#but this is sorta making me miss the times when my biggest problems were hooked horrors and gnolls chdvcjdgfjdb

[lixbf]

it is mildly overwhelming how ginormous baldur's gate (the city not the game) is bc like theres people everywhere. you can go into like every house. so many streets you might never even actually walk along. how do i explore every little thing without going absolutely insane.

[bigskydreaming]

So I’m writing a short story in my Changelings ‘verse for a galaxy brain commission that was simply “Boyd gets a boyfriend.” Nothing wrong there. But it does mean I feel like I finally gotta nail down the full intricacies of Boyd’s magic, which is unnecessarily....extra, due to the existence of the Curse of the Specialist Snowflake that afflicts me. 

Like, I couldn’t just give him one physical change and one magic like most other Changelings, nooooooo, he’s gotta be the Zodiac Kid and have twelve completely different changes and magics, one for each sign and he changes throughout the year in accordance to the changing of the signs. Why’d I do it that way? Cuz I gotta, obviously. Hahahaha, shut up, me.

I mean, there was a point to it originally, like, his sister Alicia’s Change and magic is that she’s surrounded by ghostly versions of a bunch of her alternate universe selves at any given moment, and she can communicate with them and call upon their skills and is sometimes called Sibyl around town, so like, the common thread/theme of her and Boyd’s magic is like, an infinity of self, but also, by “there was a point to it originally” I also just mean I couldn’t settle on and pick what I wanted Boyd’s magic to be so I was like here’s a fun thing I could do, make up a reason for him to have even MORE options.

.....I feel like, potentially, this self-created problem I’m having could have been avoided somehow, but gosh, fuck if I can see how.

So most of Boyd’s magic is hammered down....

In his Sagittarius phase, he’s physically a centaur whose lower half looks like a night sky studded through with starfields and moving constellations, and his magic from November 23rd to December 21st is uncanny intuition, a kind of off-the-top-of-his-head divination. He just instinctively knows the answers to questions when he’s in his Sagittarius phase, the more specific the question the more accurate his answer. He doesn’t have context, he doesn’t KNOW how he knows the things that he knows, he just knows them. 

You ask him if you’ll meet someone who could very plausibly be the love of your life within the next week, and if he says yes, its absolutely, one hundred percent true and accurate.....but if you ask him then how can I find them, he might say well first thing you gotta do is get out of my face and stop bugging me, and then walk down the street and turn left.....and that too, would be absolutely true and accurately point you in the direction that answers your question but like, that’s all he’s got and you’re missing a few steps at that point. So. Its not an exact science or anything. 

There’s definitely tricks to maximizing the intel you get out of him when he feels like being hit up for intel and doesn’t just string you along to be a total troll. Which he is. Hence why he also spends most of December filling in all of Alicia’s large stockpile of crosswords and sudokus, as he just instinctively and whimsically knows what to fill in even if he doesn’t actually have a clue WHY the Mesozoic Era is the answer to 49 Down. Alicia maintains this is cheating. He maintains he doesn’t care, and answers 64 across with “Johannesburg.” Fuck if he knows why.

In his Capricorn phase, he sublets his apartment in Bordertown and takes a month lease on a place underwater in Sub Francisco.....as for this period he’s more of a classical merman, but also if a classical merman has goat horns. But like, whose to say they don’t? Have you ever met one? Thought so. His magic during this period is horns of plenty.....he touches something to one of his horns, and comes away holding two of that item. So it basically only works on things that can be hand-held, but other than that it could be food, physical items, medicine, etc.

In his Aquarius phase, he’s physically the same as he was when a normal mainstream human....except that his skin has a faintly translucent quality as if that of water, with faint stars spiraling in distant patterns in the depths of his slightly watery form. He’s not invisible or actually translucent, like you can’t see through him or even see his organs or anything....rather, its more like most of the time he just looks like normal, human Boyd, albeit wearing a lot of glitter for some reason....but then he turns and catches the light just so, and for a moment you can see how the light is shining THROUGH him similar to the way it shines through the surface of a body of water. His magic in this phase is based on Ganymede, the cup-bearer of the gods.....water he touches becomes imbued with healing properties. 

Like, he unscrews an ordinary bottle of Evian and reaches in with the tip of his finger, and whammo, you’ve got a healing potion whose magic will last until the last of the water is gone, even if its not used until after his Aquarius phase. Once he’s imbued a source of water with his magic, its a healing potion from then on out, which makes his shop a useful place to find healing magic year-round.....or at least until he runs out. You come into his shop even in late July, if he’s still got some healing potions lying around they’re as good as ever....but if he’s already out of stock, you’re out of luck until next year’s Aquarius phase rolls around, and you gotta go look elsewhere on Mercy Row for a healer in the meanwhile.

In his Pisces phase, he goes back to his Sub Francisco apartment as his physical Change here is that of a centaur-triton....kinda the classic ithyocentaur, but also he’s got kinda webbed-like wings spanning from his back.....its a whole thing. But a good look. His magic in this phase is ‘the perfect pair’....he cups his hands and forms a magical, elemental construct in the shape of a koi fish that’ll swim off in the direction of the perfect complement to something or someone. Like a personal, magical compass guiding him or whomever he makes one for to like, the magnetic north that exists somewhere as the perfect counterpart to an already present south pole. Whatever, this makes no sense and is super confusing, I get that. But it makes perfect sense and is not confusing in my head. Still just working on translating from point Head to point Paper without the concept getting lost in the translation.

In his Aries phase, he’s his ‘normal’ mainstream-appearing base form....but also he’s got golden wings and ram horns. And his magic is that he breathes fire. But its magic fire, and it doesn’t burn things it touches, it turns them to gold. Its a whole Golden Fleece thing mixed with a King Midas thing.

In his Taurus phase.....idk yet. I mean, bull horns seems a pretty obvious go-to motif, but haven’t decided for his magic yet. Mostly because @sunwukxng is a Taurus and he takes things like this juuuuuuuust personal enough that I know if I don’t come up with something good here he’ll decide its a mortal insult towards all Tauri and thus him as well, and he’ll declare a blood feud against me that shall last five hundred years. And he’s already got like, six of those in progress, so....trying to avoid racking up anymore.

In his Gemini phase, he splits into two selves, his physical self and astral self, so he’s basically followed everywhere by both his shadow and a spirit version of himself he can astral project elsewhere. And when his astral self goes through something, kinda like how there’s that idea that when a ghost passes through someone they feel a chill or as if they almost left their body for a second.....his astral self can kinda like....yoink other peoples’ astral selves out of their physical forms temporarily. Yoink is of course the highly technical, scientific term for the phenomenon. Obviously.

In his Cancer phase.....idk yet. Look, its hard to be classy and deep concept-y about crabs, okay? I’m sorry Cancers, but even in the original myths about the constellation the gods were like yeah, this crab constellation was a mistake, we just felt bad about Artemis kicking that one all the way up into the heavens after it pinched Orion, the only himbo she ever almost made a boytoy out of. A lot of other Zodiacs featured animals that had the common perception of being viewed as pushing the sun across the sky, so there’s maybe something there in that direction....idk yet.

