#but uhhh hey prev my beloved mutual if you made it this far you wanna move in together and live together forever and ever haha jk unless...
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being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence
#mm yeah. ramble ahead. warning: it's sad hours#the way the “how long have I got these ppl” was like my biggest fear for a while and still kinda is when I think too hard#the “second best” thing op describes is the worst of it#bc when you're particularly close when they get a partner it's kinda like “ok what does this mean for you and me bc this is grey area"#and I've never been sure how to bring that up because it implies that there's smth romantic about my friendships when there's not#it's just when there's not a romantic partner in the picture it's whatever you and your friend are comfy with and think is platonic#and when there is one it's... well a lot of times they'll gravitate to their partner instead or it won't be clear what's still acceptable#sometimes being very close friends with allo people can feel like living on borrowed time and it's not their fault but it hurts#and I'm defo not perfect w/ it either half the reason this is such a big fear is bc of allonormativity being entrenched in my head#and not really being able to let go of thinking of things with that internalised heirarchy no matter how stupid I think it is but ughhhhhh#but uhhh hey prev my beloved mutual if you made it this far you wanna move in together and live together forever and ever haha jk unless...#I'm being so serious when I say you will always have me /p
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