#but this is truly a good counterpoint haha

[runningwithmyeyesclosed]

Did I read a 91,000 word fic within 24 hours of the last fic i finished? Yep. Am I a little shocked at the speed in which I read fanfics? Yea a bit. Will that stop me? Nothing can!

Balance, Imperfect by bixgirl1

Main Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Pairing Type: Healer Draco/Patient Harry

Type: Post Hogwarts - Non Epilogue Compliant

Spice: 8/10 (but I'd say a lower 8 maybe than the last fic maybe?)

Word Count: 91,000

POV Alternating (but with like counterpoint! We got both POVs for one scene and I am LIVING for it)

My Summary: When Harry gets into a life changing accident, he is faced with the fact that his whole life has to change. Draco, who has spent his life since hogwarts away from England, finds a patient that makes him willing to stay. Harry and Draco must learn that sometimes it's okay to have imperfect balance.

My thoughts: Questionable Healer/Patient relationship enters the chat. Haha well for the most part they talk about it at multiple points. They point out that the relationship is wholly inappropriate. Which is good! There are a lot of reasons that I'm not knowledgeable enough to talk about why Healer Patient relationships are inappropriate! With that out of the way I loves it haha I truly enjoy Healer Malfoy even when it's not Patient Harry. I think the characterization of Healer Draco is always lovely.

I am personally not a huge slowburn fan, haha. I get so frustrated! So that to say this one worked for me. I can deal with angst and a bit of misunderstanding, so this was my jam. I love the satisfaction of falling in love and then reconciliation.

Anyway healer Draco ftw. (How old does that sentence make me sound?)

[vi-is-badass]

"I think ultimately our difference is that you're approaching your critique from the perspective of "here's what the writers should have done in order to more effectively tell the story they wanted to tell" and I'm more going at it from an angle of "here's the story I wanted them to tell"."

You definitely hit the nail on the head haha. I hadn't really noticed that until you pointed it out, but now that you have it's obvious.

I hadn't really considered talking about the show in terms of "what I would have wanted". I think about my issues with stories in a way that's centered around improving/maximizing the impact of what we have because I can't go back and completely change it to fit my expectations. I hadn't really considered thinking of what-ifs. So I think the way you've approached our conversation is interesting!

I was definitely looking at your point about Vi's role in the final battle through the lens you accurately pointed out and it caused me to misinterpret the intent behind your viewpoint that Vi not doing anything isn't inherently a problem and could instead represent an (incredibly interesting!) commentary on the fact that a truly kindhearted person can't change a broken system. My perspective caused me to look at it from a different angle than you intended and looking back with that in mind a few of my points sound a bit nitpicky over semantics and that was not my intention at all. I hope none of my counterpoints came across as confrontational. Sorry if they did!

I want to address your point about the final battle first since I think it's really interesting. I will admit I saw the writing on the wall as someone who knew league lore and saw the trailers for the season that Viktor and the arcane were going to be the big bad of the season, so I wasn't caught off guard. However, I was still disappointed with what was sacrificed to get there, especially in hindsight, and I completely understand your point that the show shouldn't have ended in a big final battle of good vs evil and I agree. The show that was presented to us in the first season and even the first 2 acts of season 2 didn't effectively build to that.

I would like to hear what you would have wanted the final episodes/act to be about instead. (I'm going to guess the civil war between Zaun and Piltover, but I would definitely be interested to hear your full thoughts)

Quick question: What other issues did you have that we haven't talked about?

I also want to say I would love to read a fanfic centered around the idea of committing to Caitlyn's villain arc. That would be fascinating. Please let me know if you ever decide to post it! I mean this completely genuinely. I would be excited to read it.

(sorry for the quality and text over the photo, but I couldn't find the original moment in the videos while scrubbing through so I had to resort to Google Images haha)

The scene where Caitlyn has a breakdown is one of the many season 2 scenes accidentally shown in the Bridging the Rift behind-the-scenes documentary. Caitlyn's in her enforcer attire (because of her hair it's probably after she takes the role of commander), alone, and you can see her go from collected to crying. So it's not a full scene that's been released (I hope it will be on the season 2 DVD release though!). They started animating it but it ended up on the cutting room floor.

On the topic of Caitlyn, I completely agree with the points you made. they had 2 set paths they could have taken Caitlyn and they didn't fully commit to either one, which hurt her character.

I kind of feel like the writers wrote themselves into a corner with her. They gave her this complex and interesting arc that fundamentally puts her at odds with Vi and yet they still had to/wanted to make them endgame, something they have been very vocal about being the plan since day 1. With that in mind due to the time constraints, they couldn't go all in on her dictator arc and relegated the worst of it to the "Paint the Town Blue" montage (seriously I've rewatched it multiple times and Caitlyn is painted very villainously in it) and had to immediately course correct at the beginning of act 2.

