#but worry not cause we still have A LOT of different funny ideas to draw ☺️

[lenlen8]

Papa? Bist Du zuhause?

...

Es war den Versuch wert.

Es wird nie mehr so sein wie fruher, oder?

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 26/34 - madeline

[Read on AO3]

Feeding the baby is slow going, but Mulder thinks they ought to cut her a little slack. It is her first day, after all. Eventually, she takes a longer pause and yawns, her tiny mouth opening wide and showing off her gums.

“That’s a big yawn for such a small person,” Mulder says, watching as Scully sets the bottle aside, lifting Madeline to her shoulder to pat her on the back. It isn’t long before she successfully expels a burp, drawing a chuckle out of Mulder. She’s so good with her already. He can’t wait to see his partner grow and change as a mother. Which reminds him: Mother’s Day is coming up. He’ll have to do something to celebrate.

“It really happened,” Scully says, marveling once more at their situation.

“It did,” he says, then thinks. “Should we tell your mom now?”

She laughs, nodding her head in agreement. Yeah, it’s probably safe to share the news now, isn’t it? “She’s gonna be beside herself.”

“She’s not gonna speak to us for months, for keeping this from her,” Mulder says, the joke an attempt to alleviate the tinge of genuine worry he has.

“I don’t know, I think we’ve got a pretty good Get-out-of-Jail-Free card here,” Scully says, looking down at the baby and bouncing her gently. “She won’t be able to stay away from her first granddaughter.”

Just then, Mulder gets a whiff of something not so pleasant, and he chuckles nervously. “Phew, are you sure? Cause this little stinker certainly knows how to clear a room.”

Scully gives him a thinly-veiled look of amusement, but he can tell she’s put off by the smell too, even with her strong forensic pathologist’s stomach. This will take some getting used to.

“Well, I got to be the one to give her her first bottle,” she says. “You want to do the first diaper change?”

“Somehow, I don’t feel like that’s a fair trade,” Mulder says, laughing. Even so, he doesn’t hesitate to lift the baby from Scully’s arms and carry her over to the changing table, which is outfitted with all the supplies they could possibly need. 

Scully stands by on the opposite side of the table for moral support, watching him with a funny smile on her face. It takes a second for him to find his rhythm—a real live baby with flailing legs is a bit different than an inanimate baby doll, after all—but he vows that in no time, he’ll be a pro. 

“There we go,” he says, tossing the dirty diaper into the trash can from a distance. “A 3-pointer! And the crowd goes wild!”

Scully rolls her eyes, lifting the baby back into her arms and burying her nose in Madeline’s hair.

“How’d I do?” Mulder asks.

Scully smiles up at him from beneath her thick lashes. “Fresh as a daisy,” she says. “I should probably try to get her to sleep. Are you going to call your mom?”

“Yeah,” Mulder says, rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah, I’ll call her later tonight. She usually plays bridge with some friends Tuesday afternoons. At least, I think she still does.” In truth, he hadn’t talked to her much since her release from the hospital, a fact that he really needs to remedy.

Scully nods.

“Well, could you get my mom on the phone and let her know to come? I’m going to get Maddie cleaned up a little before we have visitors.”

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea, Scully,” he says. “When I call her from the hospital, it’s usually not good news.”

Scully gives him an encouraging look before laying the baby in her bassinet for a quick sponge bath. “Well, this is the perfect chance to change that up, don’t you think?”

She’s right, of course. He owes Margaret Scully an awful lot. Let this be the first step toward earning the kindness she has so freely bestowed so many times over the years.

He fishes his cell phone out of his pocket, pressing the buttons for speed dial 4. It only rings twice before it connects.

“Hello?” her voice projects.

“Hey, Mrs. Scully.”

“Fox? Is there something wrong?”

He sighs. He can almost see the pinched Scully look of concern on the elder woman’s face. That’s what he gets for constantly being the bearer of bad news, he supposes. He glances at his partner and then back at the boring pastel colored painting of a flower on the wall.

“Nothing’s wrong, Mrs. Scully,” he assures her. “Actually, it’s kind of the opposite.”

“I don’t understand—”

“How quickly can you get to the hospital in Annapolis?” he asks. “Bearing in mind that no one’s hurt, there’s been no disaster. For once, it’s good news.”

“The hospital?” she questions, still sounding worried despite his reassurances. “I can leave now, so maybe 45 minutes? You’re sure everything’s alright?”

“Promise,” he says. “Dana would have called you herself, but she’s… busy.”

“If you say so,” Maggie says doubtfully.

Gee, he wonders where Scully got her skepticism from. 

“Room 509 when you get here,” he says into the phone, checking his watch for the time. “See you soon?”

He can hear the rustle of a jacket and car keys on the other end of the line. “Yes– yes, I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon.” 

-.-.-

“No, you must have misunderstood me,” Maggie says to the nurse leading the way through the hospital corridors, “I’m looking for Dana Scully in room 509. This is the maternity ward.”

“Yes, ma’am. Room 509.”

“But that can’t be right,” she says, her brows furrowing in confusion.

Maybe Dana is working a case that involves a pregnant woman that required her medical expertise. But why would Fox call her asking her to come?

“You can go on in,” the nurse says as they arrive outside the room.

Thoroughly confused and not knowing what to expect, she pushes open the door. On the far end of the room, Dana sits on a couch, her arm resting against a cart of some kind, while Fox stands, his back to the door, hunched over the same cart. He turns and a smile spreads across his face, and Dana quickly gets to her feet, looking equal parts excited and nervous.

“Mom!” she says.

“Dana? What’s going on?”

She’s not dressed in her doctor garb. She is, however, wearing her usual FBI clothing, though it looks a little rumpled. Her daughter is usually so prim and polished—to gain the respect of her male peers, she supposes—it’s unusual to see her looking anything less than professional on a work day.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” she says, walking quickly toward her with only a cursory glance back at Fox. “There was always a chance it wouldn’t work out, but…”

She runs out of words to say, opting instead to grab her mother’s arm and start tugging her to the other side of the room. The beaming smiles on their faces are unlike any Maggie had seen in quite some time.

As they get closer, Maggie sees that the cart she saw earlier is in fact a hospital bassinet, and inside lays a baby, wide awake and blinking as she holds tight to Fox’s finger.

“What– how–?” she begins, stuttering, her hand coming up to clutch her metaphorical pearls. “Dana, is that–?”

“Mom, I’d like you to meet your granddaughter,” Dana says, her voice shaking with emotion. Maggie looks up at her, then back at the baby. Tears pool in Dana’s eyes, and she supports her mother as they step up to the bassinet so she can get a good look.

“Oh, she’s beautiful, Dana!” she says, feeling her own eyes begin to water. “But, how? I was with you just a few weeks ago. And, is Fox–?”

“Mulder and I– Well, it’s a long story,” she starts. “Last year, I decided to try in vitro fertilization, and Mulder agreed to… help.” 

Maggie looks up at that, and she doesn’t miss the blush as it spreads across the man’s cheeks. He ducks his head, trying to focus only on the baby.

“It didn’t work, which is why I didn’t tell you,” Dana continues. “I didn’t want to… get your hopes up.”

“Oh, Dana,” Maggie says, looking sad. She wishes her daughter would confide in her more. She stores things up for so long, that when it all finally comes out, it’s hard to be of any help. She has so many questions, and she’s not sure Dana will give her all the answers.

“I thought that was my last chance to be a mother. But then, a few months ago, Mulder said that—” 

It clearly makes her emotional to think of, now, whatever her daughter’s partner had offered to do. 

“He said that if I wanted to try adoption, he’d do it with me.”

Adoption.

“I can’t believe it,” Maggie says, in awe of the tiny baby, and of the man who had made all of it possible. Fox Mulder had changed her daughter’s life forever, and she doesn’t think there’s any way she could possibly repay him.

“I can’t believe it either,” Dana laughs, and she sees Fox nod his agreement. This is a crazy thing that they have done. She'd thought that something was up with the two of them lately, of course, but never in a million years would she have guessed this. 

“Would you like to hold her, Mrs. Scully?” the man asks, gently lifting the baby out of her bassinet.

Overwhelmed and caught off guard by the sight of Fox Mulder holding a child, Maggie can only nod as she accepts the tiny bundle into the cradle of her arms. Tears spring to her eyes.

“Oh…” she sighs, unable to keep the tears at bay. “This is such a… a wonderful surprise. What’s her name?”

“Madeline Samantha Mulder,” Dana says proudly, glancing up at her partner in some form of unspoken communication.

That grabs her interest. 

“Mulder?” she asks curiously. “So you’re…” She gestures between the two of them with her free hand, and catches the glint of a ring on Fox’s left ring finger. Her eyebrows raise.

“We decided we’d raise the baby together. To make the application simpler, we got married,” Dana answers.

Married?!

“When?” she asks, equal parts thrilled and furious that she’d been left out of these plans.

“Christmas Eve.”

“Christmas…” she whispers, thinking back to that day. “That’s why you two had to go rushing off? You were getting married?” she says, aghast.

“Mom—”

“Your entire family was in town, Dana, even Charlie! Don’t you think we would have liked to be there for you on your special day?”

“It isn’t like that,” Dana says, her frustration rising. “It was just a formality. We went to the courthouse. We needed the papers so that we’d be seen as a couple looking to adopt on our applications. Otherwise, we might have been rejected. And you know they’re not the most accepting of single mothers—”

Wait, wait, wait. Back up. 

“I don’t understand,” she says, “You’re married but not… together?”

Fox and Dana look at each other, and Maggie knows the answer before they say it. Her stomach sinks.

“No,” Dana says, a little hint of disappointment in her voice. “Not really.”

Glancing between the two of them, Maggie detects disappointment from both sides, not that either of them can probably tell. They’re so blind to what the other is feeling, that it would be funny if it didn’t make Maggie so sad. All the things they’re missing out on, just because they’re both too stubborn to admit the truth. 

It’s probably only a matter of time anyway, she decides, no use harping on about it for now. If another month goes by with no sign of progress, she'll say something. That's as far as she'll go.

“You two are ridiculous, you know that?” she says curtly, pressing her lips together. “Frustrating.”

“Now you sound like my mother,” Fox jokes, in that self-deprecating tone of voice she wishes he’d stop using.

Maggie sighs, glancing back down at the gurgling baby in her arms. She sure is awfully cute.

“You’re lucky you gave me a granddaughter for all this nonsense I have to put up with,” she says, though not unkindly. She can say this at least about Fox and Dana: this baby will know a kind of love few people in this world get to experience.

They just have to pull themselves together first.

-.-.-

Maddie falls asleep on Mulder’s chest sometime after Mrs. Scully starts talking about breaking the news to Scully’s brothers, and to be honest, he’s glad for the distraction. It does, however, mean he’s kind of trapped there when Scully decides to go ask a nurse about bringing up some lunch for them from the cafeteria, leaving him alone with her mother and the baby.

They sit in silence for a while, neither really knowing what to say. At a certain point, though, Mulder can’t take the quiet anymore.

“You think Scully’s crazy, don’t you,” he says, more of a statement than a question.

“I’m not sure I know what to think,” Maggie answers. “About Dana.”

Mulder winces. He’d have to stop doing that. “Sorry, habit.”

“Ever since she met you, her life has been upside down and backwards from what I always thought it would be,” she continues.

“I know.”

“I don’t blame you, Fox.” Maggie’s hand settles atop his on the armrest of the couch, almost weightless. “She’s happy with you, otherwise she wouldn’t have stayed this long. I may not know much about my daughter these days, but I do know that.”

“I’m happier with her than I have ever been,” he admits. “And now—” he looks down at Madeline. “I didn’t know this much happiness existed.”

Maggie smiles, a little sadly. He’s used to people looking at him like that, the poor kid with the tragic backstory. He just wishes she wouldn’t. 

The room falls silent again. A funny look comes over her face, and he gets the sense that she's holding something back.

“And, where will you live?” she asks, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

“We’re going to be looking for a house,” he answers, “but for now I’ve been sleeping in… Dana’s spare bedroom.”

Maggie purses her lips. “No nursery?”

“Not yet,” he says, shaking his head. “We figure she’ll sleep just fine in a bassinet for the first few months.”

“And that will be in Dana’s room?”

“I suppose so.”

“So, will you be helping when she wakes up needing to be fed or changed in the middle of the night?”

What is this, some high-stakes interview for a job? He really hadn’t been prepared for this.

“Of– of course I will,” he answers, perplexed by the fact that she even has to ask. Of course he’ll help take care of the baby, he and Scully are in this together, as they are with everything.

Maggie hums. You could almost hear a pin drop.

“Seems like it would just be easier if you were both in the same room to begin with,” she states, shrugging her shoulders like what she’d said was no big deal. She sips nonchalantly from a styrofoam cup of coffee and doesn’t look at him.

Now, Mulder doesn’t want her to get the wrong idea... “Mrs. Scully—” he starts.

“It’s Maggie, Fox,” she says kindly but firmly, interrupting him. “You’re my son-in-law now, I think you can call me by my first name.”

He sighs, and feels the baby let out a sigh against his chest. You and me both, kid. 

“Maggie…” he corrects. “Look, Scully—Dana—is my best friend. And we’ve agreed to be parents and raise Madeline together, but we’re not—”

“Fox,” she interrupts again. “It’s very sweet that you’ve taken on this role as Madeline’s father, but what about Dana? Doesn’t she deserve a real marriage, with a husband who does more than care for her as the co-parent of their child? Don’t you deserve more?”

The very idea that Scully might not be enough for him offends him deeply, and he’s quick to tell her so. “I couldn’t possibly ask for more than your daughter,” he says. “She’s– she’s all I need. Her and Madeline. As for Dana…”

“She needs you, too.”

“No, but–”

“Don’t take what I’m saying the wrong way,” Maggie says seriously, leaning toward him. “Dana deserves a real husband, who loves and cares for her in all the ways a husband should.” 

She levels a stare at Mulder, and he waits for the other shoe to drop. 

“I’m not saying that shouldn’t be you.”

What?

It’s not like he hasn’t thought of this before—he has—but to be talking about it with her mother? Twenty years from now, if Madeline were to have a friend like Mulder, he’d tell her to run away as fast as she possibly could. But—that isn’t what Margaret is saying, is it?

In fact… it seems like she’s saying the exact opposite.

“You care for her, don’t you?” she asks.

“I do, but—”

“You love her?”

Mulder’s jaw hangs open, his automatic reply dying on his lips. His heart pounds in his chest, and he spares a quick thought toward Maddie and hopes it won’t disturb her somehow. He wants to answer her, but he doesn’t know how. His throat closes up almost completely as tears pool in his eyes, and he doesn’t trust his voice to come out right if he tried. 

He glances down at Maddie, this precious little life he and Scully have vowed to take care of.

“It doesn’t matter if I do,” he says quietly. “She doesn’t… feel the same way.” 

He can’t look at Margaret right now. He’s afraid of what he would see if he did. 

“She deserves better than what I can give her,” he finishes, taking comfort in the warmth of his daughter burrowed into his chest.

Maggie is quiet for a moment. Then, she says, “It looks, to me, like you’ve given her quite a lot.”

True or not, there’s still the matter of everything else his presence in her life has done for her. To her.

“It doesn’t compare to how much has been taken...” he says.

“Which you are not responsible for.” Maggie’s stare is unrelenting, he has no choice but to take every word she speaks to heart. “Ask yourself who else in Dana’s life would have been able to make this possible for her. Who else would make such a life-changing decision, just to make her dream come true?”

“Any guy would have to be stupid not to,” Mulder states the obvious.

“You sell yourself too short, Fox,” Maggie says, shaking her head in either annoyance or disappointment. He doesn’t like either of those directed at him—not from Margaret Scully. “There’s no one she trusts more than you,” she says emphatically. “She wouldn’t have done this with anyone else by her side.”

Maggie sits back, apparently finished dressing him down. The baby squirms and then settles in her sleep, still exhausted from the eventful day she’s had. He can’t help but think about what Maggie had said—that Scully would only ever do this with him, no one else. He wants to push back, to say that isn’t true, but he knows in his heart that it is. 

The question is: what does that mean for him? What does it mean for them?

Maggie gives a tiny smile, watching as he absentmindedly rubs tiny circles on Maddie’s back, lost in thought.

“Dana has told me some of the more unbelievable things you believe in, Fox…” she says quietly. “Aliens, ghosts, monsters… Given that, I would think it would be easier.”

“That what would be easier?” Mulder asks, the drone of his murmur matching the tone she had set.

Maggie smiles at him fondly, her knowing eyes meeting his. 

