#but who could resist an opportunity to get this absolutely great shot with ghosts?

[a-master-procrastinator]

So, Reena realized that she can’t beat Thanaton unless her outfit is cooler than his, so she put on this outfit that gives +100 to every stat (:), and literally tore Thanaton apart with her edgelordness.

[deathduty]

Know Your Onions || Deirdre & Orion

PARTIES: @3starsquinn & @deathduty (and Nic’s ghost) TIMING: Current (?) LOCATION: Rio’s house CONTENT:  Deirdre calls Rio ugly a lot SUMMARY: Rio meets his landlord, Deirdre misses Nic’s muscles 

The house Deirdre had gotten for Nic sat deep in the back of her mind. She thought of it rarely, and only remembered when passing the neighborhood that it existed at all. With time to spare, and Nic and Skylar seemingly gone, it seemed right to ready the house for sale. Or, at least, to use as a second location to store her bones. She’d figure it out. Using her copy of the key, she entered slowly, eyeing a place she’d never really seen. She found it odd that the furniture hadn’t really been taken, or the bits and bobbles of decoration. For what it looked like, it was as if someone was still living here. Deirdre sighed, throwing herself on the couch and kicking her feet up. She could put a skull there, by the window, and a bigger skeleton could hang over there. But did she really need another house in the same town? It was so far out of her usual way that it hardly made sense. Then again, the windows were large, and she wondered what it might be like to push someone out of them. As Deirdre pondered these questions of great importance, a scrawny boy entered her vision. He appeared sad, and pathetic in that way young humans were. Most of all, though, she didn’t recognize him. Deirdre sat up. “If you’re here to rob the place, child. I’m the most valuable thing here and...if we’re being honest, I think a strong enough breeze would send you into the next city.” Deirdre eyed the boy, and then the window, and then the boy again. He would do nicely. 

Orion hadn’t been in the best state mentally since Skye had left. He had found himself alone in another house with too many memories and too much space for Rio alone. But still, it beat moving back into the empty shell of a home that his dead parents had left behind. Besides, how could he beat the opportunity to stay in a house that had apparently already been paid for in full? He didn’t understand much about adulthood, moving out of his parent’s house only to move in with a guy that wouldn’t even consider charging Rio rent. Here, things weren’t much different. There was no rent to pay, just utilities or whatever. He had been left with instructions on how to make the payments, and as far as he was aware he hadn’t been evicted yet. But he had been crying. A lot of crying. Enough crying that very morning even that his senses never picked up on the front door opening. He was lying on the floor next to his bed, slowly coming down from an episode when he finally heard the movement downstairs. He froze, focusing his senses out to try to confirm the source of the noise. But the more he listened, the more he was convinced that there was somebody downstairs right now. He rose slowly, his head peaking out from behind the bed as he glanced over at the open bedroom door. He half expected someone, or something to be standing there waiting for him. Luckily that hadn’t been the case. Rio rose slowly, taking light steps, just as his hunter mentor had been teaching him, out into the hallway and down the stairs. He slowly crept towards the source of the noise, finally turning a corner into the living room and taking in the view of a woman casually spread out across his couch. He wiped at his eyes quickly, trying uselessly to hide the evidence of red eyes and tear streaks. “What? No. I’m not here to rob the place. I’m here to live the place.” Rio paused, clearly flustered and trying to speak normally, “No. Wait. I mean I live the place. Er- I live here. This is my place!” Rio finally clarified a bit too passionately. He chose not to comment on her second statement. He knew exactly how he looked. “Uh… who are you?”

The more Deirdre looked at the boy, the more sad he seemed. He looked like he either had been crying, or had one of those faces that made him look like he was always one mean comment away from bursting into tears. As he spoke, her eyes narrowed. The only people who lived here were Skylar and Nic. The child clearly wasn’t Skylar and…. Deirdre rose from the couch with a gasp, hands clasped over her mouth. Poor Nic. Tears welled in her eyes. Somehow, he had been turned into a sad, pathetic, muscle-less little boy. Like someone had zapped all of his hotness away. If that had been her, well, she would’ve been crying too. And she was, now, for the loss of Nic’s muscles. Truthfully, she couldn’t remember what Nic looked like aside from his biceps, which were the only place she looked. He was barely recognizable now, in this cursed state. “I’m so sorry you’re so ugly,” she drew closer to him, clutching her chest. “It’s me, Deirdre. Your landlord. Oh, I know it must be hard to remember me, when we met you were much more….” She gestured in the air, miming his muscles. “I’m so sorry.” She drew the child-Nic into a hug. “I’m going to help you get through this, okay? No one should ever have to look like you do.” She drew back, “have you eaten anything today? You’re going to need lots of protein, okay? It’ll help.”

The woman was staring at Orion. An intense but vacant stare that made Rio convinced that she was clearly thinking through something in her head. Rio wasn’t sure what to expect from the woman. Was she there to kill him? Rio really wasn’t prepared to fight for his life. Or particularly motivated too either. But instead, the woman jumped from his couch and shot over to him with… were those tears in her eyes? Rio wasn’t just confused now, he was a bit worried. But any sense of sorrow he felt the woman quickly vanished when she spoke again. Suddenly, there was a lot less fear and most a healthy mix of confusion and confusion. His face dropped into a flatline, all emotion wiped from his face as he processed what the woman was saying to him. “I’m sorry I- don’t think we’ve ever met before.” Rio tried, trying to maintain pleasantries despite being absolutely sure that he had never met this woman before. “Get through what?” Rio questioned, his body immediately tensing at the hug that Deirdre had pulled him into. Who the heck was this woman? “I- uh. Of course I’ve eaten today. I’m really not as skinny as everyone says you know? Have you been talking to the Doctor? She always sends me protein shake recipes.”

“Oh you’re in denial…” Deirdre tutted, letting the child go. “You should listen to your doctor, she’s right about the protein shakes. But you need to lift weights too, or else there’s no real point to the protein.” Perhaps it was some solemn acceptance that Nic had been reduced to this form. He must have come to terms with the fact that he was more noodle than man--with a face like a distressed baby. Nic always was a man of inner strength, as she could tell, which she really couldn’t given how distracting his outer strength was. But to be turned into a child? The mere thought made her shiver. “It’s okay if you don’t remember me,” she smiled, “your brain must be blocking everything out. How long have you been living like this?” 

“I am not in denial.” Orion doubled down, crossing his arms like a pouting child and narrowing his eyes in her direction. “But the protein shakes were good. And I do lift weights sometimes!” Why was this woman so convinced that they knew each other? More importantly, why was she so obsessed with his accused frailness? He resisted the urge to try to point that he had gained a lot of muscle since training with Adam and Kaden. But that muscle went mostly unnoticed due to the baggy clothes he always wore. Besides, she didn’t seem entirely interested in his argument anyways. “Okay, that’s a lie. But I do exercise!” She wouldn’t stop looking at him with this face of mourning. As if Rio, or whoever she was convinced that Rio was, had died or something. He wasn’t a fan of the look at all. “It’s not that I don’t remember you. I’m pretty sure that we’ve never met! I didn’t know there was a landlord. I just paid Skye my cut of the utilities.” The last question baffled him a bit, and he paused and looked towards the ceiling as he considered his answer. “Uh- I’m 21. So 21 years?”

Deirdre’s frown grew deeper; how sad was it that Nic had to lie about lifting weights? He must’ve been demoralized after seeing the sorry state of his muscles. If he hadn’t blocked that from his memory at all. “You made Skylar handle your finances?” A look of disgust passed over her features--Skylar was also a child, and Nic was an adult. An adult of...21 years of age? Her face scrunched together in confusion. Nic was older, but even being transformed into a child would still mean he was just as old as he was before. Surely he was older than 21, wasn’t he? Deirdre crossed her arms over her chest, grumbling to herself as her mind tried to figure it out. It was true that she had a hard time telling the age of humans. This child here looked about 12, and Nic appeared adult-aged, whatever that meant. Maybe he truly was only 21? But she knew a handful of 21 year-olds and none looked like Nic. Was this Nic? No, of course it was. Who else would be living here? She’d only ever heard of Nic and Skylar. “You’ve been sad for 21 years?” She asked the boy, sighing, “you look like an abandoned puppy who was taken in and then abandoned again. And you’ve been that way for 21 years, child?” She paused, “are you sad because you have no muscles?” 

“What? No. That sounds mean.” Orion defended immediately, but started to wonder if he had been putting too much stress on Skye. He had never known much responsibility financially when he lived with his parents. And in Ricky’s house he was lucky to get the man to accept money for groceries. “I mean, Skylar had everything under control when I moved in. Probably after Nic left.” Rio spoke absentmindedly, now trying to convince himself more than this woman who claimed to be his landlord. Rio actually chuckled at Deirdre’s question. You’ve been sad for 21 years? Clearly they had never met before, despite her believing otherwise. “Um. Yeah, just about. Give or take a couple.” Maybe the first few before he had any memories. “Thanks?” Rio didn’t actually take her surprisingly relatable comparison as a compliment, but when faced by someone as blunt as this woman seemed to be Rio didn’t actually know how to respond to what she was saying. “I’ve been sad about a lot of things but muscles hasn’t really-” Rio began explaining before he realized that diving into his childhood trauma was not productive to this conversation at all. He shook his head and scratched at the back of his neck, “Actually I don’t know what this has to do with anything? I always assumed that Nic owned the house. So uh… who are you? Besides Deirdre the landlord. Like- how did they end up living in your house?”

“Nic….left…?” Deirdre eyed the boy, suspicious. If this was Nic, it seemed strange that he would have a recollection of Nic, yet no awareness that he was the very man he spoke of. “....what is your name, skinny child?” Possibly, though Deirdre would admit it was an honest mistake, this kid wasn’t Nic. But again, possibly he was. It was hard to tell with White Crest. Gone were the simple days of raining fish, now there were curses and ghosts and skinny boys. If Nic had been turned into a sad child, who else would notice it but her? At any rate, she wouldn’t be able to tell unless someone could verify that this child had truly lived for 21 years and wasn’t actually from the swamp, or wherever Nic said he was from. “Yes, well I bought him the house because he saved someone’s life, and I felt he deserved a reward, as humans often do. You give a dog a treat and a human a house. I didn’t think much of it, but it was nice being a landlord. For one thing, lord is in the title–as it ought. And for another, it’s nice to have a buff man give you money every month. Although we never saw each other, it was nice to know that behind the money drops was a buff man. You know…” Deirdre snapped, “maybe that’s the answer to your sadness. If we got a buff man in here to do all your chores, you’d feel much better. It works for me.” Or would his muscles remind the boy all of what he was missing out on?

“Uh yeah? Like, quite a while ago. Were you not aware that Nic left?” Orion was so confused. There was nothing about this woman or scenario that had not completely baffled him since the moment he heard her in his home. Or her home he supposed. “Orion. Well, most people call me Rio. Either one, really.” Rio answered on instinct, only later realizing what she had called him, “Hey! I’m… slightly less skinny than I used to be.” In his head, that had been a much better defense than it sounded out loud. So this woman was clearly incredibly wealthy, buying houses for men on a whim and- Did she just say humans? Rio’s face settled into a curious squint, studying the woman. Was she just completely lunatic or supernatural? Rio shrugged to himself as he considered the possibility that she might be both. “Right. Right. Well that was uh, super nice of you. To buy Nic a house and all.” Most importantly, he wondered how Nic had ended up in a situation where a supernatural woman bought a hunter a ginormous house for saving some random person’s life. It was altruistic sure, Rio felt bad admitting to himself that he didn’t think altruism seemed like this woman’s strongest attribute. She had barely known him for five minutes and had spent four and a half of them insulting him. “All great points that I never considered. Nic did have very buff arms. Not that I ever really noticed them. I mean I noticed them because like, they were right there and I have eyes. But I never like, noticed them noticed them, y’know? I mean he was basically my dad. He wasn’t my dad for record. I just kinda wished he had been my dad.” Oh god that was a train wreck. Rio needed to find a way to recover from that volcano of embarrassment, “My real dad’s dead.” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and wishing he could disappear into a void. Nailed it. “I uh- you have buff men do all your chores? That’s kinda cool.” 

"No, I knew he left, I just didn't know he had...other children in his house." Maybe Deirdre didn't have any room to judge the man, she did have her own influx of young people at her house. Maybe this child really wasn't Nic then? She'd have to ask Morgan about it. "Sorry, you'll have to speak up--" Lost in her thoughts, she missed what he'd said and found herself leaning in to hear better. "Your name is Onion?" She leaned back, frowning. No wonder why he was said, his name was Onion. He was skinny and named after a vegetable. "No," she waved her hand in the air, "don't call me nice. I don't like that word being used for me." And then, as though the child wasn't sad enough, he continued to speak. So he was sad because he was skinny, named after a vegetable and had a dead father. Perhaps it was that last thing that was most important. Deirdre shifted her weight. "Onion child," she proclaimed, "you are sad because your father is dead and Nic, who was like your father, is now gone, yes? Would you be less sad if I was your father? I could wear a fake mustache. Just remember that tears stain the hardwood, and I'd like this house to maintain its value." And perhaps she ought to be kinder to him? Deirdre clapped her hand on his skinny, skinny, shoulder. "Buff men don't do my chores anymore--you could say I've become the buff man in my own life--but I do employ a few to make deliveries for me." Bind was the more accurate word, but she felt that employ would do. "I will get you a buff man to do some housework. You may call him 'daddy' like the youth seem so inclined to. And you can forward your payments through Venmo, if that's easier, Onion. How does that sound?" 

