#but this one will be a video too eventful grrrr

[tipsy-scales]

Lust Dollfie Dream Update

Between today and yesterday I did the faceup

I started by wiping the original faceup so I can paint my own

WIP

And a preview of the final faceup! My faceups are still amateur as far as details and intricate skills, but I think I do well capturing the characters, and the dolls are 100% mine since I made them! I think my styling makes up for it too. Idk since this head is limited, there was some extra pressure but I’m just here to have a good time.

As for other things

I have this wig on the way for her in black. It’s supposed to arrive Monday. I tried a spare wig on her and I’m SO HYPED to see her in her proper wig!

I also ordered a L size shapely bust for her. The bust she came with is M size. The shapely bust is to make it look like the doll is wearing a push up bra which will be good for her outfit. I usually don’t like large busts for my dolls, but this is a character doll so it’s appropriate!

When the new bust comes, I will start on her outfit. She needs body mods too for her freaky glove hands. I’m excited to see her come together more!

[half-dead-writer]

hello I am in fact not dead I've been sick and lacking the motivation to write but hopefully I'll get into the groove again, I got so many requests I'm itching to get done but no strength to do it at all grrrr at first I tried to write a drabble but it just wasn't coming out right so I settled for the short headcanons - as a bonus you can see what I wrote for it below

Kim Pine with a shy and nervous S/O

character: Kim Pine (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off) words: 261 reader: gender neutral warnings: none

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

she thinks your nervousness is cute, to an extent

Kim isn't nervous or shy herself, but she can understand where your worries come from

if you're visibly stressed during a social gathering, she won't make a fuss out of it, instead taking you somewhere where you can cool off

Kim having the patience of a saint plays a big role in your relationship

even if you ask her a lot of times whether you done something wrong (whether it's an issue in your relationship or during an event where you're stressed about something you did during interacting with others) she'll always calmly reassure you and chase away your worries

that doesn't mean she won't be blunt about it, though

she will point out whatever you did right (or wrong) in her usual flat fashion

she doesn't mind re-explaining to you her logical reasons, as much as your anxiety makes you doubt her words

at the end of the day, she loves you, even if your confidence is lacking at times

if your love language isn't as open and not easily perceived, little gestures like holding her hand, staying close, no matter how small it may be - she sees it and appreciates you

the type to come up to the McDonald's counter and ask for extra fries they forgot to pack into your happy meal when you're too shy to ask for them yourself

will argue for/defend you if you need it, but also makes an effort to slowly make you come out of your shell, one step at a time

Seeing the look of pure passion on the drummer's face was enough to keep you occupied throughout the whole session of the band playing. You didn't wanna be a creep, of course, so you kept your staring at a minimum. You couldn't deny Kim held you tight in her grasp, though. She just seemed so cool. Somehow, her sarcastic remarks did not push you away, even if they poked holes in your already weak confidence.

Since you started working at No-Account Video, you made it your goal to get to know her better. Learning Kim was in a band was your best chance at showing your eagerness, as awkward as it was from your side. Your attempts at being social at work usually fizzled out after a few minutes, right after you used all of your small-talk dialogue options. Interacting with people didn't come easy to you, but you had to learn somehow, right? Thankfully, Kim accepted your request of seeing her playing live. Perhaps she took pity on you, seeing how hard it was for you to even utter the question.

The girl lowered her drumsticks, wiping the gathered sweat on her forehead. She grabbed the leftover soda from the nearby table, taking a sip. Briefly acknowledging your presence, she glanced your way.

"So? Do you think we suck?" Stephen asked, furrowing his brows with anxiety and hope, trying to gauge your reaction before you could even respond. He assumed the worst, per usual.

"I think- I think that was awesome." You hoped your smile, even if a bit shy, conveyed your excitement clearly.

"You don't have to be nice just because you don't wanna hurt Stephen's feelings." Kim commented with her usual flat tone, not bothering to sugarcoat her words. She knew they most likely sucked.

"No, no, I- I really think you're cool. Um, all of you." You clarified quickly, obviously overthinking your simple words.

"That's a relief." Her tone was ambiguous, most likely sarcastic, but somehow you managed to pinpoint a bit of sincerity in her words. Perhaps she did care at least a little bit of the opinion of her co-worker.

[winningwithlaughter]

Playing Games

I've often heard the expression "don't play games with me." It's an unusual expression that I understand, but don't vibe with, as it gives game playing a bad rap.

Games are meant to be playful, not manipulative, and the intent is to bring joy, excitement and even healthy competition to the moment.  It’s a departure from the grind, an energy shift into presence and the lightness of being. A game can serve to be a bonding, taking a group of individuals and giving them a group purpose. It’s an opportunity to focus, removing us from the cacophony of noises that pound on the daily into our senses. 

The word “playful” derives its meaning from the word “play,” meaning that we’re filled (full) with play and joy.  No stressors exist from work or financial dealings. We’re in the moment, and that moment is anxiety free.  Unless, of course, the angst is from being competitive-about-stupid-shit like I am. I treat some games like the Super Bowl, even pulling a hamstring playing Charades.  Ever trying acting out “whole thing” of Titanic? Daddy went down with the ship, literally! 

One affirmation/confirmation I’ve heard many times is that I’m a good dad.  I would humbly agree.  Contrary to what kind of an ass I can be to adults, my four kids get a devoted and loving father 24/7. No matter what difficult circumstances are thrown this way, the centered ground of being a great parent cannot be tumbled. Fumbled, yes, tumbled, no.  The committed roots of love are too strong.  One thing my children will never grow up to work out in therapy is - “I was raised with no laughs by a boring man who never smiled.”  Ha!

