#but they're so doomer soulmates vibes

[yeonbam]

jack and joke are soulmates in a way that is so exclusive yet contradictory to each other. it's the way no one can understand them like each other and the way no one can misunderstand them like each other. they know exactly what the other needs, at the same time they don't know how to be what the other needs. Both of them know their shortcomings, neither believe they're perfect. And each hurt they cause the other is a miscalculated one yet inflicted with awareness, each wound they heal for the other is the exact way the other wants it to be healed.

Choosing to open up to Jack about what he did at the hospital of all places was an act of driving a double-ended sword. As he stabs himself, he stabs jack too— only strangers stab you in the back, Joke stabs Jack in the front; jack saw it coming and he didn't at the same time. Joke's self destructive tendencies, his inability to forgive himself, makes him develop trust issues that prevent him from opening up and this indirectly sabotages the relationship before it starts.

As ama puts it, he trades Jack's freedom for never getting to see him again. the understanding of hurt inflicted is lodged within it. Jack never wanted to have his freedom stolen back without his knowledge. The culmination of all the stress and trauma and information he recieves in half a day leads to his outburst— to ask joke to never show his face again; this was the only way he could return the pain and inflict it on himself at the same time— by isolating (and he not only isolated from Joke but from his friends, only choosing to act with Save). Joke took his word for it this time because he loves Jack more than he did the first time they met, he believes himself to be the thorn in every relationship because all his solutions involve stealing— the one thing Jack asked him to stop doing.

both of them are traumatised and emotionally unstable due to what happened in the span of literally a day. Joke is so consumed by his guilt, he only wants to hurt himself thinking it will fix everything, Jack is so consumed by his pain he too goes to literally hurt himself in the hands of Boss' men thinking violence will give him answers as to why his life just turned upside down. And that moment between the life-and-death of their relationship, at the hospital, their pains gave rise to the worst possible misunderstanding for the moment. Jack's feeling of betrayal and saying things he doesn't mean, Joke's all-consuming guilt and not giving Jack the full story.