In his Leo phase, Boyd mostly appears as his ‘normal’ base mainstream-human looking self....except he’s big in a way that is not exactly Giant Big (and there are a good couple dozen giant-sized Changelings living in Bordertown, so like, he isn’t officially anywhere near that) but he is possessed of a height and size that are nevertheless best described as Ridiculous. Like he’s bigger than the Strange Angel, but not as big as Teddy the Sun-snake. That means nothing to anyone but me. Whatever. Moving on. Anyway, in his Leo phase he also has a fiery red mane kinda....that’s threaded through with silver stars in the Leo constellation shape. His magic in this phase is his ‘roar of command’....basically, he can imbue anything he says with the force of his will, and thus like.....make inanimate objects do what he tells them. He’s like “Open sesame” and a locked door is like you got it, boss.

In his Virgo phase.....I am not entirely sure what he looks like yet. I’m pretty sure its mostly his mainstream-looking ‘base self’ but like.....with an unnatural charisma, but also something a little less generic than that. Needs a specific hook still, beyond just “I’m ridick pretty.” Like, he’s Sinqua Walls. He’s always ridick pretty. Its a thing. But his magic in this phase is like.....an aura of inspiration. He just sorta puts out a vibe that inspires people around him in various ways that are unique to the individual. 

He’s also way shorter than he used to be even before his Change hit, or like, shorter than he is in any of his other phases. Like, we’re talking five and a half feet max. Is there any reason for this whatsoever beyond me being amused at the juxtaposition of him going from his Biggest and Most Ridiculous Phase immediately to his Smallest and Most Ridiculous Phase? No. No there is not. Fear the deep profundity of my creative process, for it is deep and it tis profound.

In his Libra phase....I’m not sure yet what his physical change is, but I do know his skin has a scaled texture, and I know those aren’t the scales normally associated with Libra but there’s a point to it, its just......missing some ingredients still to totally make sense. But he also tends to wear a blindfold a lot of the time during his Libra phase because I know his magic here has to do with viewing things in terms of overlapping possibilities and potentialities, like, he looks at things and sees not just the way they ARE but also a whole bunch of different ways they COULD be, and his magic enables him to kinda tweak things from the way they are more towards one of those other possibilities, in a sense that’s all about ‘balancing’ things.

However, the sensory stimuli of all those potentialities 24/7 is honestly overwhelming and gives him serious migraines, so he mostly tries to rest his eyes behind some kind of blindfold most of the time and just take it off to focus on specific things in order to utilize his magic, and only a little at a time. This is probably the most technically ‘powerful’ of his magics in terms of both versatility and scope, but it takes a toll and he really tries to pace himself during his Libra phase or it just gets to be too much, really fast.

And then lastly, in his Scorpio phase, he’s got a whole scorpion tail and barbed stingers along the outsides of his arms.....but rather than lean into the whole ‘eww Scorpios are duplicitous and manipulative’ and also ‘eww scorpions,’ his magic here calls back to how scorpions are actually protective guardians in a lot of mythologies and folklore, and there’s also plenty of Zodiac lore about the idea of the Scorpio sign being all about uncovering truths at any cost, etc. So his magic here is another ‘liquid/mutable’ type and takes the form of venom from his stingers that’s almost like drops of amber.....and that have various properties aimed at uncovering truths and exposing lies and falsehoods. Like, elixirs made during his Scorpio phase are another highly sought ware at his shop, because depending on the venom concentration he places in each, they have different properties. Like, he’s got vials where just a drop placed in your drink or on your food will reveal if its been drugged or poisoned, or vials of elixirs that basically act as magical truth serum.....and then other vials where like, you splash a little of it on something you suspect to be an illusion or a magical disguise of some kind, and it’ll dispel the false magic and reveal what’s truly there. 

“What happens if like, I splash it in the face of someone I think is wearing an illusion disguise and it turns out they’re not and that’s really just what they look like?” A customer asks.

Boyd shrugs. “Then they’ll just be wet. And probably a little pissed, I imagine. That’ll be $49.95 please.”

“I thought you said it was $29.95!”

“That was before the Asked Stupid Questions tax was applied,” Boyd smiles placidly. “Will that be cash or credit?”

 Okay. So. Typing that all out cleared up some of that for me but not quite as much as I was hoping as Cancer and Taurus apparently still persist in Vexing me.

Hmmmm.

[quickeningheart]

Twelve

   There was a drawn-out silence as the mice and Chex sized each other up. After a moment, Throttle cleared his throat, stepping forward. "I'm sure you must be mistaken, Citizen," he began, attempting nonchalance. "We're just three normal bros, getting our bikes looked over by—"

   "Oh, give it up," Chex snorted, crossing her arms. "I'm not an idiot. There's nothing wrong with my eyeballs. And those helmets don't render you invisible, so you might as well take 'em off. I don't know who you think you're fooling. If alien mice doesn't explain all the fur, then my next guess is the evolutionary Missing Link. Or very short Yeti."

   Alley stifled a laugh, and Throttle shot her an annoyed glance as he slowly pulled his helmet off. Vinnie and Modo followed his lead.

   "Well, damn," Chris said softly, eyes wide.

   "Told you," Chex replied, looking smug. She practically vibrated where she stood, she was so excited. "Man, I can't believe they've been here all this time. The club's gonna flip when I tell 'em I got to see them face to face!"

   "Club?" Throttle repeated, frowning.

   "It's some little forum she joined," Chris explained. "For people who think they've been abducted by aliens or some weird shit like that."

   "Shut it, butt-head." Chex delivered another punch to his arm. "That's not what the club's about." She turned back to the mice. "You've saved a lot of people in Chicago since you've been here, right? Well, some of those people started an online forum to socialize and share experiences. Hypothesize about why you're even here. Stuff like that."

   "And … you're one of those people," Throttle guessed.

   "Sure am." Chex nodded at Modo. "Big Gray there saved my life awhile back."

   The mouse straightened, startled by the sudden attention. "The name's Modo," he corrected. "Modo Maverick."

   "Maverick, huh?" Her smile widened. "I like that. Totally a hero's name."

   Modo beamed as Vinnie whistled and nudged him in the side.

   "So what happened to you?" Charley wanted to know.

   "There was some big skirmish downtown about three years ago. Felt like an earthquake or something. Total chaos, people running around, screaming like a buncha lunatics… And I remember there was this really weird whining. Sounded kinda like a drill, but deeper and a lot louder."

   "Hey, I remember that!" Vinnie cut in. "Wasn't that when Limburger decided he was gonna dig under the big shopping center?"

   "Yeah, he was lookin' for something. Anybody ever figure out what that was?" Modo asked, scratching his head.

   "Who cares? He goes out an' makes with the boom-boom, we go in an' stop 'im. That's all we need ta know." Vinnie punched his fist into his palm with a wicked grin.

   Chex huffed. "Yeah, well, I happened to be in that shopping center when it was all goin' down. Everything was crumbling around me and all the exits were getting blocked off. Some guy bowled me over, and I got my leg pinned. I was trying to pull free, and then these loud cracks went off right over my head. Sounded like a buncha gunshots. I thought someone had opened fire on top of everything else. So I looked up, and the freakin' wall's about to topple over." She shuddered, rubbing her arms. "I won't ever forget what that felt like, watching that slab of concrete falling in slo-mo right on top of me."

