#but when you're the dishonest party suddenly it isn't wrong at all | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brandjamaica · 6 years ago

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Have you ever wondered if your man is cheating on you? While there are many different reasons and root causes behind why men cheat, including a lack of self-esteem, a search for validation, emotional and/or physical dissatisfaction, in addition to sheer lust or love for another person, an unfaithful partner can be devastating for any relationship. After all, if your goal is to have a healthy, successful, and long-lasting connection, being able to fully trust your partner is at the very heart of letting him into your heart. So if you suspect that he's cheating on you, it's important to look for these 13 clear-cut warning signs of an unfaithful man. Consider this your cheat sheet.

He acts out of character

You probably know your man backwards and forwards. You know how he acts when he's happy, when he's angry, when he's stressed, when he's tired, when he's bored, and even when he's hungry. However, one of the defining characteristics of a cheating man is that he acts out of character, and his once typical and predictable behaviors, actions, and routines start to switch. For instance, perhaps he'd always be glued to the television during football games refusing to miss a play, but now he's off in the other room with the door closed. Or maybe he used to look forward to hosting dinner parties and game nights at your place, but now he doesn't want people coming over. You may even notice subtler changes, such as when and where he charges his phone, the amount of time he spends in the bathroom, and an increased length in his commute to and from work. Since you know how your man typically behaves in many situations and have clear insight into the different nuances of his personality, any deviations from this norm should be a wake-up call that he may be unfaithful.

He cares more about his appearance

Since one of the major indicators of an unfaithful man is changes in his behavior, this is even more apparent when it comes to his focus on his appearance. Is your man suddenly very concerned with his looks when he previously couldn't have cared less? Does he now buy designer clothing, wear pricey cologne, and/or place a huge emphasis on working out when this never even crossed his mind in the past? When your man suddenly becomes extremely interested in – or even obsessed with – his appearance, such as dying his hair, getting spray tans, whitening his teeth, and even getting plastic surgery, this personality shift out of left field can indicate that your man may be playing the field. And while some of these changes can appear positive at first, when your man's intense focus on his looks seems to happen from out of nowhere and he hasn't filled you in as to why, this might mean that something's happening behind your back. After all, when it comes to making significant modifications in personal priorities and behaviors, there's typically an inspiration or incentive that's motivating this change in the first place. And if you can't account for the reasons behind your guy's personality shift, you're not wrong to suspect that something shifty is occurring.

He's overly complimentary

While it may seem counterintuitive, another sign of a cheating man is that he's overly complimentary of you. And while this extra praise, attention, and admiration may make you feel incredible, too much of it should raise a red flag. Why is he now so inclined to incessantly shower you with compliments? Was he always so flattering and appreciative of every little thing you did? When his praise for you becomes excessive and over-the-top, he might be attempting to throw you off the scent so you'd never surmise that he was cheating. To that end, this overly complimentary nature is also a tactic that he may use in front of your friends and family in the hopes that no one would ever suspect that he was doing anything behind your back. In addition, when it comes to this type of personality shift in which your man suddenly becomes a compliment-spewing machine, it's important to keep in mind that this behavior may stem from guilt. In fact, one survey revealed that 66% of unfaithful men feel guilty about cheating. So in reality, by attempting to make you feel good with his constant praise, he's actually trying to make himself feel less bad about his actions. And if he can convince you and your peers about what a terrific guy he is, then maybe he'll be able to convince himself of this as well.

He acts more distant

On the flip side, another powerful indicator that your man is cheating is that he pulls away from you and the life that you have together. Do you feel as though he's stopped paying attention to you and constantly ignores you? Perhaps he used to make you a top priority, always listening to you, supporting you, and being fully engaged in what you were doing and saying. But now, it seems as though he couldn't care less about your needs, wants, and desires. To that end, he's also completely distracted and disinterested in the people, activities, and pastimes that used to matter to him. It's not surprising to find that when men cheat, they're so busy directing their energy, attention, and focus elsewhere, namely to themselves and the other person who's now in the picture, that they become less interested, concerned, and invested in you, your well-being, and the events in your life as a couple. Maybe you've had to repeat yourself on multiple occasions, or perhaps you sense that your guy isn't entirely present, even when you're together. If your partner is acting distant, it's not a far-off possibility that he may be cheating on you.

