focus on winning this challenge for my tribe by providing the lip sync of my life. This shit is about to be so FIRE.

Raffy

I think I am fully in crackhead behavior. I just messaged 6 people at the same time trying to have conversations with them. This one world has made a mess of me, and I do not like it. Also, I am pretty much giving up on the idol because I don't want to go through the effort of hunting for it. So, instead, I'll just pray that it isn't used against me.

Maynor

Well. Now im not sure if Stephen vote was true or not but i have to rely on that my allies were gunna be with me. Its sad seeing cormac go since he was someone i connected with. But im glad it was done before tribal and not after tribal. Im hoping we could win immunity this round since im still feeling a little nervousish. 

Maynor

Catch me voting out John for calling Timmy cute.

Omg. Like i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat. Them finding out we are dating. 😂😂

Raffy

I kind of put my neck out there in this challenge by suggesting the song. While I am not editing the video, I did make the song suggestion which is almost as important. Perhaps this could lead to my downfall. Furthermore, I talked to Dylan and they said that only themselves, Ellie, Justin, and I submitted videos which means we are missing Timmy's and Joseph's. Plus, editing takes a long time, so Dylan might not even use their videos if they are late. I just hope what people managed to film is enough. I've never won a music video challenge, and I am hoping this game can change that. I'm not that confident though. 

Raffy

I think I have made some strong connections in this tribe and the other. The people who I have talked about staying strong and working together include Justin, John, Dylan, Ellie, Timmy, and Keith. This seems like a diverse group of people that I can fall back on if one ends up turning their back on me. I always have to have back-up allies, otherwise I am liable to get voted out early in merge which I suspect is soon. I just want to establish myself in another alliance, but that seems hard in this game. I don't know who would be in that new alliance, but it would be some combination of the people I mentioned and others who I get good vibes from. Let's pray for me!

John

if rupaul was judging this music video challenge, she’d be telling us to sashay away. we are literally on the level of valentina with her mask on bad.

Ellie

Let’s hope that this damn video comes togather 

Stephen

We’re losing this challenge. Theres only about 4/5 of us in the video, a lot of the video is from the original music video and the rest is... ok, but not great. Dylan CI wanna say we have a better video but I'm gonna be the most biased on the tribe since I edited the damned thing for about four hours. I had to sacrifice some synchronicity a little bit towards the beginning to get Ellie in for the 10 seconds for the extra points. I had originally trimmed her clip to what I could match up the best, but then I double checked the post lol. Hope the judges don't care too much there.

Dylan C

I'm not even gonna go feral. I'm just gonna lay face down on my kitchen floor for a while.

Stephen

I.... okay, im not complaining. But yeah judges thanks but the fuck?

Dylan C

I'm like, actually upset right now? Like not so much that we lost, but that I spent all that time editing, when I've been worried about getting all my homework done this weekend but I volunteered to edit and wasn't about to back out cos that'd be shitty!!, only to lose by 20 motherfucking points. And also? I worked with what my tribe gave me bitch!!! Raffy was the only one who recorded the whole song, Justin did like half, Ellie and Joseph only gave me short clips, and Timmy was sick so he didn't film anything? I just wasted my entire afternoon and evening on this when I have real life shit I should've taken care of, but I made a commitment to my tribe, and for what? Tribal that's going to be happening while I'm at one of my Thanksgiving events! Granted, that was going to occur regardless upon losing since I'll be busy both Thanksgiving and the day after. But fucking still. Kinda just wanna ghost the world atm.

John

i’m kinda torn that we won. on one hand, we’re safe. on the other hand, i wanted to vote out stephen. so like, i’m feeling mixed emotions. these people will be dangerous to take to the merge. i hope it’s not next.

Dylan C

Kinda funny how I was so zazzed to be strategic at the start of this but I really haven’t been since. Strategy? I don’t know her. Also I’ve been ass about socializing one on one with ppl on the other tribe so I have a feeling that’ll bite me in mine. 

Sierra

By some miracle, we’re safe! I’m so glad that we don’t have to vote anyone out right now... especially because I don’t have my vote right now. Maybe I can make it to the merge and hide for the first vote there without having to vote. 