“I’m actually 21.” Orion mentioned in passing after Deirdre called him a child, but it seemed she mostly glossed over it as she continued talking. Rio just nodded to himself solemnly and continued listening. This experience was repeated when he tried to correct her when she called him onion. “Oh. Uh- sorry for calling you nice?” That was an odd thing to be dismissive about, but to each their own. This was probably the strangest he had ever had with another human being. Or, he supposed that based on what she had said earlier Dierdre may not be human at all. She called him onion and a child again and Rio only had the capacity to once again briefly chime in and correct, “Orion.” It was once again ignored. “Uh. Yeah, I mean I guess I’m pretty sad about Nic leaving” Rio had no interest in touching on the topic of his dead father. He wasn’t sure talking with a stranger about his lack of remorse over his dad dying would make her feel great about potentially letting him stay in this house she had not so nicely bought. “But it’s really okay and-” He cut himself off. Did she just offer to wear a fake mustache and be his new dad? The suggestion was so outrageously wild that Rio genuinely didn’t know whether to laugh or be very, very worried. He coughed slightly to avoid a nervous laugh and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Oh uh. That’s not necessary. But yeah. No damages, for sure.” Was she actually going to let him stay here? He winced at her hand on his shoulder but didn’t react any further, choosing instead to listen to her compare herself to her former buff men, “That’s uh… deep.” But as confused as he wanted to be, he was mostly surprised to hear that the woman actually planned on letting him stay. “Oh a buff man really isn’t necessary. Especially the daddy part. But seriously? You’re letting me stay? That’s amazing, oh my god. I’m really inclined to call you nice right now, but I’m going to resist.” Rio didn't, however, resist jumping up and down in excitement. He had his own qualms about staying along in this large house, but he definitely hated the idea of having to move his stuff again anymore. “Also uh- it’s Orion.”

There was something peculiar about Onion. Well, most things, it seemed, were peculiar about him. But he seemed, in addition to being scrawny, sad and pathetic, to also want to insist that his name was Orion instead. Deirdre refused. She had been wrong once (debatably; she still needed to ask Morgan about this) and that was already too many times for her to be wrong in a day. Whether the kid liked it or not, he was Onion. Deirdre shifted her weight and quirked a brow up at the boy, “why wouldn’t I let you stay? No, don’t answer that. You’re sure to have some sad response like…’everyone kicks me out because I weep uncontrollably in the night’.” Deirdre looked around. The house she purchased was never meant to be any one’s home. Strange as it was, Nic struck her as the type that couldn’t settle in one place. And Skylar…. Deirdre shook her head. It was this sad child’s home now, and Deirdre had no intentions of taking it away. “Onion,” she began, “I suspect I must’ve been a bad landlord to Nic and Skylar.” She has been a normal one, truly, having never attended to any of their housely needs. “But I want you to know that that changes now. If you need anything–a father, protein, more tissues for your tears–you may contact me. And my offer to be your father remains. No child should be sad or ugly, and least of all not both.” In her head, her words felt like a grand speech of emotional proportions. She was sure Onion would think of this later and cry. “And with that, I believe I should leave you alone to cry…?” 

It was quickly dawning on Orion that talking to his new landlord wasn’t so much possible as talking at her while she spoke over him. It wasn’t exactly a huge issue aside from her insistence that his name was onion and her repeated mentions of what a sad boy he was. Despite this, he figured he could look past all of that if it meant that he had a place to live. He almost chimed in with potential reasons why she wouldn’t let him stay at the house until she kept him off, filling in the gaps for him with mentions of stories and crying. “I wouldn’t call it uncontrollable…” Rio rattled off absentmindedly, more to convince himself than his landlord since clearly she wasn’t listening to much of what Rio was saying. “Right. Um well, I really appreciate this. I will be sure to reach out if I need anything, but really I think you’ll find me to be a very quiet tenant. Just paying what I owe and probably not any of those other mentioned things. Especially the dad thing.” Because the dad thing was definitely weird, even by Rio’s messed up standards. She managed to get one more double insult off and Rio just nodded his head solemnly, resigned to his own fate. Was this how every reaction with the woman going to go? “Won’t be crying, but will be enjoying having a house to live in!” Rio gave the girl a thumbs up and a smile, “It was… nice to meet you?” It came out as more of a question than anything else, mostly because he hadn’t convinced himself it was true before saying it.

“Yes it was nice to meet me…” Deirdre trailed off, nose high to the ceiling and, with what she imagined to be great humility, lowered her head slowly to meet the child’s gaze. “And, I suppose, not so terrible to meet you, sad child.” She had a feeling he wasn’t the sort to bother others with his problems, and she imagined she really wouldn’t be hearing much from him. At the idea, a peculiar stab of something (an emotion quite like that of dropping ice cream on the ground) struck her slow-beating heart. She shook her head, and moved to the door. Whatever the child would do, wherever he would go, he was nothing but a speck on the earth and a drop in time’s fast-flowing river. But to her, he was her tenant. And she, his landlord. And perhaps business bred fondness, or perhaps she truly was more sentimental than she imagined, but she considered for a moment that he ought to have his little water drop of a life feel special. And this house, a home. “Orion,” she corrected, her hand pressed to the door frame as she turned her head only half towards him, watching from the corner of her eye. “Don’t live a life you’ll regret.” She turned her head back. “And stop being so ugly.” And with that, she shut the door behind her. 

[axwalker]

The Trade 7

Synopsis:  Liam is running for Cordonia’s presidency. To assure his victory, Constantine makes an arraignment behind his back for him to marry the rich ambassador’s daughter: Alexis O’Brien. Due to her father’s threats, she has no other option that seduce Liam and make him fall in love with her. But what does she really feel? (AU)

Pairings: LiamxMC DrakexMC

Warnings: I love drama and chaos so this will probably get a bit dark. In this chapter there is mention of rape, if you get triggered by this issue, don’t hesitate to send me a message and I’ll be glad to explain what happens without reading it.

Please note that this is my first series and English is not my first language. I really love ALL kinds of feedback.  Don’t hesitate to comment!

Disclaimer: Some of the dialogues and settings as well as most of the characters belong to Pixelberry (except for Alexis O’Brien and her evil father George O’Brien). I also used a line from Grey’s Anatomy that really made me think about Drake.

To catch up: Masterlist

Thanks to @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld​ for being my incredible beta reader and always being there to answer my questions and her support,  to  @burnsoslow​ for helping with the first part of this episode, it was very difficult to write. and to  @mskaneko​  for the beautiful edit of Drake and Alexis in the mood-board  (I can’t stop looking at it) ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I'm only tagging those who asked if you want to be tagged, I will be happy to add you to the list

@mskaneko​ @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @burnsoslow​ @pug-bitch​ @pedudley​ @msjr0119​ @lauzales​ @yukinagato2012​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @desiree-0816​

The debutant’s ball was all Sienna O’Brien could think about. She adored her granddaughter and was absolutely proud to present her to her high society friends. Alexis was a smart, poised and beautiful young woman; Sienna couldn’t understand why her son had been adamant to send her to that French boarding school. The old woman admired how the sunny fifteen-year-old girl managed to make everyone around her happy. It was a miracle considering her father’s coldness and her mother’s inattention. Sienna knew that deep down, Elena loved her daughter but after years of living with George, she had become a ghost of herself, always drunk or heavily medicated. It all broke her heart, so when George took some interest in Alexis’ date to the ball, the old woman felt almost happy thinking that her son might love his daughter after all. They had finally agreed that she was going to be escorted by Bradford Davenport III, the son of a wealthy and renowned businessman. Alexis couldn’t believe her luck, Brad was extremely handsome and, even if she didn’t go to his school, she knew he was the most popular boy there; that all the girls at the cotillion wanted to be escorted by him. According to her grandmother, he was a true gentleman; the heir of a very good family. Even her father was pleased with the choice. The young girl had learned a long time ago not to seek his approval, but she was thrilled to get it when she could. As the date of the ball approached, Alexis was so excited about it that she had tried her white gown a hundred times and rehearsed more different hairstyles that she would ever admit. She felt like a princess.

Finally, the day had arrived. It had started as a dream. Brad was certainly good-looking and could dance perfectly, spinning her all over the dancefloor while he made her laugh. He took care of her, making sure she always had something to drink and he didn’t leave her side for a second. The adults left the ball early so he promised her father that he would drive her before 1 o’clock. Alexis was feeling too drunk, so she asked him to take her home at midnight. They hopped in the backseat of the car, so she could recover a little before getting back. Brad gave her a soft kiss that made Alexis feel like she was floating. Emboldened by her response he kissed her again, harder this time. Then he went further and grabbed her by her waist knowing that she was almost out of it after all the alcohol he had given her. Brad was convinced that she desired it as much as he did. After a few seconds of kissing her she started to resist him, she didn’t want this, her first time had to be special, not in the backseat of a car. Alexis could smell the alcohol in his breath, feel his sweat, and his hands everywhere. She tried to fight against him, but she wasn’t a match for him. He didn’t want to listen to her cries or see her tears. He ripped her dress and after he took what he wanted, he drove her home."

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Alexis had woken up happy and excited. The moment she had spent with Drake gazing the stars had been incredible. He was all she had imagined, behind that brooding and strong façade hid a sensitive man and she couldn’t deny any longer the indescribable power he had over her. She shivered remembering his touch when he held her hand and the warmth emanating from his body when he had hugged her after she had almost fallen.

It had been the first time in her life that she had felt completely safe.

Suddenly, she thought about Liam, and a pang of overwhelming guilt replaced the excitement. Alexis knew what a good man he was, but now she was sure she would never love him back. Maybe Liam’s interest in her was simple infatuation, but she didn’t want to make him suffer. The seed of a solution started to grow in her mind, it was a long shot but maybe if she asked him for help, he would do it. She would have to arrange a meeting and make him understand that it was in his own son’s best interest.

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Constantine decided to wait for George’s daughter in the breakfast room.

“Good Morning, Alexis.” He smiled politely pointing to the seat across the table so she’d sit. “How can I help you?”

“I need to ask you for something” She didn’t have the energy to be polite anymore. “It’s not for me, it’s for your own son, but maybe this is not the best place to talk.” She paused looking around her

“Don’t worry, the staff won’t bother us. I ordered them to leave us alone when you called.”

“I wanted to talk about Liam, about what you and my father are trying to make me do to him.” She sighed trying to compose herself. “Please Constantine, think about your son. He’s an amazing man, he deserves a woman who loves him. I’m not, or never will be, that woman.” She stopped talking to gauge his reaction. “I know you made a deal with my father but I’m sure you can continue without me. If you tell him you don’t need me, he will let me go-”

He interrupted her smirking “Oh, but I do need you, Alexis. First, because as you can see the press is already starting to associate the two of you as a couple.” He showed her the paper he was reading with pictures of her and Liam at the Masquerade ball and paparazzi’s photos of their date at the Mexican restaurant. “That was brilliant by the way, taking him to such a poor place, they’re presenting him as the people’s candidate.” She rolled her eyes as he continued, “but I’m digressing. I also need you as a guarantee that your father will complete his part of the bargain.”

She couldn’t help but snicker at him. “If you are thinking to use me as leverage, you’re sorely mistaken, Constantine. You can be sure, that if my father thinks is in his best interest to throw me under a bus, he would be driving that bus himself. Having me does not give you any advantage.”

“I’m not going to discuss this any further with you. If you’re having doubts about my son because is too soon just give it time” He stood behind Alexis putting his hands on her bare shoulders. She shuddered at the contact. “However, if it’s because there’s someone else, that could be dangerous for everyone involved. I hope you fully understand me.”

She realized how stupid she had been to believe Constantine would help her. “Yes, I do. Perfectly.” After that, she left the room, leaving the ex-president alone. He picked up the phone and called his associate number.

“George, we have a problem. I need you to control your daughter”

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Since he had met Alexis O’Brien, Liam had been feeling like a 15-year-old teenager again. He couldn’t stop thinking about her day and night, and he was really excited to start working with her on the campaign. He had read all the articles she had wrote and they had fascinated him even more.

With his heart threatening to go out of his chest, he heard the soft knock on the door and opened it.

“Hi Alexis, please, come on in.”

“Thanks, Liam.” She sat in the chair across from him. “Are you ready for me to pick your brain?”

He smiled gently “Of course. What do you need?”

She ran her hand through her hair “Well, I’d like to know more about your motivations as a candidate, about what drives you. A good speech has to reflect your personality above everything else. If it feels fake, you’ll lose the public’s trust immediately.”

“Yes, of course. Let’s see, when we met, I told you that it wasn’t until I became senator that I truly understood the value of politics” She nodded “For the campaign, I had to visit all these neighborhoods that I didn’t even know existed before. I had the chance to see real people facing problems that were completely alien to me” He sighed “There was this school we visited. There were 45 children in a class with only one teacher, and the conditions weren’t the best either: no computers, the state of the desks and chairs were deplorable, the teachers seemed completely overwhelmed by the whole situation. They were teaching, but they didn’t believe they could actually help these kids anymore” He paused again thinking “Here I was, this privileged man thinking he was living in a great country, one that gave everyone the same opportunities to go far in life, but actually ignoring everything about the people he wanted to rule. That day was the day I knew I wanted to make a change. Starting with the reform of the education’s program of Cordonia”

Alexis looked at him impressed. His passion was contagious, he had a real desire to make things better, to help others, and to improve his country. He would be an outstanding president.

