#but using it to fuel his weird shitty 'self-awareness of my fucking horrible traits and actions = having done all i need to deal with it'
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tfw you're put off by a character you used to like/tolerate in a piece of media you're revisiting, in a different way than other characters you're going 'ugh' or 'HI WHAT THE FUCK' at this time around, and you realize it's because now you've got an abusive ex under your belt that they remind you of and oh that's why lmao
#moogletalks#abuse tag#abuse cw#already been having really bad intrusive thoughts lately about how my ex would've latched on SO hard to p much everything i like about LL#and identified strongly with characters that mean a lot to me. i can very vividly see and predict how he would have acted about five#down to what kinds of things he would have written or drawn him doing and how he'd look in his artstyle; and it makes me want to puke#but adam /acts like him from the outside/ and uses the same traits and logic he did in ways he would find ~validating and seen by~#not only while acknowledging they're fucked up and he's ~morally gray and complicated~ to invalidate going 'wtf' at him#but using it to fuel his weird shitty 'self-awareness of my fucking horrible traits and actions = having done all i need to deal with it'#it's far from the only reason i feel the way i do about adam now but christ that will turn you off of a character a little bit lmao#ugh.#negative
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