#but with the power of positive feedback i may be able to overcome my insecurity and post it all!! someday. haha

[celadonlonghorn]

not to mention all the comic ideas i have for how they feel about EACH OTHER >:)

now that i've finally posted some of the one-off comics of purple and peachy and people really like them (and i am SO SO THANKFUL for that!!!) i'm really excited to do more comics omg... there's sooo much stuff i want to explore. how they met, peachy's livestreams and what she does on them, why purple won't do turf war, how she feels about salmon run, the girls' interactions with my friend's pair of characters... its all really fun stuff

[backugo]

Sparring Partners

Character: Shinsou Hitoshi

Warnings:Little Angst, cheeky shinsou

Summary: As a Pro Hero Shinsou reminices over his high school crush. When he finally sees her grown into an amazing hero, hes wants to finally develop a connection.

Authors note: @shinaus​ @serokei​ Shoutout to my soulmate for giving me some amazing feedback. Thank you so much. 

Shinsou trains every.single.day. Since high school, he’s had a riding schedule of training sessions that push him past his limits, both physical and mental—waking up in the early mornings, always beating the sun to start a morning run followed by rigorous sparing with Aizawa and ending the day with hours of self-practice and meditation. It’s been six years since, and it’s formed into a necessary habit. Once this routine was an outlet that allowed him to overcome his quirk’s insecurities, but now it was something he prided himself in. His results weren’t instant, but they were blossoming on the battlefield. Aizawa has noticed his growing confidence and allows Shinsou to patrol the neighborhood on his own individually. As time goes by, Shinsou has gained potential in his future as an underground Pro Hero while keeping his high school friendships afloat. Denki and Midoriya being the ones who come over often, whether to eat or share stories of their latest achievements, are deemed his best friends. Every so often, he will come across his old school mates and give a couple of hellos or offer to buy them a drink, but one strange relationship he has yet to define was his, with you.

He wouldn’t call you both friends, as a friend is defined as a bond of mutual affection. His affection towards you was confusing. He always had a strong feeling, a pull of attraction towards you that was unexplainable. He admired your standing within the Hero community, but his interaction with you was minimal. Not for the lack of trying. Even in school, as he could do was watch you from the sidelines as you struggled to cope with the lack of power your quirk held. Your abnormality was called Immortality.

It allowed your body to regenerate any limb, heal any wounds, and filter any potions. Of course, you were able to recover relatively quickly, depending on the degree of injury, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t feel all the pain that comes with it. In the school tournaments, he’d watch as your arm was broke in four places before your opponent cracks your skull against the concrete floor. His heart halted before shattering in pieces watching your limp body pinned down and twisted like a broken rag doll. Your entire body returned to normal within three minutes, but he could tell your spirit crushed. You gained the nickname of the 'Human Punching Bag' from that day forward, the persona following you into your senior year.

He always wished he could help you, hold you close to him, and tell you everything would be alright, but he was no better. To this day, he regrets never standing by your side to be your supporter instead of a bystander. Every time he sees you, he’s shocked. You beam with newfound confidence, not unlike himself, but your new skills were subtle to the untrained eye. He approaches you whoever you’re near, but he never got more than the usual ‘Hello’ and ‘Goodbye.’ Shinsou did not know what to expect. You were an acquaintance of each other’s agencies, never spending more than ten minutes in the same room, yet he wanted so badly to change that. Your undeniable aura was intoxicating to him. He could sense you a mile away and wait in anticipation while you make your way towards him, only for you to ignore him altogether as you pass him by.

However, today he would attempt to establish a strong relationship with you. Denki took it upon himself (was a nosy and meddling friend) to dig around and informed Hitoshi that you always trained in room 10 of Aizawa agency to practice hand to hand combat. After hearing this unwanted material, he took this opportunity as a chance to get closer to you finally. As he stands in the doorway, watching you stretch your arm behind your head, he feels his chest tighten. The fear of rejection starts to loom over. If he messes up this chance, would you ever give him a second chance? It’s all or nothing at this point.

He fixes his tank top strap, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before walking towards you. "Good morning." He watches you turn towards the direction of his voice, giving a slight nod before returning to your original position. He crouches down next to you, dropping his capture weapon to his side. "Do you want to spar together?" His head tilts to the side, observing you as you relax and return his gaze. You shrug your shoulders, giving off a neutral stance on the question, but it was all he needed. He had your full attention, no outside forces to interrupt or take him away. He stands up and holds his hand out, a friendly gesture that pulls a confused stare from you. When Hitoshi realizes your apprehension, he nervously rubs the back of his neck, contemplating if he was pushing you past your limits. As he starts to pull his hand back, he’s startled as your soft fingers graze his palm. You lift yourself, looking at him with a little concern, a slight blush dusting your cheeks. "Did I do something?" He takes a step closer to you as his protective nature is suddenly switched on. "Is something bothering you- is someone messing with you?" The thought that there are still people bothering you, possibly pushing you into an awkward position, makes his blood boil. Such a quiet person, you always keep to yourself, who would dare to tarnish what little peace you try to give yourself. 

"No ones have ever done that before."

His concentration breaks, finally harboring the first complete sentence you’ve even uttered towards him. Your voice so soft and sweet, without a hint of malice. He would replay it over and over for the rest of his life. "Done what? Say good morning?"

You shake your head slowly, looking at the hands entwined together. "No ones ever wanted to touch me after seeing me regenerate my limbs in High School." Shinsou looks at your hand and smiles a little, feeling bold from your small admission. "As long as it’s you, id touch it all day long, no wait-" His realization has his hair stands up. You burst out laughing from Hitoshi's chaotic state. "I’m not saying I’d touch you like that, not that I don’t want to touch you. If you want, I will touch you in both ways, but-God I can’t shut up. You know what I mean! I don’t mind touching or being around you! Stop Laughing, God, I’m just digging myself into a hole." He messes up his hair in embarrassment as your laughs bounce off the walls. You're bending over, holding your stomach as your laughs become strained. He may have just made a fool out of himself, but to see you enjoying yourself, your warm giggles filling up the room, he couldn’t let another day go by without it. "Please, stop, I-I can’t breathe! My stomach hurts." You cry, lying on the ground letting a few strangled chuckles out. "I needed that, so badly. Thank you, Shinsou."Your hand rubs over your stomach before slowly sitting up and wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. Shinsou? He stands there in disbelief. You knew his name! His heart started to race when you look at him, a smile adorning your delicate features. "Will you be my sparring partner?" He nods excitedly, his eyes focused more on your happy state than the actual words. "I’ll tell you what, if you beat me, I will treat you to breakfast. However, I warn you. I’m 10x better than in high school. So you better come at me with all you g-" you cut yourself off as a vital fabric wraps around your wrist in a death grip. You shift the weight on your heels, pulling against the captured weapon in shinsou’s arm. If beating you guarantees another intimate moment alone, he won’t hold back any punches. Determination burns in his eyes as he bends down into a fighting stance. His muscles tense at your playful expression while a grin spreads across his face."Be careful what you wish for doll face."

[a-crimson-lion]

The Moms Of BNHA

[Warning: Spoilers and Potentially Triggering Opinions follow. You've been warned.]

[Also: Long Post.]

So, I've been thinking about this when I should be doing, homework (lol), but... can we talk about a certain trio of moms in BNHA?

Inko Midoriya

Inko is probably the least problematic mom I'll be talking about today. Does that make her perfect? Hell no! But she tries so hard for Izuku, and it shows. Even if she doesn't support Izuku's dreams of heroism once he's diagnosed as Quirkless, it's clear that she supported him in any other way she could think of. She's also worried about his well being, as we see after the mall confrontation and the aftermath of Kamino. And when she sees Izuku's dreams finally becoming a possibility after a lifetime of doubt, she apologizes, fully supporting Izuku's choice in life from there on out. Sure, after Kamino she considers pulling Izuku out of UA, but that's not from a place of selfishness or malice. It's out of worry. She wants her son to be happy, but she also wants him to be safe.

Honestly, I can't think of any legitimate reason to full on hate her...

Rei Todoroki

So Rei... gosh where do I begin?

She's definitely more problematic than Inko, or rather, her situation is. People tend to get on her case because she was apparently just as abusive to Shoto as Endeavor was, and-

Can... can we talk about this for a moment?