“Let’s start with the anecdote and then we will move forward to explaining your education reform.” She smiled.

After a few hours exchanging ideas, they had finally written a speech draft they were equally satisfied with. They were both tired, but Liam didn’t want their time together to end so fast.

“How about we take a break before the ball?” He stood up and walk around the desk to sit on it, in front of Alexis’ chair.

Remembering the earlier conversation with Constantine, she answered trying to seem joyful “Sure! What do you have in mind?”

“There’s this amazing terrace in my room, maybe we can have a few drinks there, the view is incredible.”

Alexis' eyebrows almost touched her scalp. “Your room?”

“Hey, I’m a gentleman” He winked. “If you want me to be one of course.”

She let out a hearty laugh that almost made his heart stop. “Aren’t you smooth?” She sighed amused “Let’s go have that drink.”

Liam smiled relieved “Just give me five minutes, I have to make a call.”

Fifteen minutes later, they entered the room to access the terrace. It was magnificent. The beautiful panoramic was breathtaking, they could see the huge snowy Lythiko’s mountains, the shimmering lake that surrounded Olivia’s property, the hundreds of pines that seemed to have been planted in the snow, the wooden cabins all around the place. It felt like a Christmas fairytale. And the terrace was incredible too. Awfully sunny even in the wintery day, spacious, and luxuriously decorated. It had an outdoor couch full of beautiful cushions, and the small table in front of it was set with a rose’s bouquet, some candles, and a bucket containing a freezing bottle of champagne.

Alexis was in awe at the view. “Wow, Li. It is amazing”

“Beautiful, isn’t it? Now you see why I wanted to share it with someone.” He stood close to her, brushing her hand with his thumb

“And all of this?” She pointed at the table “You were with me the whole time”

“I have my ways,” he said grinning “and I wanted this to be magical for us”

They sat on the couch.

“You didn’t tell me if you liked it” He was looking softly at her

“Liam…” Touched by the gesture, she wasn’t sure how to answer “It’s very nice. I love red roses”

“I have to be honest with you Alexis. I’ve never really had someone I wanted so badly to please. I feel like I would do anything to make you smile and know that I am the cause”

Another pang of guilt in Alexis’ chest almost made her jump “Liam…”

He blushed “Ahem, anyway, what if we open this bottle of champagne”

After uncorking it and pouring two glasses, they toasted.

“To a great life” He clinked her glass without taking his eyes off her.

“To a great life” She repeated smiling and drank “This is so good Liam; I love it”

“There are few things better in life than a good bottle of champagne shared in good company” He took one of Alexis’ hands and kissed her palm “Alexis, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment the entire trip”

She smiled at him, unsure of how to behave, torn between her task of making him love her and her reluctance to hurt him.

Liam put his drink at the table and turned to watch her “You make me want so many things, things I never wanted before. I want to be careful with you, I’d hate to hurt you in any way”

“Don’t worry about me, Liam. I will be fine. I know what I’m getting myself into. Besides, you’re the model of a good person” Even if she was certain that her heart wasn’t hers to give anymore, she sincerely liked him and knew that if she hadn’t met Drake before, she would have fallen for Liam.

He caressed her cheek “If I’m not, I hope I will be, for you. You inspire me to be a better man”

He leaned to kiss her when the room’s phone rang.

“Well, if that’s not bad timing” He smiled taking her chin between his fingers “I do not know what is. “Wait here, love”

She waited a while but when it became evident that the call was going to last more than a few minutes, Alexis went into the room and waved her hand to say good-bye. They would see each other at the ball.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kiara left her lover’s room as quietly as she could. Even if she was perfectly aware that Rashad couldn’t care less who she was sleeping with, and if It had been months since the last time he had touched her, she couldn’t, and wouldn’t, face the scandal. She had too much to lose.

Rashad was also very careful when he left the room at the end of the hall that afternoon, if Kiara or her family knew who he had been sleeping with, he will lose everything.

They almost crashed into each other in the hall.

“Darling, what are you doing here?” And with last night’s clothes.

Kiara looked angrily at him “I… I don’t want to lie anymore Rashad. If you’re so interested in my life you should come to my bed more often. If you can’t do that, we’ll continue our relationship because that’s what’s best for us, but we will lead separate lives. I’ll go prepare for the ball, we have to arrive together. See you at 7 at my door”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olivia was more than content with the result of Max’s and Penelope’s work. With a bit of luck, they would be able to attract the most prominent men in Lythikos and make them contribute to Liam’s campaign. She sighed when she saw Drake arriving without a bow tie.

“God Walker! Couldn’t you make a fucking effort and dress properly for this?” She rolled her eyes, giving him his accustomed glass of whiskey “If he wins, you’re going to be the new Chief of staff”

Drake chuckled “Ha! If Liam chose me for my fashion sense, he’s gonna be in a lot of trouble”

“I think it will always be a mystery for all of us why he chose you,” she answered teasingly. “By the way, as you can’t behave like an adult around that toad Neville, and Kiara bores you to death, I seated you with Hana Lee and the new ‘speechwriter’” She almost spits the last word

“I can tell you really like her, Livvie” He smirked at her and then added more seriously “Be careful with her though” he looked pointedly at her “she’s…not bad”

Her eyes narrowed to slits “Why are you protecting her? And what have I told you about calling me that?” She arched her brows “Do you want everyone to know your nickname? Little marsh-“

“Shut up, Olivia. I’ll go find my seat” He watched her knowingly and pointed his index at her “And you better behave”

Drake was nervous to see Alexis again but with Hana acting as an unknowing buffer, the diner had gone smoothly. After it, the girls had stood up to dance, so he moved to his favorite spot at the bar and watched the dancefloor, his eyes irremediably going to her. He wasn’t disappointed at the sight; she was dancing like a goddess in Maxwell’s arms. Iit made his heart swell to see her smiling and laughing freely. Sometimes he got the feeling that there was something haunting her; some dark secret that prevented her from being truly happy.

He saw his best friend take a stool next to him, then look around the dance floor until he found her too. The goofy smile on his face while he watched her move let no doubt about Liam’s feelings. The waiter gave Liam a glass of scotch that he downed in one gulp.

“I’m falling hard for that woman,” he told Drake, nodding in Alexis' direction.

Drake’s heart literally stopped at Liam’s words, in almost 23 years of friendship, it was the first time Drake wanted the same thing that Liam did.

He sighed before answering “I know”

“Do you think she feels the same?” Liam smiled sheepishly

Drake knew that any other woman in Cordonia would have fallen instantly in love with the rich and promising candidate but he wasn’t so sure about O’Brien.  In all the moments they had shared together, even the one where she had rejected him, he had felt something strong brewing between them, something he couldn’t quite define.

He exhaled. “I have no idea, Liam. I think she’s very closed-off.” Then remembering that morning’s newspaper, he added unhappily, “but she seemed to be having fun with you in those pictures.”

“Yes, my father had us followed. I was very angry at first but as he pointed out, it all turned out well.”

Drake growled. “What do you mean it turned out well? They followed you, took pictures of you… of her, of a private moment. Doesn’t it drive you crazy that your father is trying to use Alexis like that? Like she’s a pretty object that he can use for your advantage?” Drake knew he had sounded angrier than he had intended.

Liam stared at his best friend coolly. “I don’t understand why are you angry Drake; you know perfectly how a campaign works. You know I was trying to find someone to help me boost my image. I would’ve thought you were happy that I found someone that I actually like,” he paused, “that I’m starting to love.”

Drake knew Liam was right, his biggest fear since he had entered the campaign had been to live trapped in a loveless marriage, it looked like he was going to be able to avoid it, and as his best friend, he should be happy about it.

Before answering, Drake allowed himself to look at her one last time “I apologize Li. I’m actually happy for you.” Trying to hide the pain he was inexplicably feeling he stood up patting his friend in the back, “you deserve the best and she seems… incredible.”

“Thanks, Drake, I know you only want what’s best for me.” Liam was grinning again

“Of course, Liam.” Drake felt a sudden urge to breathe fresh air. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Without waiting for Liam’s answer, Drake left the ballroom.  

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alexis was dancing with Maxwell again, but despite the fact that he was trying to be as joking and chatty as usual she could see that something was tormenting him. It killed Alexis how hard he was trying to hide his misery, so she finally grabbed him by his hand, stole a bottle of champagne from the bar, and took him out of the ballroom into the library.

“Ok Max, you’re gonna tell me exactly what is going on,” She said passing him the bottle after drinking from it.

“What do you mean Lexie? I’m fine, just a little tired. I’m sorry if I’m not a lot of fun tonight, though.”

“Maxwell! You’re under no obligation to be fun and sparkly all the time. And you certainly don’t need to apologize for having a night off. I only brought you here because I thought that you might want to talk to someone.”

Max sighed sadly “Remember when I told you yesterday that I was sort of in a relationship?”

She nodded

“Well... I’m not anymore”

“Aw Max I’m so sorry,” she said hugging him “I remember how happy you were. Are you sure it is final?”

“Actually, is not. I can even bet that he will be calling me tonight to patch things over but,” He took a large sip of champagne, “I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“What do you mean Max?”

“People see me like this immature boy, but the truth is that I’m proud of myself. I came out when I was sixteen, and I’ve never looked back, but now here I am 12 years later struggling in a relationship with a man that can’t accept himself” he sounded almost angry “I love him but I just can’t do this any longer”

“If you love him and he loves you back, and I can’t imagine him not to” she smiled at him “Maybe you should give him some time. Not all of us are as comfortable with ourselves as you are, Max. If he comes from a more traditional family than yours, then he needs love and support to take that step. I know it’s not fair. How long have you been together?”

“Uh, almost a year” He drank again.

She put her arms around him “Maybe you can give him a deadline, like six more months, a little time to think. If he doesn’t do it, then you’ll probably have to move on; But at least you’ll know that you did everything that you could”

Max nodded pensively “Yes, I’ll talk to him tonight. Thank you, blossom, you’re the best” He hugged her, then offered her his arm “Want to be my lady for the rest of the evening?”

“Go on without me and find him. I’ll take a tour through Lythikos mansion, it seems fascinating”

“Ok, but don’t get lost” He shuddered a little scared “The Nevrakis love secret passages”

She winked at him “Don’t worry. I will”

She started walking, lost in her thoughts until she saw a light at the end of the corridor. She approached it to discover a spiraling staircase. Without thinking it twice, she climbed it down and found a cellar at the end of it. Her heart missed a beat when she saw Drake sitting there, looking at an empty glass.

He looked up when she entered, his heart missing a beat as well. “First the snow and now here, I’m starting to think that you’re stalking me, O’Brien”

“You wish Walker.” She arched her brow smirking “Drinking alone?”

“I needed to get out of that ballroom for a second”

“Yeah, I know the feeling. Can I sit?” She asked, smiling.

-God that smile is going to be the death of me- He moved to let her seat next to him on the floor, immediately drunk with her scent.

“What are you having?”

“Nothing yet. Olivia has a very extensive collection of fine Cordonian wines, nothing here is under a thousand dollars”

“You want to drink Olivia’s wine?” She added playfully “I thought you were more of a whiskey guy, Drake.”

They both looked at each other thinking about the night they had met, an electric tension starting to grow.

Drake broke the stare clearing his throat “Ahem, I brought this bottle of Dalwhinnie, here, taste it” he poured her a glass.

She licked her lips before taking the glass to her mouth savoring the sour smell of the beverage. It took all of Drake’s willpower not to throw the glass away and kiss those full lips until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

“So?” He asked arching a brow, trying to hide his thoughts.

“Delicious.” She gazed at him thoroughly “Care to tell me why did you want to get out? “

There was no way in hell that Drake was going to tell her the real reason “I wanted to be alone in a place where I don’t have to bow and kiss ass for five minutes. It’s fucking exhausting trying to get all those rich bastards to donate to Liam’s campaign.”

“Please Drake, tell me what you really think,” She said playfully.

He snickered and the wrinkles around his eyes made him look so handsome when he smiled that she couldn’t stop herself from carefully putting her hand in his arm, savoring the electricity that immediately passed between them. “Seriously though, if you hate politics so much, why do you stick around?”

He looked at her cautiously, her opinion mattered to him much more than anyone else’s “It must seem ridiculous to you.”

She stared at him. “No, it’s not ridiculous, Drake. I’m just trying to understand why a brilliant man as yourself is wasting his life doing something he so clearly hates.”

“It’s for Liam, it has always been for him. I would’ve left a long time ago, but Liam needs me. Growing with Constantine was especially hard for me and Olivia. My sister was so obedient that he never had to complain about her, and Leo and Liam were his sons. But the old man was very hard on them too. Eventually, Li, Liv and I became very close and we swore we would always protect each other”

Alexis looked at him with piercing eyes, biting her bottom lip, clearly wanting to say something.

He stared at her amused. “I know you’re dying to say something O’Briens. Spill it”

“Well, it seems to me that you and Olivia do all the protecting” When she saw he was about to protest, she added “Don’t get me wrong, Li is a very good and caring man. It’s just that I have the feeling that you were raised to move around him like he was the sun. And now, you’re stuck in that role. But you’re an extraordinary man, handsome, brilliant and funny. He’s not the sun Drake. You are” She blushed to realize she had said much more than she had intended.

Her words melted all of Drake’s resolutions to keep her at arm’s length, he reached her face with his thumb stroking first her cheek, then her nose and mouth, his heart threatening to go out of his chest as he looked her bright eyes and that smile he had learned to adore.