Not having a dad in my life as a child reinforces the yearning to be an active, loving and supportive father to the four Shoemaker kids. I give them all I longed for as a boy.  

One thing that stayed with me, and inspires me aways to heal, is missing what the other kids had - playing with their pops.  I recall being so resentful of my neighbors, who had a large family unit, all referring to events as “my dad” this and “my dad” that.  I sarcastically called the oldest boy next door, “my dad,” acting as if he was trying to make me jealous, when indeed he was simply spelling out his activity that day.  “My dad is taking us to Phillies game.” Grrrr.  It would send me to envy and sadness, knowing I could never utter those words. 

One Father’s Day 18 years ago, my son Justin cued up the scene from Field of Dreams, where Kevin Costner’s character, Roy Kinsella, asks his ghost father, “do you want to have a catch?” With a devilish look on his face, Justin pressed play, and watched me bawl my eyes out, while begging him to stop the video.  

That classic film is all based in the world of the game of baseball, metaphoric meanings aplenty, with family love at the core.  All walks of life, varying goals and agendas, are all brought together by a game some have never even played.  They found bliss on a field created from dreams. We can do the same in our lives, creating a personal world that’s not so dark and serious, abundant with emotional freedom. 

My children thrive when we engage in games. Before bed I give them choices of invented family customs we play out.  Most often they choose trivia we call, “Keyser Soze,” where my knowledge nudgers are spawned from looking around the room, like Keyser Soze made up his story in the film, The Unusual Suspects.  For instance, I spy the vertical window blinds and ask, “what blind singer sang Georgia?” 

We laugh a lot, even if it’s making fun of me for asking a dumb question.  I’ll trip on a banana peel for them.  Laughter is the greatest form of intimate unity.  

I say we humans pull away from the evil triad of fear, doubt and worry, and jump on the train of love, light and laughter.  If happiness is the goal, then there will be less “mind games” to worry about.  You get to create your own energetic space, and the mean folks will go away when your vibe is about fun.  

What kind of games do you play with your loved ones and friends? Share that.  It’s better than sharing a photo of your ass in a thong at a beach we’re not at! 

Oh. Gotta go. My kids have a Frisbee, waiting for their dad to play…on the sand…in front of our luxury hotel…in sunny Maui…where you’re not.  

Hahaha.  Just playing with you.  Have a fun day, wherever you’re playing your games! 

[hyunverse]

ooooo that’s nice !!! currently doing my chores listening to music as well, we’re twinning how cute ^_^. kimchi ramen sounds so good rn 😩. i had our fave for breakfast, sushiiiiii!!! i got cucumber avocado bc they had no salmon and it was delishhhh. call me angel again and watch me sob <///3. you’re too cute it hurts my heart, KISSESSSS 💗💗. i rly do love your writing and the angst just hits every time. so i am very much looking forward to wtvr comes out next hehe

OMFG PLS DO ASSIGN THEM MYTHOLOGY TALES I WILL LOSE MY MINDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you do it my one request will be the sirens story when the sirens lured the sailors into dying LMAO that would be so perfect w any of them. danceracha perhaps ???that’s my fave mythology tale tho 😋😋. what’s yours? i’m curious ^_^

yep yep yep you get it ! it’s too tempting. i will forever say that money does in fact buy happiness bc money provides me w everything that makes me happy so 😇. and it really is always thursday’s 😭. my mom was just being rly unkind and stuff <////3. im pretty used to it atp but for some reason everything she was saying was just like ouchhhhhh yk ?? i’m slowly getting over it tho until the next event happens lol 🙏🏼 thank you for being here for me love :((. just talking to you and reading your stuff makes me so happy. it’s nice to know someone cares about what i have to say so i rly enjoy interacting w you :)) AND skz comeback rly helps pull through LOL, i agree they’re all doing these comebacks too fast bc what about our bank accounts skz 💔💔💔

MINHO PICSSSS grrrr i adore you 😠😠. he’s so cute that just made me smile sm ily :(( but yes new rachavlog had me smiling NONSTOP through the whole video, seeing them happy and seeing chan relax for once just makes my heart full. hyunjins outfit ALONE was so bf. and him taking over the cooking and all that at the restaurant ??? HUSBAND ENERGYYYYYYYYY he is so boyfie. tempted to write hyunjin fluff lately bc he’s just so dreamy and it makes me insane 😇😇

- 🐈‍⬛ the spamming has began again pls forgive 😔🙏🏼 hugs hugs hugs

kimchi ramen always!!! either that or the buldak ramen. god i’ve been eating instant noodles daily due to the fact that it’s ramadan and the campus cafes are closed </3 on my period rn so i can’t fast hehe. maybe i shud order some real food tmr instead zzzz. sushi sounds so good rn 😭 if only there were sushi restaurants near my campus, i would order some tomorrow ☹️ but there aren’t ☹️ dislike living in a small village, i can’t cope!!!

i will call you my angel all the time then because you are indeed my angel <3 the angel-est of them all!! truly!! sneak peek: another drabble of mine will be based on the musical tick tick boom!! angst <3 again <3

wait idk the sailor myth that ure talking abt omg 💔 will look up into it 🤝 mmm lemme try assigning them myths... i feel like the tale of orpheus and eurydice gives off so much hyunjin. being deeply in love and being overtaken by despair just feels hyunjin, yk? that’s all i could think of rn T_T my fav myth is the entire the iliad story!! it’s so interesting to me. i think achilles is a very interesting character. huge angst potential too.