He's less intimate with you

To that end, this type of distance is not only emotional, but physical as well. If you've noticed that your once healthy and blooming sexual relationship has become a thing of the past, this behavior can also be indicative of a cheater. In fact, it's been found that even when some men are in happy and fulfilling relationships, they still have a proclivity to cheat. With this in mind, if your once frequent and fulfilling intimate time together now occurs less often and/or your partner seems rushed, distracted, and disinterested, take it to heart that this man may be toying with your heart. After all, since he's off sowing his wild oats elsewhere, he doesn't have a real need, desire, or interest to be close and intimate with you as well. Plus, he may view his other sexual excursions and endeavors to be more appealing due to the fact that they're happening under a lure of secrecy. So if you're finding that your man is pulling away from you, he may be trying to pull one over you.

He accuses you of cheating

While it may seem surprising, a common characteristic of a cheating man is that he accuses you of cheating on him. In fact, it's been shown that people tend to accuse their accusers of what they're doing as a way to deflect blame and guilt. And if your man insists that you're the one who's being unfaithful or if his response to cheating inquiries is that you're the person who's doing him wrong, this could a sign that he's been cheating on you. After all, if someone accuses you of something that you're not guilty of, you would do everything in your power to rebuff, disprove, and discredit the accusation with clear-cut facts. On the other hand, if you were actually guilty, one way to try to absolve yourself from blame and avoid having to take the fall is to flip the argument back at the other person, no matter how ridiculous it may sound. So if he starts playing the blame game and throwing accusations in your face, it could be because he's playing games behind your back.

He lies to you

One of the most quintessential qualities of a man who cheats is that he lies to his partner over and over again. After all, cheating men have to cover their tracks, and that means lying about who they're with, where they are, what they're spending money on, as well as who they're calling, emailing, and texting, just to name a few. In fact, for many guys who cheat, their life ends up turning into one big lie, and they're left making up stories, events, and happenings in order to keep their indiscretions under wraps. And in many cases, this means fabricating and falsifying the truth to a point where it's practically unrecognizable. However, there are certain signs you can look for that can help you to decipher fact from fiction, and that means paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues. For example, when people are lying, they typically repeat certain words, almost as though they're reciting lines in a script, in the hopes that their point will come across to the listener. After all, making something up on the spot can be complicated and difficult, so people who lie tend to stick with key, go-to phrases to keep things simple. On the flip side, when people lie, they sometimes overshare the amount of information that they provide and give way more detail and specifics than would ever be necessary. They do this in order to seem more honest, transparent, and believable, but in reality, it's overkill. Further, in addition to what people tend to say when they lie, it's also important to take note of how they're saying it. Specifically, when people lie, they have a tendency to touch or cover their mouths when they talk, almost signalling that they're holding something back. People are also inclined to sway, fidget, and even shake nervously when they're being dishonest, so it's imperative to look for any movements that seem anxious and unnatural. It's also believed that when people lie, they tend to look to the right while they're speaking – perhaps because they know that they're in the wrong.

He picks fights

Many times when a man is cheating, he looks for ways to stir up arguments, squabbles, and disagreements with his partner, and there are many reasons behind this fight-driven phenomenon. In the first place, many men who cheat are looking for ways to distract their partner and prevent them from figuring out what's really going on behind their backs. So by picking fights, men are able to divert their partner's attention to other topics in order to throw them off the scent. Whether it's a disagreement about cleaning up the bathroom, walking the dog, or picking up a prescription at the pharmacy, these small, petty, and seemingly insignificant fights and quips are meant to cover up big indiscretions. Additionally, when a man is prone to pick fights with his partner, this can also be a sign that he wants her to pull back and disengage from him and the relationship. After all, if your man starts treating you poorly, is critical of the things you're doing, and becomes argumentative, ill-tempered, and unreasonable, it's not uncommon that you'll want to withdraw from the situation. In fact, men who pick fights are then able to use that as an excuse to "walk out" on the argument so that the real issue never has a chance to come out. Many guys even use this desire to cool off after a fight as an opportunity to leave and spend time with the other object of their affection. Further, when people are under a great deal of stress and pressure, they also tend to be more irritable, testy, and quarrelsome. And when a man is trying to hide the person he's seeing on the side, being stressed out is a common side effect.