   "So what then?" Alley asked, wide-eyed.

   "Well, I sure wasn't goin' anywhere. When that asshole shoved me, I fell into the rubble and knocked something loose. Big chunk fell right on top of me. My leg was good and pinned. Hurt like hell, too. I just sorta buried my head in my arms and prayed I'd die quick, and I wouldn't end up buried alive or be laying there in agony for days wondering if anyone'd find me. I might've screamed, I guess. I don't really remember." Chex shrugged. "Someone heard something, though, 'cause when I figured out I still wasn't dead, that's when I looked back up and saw this huge gray … person standing over me, hefting that slab of concrete like a piece of paper. Just tossed it aside with his bare hands! And then he grabbed the big chunks pinning me down and tossed them, too. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and there was all this fur and metal and big ears … and then he started talking to me, asking if I was okay. And all I remember thinking is he was the biggest damned hamster I'd ever seen."

   "Aw, c'mon!" Vinnie protested, tossing his hands in the air. "They never get it right! Why don't they ever get it right?"

   "We're mice, ma'am. Just for future reference," Modo rumbled, mouth quirking.

   "Well, sure, I can see that now," Chex snorted. "Waddaya want? I'd just lived through my first near-death experience. Sorry if I was a little delirious."

   "Least you didn't call him a rat," Alley teased. "They hate that."

   Modo rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Seems I recall findin' a little girl pinned down, 'bout to be squashed flat. Your leg was busted up pretty bad, wasn't it? I pulled ya loose an' dropped you off at the ambulance outside. You were bleedin' out pretty heavily."

   "Yeah." Chex nodded. "The femur bone was snapped in two places. And my tibia was broken so badly the bone ripped clean through the skin. Scary shit. I ended up in surgery and the hospital for two months, a full-leg cast another two months after that. Took a lot of therapy just so I could walk again, too." She pulled up her ripped legging, showing off a long, jagged scar that started at the middle of her calf and ran up under the material covering her upper leg. "Ends at the thigh. Pretty cool, huh?" she said proudly.

   Modo whistled. "Impressive battle scar. You doin' okay now?"

   "Sure. Leg still aches when the weather changes, and I won't ever win any marathons or anything, but I can walk, and even more importantly, I'm not a greasy smear on the pavement." Chex approached him, gray eyes searching his face as she took his metal hand into both of hers. He blinked down at her, nonplussed; it wasn't often a human willingly touched him, after all. "Like I said, I was really out of it back then, and I don't even remember if I thanked you," she told him sincerely. "So I'm saying it now. Thank you, Modo Maverick. You're a really good person. And I'm glad I can tell you that face to face."

   Modo squirmed, ignoring the catcalls and whistles from his comrades as he smiled awkwardly down at her, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, it wasn't anything, ma'am," he mumbled, flustered. "Just doin' my job and all that."

   Chex seemed to recall their audience then, quickly dropping his hand and stepping back, hooking her thumbs through the belt loops of her checkered skirt with a self-conscious shrug. "Yeah, well, just sayin'. Thanks," she mumbled, ducking her head. Her face was nearly as red as her hair. After a moment, she straightened up, affecting her usual aloof attitude. "Anyway. That's how I found out about alien mice. I had to know who you were, so while I was recovering, I started searching around on the net, looking for … I dunno, info on mutant rodents in the subways or something." She smirked at Vinnie's snort of disgust. "That's when I found the forum, and figured out there were others who'd been saved by giant talking, bike-riding mice, and there it is."

   "And there it is. Gotta love social media. So much for covert operations."

   All eyes turned to the black-clad figure coasting into the garage on a sleek black racer, taking in the scene from behind the visor of a wing-eared helmet.

   Chris straightened up, surprised. "Hey! You're—"

   "Yep. I'm," Stoker grunted, pulling the helmet off to meet his gaze with shrewd eyes. "And you're the whelp who stuck with our Alley Cat the other night. Thanks for that, kid."

   "The name is Chris. Christopher Archer. And my sister is Constance."

   "Chex. Call me Constance and I'll be forced to cut your tongue out," the redhead mumbled. "Cool bike, by the way. That's like … super stealth bike or something. I didn't even hear the engine."

   "That's 'cause I turned it off," Stoker said with a chuckle, dismounting and rolling the bike over to Charley. "She needs a checkup, if you get the chance. Maybe some oil. Had a bit of a bumpy ride gettin' back."

   "Run into some problems?" Charley asked.

   "Just a few random goons out lookin' for trouble. Nothin' I couldn't handle. But they did get in a few shots to my ride here. Think one of 'em might've taken out the suspension."

   "Poor baby. I'll have you fixed right up," Charley crooned, petting the dusty crankshaft affectionately. And damned if the bike didn't rumble right back.

   Alley blinked. "Did … did that thing just purr at you?"

   Charley laughed. "I did tell you Martian bikes are equipped with AI, right?"

   "Uh, yeah, I seem to recall something about that. I just didn't—They actually respond to you? Like, they can understand what you say?" Alley looked the bike over with new appreciation.

   "That is the general definition of artificial intelligence," Charley deadpanned.

   "Wow. Real AI. How cool is that?" Chex crouched in front of Modo's bike. "Hey, if you can understand me, honk or something."

   There was a moment of silence. Then a short, sharp beep sounded, startling Chex into falling back onto her rear. She gaped for a second, then laughed. "That is wicked! Where can I get one?"

   "Forget it, Short Stack. Dad'll never let you get a motorcycle," Chris scoffed.

   "I'm eighteen. He doesn't really have a say in the matter," she tossed back, hopping to her feet. "Hey, will you give me a ride?" She grinned up at Modo, who sputtered for a response.

   "Chex, we're here to see Alley, remember?" Chris sighed.

   "Oh, well, she could come along."

   Alley's eyes widened. "Uhhh … no thanks. I've seen how these guys drive those things around. I'm rather attached to my life. I'd like to keep it, if it's all the same to you."

   Chex laughed. "Wuss."

   "If by 'wuss' you mean 'possessing a healthy dose of self-preservation', then yes. I am a huge wuss," she sniffed, smoothing down her skirt.

   Beside her, Stoker chuckled low in his throat. "We'll have to work on that," he murmured, smirking down at her.

   She pulled a face at him. "Where the hell have you been skulking around, anyway?"

   "You miss me? I'm touched." He flashed a cheeky grin.

   "Yeah, sure." She waved him off. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

   "Aw, honey, go easy on an old mouse's ego."

   "Sir, your ego is indomitable. I'm sure nothing I say will make a dent," she huffed, a smile twitching around her lips despite her best efforts to remain stern.

   He noticed, leaning in with a sly smile, eyes lidded as he prepared to turn up the charm.

   Only Alley suddenly wasn't there anymore, having been pulled out from under his nose by Chris's grip on her arm. He straightened, glaring at the intruder. "You mind? We were having a private conversation."