naw, baby :( ‘m sorry to hear that. sending u affection to compensate for the unkind words. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are, and ‘m proud of you!! thank you for merely existing, and i’m proud that you’re doing the best you could right now. you deserve so many good things ♡ i haven’t even met you or known you deeply but just by the things we’ve talked about, i can tell that you’re an incredible individual. you’re attentive, a great mood-maker, a joy to be around and kind. you make my days brighter. thank you for sticking around ♡

i’m planning to preorder for their next comeback (we are looking past my sad bank account) so ngl hopefully it’s not anytime too soon LOLLLL. maybe after eid bcs i’ll have eid money by then 😈 i’ll be free to spend money on their albums LOL.

and i adore you too, my angel!! pls write the hyune fluff i am on my knees begging 🙏 hyune fluff supremacy!! yes his outfit was so boyfriend <3 i loved seeing all of them unwind. the way jisung bowled too like he fr rolled the ball down </3 sucha jisung thing to do. i wanna go to a barbecue with hyunjin just to sit still look pretty and let him do the cooking 🧘‍♀ he looks so hubby that way. imagine going to a hotpot place with him too OHHH I’M DELUSIONAL ‼️

i adore the spamming so don’t u worry my love!!! kisses and hugs for u angel <333

[ibuki-says]

3AM Thoughts

Pairing: Ibuki Mioda x Kazuichi Souda

Rating: PG-13 - Slight mentions of violence/gore and cursing

Word Count: 2,173

Spoilers: Up to Chapter 2′s class trial and slight spoilers for Chapter 3

Prompt: “Why are you awake right now?”

If there was one thing someone shouldn’t be concerned with during a literal killing game, it would be dumb trivial things like romance. Hell, someone could go to sleep and the next day they’d wake up dead. If that wasn’t enough to get your heart racing and a pit forming in your stomach, then there’s no way someone holding your hand or not liking you back would cause the same reaction. However, for a certain raven-haired rocker, that was exactly what was happening. Ibuki Mioda always tried her best to keep the energy high and everyone smiling, but even she had her moments. She wasn’t able to keep her head up all the time, though she tried not to let anyone else see it. Things were already bad enough with their friends dropping like flies, her being sad wasn’t going to help anything!! These were all things more important than any stupid feelings she had, ones she was pretty much 100 percent sure weren’t even reciprocated anyway, so there was no reason to dwell on them!! Or at least that was something she hoped she could come to terms with. 

It was a few days after Peko’s execution. Everyone was still stunned and sad, as expected. Fuyuhiko was still recovering after the insane stunt he pulled and that (still kinda creepy) memorial thing Hiyoko created for Mahiru still loomed in the background while everyone was in the restaurant eating their breakfast. Ibuki was uncharacteristically quiet as everyone made idle chit-chat around her. It was alright though, it wasn’t like she was feeling particularly down or anything, just thinking. As she picked at her food and pondered, her eyes trailed up to focus on a particular pink-haired mechanic. Kazuichi was on the other side of the room, speaking with Akane about her eating habits. A sigh of quiet relief left the musician’s lips. She didn’t have anything against Sonia, not even in the slightest. In fact, she’d probably consider the blonde one of her closest friends at this point. However, even the toughest person would admit it was hard watching someone they had feelings for fall over themselves to impress someone that clearly wasn’t interested whatsoever. Not that anyone knew about this crush she’d been harboring. They were still stuck in a killing game, damn it!! This wasn’t important! So then why did her heart break a little every time Kazuichi attempted to woo Sonia only to be met with indifference? She shook her head clear of her thoughts as she finished her meal, just in time for a certain pink bunny to join the conversation. Monomi was greeted with the same annoyance that she typically was before she’d explained that she’d defeated another Monobeast and in turn, another island had opened up. The mood was still low, so there was some indecisiveness whether they should really go while Fuyuhiko was still recovering, or how sketchy Monomi’s position in this whole thing really was. However, they ended up agreeing to go explore the new island, mostly thanks to Chiaki encouraging everyone to go explore and instead of sitting around and doing nothing. With that, and the smallest amount of hope in their hearts, the group made their way to the third island. 

Ibuki was dead. That was what happened right? Ibuki Mioda, the Ultimate Musician, had died and gone to heaven, right? Cause that was the only explanation for what she was seeing right now. She was silently stunned for just a moment before letting out a loud “YA-HOOOOOO!!!!” Right before her eyes was a certified, amazing, best-thing-she’d-ever-seen MUSIC VENUE!! Her yelling had attracted the attention of several of her friends, who’d  immediately made their way over. 

“Is everything alright, Ibuki!?” Sonia was the first to approach the ravenette, who only nodded enthusiastically, pointing aggressively at the venue. 

“Ibuki found a music venue!! ...Ibuki found a music venue!!! This is the best day EVER!!!” Ibuki cheered, looking back and forth between her friends and the incredible building. Kazuichi, who was still panting some after rushing over so quickly let out a larger sigh as he crossed his arms. 

“Oh man, that’s it? I was- er- you made Miss Sonia rush over and worry for nothing!” The mechanic huffed, looking over to the princess as if she was going to reiterate his point. “Miss Sonia?” Evidently not as the blonde was simply grinning widely towards Ibuki. “That’s wonderful! I am certainly looking forward to hearing you play here, Ibuki!” She said as Akane let out an audible sigh from behind both of them. 