“For you to believe she loves you.”

~~~

Lovely tag list ♡: [if you would like to be added or removed, let me know!]

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @calimanc @captainsolocide @clo-thespin @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @gillian-anderson-in-the-tardis @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @msrafterdark @numinousmysteries @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear

[psywebcomic]

wait i might need to re-read a lil but can psy tell that jett ash blood shadow is/is part of a system? if psy met other systems could they maybe tell because of the difference in their “voice” ?

short answer: yes Psy can tell the difference in system member's voices and can tell that JABS is a system, and they have definitely come across other people with multiple voices in their head over the course of their life. but they don't comment on it at all in the narration, really.

long answer because i love talking:

in universe explanation: Psy simply doesn't care, and doesn't find it a necessary thing to comment on. thats just the way Jett is. it's interesting, but frankly it's something Jett keeps a secret from most of the people in its life so Psy would feel weird about going into it in the narration any more than absolutely necessary (like explaining its phantom limbs)

the real explanation: hearing multiple voices in your head doesn't definitively necessarily mean you're a system and we wanted to keep it kind of ambiguous to let the readers interpret that however they wanted. like, admittedly, yes. JABS is a system, heavily based on my (Cat's) system and that's technically the intention when writing him. but i wouldn't be offended (and would actually find it really cool and interesting) if other people interpreted it differently to, say, see it as him having THEIR mental illness which makes them hear multiple different voices in their head like that and/or experience delusions and whatnot.

some behind the scenes talk below the cut because you've activated my trap card of letting me talk about our comic

jett being a system was actually a pretty late decision in the writing process! as we draw the chapters i am also rewriting a lot of jett's thoughts to reflect being a system! changing some of the "i"s to "we"s and such, adding more distinct voices and conversations within its thoughts... stuff like that!

originally, it was more in line with kaido from saiki k where he sort of just writes fantasy stories and pretends theyre real? and like, kind of has delusions about them? but i have also seen interpretations of kaido being a system which i think rules. so basically, we're doing that but on purpose. a lot of Psy is us taking our fun headcanons from saiki k and doing them on purpose haha! like all the queerness for example, as well as Jett's physical disabilities

also, i at one point had the idea in my head of Psy having a habit of armchair diagnosing people all the time based on their thoughts, but quickly discarded that. it would have been in a 100% non judgemental way, sort of just "sounds like he has DID or something" and stuff. like. just cause they think it's interesting and kinda fun to psychoanalyze people since they can literally hear all their thoughts lol. i think that idea had the potential to be funny, but ultimately i was worried about it getting.... messy, and a bit iffy to write ethically, so now i'm kind of leaning the opposite way where they actively try not to psychoanalyze. tbh they probably still do this, they just dont say it in the narration. Psy knows they have people watching them. they wanna look good.

[causenessus]

HELLOOO GOOD AFTERNOON!! how are you doing <3 i already told u ab what happened at my school today but MORE HAPPENED. i was walking out to my friend's car since it was the end of the day and we were gonna drive back to our apt BUT BRO???? ness idefk what happened but a car bumped into me im not even joking 💔 like bumped me from behind and made me fall over. like how does that even happen omf 💔 not demure, nor mindful. BUT IM PERFECTLY FINE DONT WORRY!! i just scraped up my palms and my arms a liiiittle bit 🙂‍↕️ so i hate parking lots that was not cute at all

I SAW YOU AND MANGO ANON TALKING ABOUT ZODIACS A LITTLE BIT ONE TIME WHEN U ANSWERED THEIR ASK AND WAS LIKE OH!! NOW IM CURIOUS!! like im really not big on astrology i only know that im an aquarius thats all ive got! but i was searching up like what certain signs' relationships look like? i guess? or like compatibility? one of my friends are a cancer AND I KEPT SEEING THAT THEYRE THE LEAST COMPATIBLE W AQUARIUSES? (is that the right plural of it? aquarians? idk whatever) so like i had a revelation and i remembered you were a cancer so i was lowkey disappointed with all of the zodiac compatibility stuff i was seeing online 😞 ALSO I SAW THAT MANGO ANON GOT A BURNER!! (i mean like i saw through your post i didnt find their blog LMAOAOA) is this the end of an era?? if it is im gonna miss seeing their asks and your responses on my dash aaaaadbsjk they are so cute!!

ANYWAY lately ive been really pondering (i feel like this word is funny to me) what an ideal friend looks like to me because someone at school asked me that😭 i feel like the first people that came to mind were you and mango anon!!! i keep mentioning them SORRY i just adore how sweet they are omf 💔 why am i telling you this? idk! but i feel like in terms of friendships i seek out people like you!! i cant really describe the traits SPECIFICALLY but i feel like you're a super good friend ‼️ i was also curious what an ideal friend looks like to you though! cause i feel like people always look for specific traits or have traits that theyre naturally gravitated towards and they're always super different from person to person, yk? KINDA RANDOM THO LMAO

ALSO today in my speech n debate class my friend started drawing on my hand as we listened to people's oo's from the national oratorical (is that even what it's called i have no idea) and like... i totally zoned out.. so now im behind in that class JUST A LITTLE!! listening to peoples speeches can be so boring i have serious regrets regarding choosing that class honestly 😞 but i feel like it's also one of the more fun classes you can take to fulfill the speech credits for graduation so i GUESS im staying... some of the people in that class are super cool!! getting peer pressured into joining the competitive team sigh

THATS ALL IVE GOT TODAY!! I FEEL LIKE THIS ONE WAS KINDA LONG OOPS. how are you doing ness!! i hope you're getting enough rest! make sure you're drinking enough water and eating! AND DONT FORGET YOUR MEDS ‼️ I LOVE YOU

HELLO SAV!! i??? i??? i can't? A CAR BUMPED INTO YOU??? LITERALLY DID THEY LIKE APOLOGIZE??? MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY??? ANYTHING AT ALL???? THAT IS SO HORRIBLE 😭 I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OKAY BUT OMG THAT'S LITERALLY AN INJURY?? LIKE????????????????????????

AND AWH DW 😭 tbh i don't think i know many aquariuses (idk the plural version either!!) BUT THE STARS HAVE NOTHING ON US </3 AND YES!! MANGO ANON GOT A BURNER BUT I THINK WE'LL STILL BE YAPPING THROUGH ASKS A LOT <3 IT'S JUST FOR US TO BE LIKE "i miss u </3" and tell each other short things in the meantime 😭

AND AW THAT'S SO SWEET AND KIND THANK YOU SO MUCH :((( PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE AT ALL FOR BRINGING US/MANGO ANON UP!! you're not doing it a lot or anything so don't worry at all <33 idk who my ideal kind of friend is!! like everyone is so unique and i think i get along with most people <3 i just really appreciate people who are like very understanding and kind!! like obviously i'm very?? like soft hearted?? or like gentle. like for example i don't like to curse outside my fics bc for me i always associated it with being mad?? or just kind of scary?? like ofc i really don't care if other people curse!! it's just a personal preference/choice and so i think i just appreciate people who are observant and kind!! idk everyone super cool :D and i've learned a lot from people who are different from me so i like most people!! (just not middle school freshmen boys who are super rude and annoying and loud yk 🌝)

SPEECH AND DEBATE SOUNDS HORRIBLE 😭 I'M SORRY BUT I COULD NEVER I'M SO LUCKY MY SCHOOL DIDN'T HAVE A SPEECH REQUIREMENT OR ANYTHING BC I WOULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED </33 and i've always been like a very "idc!! u have ur opinion and i have mine i'm not gonna try and convince u to have my opinion!! like seriously idc pls i don't want to argue or debate!!" so i really just could not survive that class at all but best of luck to you!!

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU SAV!! i am doing ok!!! it's nice bc idk my manager didn't really schedule me this entire week 😭 BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING!! I AM LIVING MY BEST LIFE WITH ALL THIS FREETIME LIKE I ACTUALLY AM REALLY ENJOYING IT so that's been nice!! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH <33 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO!! I HOPE YOU TOOK YOUR MEDS!!

[yuukei-yikes]

any thoughts on remind blue?

currently, it is my favorite kagepro song (this changes like every week but i digress...) and i really want to make a pv for it but i lowkey have no idea where to start

your analysis/ramblings on things is really interesting to read and see, so also just wanted to let you know that i love all the content you post!! :D

I LOV remind blue. like every kagepro song makes me want to rip my face off ♥️♥️♥️ but this one is one of those that make me feel so strongly that i cant listen to it ♥️♥️♥️ cuz i do that btw. i cannot listen to kagepro songs without preparing myself emotionally and it has to be when i am alone in my room. i could never listen to them in public. that'd be weird. im drawing and suddenly a kagepro song comes on in my playlist and im like this is so fucked up who put this here (<- i did)

songs like summertime record, lost day hour, remind blue and ayanos theory of happiness specifically i basically never listen to because it causes something in me both mentally and physically. im normal though.

TOTALLY support the idea to make a pv!!! i wouldn't know how to start either tbh💔 who would u make it be sung by?? like the song is so good but for the lyrics im like meh like str is already a thing. idk it sorta has the same vibe. its like summertime record and lost day hour's lyrics had a little baby together. which is why i always liked to interpret it as a haruka song but fuck it ig its shintaro's.

i also liked the idea of it being seto's or hibiya's. i think they'd deserve a song like this, especially hibiya!! tho for hibiya the whole "adult" thing is different LOL and even seto, he's just 17... ive always loved haruka being the punchbag for the "im an adult wtf" feeling because he goes from living his whole life thinking he will die and then he doesn't. or well he DOES die but then comes back, and suddenly he finds himself with his whole life ahead. like haruka and his early 20s crisis abt i did NOT think id be alive this long and now i gotta deal with everything those feelings bring me but at the same time i have to pay rent and worry abt what to make for dinner soooo erm fine ig. that's also what i think lost day hour is about, i know jin describes it more like a song abt old friends but girl idk it rly only has a couple lines abt that as opposed to all the rest of the song... erm. what was i talking about again.

i just think it was rly funny how we were all like ok remind blue uses "boku" so it's seto kano hibiya or haruka (or konoha). and then jin was like hehe. shintaro♥️ SHINTARO DOESNT EVEN USE BOKU whatever im pretty sure he also said it can fit anyone and its more a general mekakushi dan song. but tbh so is summertime record sooooo. sorry im sidetracking a lot

i dont particularly care for remind blue so much (LIKE THE SONG SLAPS im still talking about lyrics) bc it's very heavy on the shit abt like growing distant and stuff sortof??? like kagepros ending/str is implied to have the mekadan not grow apart but kinda do their own thing while still meeting to hang out, bc kagepro is also about growing up and with growing up comes maybe growing distant from these friends you love, but they will always be important and one of a kind in ur life and when u meet its like time hasnt rly passed between you. not to mention the whole thing about combining eyes and how all the snakes will always end up gathering by the queen no matter what, meaning the dan will always be bound to make their ways back to each other no matter what, and are connected to one another by the literal narrative that theyre all actually sort of aware of a little bit (they always refer to their tragedy as a "story"..kagepro is a little meta lol). and like that's all so beautiful but also fuck it. they all meet for pizza nights every week. erm. the passage of time am i right

ALSO TY FOR READING MY POSTS:///3 I LOVE KAGEROU PROJECT A NORMAL AMOUNT AND IM A NORMAL PERSON

[pinky-the-bunny]

My reading of insomnia by @wily-art

SPOILER WARNING!!!!!

Pgs 1 & 2: Already at the first page and I already like how they did sans here. Also, gaster looks very cool.

Pgs 3 & 4: OOOOHHHH, sans almost recognised gaster there. Clever.

Pgs 5-7 : OH SHIT!!!

Pgs 8&9: Oh fuck, I just realized his soul and powers are red now!

pgs 10 - 12: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? THEY JUST CYNED HIM! (Also that exchanged with papyrus was funny)

Pgs 13 & 14: Poor papyrus, he was just concern- HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?!?

Pgs 15-17: sans remembers resets in this one...I like that fanon idea on him, so this story is right up my alley. (it already is, i'm so invested.)

Pgs. 18-20: THEIR IN THE SURFACE!!!!

Pgs. 21-24: I love papy in this! Also, I find it interesting how he said not red or blue...which makes the art of his soul being blue sort of tie in with the red would from before.

Pgs 25 - 29: Yeah...sans is going through it.

Pgs 30 - 34: okay, so the souls colors are at least connected to chara, right?

Pgs 35 & 36: OH SHIT, HERE WE GO!

Pgs 37 - 38: WOAH!!! I GENUINELY GOT CHILLS THERE!

Pgs. 39 - 41: wow, okay, so that was a lot to take in. So from what I'm getting is that gaster and sans used to work together to make a human-like soul replacement to break the barrier. And the soul traits are like the 7 fallen humans soul names. I wonder what happened with that...

Pgs 42 & 43: I wonder if present sans can feel past sanses emotions at the same time? Cause every time Past sans seems to be stressed his dialogue box turns blue and present sanses soul turns bluer. Plus, when chara is near him, his soul gets redder.

Pgs 44 - 48: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?!?

Pgs 40 - 52: He teleported??? Is he still dreaming??? Was this a dream at all???

Pgs 53 - 56: that guy was so sweet, I gave him a surfer voice cause I saw him like that, Lol.

Pgs 57 - 60: And yet he's still throwing away his problems like always...

Pgs 61 - 65: damn, that escalated quickly.

Pgs 66 - 68: oh please don't tell me he's gonna hurt papyrus at some point...

Pgs 69 - 72: poor frisk doesn't know what their favorite skeleton is going through.

pgs 73 - 75: So...is the chara from the "dream" A different chara? Also, I love how they draw chara. Its different.

Pgs 76 - 79: he's bleeding more, I'm worried.

Pgs 80 & 81: Alphys has a team now? Awsome! I can only imagine what having her as a boss is like.

Pgs 82 - 85: man, alphys is so underrated. She is just as important as all the other characters and I am happy how she is portrayed in this.

Pgs 86 - 89: She has a cat phone! Cute!

Pgs 90 - 96: oh, either he's pissed or he's doing something

Pgs 97 - 99: Awww, he wants to help!

Pgs 100 -103: I really like this. A lot of people seem to think that being naive equals stupid, so I really like how they made papyrus find out quickly that sans was lying to him and is trying to help him through whatever problem he has.

Pgs 104 - 108: Its okay, sans. I don't like tea either.

Pgs 109 - 113: Oooh, that hit hard...

Pgs 114 - 118: Oh god, sans is having anxiety.

Pgs 119 - 121: AAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Pgs 122 - 125: Papyrus giving us a therapy session right now.

Pgs 126 - 128: Oh thank god, I really thought he was gonna...

Pgs 129 - 135: PAPYRUS'S GASTER BLASTER REVEAL!!!

Pgs 136 - 140: Oh, that's cool as fuck!

Pgs 141 - 144: He would survive in a horror move for sure.

Pgs 145 - 149: THAT'S FROM THE TRAILER!

Pgs 150 - 154: he kinda...

Pgs 155 - 156: Look at how past sans waters those plants! Very demure, very mindful!

Pgs 157 - 162: Damn, past sans is really nailing the whole "you're trying to forget your fuck up, huh? Too bad."

Pgs 163 - 166: He old as fuck.

Pgs 167 - 170: Oh shit, here we go...

Pgs 171 - 172: He so cocky, I love him!

Pgs 173 - 174: Well, I'm still gonna call ya past sans honey.

Pgs 175 - 178: Past sans is such a bully.

Pgs 179 - 181: That dog is obviously named cupcake.

Pgs 182 - 184: Aaaaand there it is...

Pgs 185 - 187: Of course there be complications.

Pgs 188 & 189: Yep! He has the fucking traits.

Pgs 190 - 192: Oh shit, chara's here.

Pgs 193 & 194: Yay! No more supressing! We love character development!

Pgs 195 - 197: The void!?

Pgs 198 & 199: Are we back?

Pgs 200 & 203: Back to the other chara.

Pgs 204 - 207: ASRIEL!!!!

Pgs 208 - 211: OH?

Pgs 212 - 214: Frisk...no...

Pgs 215 - 218: Scary...

Pgs 219 - 221: THATS FUCKING COOL! also frisk has no eyes???

Pgs 222 - 226: What the fuck is he gonna do...?

Pgs 227 - 229: Poor asriel...

230 - 231: what the fuck...

232 - 236: PFFT-!

Pgs 237 - 240: OH FUCK!

Pgs 241 - 244: had a feeling he would know they ate buttercups.

Pgs 245 - 248: *Starts eating popcorn intensely*

Pgs 249 - 250: this is so intense.

Pgs 251 - 255: Aw, frisk!

Pgs 256 - 259: These pages keep getting better and better! Omg!

Pgs 260 - 263: oh....

Pgs 264: This goes hard.

Pgs 265 & 266: Oh god what would happen if they do? I don't it would be what they'd expect.

Pgs 267 - 270: and papyrus has to FIGHT this guy?

Pgs 271 & 272: OH MY GOD, ITS THE TITLE OF THE SERIES!

Pgs 273 - 275: JESUS CHRIST!

Pgs 276 - 279: Wait, is that an actual thing?

Pgs 280 - 282: Is he gonna tell him!?

Pgs 283 - 286: Does one of the mugs have muscles???

Pgs 287 - 291: I don't get that one but funny Haha papy got mad at pun.

And that's it! I can't wait to see the episodes but that's about it from the comic itself. I hope I gave you all a good laugh and please give the comic a read!

[anvoo]

Hey, up so late? What you up to?

I was a bit restless, so I figured writing my thoughts down would help.

Sounds good. Go for it.

I wrote the part below on my phone (small text):

I'm thinking about Cat a bit rn. About how it'll be later on the 7th of July - our anniversary.

I guess I'm worried and catastrophizing a bit. I'm worried that she won't want me and the break anymore.

I sometimes worry or feel like it's a race against time, that I need to be better faster so that she wouldn't leave me. The thought of that just makes my chest tightens up.