Joseph Collins

I am confusion. Dylan did such a good job editing. Our tribe and group is such a great mix of personalities and stories. And they came together to blend and make an amazing video. I actually got emotional watching it. I was very surprised to find out we lost. And now, we have to vote someone off our tribe. I hate it so much. I feel like it’s gonna be Timmy. He was absent in the time-crunch immunity challenge. Even Justin showed up and showed out which I thought was awesome. I like Timmy. And I feel like this is a hard vote for others so now I have to go be cutthroat Jo

Justin

Alright, so another tribal for us. I feel better than last time, but I'm still not 100% confident I won't be targeted again. Before the results for the challenge came in though, Raffy approached me and started talking to me some more about working together which makes me feel better keeping him around. Especially since I realized that he talks to me more than Ellie, so honestly I want her out now cuz whenever I talk about working together she leaves me on read. So, in conclusion I don't want you in the game lol. At least Raffy talks to me and says he wants to work with me, even if it might be fake. I told Joseph that I would like Ellie out, but he says Timmy cuz he doesn't talk to him and he feels Ellie could be our shield. I don't want him to go yet because I feel like he would vote with me, but I'm not jeopardizing my game to save him since he barely talks to me too. Although Joseph makes a good point that Ellie can make a good shield, I feel like we have other shields to hide behind in Raffy and Dylan. Plus, I feel like she has more connections than Timmy could get if he keeps playing the way he is.

Maynor

Im so happy that we were able to pull of the win in immunity. Im making it to the final 11. I really want to make it far in this game. I am really hoping Timmy stays alive. Like i know its bias cuz we are together. But we normally dont play the game together. Im just hoping we can make it far together this time. Plus ❤️ Jay. It would be amazing if i won this game. Me winning my first and last game would be pretty awesome. So im going to try my hardest.

Timmy

So apparently Justin is going around saying my name. Does this idiot not realize that I’m the reason he stayed last tribal we went to. Like seriously, and apparently he’s telling everyone the same thing that he’ll be with them always. And he calls me inactive, like sorry you message me at 9am when I’m walking into work and j can’t answer you until like 5pm when I get out. He better leave this tribal. I wish it was happening tonight just to also move things forward.

Dylan C

Me? Lying by omission to Ellie? It’s more likely than you’d think. Justin gave me her name earlier, and I tried to talk him out of it. He made a comment about keeping it between us. Now Ellie’s told me that Justin through her name out. “Between us.” Sure, Jan. And hey, I never mentioned it to Ellie or Raffy in our alliance chat (which exists as of last night). So I did keep it between us unlike him. Didn’t mention it because he had a decent point about Ellie’s strong social game, but now isn’t the time to try to get her out, IMO. Especially since I’ve just allied with her. Granted, I’ve turned on allies shortly after making alliances before but that’s not happening in this game. No way. So, I just acted like I didn’t know when Ellie told me and I’ll keep on that. That’s how I’ve been doing a lot: acting like some information people has given me is new to me (usually with Joseph tbh) when it isn’t new at all. Just kinda agree, maybe say I was already thinking about that, but not imply that I’d been Discussing it, depending on how I’m talking to.  

Ellie

So Justin is scrambling like HARDCORE, He threw Timmy’s name out and hen my name out right after saying that we were tight, and he’s so paranoid and it’s driving all of us crazy. Like we have until tomorrow night, chill out. And Jospeh really wants Timmy out but I’m like IF WE TAKE JUSTIN TO MERGE HE WILL FLIP WITHIN FIVE MINUTES!! Timmy might not be the most active but at least he’s fucking loyal. Raffy, Timmy, and I want Justin out so badly. Dylan is trying to listen before making a concrete decision, and Joseph and Justin want Timmy out. Justin even wants me out apparently.