“Ok cool. No danger? C’mon then, let’s go find some more cool stuff!!” She exclaimed as the other two followed, clearly assuming Ibuki wanted to stay at the music venue for a little longer. After they left, Ibuki let out a long breath. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to Kazuichi prioritizing Sonia over pretty much anything and everything else, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t stung when he’d completely glossed over her excitement about the music video to worry over Sonia. Especially considering they were still supposed to be friends, right?? She sniffled then immediately shook herself out, determined not to let these dumb feelings overshadow her happiness about there being a music venue!! An entire music venue!! It was like it was made just for her!! With a slightly heavy heart, she went inside to explore the venue itself just a bit more. 

--

After...an incredibly eventful rest of the day in which Fuyuhiko was revealed to be alright, albeit missing an eye, Ibuki returned to her cottage, absolutely exhausted from everything that's happened up to this point. Her eyes were drooping and her physical body was more than ready to slip into as peaceful of a sleep as she’d be able to manage. Unfortunately for the musician, her mind was running a mile a minute, as was normal, but tonight it seemed to be at a pace that wouldn’t allow her to drift off anytime soon. Thus Ibuki was stuck pacing around her room, itching to play something in an attempt to empty her thoughts, but knowing everyone else was likely asleep, or at least attempting to. She was loud and a bit oblivious at times, but even she had the sense not to play her music this late. “Grrrr!! Shut up!” She whisper-yelled to herself, pointing an accusatory finger towards the culprit: her own head. Her thoughts normally didn’t bug her so much, so she had no clue what the issue was today! However, she froze when her mind took her back to a certain event from earlier. Huh. Suppose that was having a bit of a bigger effect on her than she would’ve liked. Groaning to herself, she finally decided she had enough of her room. She needed fresh air. Quietly opening her door, she confirmed that the lights in pretty much everyone’s cottages were off. Trying her best not to make a sound, she escaped to the only place she could think of.

The music venue was quiet. Not too different from earlier, but it was still an eerie silence considering how loud and lively they typically are. Making her way over the stage, she allowed herself to daydream about what it’d be like to play here. Perhaps for the others?? It wasn’t much, but it was definitely something she could do to help lift everyone’s spirits. Considering everything that’s been happening, Ibuki thought that would be the most important thing at the moment. Once she reached the stage, she turned around and lifted herself up, so she was sitting on the edge, allowing her legs to dangle lazily over the side. Alright, she got away from her cottage. Now what? She rubbed her temples as if that would keep her racing thoughts at bay. Unfortunately, not such luck. She sat in silence for who knows how long, eventually allowing herself to lay back down on the stage and stare absentmindedly towards the ceiling. 

Ibuki wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she stubbornly refused to leave until her mind had calmed down. Obviously, this hadn’t happened yet by the time she heard the loud creak of the main door to the music venue opening. Instantly sitting up and fearing for her life (she still was in a killing school trip after all) Ibuki scooted back with her eyes wide. “Who’s there!?” She demanded before seeing the unmistakable head of pink hair poke out from behind the heavy doors. 

“Just me!! I swear!!” Kazuichi almost immediately held up his hands in surrender before fully entering the music venue. Not sensing any sort of danger anymore, Ibuki felt herself relax a bit. However, she tensed back up once more remembering that the reason for her sleep troubles stood right in front of her, though completely oblivious about it. She let out a gentle sigh before pulling one of her knees up to reach her chest and resting her chin on it. “Thought I saw you leave your cottage…’spose I guessed right where you’d end up…” Kazuichi continued despite Ibuki’s uncharacteristic silence. Eventually he ended up at the stage as well, lifting himself up to sit beside her. Seeming to finally catch on to her mood, glanced over to look at her with furrowed brows. “Hey, uh, why’re you awake right now? I mean, I guess I get it but it’s almost three in the damn morning!” Hearing what time it actually was, Ibuki’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. Had she really been sitting in the music venue and moping for that long?? Instead of answering, she pulled her second leg up to her chin and continued staring into the nothingness of the music venue. Ugh, what is wrong with me? She internally scolded herself, but couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth. “Ibuki? Hey, you can talk to me y’know!?” The concern in his voice was apparent as he craned his head to get her to look at him. 

“It’s stupid. Ibuki’s just overthinking… Don’t worry about it.” Ibuki finally turned to him, cracking a smile in an attempt to get him to drop it. However, this failed as his expression changed to one that clearly said ‘I don’t believe you.’

“That’s BS. I specialize in stupidity, and even I know that something that makes Ibuki Mioda this quiet isn’t nothing. So c’mon. Out with it!” He retorted, flashing his signature shark-toothed grin that always managed to make Ibuki feel at ease. She let out an involuntary chuckle and self consciously tugged at her hair. 

“Like Ibuki said: overthinking. How messed up everything is. Worrying about small stupid things when everyone’s dying. How you like Sonia when it’s obvious she’s into Gundham-” The second the words left her mouth, she wanted to stuff them back in and never speak again. Damnit!! Subtly was never the rocker’s strong suit and it really showed. She watched Kazuichi let out a sharp breath, leaning back on both hands. Ibuki was ready to run off, praying he’d forget everything and remember it as some weird dream when she heard his soft voice finally begin speaking. 

