#but today theres a little. still have trouble. you know standing i feel shakey and weak but i can still move so. ugh if i had paid days off
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happiiest · 5 years ago
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#my neck usually hurts 24/7 but it went up two point on the 1/10 meter since i got sick. my bones achey so my neck....breaky#it feels like it always wants cracked i gotta stop myself from breaking it. good thing my fingers crack pretty often tho#occasional urge to break one once in a while but thats fine. my neck is. a little more important you know?#feel like im on the rebound tho i feel more energy welling up when im resting. yesterday there was next to nothing#but today theres a little. still have trouble. you know standing i feel shakey and weak but i can still move so. ugh if i had paid days off#i tots would have used two of them for today and friday but fuck man idk if i do so i gotta at least be here#my coworkers were really nice i must have appeared alot more exhausted. the girl i share my floor with offered to do all of the bathrooms#today and augh that was really helpful it let me rest. but gosh darn i half refused and did the one pair of bathrooms#i need to work on being able to rely on others for help. but im always really worried that i'm relying too much and never working for myself#but the thing is i never call off and always show up early and! i take care of the entire floor if the girl needs to call off#i wish i would have fully accepted her offer but its fine i guess...#i wish in those moments there was someone to tell me that its genuinely okay for me to accept help. that they're glad to help me#and that they feel that the give and take in whatever kinda relationship it is is still equal and not onesided#also been feeling alot of negativity lately. like with cyberpunk there was a couple critical posts goin around#one less popular one about the gangs and the other was about that poster of a girl with a dick clearly showing thru her tights#and like. i see very clearly why and how that can be problematic and i dont know very much abt the history of projekt red and their stances#but i am aware of the types of people interested in projekt red's games and its not exactly trans rights#i feel like the posts are something i specifically am tired of seeing because i already know the issues and am tired of talking about it#i've been arguing with my friends alot lately about important issues like insanely rich ppl and lgbt issues and racism#feel like i kinda just wanna be. for right now. for a while. talk to people who already understand the issues and were on the same page#but i dont have anyone who are on the same page with everything and thats normal. people disagree yeah?#i kinda wanna explore the community possibilities on pc warframe. i doubt there will be anything too worthwhile but hey yeah#lol the warframe clan leader is on tumblr i messaged them with my main so kudos to them if they read all the above tags to here#love you and i'm looking forward to our clanship and our friendship in the future *holds up wineglass* to pc warframe
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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years ago
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Fearfull Proposal
Summary: henry plans a romantic proposal... and instead of coming clean about your secret fear of heights and ruining his romantic plan, you put on a brave face... well until your nearing the top of the london eye.
Warnings: fear, fluff, swearing, typos.
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You quivered as you rose higher and higher over londons skyline.
Fuck why? Why the fuck had you got in this dangling glass death trap. A faulty few bolts and you'd be plummeting into the fucking thames!
Henry was standing by the window looking out at the glittering lights in awe.
You were standing with your back turned to the houses of Parliament hands clutching the rail eitherside of you knuckles white. Knees knocking.
God this was the stupidest thing you'd ever fucking done! And it was your own fault.
"Babe, look! God big ben looks soo small never been on this at night"
You hummed nodding but continued looking to the floor.
Henry paused when you didnt correct him with the whole 'big ben is the bell' you usually countered
He turned looking back to you and his stomach dropped.
"Babe? Whoa are you okay there love?" He asked frowning as he saw your eyes clenched shut almost as if you were in pain.
You were trembling and pale to the point he fearded youd pass out.
"Here come sit down and relax, i packed some snacks-" he said placing the specially packed bag of snacks and screw top mini wine bottles.
"No! No I'm fine... I will just stay here... By the saftey bar" you said giggling nervously sparing him a glance and patting the metal you were holding onto for dear life..
Henry faltered and really took in your apperance unsure what to do. It wasn't like he could get you off, you had to ride the ride.
"Babe? Are you scared of heights?"
"Nooo dont be sillyeee- OH MY GOD IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you began laughing him off then screamed as the ride stopped.
Instantly you ducked crouching whilst wrapping your arms around the silver bar shouting bloody murder.
It didn't help you were bathed in purple light so couldn't see shit.
Henry got up and rushed to you standing over you arms rounding you holding you securly.
"No, no its fine love... shh its fine baby, they said it could stop to let people on poppet remember?" He said quickly rubbing your sides as you cowered trying to fend off the temptation to look at the thames below.
"Y-yeah fuck hen- im sorry i just..." you mewled turning towards him tucking your head to his chest.
"Scared of heights huh? Why didnt you tell me?" He sighed pressing kisses to your head as you whimpered adn the ride began moving once again.
"Because you went to all this trouble, you planned this surprise and i didnt want to ruin it, you were soo excited" you sniffled blinking at him.
"Hey shh you silly girl, you should have told me. You wouldnt have ruined anything you silly sausage" he cooed winding himself around you tighter.
