#but when shit happens if you can let yourself change; that serenity prayer shit and find an ease into new normals

[phemiec]

I would like to echo the last anon you got, absolutely focus on your health and your happiness!!! What you’ve already created is AMAZING, and you’ve already made such a huge impact on a lot of people with it. We’ll all be happy to hear anything else you come out with if you ever do, but i feel like I speak for a lot of people when i say, we care more about your well being than any future work.

Also, I definitely relate to the desire to create when it’s just out of reach. I love music to the point that i got a degree for it, but after college my hands gave out on me and i can’t play my main instruments without pain. It hurts my heart, but I’ve been trying to find alternatives, maybe learn a new instruments that doesn’t require the same muscles. It will be a struggle, but sometimes finding other routes to happiness can bring lots of unexpected joy along the way.

That’s very sweet!! Thank you very deeply to you and everyone who sent me similar sentiments :’)

as for the second part, I agree and I think it’s an Important and very true bit of reassurance for creatives out there who find themselves with physical/mental/financial limitations to their creative process, sometimes it can feel very disheartening, but I think often working within limitations can provide new and interesting avenues you might not have considered. Without access to my normal singing voice I’ve experimented a lot with with my Ugliarchy/instrumental/electronica music, which has been really fun and freeing.

sometimes life forces you in an unexpected direction, and it might suck, but if you keep an open mind and focus on what you can still do sometimes you can really surprise yourself with the versatility and adaptability of your own creative spirit. It’s life affirming to know that both you and your art are capable of surviving change.

[publicnym]

Adulting

I’m thinking lately about what it means to be an adult and how I can be a better one. A lot of what I dislike about myself relates to my own emotional immaturity. I’m just going to read through some articles about what it means to be an adult and think about how I can improve in a lot of those areas.

What is adulthood?

From an anonymous contributor on the Atlantic article:

���I think the answer to "when do you become an adult" has to do with when you finally have acceptance of yourself.  My patients who are trying to stop time through menopause don't seem like adults even though they are in their mid-40s, mid-50s.  My patients who seem secure through any of life struggles, those are the women who seem like adults.”

Which brings to mind the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Other things from these articles that seem to ring true:

-  people who’ve committed to an identity (and/or have identified a “purpose”) are more likely to see themselves as adults -  “taking care of people, taking care of things, and taking care of yourself”

So: courage, endurance, self-acceptance seem to stick out.

How do you effectively self-actualize? (Big dump of things)

1. Uphold social responsibility:

a. if you do something, do it well b. 3 sieves of Socrates: only say things that are confirmed true, good, or necessary (and only care about those things) c. always think “how would I feel if this happened to me?” - don’t be a jerk d. “be the house people want to visit” - be the person you need  e. be on time/keep your promises f. confront others instead of complaining about them, generally don’t whine uselessly without thinking of a solution g.  don’t manipulate others to get sympathy

2. Move forward and grow: a. differentiate between “can’t” and “won’t” b. growth mindset: failure is not an identity, it’s step 1. let go of shame from your past (ability to do so is a sign that you’ve grown) c. take care of yourself  d. take responsibility for your life instead of falling back on a victim mindset: “I’m here now, this is what I have, this is what I can do” e. don’t compare yourself to others. respect others without needing their approval f. don’t take shit from people and respect yourself (and consider what makes you worth respecting)  g. ask questions at work, think critically about the right way to do things, come at things from a fresh perspective. don’t be afraid to ask questions h. choose “interesting” when choosing between interesting and predictable (you’ll grow more and have better stories) i. “live” things in your mind before actually doing them (as a carrot) (I don’t see how this one helps, honestly - more likely to make me not do things I don’t want to do. maybe this is for rehearsing the “after” part of what you really don’t want to do?) j. let go of continually seeking direction from others k. don’t be embarrassed or blame others - face up to yourself, enjoy what you enjoy and own your failures

Integration

So, what do I think a good adult is? They have a balance between focus on self and focus on others (I’m quite self-focused - obviously). Yes, I care about others, but always from a perspective where I’m somehow involved.