The problem is the fact that they didn't commit enough to it and I think it's partially because they didn't want us to hate Caitlyn, so they didn't show her committing her worst acts and actively went out of their way to show the ways in which she's "better" than the previous sheriff (forbidding the use of the dungeons Vi was in, forcing the stillwater guards to keep meticulous paperwork, having her be vocally against arrests without cause, giving prisoners better meals, etc) which ultimately backfired because this middle ground simply didn't work.

I guess this is where I have to finally talk about Caitlyn and Vi, which I have been avoiding purely because it's such a volatile topic online, but on a personal level I don't think they work with the way they played out after Caitlyn's descent into fascism within the show. There were ways they could have made them work, but the way they went about it brushed most of what happened in season 2 under the rug and they get together almost immediately after Caitlyn's turn.

And I don't hate them. I loved them in season 1 as individual characters and their relationship and I liked the idea the ship initially presented with the two of them being a bridge between the cities. But when they got together in act 3 I was left with the question "Why do these two characters still love each other?" and I think that's my biggest problem. (I completely acknowledge this could be my own views)

Or more accurately, since I think Caitlyn still having feelings for Vi is significantly easier to understand, my main question was "Why does Vi still love Caitlyn other than the fact that once Vi starts loving someone she can't stop?"

Vi falls for Caitlyn in season 1 because Caitlyn chose to fight for her and the undercity. She didn’t have to fight— she had nothing to gain, nothing to lose if she didn't fight like everyone in the undercity— and yet she chose to fight anyway.

Caitlyn was genuine in her desire to help and fight against a system she learned through her connection to Vi has oppressed the people of the undercity. She also sees what Vi believes is the worst of her during the bedroom scene and still reaches for Vi anyway, giving her empathy and grace that has never been afforded to her before.

But then all of that crumbles in season 2. Caitlyn becomes the worst version of herself out of grief and the sudden immense responsibility thrust upon her shoulders and actively becomes the face of the oppression Vi and her people face. Caitlyn no longer wants to fight corruption and actively participates in it. Gone is the empathy and understanding of season 1. Gone is that desire to fight for Vi and the undercity that made her fall in love in the first place.

That idea in and of itself wouldn't be an issue. It's actually very compelling. Vi truly thought Caitlyn was different, but now she's everything Vi initially believed she was. Presenting this conflict and forcing the characters to confront these opposing parts of themselves and grow back together had the potential to lead to a powerful and heart-wrenching storyline.

In the wake of this conflict we're left with the question I initially presented: why does Vi still love Caitlyn other than the fact that once Vi starts loving someone she can't stop? Plus the question: how can these two characters grow back together after all of this?

And the show really doesn't want to acknowledge the first question and it simply speeds by the second.

And I'm not saying this to be harsh. I feel like these questions needed to be answered because they're problems the show presents.

The biggest problem for me is that it felt like the show was tiptoeing around the fact that Caitlyn was a dictator so it didn't have to answer these questions. The biggest example of this is that we weren't given Vi's feelings on Caitlyn’s role as the commander, the checkpoints, the detainments that lack adequate cause, and the brutality and oppression disguised behind a thin veneer of justice.

We only really get insight on her guilt over it all in the montage at the start of episode 5. She feels responsible for what Caitlyn has become because she failed to protect her and for being a part of the start of something that turned into an oppressive occupation of her people.

Even when she's with Caitlyn again and yells at her in act 3 it's about Caitlyn listening to and actively participating in Ambessa's violence. Again it's framed around Ambessa rather than her actions towards Zaun or Vi.

I feel like this is making it seem like I hate them or hated that they got together and I don't want it to seem that way. I wanted to be able to buy into this romance. I adored them after season 1. I was just personally so confused by the lack of exploration on what should be a massive roadblock to their relationship.

And I do genuinely like the scene where they get together in a vacuum (even if I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about sex scenes because I'm very aroace haha). The little nuances that people keep pointing out are incredibly impressive and every time I see that gif of Caitlyn looking at Vi's injury with so much softness and regret I completely buy that Caitlyn loves Vi. In a vacuum, the scene does sell that they care about each other. It's what builds up to it that I have a problem with. (That and the context of the scene. The way Jinx left Vi makes it so it doesn't make sense to me that Vi wouldn't immediately storm off to find her.)