He approached her gently, pulling her to him with his left arm. Suddenly Drake felt her hands around his neck; he heard her breathing accelerate and he smelled her cherry fragrance. He stopped to inhale it and savor every single second. His eyes fixed the mouth that was driving him slowly crazy and kissed a corner of it, making Alexis softly moan, he smiled to himself and kissed the other corner, producing another tender moan. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer and crashed his mouth with hers, trying to convey everything with a single kiss. He kissed her with all the passion, the desperation, and the pain he was feeling, he kissed her knowing that it would be the last time. After a while, the need for air made them break the kiss, and the spell was broken.

“I’m sorry Drake.” She struggled to breathe normally again. “I don’t know what we were thinking, we can’t do this anymore. “I- I should go.”

He stood up first, giving her his hand to pull her up.

“I know Lexie,” he said softly. “I know we can’t. I just needed one more time” He caressed her face with the back of his hand “Come on, we have to go back to the ball, everyone must be looking for you.”

“You go first, my father is waiting for me at the office Olivia lend him.”

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George knew that her daughter’s secret was the only means he had to control her. He had lost all of her respect after that debutant’s ball ten years ago and the truth was, he didn’t care. His daughter only existed to remind him about the worst mistake of his life. As he poured brandy into his old associate’s son glass, he congratulated himself. Calling him had been the right move. After seeing him, Alexis wouldn’t have any other choice, but to do what she was told. 

At 9 pm sharp, his daughter knocked on the door. Alexis entered the office where his father was talking to another man turning his back at her.

“Good evening, Alexis. I called you because there is an old friend of yours visiting Cordonia, and I thought you would enjoy reminiscing; he’ll be staying here with us.”

The man turned and Alexis couldn’t believe her eyes. Even if she was aware that her father didn’t have any limits and that he would do anything to assure her cooperation, she didn’t want to believe he would go that far.

However, there was no denying it. Bradford Davenport, her abuser,  was standing in front of her, his obnoxious hand reaching hers. She jerked away stupefied. The hatred was consuming her entirely. She looked at one then the other contemptuously.

“I will never, hear me, well father. Never sleep under the same roof that this excuse of a human being”

“Always so dramatic. Bradford is an associate and a friend; I couldn’t care less of your little teenage romance”  

Maybe it was the fact that her father has referred to the second most horrible experience of her life as a “teenage romance” but Alexis was so filled with rage that the next thing she knew she was slapping Brad.

His father was furious. “Alexis, apologize, now!”

She turned around slamming the door after her and ran to the garden.

When she was sure that they couldn’t see her any longer, she fell into the grass and the tears started to come. All the old feelings resurfaced: the shame of the next day, the acute pain, nausea, the deep sadness that would become depression, the sensation of being dirty all the time. In a few minutes, the tears had muted into gut-wrenching sobs, until suddenly she felt his presence standing a few inches of her.

“O’Brien?” in two steps he was on his knees next to her caressing her hair  “God! What’s going on?”

As she continued to cry Drake took her in his arms and rocked her. “Oh, Lexie, baby, please tell me what happened”

Suddenly she knew there was only one thing that would make her feel safe again.

“Please, Drake, take me far away from all of this. I just can’t take it. I know I can’t”

Drake looked at the damaged woman before him and his heart broke. He stood up determined.

“Come on, I know where we can go”

[dnmeinster]

Why The Last Jedi Fails

I've debated whether it would be worth spending time writing this, as I know there are many critical takes out there about The Last Jedi.  But I figure it's time to gather up all my critiques and criticisms of Star Wars Episode 8 and put them into one (hopefully) coherent post.  Warning: I will be praising some parts of this film.

After I saw The Last Jedi opening night, my immediate reaction was that I loved it.  It is a beautifully shot film with some great scenes.  My initial trepidations were ones I've come to accept: Rey's parents are nobodies and Snoke was killed off without a backstory.  However, in the hours after watching, my critical brain turned back on and started to dissect every other bit of the film.  After seeing it a second time, the problems became more apparent.

Let's start with the film's greatest problem and a huge missed opportunity: Canto Bight.  Everything surrounding this whole plot point and locale is misguided from the minute it's mentioned.  It starts by wasting Maz Kanata, a potentially interesting character who is given little more than a cameo to send Finn and Rose off to the casino world.  Even worse, Maz's short amount of screen time includes a dig at the prequels, when she dismisses any notion that they'd be interested in her union dispute.  Here, we get some insight into how this film will approach politics in the Star Wars galaxy.  But director Rian Johnson misdiagnoses what was wrong with the prequels.  Space politics can be interesting!  See:  Star Wars Bloodline.  Johnson's decision to shy away from it compounds the problems when they actually get to Canto Bight.

It all goes wrong from the moment they land.  Literally.  Finn and Rose "park" their ship in a spot they're not supposed to.  Then they enter the casino, in what is apparently an homage to the cantina but on a grander scale.  This diverse set of gamblers are apparently war profiteers, as is briefly mentioned.  But their only interaction with any of them is when they are approached and arrested for parking illegally.  Seriously.

In prison, they encounter DJ, who will eventually join them on their mission to disable the First Order's tracker.  But first, they have to go back to the casino area and release enslaved creatures so they can trample and maim these profiteers we are told are bad.  This is a very long sequence that ends with Finn saying how glad he was to hurt them.  Huh?  Hurt these people you don't know and haven't spoken to?

The entire Canto Bight subplot lacks any depth.  It's completely superficial, and maybe that would've worked if they didn't spend so much of the movie there.  But it ends up being a whole lot of time wasted on what amounts to finding a way to get DJ with Finn and Rose.  This could've been so much better.

HOW TO IMPROVE CANTO BIGHT

Honestly, this should've been caught when someone was reading Johnson's drafts, because we're basically stuck with a chunk a TLJ that degrades it while simultaneously expanding its running time.  But it could've been fixed, starting with Maz.

 Instead of having Maz phone in her appearance, they should have met her on Canto Bight.  Right there, we lose one prequel crack and give Lupita a slightly larger role.  While there, they interact with these profiteers, engaging in a moral debate about the First Order vs. the Resistance, while finding out how the conflict is viewed through the galaxy.  Were there a lot of systems missing the Empire?  How do they feel about the New Republic's destruction?  Eventually, that moral debate is what leads to fisticuffs and their subsequent imprisonment, as opposed to a parking ticket.

Johnson doesn't touch on any of this in TLJ.  His take on the morality of the conflict is restricted to two lines involving DJ.  First: 

DJ: Good guys, bad guys, made-up words. Let's see who formerly owned this gorgeous hunk-uh. Ah, this guy was an arms dealer. Made his bank selling weapons to the bad guys. (Hologram shows a tie fighter.) Oh... And the good. (Hologram shows an x-wing.) Finn, let me learn you something big. It's all a machine, partner. Live free, don't join.

And second, when DJ betrays them:   

DJ: They blow you up today, you can blow them up tomorrow. It's just business. 

Finn: You're wrong. 

DJ: Maybe.

This is the extent Johnson is willing to go when it comes to morality in the Star Wars universe, and it's just not enough.  Either dig in or don't mention it.  Short changing it is a disservice, but that's exactly what happens.

If the entire Canto Bight sequence was redone, it would not only be a better Star Wars movie, but a better movie in general.  It doesn't have to be exactly as I think it should be, but it needs vast improvements.  If Disney were to ever special edition the sequels, then Canto Bight should be singled out.  And yes, I do think they should special edition them, along with the prequels.  But that's for another time.

MOVING ON

The second greatest issue of The Last Jedi is how immensely it fails at being a sequel to The Force Awakens.  I am undoubtedly biased when it comes to discussing TFA because JJ Abrams is one of my favorite directors and I absolutely loved his take on Star Wars.  Now, one of JJ's favorite things to do is to approach plots as mystery boxes, whose contents are slowly revealed over the course of a TV series or movie.  And don't say he didn't have any clue as to where TFA was going, as he had an outline prepared for the sequel, and an idea for who Rey's parents were.  Along comes Rian Johnson, who, instead of opening that mystery box, takes a hammer to it.

So much of what is hinted at, left unsolved, or teased in TFA is either ignored, brushed aside, or poorly answered in TLJ.  This is a problem.  TLJ is supposed to be a direct sequel, not a spin-off or an unplanned continuation.  When Yoda suggests there's another hope in Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi provides an answer to who that is.  Imagine if it didn't.  Well, I suppose you don't have to cause this basically happens with TLJ.

There was a lot of set up in TFA, but Johnson used TLJ to tear all of that up instead of building on it.  Rey's lineage, strongly hinted to be significant through multiple scenes in TFA, is made to be meaningless in TLJ.  Maz Kanata teased having a story about how she came to possess Anakin's lightsaber, but that's ignored in TLJ.  Snoke is treated like a disposable villain, even though he somehow managed to stitch the Empire back together and tempt Ben Solo to the dark side.  The Knights of Ren are mentioned in an offhand comment in TFA and are completely missing in TLJ.  I could go on.

Okay, I will.  Why would Luke leave a map for his friends to find him in TFA if he went to Ahch-To to die?  And why did Luke leave it with Lor San Tekka?  (Johnson's answer:  stfu, Luke is emo now.)

The Last Jedi also feels like a smaller movie.  There are two new locations introduced: Canto Bight and Crait.  It revisits Ahch-To from TFA, and the rest takes place on ships.  This is not necessarily a problem, except it fails to show both the dominance of the First Order and the scope of their battle with the Republic/Resistance.  Star Wars is a big universe.  Shouldn't it feel that way?

And then there's issues with some of the returning characters.  Finn is tied down in the wasteful Canto Bight plot that doesn't do much for him.  Leia spends most of the movie in a coma.  Ackbar is murdered for no reason and with even less fanfare.  Poe gets an expanded role, though somehow it doesn't lead to much character growth.

And I can't forget Phasma.  A character with so much potential yet given such short shrift in both TFA and TLJ.  She feels tacked on in this film, when she could've been given a meatier role given how underwhelming all of Johnson's original characters are.  Which brings me to...

THE NEWBIES

The Empire Strikes Back introduced us to Yoda, Lando, and Boba Fett.  The only memorable addition to The Last Jedi are the porgs.

Johnson gives us three new characters in TLJ:  Admiral Holdo, DJ, and Rose.  There isn't that much to say about them, because, well, they're not very memorable and they're certainly not iconic.  Holdo is a one note character meant to serve as the adversary to Poe.  Her entire role consists of antagonizing him and withholding information.  She's much more interesting in Claudia Grey's novel, Leia: Princess of Alderaan.

I've already mentioned the role DJ plays during Benicio del Toro's criminally tiny amount of screen time, so that leaves Rose.  She's...okay?  Sticking her on Canto Bight certainly doesn't help her.  The most memorable thing she does is interrupt Finn's suicide run and plant a kiss on him, both of which come from almost nowhere.

It really feels like these characters are underdeveloped and the actors are wasted in the roles, and that's a shame.  But then, that's the story of the prequels as well.  It's just that it was less surprising when George Lucas was doing it.

THE WORST MOMENT IN THE LAST JEDI

Luke Skywalker is far from the Luke we remember in RotJ.  At least until the end of the film, when he leaves Ahch-To, joins Leia and the Resistance, and takes on Kylo Ren and the First Order on his own.

Except he didn't really leave Ahch-To, it's a Force projection, and the stress of creating it kills him.  What?

Han Solo's death makes sense given his son's role in TFA.  Luke Skywalker dies because Rian Johnson chose to kill him.  There is not a single reason plot-wise for Luke to die in this movie.  The Sequel Trilogy should not be about killing off a member of the original trio in each film.  And it didn't have to be.  What were they thinking?

When Carrie Fisher passed away, and it became clear Leia was not going to be in Episode 9, that should have convinced the powers that be to change the last three minutes of the film and allow Luke to live.  Yes, he can return as a Force ghost, but that's not the same.  They would've only had to cut Luke's disappearance and a line from Rey and BAM, Luke's still alive for Episode 9.

His meaningless and arbitrary death ruins this film.  (And after they spent a whole film trying to find him, no less.)

THE GOOD

Now that I've rattled off some of the major flaws I perceived in TLJ, let me list some of the good.

The Yoda Scene:  Easily the best moment of the film.

Luke tossing the lightsaber:  A hilarious and unexpected moment before there were too many "hilarious" and unexpected moments.

Hux:  The one minor TFA character Johnson does an excellent job with.  He may be my favorite character in the film.

Rey and Ren:  The development of their relationship is the strongest element of TLJ.

The Caretakers:  See Damon Lindelof's Instagram.

The Porgs: Adorable pests/wookie-fodder.

Luke flashbacks:  We needed more of these.

Artoo: BB-8 is stealing his thunder, but he can still get in a cheap shot.

Threepio: He's also in this film.

Praetorian Guards: That's some good lightsaberin'.

The Cinematography:  Seriously, this movie is gorgeous.

It feels like a Star Wars movie (minus one ridiculous ironing scene).

FAILURE

Yoda tells Luke how failure is the greatest teacher, laying out one of the themes of this film.  The other, a quote played over numerous TLJ trailers, is "Let the past die.  Kill it, if you have to."  Let's explore.