Practices I can rip from this:

1. While talking or considering what to say, think: “Is this confirmed true? Is this good/kind or necessary?” If it passes, then say the thing, otherwise stay silent. 2. Meditate on what kind of person you need around or would want to be around. What do they like, care about? What do they say, how do they act? 3. When thinking something is too hard or undesirable, consider what life would be like after that thing happened. If things have improved, probably do the thing. 4. When experiencing embarrassment or shame, think, from an outsider’s perspective: what should have happened? 20 years from now, the person who did this was another person. Say in your head something like, “Failure is not an identity - it is always step 1.” 5. When considering another person’s failure, simulate their shame and follow the steps in 4 to coax yourself out of it exactly as though you had failed. 6. When feeling tempted to complain about someone being irritating, short-sighted, or ignorant, consider carefully how you could express their shortcomings to them. Read over what you wrote and imagine you had received that feedback, and edit it to be more helpful. (Then maybe never send the feedback.)

Sources: articles ripped out of top 10 results from Google.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201702/8-ways-be-adult

https://www.wikihow.com/Become-an-Adult

https://www.parent.com/20-things-i-want-my-children-to-know-as-they-enter-adulthood/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/01/when-are-you-really-an-adult/422487/

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-become-an-adult

https://www.blinkist.com/magazine/posts/how-to-navigate-the-real-world-your-guide-to-being-an-excellent-adult

[vieuxnoyesrp]

Krys. We’re really not sure whether you’re the angel answering our prayers or the devil who appears a day after her name is spoken in good company. We’re not about to look a gift-horse in the mouth however, especially given the fact that you totally nailed this application once again. We can claim that came as a surprise, but it wouldn’t be true given how effortlessly you played Jackson the first time around too. That said, your numerous and varied headcanons were an absolute delight to read and brought us even deeper into Jackson’s psyche. Everything was spot-on, and we’re very happy to have you in the group once more!

Krys, thank you very much for applying. As for Jackson…

                      ⚜ ~ WELCOME TO VIEUX NOYÉS!!! ~ ⚜

Wondering what to do next? Click here and let the good times roll!

⚜ ROLEPLAYER:  

⤜ Name/alias: Krys

⤜ Pronouns: she/her

⤜ Age: 28

⤜ Timezone: CST

⤜ Activity: 7/10 - i work about 40 hours a week but that work happens to be on a computer so it gives me some leeway with how often I will be able to post. Yay new jobs!

⤜ Best form of contact: skype, tumblr

⤜ Any Triggers? nada

⤜ How did you find Vieux Noyés?

I have role played here before buuuut before that i know one or two birds that got me interested real quick.

⤜ What drew you to the RP?

The in depth plot, the intricate map of characters and the new ways to explore characters from the shows that would be fresh and original.

⤜ What is one subplot/element from the Plot page that you are particularly looking forward to seeing in this roleplay?

I’m excited for a few different things going on here. I am really interested in seeing how the salem way of magic disrupts the ancestral way. Not being tethered to the whims of the old would probably be incredibly freeing if the witches of the french quarter are willing to embrace it. Another thing i am really interested in [consider me biased] but the were plot and how it can unfold. Having multiple types of were and new wolves trying to figure out their place among packs that are in their own form of turmoil is huge. I think it would be something fun to flesh out and really see how everything will turn out.

⚜ DESIRED CHARACTER: JACKSON KENNER

⤜ Why do you want this character?

Jackson Kenner is the love of my life. I would marry him so of course I want to play him. No but seriously he is a character that has a lot of depth to him. There are many different things that are playing in his head. As an alpha there is a responsibility on his shoulders but as a man there are certain things he would want to see play out that may be in conflict. He has to stand tall and be strong but he can’t be too iron willed. There is a balance he needs to find and i think for a little while now he has been struggling to find it. On the outside he probably seems like he has got his shit together but on the inside there is so much turmoil… I can tell.  