And what if one of you just decides that you don't want the break anymore?

Well, I guess I'm single again if that happens. I'll still be on my path, or I'll kill myself (dramatization). For the latter, I'll be gone, so everything would just be meaningless then.

So, if I'll still continue down my path, I think I'll do just fine. I'm an interesting and funny guy, I'm doing my best to secure a stable career and future, and I'm working on myself. I'll probably find someone I'm interested in, and who's interested in me, and it'll be the start of something new then.

If we continue with our break, it'll be the same thing; the only difference is that Cat will kinda have special privileges in the auction for me :p

Both paths look pretty much identical, only with a slight difference later down the line.

So why am I so distraught over the idea? I think it's because I associate Cat's want "to be with me" as a measure of my self-worth and value, so not having that meant that the feelings I have towards myself would come crashing down. It's like a dam that's holding back my insecurities and negative feelings.

I have so much to say, to write, to think about, but my energy level in this moment isn't the highest, so I'll leave some for later.

It does make me sad to realize that at the roots of many of my sufferings lie the same issues and causes still.

No one said it would be easy or quick. These are deeply rooted things, and change takes a tremendous effort. It doesn't come at just a flick of the wrist.

Yeah, I understand. It takes time. I guess I'm somewhat happy that I'm able to slowly see the beauty in the process and my progress, that I'm doing bits and pieces better and better.

And that's how it's meant to be. Appreciate the progress that you've made and are making.

I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now, to be honest. In terms of progress and goals, I know where I want to head towards. It's concrete and straightforward. But about me and Cat, what do I want? I'll allow myself to indulge in these thoughts a bit.

I would say I do love and care for her. I do want to be with her, and I can imagine a future of us spending our lives together. I like her humor and how well we get along. I like that she's honest and straightforward with her emotions and feelings. I like that we can spend time together. I like her passion for cooking and food. I like that she is a good listener and that it fits well with me, someone who talks a lot (I really appreciate this). I like how open and vulnerable we can be with each other. I like how she makes me feel like I could talk to her about anything and everything. I admire her tenacity and determination. I like how much I trust her - it's proof of her actions throughout the time we've known each other. I like her voice. I like being close to her. I like that she likes my drawings. I like that she loves and cares for me. I think it's funny how some really crazy and weird coincidences have happened between us.

I think that I do want to be with her.

It's good that you can say that.

But I also understand and remember why we're on our break right now. It's a difficult period right now for us personally, and our capacity for things isn't high. Sometimes I wonder, can we be together in the moment still, while working on the things we want to work on? I think right now, at least for me, it would be difficult. I need my capacity to focus on building and keeping good routines and habits, to further my progress with my studies, my physical health, socializing, my hobbies, mental health,... Because of how my brain works and the "issues" that I talked about before, actively maintaining a romantic relationship right now would take too much out of me, and I wouldn't be able to progress with the goals above. My studies are incredibly important, and dictate my future, so that isn't something I can leave on the backburner. I have not yet convinced myself that I am capable of balancing my life out like that, so getting back together right now (08.06) with Cat isn't a decision that I believe in. Cat also has her own circumstances, so we're kind of in the same boat, one way or another.

A lot of my internal thoughts and feelings of self-esteem and self-worth reflect outwards. It's a case of "if I think I'm this, then others must also think I'm that". The same goes with the subject of me and Cat's romantic relationship and break. If I don't love or believe in myself, I tend to excessively worry that Cat won't love or believe in me either. To wrap up a bit my thoughts about Cat, I'll ask myself this question: "Do I think it's a good idea for me and Cat to end our break and reconnect right now?" - No, not yet. I would like more time. I know that she loves and cares for me and that she values and is really serious about us and our break, so we'll communicate throughout about how we're doing and our feelings and such. No need to worry or catastrophize, it's just stupid cavemen brain working against me. Unless something's changed, then that just means that our plan's still in motion, and we're just on our way :)

So what now?

Well, I have a few options.

To kill myself now, to spare further suffering. I would rather not do this.

To just not do anything and let things happen. I can more or less tell where this will lead me, and it's not somewhere I want to go. I'll rather go with option 1.

To continue with my goals and progress. I think this is the choice I want to go with. I think I'll be able to feel better and more confident in myself if I go along with this option. Confidence in self will allow me to do a lot of things: to feel better in my own skin, to have fulfilling hobbies and interests, to be secure in my professional life, to live with myself better (in my head), and to enjoy people's company.

[cupcakeslushie]

You seem to draw Donnie covered in Spray paint (pink and blue) a lot. Why is that? What got him hooked to it and why doesnt he have to mix the colors himself?

(BIG fan of the angsty separated au!!!!)

Draxum’s lab is pretty dull color wise, and Three wanted to differentiate his tech from Draxum’s. Huginn and Muninn are the ones who buy Three his spray paints! One of those small, nice things they try to do to make the kid a little bit happy. Purple is Three’s favorite color, but sometimes they’re limited in what they can bring him. (Also the pink and blue colors are a nod to Jinx—It’s kinda funny that her colors, pink and blue, when mixed, make purple)

It would be maximum shock if they all met right when Leo and Donnie rejoined the family, before they kinda started their healing process, cause they’re probably the most different at that point.

Rise!Donnie would be appalled at AU!Donnie, from silly things like the way he accumulates layers of grime without a care—to the rude way he treats April. AU!Leo and Rise!Leo would keep a wide birth from each other and probably stick to a buddy system with their respective brothers just in the hopes that they don’t ever get left alone with the other (their bros of course conspire to do exactly that, so they can get to know each other)

Rise!Raph would probably be really worried about AU!Raph just cause he thought his brother’s make him stressed and tired? But between dealing with Leo’s anger issues, and Donnie’s…everything, AU!Raph looks ready to drop any second. AU!Mikey would love Rise!Mikey, cause he’s adorable, but he’s a little sad when he looks at him, cause he acts just like he used to, before he was thrown into the arena, so he tries to tone down the bad and make it sound more exciting so that Rise!Mikey doesn’t know how horrible AU!Mikey had it.

The Kraang would def be the Rise Kraang version. The movie would take place a little while after the defeat the Shredder. I’m still working out the timeline cause when I was first deciding their ages, I forgot about the two years from the end of the series and the start of the movie 🙄. So I’m doing some reworking on that end. I think I’ll either change them to be a few years older at the start of the AU than I made them, OR the AU and the fight with Shredder will go for a longer stretch of time than it did in the series. That way there’s not a huge two year gap of unknown time between Shredder’s defeat to the start of the movie. EDIT Now that we know the series took place over two years and it was only a couple months between the finale and the movie. Their ages are gonna be the ones listed on their character charts!!

I’m still not even sure if I’ll manage to make it that far, but hopefully we will get there eventually! Cause I really wanna get to Casey. In fact, I’d probably make it less about Leo growing into a more serious role (cause obviously he’s already there), and more about him really accepting the love of his family. We might even see a future Leo come back with Casey?? It would be so hard not to go that route cause I love that idea so much 🤣

But I honestly don’t know yet what I’d really like to do. And I’d hate to give an answer that I’d have to redact later. I’ve got a lot of ideas, but I can’t even think about them, until I put out all the other stuff I’ve got planned. So let’s all cross our fingers and hope we get there some day lol!

2012!Leo would go MOM MODE™️ EXTREME, 2012!Raph and Don would take off like a rocket with the intention of hunting down and murdering Draxum, Shredder and Big Mama, and Mikey would probably be caught between holding back tears and doing his best to tell jokes and ease the tension, or following after his brothers in their murder spree.

Basically as much as the 2012 boys would be thrown off at first over how different the AU boys are from the other versions of themselves they’ve met, they’d go HARD as the protective older bros. But the only one who’d probably actually appreciate it would be AU!Raph cause he never gets to be the little brother lol.

@smoldevelopingcookie @c00k13san2 @luvrbug @organisedchaosstuff @uniqueness351217

Separated AU tag

[vannybarber]

The Prenup

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part Two Part Three Part Four Final Chapter

Scrounging through the little desk in the corner of Chris and you's bedroom, you hear him let out a boisterous laugh.

He was watching some movie and there was a certain part that he found so hilarious. After 4 years of watching it with him constantly, you still don't get what's so funny. But it makes him happy so that's what matters.

You were searching for the wine opener so Scott could get his middle-aged-4-kids-divorcee vibe on. You cleaned the other day and stuck it in there after a nightly dose of freakydeaky from Chris, which consisted of wine, whipped cream, and a many different forms of chocolate.

After what seemed like forever, you find the corkscrew and grin at your accomplishment. You take one more look in the drawer out of habit and you spot a big orange envelope with Chris' name on it. Being the nosy curious person you are, you take the envelope out and get a good look at it. You see the words Prenuptial Agreement in bold and your heart drops.

Chris had proposed to you 9 months ago and you were happy beyond words. After being together for 4 years, he finally put away his commitment troubles and made you his fianceé. And now you find out he's going to get you to sign a prenup. A fucking prenup.

You look around the room at loss for words. You were angry, hurt and confused. After 4 years of being together, he doesn't have faith in his own judgment that you guys would be together forever? You both have been through literally everything. There isn't one thing you don't know about each other. Your relationship was rare and it was special.

After moments of contemplation, you decide you would confront him on it. There's no way you could carry on the night and sleep after this. Not until you get your answers. Closing the drawer, you take a sharp breath and exhale before walking out the room. You get back to the dining table where Lisa and his siblings surrounded.

"Here you go Scott" you say slamming the corkscrew on the table in front of him. He looks up at you, puzzled. You glance at him then at Chris and he's looking at you just the same. Evidently your tone matched your movements because everyone went silent. You draw back and put both hands behind your back and huff.

"Babe, are you alright?" It was Christopher talking to you now. Your attention goes to him and your lips are in a thin line. Refraining from blowing up at him, you force smile on your face and change your tone of voice.

"What do you mean, honey? I'm fine." You should leave the acting to Chris honestly. That's definitely not your field of expertise. Shifting on your right foot, you stare at him. He shuffles and tilts his head with a knowing look.

"Spill it Y/N. What's up?"

"The flames when I burn this damn house down." So much for not blowing up. You snatch the envelope in front of you and chuck it on the table. Everyone watches the exchange and the envelope fly to the table. All their faces change from confusion to shock and even more confusion.

Chris didn't even need to look down to know it was the prenup. His eyes went from you to the wall. Guilt written all over it, you almost wish you gave a shit. You wonder how long he was going to keep this hidden from you. No need to wonder now.

"You want to explain to me why you have a prenup?" You place your hand on your hip and roll your neck at him.

"I got that for us."

You swear to everything you wanted to lunge at him right then and there. 'I got that for us'. Why do people always use that excuse for everything? They weren't thinking about you, just themselves and expected you to go along with it.

"You got it for us? I know you didn't do this on your own. Who put you up to it?" You look around the room. Scott has his hands up shaking his head. Carly and Shanna both let out a quiet "not me". You look at Lisa who had this look of hurt.

"Chris, you tell me everything. How did I not know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" Well now you know she didn't suggest it. You feel slightly guilty for letting it cross your mind, but you had your reasons.

"Ma, I had my reasons. I kept it hidden because I didn't know how I felt about it myself" he says rubbing his face and fixing his hair under his cap. Still didn't answer your question.

"Christopher, who put you up to this? Tell me now!" You're getting fired up by the minute. You have an idea who it could be too.

"Megan. She thought that it would be smart to consider. Just to protect me."

"Megan." Your voice is laced with absolute venom. "You know Chris, she does a good job keeping you out of trouble and bullshit so you're not all over the tabloids, but sometimes, her ass is too much!"

Chris is never in the news for anything negative. He's always minding his business and moving quietly. Megan is a great publicist, but she can be pretty overbearing about his personal life. She gave you side eye for like the entire first year of you guys' relationship.

"Baby, she was just looking out for me. You know how it is, women getting with you for your money. Guys loose half of everything they have when getting divorces."

You can't even believe it.

"I am not 'women'. I'm your fianceé. We've been together 4 years, Chris! After all this time your material things come before me?" Tears are puddled at your eyes now and your voice is cracking. This catches his attention.

"I told you from the start Chris, that I never cared about your money! Never have and never will. I am used to not having much. I'm not money hungry or concerned for having top tier everything. I've learned to settle."

"Y/N, I didn't mea-" you slam your hand on the table, making everyone jump. Chris shuts his mouth.

"I'm. Not. Finished. I am not marrying your bank account. I'm not marrying your cars. I'm not marrying your house. I don't give a damn about any of that shit. And you literally are still concerned about all of that?" Your face is wet and your nose is runny. You wipe your nose and cross your arms.

"It's not even like that!" Now he's getting upset. For literally nothing. This is his fault. "It's just in case it doesn't work out, we don't need to deal with all the extra mess."

That completely shattered you. In case it doesn't work out. He actually has thoughts that your marriage couldn't work. What would even cause that? You guys don't even argue. You don't even remember the last time you did. You've learned to understand what each other needs and mastered that. What is he on about?

"You know what the sad part is? Us not working out crossed my mind in, like, the first year of our relationship. And I decided that if we did get married, and God forbid we divorced, I wouldn't take anything from you."

He looked at you like he just found out he wasn't the father of your baby.

"Yeah, Chris. That's your money. You made it, not me, so why would I ask for any of it from you? You gave me an amazing relationship and thats enough for me."

"Oh my goodness." Everyone directs their attention to Scott. "So you wouldn't want anything from the divorce?"

"Of course not! I came in this relationship for him. Plus a make my own money. I don't need anyone else's."

You had your own business. Many employees at different buildings in Boston. You didn't have much growing up and you were proud of yourself for not having to worry about financial issues. Chris liked that you had your own thing going and didn't have to adapt to his life and depend on him financially. And he still got a prenup.

Feeling like you were gonna cry again, you rub your temples and take deep breaths to prevent it. But you failed and started crying more. Chris got up and moved to stand in front of you.

"Baby, I'm sorry I upset you. I thought you would be okay with this. Like you said, you don't care about my money so what's wrong with the prenup?" His hands were on your sides, but not for long as you shook them off of you.

"What's wrong with it? What this is telling me is three things. You have doubt that our marriage won't work out, you think I might change my mind and ask for alimony, and that your money comes before me."

"I..." he struggles to form words. You take this chance to get out of there.

"I really don't want to be here right now." Chris looks up and grabs your arm.

"Babe, you don't need to go. Where the hell are you gonna go?" You turn and grab the envelope from the table. You open it and pull the papers out, shoving it in his face.

"I'll go to a hotel or something, but I'm not staying here if this is the shit you're trying to pull with me." You turn the paper to you and look in disgust. You scan over it and your eyes fall on the dotted line where you need to sign. Beside it is where he needed to sign his.

Well not anymore.

You read over his signature on the line. Chris Evans.

He signed the prenup already. Now he was just waiting for your signature. He really was leaving you zero choice.

"You signed it already??" Everyone at the table head snapped up. Shanna gasped and covered her mouth. Lisa mumbles an "oh no" under her breath.

"So you were just going to bring it to me and expect me to sign it with no fight, huh?"