Weeks before Max Landis disappeared from Twitter following sexual harassment allegations, he described how every character in this movie fails:

REY - Turn Kylo - Fails KYLO - Turn Rey - Fails FINN - Turn off tracker - Fails POE - Save Revel Fleet - Fails SNOKE - Kill Rey - Fails LUKE - Train Rey - Fails HUX - Usurp power - Fails LEIA - Escape - Mostly Fails ROSE TICO - Turn of tracker - Fails HOLDO - Evacuate to Planet Secretly - Fails

That's a lot of failure.  Ironically, you can add one more:

RIAN JOHNSON - Make a great Star Wars film - Fails

But this theme is not why TLJ doesn't work.  It's the other one that drags it down.  The whole idea to let the past die.  If this was Episode 9, and Disney was about to start fresh with a new series of Star Wars films, perhaps it would work.  But this is the middle chapter.  The past, especially TFA, should not be killed.  It should define the entire Sequel Trilogy.

After all, this is a culmination of everything in the OT and PT.  The First Order is born from the Empire.  The Resistance is born from the Rebellion (and then turned back into the Rebellion?  Guess you can't let the entire past die, huh?)  Most of the characters come from other movies.  This is their last time to shine.

Johnson subverts expectations too many times in TLJ.  It works at first, with Luke tossing the lightsaber, but by the end, it has become trite.  Rey's parents are nobodies.  Snoke's dead.  Luke's dead.  The entire Resistance can fit on the Millennium Falcon.  (And Kylo Ren’s awesome mask is wrecked.) He's killed the past without building anything for the future.  That's left to JJ in the single remaining film in the trilogy.  Come on!

The Last Jedi is so polarizing because there’s so much to nitpick, whereas The Force Awakens mainly had only one general complaint leveled against it (it was too much like A New Hope).  One fan may be okay with Leia's Mary Poppins scene, while also despising how Luke became a cranky hermit.  Each potential negative has to be overlooked to come out of it with a positive view, but it’s a lot easier to focus and harp on the negatives.  And that's what's happened online, and, yes, in this post.  Also, killing off Luke for no reason was dumb.

Before I go, I want to mention how overrated Looper was.  Interesting concept, but it falls apart at the farm.  And they gave that director a Star Wars film, while taking one away from the guys who did the Jump Street movies and The Lego Movie.  Sigh.

If JJ sticks the landing with Episode 9 and churns out a terrific film, perhaps TLJ can be viewed in a new light.  And opinions do change over the years.  But even though Revenge of the Sith was pretty good, no one looks back fondly at the prequel trilogy.

[choisgirls]

��� HELLO IT'S TIME FOR SPOOKY SHIT™ 🎃 How about the RFA + Saeran messing around with a Oujia Board on Halloween and something fucks up like. it just goes *really* wrong. maybe seven is chugging holy water out of a hbc bag and some of it spills onto the board while they're talking to some dickhead spirit?? Idk just go wild

A/N: Please for thelove of god you guys do not fuck with Ouija boards- they aren’t fun, theyaren’t cute, and they can be very serious

That being said, thisfic? Is not that serious towards them cause i like to mess around so thank you forrequesting this because hey im an asshole sorry my bbys :^)

But that doesn’t meanthat oujia’s /aren’t/ serious, please guys, I’m not kidding okay thank you loveyou *kisses your forehead and sends you off with a cookie*

Word count: 4,835HAHAHHAHAHA please kill me, under a cut it goes

Warnings: uh..cussing? but you know me, that’s… to be expected, right?

Masterlist~

“You know whatwould be hilarious, MC?” you sighed, turning to look at the red head thatsat at the other end of the table, chin sitting on his hands expectantly asgold eyes shined at you.

“No, Saeyoung, Ido not. What would be so funny?” you instantly felt regret asking thatquestion, because you knew in your heart it was going to revolve around somesort of prank-

“This prank Ithought of to do tonight!” and there it was.

You tilted your headwhile simultaneously raising an eyebrow, with a click of your tongue, yougestured for him to go on with this prank of his, knowing you would be suckedin whether you liked it or not. It was Halloween night, and Saeyoung seemed tohave this kink for pranks- though he’s told you time and time again it’s not akink, it doesn’t qualify as one. You still think he was lying.

“Okay, soeveryone’s coming over tonight, right? What if we break out a Ouija board? Iknow I can get a few of them freaked out enough just with that alone, but wecan hype it up! We can fake a haunting!” if his eyes could turn intohearts, they would have been pounding. You already had a bad feeling about thisprank of his, something was bound to go wrong. You weren’t allowed to mess withOuija boards anyway.. right? This has ‘horrible’ written all over it.

“You know youshouldn’t be messing with Ouija boards, yeah? What if something goes wrong-what if it’s real? Haven’t you seen scary movies-” he cut you off byputting a finger to your lips.

“Sshh, MC. Thoseare just that- movies. They’re made up! Fake! Not real in any way, shape, orform! We’ll be fine~” and with a wave of his hand, he dismissed theconversation, running out of the room to finish setting up some spookydecorations for the party and probably gathering whatever he deemed necessaryfor this prank of his. You turned to look at the other red headed boy, quietlysitting at the table this whole time. Fixing his blue eyes on you, offering asympathetic tug at the corner of his lips before also offering a small shrug.

“You know hewould have done it whether you told him no or not-”

“I’m well aware,Saeran, thank you.” You hid your face in your hands before taking in alarge breath. Nothing you would have said could have changed your mind- youknew this. You definitely weren’t ready for tonight. Nobody will be.

—-

“WELCOME TO HELL!AHHAHAHAHA,” the voice boomed through the house surround sound later thatnight- only moments after everyone had gathered into the living room. The groupjumped slightly at the sudden sound, but the fear quickly disbursed when theyrealized the voice belonged to Saeyoung. With a collective sigh, they turn togive the security camera in the corner an uninterested look. “Hey!”he exclaimed over the speakers, “I can’t believe you all saw through mycharade. It was a perfectly spooky greeting!” He huffed into themicrophone when the rest of the group shook their heads in disagreement to hisperformance.

You gestured foreveryone to relax and take a seat as well as grab a snack from the table infront of them. As they all went for snacks, they were met with Saeyoungknocking them out of their hands. With a quick sweep of his arm, everything onthe table was sent flying in the other direction. You stared in disbelief thatthe work you did for the past day flew to the floor, splattering and deemingitself unsalvageable. Replacing your once delicious snacks, was a large, woodenOuija board- following soon after was the planchette. He was really going throughwith this, wasn’t he? And where did he get that board on such short notice?

“I was thinkingall of us could take the opportunity today to talk to those beyond theveil!” the latter half of his sentence was accompanied by the wiggling ofhis fingers. The rest of the group harboured mixed emotions to the news. Youand Saeran already knew Saeyoung was planning something, so neither of you hadthe energy to even amuse him with a fake emotion, while Yoosung lookedabsolutely terrified, Zen seemed a little nervous at the fact the board waseven near him, Jumin seemed to share the same look as you and Saeran-uninterested. If looks could kill, the one Jaehee was shooting in the redhead’sdirection would have set him on fire immediately; Jihyun mustered up a small,nervous laughter as he went along with the idea. Knowing these reactions wereprobably the best he would get, Saeyoung continued. “Now, everyone, gatheraround! Get close! Let’s do this! Saeran, dear  brother, please hit the lights!” With ascoff, Saeran got up to literally hit the light switch. He smacked it hardenough, you could tell he knew exactly what this prank was and he was not happyto be a part of it. The moment the lights went off, you noticed the fact thatthere were several candles lit- how long were those on fire?

“I don’t see howusing a wooden board would allow us to talk to those who have passed,”Jumin stated, moving closer to the board, putting his fingers on the planchettelike Saeyoung had been gesturing. “Can you even speak to those in theafterlife? That shouldn’t be possible.”

“Oh, Mr. Han.Have you not heard of ghosts? The spirits from beyond? The very essence ofthose who-” Jumin threw his hand up to stop the nonsense pouring fromSaeyoung’s mouth.

“Nevermind. I’llgo along with it. The faster we go through this, the faster you will see thereis no such thing, and the faster we can move on to something else,” hesaid with a sigh. Despite being extremely reluctant to do so, everyone else’sfingers joined the planchette. They knew the only way to get past it was tojust… please Saeyoung by joining in this ritual.

“Everyonetouching the marker? Yeah? Okay, now clear your mind and relax!” with anexaggerated shimmy of his shoulders, he lets out a deep sigh before his loudvoice boomed through the room again. “Oh dear spirits from beyond, we lendyou our ears! We welcome you to the RFA! Please, come speak with us!”Jihyun shot him a concerned look- almost like he wanted to tell Saeyoung not toinvite these spirits to join the RFA in case they actually agreed, but kepthimself quiet. Everyone else started to fight to keep their doubts quiet, untilSaeyoung let out a loud gasp- all eyes turned to the planchette slightly movingon the board. “We have made contact! Oh great spirit, what is yourname?” Everyone watched with baited breath as the wooden marker started atthe ’S’, moving to the ‘E’, then to the 'N’, ’D’, 'N’, 'U’, ’D’, 'E’, and ’S’respectively. Throwing his hands up, Zen pushed himself away from the table.

“SAEYOUNG YOUASS, YOU CAN’T PRETEND TO BE A GHOST AND JUST SPELL OUT 'SEND NUDES’. This isridiculous!” he grabbed Saeyoung by the front of the shirt, pulling himclose, his eyes boring into the younger mans. “If you’re going to keepmessing with us, we’re just going to leave.”

“Does that meanyou won’t send the ghost nudes?” Saeyoung muttered under his breath,suddenly waving his hands when everyone started to get up, “Okay okayokay!! I was kidding! Please sit back down, let’s actually try now!” Hegestured for you to hand him something- what were you supposed to do, again? Ohyeah- you grabbed the surprisingly heavy bag of Honey Buddah Chips and handedit to him. “FROM THIS BAG,” he proclaimed, “WE MUST DRINK THEHOLIEST OF WATERS IN ORDER TO TRULY COMMUNICATE WITH THE SPIRITS!”

“Why the hell dowe need to drink holy water from your chip bag, Saeyoung?” Yoosung asked,raising an eyebrow while Jaehee crossed her arms.

“Holy water in achip bag seems to defeat its intended purpose…” she said as she judgedand questioned Saeyoung’s faith once again and watched as he put a hand overhis heart- a dramatic action to show his mock offense.

“Honey BuddahChips are little gifts from God. Please, just take the drink!” Saeyounghanded the bag back to you, throwing puppy dog eyes your way, knowing youcouldn’t resist. You sighed heavily before struggling to take a sip withoutspilling it all on you, passing it off to Saeran who was seated next to you.After shooting daggers at the bag itself, he took a sip and passed it on- therest of the group doing the same with their own looks of disapproval. Once itmade its way back to Saeyoung, he chugged the rest of the bag, spilling quite abit onto the board. The both of you scrambled to dry it off.

“Saeyoung, youidiot! That can’t be good! You can’t mess with things like this!” youhissed at him, trying to pat the board dry. You told him not to fuck with theOuija board. You told him you didn’t want a part of this prank- what in theworld did he have planned next? Once you got the board dry, everyone returnedtheir fingers to the planchette and sit in silence as Saeyoung took in abreath, ready to get down to business.

“Spirits… canyou hear us? Is anyone here with us?” slowly, the planchette started tomove towards 'yes’, and Yoosung let out a little screech. “Haha!Success!” Saeyoung cried out, exaggerating a wiggle of his body to pretendhe could feel the spirit through his body. “Oh spirit! Please, tell uswhat you want! Show yourself! I demand you to do so!”

The candles around theroom started to flicker, blowing out suddenly as an eerie green glow  came from the board accompanying a green fog.The temperature dropped suddenly, the room started to feel like static- justlike the sounds in everyone’s ears. Listening to his friends scream at the topof their lungs, Saeyoung sat back and laughed uncontrollably, wiping a tearfrom his eye. “Oh man! We got you good! Okay Saeran, you can cut off thefog machine-”

He opened his eyes tosee the back of Saeran’s head as he ran out of the room in a panic, droppingthe turned off fog machine to the floor.

The fog grew larger,the wind it created now whipping around the room- a neon green twister formingon top of the board as the room started to fill with loud whispers and hushedscreaming. The group all stumbled to throw themselves away from the board,minus you and Saeyoung. You could see the gears turning on his head and youmoved closer to him, trying to pull him away from the growing horror on thetable in front of him.

“Haha…”Saeyoung laughed nervously, his voice growing higher as his sentence continued,“Saeran, this isn’t funny, you can stop now… We agreed that it would bea simple prank… Come on!” You were able to pull him a little ways awayfrom the table, struggling to get him to his feet to run. Everyone else managedto get up and run out the door, pushing past each other and tripping over theirown feet. You heard the door slam shut and you knew it was up to you to get theidiot off of the floor and figure out how to fix this mess.

Suddenly, there was aboom from within the fog, and the two of you watched in fear as a beam of lightseemed to shoot out of the middle, accompanying this beam were louder moans andhigh pitched screeches- figures that appeared to have faces swirled around,some looked pained, others looked threatening. Frantically, you yanked the redhead to his feet, turning to run from the room- you’ll have to do somethingabout this, but your main goal for the time being is to get to safety. Youwould think Saeyoung would be smart enough to follow you- he has secret agenttraining, shouldn’t his fight-or-flight skills be perfected by now? Apparentlythey weren’t. You here a loud thump and turned to see what had happened- he hadbeen knocked to the floor, this now black and green mass with shadow-like facesnow seemed to form a make-shift claw, grabbing him by the ankle and knockinghim down. It seemed to growl in a low, echoing voice, telling him that he wouldgo nowhere as it started to drag him back towards the board. He was panickingand you ran to grab him by the arms, trying to pull him out of this…. thing’sgrasp. He had to kick frantically at the grip on his leg to free himself,almost knocking you over when he gets up- in fact he accidently pushed you outof the way to run from the room, oh what a brave boy he was. The two of youslam the door shut and he leaned against it, sliding down to sit on the floorwith a sigh.