⤜ What are your future plans for this character?

For him it’s that inner battle that I want to see. I want to see him struggle. I want to see him hate so strongly that it is nearly blinding but he has to pull himself back. Because above all else he wants peace. He wants his pack, his family, his friends, he wants them all to have a better life. Now that isn’t saying the life they have isn’t something he enjoys but being sequestered off in the damn bayou in pain of death.. That sure isn’t what he had planned for his people when he stepped up and took the alpha mantel.  In a way that incredibly simple want is going to be the hardest thing for him. He has vampires on one side who happen to be old ass grudge holders that may or may not still be pissy as shit even when he hadn’t been involved with the bullshit in the first place. The other side is the potential weres that are angry. The ones that want a better lot in life but they’ll be damned if they don’t take it with bloody fingers.

In my opinion it is the perfect scene of being stuck between a rock and a hard place, that is what I want to explore and exploit. His inner battles, his guilt, his anger, and even a certain amount of loneliness. The push and pull between him and Hayley is also something I want to dig into. I want to see how they differ and how they are similar in opinion. I feel like fundamentally they want the same thing but it is how they will go about getting it that will have them standing apart.

⤜ Put yourself in your character’s shoes. Give us a few lines to describe a day in the life of your character… Where do they live? Where and how do they spend their time?

He rises before the sun. mostly for the peace and quiet but there is a part of him that enjoys it for nostalgia. It’s a part of the day when things are still. The parts when he can still see their old life before the battles and wars. Before curses and death threats. A simpler life. For that first hour and a half he has an inner peace that he can keep for the rest of the day. From there on out his day is spent making sure things get done around the bayou. Taking care of the pack and the little ones. His favorite moments are when he can take a second to show one of the younger ones how to track an animal or to skin and clean one. Little pieces of the bayou that he can remind himself that while they are forced to stay he probably would have chosen to be away from the city on his own terms. Of course he avoids the city at pretty much every cost, rarely ever stepping foot in unless he has something that needs to be done and there is no other way to do it.

After his time of reflection he may had up to Laplace to check his PO box or he will work on a woodworking order that he took for something custom made. It pays well enough and even werewolves need to make a living. Most days before he can even blink, it is over. The sun is setting and his body is ready to relax. They eat around a campfire or at least cook over it and eat in one of the built halls he took his time in making sure still stood. He spends his day around family friends. Honestly he doesn’t complain much unless he had to play peacekeeper between overly aggressive wolves all day. That is a bit of a bummer.

⤜ Give us three headcanons regarding your character of choice.

There is extreme guilt on his heart for the loss of the Hale pack. While the situation had been far more complicated than any outsider would know, he still thinks about it daily. Every time he sees Cora his heart is weighed down by shame.  They may have been distant but they were still his people. Wolves that died because he could not help them.

As a kid his parents took life in the bayou seriously. It wasn’t just because of whatever fears they had but it was giving Jackson a portion of his heritage. Hunting was something he was taught practically from the moment he could walk. There isn’t a better tracker south, west or even east of the mississippi. He still hunts now for a little bit of solace. It soothes him most days and it helps him thinking about life when it wasn’t turned upside down. Little reminders help him through the weeks.

His mother is the reason he has such a way with controlling himself. She was an unturned wolf and wanted to see him have control in such a way that many of the other wolves his age didn’t. To this day Jackson still doesn’t think that it was meditation but it was certainly something close to it. ‘One with the world’ is what she called it. Something about knowing where he was and where he had been would be what helped him find a center when other people couldn’t. He never thanked her enough for that. He has seen wolves lose themselves and he never wants to be that.

Good ol’ southern boy. Yeah that is a very good way to describe him. His music taste goes from bluegrass to real twangy country. His drink taste ranges from cold beer to a damn fine whiskey. Some days all he wants is a cold drink and someone playing music for him to close his eyes to.