RaffyA lot happened today, so I am going to break it down. Last night, Timmy, Ellie, and I (Just Go With It) discussed the vote early. Timmy suggested that we might want to get rid of Joseph or Dylan since he thought he would be able to sway Justin, since he considers Justin a close ally to him. That's when we all compared notes that Justin had claimed his apparent closeness to everyone on the tribe. This immediately put him on my radar as it could be a sign a double-crosser later down the road. As was not going to push anything since tribal was two days away, however I did talk with Ellie a little bit and she seemed down to vote Justin since she had a close relationship with Joseph and Dylan. While this was happening, Dylan created the Hypothetical Alliance with Ellie and I. This is great news since that means Ellie and I have control over two other votes (Timmy and Dylan) based solely on votes. In this way, whoever I wanted gone would go. Justin messaged me early in the morning asking about the vote. He heavily suggested that we vote for Timmy because he is inactive and bad at challenges, but those are the things that I want in an ally going into a merge. Besides that, Justin was asking incessant, paranoia-filled questions regarding the vote and would not let up. It is safe to say that he doesn't get that he's being incredibly messy and scramble-y when he doesn't have to be. The vote isn't until tomorrow, yet he's acting like it's in thirty minutes! The King of Crack right here! Anyways, so I told Ellie and then she was experiencing the same thing, so we then told Timmy. Timmy instantly wanted him gone which meant what I wanted from the beginning was going to happen. Furthermore, I learned from Ellie that Justin does not trust me and that he thinks I am vague and noncommittal. Not only that, apparently Ellie heard him say her name from someone. This dude is incredibly dangerous for my alliance! So, I was determined to see him go and to get everyone to go after him. Joseph was a tough nut to crack. He was very adamant today about voting out Timmy and keeping Justin. Apparently, Ellie got through to him, but I do not know how well that worked out for her. I have a feeling that Justin also said that he was tight with Joseph to the latter as he did with everyone. And Joseph thinks it is serious which means they'll be a powerful duo going into merge. I have to keep my eye on Joseph and make sure he doesn't slip from my grasp. Other than that, I managed to get Dylan on board with the vote as they thought Justin's paranoia and overall messiness was also a danger going into merge. Finally, Zoe approached me today asking who I felt good with. I knew she was sniffing for an alliance so I said Ellie, Dylan, and Timmy. She suggested that, since a merge was coming soon, that we create an alliance with Dylan, Timmy, and John making us a strong 5. I immediately agreed of course. A strong alliance helps me navigate the merge more comfortably and easily. Plus, in that alliance, I have Dylan and Timmy to have a majority over the decisions. So, if it came down to us 5, I would be good. Not only that, but this means that Dylan and Timmy will vote together in this tribal along with Ellie and I, ensuring that Justin goes to EoE. This is all working out for me. I do not know whether to tell Ellie about this alliance eventually, but I am planning on keeping it pretty tight-lipped for the most part. What doesn't kill her makes her stronger. And that's what you missed on Glee Johndamn. who knew i’d align myself with the perfect ride or die. she has an advantage and NOW she has an idol?! she is STACKED, and now i gotta protect her at all costs.

Maynor

Ive been talking to Keith a lot more now but heard from Timmy that people have been saying that he has been doing that with everyone so idk what to think of our bonding. Like i would like to think he would be on my side but who knows. We been talking about pokemon cards and the funko pops that i have. Its been fun. Im really glad talking to him more. 

Keith John

Due to thanksgiving. Tribal was moved a day ahead and everyone was busy celebrating. So things have been slow.

I decided to take the opportunity to complete the fox portion of the idol hunt. which turned out to nothing, As Zoe already informed me and Cormac that she got the advantage. after informing her I told her I will give the other path on the idol hunt a try. didn't want to go behind her back and do it. especially we are expecting a swap. this is my first time playing so I'm not sure that its a sure swap or another twist. 

Also finally I messaged Timmy again. After he didn't reply to me the first time. which was like 10 days ago. I know since I felt that I wasn't in the best position possible during the last tribal. I should have made an attempt before to talk to him as I need people, any people who want to work with me. But since I have had previous instances when I worked abroad, when people immediately snubbed or ignored me or changed their attitudes towards me when they found out that I am a Pakistani. N for a moment I felt like Timmy had decided that he didn't want to work with me. And me being a Pakistani was the reason. Which I guess is stupid on my part, I saw he added other people from the game to his skype. But didn't even reply to me. So When Zoe brought up the possibility of working with him. I decided to approach him again. This time he did reply. he seems nice but reserved. hopefully, we swap on the same tribe since we might have mutual friends who want to work together. But I would also like to make a genuine friendship with him and whether that becomes an alliance or not. that's to be seen.

OK Signing off for the night.

Timmy

People are quiet today in PMs but i hope that’s since we talked about tribal yesterday. Justin better be going bc he’s a snake ass bitch and I can’t deal with that shit.

Zoe

I got an idol, folks!!!!!!

I'm incredibly surprised at the rest of the tribe's laziness, considering I now have an advantage and an idol. The downside of the idol is that I have lost my vote next tribal, so now I really have to have trust in my tribe members and alliances cross tribal to keep me going through the twist, unknown as of five minutes before tribal. I predict a swap, but (not) knowing Jay makes me doubt that as well.

I'm still really sad about Cormac, but it's my game, not his game. As long as I can still count on my other connections, I'll just have to go on strong and know that it wasn't his time.