#but unlike thomas i want people to know whats going on behind the scenes 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

[tscritical]

TL;DR: im going on hiatus to focus on my mental health, because running this blog is taking a lot out of me

i had a sort of. epiphany at the gym

im not emotionally/mentally equipped to run this blog

like,,,,, focusing my energy on the way thomas does things, and picking everything apart, and trying to both properly comprehend and eloquently answer asks about what he’s up to and other peoples thoughts and whatnot, it’s very quickly becoming taxing and idk why? but i think my mental health is just, in general, very shit lmao. it probably doesn’t help that this blog has gotten a pretty sizeable audience rather quickly, and im not used to getting so many asks

like i made it on impulse. it didn’t occur to me that something i made could become something that a ton of people see themselves in. this blog went from something to let out frustrations on to basically a home for lost fanders, both ex and current. maybe that’s a dramatic ass way of saying it but still lmao

and i love it! i love that people feel like they have a safe place here! im honored! it’s just that idk if im like… in the right headspace to subject myself to the kind of content this blog was made for. i don’t wanna say negativity, cos criticism isn’t inherently negative, but there’s a specific emotion that fills my brain when i come to this blog. idk what it is, but i don’t think it’s good?

i feel a little silly being like “this blog is emotionally exhausting to run” because a) ive only been running it for what? two weeks? three? and b) what’s so emotionally exhausting about pointing out the stupid shit thomas does, but idk my brain just isn’t having it for reasons i cant pinpoint

i feel bad about this since i started this blog so recently, but i think i need to go on hiatus. not indefinitely, but… just until i get my shit together. but i don’t wanna just. stop posting? so idk how to balance that lmao

i might reblog things on occasion? but i won’t be making my own posts or answering asks. even though i feel bad about it. but like. i need to focus on me more than some Guy on the internet

im not gonna step away from the internet completely, maybe i should, but for now it’s just this blog. and i might turn off asks until i come back but im not sure yet (i already have a ton of asks in my inbox, idk how many would be there in the time it takes for me to improve my mental health lmao)

basically, it’s self care time. hopefully it won’t take three years

thank you all for reading!! <3

i feel like there’s an irony in here somewhere i just don’t have what it takes to. decipher it lmao