“Y’know...at this point, I’m not even sure. Yeah, she’s a hot blonde princess, someone my pop would’ve seen as acceptable to bring home or whatever. I dunno…” He ended up trailing off with a faraway look in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” Ibuki wasn’t quite sure what she was apologizing for, probably opening her big mouth. Kazuichi shook it off with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

“Don’t be. It’s whatever. I’ll get over it.” He shrugged, looking back at Ibuki. The two locked eyes for just a moment too long before the mechanic cleared his throat. “Anyway, in the meantime, we should probably get you some sleep. C’mon, let’s go.” Kazuichi hopped off the stage, holding his hand out to her with a grin. “Gotta be well rested if you wanna make use of this place and perform for us sometime.” Ibuki let out a yawn, the exhaustion she was feeling from the day finally hitting her. She simply let out a little ‘mhm’ before taking his hand and allowing him to guide her out of the venue. “Oh hey! If you ever wanted to add some sweet modifications to your guitar I could totally do that!! Maybe if-” Kazuichi rambled on about cool things he could do to her instrument while Ibuki listened with a content smile. She could tell it was an attempt to keep her awake until they got back to their respective cottages. Thankfully, it was working, though she still needed the support of an arm around her waist to make sure she didn’t wander off or anything. As she took in the brisk incredibly early morning air, she practically felt the atmosphere between them changing, and wondered if he could too. Whatever happened next, they could face it and get off this island. She was sure of it.

[peterstestkitchen]

Circus Peanut Peanut Butter

Rating: 5/5 ~ 16 votes

Time: 5 minutes (omnivore, unhealthy version), 7 minutes (vegan, unhealthy version), 1 hour (vegan, healthy version)

Every Thursday when I was a kid, my mom would plop me and my brother down at the local library for children’s storytime. When it was over and the head librarian had dismissed us, I would roam the library in order to gaze upon my favorite library things: the model ships, the strange YA cartoon books, and the aisle where every book had a blue sticker of a man smoking a pipe. When mom showed up again and it was time to go, a video cassette—the Star Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles,” usually—was clasped between my grubby paws. In my brother’s, the latest installment in the Hank the Cowdog children’s book series. Ahh… just thinking about the VHS section and I can smell the polypropylene-imbued air sure to be found when in close proximity to the clamshell case palisade!

Come spring, a box of circus tickets would appear on the library counter suspiciously close to the checkout machine. The circus was coming to town! ...And our parents would never let us go. ...Until the day they did.

In truth, I don’t remember much from the circus. It wasn’t in a tent, it was in the town’s hockey arena—and poodles took the place of elephants. In fact, I didn’t even eat circus peanuts while there! Get this, my dad bought a box of Cracker Jacks—for himself! However, this was the genesis of my love affair with the circus. Sorry, honey. There’s someone else… and his name is Barry Lubin! (Barry Lubin is a famous clown.)

Fast forward to the near present and after getting the quarantine spring jibblies, I finally snapped and declared, “If I can’t go to the circus, well, in fact, I’ll bring the circus to me!” (Side note: still to this very day I have only been to the circus once. It’s more about having the feeling that I could go to a circus if I wanted to, rather than the feeling of being barred from a yearly ritual. After all, circuses are generally banal and raise many animal treatment issues. Again, it’s the romanticized circus I like. The Idea of Circus.) So I decided to acquire some circus peanuts, having never actually tried them before.

“So, from where did circus peanuts first appear, even?” you ask. Well, it appears no one knows. They are believed to have come onto the confectionary colosseum sometime in the 1800s, making them one of the oldest continuously produced candies. Well, I shouldn’t say continuously produced, as they originally were a seasonal treat before better packaging techniques were invented! Thank you, science! :) My best guess is that they originated as an ersatz peanut product, similar to how the hazelnut was used as a filler with which to cut chocolate products during a cocoa scarcity in Italy during WWII. (More talk about hazelnut spreads below!) Whatever the case, this homemade recipe is on scale! :) Okay, so back to business.

Acquiring circus peanuts in quarantine was a bit harder than expected. Every store I visited was sold out: Fleet Farm, Walgreens, Kwik Trip—all out! Alas, toilet paper wasn’t the only thing people were snatching up! Curse you, omnivores! (Side note: lest we forget this pandemic would have never happened had the world been vegan. I don’t think it’s wrong of me to suggest that everyone who consumes animal products from factory farms should have to pay the unemployed vegans an extra $600 a month. Why should I, a humble plant eater, pay for the mess of the omnivores yet again? Stop eating meat, y’all! Factually stated, 41% of all land in the United States is used for livestock! What a fuckin’ waste! And excusez mon français!)

So instead of continuing on a wild goose chase to find these golden eggs, I decided to take a radical approach and make my own circus peanuts. (Plus, I found out after Googling around that circus peanuts aren’t even vegan! For shame!) This is where things start to get a little tricky. You see, I’m a bit of a health nut. Well, maybe a little more than a bit of one... I may be a full-on health peanut! Peanuts like me would never eat something so processed anyway... But who’s to say I can’t have a taste of the circus in a healthy, vegan way? Why not make homemade circus peanut peanut butter? And better yet, why not use duckweed as a base instead of circus peanuts? You get all the goodness of the circus but in a spreadable way with all the health benefits of the most nutrient dense plant known to humanity. For yumzeez! :)

World’s healthiest food

For those who only know duckweed from smelly retention ponds, duckweed (also known as water lentils) is actually a great food for humans. It has more protein than soy, has many antioxidants, and is a natural source of B12. Get this, the bacteria that make B12 grow in a symbiotic relationship with the plant! Question: How neat is that? Answer: That’s pretty neat! And by the way, omnis, B12 comes from bacteria in the dirt that vegan animals eat. Given that most cows and chickens eat feed that’s been washed, these animals too have to be given vitamins—the meat you eat is trash :) 

So I finnicked for a long time to get the duckweed circus peanut peanut butter spread consistency right (we’ll save that process for a different post!), bought some peanut-shaped molds from eBay, found some food coloring in the back of the cabinet, and I was off to the races! Err, Circus! I had done it! I had made circus peanut peanut butter! Granted, it tasted more like an artificially flavored banana salad than candy, but it’s the thought that counts!