“That.. thatisn’t a joke anymore, MC. That.. that’s real. That’s scary.. an abomination…a…. a job for real life GHOST HUNTERS!” he exclaimed with a beamingsmile on his face- that you immediately smacked off. He held his cheek with apout, “Ow! And what was that for?”

“THAT! Wasbecause you just HAD to prank everyone. You had to mess around with a Ouijaboard, even after I told you that those things aren’t toys! I told you! And nowyou’re still messing around when there’s literally thousands of angry spiritsin there!” your voice grew higher and higher as your anger rose as well.

“Well, MC, it wasjust a-” You cut him off with a raise of your hand, obvious annoyance inyour face.

“If you fuckingtell me 'it was just a prank, bro’, I will not hesitate to open this door andjust kick you back in there,” you threatened. One look at his face toldyou that he decided to hold his tongue and stand back up, scratching the backof his neck.

“Okay… MC, wehave to get rid of this thing though.. What do we do? I haven’t dealt withghosts before,” he looked at you with hopeful eyes.

Why the fuck did hethink you knew what to do with ghosts?

You pinched the bridgeof your nose and took in a large breath. Sure, you’ll figure it out. There’ssomething you could do, right? ….Right?

…Did the internethave the number for Ghostbusters?

You threw your handout, opening your eyes to look at him once you had an idea. “Okay,listen,” you started out, “This started when you dumped holy wateronto the board, then continued to open the veil, yeah? Well, we need to closethe portal! But that means we need to get back to the board, and at this pointthat is impossible… What are spirits afraid of? Can they really hurtus-” your question was cut off when the point of a large knife flewthrough the door, missing your head by mere inches. Your eyes went wide asthree more wedged into the door at once, “Okay, it can hurt us! It candefinitely hurt us! Let’s go- we gotta go! Move move move!” you shouted,pushing him away from the door and kick starting his sprint down the hallwaymoments before the door was completely covered with the points of sharp knives-when did you all get so many knives?

The two of you burstthrough the closest door in the hall- this thing was definitely going to comeafter you. What the hell did he get you into, you’re too young to die.

“If we make itthrough this, Saeyoung, I’m going to kick your ass,” you yelled, gettingready to throw a punch.

“Don’t punchhim!” Saeran called from his hiding spot on the other side of his bed. Hegot up and ran across his bed, getting ready to jump onto Saeyoung- he had firein his eyes and a snarl on his lips. “I’m gonna kill him myself!” Yousighed and stepped in between the two brothers, shielding Saeyoung and calmingSaeran down.

“You can’t killhim-”

“Thank you,MC!” Saeyoung interrupted, giving his brother a bright smile.

“We need him tohelp get rid of this… thing. Plus, if it comes to it, we can just give him toit and hope it leaves us alone.”

“Yeah! Wait,what? MC!” His smile fell as Saeran stifled a laugh. The three of you satthere for a few moments, racking your brains to come up with a plan. You threwyour hands up in the air in sudden realization.

“Guys, if holywater brought the stupid things to us, shouldn’t we use it to get rid ofthem?” you asked, watching their expressions turn from confused to understanding-you could almost see the light bulbs go off above their heads.

“I have my crosson me… I’m sure we could whip up some holy water right now!” Saeyoungsaid, pulling his necklace out from under his shirt. “But I don’t thinkjust dumping a bunch on the board at once will work… wouldn’t it grab us andkill us before we even got close?” As the two of you tried to work outsome sort of plan to use the holy water, Saeran quietly got up and made his wayto the closet, opening it up to pull out his water gun, staring your way untilyou took notice.

“Saeran… you’rea genius!” you exclaimed, jumping up and clapping to show your approval,Saeyoung had to admit it was a pretty smart plan- after all, he and Saerancould use them pretty well. But you and the redhead needed to get yours fromthe other room- not to mention you had to bless a bunch of water for it. Fornow, the three of you had to make do with what you had. He blessed the watercurrently in Saeran’s gun and told him to cover all of you.

With a quick look tofind the mass of spirits down the hall opposite of you, the group sprinted tothe bathroom down the hall- though it took notice fairly quickly. You keptrunning until you hit the closet a little further- you had to find the gun youhid in there.

Saeyoung stopped atthe bathroom, Saeran standing in the hall between the two of you, watching asthe horror moved closer, the moaning and groaning getting louder. Saeyoung turnon the water to the bath, starting to fill it up so he could bless a bunch ofit at once- but he was interrupted by Saeran’s angry growling at the eeriemass. While the steady stream of holy water from the gun seemed to help, theredefinitely wasn’t enough to stop it completely. It started to stretch and creepinto the bathroom- Saeyoung had to calculate the fastest way past it whiletrying to keep himself safe, but he couldn’t let this thing get his brother.This is when his fight-or-flight instincts finally kicked in, good thing, too.He used his acrobatic skills to tumble over some of the tentacle-likeappendages shooting out at him, sliding underneath others and grabbing hisbrother by the arm, meeting up with you a little ways down the hall.

In the mean time, youhad found the gun in the closet, just in time to see Saeran struggling to holdhis own with this mega spirit coming at him. You stumbled over your words,trying to remember what blessing you needed to recite to make the water in thisgun holy- why, oh why, did you tune out Saeyoung every time he did it? With aquick slideshow of his antics in flashback form- back when you watched himbless things like every chip in a Honey Buddah bag one by one, the goldfishshaped bread he had, even a little figurine he got from a cereal box- yourexpression dropped to an annoyed one and suddenly remembered why you tuned himout. Luckily for you, the boys ran by and you took that as your cue to hand itto him and let him do God’s work. Now the three of you were running, Saeyoungwas blessing a toy gun, and you all were heading towards the kitchen- great.

The three of you had alittle bit of time before the mega spirit reared it’s angry head through thedoorway, and you needed some time to figure out the next move. You ducked downbehind the island in the middle of the room, while Saeyoung hid behind the sideof the fridge and Saeran on the other side of the cupboards. There needed to bea distraction, or none of you were getting out of here. You bit your lip, heartpounding, and pushed yourself to stand up and call out to the beast.

“Hey! Ugly!Yoo-hoo, over here! Yeah hi, here! Come get me!” you teased, ducking downagain when one of its limbs shot out like a whip, cracking over your head.Saeyoung took the opportunity to jump out and shoot at it, turning itsattention towards him while you ran to the other side of the island- Saeranshot at it to take the attention away from his brother so he could move aswell. The three of you seemed to be playing peek-a-boo with the creature until youwere all able to shut it in the pantry and take off down towards Saeyoung’sroom, where the last water gun should be.

All at once, the threeof you duck under the bed, yelling at each other in hushed whispers until youfelt the gun poking at your side. You handed it to Saeyoung and watched asSaeran tried to take it from him.

“I’m faster, I’llrun and fill it up!”

“How are yougoing to do that when I DIDN’T GET TO BLESS THE WATER YET, SAERAN?”

“Will the two ofyou PLEASE shut up and get along? We have bigger problems here, any minutethat.. thing is going to be here, and-”

A strong, yet airylimb wrapped around your ankle, yanking you out from under the bed- youscreeched as it lifted you into the air and hung you upside down. The boysscrambled out and watched in horror as it quickly made its way back to theliving room as you struggled and threw yourself around in hopes of escaping itsgrasp.

Saeyoung was frozen inplace- he heard his brother’s frantic voice, but it was muffled. He justwatched this thing lift and take you away- and in his mind, it finally clicked.He brought this thing in here, despite your warning, and now it took you. Hewas beyond pissed off, now. He took off towards the bathroom, his brother intow. Taking his necklace off and tossing it into the now overflowing bathtub,he recited the blessing as if it were a rap song, impressing even Saeran withhis speed and desperation. Saeran didn’t even bother trying to argue with hisbrother about who could handle the second gun- it didn’t matter now. All thatmattered to the boys was getting you back, and they both clicked intoprotection mode. It had to have been taking you back to the living room- backto the portal, and they had to stop it.

Kicking down thealready broken door to the living room, Saeyoung stared straight at the megaspirit, holding both guns against his hips, anger spread across his features.

“In the words ofsomeone amazing, 'HEY UGLY!’” he started out, watching it turn around toface him, you dangling by your ankle still, “Say hello to my littlefriends!”

If the blood wasn’trushing to your head, you would have groaned your way into next week.

He started to spraythe beast with the holy water, Saeran running in from behind to shoot it aswell. It screamed out in pain, writhing and rolling uncomfortably- dropping youto the floor face first. 'Ow,’ you thought, 'how rude was that?’ By the timethe room stopped spinning due to your now normal blood flow, you saw that theboys both had been lifted into the air- the beat had a hold of them and itsgrip kept getting tighter, it was going to crush them to death. You had to dosomething- you had to end this!

With a deep breath,you pushed against the fog surrounding the board- getting to the board was youronly chance at winning against this monster! You kept moving forward, fightingagainst the wind and you immediately felt your feet raising from the floor. Thecloser you got to the board, the less gravity there seemed to be- but youdidn’t let it stop you. Floating above you was the planchette, you kicked offof the floating table near you to reach and grab it, yet the moment yourfingers wrapped around it, the beast’s attention turned to you- the boys triedto call out only to find the wind being crushed out of their lungs. You heardmore loud screaming to your side, watching the board light up even brighterthan before- as the aura around you started to feel like a vacuum.

'Shit shit shit!’ youthought to yourself, 'I’m going to get sucked into this thing!’

You struggled toswallow the lump in your throat. You had to get to the board and do it fast,which included avoiding getting taken in by spirits… no big deal, right?

Making your way to theboard via some amazing air swimming skills, you grab hold of its side, feelingyour hair starting to be sucked in. Your hair, your side, your whole body hadto struggle to keep itself in place. You got the planchette against the board,success! But this caught the attention of the mega spirit real quick. Keepingthe boys in its grasp, it slithers out another limb, trying to pierce the windssurrounding you and the board. You had to move and fast! It blindly swung atyou, causing you to duck and roll around in the air, fighting to keep thewooden marker against the board. Slowly, you slid it towards the 'Goodbye’,struggling to close the portal in general.

Your grip on the boardslipped, your arm immediately flying towards the portal. You screamed in terroras multitudes of hands threw themselves out of it, grabbing onto your arm andtrying to yank you in to their world. The only thing keeping you grounded nowwas the strong grip on the planchette, but you had to keep moving! With all ofyour might, you move it inch by inch- the hands now grabbing at your legs,clothes, even your face. With hands grabbing at your face, accentuating theangry that it held, you shoved the planchette even closer.

“That’s it! I’mdone with you bastards!” you yelled, “It’s time to go back to Hellwhere you came from!”

With one final burstof your energy, you pushed the planchette completely over 'Goodbye’- the bundleof spirits holding the boys let out an ear piercing, echoing shriek. You couldhear the pain in each and every voice within the monster as it dropped theboys- only to have them levitate due to the energy in the room- and quicklystart to be sucked back to the board one by one. The hands that were onceholding you turned their attention to the returning spirits, letting go of youas the winds pushed you away from the board in general. Once the last spirithad been vacuumed back, the portal closed itself and the three of youimmediately dropped to the floor as well as the furniture with a loud thump.

You guys just laidthere for a few moments, in complete silence, just… breathing. You gotthrough it. This horrifying experience was over, done with. Everything could goback to normal. The three of you could relax.

“You know what wedeserve?” Saeyoung started, “some ice SCREAM!”

“MC, the board.Give it to me. I’m breaking it over his big ass head!” Saeran shouted,pushing himself off of the floor and tripping over his own feet to get to hisbrother. You threw the planchette at him, knocking him in the head before yougrabbed the board and ran over to Saeyoung instead.

“After what I’ve been through, I’m breaking it overhis damn head!”

[milesgaylsprower]

Family Reunion

Also readable on AO3.

Sometimes family reunions happen every year at grandma’s house. Sometimes they happen in the parking lot of some dumpy gas station in the middle of nowhere. For Mabel Pines, who hasn’t seen her brother in nearly a decade, it’s the latter.

              As far as Mabel was concerned, the bathroom she was standing in barely qualified as a bathroom. The tiles were grimy and slick, the mirror broken and graffitied, and, well, she tried to not take in the other details. The stench was enough by itself to make this place a biohazard, and that wasn’t saying anything about the spot of mold on the wall that had definitely winked at her when she came in. But hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. And in times like that, even a run-down gas station in the middle of nowhere was a better option than one of the numerous desert shrubs outside that provided relatively little shelter from the highway. Times like this made Mabel think though: why exactly did she think putting her headquarters in the middle of Arizona would be a good idea? Maybe it was the “middle of nowhere” aspect. After all, it was hard enough selling products with neon animals printed on them without mobs of little girls trying to get free stuff.

              When she had finally relieved herself (of being in that death trap called a bathroom), she returned to the affixed convenience store, clutching the bathroom key between a wad of toilet paper. She chucked it onto the clerk’s counter along with the toilet paper. Outside, a bit of motion caught her attention; an RV had just pulled into the station. As she approached the door to head back outside, she stopped mid-step and realized that she was really really hungry now. When was the last time she had eaten? Shrugging, she spun around on her heels and trotted off down one of the aisles to peruse the snack foods. Most of the food items available were covered with a fine layer of dust. The packaging was written in fonts that Mabel hadn’t seen since her childhood. She scanned the labels for something that looked like it contained the slightest amount of nutrition and wouldn’t kill her if she ate it. A familiar, bright pink label brought her to a halt.