   Chris winced at the venom in his tone but, as before, refused to back down. He turned to Alley. "Listen, Chex and I have to be back at the dorms in a few hours. We promised our parents we'd have dinner with them tonight."

   "You promised them," Chex corrected.

   He ignored her. "Anyway, if you wanted to go shopping for a new phone, maybe have something to eat and do a little sightseeing downtown, we'd probably better leave soon."

   "Oh. Sure, lemme go grab my purse. It's upstairs," Alley replied, shooting him a grateful smile as she turned to flee the garage.

   "Cock-blocked!" Vinnie sang under his breath as soon as she left, earning himself a whack across the head by Stoker's palm and muffled sniggers from Modo and Throttle.

   "And speaking of phones…" Stoker's tail whipped around and plucked the smartphone Chex had been using to covertly snap pictures neatly from her fingers. "Ah-ah. None of that now," he scolded, not unkindly, as he browsed the files.

   "Hey!" she yelped. "Give that back! What're you doing?"

   "Just a little damage control." He navigated the touch screen with ease before tossing the gadget back to her.

   She hastily checked it over, jaw dropping. "You deleted them! You deleted everything! All of my info … my videos! Do you know how hard it was to get some of this stuff?" she lamented.

   "I'm sorry for your loss," Stoker deadpanned, not looking sorry in the least. "No offense, Red, but I don't fancy having our ruggedly handsome mugs plastered all over the internet. Makes it real hard to work when you've got people out hunting you down for a celebrity snapshot. Kindly refrain from future endeavors."

   Chex pouted. "What's wrong with wanting to show Chicago that we've got our very own superheroes protecting us from the mafia? The cops sure as hell don't do anything about it."

   "Oh. Uh…" Alley offered a sheepish grin as she descended the stairs, having overheard the conversation. "Yeah, about that mafia story I fed you…"

   Chex's eyes widened. "No way. Is Limburger an alien, too?"

   "Something like that."

   "Awesome!"

   "Not really, no." Alley shot her a funny look. "He's trying to strip-mine the planet, starting with Chicago. There's nothing remotely awesome about it."

   "Is that why he wants the school?" Chris asked. "He wants to rip it apart?"

   "Likely. It's sitting on a choice piece of property," Stoker grunted. "Lots of resources to ship off to Plutark."

   "Is that his planet? And that's why you guys are here. To stop him from doing it?"

   "Yep."

   "But why?" Chex asked. "I mean, this isn't your home. Why are you risking your necks for a world that doesn't even know you exist?"

   "Because the Plutarkians are a disease that need to be wiped out," Modo growled, eye glowing. "They started with our planet Mars, and nearly demolished our entire race. Earth is next on the list, and unlike Mars, it doesn't have the kind of defenses needed to beat 'em off."

   "And once they're through with this dirt ball, they'll move on to the next," Throttle added. "Just like a huge, smelly swarm of … waddaya call 'em? Locusts?"

   "We do have nuclear weapons," Chris said doubtfully.

   "Hah! The stinkfish live off that sorta thing!" Vinnie scoffed. "Toxic waste and radiation and destruction … they eat it for breakfast. A couple of nuclear bombs wouldn't even slow 'em down."

   "Yeah, all you'd be doin' is helpin' em rip up the planet that much faster," Modo added, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

   The twins exchanged glances. "The government—" Chris started.

   "Is next to useless," Stoker cut him off with a snort. "They can't do anything we're not already doin'. Besides, it'll just come back to nuclear warfare and vaporizing their own planet in a useless attempt to get rid of the Plutarkians."

   "Yeah, and then they'll probably turn around an' use the same methods on us," Vinnie grumbled.

   "That's true," Charley agreed with a sigh. "I don't think Earth is ready for the knowledge that 'little green men' actually exist." She chuckled when Vinnie huffed, tweaking his ear. "Don't worry, you're all much cuter than E.T.," she teased.

   "And about time you admitted it, Babe," he replied, crossing his arms smugly. But he was blushing under his fur.

   "What I don't get," Alley cut in, "is how they don't already know. I mean, people are talking about you guys online, and Chex probably isn't the only one who's tried to take pictures and videos. Right?"

   "Oh, sure." Chex shrugged. "Media gets posted on various sites all the time. The problem is, it never stays posted. It's like the moment new footage appears, the site goes poof for a few minutes. When it comes back online, all the footage is gone. Happens every time. The Mouseketeers think—"

   "The Mouseketeers?"

   Chex laughed at the disgust written across four furry faces. "It's what the forum folk call themselves. Don't look at me like that, I didn't come up with it!"

   "Well, come up with somethin' else," Vinnie grumbled. "That name's just embarrassing!"

   "Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that." Chex rolled her eyes. "Anyway, the general theory is the government is responsible for getting rid of the evidence. Keep the knowledge of alien warfare happening right under our noses from getting out to the general populace. Hold off the world-wide panic it'd cause. In the meantime, hope the two species end up wiping themselves out nice and neat, and save taxpayer dollars by not having to send in our own military to finish the job."

   "And they're not at all worried that two alien species with superior technology battling over our planet might end up, I dunno, completely obliterating it instead?" Alley asked skeptically.

   "Hey, I did say it was a theory."

   "And that's all it is," Stoker put in, shaking his head with amusement. "Sorry to burst your conspiracy bubble, but none of Earth's governments are responsible for keepin' this invasion under wraps. Mars has been monitoring your satellites for decades. Any evidence of alien species that pops up is immediately eliminated, especially Martian and Plutarkian. Can't risk having our own civilization exposed trying to save yours, after all."

   "You can't possibly silence everyone who finds out about you," Chris argued. "What about the probes we send up?"

   "Bah. Inferior Earthen technology. Easily compromised," the mouse snorted. "As for the rest, well…" He tapped one of his antenna. "These ain't here just for show, ya know. We have ways."

   "What do you mean?"

   "Memory wipes," Throttle grunted, mouth twisting with distaste.

   "You can do that?" Charley asked, startled. Clearly, this was news to her.

   "Not all of us," Vinnie told her. "Only a few 'specially powerful empaths are trained for that sorta thing. Ain't easy, and fiddlin' around with another person's brain is pretty frowned upon. I mean, one wrong move an' you've got a drooling vegetable on your hands."

   "Luckily we have little cause to employ such techniques," Stoker added, expression grim. "But there's been a time or two when the wrong person discovered us, and we've been forced to go in for a little … mental rewiring."

   "And by 'we', do you actually mean you?" Alley asked. Stoker didn't answer. But his silence spoke volumes. She frowned. "Have you ever … made a wrong move?"

   "No," he replied firmly. "But my predecessor did, with another empathic race from the Quantrum Sector."

   "The what now?"

   "Another galaxy. You wouldn't have heard of it. That was a bad job. Pretty much the guidelines of what not to do when attempting a mind-wipe. Not only scrambled the poor bastard on the receiving end, but his own brain, as well. That's when I was pulled in to take over his position by the army. This was back before the Freedom Fighters, of course. When I was just a young punk, barely older'n Rimfire." He nodded at Modo.

   "You never told us this before, Stoke," Vinnie said, sounding awed.