Chris says nothing, but his face is red. You don't wait for a response and walk to your shoes and your bag. Already having everything in there, you slip your shoes on and walk back to Chris.

"Just a heads up, you brought this on yourself."

You whip around and walk to the fireplace. You chuck the papers and envelope in the blaze and turn back to him.

"You can forget about that damn prenup, cause I'm not signing it. As a matter a fact, you don't even have to worry about that because there won't be a chance of us divorcing." You force a smile and clasp your hands together. Lisa and Scott rise from the table panicking.

"Babe, no-"

"Forget the wedding, this engagement and all of it. You can take this fucking ring too." You pry the ring off your fingers and throw it at him. It hits his chest and falls at his feet.

"I'm not marrying you."

You turn on your heel, grab your purse and jacket, walking out the door, leaving the Evans' speechless.

Was this too dramatic? I have my own opinions on a prenup, but maybe it's not as big as it seems? Idk🥴.

masterlist

[heliads]

Secrets Kept

Based on this request: “thomas x reader and one of the other people are being rude and they slap her and they get all worked up and mad? (maybe the person is making fun of her because she got attacked by a griever (she’s a runner) and minho had to help, but minho also stands up for her)”

masterlist

You’ve been running in the Maze for maybe an hour, maybe more. It’s not long enough. It’s funny how every morning, you wake up and manage to convince yourself that being a Runner is easier than you think, that you’ll be able to keep moving endlessly and never have a problem with it. You seem to forget how hard your job is overnight, but you’re reminded of it every single morning. To be honest, you’re not sure what you expected when you signed up to be a Runner in the first place, but the constant exhaustion is just one of the side effects.

That being said, you wouldn’t trade this job for anything. A slight grin appears on your face as you look around you, tilting your head up to feel the breeze whipping around the corners of the Maze. Your mind is turning, thinking of ways to remember every hall and corridor that you cross. Beside you, your running partner turns to you, eyebrows raised over your apparent delight. This causes Minho’s attention to be focused solely on you, which is why he doesn’t notice your boyfriend, Thomas, appearing down a nearby corridor.

Your eyes widen imperceptibly. Thomas isn’t supposed to be here, not at all. You joined the ranks of the Runners a long time ago, way before Thomas even showed up here and wanted to risk his neck with the rest of you. That meant that he would be a part of a different pair of runners, one that wasn’t you and Minho, and that he would be assigned a completely different part of the Maze to run for today. Ever since the Gladers discovered that different sectors of the Maze opened at different times, they carefully divided each sector into runnable routes that were parceled out to the various pairs of Runners. Basically, all of this means that you shouldn’t once see Thomas during the entirety of your daily run, yet here he is now.

You think you know why he’s here, though. Your theory is proven when Thomas stumbles to a halt mid-step after realizing that Minho is seconds away from discovering you, and quickly stumbles behind a wall of the Maze for cover. When he peeks out again, he’s got a smirk on his face that tells you that the added danger of getting caught is only making him more willing to risk discovery.

Why is he here, then? Well, it’s probably because you’re dating Thomas, or at least you have in secret. Once you showed up to the Glade and became the first girl to add to their numbers, Alby set in motion a rule that none of the boys could even come near you. They could be friends all they wanted, but the second they looked at you with a desire for something more, they’d be thrown in the Slammer before they could say ‘I escaped the friend zone’. 

You’ve been perfectly fine with this rule. There are enough gaping boys in the Glade that make you more than alright that Alby gives any flirting slintheads a death glare. However, when Thomas showed up, you just couldn’t stick to the plan. He was kind to you, and it seemed like he was the first one to truly listen to you for a very long time. When you spoke about anything, when you even so much as sat next to him, Thomas would look at you with this soft smile that made you want to reach over and kiss him right then and there.

You’d been afraid to do something, at first. What if you misread something and suddenly it was you crossing his boundaries as opposed to any one of the Gladers with you? Then, one night at the Bonfire, Thomas had been walking you back to the Homestead when he’d turned to you with this look in your eyes, one that made you shiver slightly despite the heat of the dark hour. He’d asked if he could kiss you, voice low and rumbling in the shadows, and you’d barely been able to nod your head yes from the thrill of it.

Ever since then, you’ve been happy enough to consider him your boyfriend. The problem is that Thomas still technically isn’t supposed to be seeing you, and the only way you can kiss him is if the two of you sneak out to the Deadheads or find time when nobody is around to reach over and wrap your arms around him. These come with an unsurprising rarity, as the Glade is practically overrun with shanks with little to no concept of personal space and privacy, so you have to make do with what you have.

This means that on days like today, when Thomas had been held back from seeing you even into the late hours of the night, he’s willing to stretch some rules and come find you himself. So, you turn to a still unsuspecting Minho, and gesture for him to go forward without you. “Tell you what, I’m going to fix my shoe. I think there’s something in it.” Minho starts to say something about how he’ll wait for you, but you hurriedly wave his concerns away. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. You go ahead and I’ll catch up.”

Minho hesitates one last moment then shrugs, turning to keep running. You watch him go, afraid to make the slightest of motions towards the general area behind you where you spotted Thomas, lest your running partner suspect something and come back to you. Minho’s just disappeared around a corner when a pair of hands descend on your hips, spinning around to come face to face with Thomas, who’s wearing a particularly proud grin at the look of surprise on your face.

You reach forward to smack his arm. “Slinthead. I thought a Griever was sneaking up behind me.” Thomas just laughs. “I don’t think Grievers look this good.” You try to hold back a laugh of your own. “Good to know that your pride hasn’t been hurt by you bending the rules all the time. We could get caught, you know.” Thomas just lifts a shoulder in dismissal. “I’m dating the prettiest girl in the Glade. I’d say that’s worth going behind Alby’s back.”

You fight to keep heat from rising to your cheeks. “The prettiest girl in the Glade? Thomas, I’m the only girl in the Glade.” Thomas smirks. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true. Just accept the compliment, Y/N.” You open your mouth to protest, but you’re effectively silenced when Thomas leans forward to kiss you. Suddenly, all of your complaints are evaporating into the hot air of the Maze.

You allow yourself a few minutes of this before you reluctantly bid Thomas farewell. Despite being able to throw Minho off your tail for a little while, you can only ‘fix your shoe’ for so long before the boy starts to suspect something. When Thomas finally lets you go with a goodbye kiss and you jog down the labyrinthine corridors in search of your running partner, you do so with a smile. How’d you get this lucky?

You find Minho after a little while, who offers up a few joking criticisms about how long it takes you to tie your shoes. You bear these with a smile, knowing that your real reason for being late is something that far outweighs any of Minho’s sarcastic comments. The two of you run for a little longer before heading further into the center of the Maze. It is only there, once you’re as far away from the Glade as you could possibly be, that you realize that something is wrong. It feels as if you’re suddenly not alone, that you and Minho aren’t the only ones lurking in these corridors.

Seconds later, something heavy comes to an abrupt stop in front of you. You and Minho rear back in identical shock, staring at the Griever, the one that’s just jumped down from the walls of the Maze to land a few feet ahead of you. You gaze at it unthinkingly, unable to move a muscle despite all of your body screaming for you to run. “How is it here? I thought Grievers weren’t supposed to come out during the day!”

Minho gulps beside you. “They’re not, but this one’s here anyway. Run!” That’s all the incentive you need for your legs to start working again, and the two of you turn and sprint in unison. Your feet are pounding down the ground, your body focused on the sole goal of surviving. You thought you were tired before, but all of that exhaustion is gone now, replaced by an intense adrenaline rush that leaves you feeling as if you’ve got all the energy in the world.

You race around corners and down straightaways, your breath coming hard in your chest. Despite the fact that you’re running as fast as you can, you almost get the feeling that the Griever is toying with you, not going after you with as much force as it could truly muster. Indeed, once you’re almost to the final corridors separating you and the Glade, it seems to draw back, disappearing into the halls of the Maze once more.

You turn to Minho, gasping for breath after your abrupt sprint. “What was that about? Why did it stop?” Minho shrugs, hands on his knees for any kind of support. “I don’t know. Maybe it wanted to stop us from going too far. Maybe we were going to see something that it didn’t want us to see. All I know is that I’m pretty shucking happy that we’re still alive.” You manage to limp over to him, slapping him on the back. “You can say that again. Let’s go tell Alby that we’re the two unluckiest shanks in the Glade to stumble upon a Griever in the middle of the day.”

Alby is, unsurprisingly, stunned by this news. This contradicts everything you’ve thought of the Grievers and the Maze before today. No matter how strange your living situation in the Maze is, the rules have never changed- Grievers come out during the night, and the night only. No one has any idea what to think now that this has changed, and to be honest, no one really wants to think about what happened. In the end, Alby decides that there’s nothing you can do about it except tell everybody to be careful.

As a result of this, you see a lot of somber faces around the Glade that afternoon. Everyone’s clustered into tight groups, talking in hushed voices about obviously critical topics that no doubt revolve around your little Griever incident. When Thomas comes back from his run in the Maze, you see his face fall in an instant when he hears what happened. He starts to come your way, expression twisted with concern, but you shake your head once. Technically, you’re not supposed to know Thomas that well at all. Let Newt handle him- despite everything, you still can’t blow your cover and reveal to everyone that you’re dating.

Still, the anxious mood persists around the Gladers. Gally eventually gives in and asks Alby for a Bonfire Night, which the older boy approves. This is basically just an excuse to light things on fire and pass around Gally’s suspicious brew, but everyone’s so keyed up over what just happened that Alby decides everyone needs a night to have fun. Once the glasses of amber liquid start getting passed around, though, you begin to think that it might not have been such a good idea after all.

Once fear mixes with Gally’s concoction, people start getting louder, their friendly punches in the fighting ring less charming and more antagonistic. You decide to leave early, already tired of the signs pointing to the fact that this night will not be going well. However, you’re barely taken a few steps away from your seat before one of the more drunk Builders stops you in your tracks.

“Where are you going, Y/N? Running away again?” You raise an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” The Builder scoffs. “We all know what happened with the Griever. You saw it and ran away. Big bunch of nothing for someone who’s supposed to be one of the bravest Runners we’ve got.” You fold your arms over your chest incredulously. “Then feel free to take my job. I’m sure all of your experience stacking bricks will help you deal with a monster as tall as a house.”

The Builder’s smug smile drops. “Are you calling me a coward?” You snort. “I’m calling you weak. Get out of my way, I don’t want to deal with you tonight.” You move to walk past him, but the Builder just shifts to block your way again. “Like shuck. You don’t get to call me weak.” You stare back at him, feeling anger starting to rise up in your chest. “And you don’t get to call me a coward. You wouldn’t know bravery if it hit you over the head.”

This is probably a bad idea, you know that. This thought is proven correct when the Builder’s hand moves in a blur across your field of vision, and seconds later, your hand is coming away from your nose. There’s a streak of red across your fingers that tells you that he’s hit you hard, harder than he should have for what was supposed to be a friendly bonfire night.

Already, there are outraged shouts coming from around you, Gladers already starting to come to your defense. The loudest one, though, is from the boy who’s already by your side. Somehow, you’re not surprised that Thomas is already here. He probably would have punched the guy already, were it not for the fact that Minho and Newt both are holding him back. “Don’t you dare hit her. Don’t you dare.”

The Builder chuckles, although you can tell that he’s afraid. “What are you going to do? Hit me? We’ll just be together in the Slammer.” Thomas stops fighting against Minho and Newt, fixing the Builder with a death glare that makes the boy flinch. “You wish. Were it not for the fact that I actually give a damn about what’s supposed to happen around here, you’d be on the ground, trust me.”

The Builder raises an eyebrow, trying to add to his tough-guy demeanor in the hopes that it’ll cover up for the fact that he’s slowly trying to back away. “What do you care about what I do? This doesn’t concern you.” Thomas takes a step forward, and the Builder practically shrinks back. “Actually, it does. Y/N’s braver than you could ever dream of being. Do you know what it’s like to come face to face with a Griever? The fact that she’s not dead should tell you something about how tough she is. And yes, this does concern me, because she’s my girlfriend.”

Silence falls around the Bonfire at Thomas’ words. He glances over at you now, realizing what he’s said. “Surprise.” You laugh in spite of yourself. “Well, it was going to come out eventually.” You reach over, slinging your arm around his shoulder. “Come on, let’s let Alby deal with this slinthead. We’ve got better things to do.” Thomas allows himself a grin, moving away with you. “That we do.”

maze runner tag list: secret bestie @underc0vercryptid​, @ellobruv​

[fandom-puff]

Manhunt

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Requested by: anon ‘Hey, I saw that your requests are open. Can I request a Tommy Shelby fic where y/n gets kidnapped, please? Maybe Tommy’s getting extremely angry and worried and only calms down when he gets her back. Of course it’s up to you. Female reader if possible. Thank you so much :)’

Warnings: kidnapping, violence, swearing, injury (result of knife, beatings)

Bold italics = flashback

Gif creds to owner

“Where the fuck’ve you been?” Polly demanded from her desk, arms folded and lips pursed as Tommy stumbled through the door.

“Ah, let him be, Pol,” Arthur grinned, clapping him on the back. “Reckon his head’s still on his honeymoon. Been stuck in bed with the missus all morning, eh, brother?”

Tommy smirked boyishly. “No. Fuckin’ car broke down. Anyway, YN left ours hours ago, said she was seeing Ada before she buggers back off to London,”

At that moment, Ada walked through the door, holding one of John and Esme’s kids on her hip, bouncing him gently. “I haven’t seen YN today, Tom. Didn’t show up to our reservation in that nice cafe. Haven’t heard from her, so I just thought she was with you,”

Tommy frowned deeply. “But... she left at half eight to catch the bus. I told her I’d give her a lift but she said she needed to run a few errands before she met up with you,” he checked his pocket watch quickly. “It’s gone noon. Are you lot sure you haven’t heard from or seen her?”

“Tom, it’s fine, she’s probably just caught up in the shops or something,” John said, lighting a cigarette.

“No. It’s not fucking fine, Johnboy. She left at half eight this morning, stood Ada up in her favourite cafe- and she’s been going on about it for weeks- and no one has seen hide nor hair of her for hours. Something’s wrong,”

Jaw set harshly, Tommy strode out of the betting shop, closely followed by his brothers. “Oi! Finn. Run and tell Sergeant Moss that I said to have a search party out. Tell him YN’s missing. Then on your way back, go to Charlie’s yard and tell him to keep an eye on the canals for her, alright. Good lad,” Finn nodded and began to run as fast as his legs would carry him.

“What about us, Tommy?” Arthur said. “Tell us what to do,”

***

Slowly, your eyes opened, though you still couldn’t see anything- a length of fabric covered your eyes, blocking out all light. Every inch of your body ached, and you became vaguely aware of the stinging sensation at your wrists- they were bound behind your back, the tightly knitted rope rubbing your skin raw. Judging by the slight jostling movement of your body and the hum of an engine below you, you were in a vehicle, being driven god knows where.

Deciding to keep quiet, you took some deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself, trying your hardest to recall the previous hours...

***

“I’ll see you later, Tom,” you smiled, giving your grinning husband a final kiss goodbye before setting off to the bus stop. Tommy had offered you a lift, but you declined, saying something about errands and scenery. It was an alright day, by British standards, the sun trying its hardest to peak through the thin clouds.

You were halfway to the bus stop when you felt a presence behind you. Hurrying your steps a little more, knowing the old gentleman from the village would likely be at the stop for his weekly shop, if you could just get around this bend, you dared a look behind you, before colliding head on with something- or rather someone.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” you said, making to step around him, but his arms shot out, grasping onto you while the man behind you yanked a fistful of your hair, tugging your head backwards.

“Don’t you worry, Shelby,” he said, a slight accent lacing his low voice. “You will be,”

