#but violation and adversity and pain and abuse and all this fucking trauma doesn't make me succeed
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what they don't tell you about trauma is it's the lost time and life that gets to you.
#or maybe i am just insanely ambitious. plays marina and the diamond songs and cries.#i am funny like i truly never wanted anything EXCEPT success. everything else is secondary. id take the pain if it meant success#but violation and adversity and pain and abuse and all this fucking trauma doesn't make me succeed#maybe ill be more normal about it if i can be a songwriter still and people take meaning from it.#but then I think about the people who assaulted me and theres no meaning there. it's just bad.
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