   "Ain't somethin' I like to talk about," he replied. "Not a part of my life I'm particularly proud of. For the greater good or not, there's no honor in wipin' another person's mind. Especially when you're never told why you're doin' it in the first place. Toward the end, before I defected, I had my suspicions that the government was gettin' a little corrupt. They were sendin' us in more 'n more often to 'take care of things'. I suspect it was to keep control over an increasingly disgruntled population, when Plutark stepped in an' started buyin' up Martian property."

   "And that's why you formed the Freedom Fighters," Throttle finished.

   "Yep. That about sums it up. Somebody had to protect what was left of our people. We're all they had left."

  "Your own government sold you out?" Alley asked softly.

   "Money is power, honey. Even on other planets. Corruption is a universal problem." Stoker glanced at Chex with a raised eyebrow. "And you might consider tellin' your online buddies to start bein' a little more careful what they slap up on their sites. I may not be one of the army's guard dogs anymore, but that don't mean I've forgotten what to do. And there're still more guard dogs who ain't as nice as me, either. You annoy the wrong people or become a big enough threat, you just might find yourselves on the wrong end of Martian antenna."

   Chex gulped, face paling under her makeup. Even Chris looked a little green around the gills.

   "Great. Well, now that you've finished terrifying my friends, I think it's time for us to go," Alley muttered, starting toward the Caprice.

   "Hold up, there!" Charley snagged her by the back of the shirt as she passed, bringing her up short. "Just so you know, you 'n me are gonna have a talk when you get back."

   "What'd I do?"

   Charley shot her a look. "Guess."

   Alley's brow furrowed. "Oh, what, you're pissed 'cause I was worried about you? That's gratitude."

   "Do you honestly believe that's why I'm upset?"

   The cousins stubbornly faced each other down, before Alley conceded defeat, shoulders slumping. "Okay, okay," she grumbled. "You can bust my chops when I get back. Just lemme get these two out of your hair first." She stomped to the twins, who were now waiting in the car.

   "What was that all about?" Chris asked as she opened the passenger door and slid in.

   "Somebody in trouble?" Chex teased from the back seat.

   Alley waved off their questions. "Don't worry about it. Right before you arrived, we were having a … family discussion of sorts. I might've said a few things I shouldn't have in front of a few people I shouldn't have… She's a little steamed about it."

   Chex hummed. "Wanna hide out in the dorms for awhile until the storm blows over?" she offered. "I could probably stuff you under the bed."

   Alley laughed. "Thanks, but I'll take my licks like a good little soldier, and pray Charley doesn't decide to send me packing back to Florida."

   They drove in silence for a few minutes, before Chex leaned forward, draping her gloved arms over the back of the bench seat. "Hey, you think that Stoker guy was serious about the whole, you know, mind-wipe thing?" she asked.

   Alley shrugged, poking through the cassette tapes Chris had stashed in a worn shoebox on the seat between them. "Dunno why he'd lie about it. He's a trained soldier, and from what I've heard, he's got some mad skills on the battlefield. Like, a four-star general or something. The mice do have some sort of telepathic ability. I guess some could be strong enough to erase memories." She chose a cassette and shoved it into the player; Queen's These are the Days of Our Lives blasted over the speakers. "Oh, I love this song!" She began to sing along.

   Chex shifted impatiently. "But, like, do you think he'd really do it?" she pressed.

   "I dunno. Maybe. Why do you want to know?"

   Chris snorted. "She probably wants to go tell all her little forum buddies where they can find them. She never could keep a secret."

   "Shut up," Chex grumbled, slumping back in her seat.

   Frowning, Alley turned around in her seat. "Look, I can't say what Stoker may or may not do, but I can tell you that all four of those guys are way protective of Charley. They consider her one of theirs, and they'll fight tooth and nail to defend their own. If you go blabbing their location around and end up putting her or her garage in danger, getting mind-wiped will be the least of your worries. You've already seen Modo in action. Do you really wanna risk pissing off a bunch of trained rebel soldiers who can heft concrete walls with their bare hands?"

   Chex didn't have much to say on the matter after that.

   Alley could only hope she wouldn't have much to say on the matter at any future time, either.

Next

[dreadhaus-literature]

{A/N} ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

I~ have been playing (and just finished!) Batman: The Telltale Series, and I want to talk about it, because I just have...a lot of feelings about it.

So uhm, be mindful below the cut. (♡´艸`)

First things first, I will admit I wasn’t expecting to...get into this game, lol. I decided to play it on a whim, just to sorta...I consider myself “toes wet” with DC (I know Bunny tends to give me more credit than that because she’s a peach ♥) but I figure, this’ll get me more ankle deep, even if it’s not like “canon” or anything--which, comic canon is weird and fluid so whatever, I’m not being real strict with the Telltale TL being canon.

Anyway.

So I figured I’d just play it and see some babies and enjoy that...but I got into it. Being able to be in the driver’s seat, making decisions as Bruce and really simulating his life endeared me to him and his universe more than I anticipated.

It’s one thing, to read comics and see writer’s words coming out of character’s mouths and being all, “Yeah, okay,” but when you’re making the decisions, it personalizes it. And unsurprisingly, I played a compassionate, empathetic, emotional Bruce Wayne, not some stunted machismo machine in a bat cowl like some writers and fanboys want him to be.

So I guess it’s safe to say this made me love him more.

I noticed something, playing--and it’s true Telltale style, like the Walking Dead games, where you have a wheel of sentence choices that determine your path--and it’s that Bruce runs into the same sort of problem that I see with Steve Rogers. I don’t see it quite as much with Tony, but Steve has a problem with writers wanting him to be some white bread, bulging bicep “JUSTICE FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER” machine when there’s so much more to him than that. It’s like uh, like the recent Civil War re-read that I did with Monica, that line where he’s criticizing his soldiers by calling them “Nancies” and basically comparing them to women--but Steve Rogers, MY Steve Rogers, guzzles his respect women juice because he respected and loved the absolute fuck out of Peggy Carter. But it’s writers who put that shit in his mouth and make him say and do things that then make me side-eye the fuck out of him.

And I’m realizing Bruce has the same issue, and I realized that playing this game, and seeing how he talks to people and really playing up the fact that he does have a heart and he does have feelings--and don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with emotionally stunted characters, I think it’s cute, but I’m on about those buttplugs who like, don’t write Bruce treating his sons like his sons because it makes him “soft” or when they make him treat Alfred or Clark/his teammates like shit or when he openly beats his own kids, like??? Fuck off, that’s not what I’m interested in and to be honest I don’t think that’s who Bruce Wayne is supposed to be.

So playing this game and going the compassionate route, going the route of making Bruce appreciate Alfred and Lucius and Harvey, people who support him and are his friends/family, it reminds me when we were reading the War on Jokes arc and seeing Bruce initiate the “I love you’s”. That shit about melted my heart and to be honest was right up there with his penchant for adopting kids that really made me notice him. To make me give a shit about him and not just because he’s Batman.

Which, by the way, I fucking love that he says that? Like Tony says it, “I am Iron Man,” and it’s cute they share a catchphrase or whatever, but I love that Bruce says it with a straight face and at the most ridiculous times.