              “Smile Dip, haha. Good times,” she said. Wasn’t this stuff still illegal? She couldn’t remember, but its dubious legal status wasn’t going to stop her from buying some anyway. She grabbed a few packs when the bell above the station’s door rang, though she couldn’t see if the RV owner had walked in or if maybe some poor lost soul had finally made it out of the building. She made her way further down the aisle towards a refrigerated section stocked with cans of old soda and off-color milk. When she rounded the corner, she caught a glimpse of a customer who was studying the selection of beverages. Just as quickly she ducked back behind the shelving, her hand clutched tight against her chest. Thudthudthud. Was that…

              She peeked around the corner and studied the man, who had his back turned to her, for any details she could pick out to be sure it was him. The long-sleeve plaid shirt had been sewn up in places with a lack of grace that only Dipper could manage. His jeans, caked with dirt and dust, called to mind scenes from their teenage years when he would go hunting for monsters in the woods. The hair she could see from beneath his hat looped and curled in an oh-so-familiar way. Then suddenly it hit her – that psychic connection, that intangible bond between twins, was thrust back into her consciousness after having laid dormant for years. Every nerve in her body was tingling; there was no longer any doubt in her mind.

              That slumbering psychic bond must have awoken in Dipper again as well, since he suddenly stiffened and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He thrust his hand into the cooler without looking and grabbed whatever drink his fingers wrapped themselves around. Then he turned and, without even the slightest glance in Mabel’s direction, covered the distance to the cashier in several long strides. He pulled out an assortment of bills and coins from his pocket (was that some Monopoly money Mabel just saw?) and slammed them onto the counter.

              “This should be enough,” Dipper said, still clutching his drink and already making his way out the door.

              Mabel crept out from behind the shelf and said, “Dipper?”

              Dipper tensed even more. “I don’t need any change. Or a receipt,” he said to the clerk.

              Mabel watched Dipper recede through the glass of the door. He was crossing the parking lot to the RV, getting faster with each step as he evolved from a “trying my best to look casual” walk to an “oh man I really screwed up” run. Memories drifted through Mabel’s mind, overlapping with the present scene as she once again watched her brother disappear from her life. No, not this time. This time it would end differently. Dipper might be enough of a jackass to drive away from his sister, but she wasn’t going to let him. She bolted through the door, still clutching the Smile Dip.

              “Hey, you have to pay for that stuff!” the clerk yelled.

              She tossed the snacks back into the store. “They’re out of date anyway!” she said.

              Dipper was already shutting the door to the RV as Mabel ran across the parking lot. “Dipper, don’t even think about starting that rusty bunch of garbage up!” She grabbed the handle of the door and tugged on it, but Dipper had locked it. Her stomach sank.

              “Dipper, open the door!”

              There was no response. She went to the one of the windows and stood on her tiptoes to look inside. If Dipper was in there, he was probably crouched down on the ground like a dork. Mabel returned to the door and wiggled the handle again, hoping that maybe she just hadn’t pulled hard enough the first time. When the door refused to open, she rested her forehead against it and sighed.

              “Dipper… it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Why won’t you let me in?” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I’ve missed you so much…”

              Mabel felt too numb to move. Maybe if she waited long enough, she’d spontaneously develop telekinesis and would be able to open the door by herself. Before she even had the opportunity to discovery her latent psychic powers, the sound of faint footsteps came from inside, followed by a faint click from the door. Lifting her head, she stared at the door handle, waiting for something to happen. When the door remained shut, she reached her trembling hand out towards the handle and took hold. She pulled, gently at first, then harder when she felt no resistance. The door swung open, revealing the dimly lit interior of the RV. She ran her forearm across her face to wipe away the tears, then took a step inside.

              The dimly lit cabin called to mind scenes of Weirdmageddon: an absolute whirlwind of a mess that could have only been made by an omnipotent demon or her brother. Papers and notebooks were strewn across the floor, countertops – any surface that would hold them. Some of the papers had been taped up with pictures and maps in a sort of collage, with strings and thumbtacks connecting them in an incomprehensible web. Sitting on the kitchen table was what looked like some radio equipment and a small laptop that had been scorched at least once in its lifetime. One of the RV walls had been shot through a few times, though Dipper had patched it up from the outside (probably with duct tape). The one space that wasn’t overflowing with clutter was a small bed whose covers had been jumbled up to match the rest of the décor. Near the bed, tucked against the corner of a window, was a photo of Dipper and Mabel from their days at Gravity Falls.

              Mabel said, “Nice place you got here.” Real smooth.

              Dipper chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it does the job.” He was sitting on one side of the tiny kitchen table, clutching its side.

              Mabel stood there, soaking in the silence with her brother, until Dipper finally said, “You can sit. I mean, if you want to. You don’t have to.”

              “Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure,” Mabel said, moving to sit down in the seat opposite Dipper. She stopped when she noticed that the seat was cluttered with more folders and papers. “Should I-” she started to ask, miming the act of picking up the pile.

              “Yeah, just. Just move them where ever you find space,” Dipper said. He rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry about the mess.”

              She gathered the papers up in her arms and let them fall to the floor with a resounding plop. “It’s alright,” she said, taking her seat. Again, the silence enveloped them as they tried to find interesting things to stare at in the RV. It was impossible to tell what exactly Dipper was thinking about, but Mabel had rehearsed this moment in her head for years. Each time it played out differently, but even with all that rehearsal and all of the variations she had conjured up, she was letting the silence between them stretch as long as the void in time that separated their collective lives.

              Mabel took a deep breath, sorting through the tough questions in her mind, and asked… “How have you been?” Great job, Mabel. Starting with the hard-hitting questions.

              “Oh. I’ve been, you know. Fine. But like, good fine. Busy.”

              “I can tell,” Mabel said, taking a look around the RV once more. Some of the things pinned up to the wall dredged up old memories, vaporous images that were all too easily obscured by the clouds of dust that had gathered on them after so many years: memories of journals, of other worlds, of unfamiliar creatures and growing pains and summer. “Looks like you’re still into monsters and ghosts,” she said, her eyes still scanning the cabin interior.

              Dipper forced a laugh out. “Ah, yeah. I guess that’s… sort of what I do? I hunt down paranormal things and… study them. It’s… you know… but hey, what about you? Big time CEO of a major company, that’s incredible!

              Mabel’s attention snapped back to Dipper. How in the world did he even know that? “Yeah, who knew that neon colors and cute animals would be such a hit with this generation?” she said with a shrug.

              “I’m proud of you,” said Dipper, either to his shoes or to Mabel. She was trying to figure out which it was.

              Dipper started to fidget with a pencil. As his arm moved about, his sleeve tugged upward and Mabel caught sight of a tattoo.

              “Hahaha, bro, is that a tattoo?” she said, a bit louder than she had intended.

              Dipper’s face turned red. “Oh. You saw that, huh?”

              “Lemme see, lemme see,” Mabel said, trying her best to lean over the table to get a closer look. The barrier between that had dissolved, if only for a little while, and it was just like old times again.

              Dipper hesitated for a moment before rolling up his sleeve. Red plaid receded and was replaced with a network of arcane lettering and geometric designs.

              Mabel frowned. “No offense, bro, but I was hoping you had gotten something a little less… weird.”

              “It’s… not really supposed to be fashionable,” he said. His voice got small as he said, “It’s for protection.”

              “Protection? From what?”

              Dipper swallowed hard and looked out the window. “There are things out there, Mabel. Dangerous things. Things that you and I can’t even comprehend.” He looked at Mabel, who nodded slowly as if to signal that she already knew this. Dipper said, “And someone has to protect us from those things! Because if someone doesn’t – if I don’t – then I…”

              “Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time?” Mabel interjected. “Is that why you left mom and dad? To go hunting for boogeymen and demons?”

              “No, Mabel, that’s not what… Mabel, I… you just don’t understand! I was doing this to protect you!”

              “Protect me? From what? Dipper, I’ve dealt with things that go bump in the night! I was there, remember?”

              “I just didn’t want you to get hurt!”

              “But I did get hurt, Dipper! You hurt me! Okay? You hurt me.” The tears returned without warning, tumbling down her cheeks and onto the table. “You promised me that nothing was going to tear us apart, but then you got up one day and left without even saying goodbye. Our parents were so worried, Dipper. I was so worried. Grunkle Ford spent so long looking for you but even he started to give up eventually. And then when Grunkle Stan… you didn’t even come, you weren’t even there.” She was trying to breathe normally to maintain at least some shred of composure, but could only manage a stuttered inhalation. She hated the stale air of the RV, hated this gas station, hated that her brother had done this and that there was no going back to the way things were before.

              “Mabel…”

              Mabel clutched her arms to her chest. The anxiety and catharsis that came with confronting Dipper shook her body. “I never understood, Dipper. I always thought that maybe it was my fault that you left, maybe I did something wrong and I didn’t know it. Maybe I wasn’t good enough. And I know I shouldn’t feel that way because I’m not the one who left. You disappeared from my life and you haven’t even said sorry. You never called to see how things were. I wondered where you were every day, if you were okay. And then I find you here, at this shithole of a gas station, and you tried to run away from me. You didn’t even want to say sorry.”

              “I’m sorry, Mabel. I felt like I had to do this. I wanted to do this. And I knew that everyone would try to stop me from doing it – except for you. You would have wanted to come along, and I didn’t want you getting hurt. I didn’t want this to end up like –”

              “Like Bill.”

              Dipper nodded.

              “Dipper, none of that turned out bad in the end.” Dipper opened his mouth to speak, but Mabel raised her hand to silence him. She continued, “I know it could have turned out bad, but it didn’t. We worked together in the end and we did what we always do… you know, be awesome. You’re right Dipper. Even though what you do is dangerous, I would have wanted to be there, by your side. You can’t do everything alone.”

              “I’m sorry, Mabel,” Dipper said again.

              Mabel was beginning to regain her composure, though her sniffles still punctuated the quiet tension that had settled between them. There was still so much Mabel had to say. There were things to share, stories to tell. Things that needed to be patched up. For the first time, Mabel realized the enormity of the task of rebuilding their relationship. From where she was sitting, it felt like an especially hopeless endeavor. Even if they did rebuild there was no guarantee that it would bring her any sense of closure or happiness. But today had been a first step towards mending things and Mabel wasn’t going to let that momentum go to waste.

              “Alright,” she said. “I’m going to help you.”

              Dipper blinked a few times. “What?”

              Mabel stood up and started closely examining the connections that Dipper had made between blurry photos and government documents. She took one of the strings between her finger and thumb and traced its path. “What are you looking for right now? You said you hunt paranormal things, you have to be doing something here.” She looked back at Dipper. “I’m going to help you look for it.”

              “What about your job?”

              She waved her hand in the air. “Please, they can manage fine without me. How hard is it to come up with those designs anyway? You could give a dog a packet of Smile Dip and they’d be able to do my job. Come on, what do you say? Mystery twins?”

              Dipper furrowed his brow for a moment, but then his expression softened. “Alright,” he said, a smile growing on his face. “Mystery twins.”

              “Yes!” Mabel said, punching the air. “Lay it on me, Dippin’ Sauce. What are we up against?”

              “Okay, Mabel. Have you ever heard of an omniscient extradimensional axolotl…”

[that-sci-fi-nerd-blog]

Doomsday

Series: 2

Episode: 13

Writer: Russell T. Davies

Director: Graeme Harper

Plot Summary: Everything kicks off in the series finale, as the Doctor, Rose, and her family are faced by both the Daleks and Cybermen. Cracks between worlds are getting worse, and the Doctor has to try seal the Void to trap all the monsters.

Review: Here we are; ‘Doomsday’, named appropriately considering it is one of the most emotionally harrowing Doctor Who series finales of all time. But let’s start from the beginning…

Similarly to the start of the previous episode, Rose narrates from her perspective, although this time she starts with “this is the story of Torchwood” before repeating “this is the story of how I died”. Despite the persistent ominous tone, this opening arguably gives the audience a slight sense of hope, as we see a shot of Rose on a beach, assumedly after the events of the story have taken place, suggesting she does somehow survive. However, Rose’s emotionless stare into oblivion in said shot implies something truly dreadful is about to occur.

In relation to Rose, ‘Doomsday’ is really the epitome of her character development. Here, we see her at her best and her worst. The former is shown in her total badassery, of which there are a few examples:

 ·    She stands face-to-face with one of the Daleks after it orders her to place her hand on the Genesis Ark and tells it that she destroyed the emperor single-handedly, laughing in its face.

·    Her reaction to the Doctor’s plan to send her to the parallel world and get trapped there is instant refusal – “that’s not gonna happen” – she doesn’t allow other people to make decisions for her.

·    When she returns to the ‘regular’ world using the yellow medallion, some of her first words to the Doctor are “what can I do to help?”; she keeps her cool and focuses on what’s necessary.

·    The very action that causes her to nearly get sucked into the Void is pushing the lever that saves the world by allowing all the Daleks and Cybermen to get banished.

However, the latter is shown in the tragedy which occurs to her, and her inability to do anything to prevent it. It bothers me that the Doctor makes the plan to send Rose into the parallel universe and Pete goes along with it without her consent – I understand that they’re trying to protect her, but she has a right to her own decisions. It’s absolutely awful when Rose is giving a speech to Jackie about how she isn’t going to let the Doctor be alone, but the Doctor sneaks the yellow button on her and sends her into the other world. 