You tried to stamp your heels down on the attackers’ shins, you made to bite the hands closest to your face, to wriggle as much as you could. As you began to scream, a damp cloth was held over your nose and mouth, making your eyes roll back and your body slacken, allowing the two men to drag you to their vehicle, hidden by the shrubbery and blossoming trees and the loud caws of the birds.

***

Tommy was in full panic mode. He had Peaky Blinders scouring the whole of Birmingham, Sergeant Moss had managed to telephone the London police and have a telegram sent to every constabulary in the country to keep an eye out. Johnny Doggs had the Lee boys out, and Charlie was stopping every boat the passed through the cut.

Tommy kicked the table in the betting shop, sending papers and coins flying. “Where the fuck is she?” He roared, eyes flashing with some anger, but mostly fear.

“We’re doing everything we can, Thomas,” Polly said firmly, patting her nephews back and pushing a cup of tea into his hands. “It’s well sugared. You need the energy,”

“It’s not fucking enough!” He yelled, taking one sip of the tea before slamming the cup down, sloshing the table. “She could be anywhere and we’re sat here like idiots!”

Polly sighed, retreating to man the phone, waiting for someone, anyone to phone with knowledge of your whereabouts.

“It’ll be alright, brother,” John said. “Esme’s down with the Lees making sure none of them are sat twiddling their thumbs. Moss has every copper in Birmingham on the case. Even the London coppers are looking for a Shelby, and their almost all under Solomons and Sabini,”

Tommy was quiet for a moment before he looked between his brothers. “Solomons and Sabini...” he said slowly, processing the information before his face hardened.

“Solomons is a mad bastard,” Arthur said quietly.

“Right. Car, now. We’re going to London,”

***

The blind fold was removed, but you still couldn’t see much. One of your eyes was swollen shut, and the room you were in was plunged in almost complete darkness. Your hands were still tied, only now they (along with your ankles) were bound to a chair. You tried to shuffle the chair along, but it made a loud grating scraping noise, and caused a blinding pain to shoot through your nerves. Something was definitely broken.

“Shelby,”

The voices echoed around the room as you heard the men draw closer, their footsteps rapping sharply against the concrete ground. You strained your good eye, trying to make out their faces, but you could only make out vague face shapes, plunged in shadows.

“I told you, I don’t have any information!” You said urgently, preparing yourself for another punch or kick.

It didn’t come. Instead you felt the cold edge of a thin blade pressing against your swollen cheek. He dragged the blade slowly and you hissed as your cheek bloomed with stinging pain, feeling your hot blood trickle down your face and neck.

“We don’t want information,” the other man said lowly as you felt the tip of the knife press against your neck briefly. You held your breath, preparing for the worst, before the blade dropped. You let out a shaky breath of relief, which quickly turned into a groan of pain as a thick finger dragged along the fresh wound. “We don’t need one of Shelby’s whores for information,” you shut your eyes tightly, willing your tears not to fall. “We want to destroy Tommy Shelby,”

***

“Thomas! Thomas! Stop the fucking car now!”

The car squealed to a halt and Tommy almost tripped over his own feet in his haste. “This had better be good, Pol,” he growled, grabbing hold of the phone. “Speaking,”

“That you, Tommy?”

Tommy gritted his teeth. “Aye, Solomons. Make it quick. I’ve no time for business now,”

“Yeah, I know, right. Right fuckin’ fuss you’ve kicked up, yeah. Looking for that wife of yours, I heard. Well, Tommy, my coppers have been out and about , right, searchin’ high and fuckin’ low. Found nothin’ right,”

“Alfie,” tommy hissed. “I’m on my way down to London, now. If you’ve got no information, I don’t wanna hear any of your fuckin’ stories, alright?”

“Oi, you watch your tone, Tommy. I’m getting there. See now, Ollie’s missus’s got a friend whose friend is the wife of a fuckin’ wop, right. She says, right, that your wife, YN, had been on Sabini’s fuckin’ hit list from the very start. He’s got his coppers trying to dismiss this ever so mysterious disappearance, right. But my coppers, yeah, Tommy, you followin’?”

“I’m following,” tommy said through gritted teeth.

“Right, well my coppers have received a tip off from one of Sabini’s coppers that there’s some funny business going on in the old abandoned warehouse, you know the one, the one up in Cheltenham, what the anarchists set fire to,”

“You sure, Alfie?”

“Course I’m fuckin’ sure. Off you go, Tommy,”

***

How long you had been on the floor for, you had no idea. Your arms and legs were no longer bound- not that it made any difference. You couldn’t move without a fresh round of pain turning your stomach. Tears mixed with blood on your cheeks; you could barely keep your eyes open; you lay next to a pool of your own vomit due to the pain; your clothes were soaking with your own blood and urine; you were ready to die.

***

Gunshots. Three of them.

Three voices shouting, although you couldn’t distinguish what they were saying.

The door swung open, flooding the room with light. You made to lift your head up off the floor, but sobbed in agony.

“Fuckin’ hell!”

“YN, it’s alright, I’m here! They’re gone, I’ve got you,”

You felt the familiar warm hands on your body, the strong arms lifting you, the distinct smell. But you couldn’t open your eyes- you were simply too tired.

“Tommy...” you breathed, one hand bunched up in his coat.

“Shhh, I’m here, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. We’re gonna get you help, okay, my love. Don’t you worry one bit, okay?”

You nodded, trusting your eyes to shut, knowing that this time, tommy would be there to shake you awake, preventing you from giving into the darkness.

[river-of-wine]

You know. I’ve never properly been able to articulate how the Baker family makes me feel in my art, so I’m just gonna type it down here because my Madhouse playthrough has gotten me all emotional over them again and they deserve to be talked about just as much as the lords, because they are also Mother Miranda’s victims wether she knew of their existence or not, and wether she bothered to care if she did.

This is mostly about Jack and Marguerite with some Zoe in there for flavour.

We don’t get to see a lot of Jack and Marguerite before he infection (even infected, actually, they’re only in one scene together but that isn’t really them) but what we do tells us a lot. In the Daughters DLC, they’re in a far more stressful situation that you would guess by how they’re acting. Jack has found two unconscious people in a massive shipwreck, one of which is what he believes to be a little girl, and they have that to worry about on top of the storm that has already wrecked part of their property. But Jack and Marguerite manage to keep the mood light. They know how to make each other smile, they know what jokes to tell when the time is right, they had that whole bed and breakfast plan. They’re genuinely such a sweet couple for the small amount of time we do get to see if them, and it’s very intentional that their first REAL scene together as themselves in the Daughters DLC is just them being a sweet ,arrived couple. That’s who they were.

Marguerite was the first to go (and the first to later die, interestingly enough) and Zoe finds her first after the power outage. Marguerite attacks her daughter and Jack intervenes, but even still he’s not hurting her. He could, and he could have been entirely justified in doing so, but all he does is try to hold Marguerite back and tell Zoe to get rope to presumably tie Marguerite up. Jack is a strong guy as we all know, a single stomp from him would’ve ended the game then and there if the mould hadn’t picked up where Ethan left off. Marguerite isn’t as strong as he is even after being infected, her thing isn’t brute strength as much as it is Give Birth To Bug Baby Bodyguards, so he could’ve knocked Marguerite out or caused some kind of physical harm to her to keep her under control. He didn’t, though, and I’m guessing by his line after Zoe leaves the room (“don’t you make me do something I’ll regret”) that he didn’t even try to. The madwoman with the centipede flailing out of her mouth is still his wife. Jack never wanted to hurt his family.

This is the last we and Zoe ever see of Jack before the infection with the exception of the free my family scene with him and Ethan near the end of the main game, but we do hear him resisting. While Zoe is running from him in the Daughters DLC, he’s talking to Eveline with lines like “shut up, you ain’t real!” and laughter that eventually devolves into crying. I’d argue that there’s evidence of this in the main game too. Jack has some interesting voice lines to say the least, but one of them is him telling someone to shut up through grit teeth. Ethan stays impressively silent through the chase sequences with Jack aside from his breathing, so Jack isn’t talking to him. They are the only two people in the main house, so the only other conclusion I can personally draw is that he is talking to Eveline.

Marguerite doesn’t get to make an appearance alongside her husband when he asks Ethan to free his family because she is fully dead, unlike the rest of her family who are either saved (yay Zoe!) or killed off for good in the DLCs. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have her own heart wrenching cutscene though! In the Daughters DLC, Marguerite will stop Zoe to give her the key and apologise, saying that she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and begging Zoe to go as she desperately fights for control. During this interaction, Marguerite strains to tell Eveline “don’t touch her, don’t hurt my family!”

Anyway, moving in from summaries, it’s made pretty clear from these interactions that Jack and Marguerite remember what they do under Eveline’s control. They are fully conscious but unable to do anything about it. Jack actually explains this in his cutscene with Ethan, and the idea of them being entirely aware of what they’re doing but unable to stop it is just so much worse.

Jack remembers drowning Marguerite, he remembers hunting down his daughter, he remembers cutting his son’s arm off, he remembers killing Ethan.

Marguerite remembers attacking Zoe and violently threatening her in the old house, she remembers infecting Jack, she remembers kidnapping Mia.

They both remember every victim, every moulded, every murder. They couldn’t do anything to stop it, but they remember every second.

The Lord’s were victims and they were prisoners, but they had some semblance of free will. Alcina in particular really revels in how violent she can be, going through maidens like the livestock she keeps them as and delighting in how much she knows she can hurt Ethan. Donna and Moreau are exceptions here (Donna especially, Moreau will kill to impress Mother Miranda and doesn’t seem too guilty about his own Cadou experiments though I doubt he fully understood what he was doing) but Heisenberg and Alcina are really just left to their own devices until the ceremony is brought into things.

The Bakers are different. They were never supposed to be a part of this. They were just a family trying to help a little girl. Their kindness is what killed them.

I’d also like to bring up how much pain they must have been in physically as well as emotionally. Jack sounds like he’s in agony during his mutated boss battle, struggling with all of his lines and crying out for his wife. I’ll re,mid you that by now Eveline has entirely abandoned him and Marguerite as her parental figures in exchange for Mia and Ethan, since Mia is her favourite anyway and now she has a father figure to go along with him. Jack is in this weird in between state where he’s not being controlled but he’s too far gone to the infection to ever regain who he was, so his sobbing for Marguerite and his family is very real emotion slipping through.

I know it’s funny to laugh at the bug pussy jokes, I make them too, but I want to take a moment to just think about that. Marguerite’s womb is tearing through her body. Insects are crawling out of her throat and through her raw flesh. Her limbs grow to unnatural lengths. Her womb is a big hive. It’s ripping through her body. The agony that poor woman must have been in, and sounds like she is in during her boss battle, is hard to consider when she’s taking bites out of you and laying bug hives left and right, but it’s heartbreaking when you do take time to consider it.

And Zoe, the unsung hero of Resident Evil 7, had to sit back and watch it all happen. She had to watch her family slip into madness without her being able to do anything and she coped by refusing to acknowledge them as still being her family at all. It’s Joe who has to remind her that they were still her family and that they did love her deep down in their true hearts in the End of Zoe DLC when she’s finally escaped the property. Zoe is stronger than I think most of us give her credit for, she shouldn’t just be looked at as the bad ending girl because she is honestly so much more than that.

I just love the Baker family, they really deserved better.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Present from Mukami [PART 2]

ー The scene starts in the kitchen

Yui: Okay...The oven is preheated.

( ...Once the tart crust finished baking, I’ll pour the custard cream inside. )

( Then after putting plenty of Yuma-kun’s homegrown fruits on top, it’ll be ready. )

( I just have to wait for it to finish baking now, so I suppose I could go check up on the others... )

Selection

→ Check up on the nearby duo

Yuma: Ow!!

Yui: A-Are you okay, Yuma-kun!?

Yuma: Aahn? When did I ask for yer concern?

Yui: B-But...Your finger’s bleeding! We have to clean the wound and disinfect it right away...

Yuma: Aah? You’re fussin’ way too much. A lil’ saliva will do the trick just fine, geez. ...Nn...

Yui: ( Will he be okay...? )

Yuma: Oi, Sow...Don’t be starin’ my way. You’re distractin’ me...

Yui: I-I’m sorry...! Um...I just thought there might be something I can help with...

Yuma: There isn’t.

Ruki: Yuma, don’t be so harsh. You haven’t been making much progress this whole time. I’m sure there’s some tasks you can give her.

Yuma: Ugh...That’s not true...

Ruki: Don’t lie. There aren’t enough ingredients for the soup. If you can’t cut these vegetables, I’m putting someone else in charge.

Yuma: Ah, ya can’t! I’ll cut these!

Yui: ( I can tell he’s really motivated... )

( I wonder what he’s making...? )

( Ah...This scent coming from the pot... )

( It’s consommé...! )

Um, Yuma-kun? I’ll help out where I can!

Yuma: Fuck off!! There’s nothin’ for ya to help me with!!

Yui: ...Sorry...

Ruki: Yuma. Ask for help just for today. You’re going to cut these vegetables?

Yuma: ...Yeah, that’s the plan but it’s not really workin’ out as I’d like.

Yui: ( There’s several incisions... )

( I wonder if he’s trying to cut them into a certain shape...? )

Yuma-kun, are you cutting these in shapes?

Yuma: ...Shapes.

Yui: ...?

Yuma: Are you deaf!? I said star shapes!!

Yui: Star...shapes...?

Yuma: What!? Is it that weird I want to cut them into damn stars!?

Yui: N-No, it’s not strange at all. I’m just a little surprised, that’s all...

Yuma: ...We looked at them over at the deli counter when we went shoppin’, remember? Heart and star shapes...

I want to try that as well! Get it now!?

Yui: Y-Yeah.

Ruki: Yuma, stop losing your temper while holding a kitchen knife.

Also, it doesn’t matter if they’re shaped like stars or not, just cut them regularly.

Yuma: I’m strugglin’ ‘cause I can’t do that!

Yui: ( Honestly, it’s kind of a rare sight to see Yuma-kun get so serious about cooking... )

( Also, when I think he’s cutting them into stars, I can’t help but find that kind of cute! )

Ruki: Yuma. You’re being laughed at.

Yui: ...!!

Yuma: Aah!? What’s so damn funny, huh!?

Yui: I-It isn’t! I just thought everyone would be happy if they were star-shaped!

( I’m sure chaos will break loose if I call him cute... )

Yuma: Hah! That’s exactly why I’m tryin’ to cut these carrots into stars!

Ruki: It won’t make a difference in taste though.

Yuma: Ya eat with yer eyes too, right!?

Ruki: But there’s no point if it gets in the way of actually completing the dish, right?

Yui: W-Wait! I know a good hack!

( I feel as if they’ll start a discussion if I leave these two be now... )

Yuma: Oh...! For real!?

Yui: Yeah!

Um...It’d be a piece of cake if you have cookie cutters.

Yuma: Ahー Now that ya mention it, I’m pretty sure we have some of those layin’ ‘round?

Yui: Really?

( I’m honestly a little surprised we’ll easily find some cookie cutters in this house’s kitchen... )

Yuma: Let’s just say Azusa likes to use those for his own pleasure.

Yui: ( ...What on earth is he doing with them...? )

Yuma: Whatcha gettin’ all down for? Don’t worry. They’re still unused.

Yui: That’s not the problem!

*Rustle*

Yuma: Here, this is what you mean, right?

Yui: Yeah! It should be easy with these!

You cut the carrots into slices first and then use the cookie cutter to cut out the shape.

Yuma: Heehー I’m pretty sure I can pull that off on my own. No need to help me.

Yui: Eh? ...I-I’ll help out as well!

Yuma: Well, Ruki’s been on my case as well, so I guess I’ll leave those veggies up to ya.

Yui: Yeah, thanks. I’ll carefully cut them.

Yuma: ‘Course! These are the veggies I poured my heart and soul into after all!

*Chop chop chop*

Ruki: You’re finally providing the ingredients, it seems. I’m sure I’ll be able to create a nice-tasting dish with these.

Yui: These vegetables make a big difference after all, don’t they?

Ruki: Exactly.

*Chop chop chop*

Yui: ( ーー There we go. I guess we finished chopping everything up for the soup? )

Ruki-kun, can I put them inside?

Ruki: Yeah, I’ll leave that up to you. Yuma, how are those star-shaped carrots looking?

Yuma: Perfect! It’d be borin’ to just put them in the soup, so I made enough to sprinkle on top of the salad as well!

Ruki: ...Do you like them?

Yuma: Yeah! It’s kind of fun to pop them out one after the other! I wonder if there’s anythin’ else I can cut with these?

Yui: Then let’s make cookies next time! I’m sure you’ll be able to put those to great use!

Yuma: Why ‘later’? We still have time to make some, no? 

Ruki: ...Right. It should be fun to have one additional dish.

Yui: Then, for the recipe, it’s in this book so...

Yuma: Oh! I’ll get to it then!

Ruki: Seems like Yuma really took a liking to cutting out shapes. Well, I guess we can let him have his fun.

Yui: Fufu, right...!

Ruki: Well then, shall we taste the soup? ...I’m curious.

Yui: ( Yuma-kun is having fun, but Ruki-kun seems to be enjoying himself as well. )

Ruki: ...

...

...What? If you have the time to stand there watching me, then start moving those hands already. Get on with your own task.

Yui: Y-Yeah...Right. Sorry. However...

Ruki: ...?