I just genuinely believe they needed to slow down and have them grow back together instead of getting back together immediately after reuniting or at the very least explore their individual feelings on the other while separated. This way they could show Caitlyn earning back Vi's trust or give us more context for their reconciliation. But I also understand they didn't have the time. I think they were between a rock and hard place: rush Caitlyn and Vi together or end the series with them starting to grow back together and get a ton of backlash for promising a ship they didn't end up committing to (they did so many interviews about caitvi after season 1).

Oof. I think I might get murdered for that take. The discourse around Caitlyn and Vi's relationship is very heated and I understand that my views are my own. I'm not going to go on a tirade that people should love or hate this ship. How people feel about it is valid. I'm not in the business of telling people how to feel.

I know you've alluded to your feelings about the relationship, but if you're willing to share your full thoughts I would be willing to listen. If you think I'm way off the mark let me know! I really enjoy this back-and-forth.

I actually think this video is really interesting. Not because I fully agree with it (there are a lot of points in the video I don't agree with and a lot that I do), but because I appreciate its intent.

I also fall in the same boat where I really liked the second season, but I didn't love it like I did the first and I appreciate that this is a video that wants to start a conversation. He wants to talk about why things didn't necessarily work for him, why it didn't seem to have the same impact as the first, and about how he wants to hear why those things might have worked for others.

So much discourse about this season has framed it as either the best thing ever, above any criticism, or the worst thing ever with no redeeming qualities and it's made it very frustrating and demoralizing to try and talk about it online.

I want to talk about how I loved aspects of this show and that I was also let down by certain aspects of the show as well, but anytime I try and talk about criticism it's rarely met with a genuine conversation.

I would love to hear how people interpreted things differently from me, why they felt that way, how it connected with them, because I feel like that's the purpose of stories. It's never going to resonate with anyone the same way and there may have been things I missed.

I also know I haven't always worded what I've wanted to say and my criticisms the way I want to get across what I mean. It has never been my intent to sound like I wasn't open to discussion, different interpretations, or counterpoints. I would like to actually talk more about this season and hear other people's thoughts as well.

[ghostinacardboardbox-oldblog]

The Art of Pleasing Princes Cast Recording live reaction

Spoilers ahead (obviously)

Your Day in Court

Aaaaaaa the harmonies!!! It’s so beautiful!!!

The instrumentals sound so good

The cast has such a wide range and I love it so much

The high notes holy heck. It amazes me that the human voice can sound like that.

The end part!!! Aaaaa

When You’re Small

Gonna be honest this isn’t my fave song in the show but this is a vibe

Again with the instrumentals!! They’re so cool

The acting

“A political tragedy waiting to happen” is delivered so well but also. Rude. Be nice to my blorbo >:(

Definitely have a new soft spot for this one

The Art of Pleasing Princes

He’s here!! Rowan!

Again with the range ahdhahdjajd

The dialogue about the king wanting him dead is gone and I get why but also just the “oh… yknow… *bleh*”

The melody for “and he drinks his liquor from a golden spoon” is one of my favorite individual lines of music in the show

He’s so cool. I know the point is that he’s an asshole but I simply don’t care.

Love Doesn’t Know Time

The smoothest voice ever my goodness

I know that albums cut dialogue a lot but that instrumental felt a big long without it

“Every night I’m not with you I die a little more” ME AND WHO WHEN

I love that the drums almost mimic a heartbeat? A little bit? Maybe I’m reaching.

All of the harmonies in this show are great but I really love these two together

All Angels Have To Fall

Oh fantasy trope of a would-be assassin taking pity on their victim before immediately getting caught, we’re really in it now

To be fair if you’re gonna spend the time singing a whole musical number about it, it only makes sense when you get caught

That Outro is so gorgeous

Blood Oath

LETS GO BLOOD OATH MY BELOVED

This intro is my favoriteeeee

THE BEAT DROP YES YES YES

Rowan going from soaring high notes to pure anger is important to me I love it so much

The instrumental is so groovy

“A revolution darling, or a coup” and “Angel, you should count yourself lucky” are just. Yeah icon behavior.

Okay what instrument even is that in Louis’s verse

YOUR PRETTY HANDS MAY SHY FROM BLOOD BUT MINE ARE NOT SO BLESSED

I love the way that the music stops at the end of that line and then starts up strong as ever

HERES WHERE I HELD MY MOTHER WHEN HIS TEMPER MIXED WITH WINE

Something about “what good is a bastard son of the real bastard never atones” makes me feel things

You can’t really hear the harmony in the recording of the staged reading at the end (at least I can’t) so very pleased about how well made the album is and that I can hear Louis here

Dead Princesses Go To Heaven

Iconic. That’s it that’s the reaction.

The piano is so pretty!!