So… days go by and I get tested and find out I don’t have the coronavirus. Yipee! Time to see my folks! ...But I couldn’t serve that to my family. They’d think I’d lost my marbles! So instead, I came up with a more palatable, albeit less healthy, option. Instead of duckweed, I would use Trader Joe’s brand vegan marshmallows, dye them to the proper color, and mold them in shape. Then I could serve my folks organic, gluten free, non-GMO circus peanuts, or I could blend them to make totally delicious circus peanut peanut butter. Then maybe make a circus-y themed fluffernutter? Mmmmm!

And there’s even an option for the omnis among us: get real circus peanuts and follow the same procedure. (Just know if you do that, the gelatin you’ll be consuming will be from the bones, skin, and hooves of dozens of different cows or pigs.) For simplicity’s sake and also because I am collaborating with an omni for this post, we ended up going with regular circus peanuts. She had already purchased the circus peanuts before I could alert her that it had to be vegan. My bad! :^O “’Tis better to use the food you have than to let it go to waste.” Plus, they were Spangler brand, the classic choice for circus peanuts!

Aforementioned, I called in the big guns: food stylist, chef, event planner, and artist, Kendal Kulley. Check her out on Instagram! She assisted me as we made her favorite sandwich with the addition of my favorite ingredient: the Circus Peanut Peanut Butter and Pudding and Chocolate Peanut Butter Sandwich! First, take lightly toasted Whole Wheat bread (100% whole wheat works best). Then, slather a thick layer of homemade circus peanut peanut butter followed by a smathering of lemon pudding (Snack pack brand is my favorite, lemon is her favorite flavor (within the Snack pack brand family)). Next, add a sprinkling of hemp hearts for a bit of protein and roughage—not to mention polyunsaturated fats!

After that, Kendal likes to add a squidge of chocolate flavored peanut butter or hazelnut spread to thicken the whole thing up. Please note that I do not condone the use of most flavored peanut butters or products like Nutella as they often contain palm oil, a cash crop leading to rainforest deforestation. The same goes for cocoa. Instead, I propose we continue to advocate that the UN apportion monies to residents of poorer rainforested countries so they can live comfortably and keep our biggest source of oxygen intact. I’m happy pitching in a handful of dollars every year if it means I can keep breathing clean air :)

Then, simply close it up and enjoy! Buuuuuuut, if you’re feeling really ambitious like we are, you can make… wait for it… a TRIPLE DECKER! Just repeat the process over again with a third slice and add it on top! YUM. Cut it in half and there you have it! A perfect guilt-free (provided you followed the vegan duckweed version and omitted the peanut butter and used a more hearty bread) lunch item! Bon appétit!

I hope you enjoy this recipe and let me know in the comments how it turned out! It shouldn’t take any more than five minutes if doing the omni method (grrrr!) and about one hour for the healthy vegan method. It makes one jar worth and will last three to five days in the refrigerator—but it never lasts that long! Oh, and if you do end up having sandwich leftovers, it works great for a morning hash! But again, I, for one, almost never have leftovers! :)

Peace!

Peter 

Omnivore version (unhealthy):

Ingredients:

1 package Spangler brand circus peanuts

4 tbsp water

If making chunky, set aside one circus peanut to mince in a food processor or with a knife. In a large bowl, add the circus peanuts and water. Microwave for two minutes on high or until the circus peanuts have expanded to twice their size. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container.

Vegan version (unhealthy):

Ingredients:

1 package Trader Joe’s brand vegan marshmallows

4 tbsp water

2 drops natural banana flavor

4 drops orange food coloring

In a large bowl, add the marshmallows and water. Microwave for two minutes on high or until the marshmallows have expanded and softened. Mix in the food coloring and natural flavor and microwave for another minute. Add to mold and set sit until at room temperature. When fully set, add to Vitamix and blend until desired peanut butter consistency is achieved. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container.

Vegan version (healthy):

Ingredients:

6 cups fresh duckweed

4 tbsp flaxseed meal.

4 drops natural banana flavor

12-18 drops orange food coloring

If making homemade duckweed, follow these instructions and skip the next step. If collecting from a pond, read on. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In an Instant Pot or lesser pressure cooker, steam the duckweed for one minute on high pressure with the valve set to sealing. Do five minutes of natural pressure release. Blend in the Vitamix with food coloring, flaxseed meal, and banana flavor until it becomes a fine mush. Put in peanut mold. Place in the oven for 10 minutes, or until the peanuts have mostly dried out. Put back in the Vitamix and blend until you have the desired level of consistency. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container. 

Captions:

Oh look! An ant wanted to join us! Hello, little ant!