I understand that what Rei Todoroki did was wrong, end of discussion. I understand what Rei did only worsened the circumstances for her family, her son, and herself. I understand that while her institutionalization wasn't fair, it was likely for the best given her state of mind. But to put the blame squarely and soley on Rei's shoulders?

That's where I draw the line.

I only say this with the experience of a novice, but from personal experience, most people don't just randomly lash out spontaneously. In my case, it's usually a series of offenses (minor or major) that I refuse to respond to because I feel like that will make me a bad person, but that residual rage? It builds up. Sometimes you can let it out in minor spurts, but it's not enough. One day, one way or another, it will boil over. All that anger, all that frustration, all that rage will combust. You won't be able to stop it once it starts. You'll feel tense. You'll punch things, not caring whether you'll break them or they'll break you. When you get tired of that, you'll storm off into your room and angrily sob into your pillows, or yell/growl... or both. And when it's finally over, you'll still feel like crap. And it'll be a long while before it feels like you or anyone else can forgive yourself.

This is me anywhere from several months to several years. Rei Todoroki had to put up with Endeavor and his abusive behavior for about a decade.

Rei was abused, end of story. Rei's children were abused, either physically or neglectfully, end of story. We've seen Shoto's training. We've heard Endeavor hitting his wife and hearing her scream. People are not perfect. People are not invincible. To expect that someone like Rei could keep her head held high when it felt like the world was against her is like expecting a stone to say the same shape and size out in the open for thousands of years.

In the end, it all wears down.

Rei even knew this herself. She knew she was breaking down, and tried to call on her other family in order to stop something bad from happening. Too little, too late. Rei sees her son, the left side of her son, the side that her husband was responsible for, in a sense. She remembers all the beatings, all the physical and mental degradation against herself and her kids, and she snaps. She has finally had it with Endeavor, and in her fury, she pours boiling water against his face. Only it wasn't her husband's face. It was Shoto's. Her youngest child, her little boy, the one Endeavor was the most brutal to. The one she had wanted to live without fear of a beating.

And she just struck him without a second thought.

There's immediate remorse. Rei doesn't stew in her rage; the guilt overtakes her almost instantaneously. You could argue that trying to ice boiling water is not the best method of preventing a burn, but it's the intentions that matter here. From what I've heard, the scar could have been a lot bigger if Rei just stood there. Plus, I don't think it's necessarily common that people think 100% sanely when they're overcome by extreme emotion. Saying Rei was wrong for trying to soothe her son's burn even if it wasn't the best method is like getting made at a fireman for successfully putting a forest fire out, even of the trees are no longer living.

It's permanent damage, but would you rather deal with that, or something worse?

And just imagine how Shoto feels in all of this. There's sadness. There's betrayal. Of course some of it is directed at Rei, and deservingly so. The one person he felt he could trust basically just turned on him, seemingly out of nowhere. And yet... even though Shoto is a child, he's far from naive. He knows that Endeavor isn't a good person. He's heard his mother's cries, likely her arguments with his father, and he's even been a witness to Endeavor's abuse towards her. She may have done the deed, but for Shoto, the scar isn't his mom's fault. It's Endeavor's. He was the one who abused them, he was the one who took away their sense of happiness, of safety, he was the one who pushed them to the brink and then pushed them some more.

If he had just been a bit more considerate, a bit more reasonable, a bit more human, Rei's breakdown might have been delayed, if not outright nonexistent.

And can we just talk about the Rei/Endeavor parallels for a bit? Nowadays the manga readers are in the midst of Endeavor's redemption arc. I personally think that it's mildly problematic, but I will admit that it's probably better for Endeavor to not continue being a sorry excuse of a human being for the remainder of the series. That being said, I'd like to point out that Rei came first. Rei threw the first jab, and immediately felt remorse afterward. Shoto walked back into Rei's life, and she did not take that opportunity for granted. She spent the time shortly after her hospitalization trying to get better, and this is only more apparent when we see her for the rest of the series. As for Endeavor? His change in behavior was a lot slower. I'll admit that functionally speaking, he's a good hero, but as a person he's the scum of the Earth. He doesn't try self-evaluating after Shoto's fight with Izuku when Shoto says he only used his fire because he forgot about Endeavor. Even at Kamino, Endeavor is still an ass to All Might even though they have bigger things to worry about. And when he sees Small Might, exposed to the world? His first idea is to state that knowing he'd never catch up to All Might drove him to abusing his family.

Endeavor, buddy, that was your call. Not All Might's. Quite frankly, I don't think he's even aware of the BS you put your family through.

One of the few things that frustrates me about Endeavor's redemption is not that he has one; it's that under different circumstances, it wouldn't exist to begin with. Without All Might's retirement, without Endeavor forced into the spotlight as the new #1 Hero, there is no development on his part. I'd have the gall to say that Endeavor would still be a narcissistic asshole if All Might managed to hang on to his power for a while longer. Without the pressure of being #1 on his shoulders, Endeavor continues (in vain) to try and surpass All Might, or at least get Shoto to. He's still a good hero functionally speaking, but how long until his obsession starts to cloud his judgement? How long before the #2 Hero eventually slips up in his rage-fueled fervor?

I'll say it again: it's good that Endeavor is trying to change, but without any actual unprovoked self reflection on his part, it's not as impactful.

So to sum it up, I don't think Rei deserves all the hate she gets. She deserves to be held accountable for what she did, yes, but she's also a human being who was put into a mentally toxic position. It's a miracle she didn't snap sooner, and it's a miracle she's finally making progress with help from her kids.

Mitsuki Bakugo

And finally, the reason why I started down this train of thought.

I'm not even gonna try beating around the bush here: Mitsuki Bakugo is a bad parent.

Notice how I didn't say abusive. No, that does not mean I'm validating her. It just means I personally haven't seen or heard enough in the series thus far to justify whether she should be held on the same level as Endeavor, if not close.

I still have enough sense to see that she's not a good parent though. Far from it, actually.

So far we've only seem Mitsuki officially in a parent teacher meeting after Kamino, and a brief mention of her from Katsuki during the Remedial Course Arc. It doesn't paint a good picture. Right from the get go, her first scene is her hitting her son on the head and calling him weak. This isn't some slapstick or tough love, as some people will say. This is something entirely different, and it should tell readers two things.

Mitsuki is disconnected from her son.

Mitsuki is a carbon copy of her son.

Now take that second point with a grain of salt. People have said time and time again that Mitsuki is basically a genderbent Katsuki, which is accurate to a degree. She's also more mellowed out than Katsuki, as she can talk to other people without trying to assert her dominance. She's actually surprisingly aware of her son's superiority complex as well, but... For all that, it's obvious that Mitsuki isn't actually fully aware of her son's issues. Like her son, Mitsuki is also too focused on her son's brute strength. Calling him weak isn't some karmic justice for all the times Katsuki has said the same to other people; it's a feedback loop that feeds into Katsuki's insecurities, which feeds into his inferiority complex, which feeds into his superiority, which then repeats ad infinitum. You could argue that maybe Katsuki has acted too thick-skinned around his mom to let her actually get a feel for his problems, but I personally doubt that she's really tried to understand her son, or maybe she just... gave up.

And then there's Katsuki saying that he was raised with violence. "BUT CRIMSON, SHE HAS TO BE ABUSIVE IF SHE'S WILLING TO HIT HER KID, WhY cAn'T yOu AcCePt ThAt!?" Well, from what I learned, people can hit their kids and still? Not? Be abusers? Spanking used to be a thing, y'know, and while it's heavily controversial nowadays, I doubt that the good parents used it at the drop of a hat. Kids can be jerks; I was one. Back to Mitsuki, I doubt that this line meant from the day Katsuki had been four years old, his life had been hell. I feel like even if Mitsuki was still brash, she didn't immediately start beating on Katsuki when he started to get a big head. If anything, I'd assume she waited about two years at most before she started letting the fists fly. Keep in mind, almost everyone Katsuki meets admires him for his abilities. Who's to say his mom wasn't one of those people at the start? It wouldn't have been until Katsuki ego started becoming a noticeable issue that Mitsuki decided she needed to tale care of it. Only problem? Mitsuki makes bad decisions, just like her son. Resorting to physical violence and verbal taunts did nothing to help Katsuki, but it's what Mitsuki knew how to do, so she rolled with that. I'm not giving Katsuki a pass because of this, however. Shoto essentially went through the same thing, and his response was not to endlessly shout at others or display dominance. The violence targeted at the boys was brutal, but violence doesn't justify more violence. Katsuki may have had a convenient excuse to start being an ass to people, but so did Shoto. And yeah, "Earlyroki" was an ass, but at least it wasn't intentional.