The back and forth nature of this song is just so fun

I love the line “we could stage the perfect crime: kill the princess, spare the lover”

It All Just Makes Sense

I love the piano part

They have such a powerful voice

It’s so beautiful I can’t put it into words eeeeeee

Is that a key change wait

I have a really bad ear for music and didn’t remember a key change here but okay pop off

Old Friend

Oop the fruits are fighting

SCREAMING ABOUT THIS INSTRUMENTAL

its perfect and I will have it in my head forever

How does Rowan’s actor switch so effortlessly from head voice to chest voice and back again the SKILL

the little sneak peak of If You’re Not Careful

Rowan calling himself the optimist is so funny when you think about the fact that he is constantly on the verge of a breakdown

I love counterpoints!! This show makes such good use of them but I really love this song’s in particular

How did they make the “if you don’t fuck it up” part sound so pretty

Talk About It With You

Gonna be honest I don’t get the metaphor but that’s fine

Me jamming to a song I’ll never truly understand: haha gay

The last chorus 🥺

Rush of Blood to the Head

This is such a great act one finale like this is musical storytelling at its finest

It took me longer than I’d like to admit to understand the “not a second to lose when nobody has died to stage a murder so grisly that no body survived.” Like that’s actually really clever I’m just dumb.

The harmony on “Sir Jason just had a rush of blood to the head” ajdhajdhahdjhfjdjjd THATS SO GOOD

I love that they all get a little solo bit

And then to sing a part of a song that’s significant to their character

I’m not the first person to point out Rowan referencing All Angels Have To Fall but that part sure is something (affectionate)

COUNTERPOINTS

Rowan in any song: I will sing both the lowest part and the highest and also the middle. because I can.

That last part where Rowan doesn’t finish the line because Maya interrupted him is just. *screams*

Allies With Benefits

This is a perfect act two opener. Like this is what the opening of the second act should always look like.

I’m thinking a lot about the top hats. I don’t need to see them to Know About The Hats

The little pause before the chorus is so ajdjahdjsfh

I’m also thinking about Rowan picking up Louis in this song. And then Louis’s little feet kicks.

It’s just so fun

Your Day in Court (Reprise)

I always preferred this reprise to the original

The background vocals during Jason’s verse are so haunting

Rowan: I won’t catch feelings

Rowan: … I caught feelings

I love Maya’s part here because it’s such a simple bit of joy in the middle of the utter mess that is everyone else’s lives

The overlapping part at the end is my favorite part of this song and it sounds SO GOOD on this album

I Don’t Know

Comphet Made Me Unable To Understand Attraction and Now I Feel Incapable of Love: the song

The melody of It All Just Makes Sense showing up when he talks about what Maya said

He sounds so sad :(

Brb crying

No Strings Or Kings Attached

I didn’t really care for this one when I watched the recording but I like it a lot more here

“Queen is no title compared to your wife” 💕

Something about “maybe he’s a poor old man” makes me laugh a little ngl

Allies With Benefits (Reprise)

The fruits are fighting: round two

I love when a happy funny song gets a dark reprise and this is the best example

Louis is spitting facts

The Blood Oath melody PLEASE

that high note at the end kills me every time

Crown of Bones and Lead

Louis’s two solos being a perfect inverse of each other is just gorgeous.

Louis going from “that poor knight” in Allies With Benefits Reprise to “my poor knight” in this song

If You’re Not Careful

The way this song cuts out so suddenly just aaaa

Gets a gasp out of me effortlessly

Heart’s Blood

Alright I’m ready to be hurt again

“I don’t want them, I don’t want anyone but you” 🥺

The little piano melody after “only for you” please

I maintain that “I could settle in your arms” means Rowan wants to be the little spoon but won’t let himself be vulnerable. In this essay I will

AND IT ALL JUST MAKES SENSE

YKNOW

IT ALL JUST MAKES SENSE

I love this bridge so much help me it’s gorgeous

And the Outro is just so soft and

I’m not ready for what happens after this you don’t understand

If I Knew You Then

Jason and Louis knowing each other since they were teenagers but not really getting to know each other until this moment is. Wow.

They’re so cute

Can’t Hold Back the Tide

It’s just starting and I’m already sad

This sounds SO GOOD

Wait background vocals?? WHO WAS THAT

the buildup is fantastic

“It’ll take your life if you’re not careful” :(

Love and Everything

“Just know that you deserve love, love and everything” :)

HERE HE IS

nothing will every capture the first time I saw this part and how shattered I was by Rowan in his WHITE SHIRT

Like it wasn’t fully unexpected for him to show up in the finale but it still hurt me

And he got the best part too

That harmony again

In conclusion: this album is so well-made and so beautiful and this show owns me soul. I’m thinking of it always. I have been given great power today and it’s the power to put Blood Oath on loop. Help.