He calls you by the wrong name

Another major indicator that your man is cheating on you is that he inadvertently calls you by the wrong name. Also known as a Freudian slip, this is an instance in which a person ends up saying out loud what he or she's unconsciously thinking. And for a man who's cheating on his partner, it's not uncommon that the name of the person who's the new apple of his eye ends up popping out of his mouth, sometimes at inopportune times. To that end, research has shown that situational stressors can cause Freudian slips, so when your guy's conscious mind is preoccupied, distracted, and nervous when he's around you, his unconscious mind is able to let loose. And when this happens, it's likely that the name of the person he's trying to suppress ends up coming out front and center.

He frequently condemns cheating

In many instances, when a man is being unfaithful, he goes out of his way to condemn and denounce the act of cheating as much as possible. In psychology, this concept is known as reaction formation, and it's when a person becomes overly obsessed with an idea, concept, or belief that's actually the complete opposite of his or her real thoughts and feelings about the issue. In the case of a cheating man, he may be so outspoken about his condemnation of cheating that it's actually a defense mechanism and coping tactic for his own indiscretions. This reaction formation helps him deal with and manage his own inner-conflict, and by being so openly and forcefully opposed to cheating, he's trying to convince others, as well as himself, that he's not really a cheater. So if you've noticed that your man is consistently finding ways to tell you and show you how fervently he's opposed to cheating, it's possible that he's a cheater himself.

He wants his privacy

A classic sign that a man is cheating on you is that he suddenly has a new need for privacy. You may notice that he's taking his calls in the other room, clearing his browser history on the computer, as well as deleting his text and Facebook messages. This is due to the fact that when men cheat, their ability to maintain their privacy is an important part of keeping up the illusion of their innocence. In many cases, men who cheat end up creating their own private world, with secret usernames, email addresses, social media accounts, hidden apps, and even separate phone numbers, bank accounts, and vacations. In fact, a 2012 survey by BullGuard, a mobile and online security software company, revealed that 20% of men have a secret email account that their partner doesn't know about, and this email account is often used to correspond with an ex, a fling, and/or other secret online acquaintances. Additionally, 25% of men admit to using unique and complicated passwords for their email and social media accounts in order to prevent their partner from having any access. So if you've noticed that your man wants his privacy more than ever before, consider that he might be cheating on you.

He spends time with friends who've cheater

A man's friends can give you clear insight into his character, priorities, interests, and pastimes. And while you can't control who your man is friends with, it's interesting to note that a man who cheats typically hangs out with other men who've also cheated. In fact, research has shown that nearly 80% of men who cheat have a close friend who cheated. After all, not only is this one more thing that these men have in common and can discuss openly with one another, but they also share a similar bond, understanding, and attitude regarding cheating in general. Further, having friends who've cheated can also help your man validate, justify, and deal with his own unfaithful actions since he's close with others who've gone through similar situations.

He makes you uneasy

When it comes to men who cheat, there's a certain type of unsettling and disconcerting feeling that these men can end up generating in their partners. And while these men may do everything in their power to hide their cheating, their words, actions, and behaviors can instill a sense of uncertainty, uneasiness, and doubt in their partner. And in many cases, women can pick up on the fact that something is off, even without tangible proof or hard evidence. This concept is known as "gut feel," and it occurs when a person intuitively senses in the pit of his or her stomach that something just isn't right. Women who are being cheated on can often feel that something sinister is happening, simply because of pure instinct. In fact, it's been said that women may have a stronger ability to hone into their gut feelings than men do because of a woman's innate ability to read others. So if you're sensing in your gut that your man is being unfaithful, have faith in your instincts and intuition and do everything in your power to unearth the truth.

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