Before I go, I just want to bring up really quick where Masaru falls into this. One could argue that Masaru's also to blame for how Katsuki turned out for not stepping in but... have you seen Mitsuki, or even Katsuki for that matter? No offense to Masaru, but he's kind of a doormat character. He only married Mitsuki due to her persistence, and while Masaru's "Oxidizing Sweat" quirk is likely destructive, Masaru himself is... not. He seems to be the exact opposite of his wife and son personality wise, only instead of canceling them out, his lack of dominance forces him to run for cover should a dark omen come about. We've seen what Katsuki's done to Izuku before UA. Masaru basically has to put up with two of those, and unlike our protagonist, he doesn't have the resilience to withstand that much anger.

So...

TL;DR. Inko Midoriya is a great mom who just wants her son to be safe and happy. Rei Todoroki cares a lot about her son and is willing to work to show it, even in the face of setbacks. Mitsuki Bakugo is a terrible parent who either needs to figure out what's wrong with her son properly, or leave to someone who can.

Thank you for your time.

-Crimson Lion (24 November 2019)

[aphrodicted]

Hi. I’d like to request a shell spread and will happily leave as much feedback as possible. Initials: GC, sun sign: Leo, question: I have a lot of confidence internally but I let some insecurities play over that, particularly in work settings. For example, I know that I am smart and hard working and yet I let insecurities shadow that and look for reassurance externally even when I don’t actually need it. What parts of me do I need to work on or change to get past this and let my confidence flow?

Hi, GC!

1. Who I think I am? Four of Pentacles (reversed), Four of Wands (reversed), Knight of Wands

You don’t describe yourself as a person at all happy today. I think this situation is making you something unhappy, since you can’t shine everything you should shine. Don’t worry, GC, this is a temporary situation that has a solution. I see you, also, celebrating very little with friends or family. Are you going out less with your friends or other people? I see you locked in yourself on some occasions. You aren’t too secluded, but neither do you lock yourself for too long.

Being a fire sign, you can be someone very impulsive and doesn’t plan what you want to do. You are someone passionate, although at the moment I don’t see so much passion in you, and you must have confidence in you. Especially, Leo you are people with a lot of perspective for the future if you are able to balance the ego. Balance those fears that are drowning your security, GC!

2. Who I really am? Two of Cups, Three of Swords, Ten of Swords

You are someone full of love. A person who wants to receive and deliver love from others. My cards consider you someone who is easy to make friends, meet people, partner with co-workers and/or studies… Have you had any kind of betrayal in the past that has marked you? It doesn’t have to be a romantic betrayal, but it can be a betrayal or disappointment by friends, family… The cards are very aware of some pain that has marked you a lot and there may be the core of all your insecurities. If you have not suffered any disappointment, the cards may be talking about yourself. At present you may be betraying yourself by not having security in yourself or in your abilities. Lastly, don’t worry, GC. The situation is temporary and the solution is in your hands, but you must find what to do to end it. You may feel somewhat tired of living this, but the happy ending is very close.

3. How others see me? Three of Wands, Five of Swords (reversed), The Hermit (reversed)

The others see in you a lot of learning ability, your desire to always know more, and you are someone intelligent who knows how to use the acquired knowledge. Also, those around you see you as a wise person and that you can give good advice. On the other hand, those around you think that you are a person who looks to the future and that, in addition, this future of yours is successful. The others view you as someone who doesn’t like fighting with others and doesn’t play dirty when yo want to get something.

4. What I contribute to others? The Tower, Five of Pentacles (reversed)

You are able to deliver success and recovery to others. I don’t know if you’re aware, but you can “heal” people. I don’t feel it is in an emotional way, but a social success or helping them achieve what they want. You are someone who creates opportunities for others. Getting to know you means new beginnings. You are someone who brings change or renewal in others. You “force” them to renew themselves and leave the past behind to make way for the future.

5. What should I accept about myself? The Star, The Chariot

Accept the moment you are living in this moment. I find you very insecure, unstable and you don’t see possible recovery to your situation. You may be believing that your life has stagnated and you don’t know how to get out of the moment you are. The first thing you should do is accept what you are living and not block the pain or insecurity you feel. It isn’t the same to accept and seek a solution to negative feelings or emotions that block them and make it appear that we don’t feel them. It will be useless to try to change if the inner transformation you must do is not sincere. 

Check what motivates you to do what you are doing right now: Are you happy? What you do makes you really happy? Would you change something of your life? It’s necessary to accept that everything changes, be filled with courage and patience and be guided by the signs of the universe. The instability that manifests you leads to fatigue, depression and stagnation. With which you cannot free yourself from fears and dependencies, nor achieve true realization. Therefore, you must accept instability and look for the solution to it.

6. What do I need to forgive myself? The Desire (reversed), Knight of Cups, The Emperor (reversed)

Don’t force yourself in those moments where you cannot become a leader or take the initiative. On some occasions we must respect our insecurities and look deeper into what motivates us to find ourselves in this situation. If you ask me what is causing this feeling in you, I think it’s a mixture between lack of leadership and self-confidence caused by the lack of passion in what you do. You must find a balance between logic and emotions. What do I mean? This problem cannot be solved only from logic, but you will need the use of emotions to accept the negativity around you and put an end to it. Don’t take this situation personally, but learn from what is happening. Therefore, forgive yourself for finding yourself so “weak” right now, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

7. What should I learn from the past? Nine of Wands

You must learn to heal the wounds of the past, GC. You still need strength and energy to overcome the struggles that await you in the future. The conflicts of the past can continue to appear in your present, and you must be alert to be able to put an appropriate end. However, don’t be too alert. Don’t believe that everyone approaches to fight or that everything that happens to you is to hurt you. It’s important to get rid of insecurities that were born in your past. The insecurities that persecute you now have their beginning in the past. You could have gone through a difficult situation that caused these insecurities. We must find what happened and solve these insecurities and limits that you provoke yourself. It could be a situation, a person… you are the only one who can know.

The cards recommend you balance your inner energy: meditate, pray, read, seek peace and quiet to find the answers inside. You have the strength to get what you want.

8. Positive points about myself? Ace of Cups, Six of Swords, Six of Wands

My cards see several positive points about you, GC! You are a person who carries success under his arm. Everything you intend to do you get, so you shouldn’t have any kind of insecurity when it comes to life. In the end, you are the only one who can create obstacles to achieve the happiness you want. You have the success within you and you must be the one who gives you permission to return to your life. Also, my girls represent you as a person capable of sacrificing you for what you love (both people and dreams). However, be careful, GC! Sacrifice is necessary to achieve success, but don’t sacrifice yourself too much. Just sacrifice for what you think is important. Finally, my cards tell me that you are someone capable of using your emotional side correctly. That emotional side can help you connect more deeply with others and with yourself. On the other hand, my girls recommend that you use that emotional side to create art. Let the imagination fly!

9. What should I improve on myself? The Moon, The Strenght, Four of Cups (reversed)

Pay attention to your dreams and their messages, so that you know or recognize your shadow and prepare for the necessary change. Sometimes it is very difficult, if not impossible, to decipher the messages of the unconscious, because we try to do so with the logic of the conscious side of the mind and both levels speak different languages. The unconscious may seem capricious or meaningless. It is expressed in images, emotions and feelings that belong to us, even if we do not recognize.

Do a creative, psychotherapeutic or mystical work to unleash what your subconscious mind wishes to reveal. Recognize the fears, resentments or pride that stop you or set you back. You are in an intensely emotional and sensitive period. You can feel receptive. You should not force anything in this cycle. Let things happen and watch. From your inner jurisdiction you will know when to act.

More than “physical strength”, we speak of “mental strength” and is the ability you have to manifest the mastery of reason, and even of the spirit, over the passions, emotions and thoughts that limit you and consume your energy. The Force reminds us that we achieve more with gentleness and prudence than with imposition and authoritarianism. The keys are in our inner clarity, decision, perseverance and authority.

10. How to become the person I want to be? Queen of Wands, Ten of Cups, Seven of Swords

Turn the skills of the Queen of Wands into yours. Trust yourself and be true to your emotions and convictions. That doesn’t mean that you don’t listen to the opinions of others, but that you defend your experiences with conviction and know how to get the good out of everything around you and help you grow.