Comments:

Feel free to email me your comments and I will add them below :)

OMG this looks so goooood!

Thanks for the post, Peter! I just wanna say that I too used to go to the circus with my family every year and loved it! I will try this recipe ASAP.

[extraterrestrialmasquerade]

Battle at Silver Frontier Military Base

Location: Empire’s Military Base at the Silver Frontier Lunar Colony

C’therax felt as if fire was in his veins every single time he breathed.  Instinct told him not stir.  There were sounds…jeers…shouts…then someone talking with a cruel but gleeful voice.  

C’therax remembered fire and figures running…laser cannons…the sound of C’rululian tentacles striking metal and crushing bone…and of Oquruian Ion blasts…

The ship flipping 180 degrees…seeing the glowing lunar isolation…a flash of light…a rush of motion…then pain…

C’therax remained absolutely still as he checked his body mentally.  Nothing was obviously broken.  But his hands were tied.  Ooze droppings.  He listened to the voice speaking over an amplifier.

“For too long the Empire has claimed cultural superiority over us!  Destroying our ways of life!  Barricading and sanctioning us over alleged “human rights’ abuses!  It’s just an excuse to topple our governments to help their businesses!  They may have ceased taking colonies, but THEIR IDEOLOGICAL COLONIZATION CONTINUES”

Great.  I am a Oquruian prisoner.  Well I might as well size things up.

Taking care to remain absolutely still, C’therax sightly opened one eye. “He stirs!” Ooze droppings.

He opened both eyes and kept an emotionless face.  C’therax was tied in front of a camera and arranged in a half circle were dozens of Oquruian fighters.  Upon seeing C’therax stir they started a new round of raucous jeering.  Behind C’therax was the desk of the Diplomat of the Silver Frontier with the gold seal of the Empire blazoned upon it.  It had several laser-holes in it now.  A fitting backdrop for an anti-Empire propaganda video C’therax thought.  

I hope Xogue got to read my response to her letter before she was taken.  

The speaker at the microphone turned and got as close to C’therax face as he could while being out of reach of his pinchers and spat on him.  C’therax suppressed the urge to try to use his natural C’rululian acid-spit defense mechanism knowing that it was standard protocol for Oquruian bracelets to be rigged to electrify their prisoner should any of his species’ natural defense powers be activated.  

C’therax sized up his captor.  Both C’rululians and Oquruians were standard bipedal, opposable thumbed creatures.  C’rululians had a slight greenish tinge to their skin whereas Oqurians had a reddish tinge and a leathery texture to their skin.  Both species had pinchers around their mouths.  C’therax was pleased that his captors hadn’t broken his off.  He supposed his so-called “anti-colonialist” captors wanted him to be conscious to experience the pain of their removal.  Oqurians were known for their ability to summon quantum blasts that were effective long range weapons and to detonate small explosions within a three foot radius of their formidable claws.  C’rululians had tentacles that they could summon from the quantum realm that, when made extant in the physical world, could range as long as ten feet and connected to their arms.  While C’rululins were stronger and had an effective acid-spit weapon, Oquruians were faster and could more then compensate for their weaker bodies with their natural defenses.  

“Prisoner of justice!  You stand on trial here today for crimes you have committed in service to the Empire’s arrogance.  You have no jurisdiction to be policing the galaxy!  You will answer for crimes against the Pyronians, the Oquruians and against numerous outcasts of the Seven Worlds!  But before we have you undergo a fitting experience of justice let us show you how quickly the empires propaganda can fade!  Bring us our liberated Daughter!”

Xogue came in dressed in the ceremonial robes of the Pyronian people. 

 C’therax suppressed a burst of rage because he knew Xogue would find those robes more humiliating than his chains.  Those who did not comply to the caste system and the standards of decency the robes implied could be beaten or killed, often by their own families.  For Xogue the ceremonial robes were a sign of oppression.  

Xogue was placed in front of the camera.  “Hello, my name is Xogue and I want to thank the Anti-Colonist Insurgents for liberating me from the brainwashing of the Empire.”

What are you doing Xogue? C’therax thought.  

“I was promised liberation if I would forsake the ways of my ancestors and participate in their culture’s depravities….”

Xogue opened a suitcase she was carrying.  As was standard in these captivity videos, there were shocks of horror whenever some supposed artifact of the Empire’s depravity was brought forward.  C’therax stared at the suitcases contents.  It contained numerous items that the captors would deem proof of the Empires immorality.  But nothing of that sort would interest Xogue.  C’therax stared closer.  Something wasn’t right about the items…they all looked wrong.  C’therax found that when he moved his eyes from one item to another he was unable to move his eyes back to the original item he had been looking at.  

“The thing about propaganda…” Xogue continued.  C’therax noticed that the original speaker was worried.  Xogue was going on script.  “..it only lets you see things that fit your worldview.” Xogue let out a psionic scream and her psychic illusion was broken.  Instead of ceremonial robes everyone now saw she was wearing combat armor and the suitcase she was caring was not holding proofs of the Empire’s alleged polluted culture but was rather holding several self-flying laser turrets.  Chaos exploded as the remote controlled turrets opened fire and Oquruian bodies started dropping and blood started soaking the walls and floors.  Xogue dropped a smoke pellet and dashed to C’therax as Oquruian quantum bolts lashed out at her.  C’therax felt his bracelets charge to give him a probably lethal shock but Xogue activated one of Dr. Vyryn’s more ingenious gadgets in time and soon several auto-aimed lasers blasted off C’therax’s bonds.  C’therax let out a roar and summoned his tentacles and started spinning in a furious pinwheel of death.  Soon debris and bodies were flying and the sound of his tentacles crushing armor and bone were heard through out the hall.  