That curse hadn’t always been a curse in his mind. They were trapped as wolves, yes. Taken from their lives in a way, yes. For his people it had been something they had never wanted but for him, in the end, Jackson saw it as something he welcomed. When he was young, his parents ingrained in him that being a wolf was precious. Turned or unturned. You belonged to a people that would bind you stronger than other bonds. It was sacred to him in his own mind and when he had to live as one completely without the moon pulling at him it was - serene. Once he got over the spitting rage he found a simplicity in it. It was in so many ways far more simple than being a normal person was.

Other than hunting his father was always good with his hands and it was something he passed down to Jackson. While he mama made sure he could sew a little tear in his own clothes if he had to, his daddy taught him how to pulled things. From big to small. In another life he could have made a living as a contractor and honestly he thinks about it some days. Woodworking is a part of him. Whittling small figures, building doors, shaping boats, strapping together docks and pretty much whatever else the bayou needs. It’s the way he gets some spare cash for his people’s needs. A bit of a handyman. Flannel and muscles included.

⤜ What are some plots you’d like to explore with your character?

This is gonna pull a lot from the plans of how I am going to play with him. I want to explore just how far he would be willing to go for his people. If that means trying for a strong truce with vampires or involving other weres or creatures. Or it could even mean going behind Hayley’s back and not involving her in the decisions he could make? Could that mean he takes on a strange twisted form of Machiavellian thinking or would he be willing to stand his ground and lose his people? Would it come to such an extreme?

I’m als really excited for the Hales portion of it all. The loss of that pack tore a piece of him away. Just another nail in the coffin of his own inner guilt. I want to explore how that changed him and how it changed the way he would interact with other weres or packs. I could definitely see it being a slight voice in the back of his head always reminding Jackson of what happened the last time he didn’t couldn’t help. It weighs on him and his relationships. Very specifically on how he would approach them. Look i just wanna see him react to his guilt and see how and if he can push through it.

Okay now let us  talk about Mary Sibley and those witch bitches from Salem. I want to toy with that instinct that has a soft whisper in the back of his head. I think it would be a lot of fun to have him question his own instincts. For so long he had been able to rely on them without any doubt but now with the whispers and the potential rift that could form between him and Hayley with the pack, I think that could push his mind in all sorts of directions. Now, if that means it gets him in trouble or if that means he gets to have that moment of clarity that yeah, trust no bitch.

I pretty much just want to strip him down to his emotional bones [still] and see how he builds himself up again. Or if he honestly can. Who is he without his pack? Who is Jackson Kenner?

⤜ Para sample:

(Redacted for privacy)

⤜ Would you like to be considered for another character if not accepted as your primary choice? Vincent Griffith/Finn Mikaelson but I love him as his real self the most, Mercy Lewis, Kol Mikaelson [yep that is three but the more you know]

⤜ Have you read the rules?: sure did

⤜ Anything else? Hello, is it me you’re looking for? Okay we have met before… a few times and i love you guys but i made 3 playlists [x] [x] [x] for his gentlemen since last I played him [also his link on my blog [x]]. I miss him and I miss ya’ll and blaaaah…. I have already been lurking long enough. It was time to see if I still had the Jackson Mojo

[singingunderthecurtain]

Somewhere In My Sleep Part 3 (Kyungsoo Series)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)  Mini Masterlist

Author: @julietsoddeye AU: Cannon/EXO Universe Genre: Fantasy | Fluff | Smut | Angst Pairing: Do Kyungsoo x Unnamed OC (Iris) Trigger Warning: Nightmares, Probably wrong representation of Greek Mythology, Mythical and Evil creatures. Word Count: 1,701

Plot: You were given the ability to Astral Project (Out of body experience) by a deity and you meet a faceless soul of a woman in the 4D world who guides you through the experience. But you are given only 1 hour of your day to ‘spend time’ with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo sometimes remembers you, but it’s mostly hazy since his job being an Idol doesn’t give him the most peaceful sleep. You and Kyungsoo met accidentally one day and he becomes curious of you.