Find what and who makes you happy and set aside everything that causes you otherwise. Don’t waste energy in living with people who don’t contribute anything or waste your time doing things that do not cause any feeling in you. You have a very strong attraction power and you should know how to take advantage of it: use the power of the law of attraction.

11. Advice: Ocean of eternal love: Healing, creativity, fertility.

It’s said that love conquers everything, and this is especially true for you right now. Something is resolved and healed thanks to love. What was once arid now becomes fertile. A seed is planted and you are the co-creator. The conditions are favorable, the weather is perfect, a new creation awaits you. The birth of something new gives you joy and excitement. The endless changes of this season of eternity turns its invisible wheel and a new cycle begins. A new image is born.

Love heals. Love brings determination. Love conquers. Love creates. Love is eternal

Good luck, GC!

Please consider leaving feedback to know whether or not my reading has resonated with you.

[xxruinaxxmcu]

Gates of Glory, part 20

previous part

Peace was unnatural. At least it was to me. Thor had gone, to seek answers. Answers he could never find. The infinity stones. The things that wanted to collect them. Where can one start if the things lay far beyond what we imagined the universe to be?

We grew up believing that we knew and ruled the universe. The nine realms. That there were creatures outside this… bubble – it seemed impossible. Why did Odin not conquer them? Did he know about their strength? If he did, why did he not ever mention them, even after the infinity stones started to reappear?

"You look worried."

Y/N looked at Loki. It was one of the few moments they could talk without him being the Allfather.

"I am", Y/N replied flatly and looked at the horizon, "I do not believe that this is peace of a long duration."

"What do you fear? Thor returning? He will not-"

"I do not fear your brother", Y/N interrupted and looked at the man behind her, "he may be the godly equivalent of a rock, but he is not evil. You can argue – you can reason with him."

"Then what is it?", Loki's grin was washed of his face as he raised an eyebrow.

"There are six infinity stones. Just six. And four of them – The Tesseract, the Sceptre, the Aether and the Eye of Agamotto have appeared either on Midgard or on Asgard. What are the odds? They have not shown up in millennia – apart from the Tesseract. That necklace has been inactive for centuries", Y/N carefully watched Loki's expression that turned to stone, to a mask in front of her.

"You believe someone is after them?"

Y/N laughed dryly: "Believe is such a weak word. Come on."

He just looked at her without saying a 'smart' remark.

Y/N sat on the windowsill and sighted. Then she said: "I have no idea what they did to you when they had you. And I am not ever going to ask you to tell me. But I do know one thing. You are strong. The power that they hold – without all the stones – is a force we have not ever encountered before. I doubt Odin knows about this. The gauntlet Odin keeps in his volt cannot be the true one. It has the stones in it already. But we know that they are not in our possession. The tales about this weapon of infinite power – they must be more than a tale. The question is: Is there a real one? And if so, is it in the possession of the one that wishes to collect the stones?"

Loki shook his head and pressed his lips together: "If Odin does not know, it could not have happened. He almost killed himself by hanging from Yggdrasil's branches to gain the knowledge of the nine realms."

"That is", Y/N jumped from the windowsill, "exactly what I believe. There are more than the nine realms. There must be. Where else did the guys that controlled you come from? Certainly, they would not have been able to avert our watch – Heimdall's eyes, for millennia. They are not necessarily… inconspicuous."

"So", his voice was filled with tension, "What's your grand scheme?"

"First of all", Y/N replied dryly and looked him in the eye, "You must overcome your… issues with Thor. Yes, he was the favourite child, yes, he was a reckless fool and unfit to be king, that's all correct." She paused for a second, then added, "But he is your brother. Adopted, I do not care. But if I am right, and those creatures are from outside the nine realms, it is not about Vanaheim, Asgard or Jotunheim, it is not about Laufey or Odin. Not about Thor or you. You belong to Asgard, so do I." She took his hand: "We both swore that oath, to protect Asgard and to protect the nine realms. And if we want to fight an enemy of foreign nature, we cannot allow our own people, our own rows to lay in disarray. We must stand united if we want to stand a chance."

His eyes wandered through the room, into the empty space surrounding them. Y/N watched his expression carefully as she let go of his hand.

"It is not just about Thor", Loki finally spoke, "It never was." His voice was surprisingly calm, but there was a hollowness within it that Y/N barely recognised. His eyes came back to her as he added: "What is a being that grew up, was shaped by nothing but lies? Beautiful deceptions and illusions?"

Y/N bit her lower lip and sighted quietly: "You are all the things you were told. All of them." She paused, but quickly added: "You are not of Asgardian descend. Not an Asgardian god. You are a frost giant. Laufeyson. The rightful king of Jotunheim. But you are also Odinson, son of Frigga and Odin. You share none of their DNA but look at your skills, the way you talk. You do resemble them. You are of Asgard, but you do not hold Asgardian blood."

"You make it sound so easy", he spoke quietly.

"Because it does not matter. Not to me. Even if you were Asgardian, I'm not. Not really. And that never mattered, either", Y/N reached in her pocket, "Take this."

She handed him a small, insignificantly looking dagger. He raised an eyebrow, but before Loki was able to say anything, she added: "It looks useless. It is not. There are powerful runes engraved that only few people know. They are from Vanaheim, only our best magicians knew their meanings. It is a spell – a trick, actually."

Loki touched the almost invisible runes on the shaft of the dagger and Y/N went on to say: "In case you were to be attacked, this is your one-way ticket out. You cannot help anyone but yourself on the battlefield with this. It transvers the owner to a place in Vanaheim. A place I can access."

"And get me out?"

"That would be the plan. Meaning: We cannot fight together. That would hold the risk of you being stuck there. I will try to gather all the forces, knowledge, anything I can get from the nine realms to make sure that our army is as ready as it possibly can be. And that's where you come in", Y/N looked at him sternly: "Make Thor king. We need a leader that can unite the army. And Odin is not undisputed anymore. We cannot risk that. Furthermore, I am positive Thor will – sooner or later – accept your council."

For several seconds, Loki said nothing. His eyes looked at the sky outside. Y/N prayed that he could swallow his pride this one time.

"Fine. However, regarding Thor: I will do as you wish, but let me do it my way. I do not want him to know about you. You harvest all the strength you can find in the nine realms, I will do the rest. He must believe that this was all my scheme and my scheme alone. Until the alien armies appear, at least. Because it that does not happen that way, he might want you dead, too", Loki said and Y/N only nodded.

"Fine."

.......................................................

It was a strange night. Full of insecurity, of anxiety. But of determination and passion, too. It was the only way. Both of them knew that. These monsters had to be stopped, come hell or high water.

"I will go now", Y/N said quietly. Loki looked like he thought about kissing her goodbye, but she brushed it off: "Please, do not." She almost laughed: "In my village, a kiss like that was a kiss of death. Before you died because of treason or crime. We will once this fight is truly done."

"That day may never come", he said – in all seriousness, for once.

"Do not die. And I promise, I will not, too. I have to admit though, my record is cleaner than yours – I have not ever died before", Y/N said with a smile.

"Well", Loki grinned, "You are not the god of mischief, are you?"

"Good luck", Y/N said and her smile faded, "You will need it."

I am sooooo sorry this took MONTHS!!! Finished school, got into uni, in the process of moving to another Country to do so hahahaah life is great. Feedback is always LOVED

@ultrarebelheart @adidabach @aqswdefrgthzjukilop @bluev0dk4 @inselaire @sshayynna @wolfwithabook @kate218203  @jessialchihomie @rebbie444 @clouded-water @donttalktomewhenimreading @wanna-see-my-lease

[heathergoffrier]

You Know What To Do. Here’s How To Gain Confidence In Your Own Parenting

Being a mom is hard these days. Gain confidence with these Top 10 keys to fighting comparison, eliminating negativity and being your best self! Plus get access to the "5 Days to Positive Thinking" email challenge. Click here to learn more This is the seventh post in the New Mom Encouragement Series! Be sure to check out the other posts below!

