#but won't warn you about the crushing emotional trauma they have in store for you

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Sometimes I read the brief Bad Batch episode descriptions on Disney+ and have to admire how they manage to be so far from reality while still technically stating the truth.

Examples:

The Outpost: "A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet."

Reality: You're gonna wish you didn't have a heart because it's going to shatter into pieces. Oh, and "harsh and unforgiving" doesn't just describe the planet, it also describes both a certain lieutenant and how you're going to feel about said lieutenant within 30 seconds of his introduction.

Plan 99: "The heroes are tested."

Reality: Oh, your heart has somehow started to heal with the hope Crosshair's going to be saved soon and the whole family is going to be reunited? Here, let us just take your heart out and crush it to powder and then set it on fire. You're not gonna need it anymore.