A quantum blast from the event’s main speaker soared just over C’therax’s head and he wisely stopped his assault to seek cover under the desk.  Reserve Oquruian fighters poured into the hallway but were soon driven off by a liberation squadron led by Dr. Vyryn, a fierce fighter in his own right, even if he considered medical functions to be his expertise.

Behind the desk Xogue gave C’therax a blaster and continued up a barrage of psionic screams to disrupt and distract the enemy.  C’therax’s adversary had taken up refuge behind a large statue of one of the Empire’s greatest diplomat and for a long while they both exchanged laxer fire without being able to hit the other.  Eventually seeing that any hope of reinforcements had been slain by attacking C’rululians the Oquruian propagandist dropped several grenades and in the resulting chaos darted out the hall’s back door.  C’rululians forces followed suit.  

“It’s a good thing their hate made their minds easy to psi-hack,” Xogue muttered.

Several explosions rocked the hall and soon an air-raid alarm sounded.   “C’therax!  There are incoming Anti-Empire forces bombing the base!” Dr. Vyryn shouted.  “Intelligence says they want to take out the Platinum Grade ship we had prepared for our Earth mission!”  

“Lets get the ship into orbit!  We can defend it from there easier than in the atmosphere!”

“No” C’therax responded.  “We need to launch for Earth now.”

“What!?!” Xogue said.  “While bombs are dropping?  From Orbit we can provide air support to insure these monsters don’t kill any more of us.”

“Our general I am sure is more than up for that task Xogue!“ Dr. Vyryn said.  “C’therax is right.  The number of enemy fighters is not enough to do substantial damage to the base or it’s inhabitants.  It’s a suicide mission.  These fighters want to be die gloriously taking down one of the few ships we have that is ready to reach Earth.  Once they find its location they will all concentrate on that area.  The only safe space is Earth!”

A huge explosion shook the building and cracks started appearing and growing on the walls.  

“LETS MOVE!” C’therax shouted” “Vyryn, tell Sp’rark to meet us at the launch site”  They met no enemy resistance as they tore through the bases weakening halls but they could hear the sounds of aerial battle being played out above their heads.  They found the ship which was a silver tube with rounded edges.  It had eight legs.  The cannons in front were designed to make it look like a giant spider with large cruel jaws.  It had massive after burners on its rear.  Once inside Vyryn and C’therax took their place upfront at the weapon stations.

“Where is Sp’r…” C’therax began “GRRRR” came a sound and C’therax gave a start and almost released his tentacles.  “Easy boy,” a young Senonian woman said as she struggled to restrain the angry Crater Wolf.  “Good to see you Sp’rark!” C’therax said, “You too Apoll-roe” he continued addressing the wolf. Sp’rark was a Soenonian woman with gorgeous glittering silver skin that contrasted strangely with the layer of black soot that was currently covering it.  She contrasted strongly with her jet-black and fearsome Crater Wolf.

Sp’rark took her seat near the rear of the ship next to a holding pen for her Crater Wolf companion.  Xogue stood on a silver platform and started to float as her mind reached out to the ship’s psionic controls.

“Control tower this is an emergency take off.  Destination Earth!” C’therax shouted as Xogue mentally deployed the ship’s afterburners. Within half a second they were roaring through the lunar base’s atmosphere.   “Enemy ship heading to X3534 R3433 35-2141-02” Vyryn shouted.  “There is nothing there…except Earth” “I guess we will have company on Earth” C’therax said. “So Xogue, we will get to kick some ass after all!” “We need to blast out of orbit quickly Xogue!  Fighters are pouring in!” Vywrn shouted.   Sp’rark’s Crater Wolf started to whine, startled by the ships rocking and she began singing it a lullaby.

“Hush little larvae get some rest And curl up in your nest. Baby dear don’t fear the sky Even if the strangers can fly”

“Xogue enemy fighters getting close!  What in the name of our Dear King are you doing!!!” Vyryn shouted. “Not…yet..”Xogue said.  Her eyes were glazed over.  Her lower brain functions now believed that the ship was their body and Xogue only had a fragmentary understanding of events inside the cabin.  Her mind was peering through the ship’s optical instruments.

From the view ports C’therax saw Oquruian ships start to form a shrinking noose attack formation meant to limit their prey’s ability to dodge laser fire.

“Xogue…now might be a good time…

A siren started blaring.  “They are in range Xogue!”

Xogue let out a mighty battle cry and unleashed the full power of the ship’s mobius reactor and the resulting shock wave released a percussive wave that damaged the incoming enemy fleet and launched their ship towards the wormhole that would lead to that strange new world called Earth.

As the stars swept by C’therax resisted the urge to cry.  Home already seemed so far…and may never come back again.  As he thought of home he listened to Sp’rark’s lullaby, one that he had been sung as a child.

“Hush little larvae get some rest And curl up in your nest. Baby dear don’t fear the sky Even if the strangers can fly But if they do fly… I’ll swap a dove for a cloud from the sky And if they can stick to the roof above… I’ll swap a rug for a nest made with love. And if they can slurp an eight-legged bug... I’ll ask them to clean the lice from our pug. But in your bed you must lay ‘cause it’s an Extraterrestrial Masquerade.”