I won’t go into like, a full rundown of the game or anything--to be honest I wasn’t going to talk about the game at all, but I surprised myself being so into it and full of feelings about it that I just wanted to talk about it somewhere.

I think I’ll start with the character designs, because it was real hit or miss.

Hit:

Harvey Dent*

John Doe/Joker

Bruce Wayne (...eventually)

Miss:

Selina Kyle

Alfred Pennyworth

Oswald Cobblepot

Now, take my criticisms and compliments with a grain of salt, please~ My tastes are eclectic at best and I like things that are different/out of the norm, so. And it has nothing to do with the character, this is strictly aesthetic.

Let’s start with the hits--Harvey.

I’m sure my love for him here is unsurprising~ But lemme talk about it anyway.

He was a big beefy boi in this game and I was 👀 from freaking jump. I went into this game blind so I had no idea he was even in it, but he was noticeably the biggest boy (okay well almost, there was this one bigger Frankensteinesque dude I didn’t recognize and whose name WAS NEVER GIVEN TO ME) on the block--haha lemme give him Brenn’s title as the Buffest Boy on the Block. He filled his suits OUT and I was here for it. I loved his facial structure, which surprised me considering I didn’t think I’d be keen on Telltale’s art styles.

As for the * up there on his name, I want to say that I went the route of saving Harvey from himself, so I didn’t let him turn fully into Two Face (this go ‘round at least) but I did see that ridiculous mask they gave him and that’s a huge thumbs down for me.

Lemme see them beautiful scars pls.

He looks delectable as Two Face so the only negative is that mask they tried to give him for whatever reason. 0/10, would take that off immediately.

Next up is Mr. John Doe, aka Joker.

And I have to say, like Bruce, he really surprised me--one, because I didn’t know he was in this either (IDK SHIT ABOUT DC STUFF, SO) but two, because I wasn’t prepared to really pay him all that much attention. Harvey’s a given; he, like Arthur, I had a soft spot for anyway because of Kayla’s rampant hatred (thus, giving me a need to love them as unloved characters) but Joker? Everyone loves Joker, so I was tipping toward, like, patting him on the head and sending him on his way kinda thing.

Nope. No. He showed up and I was like ???? WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE ALL OF THE SUDDEN.

Seriously, this art style fucked me up when it came to him. He’s stupid adorable in this game.

I MEAN WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO KISS THIS FACE?????

I’m fucking annoyed by it, I think because I was prepared to just breeze by him, but like I don’t wanna slap him or anything but it gives me the same cute aggression small humans and kitties do. I wanna squish his face and just coo over it, that smile is infuriatingly infectious.

Idk why I find him so cute in this particular style but it was like getting punched in the chest, like he showed up and saved me/Bruce and all the sudden I’m like, murder whoever you want just keep...smiling?

And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for his edgy styles, there are some where he’s almost monstrous-looking, grotesque and the like and you know that tickles my fancy but this particular Joker tickled another fancy of mine. He was almost like a puppy, here.

Eager.

So yeah. I guess I have a crush on Joker now.

And last but not least on the Hit list--Bruce Wayne.

And I’ll admit, as I did up here, that this look took me a little while to come to appreciate. Reminds me a lot of how I felt about Peter from ItSV, but I love that look on him now and that’s how I feel about Bruce. This grew on me the more I played, although when I started I thought he looked way too much like Archer.

And it seems I wasn’t the only one.

And while, like with Peter B., this particular incarnation won’t be my favorite Bruce Wayne look, there’s a softness to this particular incarnation that seemed to really suit the way I played him--which might be why I liked it.

There was a nice touch, though, because when he slipped on the cowl, when he became Batman, there was a decided shift not only in his personality but his physicality, too--

Which reminded me of something I’d read where Clark does the same thing.

So yeah, this incarnation took a little to grow on me, and it may not be my favorite, but I did come to at least appreciate it.

Now let’s talk about the Misses, starting with Miss Kyle.

And it’s weird, because as Catwoman she was stunning and there’s this one scene with her eyeliner on fucking point and it was SENDING ME. Good fucking god I was a dumb dyke through the whole scene, I doubt I could remember a word she said.

But there on the left, her hair was like some weird mix of a bob but too long and uneven to be one? And don’t get me started on her baby ponytail; it seemed too...childish? Sloppy? For her.

And something was off about her mouth. Idk if it was Telltale’s style or if the graphics were a little stiff but her mouth bothered me the entire freaking game.

I feel bad about saying Alfred was a miss but again, this is just from an aesthetic point. The man is a saint otherwise and I won’t say a cross word about him.

It’s not even that I dislike this particular look of his, it’s just, I have a favorite look of his and this is so far from it (and most of his normal looks) that sometimes through the game it would take me a half second to remember this is supposed to be Alfred.

It was like with Bruce, only it didn’t grow on me quite the same.

Like I said, I just have a favored look of Alfred’s (I’d dig up the picture but it’s on my phone and I’m lazy) and this just didn’t make the cut.

Uhm and lastly, Oswald.

Out of the Rogues of Gotham I feel like I don’t know Victor Freeze and Oswald Cobblepot...nearly well enough to be talking about them. But the game dealt with Oz so...I’m here talking about him.

And really my issue with him is that...to me he was barely recognizable because I only know Penguin by his typical outlandish look--short, round as a goddamn beach ball, and with that insane curved/hooked nose.

So I may be wrong in that he does look like this sometimes? I really wouldn’t know, like I said I don’t know Mr. Cobblepot very well at all. I just was surprised he looked like this and when Bruce was all, “Penguin?” I was also ?????? but for a different fucking reason, lmao.

I didn’t put Jim up here because he’s always on point regardless of what he looks like, so. 10/10, no notes for you, Jim. ♥

So moving beyond eye candy, the actual game itself, like I said, it was a surprisingly endearing way to be introduced to Gotham. It’s one thing to read the comics and see this particular writer’s vision of what Gotham is and who Bruce Wayne is, but with me in the driver’s seat and getting to make decisions, I got to shape Gotham and Bruce/Batman the way I would like them to be (at least as much as the game allows, lol) and there’s definitely something to be said about that.

I made sure to try and stick at least somewhat to how I think Bruce would have reacted to some things--especially as Batman. I like to stay true to superheroes’ brands (in terms of gameplay, writing is another story) so I kept the no-killing and tried to be...less violent than I might have been if I were, say, Frank. Which helped me win over Jim, so~ Haha but I uhm, I went the compassionate route with Bruce as Bruce Wayne, I was supportive of those around me and appreciative of them.

Unsurprisingly there was a Bruce/Selina aspect to the game, and I played that more as myself, because like Bunny I don’t really like them together. Selina is fine on her own, I see what she was saying about that, but seeing the way Selina is with people--she says things to hurt Bruce just to do it, and I’m...not down with that. Emotional maturity is a thing, lol, maybe she could steal some of that.

Ha-cha~ That joke isn’t funny but I said it anyway.

But I get it. I...palmed Bruce’s face out of the way and just gave the emotional answers as myself and I could see beyond Selina’s words to what she’s hiding--or trying to. You hurt others to keep yourself from being hurt, I’ve seen that sort of behavior before and I get she’s hiding her feelings by lashing out--a lot like a kitty with her claws out. So I have respect for her as a character because of the complexity, it’s just not how you go about having a relationship with someone, lol.