He was actually annoyed at himself, how the fuck had he not known his girlfriend of a year and a half was scared of heights?
He'd suspected a fear of heights when you both went on holiday for your birthday, but youd managed to convince him it was a fear of flying and planes... not heights.
And come to think of it you didnt even like the glass lifts in shopping centers, you ran to the corner and held on eyes locked onto the doors the entire time.
So this was the worst surprize he could of planned for tonight. Things weren't going to plan. Fuck.
"Babe im sorry" he apologised feeling like an asshole.
"No no dont be, this was extremly sweet bear" you said quickly not wantin to make him feel bad fpr your own short commings.
"Theres noting sweet about terrifying you"
"Do... do you want to sit down? Ill hold you the entire time" he offered peaking to the central bench where both your bags sat.
"I.. yes okay i think sitting will be better" you said then yipped as he prompty scooped you up and placed you in his lap securly.
"Im so sorry love, I just wanted to make this special and romantic" he muttered holding you as close as he could letting you know that you were safe and sound.
"It is! It is love really im just a baby" you said quickly grasping his face pulling him closer before peppering his face with kisses.
"Your not a babe we all have our fears" he said quietly pressing his forehead to yours.
"You dont" you sighed closing your eyes trying to ignore the snails pace of the pod that still rose over london.
You could barely feel it, but your fear amplified it.
"Oh but i do~" he replied peering at you, as yur eyes fluttered open.
"Like what?" The questionnescaped before you could think.
"No" he said eyes now becoming worried, anxiety clouding them.
"No?"
"Yes, at the moment thats my biggest fear" he said releasing a shakey breath as you frowned at him not following but didnt dwell as your ees darted to the side seeing the houses
"You see, i was trying to be all romantic and wait untill we got tp the top, but i think you'll be too terrified"
"Henry?" You said leaning back unsure about the serious tone he seemed to take.
"I brought us here, to the spot we met two years ago today..." he said drawing deeper breaths as the reality of what was about to happen hit him.
"Was it really?" You asked surprized he'd remember something like that. Anniversary? Definitely. But the day you first met? And asked for a selfie with a series of embarrassing squeaks? No you didnt think he'd remember.
"Yep. I remember doing a promo and shoot on this thing, then got off and was sat next to you in wagamama"
"And i squeaked for a selfie" you groaned with a small giggle.
"Im glad you did, i scanned instagram for days after- scouring my hashtag trying to find you... i kicked myself for not getting your number~"
"I still cant belive you did that... but im gld you did henry"
"Who'd have thought the nervous little thing trying not to even breath in my direction would be my girlfriend six months down the line"
"Or that we'd last this long?" You quipped at him trying to reme,ber to breath.
"And.. hopefully a lifetime? Despite me dragging you intoyour actual living nightmare- which i promise to never do again! Not even lifts"
You scowled and tilted your head to him not sure if you heard him correctly.
Untill he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.
"Henry?! What? You cant be serious?"
"Oh but i am love, as much as i want to do this right and drop to one knee i doubt you'll thank me for releasing you?"
"Dont you dare let me go!"
"I think you'll find im trying to do the opposite~" he chuckled opening the box revealing the simple elegant ring three tiny diamonds.
"Im trying to marry you..."
You gasped eyes glazing over as you locked on to the dainty ring pinched between his fingers.
"I love you y/n, and i want to know if you'd become my wife and share your life with me. Will you marry me?"
"Oh god yes of course its a yes henry i love you bear!" You cried throwing your arms around him making him grunt and quickly clench his fist arohnd the ring before he dropped it.
He groaned into you rocking from side to side littering your head with kisses before peeling you away to sit the ring on your finger.
You looked at the glittering stones on your finger weeping. You may have been cursing yourself for getting into this godforsaken glass bauble in the sky.
But now you were he happiest woman alive.
"I love you bear"
"I love you too"
"Would you like some wine? I brough the little cute bottles you like" he offered nodding to the bag of snacks.
"Err lets not push it hun" you whined not sure wine at this altitude was a good idea.
You kept glancing at him still sniffing and giggleing unable to look from your ring for long.
"Gotcha, no wine"
"You look surprized i said yes?"you quipped needing to talk and take your mind off the fact your at the tippity top.
"I made you face one of your nightmares i thought you'd slap me silly when i ask" he scoffed pressing a kiss to your cheek unable to stop.
"Never love... but please never ever get on this thing again okay?" You pleaded fluttering your lashes at him pleading.
"I swear. Never again, but seeing as this is our one and only ride we should take a few selfies? Mark the occasion?" He said standing letting your feet hit the floor but never once did he let go.
"Absolutly, gotta show off my new fiancé" you hummed rising to share another kiss with him not really paying attention to the height you'd now reached, you had more important things to think about. Like sharing the rest of your life with this glorious man.
"My thoughts exactly" he grinned pulling out his phone aiming it at the two of you, makeing sure to have the hand that rested on his chest donning his ring in shot.
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