#but this new update doesn't care about any damn lore in some ways and it does it in a fun way

[slime-crafters]

To be fair, this is kind of a fairy vs walrus situation.

Like, it's much easier to accept/think it's normal that I have forest magic given to me by a wizard who's also the town hermit and that drinking green tea makes me hallucinate, but it's too much to believe that green water rains down and causes the entire valley to be absolutely flooded with fiber and magically-growing trees and also it makes you feel like you're in the apocalypse the first time it happens

The best thing about the new stardew update is you can tell concerned ape got comfortable just being fucking weird. Which is understandable considering most indie devs have to be some level of insane

[fyeahnix]

Been thinking about Sevika a bit and I had some thoughts.... Vander included as well.

First off I'm leaving this untagged because I don't want the wrong people to get a hold of this but you can reblog if you want.

Second, to be clear, I have not seen/read/consumed any leaks about anything related to Arcane out of choice. I wanted to see this series unfold on release days and enjoy being unspoiled with most of the rest of the fandom. Nothing I say here regarding theories will have anything to do with leaks. If they do, I promise you it's coincidence or I'm just good at reading the tea leaves. That being said, please for my sake and the people reading this post, don't be an asshole and say anything related to any leaked content, vague mention or not. Actually if you read any leaks related to this, I'd really prefer if you kept any and all comments to yourself. This is primarily for folks like me who are just theorizing for fun until we get more officially released info.

Anyway let me start..

Life and Death

As I've said before, I am still fearing Sevika's death. That remains true even after Act 1 of the season has concluded. We know from the teasers and trailers that Sevika is getting a wardrobe update and a new look for Act 2 and beyond. But I still fear what will happen. I do think her situation can either go one of two ways:

Sevika Lives

I haven't had a chance to actually write this out in a fic yet but one of my headcanons for Sevika is that she'd heavily reconsider the real fight for Zaun if she met someone who she really and truly grew to care for and love. And not because she's flaky or Zaun doesn't matter. But because these life and death situations are incredibly more difficult when you have people in mind to protect. What happens if you die? Who will protect them when you're gone? Is it worth setting them up for heartache by putting yourselves in the line of fire? That's a lot to consider.

Season 1 showed us that Sevika thought Vander was weak for not taking the fight to Zaun a second time. But what she didn't understand was that he had loved ones to look after—kids. Would it be worth making them parentless a second time for Zaun's liberation? Who would look after them? That's a tough question to answer. And I think the rest of this season will build up to Sevika coming to the same realization that Vander and Silco did before her—is putting my home and life in danger worth risking losing my loved ones or my loved ones losing me?

I hate that now I just look like a damn copycat if this ends up coming to fruition but that's just the stress of being a slow ass writer. Oh well lol.

In any case, since it looks like Jinx is gonna be the real deal when it comes to taking the fight to Piltover, I'm willing to bet that Zaun will win their independence. It looks like they have it now in the current (now old) League lore so I don't think that outcome will change. If that wasn't the case, I'd say Sevika would probably give that fight up and live or straight up leave Zaun to go elsewhere.

Sevika Dies

I can see Sevika's death happen one of two ways:

1) Killed by Enforcers. This is obvious. Unfortunately it happens to a lot of Zaunites. I can see this happening to her either by getting caught somewhere unawares or protecting either Jinx and/or Isha.

2) Warwick*. This is...a tricky one. Most of us who know the absolute bare minimum of League lore know that Warwick is a genetically modified werewolf created by Singed but outside of that, I don't think we ever got his full identity (I know Riot has a short story for him but I haven't read it). It's pretty obvious by now that Vander is becoming Warwick. The big question is going to be what does that mean for the rest of the characters and Zaun? And how much of his memories will Warwick retain from being Vander?

If he does retain flashes of those memories, I can see him being pissed about what he may see as a betrayal and decide to kill Sevika for supporting Silco.....

More On Vander/Warwick

....HOWEVER....

I think it's also completely possible that Warwick retains some of his memories BUT encounters Sevika while she's with Jinx and Isha. And his memories of Jinx stop him from killing Sevika which would be VERY INTERESTING for two reasons. One, I think it would mean a lot to him to see his kid being protected and accepted by someone he felt betrayed him. That maybe he thought wrong of her because this kid he once knew as sweet and innocent likes her. And two, Jinx says to Smeech right before their fight that people close to her usually end up dead. Well what if Sevika ends up alive when confronting Warwick because she's around Jinx? That would be an interesting flip from last season and that statement overall.