Like she stole some shit from Bruce, was fine to do it, so I retaliated by stealing some of her tech because i’m a petty ass bitch and she got bitey with me about it.

Like girl.

I also, like I said, went the route of supporting Harvey...because of course I did. I defended him every chance I got, funded his campaign...even after he told me he was distancing himself from me (let me LOVE YOU) and when he started to snap and Two Face was trying to get out, I refused to fight him and encouraged him to get help.

In the end, when Harvey turned on Bruce and literally tried to kill Alfred, Jim asked Batman if Harvey should “rot in prison,” or be sent to Arkham to get help.

I...know Arkham is corrupt and that’s a whole thing in and of itself but I went the compassionate route and sent Harvey to get help.

In the end, I saw Harvey in a cell. He refused to come out and help the inmates during a riot, but the poor baby actually looked kind of afraid?

And not to like, go off on a rant or anything but it was interesting seeing this take on Harvey/Two Face. I could relate to it, in a way, because it reminded me of my Alters and how I created Drette and especially misi to sort of allow myself to be and feel things that I typically try to hide.

Two Face started to show himself and though he...wasn’t nice to Harvey, he did defend him and insist he was there to protect Harvey, that “no one will ever hurt or take advantage of him again”.

Touched my heart. ♥

Selina was also playing Harvey, 100% using him for her own means and she said, about him, “Poor guy just wanted to fall in love so bad.”

AND THAT BROKE MY HEART.

He did seem very lost in this game, like this need to be Mayor and to be this big shot attorney was trying to fill a void, make up for some inadequacies he felt he had.

I’ve always been a sucker for broken toys.

And speaking of broken toys, Joker’s whole deal really wasn’t touched on much in this game (it is in the second one, which I’ll probably start after work) but I want to talk about the fact that I was like one of like 15% of people who promised Joker a favor and I’m fucking weak over it.

Lemme set the scene--Bruce, stuck in Arkham, befriends Joker (because I fucking made him) and Joker says he’ll get Bruce out of Arkham “but you’ll owe me a favor~ When I get out of here.”

And you had a choice, to owe him a favor or not.

I was 0% hesitation to shake his hand, lmao, and I didn’t think much of it until I got to the end of the chapter and it was like, “You and 15% of others agreed to owe Joker a favor.”

And I was like...? Oh shit that probably was a bad idea, lmao.

HE’S CUTE, LIKE I SAID. TF YOU WANT FROM ME.

And Bruce’s little Codex journal (which was adorable, btw) updated to include the favor I promised and he wrote, “Not a big deal to owe a favor to a psycho who will never get out of Arkham, right?”

Which- 1) You’re adorably naive if you think he’s not getting out. 2) I legit didn’t consider it being a bad idea.

So I owe Joker a favor to be collected later and I should probably be concerned because the end of the game showed Joker out and fanboying over Bruce in a bar.

SO. (oﾟ□ﾟ)o  YEAH. TBC.

There were other highlights to the game, like getting to comfort and protect a little boy (BE STILL MY MATERNAL HEART) and for FUCK’S sake, Oswald taking over Wayne Enterprises for a bit.

The entire thing was infuriating as fuck, like I mildly wanted to kick Oz in the face repeatedly by the end of the game, but the scene where Bruce gets his company back and he’s looking at all the shit Oswald did while he had it--I was absolutely in hysterics.

First of all, Oswald used COMIC FUCKING SANS to cross out Bruce’s name and write “Cobblepot Enterprises” on the website. I fucking lost my mind. It was so childish and petty and the YELLOW font looked SO OUT OF PLACE WITH BRUCE’S SRS BUSINESS FONT EVERYWHERE ELSE.

But it gets better.

Oswald had his team hack Gotham’s public records and not only did he change Bruce’s Ivy League diploma to Sociology BUT HE FUCKING CHANGED BRUCE’S MEDICAL RECORDS TO SAY HE HAD SEVERAL STD’S.

WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKING SCREAMED.

I had to pause the game because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t hear Alfred.

AND BRUCE FACEPALMED AS HE READ THE LIST and my god. I lost years off my laugh, laughing that hard.

I’ve talked quite a bit more than I intended to so I’ll wrap this up but before I do, I want to touch on one more thing and I think it’s that DC really did a good job with making Alfred the reason Bruce is a good man, a hero.

I haven’t read or seen or consumed all the Batman media that’s out there, but this is the fourth or fifth time I’ve seen Bruce’s parents turn out to be absolute shits. I mean this time it was only his father who was a dickhead, but the times his parents turn out to be garbage people vs actual decent human beings is like 6 to 1. And the one time I’m thinking of was some alternate dimension so I’m not even sure that counts.

So as someone who has pretty fucked up parents I think it’s nice to see a story where your parents don’t make you who you are. That timeline where Bruce’s parents lived and he turned into this spoiled, entitled brat, where it really showed that Alfred was the one who molded and shaped the good man who grew up to be Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s Golden Son...I think that’s so important. I really like that side of Bruce’s backstory, I think it’s something that isn’t as touched on as much as it should be.

There wouldn’t be a Batman without Alfred and it isn’t just because Alfred is always there at the end of the com when Bruce needs him.

And you can bet your sweet butt I made Bruce say that to Alfred at the end of the game. And Alfred got all teary and I got all teary and this is that qUALITY CONTENT.

Also? I’m super ashamed at the amount of people I saw in the stats who turned on Harvey and abandoned Alfred. I was in the minority a lot of time for shit I def shouldn’t have been in the minority for.

Half the time the stats would roll and I’m left looking at the PISS POOR CHOICES OF THE COMMON MAN LIKE

Y’all some worthless motherfuckers.

So yes! This was a lot of fun to play and I’m absolutely giddy to start the next game, especially since I get to see Puppy!Joker in it. And he’s going to be friends with Bruce because I’M IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT NOW, BATMAN.

Buckle up, Brucie, we’re full speed ahead toward Crazytown. ٩( ᐛ )و

[crystallinerays]

Give me everything about Desh. EVERYTHING. ALL OF THE NUMBERS. And then give me a character to do as well.

Well, i just came home from target with microwave pizza and a bottle of wine and I can’t think of better circumstances to talk about my favorite dumpster baby so here we go!

1. What is one thing others might find intolerable about them?

Other than their ridiculous upbeat attitude and kleptomaniac tendencies?

Maybe the fact that they leave their stuff everywhere. Come home from a mission and there’s armor strewn about the living room and kitchen and the stairs. A left on the bathroom sink, quiver of holding dangling off a door knob. One boot is in the front hallway and another is just chilling kicked off in her doorway. There are personal notes everywhere in a stupid variety of languages just left on any surface.

Like at first moving in with Desh seems find. They seem all neat and organized, but that’s because they didn’t own anything yet. Now, they’re really messy to live with, okay. There’s a method in the madness hidden deep in it, but like way deep.

(Desh’s room is fucking meticulous btw, it’s just all the shared spaces that they keep leaving their shit in. They want to make it super obvious that they live there, this is their house, and they’re comfortably not going anywhere.)