Being a mom these days is way beyond wearing all the hats. It's like all the hats plus being a live-in butler and maid to the small people, but never getting any feedback from your fellow "butlers and maid" friends who have similar jobs down the street. No feedback, no comparison, no "am I doing this right?" assessments by watching your mom friends get their own kids to sleep through the night or get out the door in less than 10 minutes.  A lack of comparison is good, right? It can be, but where are you getting your confidence from now? Is your sense of self feeling strong, or just left confused now about how to switch from swaddle to sleep sack, and is he ready to start solids, and if so which type...?  OR maybe you're getting all your advice and affirmation on Facebook or the Insta.  Wherever you're getting it, we spend so much time giving, serving, loving and taking care of others, it’s hard to know if we’re doing enough or doing it right. It can be discouraging when we feel like we don’t measure up or we’re failing our families somehow, even though we love them with every ounce of our being, through every late night feed and every extra mile we go for them. We are our own worst critic and we often fall into comparison with other moms who seem like they’re doing it “better.” Today I want to encourage you that you are ENOUGH. You can learn to be confident in your mom skills and stop the comparison. You don’t have to be like anyone else. God created you to be YOU.

The Top 10 Ways To Gain Confidence In Your Own Parenting

Here are the best ways to gain confidence so you can parent within your own personality, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and feel confident in who you are as a mom!

1- Stop Comparison

Be the best YOU you can be, not the best someone else. You were made to be you. If another mom does it differently, so be it. If you think she does it better, does that even matter? Just do YOUR best. We are all in this together. I recently sifted through some false ideas that made me think I wasn't a good mother. It's easy to think everyone else is rocking it and you're the only one stumbling through motherhood. But that's not true. We're all stumbling in our own ways. So we can learn from other moms, but put your blinders on when what they're doing starts making your feel less-than. RELATED: 5 MYTHS THAT KEPT ME FROM FEELING LIKE A GOOD MOTHER

2- Tune Out Hurtful, False, and Negative Voices

Speaking of blinders, we might also need ear plugs. Ask yourself: Who or what are you listening to? Who are you letting have power over you? We get so many negative messages into our minds, we have to take care to tune them out. If you want to level up with this, be sure to check out my free "5 Days To Positive Thinking" email challenge. Click here to learn more

3- Gain Confidence When You Forgive Others

When we don’t forgive others, we are giving them power over us. We allow their actions to continue to wound us over and over in our minds because we won’t release it to God. But the person who hurt you can’t go back and undo it. Even if they apologize, repair things as much as they can, give you money, or anything else, they can’t go back in time and make it “un-happen.” Forgiving means canceling the debt they owe you. They can’t repay you, so release them from owing you-- i.e. forgive them-- and allow God to redeem your situation. He can bring so much peace, love, and beauty back into our lives when we let go!

4- Forgive Yourself For Your Mistakes

Just as we need to forgive others, we need to forgive ourselves. As mentioned above, we can’t undo the past. We can make amends as much as possible, but only God can redeem and bring beauty from the ashes of our failures. He forgives us, so we need to forgive ourselves as well. RELATED: 7 WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR WOMEN ON HOW TO THRIVE AS A MOM

5- Find a Tribe That Builds Your Self-Confidence

A community of friends is life-giving and brings confidence as we learn from each other and support each other. But it's hard to find girlfriends like that. When you know the 8 most important skills to make friends as adult, you can step out and start finding a few gal pals to grab coffee with, vent about being stuck at home, and sigh with relief when someone understand and laughs at your jokes. You can find help for making friends as an adult in my "Making Friends" series, starting here: Want To Make Friends? Here's The Good And Bad News

6- Heal The Inside Before Focusing On Outward Appearance To Gain Confidence

Beauty starts on the inside. In my 20s, I weighed 25lbs over what I felt was a good weight for me, but I couldn’t lose the weight. I felt insecure, had a lot of external stress on top of it all, and I was using food to make me feel better. When I started focusing on getting healthy in my mind and spirit, I gained confidence and learned to process my emotions and stress in a healthy way. My struggle with appearance diminished and I was able to lose weight easily because I was getting healthy on the inside. Health and beauty on the outside is a direct expression of what's going on inside. So start there!

7- Learn Your True Identity And Cling To It

Get your true identity from what God says about you and not from what your friends, enemies, family or even your spouse say about you. Even Jesus, when he was praised by the crowd, did not entrust himself to them. People may say good or bad things about us. We need to learn our true identity from God and let what HE thinks of us guide our decisions and our confidence who we are. RELATED: HOW TO LIVE IN YOUR TRUE IDENTITY (AND HELP YOUR KIDS TO AS WELL)

8- Parent In Line With Your Personality

What do you like? What are you good at? Are you a planner or more spontaneous? The more we get to know ourselves and what makes our days go smoothly, the more we can parent from our comfort zone. This goes back to stopping comparison too. Don’t do what someone else is doing just because they’re doing it. Figure out if it actually works for you and your family. Are you an infant sleep schedule person, or more of a free spirit? From there you of course can start to watch your child grow and help them follow their own passions and identity, but you have to know your own first. RELATED: AVOID THESE 7 NEWBORN BABY SCHEDULE MISTAKES

9- Take Time To Learn And Grow Your Mom Skills

None of us know what we’re doing as moms at first. Some moms may have more experience with kids based on their childhood, career, or interests, but I'm pretty sure we’re still all that wide-eyed new mom bringing our newborn home and thinking “It’s on me to keep this baby alive now?!” It’s important to keep learning and growing as moms. Every stage brings new challenges and we need tools to deal with each one. Keep learning and your confidence will grow through every stage. You can use my Ultimate Newborn Sleep Guide to grow your mom skills to help baby sleep through the night-- oh what an amazing thought!

10- Gain Confidence By Remembering That YOU Are Unique And Created For A Reason

You are ENOUGH. You don’t have to be like anyone else. God created you to be YOU, and He wants to bring you joy and Himself glory through you being your true self. And being “your best self” doesn’t mean being perfect. It means that we hold on to who He made us to be-- our gifts, talents, personality, life situation-- and allow Him to work through us there and lead us further into what He is calling us to do as moms and as individuals. A wise mentor of mine once told me, “The grass glorifies God because it’s green.” I love this because sometimes when we wish we were “more,” we can rest in the fact that by being who God made us to be, we are glorifying Him. That is truly something we can rejoice and gain confidence in!

You Know What To Do

So when you feel like you don’t measure up or you're failing your family somehow, look over this list again. Let it remind you that you are doing your very best, and that's enough. You can stand tall even when you made a mistake, because your identity doesn't come from your ability to change a diaper, nurse, and pay insurance bills all at the same time. It comes from who God made you to be. And when you live within that framework, you'll know how to parent your kiddo with confidence.

If you want to learn how to focus on nuggets of truth and positivity instead of the raging trolls and Debbie Downers you come across, start the "5 Days to Positive Thinking" email challenge. Click here to learn more

The "New Mom Encouragement" Series

This is the seventh post in the New Mom Encouragement Series! Be sure to check out the other posts below! 7 Words Of Encouragement For Women To Overcome Feelings Of Failure 5 Myths That Kept Me From Feeling Like A Good Mother  I Thought God Couldn’t Hug Me (And 3 Other Silly Things I Believed)  How To Live In Your True Identity (And Help Your Kids To As Well)  How To Find Contentment In God (As A Tired Mom)  7 Important Ways To Take Care Of Yourself First As A New Mom You Know What To Do. Here’s How To Gain Confidence In Your Own Parenting (this post) To My Girls Who Get Mommy’s Leftovers When I Help Your Two Sisters  18 Simple Ways For Busy Moms To Make A Difference Read the full article

[modelccmarie]