Yui: U-Um, I’m curious about the taste of the soup as well...So I was wondering if you’d let me have a little sip?

Ruki: ...Be my guest. However, it’s just average. Something is missing...

We need to think about the balance with the other dishes as well. I can’t make the taste any richer. Should I add more water...?

Yui: Hm...You’re right. I do think it is plenty delicious already, but...

Ruki: Nobody asked for your opinion, but I suppose I’ll let you think about it if you want to.

Yui: ( Hm, let’s see...It might be good to draw out the flavor of the vegetables a little more. )

Ruki: Should we add more acidity from the tomatoes?

Yui: Ah, wait. In that case, why don’t we try adding a bit of lemon juice?

Ruki: Lemon juice...? It would work the same in terms of adding acidity, I suppose...

Yui: They’re fresh vegetables, so I feel like it’s adding a lot of sweetness.

Ruki: ...I see. I suppose I’ll try adding some then.

Yui: Yeah! What do you think...?

Ruki: Not bad. Seems like it was a clever suggestion coming from someone like you. Want to try it?

Yui: Can I? Thank you!

...Yeah, it’s delicious!

Ruki: Right? I’m looking forward to serving this to the others as well.

Yui: ( Ruki-kun looks happy. I hope everyone else will like it too... )

Ruki: I suppose I should lower the heat so it doesn’t overcook. Okay, next up’sーー 

Yuma: Say, it slipped my mind for a sec, but...

But what are we doin’ with this turkey?

Ruki: Aah, that one. I bought it because it’s a staple of any Christmas feast, however...

Yui: ( They’re both looking at... )

Me!?

Ruki: You’re the one who brought it up, so I assume you know how to prepare it?

Yui: Ah, yeah. For the most part...

Yuma: ‘Kay. We’ll leave this bad boy up to ya then.

I’ll get back to my cookies.

Ruki: Good idea. It’d be a waste of time for all three of us to work on the same dish. You should do it.

Yui: ( ... )

( I feel as if this was kind of pushed on me... )

*TIMESKIP*

Ruki: ーー We’re pretty much done. How’s your chicken looking?

Yui: Yeah, I think it’ll be okay...Yuma-kun, how’s the cooking time?

Yuma: It’s lookin’ hella good. Smells nice from the herbs, no?

Ruki: ...It definitely triggers the appetite. Okay, let’s get to plating them.

Yui: ( Thank god. I was honestly a little worried when they left it up to me. )

I’ll put out the plates then!

Ruki: Yeah, thank you.

Also, I’d like to carry all finished dishes to the dining room if they’re done with the decorations over there.

Yuma: Speak of the devil.

ー Kou and Azusa enter the kitchen

Kou: We’ve come to check up on you guys~ How are things looking on your end? ...Wait.

Waah! It smells great here! Seems like you guys safely got everything ready in time as well~

Yui: Yeah, we just need to put everything on the plates and carry them to the dining room. How are the decorations looking?

Azusa: Just fine...Kou said that we should...make the final touches together...

Ruki: The final touches...? I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I suppose we should get all the food ready first.

Yui: Yeah!

→ Go to the dining room

ー The scene shifts to the dining room

Kou: Ah, M-neko-chan! Did you come to help us out? I’m so glad~!

Yui: Yeah! I came here hoping there was still something I could help out with but...It seems like you’re almost ready with the preparations.

Kou: Pretty much! We’d get scolded by Ruki-kun if we slack off after all!

Yui: Fufu, good point. You have to finish before they do, or the food will go cold after all.

The table looks completely different from usual as well. Just a few hours left till we can get this Christmas party started!

Azusa: Say, Eve? Am I doing it right? I’m lining up the stuff we bought today. Tell me if I made a mistake, okay...?

Yui: Don’t worry! You didn’t make any mistakes.

( The Christmas-colored table mats are so cute! )

( The napkins placed at every seat are lovely as well. And above all... )

( Seeing those candles kind of takes me back to the Mass at Church. )

Azusa: Is something the matter? 

Yui: Ah, no. I’m just looking forward to spending Christmas in such a wonderfully decorated room.

Azusa: I’m glad you like it...

*Cling*

Azusa: ...Fufu, this is the last one. The table has been all set...

Yui: All of the silverware has been polished to perfection. Did you do this too?

Azusa: Yeah. It’s especially important to sharpen the knives, or they won’t cut as well, right?

Yui: Sounds like something you would think of.

Kou: Hm. Props to you for getting all of M-neko-chan’s praise, Azusa-kun.

Yui: ...Kou-kun? Is something wrong?

Kou: Nn~ I’m just a little jealous of Azusa-kun.

Yui: Eh? J-Jealous?

Kou: Fufu, just a little bit? You’re only giving him compliments after all.

Yui: You did an amazing job too. You put together the Christmas tree, right?

Kou: Yeah, exactly~ Fufu, it really does feel nice to get praised by you!

That being said, I’m still in the middle of decorating it though.

Azusa: Is that so? In that case, I’ll help out. I’m done with my work after all.

Yui: Decorating the tree, right? I’ll lend a hand too!

Kou: Okay! Let’s decorate it all together then.

Azusa: The tree...It looks prickly...

Yui: Fufu, it really does!

Azusa-kun, you hang ornaments on the branches like this.

Azusa: I wouldn’t mind if the tree decorated me with its needles.

Kou: Pfft! Azusa-kun...Geez! We obviously can’t let that happen.

Yui: E-Exactly, Azusa-kun!

Azusa: ...Is that so? That’s a little disappointing. I’m sure that having my whole body stabbed by those needles is a pain I can only experience today...

Kou: I don’t mean to judge you for your personal preferences, but today you can’t do that.

Azusa: I couldn’t have my knife...And I’m not allowed to stab myself with the tree either...Is Christmas really supposed to be fun?

*Rustle*

Yui: Azusa-kun, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it! Christmas has to be a precious time you spend with family after all...

Azusa: Eve...

Yui: ( Ah, I grabbed his hand in the spur of the moment, but... )

I’m sorry. Um...I just want you to understand. I’m sure it’ll be fun, so let’s try and forget about pain for today?

Azusa: ...Sure. If you insist...

Kou: Haah, thank god. Well then, let’s get back on track and decorate the tree!

*TIMESKIP*

Azusa: Hey, look. This soft, fluffy padding. If you put it underneath your mouth, it looks like a white beard.

Yui: Fufu, you’re right. You look like Santa Claus right now.

Azusa: Santa...Claus?

Yui: Yeah. Santa Claus comes to visit on his sleigh every year on Christmas day, you see.

Then he gives presents to all good children.

Azusa: Heeh...

I’ve never met him but...I see...Only to good children, huh...?

Kou: Pretty sure nobody in this household qualifies~ (1)

Well, getting our hands on what we want with brute force fits us much better anyway, don’t you think so, M-neko-chan~?

Yui: ( Um... )

Azusa: Kou is right...

Yui: Y-You too, Azusa-kun...!?

Azusa: Fufu...

Yui: ( I feel as if I shouldn’t linger on this topic for too long... )

U-Um...Kou-kun? Could you put this on the tree for me?

Azusa-kun, you should continue decorating as well, okay...?

Kou: Fufu, right! Right now we have to stick to the Christmas mood!

Azusa: What should I do with this cotton padding then?

Yui: Ah, right. It’s something meant to mimic snow, so you have to tear it up and sprinkle it across the branches.

Azusa: Okay, gotcha.

Kou: Can I just put these bells and snowman ornaments wherever I want?

Yui: Yeah, they don’t have a set place or anything. I’ll leave it up to your personal taste.

( I should get to decorating as well. )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( ...Every year, I would always decorate the tree by myself instead of Father since he was so busy. )

( However, this year... )

...

Kou: What’s wrong, M-neko-chan? Your hands have stopped moving?

Azusa: Is something bothering you?

Yui: ( I’m decorating with everyone. Fufu, I’m kind of happy. )

No, it’s nothing. Let’s put on the lights once we’re finished with the ornaments!

Kou: Roger! I’m so excited to put the lights on~ They’re the thing I had the most trouble choosing at the store.

Yui: I see.

Kou: We chose them together. Ruki-kun has that cool image so he’s black, no?

Azusa: Yuma is orange...right?

Kou: Exactly! We chose our own favorite color.

And this light pink is you! Fits you perfectly, no?

Yui: Waah! I’m so happy! ...Thank you!

Azusa: Fufu, I’m glad you’re happy.

Yui: Let’s put them on then.

( Covering the whole surface... )

( ... )

( ... )

( Yeah, this should do...! )

Azusa: I finished adding the cotton decorations.

Yui: I’m done over here as well!

Kou: The ornaments are looking perfect as well! In that case, let’s test whether the lights work or not.

Yui: Yeah! Good idea.

Kou: Here we go! Lights on!

*Click*

Yui: Wah...How beautiful. There’s different colors lighting up.

Kou: We made the right choice! I’m looking forward to enjoying these all together!

Azusa: Yeah, it’s really...pretty.

Kou: Right~? I can’t wait to show Ruki-kun and the others!

Yui: ( Huh? But I feel as if something is missing. I wonder what...? )

( We put plenty of ornaments and lights on the tree... )

Kou: Hm...? What’s wrong, M-neko-chan?

Yui: Ah, yeah...I feel as if it’s not quite right yet...

Kou: Could it be this, perhaps?

Yui: Ah! The big star you put on the very top of the tree!

Azusa: ...Once we add that to the tree...It’ll become even more beautiful, right? Let’s put it on, Kou...

Kou: Nu-uh~ This is a special star, so I thought it’d be better to put it on once all five of us have gathered here together.

Azusa: ...I see. Yeah...Good point.

Yui: In that case, let’s go check up on them once we’re done here.

ー Ruki enters the room

*Thud*

Yui: Ah...

Ruki: I’ve come to check up on your process. Are you done with the decorations?

Azusa: Yeah, we just finished. What do you think?

Ruki: ...Yeah, it looks beautiful. The three of you really tried your best.

Kou: Hooray! Nothing quite boosts one’s self-confidence like a compliment from Ruki-kun!

Azusa: Yeah, me too...I’m very happy.

Kou: Say, Azusa-kun, M-neko-chan? Can you both raise your hands for a sec?

Azusa: What...?

Yui: ...?

*Tap*

Yui: Kyah!?

Azusa: Wah! W-What was that...?

Kou: A high five! It’s a way to celebrate a shared success! I’m looking forward to Yuma-kun’s reaction as well~

Azusa: Yeah...I put Yuma through a lot of trouble earlier...So I hope he’ll like it...

Yui: I’m sure he will! I’m excited.

Ruki: There’s no shame in rejoicing, but there’s still some work left. We’ll carry the food here. Lend me a hand.

Yui: Yeah!

( I’m sure the crust should be about done by now as well... )

( I’ll go finish it by adding the custard and fruits! )

*TIMESKIP*

*Thud*

Yui: This should be the final plate of food, right?

Ruki: Yeah. We’ve carried everything here. Yuma, pour our drinks.

Yuma: Already on it.

*Cling*

Yui: ( The candles have been lit and there’s a warm buffet laid out. The room is decorated as well... )

Kou: Haah~ Looking good, don’t you think~? Seeing all these different dishes lined up on the table~

Azusa: Looks delicious...

Yuma: It doesn’t just ‘look’ good. I can promise ya the taste won’t disappoint either. Ya better look forward to it!

Kou: Geez, you’re way too excited, Yuma-kun.

I can’t wait to try this cake loaded with fruit you made either.

Yui: Really? I’m glad to hear that.

Ruki: You two gave it your best shot as well. The elaborate decorations help lighten the mood up as well.

Yuma: Hell yeah. When the room is decorated this way, I immediately get those ‘today’s a special day’ vibes.

Altho it still feels a little weird for us Vampires to celebrate Christmas.

Ruki: Haha, you have a point.

It may be strange for us Vampires, but this day only comes once a year. It shouldn’t hurt to celebrate every once in a while, right?

Kou: I appreciate all the praise, but we’re not quite done yet~

Yuma: Aahn? Whatcha mean?

Azusa: We have to put the biggest star on the very top of the tree.

Ruki: ...? Why did you not put it on yet?

Kou: Eeh~? I mean, this is such a rare occasion, so I wanted all of us to be here and witness its completion.

Yuma: I see. Sounds good? I don’t dislike that way of thinkin’.

Azusa: Well then, Kou. Here. Put it on top.

Yui: ( Azusa-kun is handing the star to Kou-kun... )

Kou: Thank you, Azusa-kun. Well then...Here, M-neko-chan~

Yui: ...Eh?

Kou: None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you after all.

So I want to leave this up to you!

Yui: No way...Are you sure I can put it on?

Ruki: Don’t sweat the details. If you don’t put that on, we can never get the party started.

Yuma: Oi, Sow. Get on with it.

Azusa: ...Put it on with your very own hands.

Yui: Thank you guys. Well then...

*Rustle*

Kou: Ready? Lights on!

*Click*

Ruki: Hooh...

Yuma: Wow! What’s this? I didn’t know these trees light up!

Azusa: ...I like Christmas.

Yui: ( How pretty. I could gaze at it forever... )

Kou: Well then, we’ve finished decorating so let’s get to our seats and eat now!

Yuma: Yeah! Nothin’ like enjoyin’ a meal surrounded by those shimmerin’ lights!

ー Everyone sits down at the table

Ruki: Oi, Yui. You should sit down as well.

Yuma: Geez, ya slowpoke! Whatcha doin’? Hurry up and get yer ass over here.

Kou: Come on, we’re going to get started without you, M-neko-chan!

Azusa: Eve, hurry...Everyone already took a seat.

Yui: Ah, yeah, wait! I’ll be there in a sec...

*Cling cling*

Everyone: Merry Christmas.

Yuma: ‘Kay! Time to chow down!

Ruki: Thank you for the meal.

Kou: I’m digging in~!

Azusa: ...Let me have a taste...

Yui: Thanks for the meal!

Kou: Mmh~! Yuma-kun’s vegetables never fail to amaze me!

Yuma: I’m the one who grew them, so they’re obviously gonna be delicious!

Azusa: ...Nom, nom.

Ruki: I’m glad you’re all enjoying it.

Kou: Although I’m a little curious about these oddly-shaped vegetables.

Yuma: The taste’s still the same so whatever!!

Ruki: Yuma, don’t shout too loud.

Yuma: Che...Those are the duds. There’s some proper stars in there as well.

Kou: ...These are supposed to be stars!?

Ruki: Right. Yuma shed blood, sweat and tears to make those.

Azusa: ...The fruit tart you made is delicious. The crust is crisp...

Yui: I’m glad to hear that. Yuma-kun is the one who grew the fruits on top as well.

Azusa: Yuma is amazing. I don’t think I could ever grow vegetables...

Ruki: Yuma is great at taking care of things after all. Why don’t you try looking after someone else as well for a change?

Azusa: ...Look after someone else...?

Yui: ( I’m honestly having trouble picturing that... )

Yuma: In that case, why don’t you let him take care of you, Ruki?

Ruki: ...!

...Azusa, forget what I said just now. Understood?

Azusa: Yeah, sure...

Kou: Ahaha! This is so much fun. Hey, M-neko-chan, thank you!

Yui: ...Eh?

Kou: I’m thanking you for teaching us about Christmas.

It’s our first time celebrating such a fun event, so we’re all in high spirits!

Yui: ...I should be the one saying thank you. I thought I would be spending the day alone...so I felt a little down.

However, I’m really happy you all worked together to create such a fun Christmas for me. Thank you, everyone...

Yuma: Hah, we didn’t do this for ya or anythin’. We only went through with it ‘cause it sounded fun.

Yui: I’m still glad regardless. For letting me join your Christmas party.

Yuma: I mean, ya are kind of a bother to us, but did ya really think we’d leave ya out?

Kou: Ah~ Yuma-kun’s flustered~!

Yuma: Haah!? Why would I get flustered!?

Ruki: You’re red all the way to your ears. Why don’t you be honest with yourself?

Yuma: You too, Ruki!?

Ruki: Hmph...My bad. Seems like I’m having a bad case of ‘the slip of the tongue’ today.

Yuma: Che...!

Ruki: Yuma, cheer up. We’re actually spending Christmas as a family.

Azusa: Exactly...

Kou: Me too! Food tastes so much better when you get to enjoy it without being upset!

Yui: ( I didn’t think it would be so fun to spend time with everyone like this. )

( Huh...? I just thought ‘fun’... )

( Right. At some point, the time I spend with the Mukami family must have grown dear to me... )

Kou: What are you grinning for?

Yui: Um...This may sound strange, but I thought it’s fun to spend time with you guys.

Azusa: ...If you’re happy...then so am I.

Ruki: I thought you were an odd human, but you’ve exceeded that point...You are basically being held hostage after all. 

Yui: Right. I know it’s weird but...

Kou: You’re really living up to your name~ Although that’s exactly what makes you cute!

Yuma: Heh...If we ever hold a Christmas party again, ya better help out too. 

No way in hell I’m wastin’ my time makin’ some cake, so I’ll leave my fruits in yer hands.

Also, we need someone to make the cookies.

Yui: Thank you...! I better practice a bunch in preparation for that day!

Ruki: Let’s leave it at that. The food we worked so hard on will get cold.

Kou: Ah, Azusa-kun you’re adding spices again~ You shouldn’t ruin the taste of the food. 

Azusa: ...Just a sprinkle. I want to make this an even more fun experience...

Ruki: Haah...Can’t you guys at least enjoy a meal in silence?

Kou: But this is what suits us best, don’t you think?

Yuma: It’d be kind of creepy if things were all quiet.

Ruki: ...Right. I suppose this is quite tame for a Vampire’s holy night.

Yui: ( I’m truly glad I was able to have such a fun Christmas... )

( I wish I’ll be able to experience this sight once more somedayーー )

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) ‘NG’ is a term which has recently picked up in popularity in the Japanese language. It is an abbreviation of the English phrase ‘no good’ and is used to refer to things which are forbidden or don’t qualify.

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← [ Part 1 ]

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Two Shorten the Road

part 1

joel dawson x reader

warnings: cussing? idk, bad writing.....fluff, cuteness, monsters(is this a warning), mentions of death, SPOILERS

word count: 2154

prompt: when your best friend decides to leave your colony to go find the love of his life, you decide to join him on his journey even if you aren’t so happy about where this journey is going

Welp I did it, I took it into my own hands. I am writing a joel dawson series. Because we👏need 👏more👏joel👏fics👏 it’s basically the movie, almost the same script but obviously slightly different…ENJOY! <3

No one in my generation or later had a typical upbringing, I mean some of us did but then the world ended. This type of thing sounds straight out of some apocalyptic movie, but we basically live in one now. Agatha 616, an asteroid heading straight for earth, I know, so original. So we all came together and did what we do best, blow things up. Yup, we blew up teh asteroid, and humanity was saved! We thought. But here’s the thing about rockets, they are made of a bunch of chemical compounds which eventually rained back down on earth. Suddenly there were these Aileen creatures that mutated and started eating us. Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles, you name it. Our president was even killed by a giant moth. Ya….not so original now huh? We suddenly need tanks to kill ants, oh man I remember the good old days when a shoe would do just fine. Sometimes even the tanks didn’t work. Eventually the really big ones and our military took each other out and we lost 95% of the human population in a year! Those of us who survived hid, bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years I’ve been hiding in an underground bunker. It’s really not as bad as it sounds, and it’s better than getting eaten alive. It’s a great group of people and we all love each other.