These actions by those who are supposed to care for Rose could have potentially caused a huge rift (pardon the pun) between them, and she is certainly isolated in more than one way; there’s the obvious physical isolation from the Doctor, but also emotional isolation from her family, as is represented in the shot of her sobbing after getting trapped in the parallel world while her family looks on, holding hands. This is mirrored by the shot of the Doctor walking away from the wall that separates him from Rose, utterly alone. Despite this, Rose’s family are still extremely supportive of her, as they pack up and travel to Norway based on a dream Rose had without questioning it, and they stick together as a unit.

Speaking of Rose’s family, let’s discuss their individual roles in this episode. Firstly, we have Jackie, who gains autonomy much like her daughter does, as she manages to escape from the Cybermen by herself, taking advantage of a distraction. She is still a comic character, shown through her continued banter with the Doctor, but experiences her fair share of tragedy in momentarily losing Rose and coming to terms with parallel!Pete.

Jackie and parallel!Pete’s first meeting is equal parts emotional and hilarious. Pete saves Jackie from the Cybermen, and Jackie initially believes he’s another ghost that’s come back, which is simply heartbreaking to watch. However, it’s amusing when Jackie shuts the Doctor up when he starts babbling a scientific explanation, and I love this bit:

Pete: “All those daft little plans of mine, they worked. Made me rich.”

Jackie: “I don't care about that. […] How rich?”

Pete: “Very.”

Jackie: “I don't care about that. […] How very?”

Jackie claims she did nothing with her life, but Pete thinks bringing up Rose was achievement enough – slightly problematic view here with reinforcement of the maternal role, but I appreciate the sentiment. Although Pete thinks it’s a bit weird since they’re not technically husband and wife, he still can’t resist wanting to be with her. 

Parallel!Pete is interesting, because he generally lacks the caring and humble nature which original!Pete had in ‘Father’s Day’. He immediately degrades the Doctor’s authority by making him obey his commands, claiming the parallel universe is “[his] world” (hence the phrase “Pete’s World” which the Doctor later coins), and is apathetic towards the Doctor’s world, saying he’s protecting his world and his world only. Pete cares deeply about Jackie, as his first reaction when the Doctor plans to send the Daleks and Cybermen into the Void is to protect her by sending her to the parallel universe. In contrast with his feelings towards Jackie, Pete consistently rejects Rose as his daughter like he did at the end of ‘The Age of Steel’; it’s incredibly painful when Pete stops Jackie from following Rose and pulls the “she’s not MY daughter” shtick again. Despite this, he’s the one who saves Rose from the Void at the end.

The final person I would consider part of Rose’s family, despite not being a direct relative, is Mickey. He has a more equal relationship with Rose now, as they share a mutual appreciation without either of them being dependent on each other. Rose also tells Mickey that he’s “the bravest man [she’s] ever met”, and looks kind of upset seeing how attached Mickey is to her when she realises he’d “follow [her] anywhere”. Mickey’s relationship with the Doctor has improved too, since they seem to respect one another; he’s even pleased to see the Doctor, calling him “boss” and fist-bumping, and he says to Jake “I told you he was good”, showing that he’s contributed to the Doctor’s shining reputation even though he could have remained bitter.

As for the Doctor, we get evidence of his character development in this episode in addition to Rose. The Cyberleader claims that the Doctor is “proof… that emotions destroy you”, which the Doctor agrees with quite candidly, seemingly aware of his flaws but also not finding shame in emotion. Although the Doctor represses a great deal of his feelings and history, he now appears more open with his affections towards Rose. This obviously culminates in the final scene, which I’ll discuss at the end. However, his actions in deciding Rose’s fate without her having a choice in it are incredibly problematic as I previously mentioned.

The main antagonists of this episode are the Daleks and Cybermen, although the Daleks get a bit more attention considering the focus was on the Cybermen in ‘Army of Ghosts’. The inclusion of both enemies gives opportunity for this tense yet kind of hilarious exchange:

Dalek: “Identify yourselves.”

Cyberman: “You will identify first.”

Dalek: “State your identity.”

Cyberman: “You will identify first.” […]

Dalek: “Daleks do not take orders.”

Cyberman: “You have identified as Daleks.”

They spend this entire scene using insults until they eventually shoot at each other, and after such a short space of time interacting, the Cybermen claim that the Daleks have “declared war” on them. Their battle inside Torchwood just proves how formidable the Daleks are as they mow down lines of Cybermen without being touched.

I’d say the main difference between the Daleks and Cybermen is that the Cybermen want to make everyone look like them, whereas Daleks want to obliterate anyone different to them, although both these methods are ways of removing individuality. However, the Cult of Skaro all have names, which contradicts the Cybermen’s opposition to individuality within their own race. As the Cyberleader says, “Cybermen will remove fear. Cybermen will remove sex and class and colour and creed.” They condone the removal of everything which makes people human and unique, although this does lead to a kind of twisted equality amongst them. On the other hand, Daleks have a strongly elitist attitude, as they kill anyone who isn’t “necessary” to their cause, and they select Rajesh to kill by asking “which of you is least important?” – this shows their lack of regard for any form of life and focus on status. This isn’t such a surprise when considering the Doctor’s description of the Daleks: “Sealed inside your casing. Not feeling anything ever, from birth to death, locked inside a cold metal cage. Completely alone.” 

And so we reach the final scene of the episode, one of the most infamous scenes in New Who: Bad Wolf Bay. The Doctor and Rose’s last meeting, or so it seems, but the rest is yet to come. Firstly, I think it’s sweet how Rose’s biggest worry is the Doctor being alone, not that she’s without him, as this shows how selfless and caring Rose is as a companion. However, she does have a life and a purpose outside of travelling with the Doctor, since she has decided to join Torchwood in the parallel world, which I think is a good use of her skills, and shows that she has gained her own agency now as “Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth.” It was fitting for Rose to say “I love you”, as it’s just a very human thing to do in that situation, and the Doctor’s reaction was relevant to him being alien; the fact he didn’t have enough time to say it in return also made sense, what with the constant sense of urgency and lack of time (ironically) in his life of travels, although it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

Finally, the very end of the episode leading into Christmas special is first of its kind in New Who; Donna ending up in the TARDIS in her wedding dress was nice as a teaser and good for breaking the emotional tension from the previous scene. It was a rollercoaster of a finale, but things always have to move forwards.

Quote: “I’m burning up a sun just to say goodbye.” - The Doctor

[socialattractionuk]

Essential tips for online dating in lockdown (and the pandemic dating trends to watch out for)

Embrace the joy of getting to know each other from a distance (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Being single and actively looking for love in lockdown is strange… mostly because you can’t actually leave the house and meet anyone.

Physical intimacy isn’t a possibility (unless you smooch your housemates), but you can still date amid the coronavirus pandemic – just go to your usual online dating spots and build up the chat until you can meet IRL.

This new normal comes with its own hurdles. There are new dating trends to look out for, new challenges to overcome, and all the emotions of living in a crisis will have an impact.

We chatted to Rachael Lloyd, the relationship expert at eharmony, to get her wisdom on how to navigate these new choppy waters of dating in a pandemic.

Here are her essential tips.

Get creative

No, you can’t just go for after-work drinks or do dinner and a film.

But you can still do proper dates – just think outside the box.

‘Virtual dates don’t have to be boring,’ says Rachael. ‘Use technology to visit a virtual gallery, join a virtual book club or simply watch your favourite Netflix flick together.

‘These activities will be a good barometer for compatibility further down the line and give you the chance to show off a bit of personality ahead of meeting IRL.’

We’ve written a handy guide to a great video date, so do read that before booking in that FaceTime sesh.

Beware the pandem-ex

Rachael says: ‘One in five Brits (21%) have been contacted so far by a former love, a pandem-ex, during lockdown – but it’s best to resist temptation and see the approach for what it is.

‘There’s often a valid reason relationships break up, from a fundamental lack of compatibility to shifting priorities or betrayal.

‘So, if an ex comes virtually knocking stay true to yourself first.’

Video calls are a must (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Embrace being able to get to know each other

Don’t think too much about what you’re missing out on (physical touch). Instead, embrace one of the benefits of dating in lockdown: you pretty much have to get to know each other on a deeper level before you get swept up in snogging each other’s faces of.

Schedule in some proper chat sessions (eharmony has a new video dating function for exactly this, but you could also use Zoom, FaceTime, HouseParty, or even the humble phone call) where you can talk for an hour or more.

Enjoy that oldschool thrill of flirty messages and talking all night. It’s kind of lovely to just talk.

‘While conversation should flow if you have chemistry, don’t be afraid to plan a few conversation topics in advance,’ Rachael recommends. ‘Not only will this help you avoid any awkward silences but allow you to find out exactly what you would like to know about a potential new match.’

Remember it’s okay to be single

If you’re not in the mood to date, don’t force it. Lockdown can be the perfect opportunity for solo time.

Rachael says: ‘Bear in mind being in a relationship isn’t the be all and end all and just because you have extra time on your hands, doesn’t mean you need to be having four virtual dates a night.

‘Instead, a bit of self-reflection may well make you realise that you have been chasing the wrong people, or could actually do with a bit of time on your own.

‘Take things at your own pace and trust your instincts.’

Ditch comparison

You know full well that comparison is the thief of joy, but the temptation to measure your experience up against others’ highlights on social media is even stronger in lockdown.

Remember that for every cutesy date night you see on Instagram, there’s an argument borne out of desperately needing some space from a significant other.

‘Don’t beat yourself up because you see friends or family in happy relationships,’ says Rachael. ‘This will only give rise to more feelings of pressure and dent your confidence.

‘The pandemic has impacted relationships too; couples who have only recently just met have had to move in together with no prior warning and many established couples are getting cabin fever.’

Dating terms and trends, defined

Blue-stalling: When two people are dating and acting like a couple, but one person in the partnership states they're unready for any sort of label or commitment (despite acting in a different manner).

Breadcrumbing: Leaving ‘breadcrumbs’ of interest – random noncommittal messages and notifications that seem to lead on forever, but don’t actually end up taking you anywhere worthwhile Breadcrumbing is all about piquing someone’s interest without the payoff of a date or a relationship.

Caspering: Being a friendly ghost - meaning yes, you ghost, but you offer an explanation beforehand. Caspering is all about being a nice human being with common decency. A novel idea.

Catfish: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.

Clearing: Clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive. You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch. It’s a tough time. Stay strong.

Cloutlighting: Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout. Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.

Cockfishing: Also known as catcocking. When someone sending dick pics uses photo editing software or other methods to change the look of their penis, usually making it look bigger than it really is.

Cuffing season: The chilly autumn and winter months when you are struck by a desire to be coupled up, or cuffed.

Firedooring: Being firedoored is when the access is entirely on one side, so you're always waiting for them to call or text and your efforts are shot down.

Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others.

Flashpanner: Someone who’s addicted to that warm, fuzzy, and exciting start bit of a relationship, but can’t handle the hard bits that might come after – such as having to make a firm commitment, or meeting their parents, or posting an Instagram photo with them captioned as ‘this one’.

Freckling: Freckling is when someone pops into your dating life when the weather’s nice… and then vanishes once it’s a little chillier.

Gatsbying: To post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.

Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation.

Grande-ing: Being grateful, rather than resentful, for your exes, just like Ariana Grande.

Hatfishing: When someone who looks better when wearing a hat has pics on their dating profile that exclusively show them wearing hats.

Kittenfishing: Using images that are of you, but are flattering to a point that it might be deceptive. So using really old or heavily edited photos, for example. Kittenfishes can also wildly exaggerate their height, age, interests, or accomplishments.

Lovebombing: Showering someone with attention, gifts, gestures of affection, and promises for your future relationship, only to distract them from your not-so-great bits. In extreme cases this can form the basis for an abusive relationship.

Microcheating: Cheating without physically crossing the line. So stuff like emotional cheating, sexting, confiding in someone other than your partner, that sort of thing.

Mountaineering: Reaching for people who might be out of your league, or reaching for the absolute top of the mountain.

Obligaswiping: The act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no legitimate intention of meeting up, so you can tell yourself you're doing *something* to put yourself out there.

Orbiting: The act of watching someone's Instagram stories or liking their tweets or generally staying in their 'orbit' after a breakup.

Paperclipping: When someone sporadically pops up to remind you of their existence, to prevent you from ever fully moving on.

Preating: Pre-cheating - laying the groundwork and putting out feelers for cheating, by sending flirty messages or getting closer to a work crush.

Prowling: Going hot and cold when it comes to expressing romantic interest.

R-bombing: Not responding to your messages but reading them all, so you see the 'delivered' and 'read' signs and feel like throwing your phone across the room.

Scroogeing: Dumping someone right before Christmas so you don't have to buy them a present.

Shadowing: Posing with a hot friend in all your dating app photos, knowing people will assume you're the attractive one and will be too polite to ask.

Shaveducking: Feeling deeply confused over whether you're really attracted to a person or if they just have great facial hair.

Sneating:When you go on dates just for a free meal.

Stashing: The act of hiding someone you're dating from your friends, family, and social media.

Submarineing: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened.

V-lationshipping:When someone you used to date reappears just around Valentine's Day, usually out of loneliness and desperation.

You-turning: Falling head over heels for someone, only to suddenly change your mind and dip.

Zombieing: Ghosting then returning from the dead. Different from submarineing because at least a zombie will acknowledge their distance.

  Do you have a story of love in lockdown? Get in touch to share it by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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