Second point here. About Zaun's liberation, what if Warwick ends up being a key weapon to helping liberate them? The Chem Tanks attack on Piltover was devastating and if it wasn't for the Noxians, they would have caused quite a lot of destruction. Warwick's abilities are unknown right now and it doesn't even look like he's fully completed his transformation. The Enforcers hear about a giant ass wolf man monster roaming the streets of Zaun or too many die at his hands and are like "actually nvm they can fucking have their independence."

I'm almost sure the creators have said it's possible for more Arcane characters to become Legends in League so maybe Sevika could become one at some point? Idk

So yeah I am still bracing myself for the worst but ultimately just enjoying any screen time we get with her. According to the intro sequence, she ain't important enough to make a main character, so it's possible she's doomed OR she might be one of the characters who has their story expanded in a future League universe work when Arcane ends, which I'm almost sure will happen with Ambessa.

[ashes-writing-corner]

Life update

Aka life sucks and I hate it

Tw for dark/suicidal thoughts (don't worry I haven't and will not do anything)

I'm trying so fucking hard to try and do better for myself. I've dedicated myself to a writing project, and one that I love, and I'm not getting anything for it. I don't know what to do for it. I get nothing. I get no likes. No reblogs. No followers. I actually lost one...out of SIX! Five followers on my writing blog and that's it.

I'm gonna try and keep things as organized here as I can because I am really damn emotional right now. I have had some really dark thoughts this morning and I don't know what to do.

For folks who don't know, I work at build a bear as my primary job. And I love it. I absolutely love it. It's been a big part of helping heal from some pretty bad stuff. The problem is I don't get a lot of hours. I get paid more than what I did when I was working fast food, but I don't work as much. I'm pretty sure you can see how this is a problem.

This is part of the reason why I started a patreon. I eventually do want to make writing content my full time job. I know it's not easy. And maybe I'm being a little hasty and expecting too much too fast, but I am in a pretty serious financial bind. I have a phone bill due, I have to put money on my bus pass so that I can continue to go to work. I also have a bearded dragon who I still need to get food and supplies for (no matter what he comes first. Mostly food. Little man eats better than I do). All the while I am struggling to feed myself and struggling to help my mom and my sister with bills. My mom's boyfriend is an abusive prick who barely does anything for her. He brings junk food to the table and that's about it.

I earn so little now that I practically can't even afford to put money away. I put any spare change I have away in a lock box so I can turn it in at the end of the month. But it's all getting to be too much.

And today it's just really hitting really hard. I can't get a second job because I can't handle two jobs that I can't control at the same time. I can write whenever I want so thats why I can handle juggling my job and this.

I thought when I moved my life up here to the north that I would get far more support. And it would seem so to anyone on the outside looking in. But since I announced my patreon launch, no one has supported me. No one has asked me how my writing is going. No one has asked me anything and barely given me any encouragement. I feel like no one actually cares. I feel like no one gives a damn except to make themselves look/feel good. And that sucks beyond words. It makes me feel used if I'm being honest.

My situation has actually gotten so bad that I seriously considered this morning trying to find a way to end it all. My parents down south hate me. My older sister doesn't speak to me even to check on me. And I thought that it was okay, that I didn't need them. I have my biomom and my sister up here and we help each other but it's just...not enough. I just feel very dark about everything right now. I'm not gonna do anything crazy, I don't have a means to and right now I'm just sad and feeling worthless and like I'm putting all this work in for nothing.

Essentially I'm working on two books at the same time. In addition to In the Heart of Winter, which I post here, I'm also posting lore on my patreon for my story to sort of help fill in the blanks for things I might not get around to in the story. And it's a lot of work. In addition, I also make the collages at the beginning of each new chapter, and I post those to my Instagram. Basically the only things I post there. I just...I feel like I'm doing all of this for nothing. And a part of me is wondering why the hell I'm even bothering.

And I tell that part of myself that I'm doing it because I want to. Because this is my dream. And dreams aren't easy. They're hard work and dedication. Even though I feel like my world is crashing down around me, I can't give up. I won't. It's not easy, but I've never needed easy. All I need right now is possible and that's what I'm going for.

If you can, if you read this far thanks, but if you can, please, please donate to my patreon, it's in my pinned post, and please follow my Instagram. Should also be linked or at least it's got the same name as my blog here. When/if I make a YouTube channel, I intend to link that too. I feel pathetic for this but I really feel like I don't have a choice.

Thank you