#but to me that was the beginning of mailin trying to prove to ava that shes a great ally

[calliettes-posts]

It's somehow funny and lowkey ironic that after Fatou told Mailin to plan something with only Ava, Mailin asks her to go to an anti-racism protest together

[michellejackson]

Fandom: Druck

Pairing: Fatou Jallow/Kieu My Vu

Wordcount: 1559

PART ONE  PART TWO

Fatou’s POV

Fatou had known she was in love with Kieu My ever since they first met. At first, before she really got to know her, Kieu My’s smile would be so few, secretive and small, and she would always be closed off to whoever talked to her. Getting to know her was hard at first, but when she was finally let in, she knew it was all worth it. Her smiles had turned big and radiant, no sun could even compare. Most importantly though, she would give you all she had, all she was, unapologetically.

This is why Fatou meant it was a privilege to know Kieu My well, to see sides of her no one else would. It’s also why she knew she could never tell Kieu My that she was in love with her.

Kieu My had been acting strange lately. Fatou couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it started, but in the last few weeks she’s been really closed off somehow, and it worried her. She had begun to recycle the same excuses, school, work and her parents. And while Fatou believed her at first, she started to doubt her after an afternoon spent accompanying Kieu My’s parents, because Kieu My wasn’t dressed yet. She quickly found out that none of these things were an active issue. She was way ahead on her schoolwork, work was quiet, and her parents were supportive of her as always. So, what was the problem?

“What are you daydreaming about now?”

Yara’s voice snapped her out of it. Fatou forgot she was there for a bit and now she felt guilty. They were laying on the ping pong table in the middle of the school yard, wasting away the free hour. She laughed and apologized for not giving Yara enough attention. Yara didn’t seem to mind though.

Fatou liked hanging with Yara and had grown close to her the last few weeks. She guessed their similar situations of unrequited love had made them close.

It all started on New Year’s Eve.

-

Fatou and Kieu My had been sitting on a sofa far away from the rest of the party. Kieu My had been laying in Fatou’s lap, rambling about space, and Fatou had fallen in love with her all over again. It was beginning to feel like a curse, really, her unrequited love. And then Kieu My had stopped talking and started to look around.

“Who do you think should have the honor of being my new year’s kiss?” She’d said it jokingly, but Fatou knew she was really looking. So, she made a big show of pretending to think. “What about…… Nora”

“She has a boyfriend, you know this, she’s your friend” she smiled her big smile, with teeth and everything. “Indeed, it was a test, my dear Kieu My.” She laughed, waiting for Fatou to find someone else.

“Ava?”

“Are you trying to set me up with your friend group? Who’s next? Mailin?” Fatou pretended to think about it before she answered, “no, I don’t think you would be a good match to be honest” she said innocently and Kieu My snorted.

“The guy from biology?”

“No”

“William,”

“no”

“Constanti-”

“hard pass.”

“oh, so the others aren’t a hard pass?”

“Shut up.”

“What about one of those folks who already graduated? Nora’s sisters’ friends? That dude in the grandpa sweater is kind of cute”

“too old”

Fatou lets out an exasperated sigh and throws her hands up in the air to symbolize that Kieu My is impossible. Kieu My just laughs. “God, I’m gonna end up alone” she throws herself onto Fatou’s lap again and Fatou’s hand automatically goes to play with her hair.

Hours later she loses Kieu My and ends up walking around looking for her. It was almost midnight and she wanted Kieu My’s face to be the first one she saw in the new year. Pathetic, she knew. She found Yara instead.

“Hi, Yara, have you seen Kieu My?”

She had to look down at her, seeing that she’s crouching, trying to set fire to a rocket. She looked up at her when she spoke and smiled, her eyes red. Before Yara gets to answer, Fatou opens her mouth again,

“are you okay?”