2. Do they have any annoying quirks? If so, what are they?

Does fidgeting count? Desh cannot stay still to save their life. Drumming fingers, tapping feet, taking off jewelry and fiddling with it (Desh wears a shit ton of rings like i do for just this purpose), spinning arrows, fucking around with knives, pacing.

Please imagine a Silver Council meeting where everyone is sitting down around a table and Desh is stalking  the perimeter of the room very seriously twirling a knife. It’s unnerving as fuck, but considering the current high stress situation it’s the only thing that really helps them pay attention.

that’s a quirk, right?

3. Name one or more of their bad habits.

Knives

Okay, I think we all know this kid is like the living personification of bad ideas being the only ideas. But honestly? Being an impulsive mother fuck.

4. Any addictions? (Food, sex, drugs/alcohol, shopping, power/control, etc.)

Sorta??? They’re a former drug addict. (And not just because some ghosts gave Desh and Thul opium addictions waaaaaay back when.)

I like to think when Desh and their brother were sold into slavery getting them hooked on opium or something was a good way of keeping them compliant and less likely to try and run away. They were cured of this once they were liberated (remove disease), but Desh did relapse for a while after witnessing Pezzack burn. They were a scared fucking nineteen year old kid fell in with the wrong crowd, okay? They left that behind and have been clean for a few years but like that was a thing that happened.

(all those nat 20s i rolled to cure their phantom addiction? maybe her Cayden taking mercy on her and being like “you’ve been through this enough, kid”)

5. What is one thing they do that can negatively affect their relationship with friends?

Well, they are rash and impulsive  and emotional and honestly doesn’t give a shit about hurting people’s feeling if what they think what they’re doing is Right, BUT I’m gonna say a bad habit of withholding information on this one.

Desh doesn’t like lying and believes in honesty above all things (and she’s the group’s spymaster. it’s impractical and a bit hypocritical yes I know), but she’s 100% behind not telling the full truth and withholding information to those she doesn’t think need to know it.

Like she’s not going to forwardly talk about her history and her wants and needs or why exactly Yewon bothers her (they don’t actually hate him it’s just... complicated? we haven’t quite unpacked that box yet, but it mostly has to do with his skill at lying and ability to easily manipulate and control people). But these are things they need everyone to know and might cause problems later on because they’ll interpret it as no one caring about them beyond their usefulness which is Bad™

6. Their romantic relationships?

I thought this was supposed to be about character flaws? This isn’t a flaw. Desh honestly considers meeting Ellia to be the single best thing that has happened to them since arriving in this hell hole of a fucking city. (Do not say this too loud around Reprisal or the bow I’m still trying to come up with a cool name for or the HOLY TANKARK OF INFINITE ALCOHOL.)

Fuck man, there’s someone who actually cares about them and like set them down to help them write an actual legal will. That’s probably the only legal document that Desh has relating to themself that wasn’t forged tbh. Like fuck I’m kinda tearing up just thinking about how much that would mean to them. How much Ellia means to them.

Desh fully intended to burn the whole city down if they had to back when dealing with Jill’s fucked up family and Ellia went missing. Like they would have done literally anything to ensure her safety or to exact vengeance and I just

And the stupid fucking pirate joke was so silly and pure like that honestly caught us both off guard.

But like she’s the only one who has asked Desh more than one personal question about themself and I am almost 100% certain that Desh would be completely and honestly open about her past and her family and her insecurities and everything with her. Like Desh communication is super fucking important in any relationship, but even more so to Desh and the fact that there is someone who cares. There’s no walls, no matter how stupid that might be.

Desh loves her. Like honestly loves her.

7. What is the biggest mistake they’ve ever made?

Going to Kintargo in the first place

Taking point on what they were fully aware of being an ambush and getting themself surrounded and then killed.

8. What mistake(s) do they continue to make/have not learned from?

It would be easier to list mistakes they have learned from tbh. Here’s one: don’t shoot at the faces of your teammates no matter how dope it might look.

9. Name some of their major physical shortcomings.

They can’t whistle or snap their fingers.

That’s the story and I’m sticking to it.

10. Some of their emotional shortcomings?

[takes a looooooooong drink]

boy howdy

They’re 24 years old and have heavy abandonment issues, lack a self worth outside of a price sticker slapped on them at an auction block (”463 gold for the pair”), depression, anxiety, ptsd. They never learned how to properly cope with most things. They’re fucking scared and constantly overwhelmed and nothing makes sense anymore. They never really got to be a kid and they’re kind of a total mess as an adult because of it.

11. What are their intellectual shortcomings?

That’s a bit harder to nail down??? Because something they’ve devoted their life and freedom to has been collecting knowledge. They’re fluent in 14 languages and know a lot of stuff about various entities they they might encounter in a fight. And they can probably tell you every myth and folklore from Rahadoum and Chelliax about dragons.

But honestly? People skills. They can sometimes be a bit of an awkward duck around people they’re not familiar with or in situations where they’re caught off guard.

12. At least one thing that they tend to overreact to.

SPIDERS

DESH DOES NOT LIKE SPIDERS

13. In what ways might they be overly negative and/or pessimistic?

One of the first things that y’all still ride me for is checking a cooking pot in Luculla’s house for the remains of children.

They were adamant about Thrune using his gifts to track the group’s movements.

As funny as Desh can be, her serious moments are very real and present and fucked up.

14. Is there anything they are too optimistic about?

[laughs for a solid fifteen minutes] Not anymore!

Their relationship probably. The whole rebellion not blowing up in smoke. Ending slavery in the region once it’s been liberated with no significant blow back. Being able to settle down and become a well adjusted person some day.

15. How might they be ignorant or prejudiced?

They have a problem with the word “evil”. Like everyone who is Evil is Bad. But like Ellia is Lawful Evil (last time I checked) and she’s not bad. She’s a good girlfriend and it was really complicated for a while but I think she’s kinda learning that sometimes people are just the alignment of their country by default and not Bad.

Or maybe it’s just Ellia. Probably just Ellia. She’s a beautiful outlier who should not have been counted.

16. Do they have any behaviors and/or beliefs that cannot be adequately justified?

I try and justify everything they do... I would have said their fear of spiders but... well... you kind of had a spider creature bite her face off so...

17. When would they be too judgmental of someone or something?

That time they fucking destroyed the imp.

When their first thought upon finding out that both Ellia and Luculla were missing was “Luculla’s behind this and I’m going to fucking skin her alive. She didn’t deserve me saving her life.”

18. Are they ever a pushover about something? If so, how?

She can go with the group’s mindset about most things like she doesn’t entirely give a fuck what they’re going to do as long as they can set up a decent groundwork for a plan first and no one innocent is being harmed outright.

19. Is there anything they refuse to budge on? What are they stubborn about?

Their stance on lying, control/manipulation, and slavery. That stance will never change. Ever.

But in general, once they’ve made up their mind about something they’re going to be stubborn af about it.

20. What is a self-inflicted misery of theirs? (i.e. something they perpetuate themselves)

Ooooooooooooh boy

Just read through this again. I’ve probably mentioned several.