Underneath the Model: Body Positive Photoshoot

WOW WOW WOW!!!! Today was an incredible blessing. In a world where body shaming, sexualizing, and overall everyday bullying is so prevalent; it is so very nice to spend 5 hours with people that make the world seem like a completely different place. What am I talking about? Well, I'm a full figured model - today was a body positive photoshoot filled with nothing less than love, support, and overall inspiration. Being someone in the category as "full-figured", you could probably imagine the fight between what people call beautiful and how you see yourself... My whole life I fought with myself about my confidence. The way I viewed myself was never positive until about 4 years ago... Even so, I've been on a journey of self discovery ever since realizing - "you know what, i am beautiful - i don't need to put myself down any longer". (that's a whole other blog - go to www.celestialfrequencies.com and scroll to Stop Internal Body Shaming and Embrace the Inner You because you want to read it and see the pictures with it) In my steps toward self-acceptance in the last 4 years, I've gone through bouts of depression, fights with friends, bullying, awkward looks, but so so so many overcomings and laughs that make up for all the rest. During this journey I have really focused on my self-talk and the way i view myself. Honestly, nothing else matters. The only important thing in life is the way you view yourself. This view could set you back or drive you forward. Too many people sit in a funk that can drive them further into a hole of self-doubt and misery. WHYYYYYY is this acceptable?! I have made a point in my life to do everything in my power in the NOW and defeat my own negative self talk and help others realize they can leave their own behind. One of the biggest things helping me in this movement internally and for others is the beginning of a very inspirational and body positive modeling career. If you've followed me at all, you know I am just getting started. The main purpose of me beginning this is to really reaching within myself and becoming more powerful in my own eyes. However, there is so much more than that. This world NEEDSSSS people to step up and say, "you know what - FUCK IT - i AMMM beautiful and I'm going to do this thing... no matter how many times i was called the chubby kid, an oompah loompah, and the fat kid... because i know i have it in me!" Modeling all came to me through my first blog on this subject (link posted in the first paragraph). My childhood wasn't the funnest as i struggled with weight and appearance my whole life. I came along to a photoshoot with a very great friend of mine and was introduced to the Urban Eye Candi family run by photographer Dan Warren (@Iam_honja on Instagram). WHAT A GUY! Seriously, in like point two seconds i was beyond comfortable and able to be myself in front of this wonderful, supportive man. Which, obviously, wasn't the easiest thing for me at times (yay social anxiety due to overwhelming insecurity). The blog I was writing was about how i am overcoming my self-doubt and what had changed within me. The point of going with my friend was to meet Dan and shoot some pictures for my blog to help inspire me. I had no idea what magic was about to come out of that evening. With inspiring friends and gorgeous photos, I opened up and blossomed in front of the camera. I had so much fun just playing around and being myself when i was originally so nervous. This night geared me up for the release of my blog and uplifted me further into believing i can take these steps to uplift others around me. Upon the launch of my blog, i was honored with positive, touching feedback that made my heart glow. People were really touched and it made me want to push further to bring myself up to the person that could really inspire people. A few months later and here we are. I have officially decided to move forward and be the strong role-model I've dreamed of being. On July 20, 2017, i made the decision to start moving toward a full figured modeling career; something i never thought i could even try. Since my decision, i have been embraced with love and support from my modeling community and it just drives my passion even further. That night i was introduced to something i could grow with internally and truly spread my message. The message that you really can do anything - no matter how impossible you may think it is. You really can feel differently about yourself, no matter how down in the dumps you were before. Today, July 29, 2017; I had the pleasure of working with 4 fantastic photographers and 10+ other models. Walking into Studio 52, you are filled with excitement as you walk through various hallways and rooms set up for epic photo backgrounds and effects. But that isn't even where the magic lies. During a photoshoot like the one today - people share a certain kindness you may not see at other shoots. This was a body positive shoot, after all. Models helped each other, shared clothing, and gave advice and complements as others posed. What a wonderful scene to be apart of. Everyone was able to laugh, dance, and just be themselves to the fullest. This is what modeling is all about for me. Building a positive community that is filled with love, sincerity, and sexy body art through the lenses of a camera! I really cannot wait to see what the body positive issue of GEI: The Alternative looks like because i KNOW it will embrace all the value and magic presented in this shoot. Be sure to follow @model_ccmarie . @gei_thealternative . and @iam_honja on Instagram for more modeling and the next issues of GEI: The Alternative Magazine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[grownupjobs-blog]

Rose Bartu

What do you do/Who are you in the world?

I am Rose Bartu, an Austrian-American violinist, singer/songwriter, producer and change maker/social entrepreneur.

What made you go down this path? What motivates you the most to do what you do? Why?

I was inspired to learn the violin when I was 7 years old hearing my older brother play the violin. When I was 12 years old I knew I wanted to become a professional musician to inspire people around the world with my music. I grew up in the Austrian Alps with 5 siblings in a small town with 3,500 inhabitants, so I had no idea how to make that happen. But it was a strong desire in my heart. I also knew I wanted to create change in the world, because my environmental activist parents inspired me and raised us with a lot of compassion for people around the world, who were much less fortunate than us.

What’s an important skill to practice on and off the job? What are the most crucial pieces of knowledge to possess in your field?    

What I find most important as an independent artist is the skill to keep learning and growing not just as an artist – I have been taking voice lessons for the last 15 years – but also as an entrepreneur. I have invested in business coaching, personal transformational work, social media trainings, music business trainings and taught myself how to use professional recording software, video editing software and so on. I have learned to outsource, hire virtual assistants, top producers… It is also crucial to always have a mentor, who can give you guidance along the path.

I believe it is most important to understand that we have to keep adjusting our path and need to be open to all input and feedback, yet in the end have to trust ourselves and our own heart to stay truthful and authentic. I believe that is especially important as an artist, because we represent our brand, our message out into the world.

What were the major struggles you overcame/are still going through as part of your chosen career path or on the way to becoming who you are? 

My major struggle I had to overcome was that I didn’t feel emotionally supported by my mum for my chosen path. When I was a teenager she tried to talk me out of becoming a musician. She wanted me to become a medical doctor instead. I was afraid of her reaction when I told her I wanted to go to NYC after I unexpectedly fell in love with the city. Her reaction was not positive, and since I moved to the USA (from Austria) I had to hear for many years “when are you coming back”? I feel very close to my family, so being so far away can be quite a challenge. One thing I am most proud of is that I kept following and trusting my heart, because in the end that’s all I have to make sure I stay true to myself.

I still feel I am far from my potential as an artist. Another major struggle is the fact that in music there is no direct correlation between your talent and effort producing financial success. I have invested a lot of my money I made by teaching music and playing all kinds of different gigs into several records I produced and released, and I have not yet made the money back with my own music. It takes a whole lot of persistence and perseverance to keep going. I truly believe most artists don’t achieve success because they give up too early. You have to become very resourceful, especially as an independent artist. There was a time when I promised myself if I “didn’t make it” by a certain age I would have to find an alternative. When I reached that age I came to terms with it another way, I just realized this is who I am, and it doesn’t matter if I ever will live off my musical creations or not. I will never stop writing songs, recording them and performing.

What are your most favorite aspects of your career? 

In my career I create everything from nothing, literally. I don’t have a role model, or do you know an alternative pop artist, who sings, plays the violin, writes her own songs, is a change maker, comes from Austria and lives in NYC… I have my own story to share, my own vision to make a difference in the world, and I get to create that and manifest it in the world! That is very exciting! In addition I get to reinvent myself consistently, which keeps me on my toes and keeps me searching for new ways, answers and solutions. I also create my own schedule, pick and choose the musical work I do, get to travel internationally, meet new and amazing people all the time… It’s ever evolving.

What are the least favorite aspects?

The least favorite aspects are my sense of insecurity. I have no regular income, I have no job benefits, pension funds etc… in addition I grew up in Austria, where everyone is taken care of and has health insurance. I always found ways to have that for myself, yet I don’t feel like I have a safety net. It may also have something to do with the fact that I have no family in this country. Rather than saving for retirement, like most people do, I have been investing all my money right back into my music. So when I unexpectedly had to move out of my last apartment after 12 years while I was waiting for my new one to move in (which wasn’t guaranteed as well), I had to put all my stuff into storage and lived on people’s couches and slept in one of my friend’s apartment on pillows on the floor. I moved 9 times for 52 nights and was lucky enough that I was able to ask so many friends for help. I had to find out Americans are not used to those kinds of requests. It was very humbling. And at the same time possibly one of my biggest blessings. I was very creative during that time, wrote nearly a new song every day and even prepared for a big show at the celebrated Blue Note venue in NYC. No one knew…

What are some things you wish you’d done differently and what are some things you wish you learned earlier than you did?

There are no things I can think of that I wished I had done differently. I moved out at 14 to study violin in the city at the university while still in high school living on my own. That forced me to grow up really quickly. I had no time to mess around or live a normal teenage life. I had to take care of myself, buy my own groceries while doing all school work and being a full time university student. That prepared me for when I moved to NYC at age 22 all by myself. It took me 2 years to get ready for that, because I had to raise a lot of money. Again, that prepared me to become resourceful to continue creating my dream life. Since I moved to a whole new culture and had no one in my family to guide me to build an entrepreneurial life I had to learn by doing. I didn’t have anyone to finance my endeavors and did mostly everything based on my own will power. I wished I learned earlier to believe that I deserve to be supported. And that my vision called Freedom Around The World was worth it to also get financial backing! I am still working on creating investors and sponsors! 

What makes for a healthy work/life balance?