“Are you sure they’re asleep?”

“Who?”

“Y/N and joel!”

“Oh ya I’m sure”

“Joel? Y/n?”

“He’s asleep”

Actually we are both awake. Me and my best friend joel have kinda mastered faking being asleep. Our beds are right across from each other so we normally just lie there and make stupid faces at each other. We are the only two single people in our bunker. Nice huh? Joel is my best friend. I met him when I joined the colony. He’s the sweetest. It’s funny cause everyone thinks we should just have sex already because that’s literally all everyone else does. But we are way above that. Anyway, joel is in love with his girlfriend from before the colony, her name is Aimee. With one “I” and two “e”s. He loves to talk about her, he writes her letters. So in reality, I am the only one who is not in love in this bunker. I’ve never had a boyfriend, ever, even before the world ended.

We don’t really get any sleep. The moaning kinda keeps us awake. I got up and out of my bed and headed for the kitchen. I heard Joel’s bed creak and then his footsteps as he followed behind me. Another annoying thing about being down here is that to get to the kitchen from my room, you have to walk though other people’s bedrooms. Oh shit, they are busy, why would they leave their door open. Me and Joel stopped.

“Oh” joel and I said in unison

“Hey Y/N! Hey Joel!” Ava said

“Oh hey Ava” Joel said, we didn’t dare look over to our left.

“Y/N how’s it going?” Tim asked

“T-totally good tim, h-how are you doing” I asked

“Yeah, good” he responded

“I uh we couldn’t sleep” said Joel looking at the ceiling

“Ya we know the feeling” Ava said with a laugh

“Yeah probably not for the…..same reasons” joel said looking straight ahead

“Your guyses door was open, did you…did you know that?” I asked

“Yeah we know” they said

I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together

“Okay” joel trailed off

Ever since Tim’s parents were eaten by a swarm of termites he and Ava have gotten really close, in every way.

“Okay, goodnight” joel said as we walked

Basically everyone is coupled up down here, a baby was born last winter! Welcome to the apocalypse kid. Ok if we ever get out of this, that would be an awesome story to tell your kids. “Oh ya I was born in an underground bunker doing a monster apocalypse” “yes exactly like World War Z but with bugs bigger than a 5 story building”. I mean come on.

So your probably wonder how the hell we get food, we’ll we have a cow. Gurdy. Gurdy is great. We also have a hunting party that brings back whatever they can from the surface. It’s gotten harder and harder, cause we ran out of bullets. And facing one of those things with a handmade weapon is just as hard as it sounds. It’s very very difficult. I go with them….sometimes. I still get scared. But I’ve been out quite a lot, especially compared to my man joel over here. I’ve been out maybe 30 times, he’s been out…maybe once, or not even. He’s the chef of the bunker. He makes super good Minestrone.

Me and joel like to hang out with Mavis. A robot. Yup. Not much for conversation, her batter is shot. Just like every other mavis I would imagine. When I’m not hunting we hang out with her. But sometimes I just go read. Reading and joel keep me sane. I mean sometimes joel drives me insane but I still love him. I have quite the collection of books too! I’ve got Emma by Jane Austen, a couple random ones that we found, all the hunger games and Harry Potter books, some mysteries that stopped being mysteries after a while, and then of course some smutty romance books for personal entertainment.

Joel likes to say that his thing is target practice. He has never hit the target but ya know, gotta entertain yourself. I think his thing is drawing though, he has this book that he draws in from Aimee. It’s really cool actually. He’s really good.

I sat watching Joel as he tried to hit the target, laughing a little every time he missed. It was cute how hard he tried.

“Shut up” he said shaking his laugh away

I laughed again, but then suddenly the lights started flickering. You could hear screeches and creeks echoing through the bunker. Joel turned to look at me. Worry and determination in his eyes. We both scrambled out of the room and into the kitchen where everyone was preparing.

“Hustle, hustle people we’ve gotta move”

I turned to look at Joel but then realized that he wasn’t next to me. Where did he go? Worry flooded through me. Suddenly the clanking of our weapon started behind me.

“Hey guys!” Joel said as he rammed into the railing, I shook my head. “Guys! I’ve got the weapons” he smiled at me

A few people walked over to him taking them out of his hands

“Stay” said Tim

“W-what?” Joel asked looking around in confusion

Everyone was talking and barking orders “grab what you need and let’s go! Y/N you coming?”

My eyes shot open “yes! Yup!” I jumped up and grabbed the bow and arrow from Joel.

“W-what's happening?” He asked innocently “what’s going on?”

“There’s a breach” said Tim

“What do you mean? Like inside the bunker breach?!” He asked

“Yes joel! Now come on!” I told him, patting him on the pack as I followed the others

He followed me and watched the plan get arranged

“Anna, Y/N and I will engage. Anderson and Tom plank him”

“Plank him, ya ok where do you guys need me? You want me to uh come through the rear or..?” Joel asked eagerly

“I don’t think your going to pass this joel” I told him

“Pass what? You guys need help, let me help” said clutching his crossbow

“You gonna make me say it?” said Sam

“Say what?!” God he was so adorably clueless

“You can’t handle it joel, your shook” said Sam, we all began getting into positions

“Ya ok, yes so you guys don’t get scared..ever?” He asked still getting ready to fight

“We get scared, we all get scared joel, but you get really scared” said Sam

“They are trying to make you feel bad joel” I said sweetly, trying to calm him down

“We love you joel”

“But your a liability”

“Ok why did that speech feel so rehearsed? And what about Y/N? She’s like…ya know?” He said bobbing his head

“Joel-“ suddenly the bunker shook and the lights flicked again

“Ok 30 meters out! Let’s move!” And we were off

Leaving joel and some others behind. You could hear the growling of whatever we were up against

I followed the others and listened carefully. I was freaking shaking. Don’t ask how I got sucked into becoming one the the hunters. Kinda just happened and I was just-

“OH SHIT!” I heard someone yell, it was too dark to see. Someone was gone, that thing took them. I couldn’t even see it. Oh fuck my life. Everyone began scattering, running away from the monster. I stopped running to take a breath, when I realized I was alone. Nicely done Y/N. The lights kept flickering. I heard something blow up in the distance.

“Conned? Conner?” I heard a whisper, one I knew all too well. Shit, joel. I ran toward the sound, and had no idea I was also running toward certain death. I stopped running. There it was, that thing. I’d never seen this before. I didn’t recognize it. I stayed silent, not moving at all. It slowly crawled over a shower curtain. Oh fuck. He was going toward joel! I quickly grabbed my bow and arrow and shot it. Right though the face. Next to its….eye I guess you could call it. Joel stood there, frozen.

I slowly walked over to him “Joel, hey are you ok?” I asked as I slipped my hand into his. He was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks. He has a bad freezing problem, so I've been helping him work on it.

About an hour later I sat with Joel, still holding his hand as he stared out into space. We could hear everyone talking. How could this have happened?

“It ripped through steal”

“Anderson and I resealed the Breach point, nothings getting in that way again”

“But why did it happen?”

I tried to toon it out, and I hoped Joel did too.

“Joel, do you wanna talk about it?” I asked squeezing his hand, he looked so sad, which just crushed me

He shook his head

“Ok….” I nodded, I leaned into hug him but was interrupted by his voice

“How far away is Aimee's colony?” He asked

I pulled back, looking at him confused. The talking stopped and everyone look at him

“What?” Tim asked

“Aimee’s colony, how far away is it?” He repeated

“About 85 miles” he said as he furrowed his brows

“How long will it take to get there?”

“What do you mean joel?” I asked leaning closer to him

“Just humor me, how long?” He insisted

“7 days” said Tim

“Someone who’s armed and trained would hardly last 50miles, but you…joel” Ava said, I felt bad for him, he really didn’t deserve any of this

“Alright” Tim continued “now I need volunteers”

“I’m gonna go” joel said

No one said anything, they just stared

“It’s an impossible journey joel” said Tim, crossing his arms

Joel stood up, moving around my chair. “No im serious…I love you guys but there’s only one person in this world who ever truly made me happy and she’s only 85 miles away” he said strongly “I’m gonna go see her” I could see his mind was made up

God he was such a romantic, how could you not love this guy? Sure it hurts when your best friend tells you that you didn’t make him truly happy. Especially when you maybe sorta kinda have a crush on him.

He let out a breath “woah, that felt awesome” he said as he walked off to start packing

I stood there for a second processing and thinking, but then suddenly my mouth took over and well….

“I’m coming with you!” I said, he froze “I mean you can’t leave me here with these middle aged people, and your my best friend so” I shrugged

“I’ll come back for you I promise” he walked over to me “I can’t let you put yourself in even more danger” he said grabbing my arms

“I can’t let you put yourself in danger knowing that I could have helped protect you” I said, he stared blankly at me

I smiled “o-ohK…then I guess…” he trailed off

“Cool I’ll go pack” I skipped past him. Was I scared? Hell yes. But like I said, I needed to help joel and protect him in every way I can. And sure I wasn’t so happy that he was returning to his long lost love but if it made him happy then I would live. And anyway, two do shorten the road.

[whenisitenoughtrees]

If you’re still doing these, 33 with Moceit? ALL the fluff with perhaps a little dash of angst?

@thatoneloudowl i was gonna do a dash of angst but then i knocked over the angst jar and spilled a couple cups so. there is a little more than a dash. but the ending! is fluffy! don’t worry!!

for 33. Sometimes, I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?

Title: like a puzzle (we fit)

Word Count: 3,328

Content Warnings: mention of disordered eating, self-isolation as a form of self-harm

(fic masterpost w/ ao3 links)

These days, Patton wanders the mindscape like a ghost. Frankly, Janus is beginning to find it annoying.

Or at least, he would, if the sight didn’t make his heart clench, didn’t make his stomach turn, didn’t make some unidentifiable emotion rise up within him, threatening to spill out before he even lets himself acknowledge it. And he’s not acknowledging it, if only because doing so while Thomas’ mental health is in such a precarious position is a risk he’s not willing to take. But that’s not enough to stop him from watching Patton out of the corner of his eye, not enough to stop him from tracking his movements, from taking in the way he seems—

Well. Bereft seems like a good way to put it. Bereft of his usual spark, his usual joy. And bereft in another way, too, because as the time passes, Janus realizes something else: Patton is isolating himself.

It’s fairly obvious, at least to him, so he’s surprised that none of the others have picked up on it— or perhaps they have, and they’re ignoring it, but that seems like a level of maliciousness that he doesn’t think that the so-called “light” sides are capable of. Because Patton is suffering, and he can’t imagine that they would let him go on in this way if they knew, even if they are angry with him. So, they’re not cruel, just oblivious, and if the situation were any different, Janus might laugh about the fact that he of all sides is the only one to recognize that something is wrong.

But this is no laughing matter.

Patton’s face is pale and drawn, his eyes watery, his smiles wan and fake. He’s grown thinner, too, if Janus isn’t mistaken, and that is yet another cause for concern; Patton is not the best cook in the world, but that has never stopped him from trying. The fact that he’s stopped cooking, perhaps even stopped eating, is worrisome, and the worst thing about all of this is that Janus isn’t entirely sure what to do about it.

He knows self-care intimately, all of its practices, all of its uses. It’s his job, and in theory, getting Patton to take better care of himself should be easy for him. But Patton has always been particular about deserving things, and Janus doesn’t know that he’s reached the level of relationship that would allow him to persuade Patton that he doesn’t deserve to be treating himself this way. He’s not sure that he’s could convince him of it outright, and while he thinks that manipulating him to come to that point of view might be doable, the idea leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

Already, his judgment is being clouded by sentiment. He wishes that he were more upset about it than he is.

But whether he knows what to do or not, something needs to happen, and an opportunity arrives soon enough. He’s lounging in the common room— and the fact that he has the freedom to do that now is still nothing short of spectacular, frankly, not that he would ever admit as much out loud— when Patton comes down the stairs, bleary-eyed, and goes to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen. He watches, curious, as Patton passes him with barely a glance.

It is instinct to follow him. Patton doesn’t seem to notice his presence, so he leans against the doorframe, observing quietly as Patton fumbles a glass from the cabinet, almost dropping it, and sticks it under the tap to fill with water. He considers saying something when Patton gulps down half of it in one go, and again when Patton sighs, bracing himself against the counter. But it feels like an intrusion, somehow, and the words won’t come.

So, he doesn’t say anything, preparing himself to jump in the moment that Patton turns and sees him.

Patton turns and sees him.

“Hello, Pa—”

But Patton flinches violently, and Janus is cut off by the sound of glass shattering on the floor. All thoughts of having a cool, measured conversation fly out the window.

“Shit,” he says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to— here, just let me—”

He steps forward, choreographing his movement so Patton can avoid him if he wants, but Patton is staring at the ground, his eyes wide as they flit across the glass now scattered on the tile. He doesn’t react as Janus takes his elbow, guiding him away from the glass shards, and he doesn’t react when Janus snaps his fingers, getting rid of the mess entirely.

Janus’ concern grows.

“Patton?” he asks. “Patton, are you with me?”

Slowly, Patton blinks. His gaze comes into focus, and then he smiles, a smile so clearly plastered on, so clearly fake that it sits like a physical weight in Janus’ gut.

“Janus!” he chirps. “Hi! Sorry about that, I’m not sure what came over me. Guess I’ve got a real case of butter fingers today.” He waves his hand, holding a Butterfingers bar between his fingers, and Janus frowns. He knows a deflection when he sees one, though he’s less certain that Patton realizes that he’s doing it in the first place. By now, he wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an ingrained instinct.

Look away, Patton is saying. Wasn’t that a funny joke? Pay attention to the joke, not to me. I’m alright.

“I should be the one apologizing,” he says. “I startled you.”

Patton laughs. “That’s alright,” he says. “Really, I guess I just wasn’t paying enough attention. Was there something that you needed?”

He maintains a blank face with an effort. “Do I need to have a reason to spend time with you?” he asks, and there is the first crack: a moment of bewilderment passing across Patton’s face, as if he can’t possibly believe that someone would want to be around him for the sake of his company. It’s a familiar look, a bitter one, one he would never admit aloud to having seen in his own mirror.

“Of course, I would love to talk to you,” he continues. “But only if you’re amenable.”

Patton squints at him, and this, too, is familiar ground, as Patton tries to figure out whether he’s sincere or not. He waits patiently as Patton’s expression folds into something just a little more genuine, tinged with relief.

“Sure,” he says. “I’d love to talk for a little while.”

Something sour coats Janus’ tongue; a half-truth, then, though which half, he can’t tell. Patton is almost as practiced in lying as he is, though his are so often self-directed. But for now, he will take the admission at face value, and as he walks over to the couch, Patton follows, settling on the cushions next to him, and that is what is important.

“In all honesty, I wanted to know how you were doing,” he says, keeping his voice as gentle and sincere as he possibly can. It doesn’t come naturally to him, but somehow, it is easier when it is Patton. Easier to open up, easier to express his true concerns. Easier to allow himself to care, and he wishes he didn’t have to read into that, but he knows very well what it means, even if he’s shelving it to be considered at a later date. “It’s been some time now since the wedding, but I couldn’t help but notice that you haven’t been spending much time around the others lately.”

The wince is so quick that Janus half-wonders if he imagined it. But no— it was masked quickly, but it was there.

“Well, you know how it is,” Patton says. “Everyone’s so busy lately, me included! You know, with Nico and all.”

Janus feels his chest fill with warmth at the mere mention of the name, though he keeps his infatuation off his face as well as he can. There is not a single side in the mindscape that isn’t taken with Nico, completely and utterly, and Janus is unashamed to count himself among their number. Nico is who Thomas wants at the moment, after all, and Janus is always eager to let Thomas act on his wants.

But bringing him up now is nothing more than another distraction, one that he sees through immediately.

“I don’t know at all,” he agrees, “But, Patton, I can’t help but feel as though this is something else.” He flicks through a couple of options in his mind, wondering what will get through to him the best. After a moment of consideration, he reaches out and places a hand on Patton’s arm. It’s awkward; casual physical contact is not something he’s particularly practiced in. But Patton doesn’t seem to mind it, or at least, he doesn’t move away, though he appears a bit startled. “You’ve moved past busy into outright avoidance.”