The sudden itchiness is unavoidable. I tried scratching my skin but I don’t know why my hands are not moving. I can now feel my skin crawling because of the itchiness and I’m pretty sure my skin is red by now, I tried moving my head to see my body but my gaze from my bedroom’s ceiling is locked.

Am I dreaming? Was this another weird dream? Or am I being paralyzed in my sleep? I haven’t experienced paralysis in a long time ever since I started sleeping early, but is it being triggered because I came back to work earlier than my doctor advised me?

“Don’t worry child, just focus on what you want to do and you can do it.” A soft feminine voice spoke. I can hear it all around me, ringing inside my head.

My body suddenly became numb, the burn from the itchiness is now gone. But soon whimpers, cry, screams and evil laughter come. Some are calling out my name, asking me to save them from the misery they are living in.

“Help me!!!” I screamed out in between the different sounds in my head.

“Just focus on my voice, my child. Do not be afraid.” I heard the voice of the woman again. Of all the robust voices and noise in the background, hers was the only one who sounded sincere.

I closed my eyes and counted to twenty slowly. Only focused on the female voice who continued to sing a lullaby. My aunt was the one who taught me from a young age to count to twenty and focus on her voice whenever her husband comes home drunk and angry.

Even when he’s beating her up to a pulp, her voice still remained calm and collected for my sake. After my countdown, she would be crawling limply to where I was and hug me tight, crying while she held me in her weak arms. And I would fall asleep as she hums me a sad song with her unstable breathing.

“Seventeen… Eighteen… Nineteen… Twenty…” I said the last number softly and suddenly I felt myself get lifted high up. Flying freely as the cold but comfortable air hit me everywhere.

I opened my eyes and found myself floating around my bedroom. The horrid sounds for different entities are now gone except for her beautiful lullaby. I looked every now and I found her floating closely beside me. I cannot see her face as she has none, but I can tell she’s beautiful. She was glowing, lighting up my dark room.

I accidentally looked at my bed and I saw myself lying there. My chest pumping up and down with steady breathing. I looked peaceful and happy in my sleep. No sign of stress from what I always see in the mirror everywhere. My eyes widen with the sudden realization.

“Am—Am I dead?” I looked at the woman beside me; she held my hand and took me with her as we flew away from my apartment. I closed my eyes, prepared for the collision that never came.

“Child, open your eyes. You are free now.” I heard her voice again, ringing everywhere in my ears. I did as instructed and we are now high above into the night clouds, the city lights of Seoul under me was breathtakingly beautiful. I was never afraid of heights, so I ‘m not worried about that right now. And I’m dead after all, no need to be scared.

“Beautiful!” I said with a sigh full of admiration flew out my mouth.

“Not as beautiful as your soul, my child. This is nothing compared to what I see in you.” She floated gracefully around me and I follow her every move.

“Who are you?” I asked suddenly and she stopped her dancing in the air.

“I am your spirit guide into the Astral Plane. I’m here to teach you everything you need to know about this dimension we are both in.” She explains with her serene voice. She stopped for a few seconds before talking again.

“I was sent by the deity who gave you the ability to remove your Astral Body from your Physical Body.” She added.

“You mean the Greek Mythology God Dionysus?” I ask again but with a soft voice this time. “Wait, I’m not dead?” I added with a surprise expression in my voice.

“There is no such thing as a myth, my child. Everything exists, even Unicorns.” She said, completely ignoring my follow up question.  I can tell she is smiling brightly even though physically she doesn’t have a face.

“U—unicorns?” I gasped as I said the word. I felt silly and childish just mentioning the word ‘unicorns��.

“Child we have all the time to discuss other things, for now, where do you want to be?” She suddenly changed the topic without a hitch.

“The only place I wanna be right now…” I hesitated for a minute and she just completely ignores it, patiently waiting for my answer.