I believe it is crucial to have a healthy work/life balance. Your body can put up with a lot in your 20s, but that truly changes in your 30s. Your focus on health and well-being becomes more and more important. I believe strong friendships and relationships to your family are most important to maintain! They will hold you up in difficult times, even if they are not around, like in my situation. I grew up eating very healthy and kept that habit, as well as with a lot of physical activities (skiing, biking, hiking etc.). Even though I live in NYC, I bike as much as possible, it is how I still mostly commute. Sleep is most important to balance stress, something I still work on!

What routines work for you?

I need to have regular time for meditation and prayers. That is most important for me to keep a strong foundation and to not get lost in all of the intricate things of my life. And all the disappointments I experience on a regular basis. I try out new things consistently, and I get tons of Nos, no answers or denials, way more than positive ones. I cannot take those personal, and still often do. Simply because my music is so personal to me, the songs are my own life experiences. I pour all of my heart and soul into them. That helps me to stay balanced.

How did you manage your time outside of school such that would set you up powerfully for your chosen career (internships/extracurriculars/informal education etc.)?

I was already working and playing performances as early as 13 years old. Since I took music seriously by age 12, it became much more important than school. So I had to simply become very efficient with my school work and studies to find a few hours each day to practice my instrument in addition. That lead to me starting to plan my days early on. Still to this day planning out in advance how much time I spend on what and what I need to get accomplished in a certain amount of time is one of my biggest strengths.

In one sentence, what makes you happy? 

What makes me happy is to be creative in the studio, express myself on stage, mentor leaders and young adults and to empower all people around me!

www.rosebartu.com

www.freedomaroundtheworld.com

[trendingnewsb]

Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It Step-By-Step)

Nobody enjoys failing. Fear of failure can be so strong that avoiding failure eclipses the motivation to succeed. Insecurity about doing things incorrectly causes many people to unconsciously sabotage their chances for success.

Fear is part of human nature. As an entrepreneur, I faced this same fear. At times, I forgot that who I was wasn’t what I did. My ego and identity became intertwined with my work, and when things didn’t go as planned, I completely shut down. I overcame this unhealthy relationship with fear, and I believe that you can too.

Together we’ll examine how you can use failure to your advantage instead of letting it run your life. We’ll look at what a fear of failure is, where it comes from, and how to overcome it so that you can enjoy success in your work and life.

What is fear of failure

Fear causes you to avoid potentially harmful situations. Fear of failure keeps you from trying, creates self-doubt, stalls progress, and may lead you to go against your morals.

What causes fear of failure? Here are the main reasons why fear of failure exists:

Patterns from childhood – Hyper-critical adults cause children to internalize damaging mindsets.[1] They establish ultimatums and fear-based rules.This causes children to feel the constant need to ask for permission and reassurance. They carry this need for validation into adulthood.

Perfectionism – Perfectionism is often at the root of fear of failure.[2] For perfectionists, failure is so terrible and humiliating that they don’t try. Stepping outside your comfort zone becomes terrifying.

Over-personalization – The ego may lead us to over-identify with failures. It’s hard to look beyond failure at things like the quality of the effort, extenuating circumstances, or growth opportunities.[3]

False self-confidence – People with true confidence know they won’t always succeed. A person with fragile self-confidence avoids risks. They’d rather play it safe than try something new.[4]

How the fear of failure destroys success

Unhealthy organization culture

Too many organizations today have cultures of perfection: a set of organizational beliefs that any failure is unacceptable. Only pure, untainted success will do.

Imagine the stress and terror in an organization like that. The constant covering up of the smallest blemishes. The wild finger-pointing as everyone tries to shift the blame for the inevitable cock-ups and messes onto someone else. The rapid turnover as people rise high, then fall abruptly from grace. The lying, cheating, falsification of data, and hiding of problems—until they become crises that defy being hidden any longer.

Miss out valuable opportunities

If some people fail to reach a complete answer because of the lure of some early success, many more fail because of their ego-driven commitment to what worked in the past. You often see this with senior people, especially those who made their names by introducing some critical change years ago. They shy away from further innovation, afraid that this time they might fail, diminishing the luster they try to keep around their names from past triumph.

Besides, they reason, the success of something new might even prove that those achievements they made in the past weren’t so great after all. Why take the risk when you can hang on to your reputation by doing nothing?

Such people are so deeply invested in their egos and the glories of their past that they prefer to set aside opportunities for future glory rather than risk even the possibility of failure.

High achievers become losers

Every talent contains an opposite that sometimes makes it into a handicap. Successful people like to win and achieve high standards. This can make them so terrified of failure it ruins their lives. When a positive trait, like achievement, becomes too strong in someone’s life, it’s on the way to becoming a major handicap.

Achievement is a powerful value for many successful people. They’ve built their lives on it. They achieve at everything they do: school, college, sports, the arts, hobbies, work. Each fresh achievement adds to the power of the value in their lives.

Gradually, failure becomes unthinkable. Maybe they’ve never failed yet in anything that they’ve done, so have no experience of rising above it. Failure becomes the supreme nightmare: a frightful horror they must avoid at any cost.

The simplest way to do this is never to take a risk, stick rigidly to what you know you can do, protect your butt, work the longest hours, double and triple check everything and be the most conscientious and conservative person in the universe.

If constant hard work, diligence, brutal working schedules and harrying subordinates won’t ward off the possibility of failing, use every other possible means to to keep it away. Falsify numbers, hide anything negative, conceal errors, avoid customer feedback, constantly shift the blame for errors onto anyone too weak to fight back.

The problems with ethical standards in major US corporations has, I believe, more to do with fear of failure among long-term high achievers than any criminal intent. Many of those guys at Enron and Arthur Andersen were supreme high-fliers, basking in the flattery of the media. Failure was an impossible prospect, worth doing just about anything to avoid.

Loss of creativity

Over-achievers destroy their own peace of mind and the lives of those who work for them. People too attached to “goodness” and morality become self-righteous bigots. Those whose values for building close relationships become unbalanced slide into smothering their friends and family with constant expressions of affection and demands for love in return.

Everyone likes to succeed. The problem comes when fear of failure is dominant. When you can no longer accept the inevitability of making mistakes, nor recognize the importance of trial and error in finding the best and most creative solution.

The more creative you are, the more errors you are going to make. Get used to it. Deciding to avoid the errors will destroy your creativity too.

Balance counts more than you think. Some tartness must season the sweetest dish. A little selfishness is valuable even in the most caring person. And a little failure is essential to preserve everyone’s perspective on success.

We hear a lot about being positive. Maybe we also need to recognize that the negative parts of our lives and experience have just as important a role to play in finding success, in work and in life.

How to conquer the fear of failure (a step-by-step guide)

1. Figure out where the fear comes from

Ask yourself what the root cause of your negative belief could be.[5] When you look at the four main causes for a fear of failure, which ones resonate with you?

Write down where you think the fear comes from and try to understand it as an outsider.

If it helps, imagine you’re trying to help one of your best friends. Perhaps your fear stems from something that happened in your childhood, or a deep-seated insecurity.

Naming the source of the fear takes away some of its power.

2. Re-frame beliefs about your goal

Having an all or nothing mentality leaves you with nothing sometimes. Have a clear vision for what you’d like to accomplish but include learning something new in your goal.

If you always aim for improvement and learning, you are much less likely to fail.[6]

At Pixar, people are actually encouraged to “fail early and fail fast.”[7] They encourage experimentation and innovation so that they can stay on the cutting edge. That mindset involves failure, but as long as they achieve their vision of telling great stories, all the stumbling blocks are just opportunities to grow.

3. Learn to think positively

In many cases, you believe what you tell yourself. Your internal dialogue affects how you react and behave.

Our society is obsessed with success, but it’s important to recognize that even the most successful people encounter failure.

Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper because they thought he lacked creativity. He went on to found an animation studio that failed. He never gave up, and now Disney is a household name.

Steve Jobs was also once fired from Apple before returning as the face of the company for many years. [8]

If Disney and Jobs believed the negative feedback, they wouldn’t have made it.

It’s up to you to notice your negative self talk and identify triggers. Replace negative thoughts with positive facts about yourself and the situation. You’ll be able to create a new mental scripts that you can reach for when you feel negativity creeping in. The voice inside your head has a great effect on what you do.