Patton’s jaw works. “I’m not avoiding—”

“Patton.”

Patton stops and looks at him for a moment. And then, he slumps in on himself, like a marionette with its strings cut. “Am I that obvious?” he asks, and he sounds so miserable that for a moment, Janus wants nothing more than to wrap him up in his arms and hold him until his pain goes away. An unusual instinct for him, but perhaps it makes sense; Patton has always liked hugs, as far as he knows, so it’s not unreasonable that his first thought would be to offer one.

His drive for self-preservation goes far beyond preserving himself, after all.

“Not really,” he says, “but you know how I’m so terribly unobservant.” He pauses, and then goes on, more quietly. “I won’t force you to talk to me if you would rather not. But we’ve had the conversation about repression before. Multiple times, if I remember correctly.”

Patton laughs, but there’s no warmth in it. Just something sad, self-deprecating.

“No, no, you’re right,” he says. “And I know it’s not good, I just—”

He waits, and Patton draws in a breath.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says, “about my mistakes a lot, lately. And I— I understand that it’s okay that I make them, and that I can’t be perfect, and as long as I try my best to fix things and do better then it’s alright, but it’s just that— Roman’s been so happy lately, you know? Because he finally got something that he wanted. And it just sort of hit me that I’ve been keeping him from having that for so long. He hasn’t been happy in so long, and I’m not even sure that anyone’s been happy in so long, and it’s all my fault because I’ve been saying that it’s wrong to want things for yourself, but it’s not really wrong at all and I know that now, but I just don’t know how to—”

“Patton,” Janus says, squeezing his arm, “please, breathe.”

Patton stops, looking at him, which isn’t exactly what he meant him to do, but he’s breathing, at least.

“Is this why you’ve been avoiding them?” he asks. “Because you’ve been worrying about this?”

Patton glances down, his hands twisting into the hem of his shirt.

“I just don’t want to hurt them again,” he says, voice small, and Janus is surprised at his own flash of anger. Who it’s directed at, he can’t say. The others, perhaps, for letting it get this bad. Himself, for not seeing it sooner.

“I understand that,” he says, “but even if you weren’t letting yourself magnify your missteps, which you are, by the way, you can’t possibly believe that they’d want you to hurt yourself instead.”

Patton jerks. “I’m not—”

“Oh, you’re not?” He breathes out sharply through his nose, trying to regain some of his composure. If this were any other side, he would feel comfortable in berating them from dawn to dusk, but Patton is too fragile for that right now. Even he can recognize as much. “Patton,” he says, softer, but firm, “when was the last time you ate?”

Patton’s brow furrows. “This morning,” he answers, “or— no. Wait. It had to have been— no, that’s not it either.” The corners of his eyes pinch as he tries to work through it, and while Janus has to admit that it is some relief to know that he hasn’t been denying himself food on purpose, the fact that the question is a difficult one at all is still very concerning.

“I—” Patton stops, stutters. “I guess I haven’t been very hungry lately. I didn’t think it had been that long—”

“It’s alright,” Janus interrupts, even though it isn’t, because there is an edge of panic beginning to creep into Patton’s voice, and he would like to avoid that if he can. “Well, we can work on it, at any rate.”

Patton’s hands are trembling. He pauses, considering for a moment, and then reaches out to take them in his. The contact is startling, despite the fact that he initiated it, and judging from the way Patton stills, the sentiment is shared. It is almost enough to make him pull away again, writing the venture off as a bad idea, but he doesn’t want to give Patton the wrong impression, doesn’t want him to assume that he stopped for any reason other than his own hangups about touch.

“That is,” he says, “if you’ll allow me to help. I can’t force you into anything. Ultimately, you’re your own person. Or rather, your own part of a whole person. But that means that the decision is up to you.”

Patton doesn’t reply. He’s staring at where their hands are connected, his face twisted into an expression that Janus can’t even begin to describe, and a horrible suspicion enters his mind.

Self-isolation can be a form of self-harm, too, and Patton has always been so tactile by nature.

“How long has it been since you last touched someone?” he asks, and Patton startles, yanking his hands out of Janus’ grip like he’s been burned. Janus tries not to let it sting.

“That’s not—” he says. “That’s not a big deal. I can— I don’t have to— and I didn’t want to bother anybody, so I—”

“Right, because asking people for a bit of physical contact is such a bother,” he says, his voice veering sharper than he intends.

“Isn’t it?” Patton asks, and Janus rears back at his tone. “Everyone’s dealing with their own things right now, so why should they have to help me on top of that? And besides, I’m clingy, and nobody—”

“Who told you that?”

Generally, he refrains from trying to murder his fellow sides, if only on the principal that they’re all needed for Thomas to function properly, but if it turns out that one of them has caused this, that one of them has called Patton clingy, made him think that seeking out affection when he needs it is somehow wrong, or a burden on others, then he refuses to be help responsible for his actions.

“No one had to tell me that,” Patton says. “But it’s true, isn’t it? I’m too much, and I’ve been trying to be better about that too, but it’s just—”

No.

No, no, no.

“No,” he says. “It’s not true. You’re not too much, not when it comes to things like this, and anyone who has ever told you otherwise is wrong. No—” He raises a hand when Patton goes to cut him off, though he doesn’t actually exercise his silencing ability. Repressing Patton now would be the exact opposite of helpful. “And that includes yourself.” He reaches out and takes Patton’s hands again, holding on tight. He can feel how tense Patton is, how every muscle in his body has stiffened.

“Please,” Janus says. “Tell me what you want.”

Patton’s eyes well up with tears. His lips quiver. The silence stretches on.

And finally:

“I— sometimes, I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?” It’s a whimper, a plea, and really, Janus is absolutely going to kill each and every last inhabitant of the mindscape for neglecting Patton like this, for allowing him to believe that something so simple as cuddling him would be a chore, would be too much. He’s going to kill them, but later, because here and now, Patton needs him more than he needs any acts of violence, no matter how well-deserved.

“Of course it’s not,” he says, and hopes that the sincerity comes through, hopes that Patton doesn’t assume he’s lying. “Come here.”

And even as he draws Patton closer, he begins to panic. He has never done this before, never been asked to do this; generally, the others have always assumed that he likes his space, and usually, that’s true enough that he’s never bothered to correct the notion. It’s had the added benefit of keeping Remus at arm’s length when he’s difficult to handle, but he would be lying— ha— if he said that he’d never considered the drawbacks before now, never let himself wonder what it would be like to have someone else so close to him.

He’s never cuddled. Never been cuddled, never cuddled someone else. So really, he is possibly the absolute worst side for Patton to be stuck with right now.

But he’s what Patton’s got, so he tugs Patton up against his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Patton makes a noise, something between a gasp and a whine, but it only takes a second for him to melt into the touch, all of his weight landing firmly against Janus’ body as he goes limp as a ragdoll.

It’s an awkward position. He doesn’t know anything about cuddling, but he’s fairly certain that it’s supposed to be more comfortable than this.

He wonders if the fact that he feels like his skin is on fire is typical, or if that’s just him. A consideration for later, maybe, though his heart is beating almost too fast to ignore.

“Here,” he says, “let’s—”

He pulls back, heart panging at Patton’s soft whimper, but he settles himself on the couch, a sprawling position halfway between sitting and lying down. He beckons, then, and Patton wastes no time before lurching forward, draping himself along Janus’ body, and this— this feels right, somehow, their limbs slotting into all the right places, curving against each other, and Janus places his hands on Patton’s back to keep him in place. Not that he needs to; Patton doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere.

Patton tucks his face underneath his chin, resting against the hollow between his neck and collarbone. Janus has to suppress a whimper of his own. He’s never been touched there. Not ever.

He feels himself melting into Patton just as much as Patton is melting into him. It’s new, and strange, and a bit terrifying, but he doesn’t want it to stop.

Patton lets out a sigh, long and low. “‘M sorry I was being dumb,” he murmurs, words barely intelligible.

“It’s not dumb to be scared, or to have self-doubt,” he replies, though it’s a struggle to make himself coherent. His brain feels mushy, his thought processes slow, like wading through knee-deep water. “You’re wrong, of course, but it’s not dumb.” He pauses. “And it’s definitely not dumb to want someone to take care of you.”

“‘M glad you’re here,” Patton mumbles. “I’m glad it’s you. Thank you, Janus.”

Something in his chest bursts, warm and brilliant, and he doesn’t think it’s the contact.

“Of course,” he says, fighting to speak past a mouth that has gone very dry. “Anytime.”

Patton shifts, snuggling closer, and he wonders if Patton realizes just how much he means it. Because he does, perhaps more than he has ever meant anything else.

He’s not ready to say it, yet, though. Not yet ready to make it known, to open himself up to that. So, for the moment, he holds Patton against him, and lets him rest. Safe, warm, and though unspoken, loved.

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[peach-the-owl]

I loved seeing the Gentlemen saves Jester's kid in the Rescued piece you wrote, could we have some more of the Gentlemen and Jester's kid? Maybe them calling him Grandpa?

Sorry this took so long, it started as one thing and then turned into something I didn't originally plan for… Hope you still like it 😁

The Little Things You See

Child of the Nein (Jester & Child!Reader)

(More of The Gentleman & Child!Reader but you get the idea)

As much as you’d like to help the Nein in their missions there were a few exceptions here and there were you would have to stay behind, one such reason being the group getting tasked by the Gentleman to look into a… as Jester put it, bad version of her mother’s job.

"This is for grownups only okay, no sneaking along." Jester re-informs, you give her a nod. "I mean it, this isn’t just a fight the bad guys and win, we have to be a little more sneaky and I don’t want you to get caught in something really inappropriate."

"Okay mama, I promise not to follow." You say holding one hand up and placing the other on your chest to show her you didn’t have your fingers crossed… this time.

"Good good," she hums happily, "and don’t worry you'll be looked after here, right dad!" She calls over to the Gentleman, who rubs at his temples and lets out a groan. He quickly straightens himself out more and goes on to give one more quick briefing to the Nein before they depart, leaving you there with him.

"So now what?" You tilt your head up at him curiously.

"Now I have some business to attend to, while you stay here and don’t cause any trouble." He simply says, making you pout as he turns and walks away from you. You hobble over to a chair and sit yourself down at a table and make a few doodles in your journal as you wait for time to pass, it’s not long however before you start to get bored and fidgety, feeling the need to get up and do something. You slide off the chair and have a look around, something catches your eye and a mischievous look crosses your features…

"What did I not just tell you!?" He looks at you with strong annoyance. The bar fight behind you finally calming down.

"It’s not my fault this place can get boring, I was just trying to add a little more fun." You give a smile, a hint of deviousness still behind it.

"This is not your playground, this is a serious business." He groans, rubbing at his temples.

"Yeah and I’m bored, I wanna do something with my grandpa!" You hop in place, hoping he'd take a hint. His eye twitches a bit as he turns away from you, placing a hand to his forehead and taking a audible breath.

"I don’t know what's been placed in your mind but I've already discussed this. I am not Jester's father, and I’m certainly not your grandfather so just… stop!" It goes quiet between the two of you for a very long time, you shuffle off to the side and pull out a toy from your pack to mindlessly play with it, there was a strong question on your mind but decided it best to give the Gentleman some peace for a while to cool off first.

"Why do you act like you don’t want to be my mama's dad?" You ask suddenly, catching the Gentleman off guard from your softer tone.

"Wha… I… this is a very complicated subject I don’t think you’d quite understand." He says slowly, you let out a sigh.

"I pay more attention to some things then people think I really do, I’ve seen how you'd get this look of… I don’t know what to call it… sadness I guess, when mama would talk about wanting you to be with grandma again." You say, fiddling with the toy in your hands.

"See you don’t understand, I’m a wanted man and stepping into the public eye would cause trouble. So you see now, even if I did want to I couldn’t. Not that I care much anyways." He try’s explaining, while also trying to brush your to the side.

"Why are adults so dumb and hide their feelings so much." You’re now the one sighing in annoyance at him. "It’s like you’re scared of being your real self." You finish.

"I beg your pardon." The Gentleman looks at you, quite offended by your words. "Did you not hear what I just said? I am a powerful crime boss, with powerful connections and blood on my hands, wanted for so many different things."

"And you’re scared to be yourself." You say both nonchalantly and matter-of-factly, all while still playing around with the toy in your hands.

"I cannot believe I’m having this kind of conversation with a child. Why do you think I should care about what you say." He says, sounding irritated.

"Well, why did you bother to help me from my caretaker?" Finally, finally you make eye contact with him. "They weren’t completely wrong when they’d said I didn’t have anyone else, before I met Jester they were the only one I had. If you don’t care, why would you help me and not do your business stuff like you normally do?" A long silence falls between the two of you.

"You are something else." He starts, quietly. "I never would’ve guessed a normally spritely child could pick up on so much."

"I love having fun and exploring! But I can also notice things you adults don’t seem to, which is weird because it seems obvious to me." You mutter the last part more to yourself. He looks like he’s about to say something but you cut him off and quickly change the subject when you hear your stomach growl at you. "I’m hungry. Got any snacks?" He stares at you a second before placing a hand to his head, a more amused look on his face this time at your quick change in behaviour.

"Something else indeed." He mutters, before straightening his posture. "Very well, but you’ll have to assist me in something."

"Like what!?" Your eyes light up in excitement and curiosity.

"You said it yourself, you notice things we adults apparently cannot. I have caught wind of a mole amongst our ranks, with your observational skills and innocent charm perhaps you’ll be able to help identify them." He sounded much more relaxed, like some invisible weight just lifted away, if only just a little bit.

"Really? Cool! I know how to use Zone of Truth if you need it… wait no, Caleb's told me I can’t unless it’s like a really important thing."

"This is important, for me." He pauses a moment. "I won’t tell if you don’t." He adds, placing a finger to his lips, there's a minor hint of playfulness in his voice making you beam and nod. With that you not only got some tasty snacks but also got to spend some more time with the Gentleman, it was a win win. He certainly still held his formal face in front of everyone else because business is still business and there was the mole situation that you were helping sort out but he was able to drop some of that facade for you, though not by a lot. It was funny to you how stubborn grownup were, seeing how they’d always call you the stubborn one.

It may have taken up a day and a half but surprisingly your hunt for the mole was a lot easier then you thought, you sat in a separate room from the bar, set up a Zone of Truth spell and put on an sweet, innocent act so that those affected by the spell would quickly fall into a false sense of security around you and hopefully forget about the spell in general. You’d then ask specific questions the Gentleman had given you, paying as much attention to the person's actions and tone when they'd answer, even if they could only speak the truth that didn’t mean they could work around their words. Once you found someone suspicious they’d be brought elsewhere for further questioning, or at least that’s what you were told, as it turns out there were a few moles working together to try and bring down the Gentleman’s operations (red was looking pretty sus…… I’ll stop). You were just glad you could help, like your own little mission. Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was closer to 4 days the Nein return having completed their mission, without hesitation you run over and get swept up into a hug by Jester.

"Your back! How was it? Did you stop all the bad guys?" You bombard her with questions, she laughs and does her best to answer them as best as possible, leaving out anything you were too young to know about yet.

"What about you? How was your time here?" Jester asks you which you happily recount what you all did to her, pointing to a corner of the wall where you’d made some drawings for the Traveler making her smile. She secures her grip on you and the group starts to make their way out, but not before she looks over at the Gentleman. "Thanks for looking after them dad." She calls, he looks away and sighs.

"Yeah, It was a lot of fun. Thanks grandpa!" You also call.

"Please don’t call me that." He says, rubbing a hand down his face. You catch the slightest twitch of a smile on his face before it goes back to being neutral, you giggle at this, grownups really were weird.