“K…Kyungsoo. Where he is right now.” I cleared out my throat and just completely let go. To be honest I don’t want to tarnish the image she saw in me. But I don’t have any bad intention with Kyungsoo; I just wanna be with him, that’s all.

“My child, lust and physical desires are natural. Even the Gods and Goddesses have them. I will never judge for it.” She said without any evidence of criticism in her voice.

“Can you hear my thoughts too, just like the Gods?” I ask, rather shyly now.

“No. But I can feel what your heart wants to say. I have guided millions of souls in my endless lifetime, but you were the only astral soul that I felt connected to.” She paused and continues speaking.

“All the Gods who have been watching over you ever since you were born knew that all you ever wanted in life is that boy you speak about. And they heard your silent prayers. Your mouth or your mind may not ask for it, but your heart does. Your sincerity pierced through them, but only Dionysus acted upon it. Of course with the blessing of the one above him, and everyone like him.” Her explanation felt so long, only because she spoke softly and surely.

“You mean his father, Zeus?”

“No, child. The only one, the creator of you, me and even Zeus himself. The creator of life and death.” She now started to fly away from me and I catch up with her.

“You mean God,” I told her once I caught up with her.

“You may call Him that, but He has different names by different people and religion. But one thing is for certain, He is the Father of all things you can and can’t see or touch.” She suddenly disappeared and I stopped flying around. I looked everywhere but can’t find her.

“Where are you? Why did you leave me? What is your name?” I call out to no one.

“I will answer your question the next time we see each other. For now, you can go wherever you wish to go. But you can only spend 1 hour with the boy.” Her voice sounding more and more distant now.

“Only one hour? How do I go to him, I don’t know where he lives!!!” I call out again.

“Think of him and you will be with him…” Her beautiful and poised voice suddenly disappeared now.

---

Think of him and you will be with him…

Think of him…

You will be with him…

Those words keep repeating in your head but not completely registering yet. It has been more than an hour now since she disappeared completely and you were just flying around the city, looking at how the lights are beautiful from above.

If only you are with Kyungsoo, how romantic would this be, you thought to yourself. And with that, your astral body started traveling at the speed of light. You screamed when the force pull you without your approval, if you were in your physical body, you would have been puking by now.

After what felt like an eternity, you stopped. You tried looking around but see nothing. Your eyes were open but you see nothing. After a few seconds later, your vision is slowly coming back. You closed and rub your eyes to help it adjust and when you opened them you see him. Sleeping peacefully.

You gasped and covered your mouth shut. But nothing happened, he didn’t even stir one bit after you made a noise. Half of his body was buried under a comforter and the half was sprawled over his bed. His right arms up on his head and his other hugging a pillow on his chest.

You followed the heaving of his chest up and down, and an adoring smile crept on your lips at the peacefulness of his sleep. Your peripheral vision caught something in the background and when you looked at it, you saw him staring at you with heavy-set looking eyes. You jumped up in surprise, but instead of bouncing, you gracefully flew 2 meters away from him.

“Who— who are… Who are you?” He slurred his words.

“Y—you can see me?” The edgy feeling of being caught is now making your skin crawl.

You looked back at the bed and sure enough you see him there, still sleeping.

“Who are… Who are you? Are you my… Girlfriend?” He slurred again as if he was drunk.

What was happening? Why are there two Kyungsoos? You saw that the barely conscious version of him started floating around you.

“Holy shit, you’re astral too?” You slapped your mouth shut again for the second time, halting the curse that exits your mouth.

“Shhhhhh. Don’t curse, Junmyeon Hyung will hear you.” He giggles drunkenly and his head started making circles and his eyes started shaking violently.

“Are you… drunk?” You ask silently, inching a little bit of space near him.

“I’m not… I’m… I’m just sleepy…” With that, his astral soul collapsed slowly and started lining with his physical body and he suddenly jolts up awake, looking straight to where you were floating…