4. Visualize all potential outcomes

Uncertainty about what will happen next is terrifying. Take time to visualize the possible outcomes of your decision. Think about the best and worst-case scenarios. You’ll feel better if you’ve already had a chance to mentally prepare for what could happen.

Fear of the unknown might keep you from taking a new job. Weigh the pros and cons, and imagine potential successes and failures in making such a life-altering decision. Knowing how things could turn out might help you get unstuck.

5. Look at the worst-case scenario

There are times when the worst case could be absolutely devastating. In many cases, if something bad happens, it won’t be the end of the world.

It’s important to define how bad the worst case scenario is in the grand scheme of your life. Sometimes, we give situations more power than they deserve. In most cases, a failure is not permanent.[9]

For example, when you start a new business, there’s bound to be a learning curve. You’ll make decisions that don’t pan out, but often that discomfort is temporary. You can change your strategy and rebound. Even in the worst case scenario, if the perceived failure led to the end of that business, it might be the launching point for something new.

6. Have a backup plan

It never hurts to have a backup plan. The last thing you want to do is scramble for a solution when the worst has happened. The old adage is solid wisdom:

“Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.”

Having a backup plan gives you more confidence to move forward and take calculated risks.

Perhaps you’ve applied for a grant to fund an initiative at work. In the worst-case scenario, if you don’t get the grant, are there other ways you could get the funds?

There are usually multiple ways to tackle a problem, so having a backup is a great way to reduce anxiety about possible failure.

7. Learn from whatever happens

Things may not go the way you planned, but that doesn’t automatically mean you’ve failed. Learn from whatever arises.[10] Even a less than ideal situation can be a great opportunity to make changes and grow.

“Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.”

Ask yourself:

What did I learn?

How can I grow from this?

Did anything positive come from this situation?

Dig deep enough, and you’re bound to find the silver lining. When you’ve learned that “failure” is an opportunity for growth instead of a death sentence, you conquer the fear of failure.

Failures can be blessings in disguise

Together we’ve learned what fear of failure is, and how it can have a crippling effect on our ability to achieve. This fear often stems from childhood, perfectionism, ego and over-personalization, and a lack of confidence.

Luckily for us, there are plenty of ways to tackle this fear. We can start by figuring out where it comes from and re-framing the way we feel about failure. When failure is a chance for growth, and you’ve looked at all possible outcomes, it’s easier to overcome fear.

Stay positive, have a backup plan, and learn from whatever happens. Your failures will be sources of education and inspiration rather than humiliation.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

Go boldly in the direction of your dreams and goals. Don’t allow fear to stand in your way.

Featured photo credit: Vecteezy via vecteezy.com

Reference

[1]^MindTools: Overcoming Fear of Failure[2]^Make Money Online Scams Exposed: Causes Of Fear Of Failure[3]^A Conscious Rethink: The Real Reason You Have A Fear Of Failure (And What To Do About It)[4]^Hypnosis Downloads: 4 Causes of Fear of Failure[5]^Wake Up Cloud: 13 Incredibly Simple Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure[6]^Forbes: How To Conquer The Fear Of Failure – 5 Proven Strategies[7]^Virgin: Why failure is a key part of Pixar’s culture[8]^Entrepreneur: 6 Stories of Super Successes Who Overcame Failure[9]^Wake Up Cloud: 13 Incredibly Simple Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure[10]^Forbes: How To Conquer The Fear Of Failure – 5 Proven Strategies

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My Life’s Task: Week 3 Discussion Post

I love multiple things, but the two things that I love the most are writing and designing. I truly believe that my life’s task is to inspire others, specifically through my writing and design endeavors. Although I have a strong inclination (and underlying wish) that my endeavors will eventually lead me on the path to writing books, I need to focus on the truth. I am a phenomenal writer, but I do not enjoy writing like I enjoy designing. I am passionate about communicating across various media platforms. I love designing different campaigns and providing for a broad audience. I hope to bridge the gap between social, cultural, and racial barriers in art.

As a freshman in college, I started an inspirational blog that received great praise. My current desire is to start a new lifestyle blog that will allow me to incorporate all of the things that I love doing. Although I had been coding since I was a teenager, my first blog was the first endeavor that I had truly realized the depths of my life’s task. I believe that this was the first personal step on my Mastery Journey that I took towards pursuing my life’s task. One positive thing that I gained from that experience was the understanding that I had a powerful voice that inspired thousands around the world. With all great success, comes struggles, however. This leads me to my negative experience, and what I learned from it. As my blog grew, I began to feel more and more pressure to perform and constantly outdo myself with my content. While I had a ton of positive people in my corner, I started to see a trickle of negative people who either did not agree with me and my viewpoints or did not like my persona entirely. This negativity started to consume me, made me feel insecure, and made me question my life’s task. Because of my newly discovered low confidence, I stopped blogging altogether.

This brings me to Robert Greene’s “Strategies for Acquiring Social Intelligence.” In it, I found a sort of stressful, yet comforting concept. A negative thing about being a Master (or a human being in general), is that there will always be some sort of parasitic counterforce that attempts to pollute your mind. This very thought invokes a sense of fear, reminding me of the challenges that I have had to overcome in order to have even earned my seat in life present-day. However, I believe that for every negative thing, there’s also something positive. The positive here is that the negative can be combatted. Sometimes, standing up for what you believe in can result in your demise. In Greene’s section “Speak Through Your Work,” he tells the story of Ignaz Semmelweis, who, through his insistence of improper protocols enforced his beliefs upon many in the medical field with great frustration. Although his frustration was cultivated through the amount of people who constantly shunned his theories when he thought the evidence was blatantly apparent, Semmelweis carried his negative resentments throughout the rest of his career. This reminded me of many martyrs who have changed the scope of mankind. Martin Luther King Jr., for example, was one such martyr. While his beliefs, sentiments, and speeches gave way to the more inclusive society that we live in today, they led to his own assassination. Speaking through his work brought him great recognition. Even in death, his voice still resonates.

To stand far more “socially intelligent,” as Greene calls it, can often pose a threat to those within our society. People are so used to either doing things by the book or giving away what power they hold themselves, that they are often uninviting to new innovations. One powerful take-all that I have gained from this week’s reading is the understanding and courage to stand firm in what I believe. As Greene points out, we will always encounter fools along our journey. However, we can “Suffer Fools Gladly,” and truly prevail.

Another negative thing that I discovered is that our personality and our actions will reflect on the world, and if we are not careful, our persona can come in between our Mastery Journey and our success. This concept tugs on the strings of my heart. We have all heard that you should “never judge a book by its cover.” I try to practice this principle in all of my affairs, and I truly despise people judging in this manner. I truly believe that it is important to consider the content of someone’s character. A person’s outer appearance is hardly ever an accurate depiction of who they truly are. It also isn’t fair to judge someone for these reasons. I will choose to introduce Donald Trump for explaining purposes here. A close friend of mine and I have been debating on politics for some time. While neither of us support Donald Trump as a president, I am not afraid to express my sentiments on the fella. She, however, hates hearing of my sentiments in the way that I so deeply present them. I do not know Donald Trump personally, so the way I speak about him is unfair to her. While many American citizens may understand and value his points as a valid businessman, others refute him as the president of our country because they despise his persona. It is the characteristics that he portrays, his actions, and his words that inevitably led people to deem him untrustworthy and unfit to run or represent our country as a whole. My fear of a brewing war-zone is her fuel to turn the other cheek. Through my debates with her, I have realized that I am a fool myself! In many ways, I have had a double-standard. Greene insists that if we are able to see the fool in ourselves, we will be better able to handle others and overcome difficult situations.  

Again, as I mentioned earlier, for every negative, there is a positive. Just as people judging one on their physical characteristics or persona overall is negative, I find positivity in Greene’s dissection of Temple Grandin’s experiences. In the “See Yourself as Others See You” section, Greene argues that it is important to be able to recognize the positive and negative attributes that your audience experiences in relation to you. Because Temple Grandin wanted to perfect her craft and her persona, she truly absorbed the feedback from others. Rather than taking things personally and quitting or putting others down, Temple Grandin would take her shortcomings and use them in order to further advance herself towards being the ideal individual that she wanted to be. In doing so, she learned exactly how to have a more positive impact on others. I aspire to be more like Temple Grandin in my Mastery Journey. I want to utilize my negative and positive attributes in order to become a better Master. Even with the negative situations and difficult fools that are still waiting to pursue me, I will prevail.

References:

Greene, R. (2012). Mastery. New York, New York. Penguin Group (USA).