The girl had clearly been crying. She brushed her off though,

“I’m fine. You know how it goes, you fall for someone, they fall for someone else, they spend the rest of their existence talking about them to your face until you have to excuse yourself to cry and then in an effort to let out all of your frustration you want to fire up a rocket to go up and away with your sorrow, but your lighter doesn’t work-” she sniffs “you know, the usual”.

Fatou didn’t know what to say, so she just stood there like an idiot. She did know. So she had offered the only type of support she could think of, “want a hug?” She opened her arms and Yara accepted immediately.

“So who’s the lucky person?” Fatou asked softly into her hair. Yara buried her face into Fatou’s neck.

“Ava”

Ahh, “Marc, huh?”

She nodded.

“I don’t like him either, to be honest” she’d said then, in an effort to brighten the mood.

“He fucking sucks”, Yara had mumbled back.

“You’ve talked to him?”

“Nope”

Fatou laughed and let go of the hug then, cupping Yara’s face instead. She stared to brush away Yara’s tears, and she didn’t plan on saying these words to anyone, let alone someone she barely knew.

“I’m in love with Kieu My” She said, almost deflating as the words left her mouth. She’d finally admitted it out loud. She still hadn’t looked away from Yara, and she could see as her face twisted into something close to confusion. Frankly, she was not expecting the response she got.

“You’re not dating?”

Yara gave her a puzzled look, and Fatou gave her one in return, “what? no.”

“Oh, I’m sorry”

They both just looked at each other for a while, the silence dragging out, until they both just burst out laughing.

“You wanna dance?” Fatou asked, and Yara said yes.

As they danced, waiting for the clock to strike twelve, Fatou felt free somehow, with her truth out in the universe. And Yara looked happy too as they both danced closer to each other, until they were inches apart. She looked up at Yara, and Yara looked down at her, their noses were brushing and Yara looked to the side before opening her mouth to speak,

“She’s looking at us”

Fatou knew who she was talking about, and she knew it was ridiculous, but some part of her wished for Kieu My to be jealous, wished for her to want her, just a little. She didn’t know what compelled her to do it, maybe she wanted Kieu My to see her with someone, or maybe she just wanted to confirm to herself what she already suspected, that Kieu My would never want her like she wanted her. Well, for tonight, she could pretend.

She knew it was ridiculous, but she did it anyways, she closed the gap between their lips and focused of Yara, forcing Kieu My off her mind.

-

“Is it Kieu My again?” Yara asked, all knowing as always. Fatou just nodded. Yara sat up and gestured for Fatou to do the same. She looked at her with a serious look as they sat cross-legged across from each other.

“I think you should tell Kieu My how you feel.”

She said this with a straight face, and if Yara hadn’t looked so serious as she did, Fatou would’ve laughed.

“What makes you think that’s a good idea?”

“Because she’s totally in love with you, Fatou!” Fatou just looked at her with utter disbelief.

“No, okay, listen, she’s always looking for you, ALWAYS, and she’s always looking AT you, like,, like right now, she’s literally staring at you right now,”

Fatou turned and met with brown eyes. Well… she got one thing right. She smiled and waved before turning to Yara again.

“That proves nothing.”

“sure it doesn’t, well, she didn’t kiss anyone on new year’s eve so that must tell you something!” Yara looked at her with wide eyes.

“Because she got too drunk, I took her home after, she didn’t feel well”

Yara looked at her as if to say “aha!”, but Fatou just rolled her eyes, “that doesn’t prove anythi-”

“did she get drunk before or after we made out?”

That made her stop to think. Did she get drunk before or after they made out? Kieu My hadn’t been drinking much when they were together… but that didn’t prove anything, right? She really couldn’t afford to get her hopes up for this.

“let’s talk about something else…” she tried to dodge the subject, but Yara looked at her with a look that said that she got her.

Fatou tried to look back in time, she had noticed that Kieu My had been acting strange, but could it have started after NYE? After the kiss? Could she be jealous? No… and even if it did start after NYE, it didn’t guarantee that it was because of her and Yara. But… what if that was the case?

Maybe… maybe she should try to talk to Kieu My about this after all.